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1.
“Oh my god. Oh my god, get off of me,” Iwaizumi groaned. He wasn’t sure what woke him up –the sudden weight on top of him or Oikawa literally prying open his eyelids- but either way, he wasn’t having it. They had practice tomorrow morning. While Oikawa could function on little to no sleep, Iwaizumi needed a full seven hours to operate.
“But Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi could hear the whine in his voice. “It’s Extraterrestrial Abduction Day. We have to go outside,” Oikawa said, before flopping on top of him like a human blanket. Lengthy limbs encircled Iwaizumi’s torso and held on tight.
He cracked one eye open.
Oikawa had peeled off his covers, but Iwaizumi couldn’t feel the cold air of his bedroom. With Oikawa on top of him like this, everything felt warm and cozy. The setter’s hair was messy with sleep, and he looked ridiculous in his rainbow striped boxers and lime green X-Files t-shirt.
Iwaizumi groaned in exhaustion and tilted his face further into his pillow. “The truth is out there,” he muttered, thinking about Oikawa’s stupid shirt.
Oikawa perked up, shifting on top of him. “Right! You’re so right, Iwa-chan, so let’s go outside and look for it!” he said, shaking his shoulders a little bit. Iwaizumi’s upper body bounced on the mattress. He groaned again but he dutifully sat up when Oikawa let go of him.
This was his own fault. Oikawa snuck into his bedroom every year on March 20th and made him go up to the roof and look at the stars; he should have remembered. “You know, most people want to avoid alien abduction. You’re the only person I know who goes looking for it,” he muttered, plucking Oikawa off his lap and throwing him to the side easily. Iwaizumi searched his room for a sweatshirt.
Oikawa snorted. He was unusually smug for someone who had literally just been thrown on the ground by someone shorter than him. “Most people are stupid,” he countered. “If aliens wanted to hurt us, they would have done it already.”
“You’re not wrong,” Iwaizumi replied. Normally, he called Oikawa out whenever the other boy said stupid things, but he was too tired and Oikawa was too passionate for him to bother. When dealing with someone as dumb as Oikawa, you had to choose your battles.
He waited patiently for Oikawa to get dressed in clothes warm enough to brave the outdoors. Iwaizumi nearly fell asleep leaning on the doorframe as Oikawa rooted through his overnight bag for his glasses. That was Iwaizumi’s first mistake: letting Oikawa sleepover. He never slept well when Oikawa was with him, but he kept saying yes anyway whenever Oikawa asked to spend the night.
Iwaizumi was reminded why when Oikawa finally found his glasses. The other boy balanced them on his nose with a smile. “Ready, Iwa-chan.”
“You’re such a dork,” he replied, but he didn’t mean it. Honestly, his heart flip-flopped in his chest whenever he looked at Oikawa with his glasses on.
It wasn’t the frames in particular that did it for Iwaizumi, although they were unbearably cute too, but it was what they implied. Oikawa made it a point to make sure no one else saw him with his glasses on. No one else got to see Oikawa look anything less than absolutely perfect. For some reason, Iwaizumi was the only person who ever had the opportunity to see Oikawa with his bedhead, his nerdy t-shirts, and his glasses.
It was terrible. Iwaizumi felt guilty for hogging Oikawa like this all to himself because a sleepy, cozy, dorky Oikawa was maybe the cutest thing to ever exist, even if Iwaizumi would rather die than admit it. He hated how adorable Oikawa looked with his hair fluffier than usual and his giant lenses taking up half of his face. His eyes looked twice as big with his glasses on, and his body looked weirdly thin and tiny in his oversized alien shirt. Iwaizumi was shorter, but Oikawa’s body was so lithe and small.
Iwaizumi choked thinking about how easy it would be to throw him over his shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry, I was just gagging over how ugly you are.”
“So mean, Iwa-chan!”
But Oikawa didn’t look mad. He looked just as adorable and content as he always did when they were alone together. Oikawa’s whole demeanor changed when he was away from their classmate’s prying eyes. And that was why Iwaizumi couldn’t say no when Oikawa asked for sleepovers. Because if he said no, then he would be missing this. And Iwaizumi wouldn’t miss this for anything.
They stomped outside in rain boots and Iwaizumi let Oikawa climb up on top of the garage first to get to the roof of the house. He followed soon after, lying down next to Oikawa and staring up at the cloudy sky above. “The weather’s not very good for an abduction,” Iwaizumi mused. He couldn’t see even a single star through the thick cloud layer.
Oikawa squirmed next to him. That was another thing. In front of everyone else, Oikawa was so confident. It wasn’t until they were by themselves that Oikawa let himself be insecure about anything. “Well… Well, what if clouds are good for like… stealth, or something? What if this is my chance and I miss my chance because it looks like rain?” he asked.
