Chapter Text
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"It was common knowledge by now that at birth, a mark would be placed upon the skin of every child that would dictate their partner in life.
It began in the late 1800s—or at least, that was when documents discussing it were first discovered—and it wasn't uncommon to find that a bond had been broken. For the most part, this was due to the untimely death of one half, often before they had even crossed paths; an outcome that seemed, in some inexplicable way, even more tragic than meeting and losing each other afterward.
But other times, a bond was broken because of the rejection of the other half. If this happened, it was said to be a pain that was unimaginable and many would prefer to have had their bond broken through death than through the emotional torture it brought. Which was why Elizabeth Groves kept herself covered - "
"That's enough now, Kageyama, thank you," Looking up at his teacher, Kageyama slowly sat back at his desk and placed the book down, watching as she chose someone else to read the rest of the page. She then quizzed them all on the topic, about the character Elizabeth and how she felt about having a bond with a person who despised her.
Kageyama wrote in one word answers mainly, scrawling that she felt 'sad' or 'heartbroken' before doodling in the margin and drawing Elizabeth as she was described to be, with her soulmate mark becoming a volleyball over her forearm instead of the ‘swirl of purple and red’ that it was meant to be.
The bell rang a few minutes later but the teacher held them back for a few extra minutes to tell them that their classwork would go toward an English assignment now, to test their understanding of both the story and the English language itself.
Kageyama winced as he glanced down at his messy, barely finished work, and hurriedly stuffed it into his exercise book before she could notice and keep him behind even more. He’d just try to read the book himself when he got home, it wasn’t as though he’d had trouble following it; maybe Tsukishima's way of teaching really was rubbing off on him, though of course he'd never tell him that.
Heading out to the gym after the teacher officially dismissed them, he changed quickly, nodding at Kiyoko when she glanced up at him as he entered their shared room.
He waited until she was gone as usual, pretending that he was going to warm up a little before doing it properly in the gym with the others, before picking out a bandaid from his bag and sticking it over his inner thigh. He pulled his shorts down to cover it, the bandage covering his soulmate mark effectively anyhow but he always liked to be sure, and then he was running out of the room and toward the gym to avoid being late.
Covering his mark had become a habit of his since his second year of Kitaiichi, and regardless of how the rumors of him being an undesirable made him feel, he'd much rather that than the truth. Even so, because of his bitterness over anything to do with 'having-a-soulmate', his classmates often whispered that it was due to him not having one in the first place, and though the truth of it was something that no one but he and his 'soulmate' knew, it still weighed on him almost daily.
Stepping into the gym, he half expected to see everyone else warming up already, even if he was only 2 minutes behind, but instead they were crowding around Hinata like fans to a celebrity. Ignoring his mood, curiosity bit him, and he joined them.
"Wow!" Tanaka was crowing, grinning, and when Kageyama came a little closer he managed to see just why, "How lucky!"
Hinata's soulmate mark, usually a blur of orange and white over his collarbone, had become a lot clearer than it had ever been before and there was now a mix of pink and blue within it as well. Kageyama stared, his mood twisting all the more and suddenly he found it hard to swallow.
Hinata's face was pure joy in contrast; he'd found his person. He was complete.
"Who is it?" Asahi asked, tying his hair back as he spoke.
"An omega on my street!" Hinata beamed as he answered, his smile blindingly bright, "He moved in yesterday and when we met, it just happened! We're having dinner today with their family to talk about it!"
Daichi pat Hinata on the back, in congratulations, "That really is lucky then, good for you," He smiled, "Most people never even meet their soulmate at this age, you've got a lot of time together."
If it were even possible, Hinata's smile brightened and he nodded vigorously, before noticing Kageyama standing a little way off from them and waving.
"Kageyama!" He puffed his chest out, pointing at his mark, "Check it out!"
"Yeah, I see it," Kageyama muttered, trying hard not to let his ugly mood show over his face but that proved to be impossible when Hinata's face was reminding him of a very similar and very painful memory of his own, "Cool."
"It's more than cool!" Hinata insisted, touching his mark with wonder.
Kageyama stretched his arms above his head, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, well, don't get too happy. It can still darken."
Hinata blinked, "What?"
"Hey," Tanaka turned to Kageyama, frowning.
"Darker marks are only if you've been rejected," Yamaguchi said from where he was standing, one of the only ones actually warming up, "Hinata's has cleared."
"Yeah," Hinata shouted, "It's not - "
"It can still darken, dumbass, you don't even know this omega," Kageyama turned away to start warming up himself, bending over to stretch his legs this time, "He can still reject you before you've bonded."
"Kageyama," Daichi was frowning now too and he realised that he'd failed in keeping his stupid thoughts over this subject in check, "That's enough. Hinata's got every reason to be happy right now, let's leave it at that."
"It's okay Daichi-san," Hinata was glaring at Kageyama now, "Kageyama's just jealous that he doesn't have a soulmate mark in the first place."
Kageyama stiffened at that but before their argument could escalate, Ukai came inside and the rest of them began their warm-ups together as well. Hinata distanced himself from him whilst they did, however, only close whenever they practiced their quick, acting cold and off with him the entire time.
Kageyama took it and told himself he didn't care.
But whether it was his imagination or not, the darkened mark over his own inner thigh felt as though it was burning through practice and he felt numb when the adrenaline from playing seeped away.
By the time their practice was over, it was dark outside from winter hours and Hinata immediately ran away to go and get his bike. They usually walked some of the way home together but considering today's tension that was unlikely, so Kageyama started to head out himself instead.
"Oi, Bakayama!" Running toward him with his bike, Hinata ignored the way Takeda tried to shush his shouting and caught up with him easily, especially since Kageyama had frozen at his call anyway, "You can't just leave without saying sorry!"
Kageyama blinked down at him, his hands in his pockets and he pursed his lips, "I didn't say anything wrong."
Hinata shoved him and he almost staggered from surprise before shoving him back, "I know he can still reject me, idiot. But you didn't have to be such a jerk about it."
"... I wasn't trying to be," Kageyama looked away, sighing and watching as his breath became white mist in the cold air, "Sorry," He then mumbled.
