Chapter Text
Sharing a horse with Dina is more distracting than Ellie anticipated.
It isn’t just the incessant talking - the stories, interrogations, and silly word games that Dina insists on playing - it’s the touching. Ellie’s backpack provides a much-needed buffer between their bodies, but their ankles still bump together whenever Shimmer traverses uneven ground. Dina’s hand holds onto Ellie’s shoulder more often than not, her touch searing Ellie’s skin even through the jacket.
It doesn’t help that Dina has a habit of leaning forward and speaking directly into Ellie’s ear with that same low tone she used months ago on the dance floor. Whether she does it to tease about something Ellie said or to emphasize the punchline of some terrible joke she just told, it has the same effect. Ellie has to suppress a shiver, goosebumps running up her arms, and desperately try not to think about that night.
“Maybe… they’re jealous of you.”
She isn’t often successful.
They hadn’t spoken about what happened on New Year's Eve, and Ellie thinks it’s best to keep it that way. There’s no need to make things awkward by bringing up a kiss they shared while they were both under the influence. Dina had probably only done it to make Jesse jealous anyways, and Ellie wouldn’t be surprised if they had gotten back together again while she was in the hospital.
She tries not to think about how that idea makes her a bit nauseous. Her feelings are her own problem to deal with, and whatever Dina has with Jesse is none of her business. Right now, she needs to keep her feelings to herself so she doesn’t fuck up her friendship. If only her body would cooperate.
—
One day as they’re traveling through a lush wooded area, the distant sound of running water causes Dina to grab Ellie’s upper arm in excitement.
“Do you hear that? We should check it out, I’ve been wanting to wash off for ages.”
Ellie sighs, gripping the reins tighter when Dina’s hand lingers on her bicep. “Are you sure? It might be pretty far off the path.”
She feels an annoyed exhale against the back of her head, and Dina’s hand leaves her arm to prod her firmly in the back of the shoulder. “You might be nose blind by now, but I have to share a tent with you. Come on, it’s been days!”
Ellie frowns, but she begins steering Shimmer towards the sound of the water, surreptitiously trying to sniff under her arm. “Do I really smell that bad?”
She feels Dina press against her backpack as she leans forward, her breath tickling Ellie’s ear. “Maybe, maybe not. But you could definitely smell better.”
Ellie can picture the smug smile on Dina’s face, and she rolls her eyes, ignoring another wave of traitorous goosebumps. As much as she wants to avoid distractions on their way to Seattle, she has to admit that cleaning off would feel great right now.
She’s relieved when they come across a small waterfall not terribly far from the path. The large pool beneath it flows into a brightly bubbling stream, and the water appears clean. Ellie halts Shimmer next to the waterfall, and Dina dismounts immediately.
By the time Ellie has Shimmer tied to a tree trunk, Dina’s pulled something out of her backpack, which she tosses in Ellie’s direction. Ellie catches it, and looks down to see that it’s half a bar of soap.
“I did bring my own soap, you know. My hygiene isn’t that bad,” Ellie grumbles.
“Yeah, but this one is lavender scented. I traded for it last month,” Dina says proudly, holding up her own half of the bar.
Ellie raises an eyebrow. “Fancy.”
She turns to double-check the security of Shimmer’s tie, and when she turns back around, her mouth falls open at the sight of Dina rapidly shedding her clothes. She’s already down to her white undershirt, and is in the process of pulling down her jeans.
Dina looks up as if sensing Ellie’s eyes on her, and she laughs at Ellie’s expression. “What? I thought you’d be used to seeing a girl in her underwear considering how long you were with Cat.”
Ellie blushes furiously, turning around to stare resolutely at the tree bark. “That’s different,” she insists.
“Is it?” comes Dina’s teasing response from behind her.
Ellie chooses not to reply to that, afraid of the conversation venturing into dangerous territory.
There’s a pause where Dina presumably removes the rest of her clothing, and then Ellie hears splashing, followed by the sound of Dina humming as she cleans herself in the running water. Ellie taps her foot anxiously against the ground, trying not to think about the fact that Dina was completely naked only a few feet behind her - or imagine what that might look like.