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Iwaizumi sighed, not wanting to disappoint Oikawa but not looking forward to getting stuck in the pouring rain on the roof at three in the morning. “Listen, we’ll stay out here until the storm reaches us, okay? I think it’s safe to assume that tractor beams don’t work when it’s raining.”
Oikawa’s nose twitched, and he flicked his hair off of his forehead (which would have looked a lot better if his hair was styled properly). “You don’t know that. Aliens are geniuses, they invented chess.”
“You’re kidding,” Iwaizumi deadpanned.
“No,” Oikawa replied, pulling his knees to his chest and crossing his arms over them. “The President of the World Chess Federation, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, says so himself. He was abducted September 17th in 1997,” he said factually.
Iwaizumi hummed. Once again, he was too tired and Oikawa was too passionate to argue. They sat in silence for a while, both shivering in the cold March air and waiting for the tell tale swooping noise of a space ship or the bright lights of a tractor beam. The only thing Iwaizumi could hear, though, was the sound of thunder getting louder and louder.
Iwaizumi put a hand on Oikawa’s leg, realizing that this would have to be done delicately. “Oikawa… I don’t think they’re coming,” he said gently.
Oikawa bounced his knee up and down, shaking Iwaizumi’s hand off. “Let’s just give them a couple more minutes, okay?” he asked. “You’re probably right, they won’t come. I don’t think they would know about Earth’s minor holiday dedicated to their scientific research –I think they are more interested in influencing our technology- but even so, I just… I mean…”
“You want to wait,” Iwaizumi filled in. He felt a raindrop on the back of his hand. “I understand.”
“Yeah,” Oikawa said with a nod.
The rain went from just spritzing to drizzling and from drizzling to actually raining ridiculously quickly. Thunder cracked much too closely for Iwaizumi’s liking. “Oikawa, it’s not safe to be out here any more,” he said, his hair dripping wet. Oikawa looked at him, a pout evident on his bottom lip.
“But-“
“No, we have to get inside. Besides, you’ll probably get sick from being out in this freezing rain if we’re on this roof for any longer,” Iwaizumi said, cutting Oikawa off before he could argue. It was really starting to pour now, and Iwaizumi was worried about hopping off of the garage with the rain making everything so slippery.
Oikawa opened his mouth to argue (because he always argued), but when the thunder boomed directly overhead, his mouth snapped shut. He looked at Iwaizumi with wide eyes. “Fine. But only because I want to, not because you’re telling me,” he agreed standing up carefully. Iwaizumi could have punched him –he really wanted to- but if Oikawa fell off the roof then it would take even longer for him to get back to bed.
Oikawa seemed stable enough as he climbed down off the roof, but Iwaizumi kept a steadying hand on him just to be sure. When they got into the house, he helped Oikawa shrug off his jacket. “Jeez, Iwa, you’re such a mom,” he said with an eye roll.
Iwaizumi kicked the back of Oikawa’s calf. “Only because you’re a stupid baby,” he argued. Of course, even though he sounded angry, he still threw Oikawa’s wet clothes into the wash for him and dug through his dresser drawers to find him something dry to sleep in.
All too soon, Oikawa was snuggled up in his bed, wearing his clothes, and playing on his phone.
“It’s four in the morning. Go to sleep,” Iwaizumi said, snatching his phone from Oikawa and tossing it to the other side of the room. He tried to pretend he was just frustrated with Oikawa for not taking better care of himself, instead of being upset at just how perfect Oikawa was between his sheets and in his hoodie.
“You’re a spoil sport.”
“Shut up, I’m sleeping,” Iwaizumi grumbled. He turned off the light and pulled the covers up over the pair of them. His eyes fell shut almost immediately; he was so exhausted. He had no idea how he was ever going to wake up the next morning to get to practice. He was in for a brutal awakening tomorrow.
(However, the one-hundred and fifty selfies Oikawa had taken one his phone in bed last night was enough to make it worth it.)
2.
Iwaizumi startled awake when a volleyball slammed into the wall right next to his head.
“Iwa-chan, if you’re going to stay and watch me practice, then actually watch me practice,” Oikawa demanded, while Iwaizumi gasped for breath. He gripped at his chest –trying in vain to get his heart to start beating again- and ignored the disparaging look Oikawa was giving him.
“Did you just serve a ball at my face?”
“Not at your face, just near it,” Oikawa replied haughtily while Iwaizumi still struggled to calm down. Oikawa frowned at him. “If you keep gaping like a fish, Iwa-chan, you’re going to turn into one.”
His voice was much too happy to be saying something so shitty. Iwaizumi blinked at Oikawa once. Twice. “I hate you,” he realized. “I really and actually hate you so much. I hope you die.”
Oikawa cocked one hip to the side, putting a hand on his waist. “Excuse me, I should be the one who is mad at you. You’re the one who fell asleep when you should have been paying attention to me.”