"Huh?" Hinata grinned, coming closer, "What did you say?" Kageyama smacked the back of his head but that only made him laugh, "Okay, okay. I'm sorry too."
He startled, genuinely, "For what?"
"For what I said about you not having a soulmate, duh," Hinata gripped his bike's handles and they began walking together down the street, "That was mean of me."
He really did look like he felt guilty for saying it too. Kageyama couldn't help but feel a little warmed by it, but instead he just shrugged, "It's not like it isn't true," He lied.
"So?" Hinata looked up at him, "I'm still sorry."
They didn't talk the rest of the way and only walked in companionable silence but when they finally reached the corner that they usually parted at, Hinata turned to go and his hoodie pulled back as he moved. He glanced down at his mark, now it was unintentionally on show again, looking undeniably pleased, and Kageyama felt something boiling hot rise inside him.
He remembered once himself, younger than they both were now, looking down in horror as the swirl of earthy green over his skin had curled into a dark purple and black; mashed into something resembling an ugly bruise rather than the once lovely splash of colour that it had always been before.
"Hey," He nudged Hinata's shoulder, waiting until he was looked at, "Good luck with your dinner tomorrow."
Hinata's bright grin returned and he straightened, "Thanks!" And with that, he rode away on his bike, waving at Kageyama as he went.
With him gone, the street seemed colder and Kageyama walked the rest of the way with his head down and his eyes stinging.
As he neared his house, however, there was the usual gang of alphas that sat around the benches in the area and he sighed, not looking forward to interacting with them tonight at all. He fingered around in his pocket for his keys and tried to get past without an incident this time but unfortunately, the jangle of his keys caught their attention.
"Hey, it's the high schooler!" One of them jumped off of the bench, standing a little too close for comfort, "Out a little late, aren't you?"
His mother had always told him not to speak back to them and to just walk away, which he always did and he always managed to get inside before anything more was said or done but this time his path was blocked and he felt like the universe was somehow punishing him with an awful day.
"What's in the bag, cheerleader outfit?"
He glared, stepping to the side to avoid him but another jumped down as well then and she seemed to stand a little closer than the other. He could feel his heart beating faster in his chest and he gripped his keys tighter.
"Relax dude, we're not hurting you, what do you look so scared for?"
"Get out of my way."
"Rude."
"Get out of my WAY!"
"Alright fine! Jeez," Putting his hands up, the first alpha took a step to the side and back, letting him pass, "See, we can be nice. No need to be so defensive."
Kageyama looked between them all before taking the chance and quickly walking by their group. He jumped over his gate instead of waiting to open it too and unlocked the door to his house with shaking hands. Turning back before he went inside, he saw the alphas sitting back at the benches as if nothing had happened, laughing together and sharing a box of pizza between them.
They seemed like a group of good friends and yet it was because of them that he hated to be out on his street at night.
He sighed again, dropping his bag by the door and locking it behind him, "... Mama?" She didn't answer when he called and when he walked further into the house, he realised that she wasn't home yet anyway. Great.
With nothing in the oven or on the stove, he made himself a sandwich and went upstairs to get started on his homework, wanting to spend more time over the weekend practicing volleyball than studying but also not wanting to panic over the sunday because he had too much to do instead.
Before he could even start his work, however, he was distracted by his phone blinking and checked his notifications instead.
Home sfe? Was a single text from Hinata.
That same warm feeling from before filled him as he replied with an affirmative and he shook his head at himself.
Despite being teammates, he felt as though he and Hinata had only really become friends after their fight in Tokyo and he didn't really know how he was supposed to act now. Hinata seemed to irritatingly become nervous or suspicious if he acted nice and their friendship never seemed to suffer much with how they usually behaved.
But something new that had arisen with them had been when Hinata had learned about the group of alphas that usually sat near his house. He'd been invited around for the weekend and had seen how they always behaved first hand, especially when they'd decided that he wasn't worth more than a 'you're choosing this shortass over us?' and had laughed when he'd gotten annoyed.
Since then, he'd checked in everyday around the same time, to make sure that Kageyama was okay, and despite him being unable to even do something about it if he wasn't, it still felt nice to see that someone really cared.
He wondered if their friendship would still be the same when Hinata and his soulmate became official.
Yeah I am. Thanks, He replied, ignoring the part of him that seemed to find negativity in everything.
Pulling out his english workbook, he then opened up the book to look for the pages that the teacher had recommended, to help them with their assignment. Elizabeth's sad face in the cover stared out at him and he immediately turned to one of the last pages, where she apparently seemed to find a happy ending for herself.
His own rejected mark felt as though it was stinging and he glared, shoving off his shorts and ripping off the bandaid with an angry swipe.
The mark didn't look that much different but it somehow seemed to hurt whenever he thought about his bond. It plagued him and he hated that because he doubted Oikawa ever even thought about it.
Thinking about that only seemed to only hurt more, however.
He sighed, slamming the book shut and deciding to go to sleep early instead. So much for studying, he'd likely panic on sunday anyway.
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Kitaiichi had seemed like such an amazing place to him in his first year. Oikawa Tooru had been the reason why most of the time. He'd been one of the most skilled people he'd ever met, with the way he played and assessed every team member using such exceptional skill.
He'd only wished that he'd be able to be a player on the court with him one day, but with his goal was to be the starting-setter as well, he'd likely never be on at the same time as Oikawa. So he'd contented himself with watching and learning from him instead.
Those days, he'd not really had many concerns and he now knew how oblivious he'd been to the many aspects of Oikawa's personality and mind.
In Junior high there had only been a few omegas on the team but none of them were first years like him, apart from Kunimi, so they'd usually come into the omega's changing room together and stayed in the corner to change into their sports clothes.
That day, however, Kunimi had been sick and he hadn't been in school all day so it’d been unlikely that he'd be at practice too. Kageyama had fiddled with his shirt uncomfortably before practice, not looking forward to being alone in a room full of older omegas and unfortunately, probably because of his self-consciousness, he hadn't paid attention to himself as he usually would have when he'd opened the door to come inside.
The first thing that had hit him then had been that the smell in the room was a lot different than he’d been used to and when he'd finally realised why, he’d noticed what he was actually looking at.