After a few minutes and some more splashing, Dina’s voice sounds over the steady rush of the waterfall. “You can come in too, you know. I’m neck deep right now, so you won’t see anything that will corrupt your innocence.”
Ellie turns around slowly. She’s both relieved and a little disappointed to see that Dina is right - only her head is visible above the bubbling water, and everything else is lost in a blur beneath its surface. Ellie hopes that the lingering redness on her cheeks isn’t too visible.
Dina bobs a little closer, her dark hair floating around her shoulders. “I’ll turn around until you tell me I can look,” she promises.
Ellie nods, and Dina turns away, humming to herself again. It sounds vaguely like one of Ellie’s favorite Nirvana songs.
Once Ellie is completely stripped of her clothing, she steps into the pool, gritting her teeth as the cold water saps the warmth from her skin. She positions herself underneath the waterfall and uses the soap to scrub the sweat and dirt from her body, the running water aiding with the process.
When she's satisfied, she throws the remaining soap near her clothes and wades further into the water, bending her knees so that she’s covered up to her neck. “Okay, you can turn around.”
Dina turns, and she floats closer with a mischievous smile - so close that Ellie can see the water droplets on her long eyelashes. If Ellie raises her hand a few inches, she’ll be touching bare skin. She shivers from more than the water temperature.
“Well, what do you think?” Dina says coyly. “Do I smell like lavender?”
Ellie’s eyes briefly flutter closed as she’s reminded of New Year’s Eve.
“Okay, I have a very serious question for you. How bad do I smell?”
No. She had told herself she wouldn’t think about that night.
“I don’t know, but you definitely smell better than before,” Ellie responds, keeping her voice even.
Dina makes a small noise of offense, but her smile remains. “You dick. Only I’m allowed to say that.”
“Of course, because you’re always so mean to me,” Ellie says with mock sadness.
“It’s not my fault that you’re so fun to tease.” Dina’s grin is brilliant, crinkling her eyes, and Ellie has to look away because she’s too beautiful.
“We should get going. We’re too vulnerable like this and we’re losing daylight.”
—
The storm comes on fast that evening, and Ellie’s half-dried hair is soaked again before she can get the tent up.
Dina doesn’t fare much better, and for the second time that day she begins stripping down to her undergarments. “Ugh! I hate wet jeans!” she whines as she peels them down her legs.
Ellie hums in agreement as she looks up at the top of the tent. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Dina shifting around and a flash of bare skin, and she pretends to find the pattern of raindrops against the tent fabric especially fascinating.
“I didn’t take you to be such a prude,” Dina jokes as she settles onto her sleeping bag, clearly noticing Ellie’s flustered state.
Ellie mentally curses Dina’s ability to read her so well. “I’m not a prude. I just want to respect your privacy, that’s all.”
“I don’t mind if you look, you know.” Dina’s tone is softer this time, and a bit lower. “I mean, we’ve been friends for years, and this isn’t exactly a peaceful journey we’re on. I can handle a bit of vulnerability.”
Ellie finally turns her head to see Dina lying on her side, propped up on one elbow. Her rainbow jacket is covering her legs, but the rain has made her camisole damp, and Ellie can see her bra through its thin material.
Ellie quickly averts her gaze up to Dina’s face, and finds Dina studying her curiously, as if trying to figure something out. After a moment, she seems to arrive at a conclusion, and a smile plays at the corner of her lips. “I think I know why you’re being so jumpy around me. It’s because of New Year’s Eve.”
The tent suddenly seems too hot, and Ellie clears her throat nervously. “Why would you think that?”
Dina’s smile spreads. “Because we kissed, genius.”
Ellie thinks she will always be in awe of Dina’s ability to be so blunt. “Right, but you were high,” she deflects.
“And you were drunk,” Dina points out.