Iwaizumi checked his watch. “Oikawa it is 9:30. We’ve been here since school ended. I’m hungry. I’m tired. I fell asleep. But only because this whole evening has been insane,” he said, exasperated. Oikawa stuck his tongue out, and something inside Iwaizumi snapped. “That’s it.”
Iwaizumi leapt up from his spot sitting against the gym wall and slammed into Oikawa, arms wrapped around his waist. The setter clawed at his back and kicked his feet, but Iwaizumi had a good hold on him and Oikawa was weak from hours of practice. He hoisted the other boy onto one shoulder and started walking out of the gym, not listening to Oikawa’s pleas to put him down and let him stay for just a little bit longer.
“No. We’re going home. You need to eat something to help your muscles repair themselves,” he growled. He held Oikawa up with one arm, using the other to close the door of the gym behind him. He didn’t trouble himself with cleaning up; they had already stayed too late to bother.
“But, Hajime.”
Iwaizumi grunted, hoisting Oikawa up on his shoulder a little further. “Nope. That’s not working this time.
“Hajime.”
“No.”
Oikawa let out a frustrated groan. “Iwa-chan,” he whined. “No fair, you always crack when I use your first name.” Iwaizumi didn’t have to see Oikawa’s face to know he was pouting. He turned into a giant baby when he didn’t get his way. It drove Iwaizumi crazy.
“Not when you’re being an idiot. You of all people know that there is a difference between resting and taking a break,” he pointed out. “Also, you need to shower. And you need to eat. And you need to start on your homework so you’re not up all night again.”
“I wasn’t up all night!”
Iwaizumi scoffed. “Your crappy attitude today would say otherwise,” he argued, making sure to catch Oikawa when he kicked his feet in annoyance. Iwaizumi wouldn’t let Oikawa fall, not when he was trying to take care of him.
He managed to get them through the door of the clubroom. He sat Oikawa down on the bench. Iwaizumi was about to step away and let Oikawa get his things ready to go home, but something about the other boy’s expression made him stop. He put one hand on Oikawa’s shoulder, running a hand through his short hair.
“Unless… Were you in a bad mood because of something else?” he asked. Oikawa’s bottom lip jutted out, and he looked off to the side. “Don’t lie to me, Oikawa, you know you’re terrible at it.”
“I wasn’t in a crappy mood,” Oikawa fibbed, somehow pouting even more. “And even if I was, it was probably because you’re such a loser, Iwa-chan; it’s taxing to spend time with you. You’re exhausting.”
Iwaizumi refrained from hurting Oikawa again. Instead, he tossed a fresh t-shirt at the other boy’s lanky frame. The sooner Oikawa got dressed into something suitable, the sooner they could get home and get dinner. However, Oikawa’s limbs were clearly tired, and he moved slowly as he tried unsuccessfully to take off his sweaty clothes. The setter was too exhausted to peel off his soaked t-shirt.
Iwaizumi sighed. “Next time you want to complain about me, remember how much I do for you,” he grumbled, tugging on the hem of Oikawa’s t-shirt. His heart pounded against his ribs as his knuckles grazed bare skin.
Oikawa huffed as Iwaizumi undressed him, but apparently he was past the point of complaining. At the risk of coming off as creepy, Iwaizumi examined Oikawa closely as he crammed the neck of a clean shirt and sweatshirt over Oikawa’s head. The other boy looked tired, yes, but he also looked… sad.
Iwaizumi wasn’t good at talking about emotions. He didn’t know how to be comforting. Even now when he knew Oikawa was upset, he was forcibly shoving Oikawa’s arm into two sets of sleeves just so they could get home faster. He didn’t know how to be gentle.
Oikawa was delicate, and Iwaizumi’s lack of tenderness was a problem.
It didn’t help that Oikawa was good at hiding things, at ignoring his sensitivity and insecurity until it was too late. As his best friend, Iwaizumi should be able to tell when Oikawa was reaching his limit and pull him back from the edge. However, most of the time, Iwaizumi didn’t say anything helpful at all until Oikawa had already been crying for a good half hour.
“Oikawa,” he grunted, getting the other boy to look at him. He was sweaty –his usual perfect hair plastered to his forehead- but he still looked perfect to Iwaizumi. “Even if you were in a bad mood, you know that would be okay, right?”
Oikawa blinked. He seemed hesitant. It was weird to see the other boy so subdued, and Iwaizumi knew it was only because he was tired. Oikawa was quick to crash whenever Iwaizumi pulled him off the court. A smirk graced the younger boy’s lips. “Iwa-chan, you worry too much.”
“Says the kid who can’t even put a shirt on.” He held out a pair of shorts for Oikawa. “You’re on your own with the pants.”
Oikawa changed while Iwaizumi glared, waiting for a proper answer to his question. Oikawa looked up at him after buttoning his pants –seemingly satisfied with a job well done- and jumped back when he saw the ace watching him. “Geez, yes, okay? I know it’s okay to be in a bad mood!” he yelped, stomping his foot like a toddler.