Oikawa had had one leg in his shorts, his boxers low on his hips and his shirt off and he was staring at him with an eyebrow raised. There’d been a dark blue smudge of colour over his stomach, just above his crotch, and as Kageyama had stared back he’d watched as an earthy green joined it and as the colour cleared into swirls instead.
Oikawa had glanced down at his mark, noticing it changing as well and it was then that Kageyama had realised what he was doing. His cheeks had bloomed red and he’d jumped, quickly turning and running out of the alphas changing room and hurrying into the omegas, trying to hide his embarrassment by changing extra fast.
Oikawa had watched him when he'd stepped onto the court, holding a ball in both hands and - had glared at him. Kageyama had blinked in confusion at first, before deciding that he’d probably every right to be angry. He had walked in on him changing and had, instead of leaving, rudely stared and then run away without even apologising.
So with that in mind, he’d decided to try and apologise for it afterward but the idea had just embarrassed him further and he’d ended up pushing himself into warming up instead. Now, he wondered if that apology would have been accepted anyway.
It had taken until the end of their practice, when the gym had been practically empty besides Oikawa and Iwaizumi, that he'd felt like he had the courage to approach him.
Oikawa had been serving balls over the net at the time and hadn't even looked at him until he’d cleared his throat and bowed slightly.
"Um," He remembered glancing at Iwaizumi but back then he'd thought that he’d been much too far away to hear their conversation, hopefully, and Oikawa had stopped to straighten so he'd wanted to focus more on him, "Oikawa-san - "
"No."
Kageyama had blinked, looking at him and tilting his head to the side, "What?" Oikawa had frowned at that, "I mean - ?"
"Whatever you're going to say about our marks, don't." Lifting another ball from the basket, Oikawa had spun it in his hands, looking down at Kageyama with the stoniest expression he'd ever worn in that gym before, "Yes. I felt it too, don't you worry about that, but it means nothing. Okay?"
The mark over Kageyama's thigh had then itched, a tell-tale sign, but he’d refused to scratch at it as he'd stood there, still trying to understand just what had been said.
"I don't - understand. Oikawa-san, we're - "
"No. No we're not. Okay?" Putting a hand over Kageyama's face, Oikawa had then pushed him back a few steps away from him. With his vision completely covered by flesh, Kageyama had let him, more confused than anything and when the hand had been removed he’d seen that Oikawa's glare from before was back, "You understand now? We are not soulmates."
"But - " Kageyama'd glanced down to where Oikawa's mark had been but he’d been interrupted before he'd had the chance to explain how special this was. He'd been taught all his life, especially by his mother, how 'magical' this moment should be but it was nothing like he'd imagined.
"Our marks don't mean anything," Oikawa had snapped at him, "Okay?! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to practice a little more," He’d then turned away, bouncing the ball between his feet, "Go on home, it's late."
Kageyama'd glanced at the door, then back again, unsure of how to feel, "Um. Okay." He’d then bent to grab his bag from the edge of the room and had run back toward the exit to quickly leave. Iwaizumi had stopped him as he'd passed, however, frowning.
"Are you okay, Kageyama?"
"I - Yes! Thank you," He’d nodded, ducking past and heading over toward the school's gates. He’d called his mother on the way and had waited there for her to pick him up. Usually he would have walked but at the time his mark had been throbbing painfully over his inner thigh and he hadn't been sure if walking would have made it worse or not. It had even hurt to stand.
So instead he’d sat over a bench near the gate, putting his feet up and holding onto his knees, but he hadn't even realised how much he’d been covered by the shadows until he’d heard Oikawa and Iwaizumi heading home too.
"I refuse to have him as my soulmate okay? The universe is literally laughing at me!" Oikawa had been saying, sounding frustrated, and there’d then been a bark of laughter in response, "It's not funny Iwa-chan!"
"I'm not laughing at that," Iwaizumi had said, passing Kageyama by without seeing him sitting there, huddled in the dark, "I'm laughing at how petty you are, you idiot. You don't even know the kid, he's 12."
"I don't care how old he is or who he is, he could be the world's most prized omega and I still wouldn't want him. Ever!" Oikawa had been gesturing, running his hands through his hair before putting on a high-pitched baby-voice and saying, "Oikawa-san, please teach me to serve! How annoying is that?"
"Oi! He's just asking for help!" Iwaizumi had given him a shove and then both them and their conversation had left his sight.
I wouldn't want him. Ever!
Smart or not, it had been pretty easy to figure out who they’d been talking about and it had hurt more than he'd ever have thought it would. He remembered feeling a lump fill his throat as he'd sat there and he’d rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, holding his knees closer and pressing his face into them.
His mother had picked him up a few minutes after but he'd forced himself not to say a word to her about what had happened, despite her pestering when she'd seen how upset he'd looked.
It had only been once he’d been in his room again that he’d let go. He’d ripped his shorts off to stare down at his throbbing mark, panting and hoping that it wasn't true.
The dark earthy green that it had always been had become darker, purplish almost, and it had hurt to touch. His eyes had burned with that finality and the mark had stung even more when his tears fell over it, running down his leg and splashing onto the carpet.
If it had darkened already then that meant that Oikawa had been sure in his rejection. That he didn't want him. That he would never want him, he'd said.
Pressing his lips together, Kageyama had muffled a sob behind them and had curled up onto his bed. He hadn't bothered showering or changing his clothes, and had just held onto the covers and cried himself to sleep.
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Kageyama woke Saturday morning to the sound of his mother shouting down the phone.
He sat up slowly, running a hand through his hair and combing it down with his fingers. His mother was still shouting when he went downstairs for breakfast and she held up a finger when she saw him standing there in his pyjamas. She finished her call then, slamming the phone down but ironically turning back to him with a smile.
"What time did you get home last night?"
"Late," He answered, opening the fridge and taking out a pot of yogurt.
"Did those alphas bother you again?" She was frowning as she asked, looking bothered herself at the thought of it. He shook his head and she relaxed, making him feel a lot better about the lie.
"Who was that?" He asked, glancing at the phone, and she sighed, rubbing her forehead with a groan.
"Some bastard hit my car yesterday and I got her details, but today she tried to blame me for it!" Glaring now, his mother took the yogurt from him and put it back in the fridge. She took out two eggs instead and cracked them over a frying pan, "How dare she try to talk to me like that! Rude, self-righteous, alpha bastard!"