“Exactly, so I’m not reading into it if that’s what you’re worried about. We both weren’t in our right minds, and there’s no need for things to be awkward between us.” It’s practically rehearsed, and Ellie says it all with as much confidence as she can muster, feeling proud of her ability to act unfazed.
However, this feeling quickly diminishes when Dina’s expression only becomes more amused. “If that’s true, then you won’t mind me asking a question about it, right?”
“Sure. No problem. What’s your question?” Ellie responds immediately, trying to sell her indifference.
Dina has a devious glint in her eye, and Ellie begins to feel as if she’s fallen into some sort of trap. “How… would you rate it?”
“Huh?”
Dina shifts onto her stomach, propped up by both arms. The light from the lantern between them casts a warm glow on the side of her face. “The kiss. How would you rate it? Scale of one to ten.”
Ellie looks away, sighing loudly in a way that sounds exasperated, but is really to calm her racing heart. She doesn’t think she can handle Dina teasing her about this topic, and she wants to shut it down as soon as possible. “I’m not going to rate it.”
“Come on,” Dina goads. “You’ve kissed girls before, but that was my first time. I want to know if I’m any good at it!”
Ellie continues to stare at the top of the tent as she contemplates running out into the storm to avoid this conversation. Finally, she decides to settle on a safe answer, and rolls on her side to face Dina again. “Fine. I’d give it a six.”
“Oh, fuck you!” Dina exclaims, sitting up completely. The movement partially shifts the jacket off of her bare legs. “No way it was a six! That sucks!”
“Well you asked, and I answered. Maybe you aren’t as good of a kisser as you thought,” Ellie counters.
Dina tilts her head to the side, looking contemplative. After a moment, her smirk slowly returns. “Maybe. But I could improve, right?”
“Huh?” Ellie thought she’d finally gained the upper hand, but the question catches her off guard again.
Dina leans forward, biting her bottom lip briefly. “I mean, do you think with a bit of practice I could be better at kissing girls?”
Ellie sits up slowly, no longer able to bear Dina looking down at her while they have this conversation. Why was Dina still talking about this when she probably didn’t even like girls? Hadn’t she just agreed that their kiss had been a mistake?
Ellie frowns as she tries to remember exactly what Dina had said, and against her better judgement, she feels a spark of hope. She decides to respond cautiously, afraid of misreading the situation and scaring Dina away. “Um… I guess.”
Dina considers Ellie for a moment, her eyes dark and searching. It seems as if she’s steeling herself for something. Finally, she says, “Do you want to find out?”
Ellie swallows, her gaze drifting across Dina’s face. She notes Dina’s blown out pupils, and the way Dina is currently looking at her like she’s edible. A lot of things are suddenly starting to click into place, and Ellie’s brain feels like it’s having a hard time catching up.
She makes Dina repeat herself, even though she thinks she already understands. “What do you mean?”
Dina leans even farther forward. “Do you want to find out if I can do better? Right now?” Her voice is lower than before, and her whole body appears tense; coiled like a spring, and waiting for permission to act.
Without even fully considering the consequences, Ellie gives it to her. “Yes.”
Dina pushes the jacket fully off of herself and shifts forward so that she can swing a leg over Ellie’s thighs. Her weight settles firmly on Ellie’s lap, and she grabs the sides of Ellie’s face with both hands. She hovers there briefly, eyes darting between Ellie’s eyes and lips, and she smells like lavender.
When Dina leans in, Ellie expects the kiss to start off chaste, like their first. She’s immediately proven wrong. Dina’s lips move boldly against her own, hot and wanting, and the pace is so unexpectedly fast that Ellie gasps into Dina’s open mouth. She moves one hand up into Dina’s damp curls and uses the other to grasp Dina’s hip, holding on for dear life.
Ellie kisses back with fervor, still not quite believing that this is real. The slick sounds of their mouths meeting over and over are audible even over the driving rain, and a small fire ignites in Ellie’s lower stomach. Dina’s tongue slips into her mouth, and the fire grows into a blaze. It feels like Dina is trying to consume her, and it's all so overwhelming that Ellie legitimately fears passing out.