“Fine,” Iwaizumi grunted, but the word didn’t sit right in his stomach.
Oikawa was lying again.
3.
Iwaizumi woke up slowly to the sound of whispering. It was still dark. Everyone should still be asleep. Practice camp was grueling, yes, but not even the coaches dared to wake Iwaizumi up before sunrise, not on his one week to sleep in.
He blinked his eyes open blearily, barely making out the sight of three figures hunched over his bag. Laughter reached his ears, and Iwaizumi immediately recognized it as Oikawa’s.
Oikawa was crouching over his bag.
With accomplices.
This couldn’t be good.
Iwaizumi’s eyes adjusted to the dark, and he recognized Hanamakki and Mattsun as the other two people going through his stuff. Traitors. “Okay, okay, so what are we freezing?” Mattsun asked, holding up Iwaizumi’s last pair of clean socks. “These?”
“Dude, that would be more of a punishment for us, than Iwaizumi. I don’t want to smell his dirty socks when he’s only worn them once. Can you imagine what it would be like if he had to wear a pair twice?” Hanamakki asked. He pulled a face, crinkling his nose and sticking his tongue out. If Iwaizumi wasn’t half a sleep still, he would have punched the look right off of Hanamakki’s stupid face.
Oikawa frowned and dug further into Iwaizumi’s suitcase. Iwaizumi could pinpoint the exact second the other boy found what he was looking for. His eyes widened. His hands stilled. Oikawa looked up, flipping his already perfect hair into an even more perfect position. “Guys, I’ve got it,” Oikawa said. A Cheshire grin crept up his face as he pulled out a pair of briefs, printed with tiny dinosaurs.
Oikawa knew those were his favorite.
“Put it back, Shitty-kawa,” Iwaizumi moaned from his futon. It was too early in the morning to deal with his friends conspiring against him. If they wanted to make him angry, they should at least be considerate enough to do it in broad daylight.
Oikawa immediately let out a whine. “Iwa-chan! You’re not supposed to wake up, go back to sleep!” he demanded. Several first-years stirred under their blankets.
“You go back to sleep. It’s-“ Iwaizumi reached blindly for his phone. He squinted to read the brightly lit screen. “Three in the morning. You guys all have practice tomorrow.”
Mattsun and Hanamakki at least had the decency to look sheepish, but they were still on Iwaizumi’s hate list, and Iwaizumi didn’t forgive without revenge. “To be fair, it’s not like we could have stolen your underwear when you were awake. It kind of had to be late at night,” Mattsun pointed out before a smirk took over his expression. The middle blocker’s demeanor changed almost instantly as he played with the collar of his tank top suggestively. “Unless, maybe we asked nicely,” he mused. The lewd grin on the other boy’s face made Iwaizumi feel sick.
“You’re disgusting.”
“Does that mean we could have just asked nicely?” Hanamakki asked, his eyes fixing into some kind of filthy expression. Iwaizumi glared.
“No.”
“Iwa-chan, you ruin everything,” Oikawa spoke up, still moping. “This is our last training camp, tomorrow is the last day, and I still haven’t pranked anybody. Have some common courtesy and go back to sleep so we can freeze your underwear.”
“Let me repeat what I said earlier: No,” Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa pouted, and Iwaizumi took pity on him. “Freeze Yabaha’s; he won’t mind.”
“I will, too, mind!” said a sleepy voice to his right. Oikawa’s frown deepened further, and Iwaizumi lifted his head up just to slam it back down on his pillow (Oikawa’s dramatics were rubbing off on him).
“Iwa-chan.”
“Oikawa, it won’t even be a prank if I let you do it,” Iwaizumi pointed out. He decidedly avoided looking at Oikawa’s face. Lately, every time Oikawa frowned, Iwaizumi ended up caving and giving him whatever he wanted. And not even subtly at that, the whole team teased him for giving into Oikawa’s every whim. If he let the other boy freeze his underwear, he would never hear the end of it.
“But please?”
God, even hearing him be sad could break Iwaizumi’s reserve. He buried his face in his pillow. “We never had this conversation,” he replied before pulling the covers up over his head.
He ignored the rest of the team’s snickers, and instead focused solely on Oikawa’s yelp of delight. With how sad Oikawa had been lately, Iwaizumi could deal with a frozen pair of briefs if it meant cheering him up.
4.
Iwaizumi was slowly realizing how much sleep he has lost because of Oikawa.
It was well past midnight, when Iwaizumi woke up to the sound of his cellphone ringing. Normally, he would blame himself for not turning his phone to silent before falling asleep or for leaving it too close to his head, but honestly, the only thing he did wrong was chose Oikawa as a friend.
He answers the call, regardless. “Moshi moshi,” he said, yawning through the words. “What do you want?”
“What makes you think I want something, Hajime?” Oikawa replied.