Kageyama felt himself smiling but luckily she didn't notice or she would have gotten even madder.
"Here," She gave him the fried eggs and a glass of milk, before putting her jacket on, "Will you be alright on your own today?" He nodded and she kissed the top of his head, "Make sure you eat something for lunch, and text me if you go out, okay?"
He nodded again, scooping some egg into his mouth and taking the spare key she gave him. He then heard the door shut and lock after her a few minutes later and then he was home alone again.
It was a sunny day outside however and he didn't really want to spend it sitting either in the kitchen or in his room so he texted Hinata to see if he was free.
When he didn't get an immediate reply, he went out on his own instead anyway, texting his mother to tell her that he was going shopping. The centre wasn't too far away from his house by foot and he ran most of the way there, just to exercise, but when he arrived he realised that he really had nothing he particularly needed to get.
Plus, it was a Saturday and the shops were all far too busy.
In the end, he just breezed through the shops for most of the day, only spending actual time in the two sports-gear shops but he didn't really look at or get anything even there as he'd wandered around, and it was only when he passed by the jewelry shop that something caught his eye and he paused.
There was a bracelet in the window display, made of silver and flexibly chained. It had three round charms clicked onto it, with the middle one being an earthy green that made his chest ache.
He stared at it, coming closer, and realised that the second charm was completely different to the first. So they weren't a match. He noticed that it was in the shape of a pie slice, which was weird, and the third was a teddy bears face. He pressed a hand to the glass, taking in the tiny details.
"We have all sorts of charms, if you'd like to have a look," Someone said beside him suddenly and he jumped, turning to look at what must be a worker who'd seen his interest and had come outside to try and entice him further, "It depends on what sort of look you want yourself," Looking at Kageyama properly, he then added, "30% student discount too."
"How much is this one?" Kageyama asked him, pointing at the green charm.
"For you, the bracelet itself is ¥11,300.50 but with the single charm, it's ¥15,750.90." He used a key to open the glass box up, taking Kageyama's wrist in hand and hooking the bracelet over it, clasping it on, "With two charms, we lower the price to ¥13,000.50 altogether."
Staring at the charm, Kageyama felt almost mesmerised. It was a lot of pocket money, a lot, and he didn't really need it and yet, he liked the look of it.
"I can't," He said, shaking his head and unclipping it from his wrist, "I play volleyball, it would get in the way."
"You play Volleyball?" The worker asked, "We have volleyball charms too! And don't worry about it getting in the way, the bracelets don't fall off and they barely scratch. Plus you can always take them off when you're playing."
"You have volleyball charms?" Was all Kageyama latched onto.
"Sure!" The worker smiled, leading him into the store, "We have ones in silver, coloured, the japanese national player names ... "
In the end, Kageyama left the store with a bracelet on.
He had two charms on it, the green one that he'd seen before and a silver ball that had a volleyball dangling from it.
He wasn't really one to wear jewelry and it felt strange sitting on his wrist but he couldn't help but fiddle with it too and feel more than a little pleased that he'd bought it. The bracelets were apparently meant to represent things important to the individual, according to the worker, and he supposed that his first charms were true when it came to his.
His soulmate mark before rejection - his childhood dream of having a bond, and his love for volleyball. He fingered at the bracelet's clasp before hearing his stomach grumble and wincing. It was almost 1pm and he'd only had two eggs for breakfast.
He left the centre and decided to look for something to eat before heading back home, when he spotted a cake shop and his feet automatically led him toward it. It had been his mother's birthday a few days ago and they hadn't really had the time to do anything for it but she really liked cheesecake and he had some spare money on him. He brought the first one that he could see and carried the box outward, with both hands, as he started to look for a nearby cafe to eat a quick lunch in.
His mood was high when he turned the corner toward the usual one he ate in when he suddenly saw Kindaichi and Kunimi sitting outside of it and felt the ground open up under him.
He froze, his hands tightening around the box as he felt the memories of their last match together hit him like a slap, when he'd walked into the gym to see his entire team ignoring him completely. He was alone right now as well, without his current team, without Hinata, but he didn't have to speak to them if he didn't want to so he forced that memories away and took a step back.
They hadn't noticed him yet, which was good, but as he soon as he turned to walk in the other direction he saw their teams libero coming toward him alongside their other brunette setter. They were carrying bags between them and were in their volleyball clothing too, which meant that they must have just had a practice session together.
Iwaizumi was close behind them, with number 2, which meant that somewhere -
"Hey, Tobio-chan!"
He flinched, spinning to see Oikawa coming out of the sweet shop from right behind him. He had a lollipop in hand and was twirling it between his forefinger and thumb.
"Oikawa-san!"
"That cake looks nice, can I try a piece?" He leant forward with his finger, poking it out as though he was going to stab it into the cake, and Kageyama jerked it back with a glare.
"Don't, it's not for you!"
"Rude Tobio, you used to be nice to your senpais," His voice attracted Kindaichi and Kunimi's attention and they were both looking over now as well, realising he was here. Kageyama tensed, holding the cake closer. This was terrible.
"Leave him alone Oikawa," Iwaizumi scoffed as he walked past, and before Oikawa could respond their number 3 stepped out of the sweet shop just then as well, not looking the least bit surprised to see Kageyama and just simply tossing a few sweets over to 2, along with some change as well.
"They didn't have your favourite," He told him, shrugging, but 2 just shrugged back.
Kageyama watched as they breezed past him, Oikawa ignoring his presence now and returning to his teammates, so when their attention was entirely diverted he immediately turned and walked away. His cheeks felt hot and his mood had gone down, but he refused to let seeing Oikawa do this to him anymore.
"Nice bracelet," An alpha said to him as he passed and he startled, turning to see the man nodding at him from where he was standing, smoking a cigarette.
"... Thank you."
"No problem," He continued, smiling at Kageyama, "Try and stay as young and pretty as you are now, kid," He gestured to Oikawa and the others, "Those alphas will be all over you in a few years."
Beyond disgusted at that, Kageyama's politeness vanished and he gave the alpha a dark look, walking away faster.