Dina begins to rock her hips gently into Ellie’s lap, making soft mmph noises in the back of her throat. In response, Ellie swipes her tongue along Dina’s bottom lip, sucking it lightly into her mouth, and the sound Dina makes is slightly louder this time.
Ellie’s hand begins to move of its own accord, roaming across Dina’s lower back. The fabric of Dina’s camisole is lifted slightly by the movements, and Ellie eventually slips her hand under it completely, causing Dina to sigh heavily. The barriers of clothing between their bodies begin to feel restrictive, but Ellie is unwilling to separate their mouths long enough to do anything about it.
Dina, it seems, has less patience. She pulls back, giggling as Ellie chases her lips, and yanks her undershirt over her head. Ellie has barely any time to take in the newly exposed skin before Dina is grabbing her face again and picking up exactly where they left off.
Ellie’s hand roams more freely over Dina’s back, fingers dipping under the strap of her bra. Dina leans back into the touch, before detaching their lips again so she can begin placing hot kisses along Ellie’s neck, her hands moving down to grasp at Ellie’s back. Ellie curses under her breath when she feels teeth scraping at her skin.
“Dina.”
“Mmhm?” Dina hums innocently against Ellie’s neck, pressing more kisses there.
“If you keep doing that-” Ellie has to cut herself off as she feels Dina sucking at her pulse point, and she bites her tongue to avoid making an embarrassing noise. She takes a deep breath and tries again, her voice more strangled than before. “If you keep doing that, I’m going to get too worked up.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Dina murmurs, still not pulling away.
“I don’t know,” Ellie says hoarsely. “How far do you want this to go?”
Dina shifts, and then Ellie feels warm breath against her ear. “That’s up to you,” Dina whispers.
Ellie suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the situation she’s in. Her best friend and long-time crush is currently straddling her, wearing only a bra and underwear, and giving her permission to do the sorts of things she had only imagined in her most guilt-ridden fantasies.
It’s enough to make her light-headed again. But, at the same time, she feels a strange surge of confidence. Dina was right - they are currently risking their lives to go to Seattle, and there’s no point in wasting any more time that they have together.
Ellie steadies her hand against Dina’s upper back, grasps Dina’s thigh firmly with the other, and flips their bodies around. Dina lets out a small squeal of surprise, and the lantern is knocked on its side, dimming the already scant light within their tent.
Ellie can’t help but grin, proud of the fact that she’s finally managed to wipe the smug look from Dina’s face. She leans down to connect their lips again, but is stopped by Dina’s hand on her sternum.
“Wait. This isn’t fair,” Dina says, and Ellie’s ego ratchets up another notch at how breathless she sounds. “You’re still wearing all of your clothes. I want to see you.” She tugs at Ellie’s shirt meaningfully.
Ellie is willing to do whatever it takes to keep kissing Dina, so she immediately sits back on her heels to yank her shirt over her head. By the time it’s landed behind them she’s already tugging at her belt. Dina giggles again when Ellie fumbles with the buckle in her haste to undo it, and her hands come up to cover Ellie's. “Here, let me.”
The sight of Dina undoing her belt buckle sears itself in Ellie’s brain, and she has to take a calming breath that she hopes isn’t too audible.
Once Ellie’s belt is pulled loose and she’s shimmied out of her jeans, she’s left in a pair of boxer shorts and a bra. They’re a rather ragged set that Ellie chose for comfort, and for a moment she feels a bit self-conscious about it. But then she sees how Dina is looking up at her with dark, half-lidded eyes, and she forgets all of her worries.
Ellie leans down to place gentle kisses on Dina’s nose, cheeks, and the corners of her mouth, caressing the side of Dina’s face with her spare hand. When their lips reconnect, she can feel Dina smiling.
Their kiss slowly becomes more passionate, and Dina hikes one of her legs up around Ellie’s waist. She begins to rock her hips again, and makes an adorably frustrated noise against Ellie’s lips when she finds nothing to press against. Eventually, she reaches up and grabs Ellie’s hand, guiding it back down her body to her underwear.