Iwaizumi sat up in bed, running a hand through his hair. “Well, first, you’re using my first name,” he listed, “And second, it’s well past my bedtime, and you know it. You’d better not be calling me just to talk.”
“Well… Well, what if the thing I want is just to talk?”
Iwaizumi blinked once. “I’m hanging up,” he decided, his finger hovering over the “End Call” button before Oikawa’s frantic voice caught his attention.
“Wait, wait, wait, don’t do that. Just… I don’t know, I haven’t talked to you lately, you know? I miss you; don’t hang up the phone,” the younger begged. He sounded… weirdly desperate. On Oikawa’s emotional scale (which bottomed out with “whiney and emotional” and topped off with “cool and collected,” and didn’t have much in between), desperate didn’t fit in. It was enough to keep Iwaizumi on the line.
“Okay, okay, don’t worry, I’m here,” he replied. He didn’t miss the long huff of air Oikawa puffed out, like he had been holding his breath. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Oikawa lied. Iwaizumi didn’t need to see him; he knew he was lying.
“Tooru.”
“I said I’m fine, Iwa-chan. Using my first name isn’t going to change anything,” he complained. And there it was: the whiney emotional Oikawa. He would never admit it –he’d sooner kill himself than share his thoughts with Mattsun or Hanamakki- but usually when Oikawa called him “Iwa-chan” in his tiny little voice, Iwaizumi thought it was cute. However, sometimes, it took a lot of effort on Iwaizumi’s part to be endeared by the other boy’s childish behaviors instead of angry to the point of ripping out his friend’s throat.
Be endeared, be endeared, he reminded himself. “So you’re just calling because you miss me?” he asked, playing it safe with a subject change.
“Yeah.” Oikawa’s voice sounded weaker than usual, small. It set off another red flag in Iwaizumi’s brain. First desperate, now this.
“Oikawa, you saw me just a few hours ago,” Iwaizumi reminded him gently. His voice was as gruff as ever, but at least the intention was there. He had to continually remind himself that Oikawa was delicate. He had to be fragile.
“Right, but… But…”
“But?” Iwaizumi prompted.
“But I wish you were here right now, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa admitted. The words practically spilled out of him. “I really do, you know? It’s so hard without you here, and I thought maybe just talking on the phone could be enough. Even if you just want to yell at me for being up so late when we have practice so early. I’ll let you yell at me if you just stay on the phone. I just really, really want you to stay on the phone.”
Iwaizumi sat up straight, alarmed by how frantic Oikawa seemed. “Oikawa, what’s going on?”
“Nothi-“
“No, Tooru. What’s going on?” Oikawa was silent over the line. Iwaizumi felt like his heart could beat out of his chest at any moment. “This isn’t a game, Oikawa, you need to talk to me.”
“Can’t you just talk to me?” Oikawa said meekly. “I don’t want to talk about it, I just want you to talk to me.”
“Tooru, come on-“
“I’m in a bad mood, okay, Hajime?” Oikawa replied quickly, before Iwaizumi could decide if he wanted to say anything else or not. “You said that… that it would be okay if I was in a bad mood. So that’s all. It’s okay.” Oikawa was breathing through his nose. “Now, I called you for a distraction, so… Distract me.”
Iwaizumi’s slowly lay back on his pillows. “Okay,” he agreed. He was still worried, but Oikawa sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Iwaizumi couldn’t push him when he was already distressed like this. Remember, he’s fragile. “Did you finish your homework before you called? Or are you going to be up even later doing that?”
Oikawa laughed self-deprecatingly over the line. “That was distraction number one,” he said, forced happiness muddying up his words.
Iwaizumi hummed, at least pleased to know that Oikawa could go to sleep as soon as he had calmed down. “That’s good. You’ve gotta put your studies first if you want to go into astronomy one day,” he said quietly, remembering his sleeping parents in the next room.
Oikawa made an excited noise, and Iwaizumi smirked. If there was one thing that could cheer Oikawa up, it was talking about space. “Don’t worry, I’d never do anything to mess up that dream,” Oikawa promised. “I’m going to get to look through telescopes every day until I’m old and grumpy, like you.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just insult me because I don’t think you’re in a position for me to be making fun of you,” Iwaizumi said, not sugarcoating the situation at all. He winced at his harsh words. What about being gentle did he not understand? He coughed into his hand and quickly switched the subject before Oikawa could reply. “So are you in bed, then? All snuggled up in your disturbing ET sheets?”
“Oi, ET isn’t disturbing. He’s cute, and you’re a jerk,” Oikawa replied. The lilt to his voice said he was feeling better, but Iwaizumi didn’t dare get off the phone.
“He’s wrinkly.”
“But being wrinkly doesn’t make you creepy!”
“No, but sleeping in sheets printed with a scary alien face all over them certainly does,” he said sassily. Oikawa made a whining noise into the receiver.