He left so fast, he missed Oikawa watching him go, all traces of a smile gone.
.
"What's this for?" Kageyama looked up when from where he was laying the table, the cheesecake sitting right in the middle.
"Oh. Um. Happy birthday, mama," He offered quietly, gesturing to the food and the cake, and she squinted at him, "I got it today."
"I see," She took her jacket off and pulled him into her chest, hugging him tight, "Well then, thank you Tobio."
He relaxed now that he knew she wasn't mad, hugging her back, but when she pulled back to look at the spread he caught a glimpse of her soulmate mark just beneath her left ear. It was a mash of red and pink, a blur still without its partner to clear it, and when she caught him looking she rubbed at it with her finger.
"Sorry," He glanced away, sorting out the plates instead but she placed a hand on his shoulder and just smiled again.
"I'll find them one day, you know that. Just like you will," She said softly, "And it'll be as magical as they say it is."
He blinked twice, fighting back the lump in his throat over the irony, especially considering the fact that he'd just seen his soulmate today and it had been a reminder of rejection. His mother had never seen the change though, he'd gotten too good at hiding things from her in case she worried, but for once he wished he hadn't lied about this. If only to avoid her talking about his future with hope.
Instead, however, he just nodded and sat with her at the table to eat.
"That's pretty," She then commented after a while, pointing at his new bracelet with the end of her chopsticks.
He glanced down at it, touching the charms gently, "Thank you."
"How much was it?"
He flinched, looking away quiltily, "...um. ¥13000.50?"
She gave him a look that added to the guilt, "Tobio!"
"You just said it's pretty!"
She lowered the amount of money she would usually give him every month in punishment.
.
It was two weeks later when he saw Oikawa again.
Hinata's dinner had apparently gone so well for him that he and his omega were now dating. They'd discussed their bonding as well, or so Hinata had told him in confidence, and they had both their family's approval to do so whenever they were ready.
After a while however, Hinata stopped talking about it so much, very obviously showing that that was because he thought it upset Kageyama to hear about soulmates so often, but even when he was told that wasn't the case, he still refused to speak about it to him and only gossiped with Yachi and Noya instead.
Kageyama didn't bother protesting much because, if he was honest, he did prefer it if their conversations veered more toward things the both of them could talk about and away from things that stirred up bad memories in him.
But it was on one of their walks around the shopping centre, after practice, that he actually met Hinata's omega, and Kageyama felt the sadness Hinata had mistakenly seen in him before actually come to the surface.
"Shouyou!" The Omega smiled brightly, waving, and leaving his father behind to run over to them, "I thought you had Volleyball practice today!"
"I did!" Hinata's face brightened as well, and together Kageyama could see the strength of their bond even without it being official yet, "We just finished a few minutes ago, so Kageyama and I were going to get some meat buns!"
"Oh," The Omega looked at him now, "Hello."
"Hi," Feeling immensely awkward, Kageyama put his hands in his pockets, glancing down and away.
"Kageyama, this is my soulmate, Yoichi," Hinata introduced them, and Kageyama bit back the 'that's obvious dumbass' with some remarkable effort, "Yoichi, this is my volleyball partner, Kageyama. He's one of the team's setters, that I told you about."
"Oh, the genius guy?" Yoichi beamed at him, "Shouyou talks about you a lot."
"Oh." Not really sure what to say to that, Kageyama ignored the way his cheeks burned and glared at the ground to try and hide it.
"Shouyou, my dad's wanted to see you for ages, to show you the store we spoke about!" Eyes only for each other, they soon forgot about him and Hinata practically buzzed with excitement.
"Ohh! I'd love to see it!" He took Yoichi by the hand, "Kageyama, I'll be back soon okay!"
"It's okay," Kageyama shook his head, "I have to go home now anyway."
"Really?" Hinata deflated a little, frowning at him, "I won't be long."
"Don't be stupid, take your time dumbass, I don't mind."
Hinata's frown became a tiny glare then and he pouted at him, "Fine, loser," Gripping Yoichi's hand tighter, they both turned away, "See you next Monday then, Kageyama!"
"Bye!" Yoichi called back to him as they ran toward his father, "It was nice to meet you!"
Kageyama didn't reply, just stood there and watched as Hinata spoke to Yoichi's father and then as they started to head off together. One day, if this all went as well as it was going for him now, that man would be his father-in-law.
Kageyama clenched his hands into fists, his thigh itching horribly like it usually did whenever he thought about his bond, but it seemed to burn this time as well. He almost put it down to his imagination, shaking his head and turning away, when he felt a presence behind him and almost jumped out of his skin.
"Ah ... the life of a third wheel." Oikawa had an ice-cream cone in hand, licking at it in casual clothing today, with a baseball cap on to shield his paler skin from the sun.
"Oikawa-san." Not in the mood to see him in the least, Kageyama ignored his usual politeness and openly glared at him, "What do you want?"
"Nothing," Oikawa looked startled at the question, "I just saw you and decided to say 'hello', that's all."
"Insulting me isn't saying 'hello'."
Oikawa sighed, licking the tip of the ice-cream off completely, "Saying you're a third wheel isn't an insult, Tobio-chan. It's a fact. Live with it."
"No."
"Do what you want," Shaking his head, Oikawa started to walk away, "You probably don't even know what one is."
He had a guess but he wasn't able to rise to the bait because his mouth suddenly had something his brain didn't want it to say, "I know that that," He said, pointing to where Hinata and his soulmate had been, "Could have been us."
Oikawa gagged on his ice-cream, coughing into his other hand before turning back to give Kageyama a look, "Please tell me you're joking, Tobio."
Kageyama straightened, "It could have been. If you'd just give it a chance, just try, it was rejected when you were 14, maybe - "
"Stop talking before you piss me off," Holding a hand up, Oikawa's carefree attitude had vanished and he was stony faced now, as he usually was whenever dealing with Kageyama's earnestness, "I don't owe you anything, Tobio."
What?
"I didn't say you did, I just want - "
"We aren't soulmates and we never will be. Learn to stop dragging on with the past and just go and find some other nice alpha already," Waving a hand behind him, he turned again to leave, "See ya."
"I don't want another alpha," Kageyama said after him, not letting his voice carry much but a shopkeeper still glanced up at them with a curious frown, "... I want you."