Ellie pulls back to look Dina in the eyes, and Dina nods rapidly. A request.
Ellie buries her face in Dina’s neck at the same time that she slips her hand into Dina’s underwear. Dina’s back arches, her hips bearing down onto Ellie’s touch, and Ellie can feel the low moan that escapes from where her lips are pressed against Dina’s throat. Ellie is gentle and exploratory, putting pressure on the place that she knows works for herself, and Dina’s breathing quickens, her hips rolling against Ellie’s hand at increasing speed.
Ellie places open-mouthed kisses from Dina’s collarbone up to the space behind her ear. Dina’s skin is salty with sweat when Ellie’s tongue darts out to taste it, and Ellie begins sucking a sizable bruise on Dina’s pulse point. Payback for the earlier mark that Dina had surely left.
Dina has a death grip on Ellie’s upper arm, and both of her legs are now wrapped tightly around Ellie’s waist. “Ellie. Inside, please,” she gasps.
The instruction makes Ellie feel a burning tug in her lower abdomen, and her movements falter for a moment before she hurries to obey. The fabric of Dina’s underwear is somewhat restrictive, but Ellie is able to slip a finger inside while keeping her palm steady for Dina to press against. Dina makes a high-pitched, strangled noise, and her hips rock even more urgently.
“Faster…. Fuck. Press up a little bit. Right there, yes.” Dina’s breathless instructions continue, guiding Ellie towards what she likes. Every time Ellie does something right and Dina’s pleasure audibly increases, it feels like the greatest accomplishment Ellie has ever achieved.
Eventually Ellie finds a steady rhythm, moving and curling her finger in pace with what Dina seems to like best, and their interlocked bodies move in tandem. She’s never felt so close to another person before. She’s overwhelmed by the feel of it - the heat and the wetness; and she can still barely believe that Dina is letting her do this to her. That Dina begged for it.
Ellie looks up to watch Dina’s face, and sees that her eyes are screwed shut, mouth agape. She somehow looks more beautiful than ever before. Ellie wants to tell her so, and she does. “You’re so beautiful. You feel so good.”
Dina’s hips jerk particularly hard against Ellie’s hand. “Fuck, Ellie,” she chokes out. “I think I’m…”
Ellie can guess what Dina is trying to convey to her, and she focuses on keeping up the pace and pressure. The desperate sounds Dina makes seem to echo inside Ellie, causing a throbbing sensation between her legs, but Ellie grits her teeth through the distraction.
Dina’s back arches and her muscles become taut, her thighs quivering around Ellie’s middle as she cries out. Ellie continues her movements until Dina finally relaxes beneath her. She carefully removes her hand, and Dina’s hips twitch at the loss of contact. Ellie’s shoulder and wrist are burning, and she flops over on her back, breathing heavily.
Dina stirs beside her, seeming to come out of a daze. She sits up, and Ellie takes in the sight of her - tousled hair, underwear sitting low around her hips, and a red mark forming on her neck. The throbbing between Ellie’s legs increases, and she rubs her thighs together restlessly.
Dina’s eye’s follow the movement. A slow smile appears on her face.
“Can I help?” she asks, placing a hand meaningfully over the band of Ellie’s boxer shorts. Her voice is slightly raspy from exertion.
Ellie can feel her whole face flushing as she nods her assent. Even after having her hand down Dina’s underwear, she’s still so easily flustered by Dina’s attention.
Dina gently pulls the boxer shorts down Ellie’s legs, and then to Ellie’s surprise, shifts further down until she’s lying between them. She presses kisses to Ellie’s stomach, her hands gripping Ellie’s hips. Ellie feels herself tensing as she fights off nerves.
Dina notices immediately, and her thumbs rub gentle, reassuring circles into Ellie’s hip bones. “Relax,” she murmurs. “It’s just me.”