“They were a present, and you know that! My grandma got them for me! She’s a nice lady, and she was very thoughtful to get me such a useful and cute present,” Oikawa said obstinately. This wasn’t the first time they had this argument, but it was always funny to Iwaizumi. He could picture Oikawa now: snuggled into his ET sheets in a nerdy t-shirt with his big glasses.
“Hey, what are you wearing?” Iwaizumi asked without thinking. He blushed immediately afterwards.
He could practically hear the sly smirk slip up Oikawa’s face. Cool and collected Oikawa: Achieved. “Hm? Why do you want to know?”
Iwaizumi buried his head under his comforter. “Ugh, don’t be like that.” He wished he could punch Oikawa through the phone to cover up how awkward he felt. “I was just wondering if you had your glasses on or not and what stupid t-shirt you were wearing.”
“Once again,” Oikawa said, his voice just as slimy as before. “Why do you want to know?”
“I don’t know, it’s just funny to think about you when you’re not all… put together,” Iwaizumi replied honestly. He didn’t want to keep lying to Oikawa. If he was going to yell at Tooru for lying at him, he was going to have to be honest himself. “Thinking about it kind of makes me wish you were here, too.”
Oikawa’s breath hitched. There was a beat of silence between them before Oikawa spoke again. “I am wearing my glasses,” he said. The words felt heavy. “But I’m taking them off now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m hoping talking to you will make me fall asleep, so I’m lying down.”
Iwaizumi bit his bottom lip. “I hope it does, too,” he said sincerely. He played with the edge of his comforter, thinking. “I know I worry too much, but it’s been making me really nervous, how late you’ve been staying up lately,” he admitted. “I don’t like how much you’ve been pushing yourself. It’s like I’m watching you get to the end of your rope.”
“I just have a lot to do,” Oikawa replied. “I want to get better at volleyball because I have to go to a big school to study astrology, and I need a scholarship to do that, and it has to be a good scholarship, but the bigger the school, the harder it is to get money for sports, especially if you’re not any good.”
“But Oikawa, you’re great at volleyball.”
“But our… Our team isn’t. Or, I mean, it is, but not good enough for nationals, so there’s no guarantee that I’ll get noticed by any scouts.”
“Our team is great, too,” he pointed out. They were second best in the prefecture. They hadn’t been to nationals in awhile, but several colleges had already contacted Iwaizumi, and he knew schools talked to Oikawa, too. There were always strangers watching their practices and talking to them after tournaments.
“We almost lost to Karasuno.”
“Karasuno is also a great team,” Iwaizumi said. “Colleges can recognize who has talent based on more than just who does and doesn’t go to nationals. It’s all relative.”
Oikawa made a whimpering noise. A warning flare flashed through Iwaizumi’s brain, and his hand tightened around his phone. “Iwa-chan, this isn’t a distraction anymore, this is just making my mood worse.”
“No, come on, don’t let that happen,” Iwaizumi said, blatantly refusing the idea of Oikawa feeling worse because of something he did. “You’re okay, yeah? You’re in your gross ET sheets on the phone with me. Nothing else matters.”
“… Well, you’re not wrong,” Oikawa agreed begrudgingly, but Iwaizumi could hear the smile back in his voice. It was enough to stop him from panicking. He was two seconds from throwing on his shoes and storming over to Oikawa’s house despite how late it was.
“Just focus on lying down. Try to keep your muscles relaxed, they’ve been tense all day, I bet.”
Oikawa laughed again, and –again- it was full of self-loathing. Iwaizumi hated how he was starting to associate the feeling with Oikawa. “Again, you’re not wrong,” he setter snorted.
“Of course not,” Iwaizumi replied easily, staring up at his ceiling. “Just take it easy. There’s nothing worth worrying about right now. It’s just you, me, and the glow and the dark stars in your bedroom.”
“And in your bedroom,” Oikawa pointed out. Iwaizumi smiled as he looked to the constellations Oikawa had plotted out on his bedroom walls.
“Well those are more your handiwork, not mine.”
“Hm.”
Iwaizumi closed his eyes for a second. “You sound sleepy.”
“No, I’m not,” Oikawa replied, but he was talking through a yawn. Iwaizumi didn’t answer for a few minutes, trying to give Oikawa the space to fall asleep if he wanted to. After a little while, Oikawa’s voice cracked through his tinny phone speakers again. “Iwa-chan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to pass out.”
“Okay.”
“I really am sleepy.”
“Okay.”
“But don’t hang up, okay? Your phone’s plugged in, right? Can you… can you just leave it on until I’m asleep?” Oikawa asked, his voice hitched in ways that it shouldn’t be. Iwaizumi felt his heart clench up. The request was codependent in ways that scared him, but when Oikawa was this upset, Iwaizumi couldn’t find the will to deny him anything.
“I’ll stay on the line for another half hour. If you’re not asleep, just talk to me,” he offered, reaching beneath his bed for a manga to read in the mean time. Oikawa made a satisfied noise over the line.