Oikawa paused, tilting his head to the side for a moment before just licking at his ice-cream again.
"We have the marks for a reason," Kageyama tried again, but it seemed Oikawa had had enough because he didn't even bother turning around.
"We don't always get what we want," He just muttered instead, "Now go home, like you said you would a minute ago."
Watching him walk away again brought up that old bitter anger and Kageyama glared at Oikawa's back, watching as he smiled at some whispering omegas nearby just to hear them laugh and see them blush. It made him sick.
He kicked a bulky rock under his trainers and let it zip forward to hit the back of Oikawa's ankle, watched as he turned around to look down at it in surprise before glaring at Kageyama, who then jogged away in the opposite direction.
He ran all the way home too, his new bracelet jingling as he went and it was only when one of the charms knocked against a telephone pole that he thought to stop and check on it. It seemed fine, but he stopped for a rest anyway, noticing that he'd ended up near Ukai-sans shop.
He was panting when he entered, looking around for a drink to buy and wondering if Ukai might possibly be free to train a little bit as well, to get his mind off of everything. Instead, however, he found Sugawara sitting at the counter and he froze.
"Kageyama?" He sat up, holding a magazine in hand and looking just as surprised to see him standing there as Kageyama was to see him.
"Sugawara-san.” He grabbed the nearest carton of milk, heading over to the counter, "Is - Ukai-san not - ?"
"I was doing some homework in here for a bit and he had to go and see his grandfather," Sugawara explained, smiling at him and taking the milk to ring it up, "I said I'd mind the store while he was gone."
"Oh," Not really sure of what to say, Kageyama paid for the milk with the change in his pocket and poked the straw through the hole, sucking half of it in in one go, "Thank you," He turned to leave.
"You don't have to go," Sugawara said, "I'm sure he'll be back in a minute."
His urge to train with Ukai was slowly leaving him, however, and he suddenly felt like he'd much rather be at home right now than out, "No, it's okay. I can go." He looked toward the door when Sugawara suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned.
"Kageyama ... are you alright?"
The question took him by surprise and to his embarrassment, his eyes began filling with water. He quickly glanced away to hide them and nodded unconvincingly but Sugawara must have noticed because he simply handed him a tissue to wipe them away.
"It's okay to cry, Kageyama," Gesturing next to him at a second chair, he added, "Sit down. You don't have to leave just yet, if you really don't want to."
Kageyama slumped onto the chair, sipping at his milk.
"Something's been bugging you for a few weeks now," Sugawara then said, after a moment of silence, "If it's personal you don't have to tell me, but - I'd like to help, if I can."
Kageyama just shrugged, looking down at his feet. Mud had painted the side of one of his trainers. He'd need to clean it when he got home.
Nothing more was said between them for a long while and Sugawara began doing his homework again while Kageyama finished his milk, threw the carton in the bin, and stared into space.
When more than ten minutes of silence passed by, the words that he'd been fighting against won their battle, and he clenched his fists over his knees as he spoke.
"I have a soulmate." Sugawara turned to stare at him, his eyes wide, "... they - they rejected me when I was 12."
.
In his second year of Junior High Kageyama finally clocked on that Oikawa hated him.
He'd never really looked further into it before, having just put the soulmate issue down to Oikawa not feeling ready for it and wanting to give it more of a chance when they were older, but more and more things began to click for him.
Oikawa's attempt to hit him had been one of the events that he thought back on and he wondered what he'd done to have had so much anger directed at him. He'd thought that maybe Oikawa had just been frustrated that day but every time he'd asked to be taught how to serve, or had even just asked for help with anything, Oikawa had been rude and had rejected any effort to talk.
He'd never let him play on the court too often either, especially not as a setter, and he'd only ever had a few tries when the coach had allowed it. And now, when he thought back to it, he knew that it had all been because of hate.
He just didn't know why.
Oikawa's graduation had brought a lot of changes into how Kageyama thought.
With him gone, he realised how he’d felt about him and he'd also noticed how lacking in effort the volleyball team had become, now that their amazing third years had left. No one tried hard anymore, there was no true spirit with Oikawa not around to keep them in check.
Their new captain was far too lenient, and some of the players didn't even attend every practice. It was infuriating and he left it show, never really seeing the point in hiding his thoughts.
He told the team what he thought of them, put more time into practicing himself and trying to perfect the serve that Oikawa had refused to teach him.
He didn't know when the rumors of him not having a soulmate started but when he first heard Kindaichi say to him spitefully after an argument, he'd been more surprised than hurt and hadn't really known how to respond. After that, he’d noticed it more and more but didn't say anything to counter it.
It was better, in a way, he thought. For people to assume that he had no soulmate mark than for them to know that he had one, he'd just been rejected through it and was therefore undesirable in an entirely different way. Sometimes though, he regretted not saying anything when the rumors got worse, but some part of him also knew that Oikawa would have been furious if he'd let others know they were meant to be soulmates. And he was already hated enough by him.
The rumors spread throughout his second year and some alphas in his classes assumed that his lack of a mark meant that he was fair game, but his 'attitude' soon taught them differently and it then became a school-joke that he had no soulmate mark.
Because who would want him?
His third year was even worse, especially after their last match where his arrogance had cost him everything. The team had turned their back on him and he'd never felt more alone than he had in that moment. The thing that had hurt the most then, however, had been when he'd turned at the end of the match and had seen Oikawa on a balcony above, watching it all with something similar to disdain in his eyes.
He'd cried nonstop that night and had refused to tell his mother why.
Coming to the next week's practice, the final practice, had been one of the worse days of his life. He'd spent it in a depressive daze, only reacting angrily when one of his classmates had mocked the 'kings toss' to him in Math, as Kindaichi and the others had dubbed it, before heading to the gym.
He was sure he wouldn't be welcome, and he was right; no one spoke a word to him the entire time. They formed two teams, even having someone sit out to be the ref because without him they were an odd number, and he'd stayed in the corner to practice his serves whilst they had their last practice together.
It was when he was leaving that he'd gotten the final blow, a note that the coach gave him. Apparently Oikawa had asked for it to be given to him the next time he was at practice and because the coach had known him, he'd obliged and had kept it.