Ellie wants to say that the fact it is Dina is exactly the reason why she feels so nervous, but instead she takes a deep, calming breath.
Dina kisses her way down to Ellie’s inner thighs, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin, and Ellie’s hand automatically shoots down to tangle in Dina’s hair. She’s so worked up that her breath is coming in pants, and she practically yelps when she suddenly feels a warm tongue against her center.
Dina clutches Ellie’s hips tighter, licking at her in a way that feels experimental; testing what brings about the best reactions. It’s a little clumsy, but Ellie was already close just from touching Dina, and the sight of Dina between her thighs is almost enough by itself to tip her over the edge.
She tries to hold back to prolong the moment, but then Dina’s tongue flicks over a certain spot, and Ellie’s eyes roll to the back of her head.
“Fuck, Dina!” she cries out.
Heat shoots down her spine, drawing her back upwards like a bow, and bliss washes across her whole body. It’s pleasure like she’s never felt before. When it settles, she realizes that her eyes are shut tight. She opens them slowly, still feeling a bit dazed, and sees Dina hovering over her.
“Good?” Dina asks with a crooked grin, and Ellie’s stomach flutters when she sees the shininess around Dina’s lips.
Ellie throws her arm over her eyes with a groan. “How the fuck did you know how to do that? I thought I was your first… you know,” she trails off.
“I read about it in a book.”
Ellie lowers her arm to look at Dina, confused. “A book?”
“Yeah,” says Dina, half-laying on her side. “When I was on patrol one time, I found this book about two women who were in some sort of club together. It had a lot of… educational information.”
Ellie snorts. “Seriously? And you kept it?”
“Hey, you never know when that kind of information might be useful,” Dina says, waggling her eyebrows.
“Sure,” Ellie deadpans. She sits up to grab a new pair of boxer shorts from her bag, certain that the other pair has been ruined, and tugs them on. When she looks back, she finds Dina watching her with something soft in her eyes. Something that Ellie is afraid to name.
Dina blinks, and her expression is overtaken by a mischievous smile. “So, how would you-”
“I’m not going to rate it,” Ellie interjects immediately, and Dina’s head tilts back as she bursts into laughter.
“You’re no fun,” she chuckles.
Ellie lays on her side, propped up on her elbow so that their faces are inches apart. “Okay, then. How would you rate it?” she asks. Her right hand settles possessively on Dina’s hip, drawing mindless patterns with her thumb.
Dina’s eyes lift to the sky as she pretends to think. “Hmm. I think I’ll keep the number to myself, but it was better than I imagined.”
Ellie’s stomach flutters again. “You imagined it?”
“Well, obviously,” says Dina, her eyes brightening with amusement. “I thought I'd been making it pretty clear how I felt about you.”
Ellie frowns. “Really?”
“Was kissing you in front of the entire town not enough of a hint?” Dina teases. “To be honest, I was kind of afraid you didn’t feel the same way. You’ve never responded to any of my flirting attempts.”
Ellie’s frown deepens, her mind whirling as she tries to think back on all of their interactions together. “You’ve been flirting with me?”
Dina groans, and buries her face in Ellie’s neck. “Jesus. Never mind.”
“Well, I’m sorry,” Ellie huffs. “I just thought… You’re always so... And then you and Jesse…” she struggles to find the words to defend herself.
“You don’t have to worry about Jesse,” Dina murmurs, settling further into Ellie’s side. “We broke up for a reason. We broke up several times for a reason.”
Ellie’s heart thumps faster at the implication. “Oh,” is all she can say.
Dina’s arm loops around Ellie’s waist, and she lets out a contented sigh. Ellie reaches over to grab her jacket, covering both of their bodies with it, and then clicks the lamp off. She pulls Dina closer as she lays down, allowing their legs to tangle together. Outside, the storm continues, and it’s easy for Ellie to pretend that they’re in a little bubble of peace together, separated from the rest of the world.
“Goodnight, Ellie,” Dina whispers.
For the first time in over three months, Ellie allows a flicker of joy to clear her clouded mind.