“Okay… Goodnight, Iwaizumi.”
“Goodnight, Oikawa.”
5.
“Iwa-chan… Iwa-chan, wake up,” Oikawa cooed. Iwaizumi cracked open one eye. His cheek was smushed against his desk, and he realized grumpily that he’d fallen asleep studying.
Oikawa was across from him, his head also lying on the desk as he stared at Iwaizumi. His eyes looked bigger than usual, and his hair looked a little more windswept than he was used to seeing it. Iwaizumi liked it this way. He also liked the fingers Oikawa was gently carding through his hair, gently waking him up.
“Iwa-chan, you fell asleep.”
“Mmmm.”
“Iwa-chan, you’re going to get a crick in your neck if you don’t at least move to your bed.”
“Mmmm.”
“Okay, five more minutes,” Oikawa agreed, and Iwaizumi could feel himself nodding off already. He could hear himself snoring, which was just as disorienting as it sounded. But what was somehow more disconcerting was the feeling of Oikawa’s fingers carefully combing through his hair, and how much Iwaizumi liked it. He thought of Oikawa’s hands as he fell back to sleep.
+1
“Can please stay on the line again, Hajime? I know, it’s weird, but I just-“
“I understand,” Iwaizumi replied, biting hard on his tongue. He needed to stop indulging Oikawa like this. It didn’t matter if Iwaizumi took care of him or not if he never learned how to cope with whatever problems he was having. If they didn’t talk about what was going on, Oikawa would never feel better about it. But of course, Iwaizumi was weak when it came to his best friend, and hearing his weary voice made him want to give Oikawa everything he asked for. “You go to sleep. I’ll hang up in a half hour or so. If I click off and you’re still awake, just call me back.”
“Okay,” Oikawa agreed. He sounded so small. Not for the first time, Iwaizumi’s heart swelled at the thought of Oikawa in bed. On the court, Oikawa was this big, intimidating presence. But in bed, he was all soft edges and loose clothing.
“Okay. Goodnight, Oikawa.”
“Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi listened as Oikawa’s breathing grew slower and slower over the line. He toyed absently with the corner of his pillow.
This situation was wrong for multiple reasons. First and foremost, Oikawa was keeping secrets from Iwaizumi, which Iwaizumi did not appreciate at all. He was tired of worrying about Oikawa, about how Oikawa was doing, about how Oikawa felt, about whether or not Oikawa was telling him the truth. It was scary.
Second, Oikawa had clearly started to doubt himself. Frankly, it was ridiculous. Oikawa was perfect; everything about him was perfect. There was no reason for him to be insecure, and yet he had been so down lately. It didn’t make any sense.
Third, Oikawa shouldn’t need Iwaizumi to go to sleep. He should be able to do it on his own.
Fourth, Oikawa shouldn’t have to sleep on his own. Iwaizumi should be there with him, holding him. Their legs should be tangled up in Oikawa’s ugly ET sheets, and Iwaizumi should be kissing Oikawa’s head until it stopped making him feel bad about himself. They should be together right now. They fought problems better when they were working as a pair. Oikawa shouldn’t be battling through anything on his own. They should be together.
“Oikawa,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Oikawa made a soft, sleepy noise over the line, and Iwaizumi realized he had woken him up.
“Iwa-?”
Iwaizumi bit his bottom lip and looked up at the glow and the dark stars on his ceiling. They weren’t special. Every kid had these in their room growing up, it didn’t mean anything that he had them, too. But not every kid had their stars carefully arranged into Aquarius, and Sagittarius, and Aquila. Not every kid had their stars put up by Oikawa. “I’m coming over,” he decided.
“What?!”
“Don’t worry about it. I know where your spare key is; you don’t even have to get up,” he promised, stuffing his feet into shoes before he could back out. “I’ll be there in two minutes.”
“Iwa-chan, I told you, it’s nothing. You don’t have to come over. I was just going to sleep, honest,” Oikawa sputtered, while Iwaizumi shrugged on his jacket.
“I believe you,” he promised. Oikawa ‘humphed’ over the line. “No, I believe you, I do. But I don’t care if you need to see me or whatever. Right now, I’m the one who really needs to see you.”
The early spring air hit Iwaizumi’s cheeks when opened his door, and he hunched inwards to keep warm. Oikawa’s place was two houses down across the street, so the walk wasn’t long. He was already there, even if Oikawa didn’t seem happy about it.
Oikawa snorted. “You’re being weird.”
“Shut up. I’m coming in,” Iwaizumi replied, hanging up the phone. He fished the Oikawas’ key out from under their welcome mat and let himself into the house. He didn’t realize just how anxious he was to see Oikawa until he was taking the steps two at a time.
When he entered Oikawa’s bedroom, the other boy was sitting up, glasses on and glaring.