Kageyama had taken it gingerly, reading what was essentially Oikawa calling him out on the King nickname, before seeing the last sentence that had taken the breath from him.
Good thing I'm not your soulmate because I would have been embarrassed to have been your alpha that day.
It was cold, mean, and he'd scrunched it up in front of the coach and had left without saying goodbye.
It was then that he'd decided with finality that he would not be going to AobaJohsai.
.
"I see." Sugawara blew on the tea that he'd made whilst Kageyama had been venting, taking a long sip before speaking again, "And you said your mother doesn't know?"
Kageyama shook his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, "No one knows. Apart from Oikawa-san. And - Iwaizumi-san, a little. ... I think."
"He knows you and Oikawa were meant to be soulmates, at least?" Kageyama nodded, looking away awkwardly, despite how nice Sugawara was being. He hated crying in front of other people, "Why hold onto the lie that you don't have a soulmate mark?"
"Because - !" Kageyama clenched his hands over his knees, digging his nails into the skin just under his shorts, "How can I say - ? It's a rejected mark, Sugawara-san."
"There's no shame in that," Sugawara assured him, "Especially considering the rivalry between our two teams, they'd understand."
"It's not about them," Kageyama murmured, "I'm - I am ashamed."
Sugawara pushed the other cup of tea toward him, "Why? You've got nothing to be ashamed of, Kageyama."
"Yes I do. My soulmate hates me," He rubbed at his eyes again, "Everyone already knows I'm a shitty omega, if they knew my soulmate hated me too they'd know why and - "
"Hey," Sugawara suddenly snapped and Kageyama blinked, stopping, "Hate is a very strong word Kageyama, that might not be the case. And who says you're a shitty omega? Omegas are omegas, we're all different, don't let people tell you what you should be, that's ridiculous!"
Kageyama stared at him, his cheeks itching as the tears dried, "But I'm - "
"Oikawa's probably feeling the same as you are about this bond, maybe he can't move on too, because it was rejected when you were both so young," Taking another sip, Sugawara then added, "I think, well - what I would do in this situation anyway, is talk to him. Find out what made him reject you back then and try to see if you can work around it."
He wiped at his face again, "... work around it?"
"Yes. If it's because you're both on opposite teams, then a soulmate bond is stronger than that, and who knows? Maybe you won't always be." Kageyama straightened a little, looking at him, "Talking things out is always better than wallowing in them and thinking the worse. Try to meet up with Oikawa, talk to him, and see where that gets you."
"You don't think he hates me, then?"
"No. I think hate is far too strong a word for this," Kageyama wiped at his face again, looking down, "I think most of this is probably just rivalry."
He sniffed, feeling like a child but nodding anyway, "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay, I'll talk to him."
Sugawara smiled, opening his mouth to say something else when the door opened and Ukai stepped in. He looked between them, from the tea cups to Kageyama's tear-stricken face, before taking a step back, "Ah. Should I - ?"
"No - sorry. I'm going," Kageyama stood, bowing to him before turning to Sugawara again, "Thank you Sugawara-san."
"It's fine," Sugawara grinned, watching him go and waving. Once Kageyama was gone, he handed the tea that he hadn't even tried to Ukai instead, "It's still hot, Coach."
"Ah, thank you," He took it, drinking a few sips all at once before glancing at the door that Kageyama had just run out of, "Everything okay? Volleyball related?"
"Yes he's okay, and no it's not," Sugawara said vaguely, clearing away his things now that the shopkeeper was back, "Thank you for letting me work here." He then said and Ukai smiled.
"Thank you for minding the shop in return."
.
The Lil' Tykes Volleyball practice was on Mondays and Thursdays, according to the leaflet that Kageyama had found at home.
Oikawa taught there as a part-time job, which meant that it should have been easy to find him. When he got there, however, they were having their lunch break and Oikawa had apparently taken his nephew out to eat in the sun somewhere.
The other worker had asked if Kageyama wanted Oikawa to know he'd been looking for him and when he'd immediately said no, she’d smiled, saying that they got a lot of omegas like him, which was just fantastic.
Now she thought he was just one of Oikawa's stupid fans.
He left then, hoping to at least come back after the lunch break was over but his mother called him home over the phone and he missed his chance. When he got back, however, and helped his mother cook dinner, he started to regret his decision and his confidence waned.
What exactly was he going to say if he did speak to Oikawa? Everytime he even mentioned their soulmate marks, Oikawa lost his temper, how could he possibly have a whole conversation about it with him?
"What's the matter?" His mother asked him when he stopped stirring the curry for a moment. She took the spoon from him before it could burn and stick to the sides of the pot, and he quickly snapped out of it.
"Just thinking," He said, taking the spoon back from her and mixing faster than he'd been before, "About school."
She gave him a look but seemed to like the conversation regardless of his obvious lying, "And how are your grades?"
He winced, lifting the raw chicken from the chopping board to put it in the pot instead of answering. She sieved the rice over the sink, shaking her head.
"I see," He winced again, "I hope what you're thinking of is studying then."
After dinner, she sent him up to do just that. He placed a glass of juice over his desk, answering old texts from Hinata and Yachi and even one from Tanaka about a party or something. He declined politely, pulling out his english work from his bag instead.
Elizabeth Groves stared at him once again and he glared down at her.
He'd chosen to talk about what might have happened if they hadn't ended up bonding, in his assignment, writing it out in japanese before painstakingly copying sections from the book in english. He'd written that Elizabeth would have been ashamed to have been rejected and would have hidden that from everyone else.
Her soulmate did the same and married an omega whose soulmate had died, pretending that they were a bonded couple whilst Elizabeth had ended up alone.
His teacher had told him to try and make it a little less depressing but he'd ignored her, especially since she'd said it before the class and someone in the back had decided to find that hilarious.
He could write what he wanted to, as long as it had enough english in it like the teacher wanted, she had no right to complain about the topic.
Rereading his own work, however, he agreed with the depressive attitude and slumped over his chair, pressing his head down onto the desk and sighing. In the actual ending of the book, Yachi (who'd read it before him) had told him that Elizabeth and her soulmate meet again when they were much older and she was kind to him when she thought he was just a stranger.