“You’re a freak,” Oikawa said angrily, but Iwaizumi ignored him. The only thing he could think about were the tearstains on Oikawa’s cheeks, and how small his shoulders looked when he was wearing his pajamas. He didn’t even pause over the threshold of Oikawa’s bedroom, just walked straight in and swept the other boy up into a hug. “What are you doing? This is so weird,” Oikawa said. Iwaizumi’s t-shirt muffled his voice.
“Shut up,” Iwaizumi repeated. “You’re such a brat. Just let me hug you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.” Iwaizumi let Oikawa pull away from him the slightest bit. “I don’t care if your sad or not… Although, you are clearly upset right now.” He thumbed away one of Oikawa’s tears. “I just want to hug you, like… all of the time. I’m doing this for me.”
Oikawa looked confused. His nose was slightly red from crying, and it took everything Iwaizumi had not to kiss it. He hated how irrational Oikawa made him feel; he hated the way his chest seized up when Oikawa palmed the last of his tear tracks from his face, nudging his glasses up in the process. “For you?” Oikawa asked, lost.
“Right,” Iwaizumi answered. “Not everyone does everything with you in mind, Shitty-kawa, don’t be so self-centered.”
“Okay, now I know you’re not just trying to cheer me up, that was a shitty thing to say.”
“C’mon, I got you all riled up, let’s get you lying down again,” Iwaizumi replied, ignoring Oikawa’s trash reply. He didn’t let Oikawa wiggle out of his arms as they lay down on his bed. He did, however, let the other boy pull his sheets up over them. Fortunately, they were his plain blue ones, so Iwaizumi didn’t have to feel grossed out by all the wrinkly alien heads touching him. The only head touching him now was Oikawa’s, tucked up under his chin even though Iwaizumi was shorter. “You’re okay,” Iwaizumi said, rubbing Oikawa’s back. “Don’t worry, you’re okay.”
It was either the right or the wrong thing to say because Oikawa’s tears started back up as soon as Iwaizumi spoke again. He was still the ugly crier Iwaizumi remembered him being. He watched, worried, as Oikawa sobbed into his t-shirt. He sounded like he was gagging.
“You’re okay, don’t you worry. You’re alright,” Iwaizumi promised.
Oikawa was clearly embarrassed to be crying in front of anyone. His cheeks were bright pink, like he was flushed with a fever, and Iwaizumi played with his hair in an effort to help him calm down. He cradled the younger boy closer. “You’re okay. You’re okay, you’re alright.”
Oikawa choked a little on snot and tears as he tried to speak. “I’m… I’m…”
“You’re okay. You’re okay, you’re great,” Iwaizumi promised. His voice was still rougher than he wanted, but he felt like he was getting a handle on this whole “gentle” thing. “You’re great, and I love you.”
“Wha-“
Iwaizumi cut Oikawa off by kissing his nose. He’d been thinking about doing it since he’d walked into the room; although, that was before it started running again. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about anything, just calm down.”
Oikawa sat up a bit. His eyes widened. They looked massive behind his lenses, and Iwaizumi reached up to pluck them off the other boy’s face. He put his glasses on the bedside table while a slow smile stretched across Oikawa’s face. “You love me, huh?”
Iwaizumi scoffed. “Don’t act surprised.”
“Right,” Oikawa agreed, collapsing on Iwaizumi’s chest. “For what it’s worth, I love you, too.”
Iwaizumi shifted, pulling Oikawa into a more comfortable position. He couldn’t tell if Oikawa was light, or if his arms had just gotten stronger since they were kids and Iwaizumi was still dragging him around by the ankle most of the time. He hummed. “I know. You’re terrible at being discrete about it; you hang off of me too much.”
“I’m not as bad as you! You spoil me rotten.”
“Well, anyone would spoil you rotten. You’re impossible to say no to, you’re too deserving,” Iwaizumi promised, threading his fingers back through Oikawa’s hair. He didn’t miss the way the other boy stiffened with the comment. “Hey, no doubting yourself when I’m here,” he demanded. He could feel Oikawa’s blush through his t-shirt.
“I’m just-“
“Perfect,” Iwaizumi filled in. “You’re right. You’re just perfect.”
Oikawa laughed a little, but his fingers still tightened insecurely on Iwaizumi’s t-shirt. “You really love me, huh? You weren’t lying?”
Iwaizumi tilted his head to look down at the boy lying on his chest. He thought back to running around outside with a tiny Oikawa, hunting for cicadas. Even back then, Iwaizumi would indulge Oikawa’s every demand, from making little bug fortresses to naming the beetles they caught. He smiled. “Tooru… Of course, I love you.”
(Oikawa wakes Iwaizumi up in the morning by nuzzling into his neck and suggesting they skip morning practice, despite being the captain and vice captain. Iwaizumi agrees because Oikawa usually takes sleep away from him rather than giving him a few extra hours. Iwaizumi will take what he can get.
Especially when it’s from Oikawa.)