When he realised she was his old rejected soulmate, he regretted it because he could have had this kind omega in his life all along, and he apologised to her in the form of a marriage proposal. Kageyama had scoffed at that, especially when she'd agreed to it without even getting angry at all the years of loneliness he'd given her before, but Yachi had insisted it that it was meant to be a romantic gesture.
Her forgiveness and his regret.
His version was probably a lot more accurate, especially considering his own circumstances. Or maybe he was just annoyed that Elizabeth got her happy ending but still had to wait 10 years for it. He didn't want to do that, he didn't even want to wait for something he might not ever get, but he really didn't want this sort of thinking either.
Sitting up, he slammed his hands over the desk and glared at the wall. Sugawara had said to talk it out instead of wallowing and thinking the worse and that was exactly what he was doing right now.
Copying the last few quotes from the book that he needed for his assignment, he then began to use the book to practice some of the english words within it and tried the question papers that Tsukishima had given him the day before.
Rereading the conversation between Elizabeth and her soulmate when they'd been younger, whilst looking over Yachi's notes, he forced some confidence into himself again.
There was nothing frightening about Oikawa and he deserved a chance to know why he'd been rejected. Oikawa had said before that he didn't owe Kageyama anything but surely an explanation wouldn't be counted in that.
To him, Oikawa had always been something amazing and unobtainable. He felt both anger and awe whenever he thought of him but he'd meant it when he'd told him that he wanted him. He did. He wanted their soulmate bond, and he wanted them to at least try before rejecting it so firmly. He wanted a chance.
An hour into his studying time, he pulled on his jacket and glanced at the time. It wasn't too late and he had at least 2 or 3 hours before it started to get dark.
"Mama!" He ran downstairs, skidding across newly mopped floor and finding her sitting on the sofa, half-asleep, "Mama?"
"Hm?" She opened an eye, looking exhausted.
"I'm going out quickly, is that okay? I won't be long."
"No, it's going to be dark soon," She said, shaking her head.
"Please? It's important." She groaned, turning away and putting a pillow over her head, "I won't be long, I promise."
She glared at him when he pulled the pillow from her face, pleading her with his eyes until she relented, “Have your phone on you at all times and on sound so you can hear me ring," She ordered him and his shoulders rose with joy that she was actually letting him go out so late, "And be back before dark."
"I will. I promise." He kissed the top of her head before grabbing the spare keys and putting his trainers on. The sky was a gloomy blue and the sun was low but he still had time and he wasn't going far.
Looking through his phone contacts, he found the one that he was looking for right away. One that he had not used for over a year now, and his stomach turned at the last message that he'd sent being a reprimand over missing volleyball practice but he'd always wanted an excuse to text him again and to see what the response would be and now was as good a time as any.
Me
I need help.
It sounded stupid and he immediately regretted texting it, especially when he saw that it was viewed but not replied to after about 10 minutes of walking around outside. He almost texted Yachi then, to see what she would think, as she usually seemed to have good ideas, but his phone buzzed before he could and he nearly dropped it in surprise.
Kindaichi
Wth
He frowned, unsure if that was because of what he'd texted after all this time or because he'd texted something at all.
Me
I need to know where Oikawa-san is.
Kindaichi responded a second later, angrily.
Kindaichi
Go 2 hell.
Kageyama sighed, finding a bench and sitting over it to text properly.
Me
Ok. But tell me where he could be first. He stared at his phone before adding, Please.
Kindaichi
Why?
Me
It's important.
Kindaichi
Find out yourself. I#m busy
Kageyama gripped his phone harder, struggling to hold back his anger: I asked you for a reason! I know you don't like me but it's important and I don't know how else to find-
His typing was interrupted by another text from Kindaichi however, and when he read it, he deleted what he was originally going to send and immediately tried the number that he'd been sent.
After a while, he was connected to the nearest zoo and told their opening times and to try again later. He glared down at the texts from Kindaichi and sent: Very funny.
I thought so. Was the response before another text with a different number was sent: 22-XXX-XXXX
Me
Thank you.
He wasn't replied to at all then but that was alright because he'd gotten what he needed. He took a deep breath and tried the new number. While it was ringing, however, he panicked, wondering what he would even say. What if Oikawa asked who had given this number to him? Kindaichi might get into trouble and that would make their relationship even worse.
In the end, he needn't have worried so much, because it wasn't even Oikawa who answered.
"Hello?" He froze at the sound of Iwaizumi's voice, curling up slightly on the bench that he was sitting on, "Hello?"
"Um," He cleared his throat, thinking about what to say, "It's Kageyama."
"... ah." Iwaizumi didn't sound too surprised to hear that so he wondered if Kindaichi had texted him, and then there was a shuffling sound before he heard him whisper 'it's Kageyama' to whoever he was with.
"Put him on speaker," He heard someone say and Kageyama blanched.
"No - ” But he heard the beep that meant it was too late, "Um. Please take me off speaker."
"Hang on," Iwaizumi’s voice sounded far away and there was some laughter that he recognised as the number 3 before the phone beeped again, "There."
"Thank you," He bit his lip, "Are you busy?"
"A little."
"Sorry," He squeezed the phone, "I'm - I need to find Oikawa-san, that's why - that's why I rang."
"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi did sound surprised now and there was more shuffling and some whispering again, "Why?"
"I just need to talk to him. It's important. Please?"
There was a loud bang through the phone and he winced before he heard 3 again, closer this time, "I'm meeting Oikawa with Matsukawa in the sponge cafe in about an hour. Try that.”
"I - thank you!" There was some more scuffling and then he heard Iwaizumi say 'Oikawa's gonna kill you Hanamaki' which didn't seem to concern 3 at all.
"His Kouhai wants to see him, what's wrong with that?"
Kageyama held the phone, wondering if he should just turn it off or not, but then he heard a cheerful 'bye!' and it was hung up for him. He blinked, feeling a little dazed that that had actually just happened before putting the phone back in his pocket and heading over to the cafe that 3, Hanamaki, had mentioned.
When he got there, however, he remembered that he'd said that they'd be meeting Oikawa in an hour which meant it was highly unlikely he'd already be here so early.
He grit his teeth at his stupidness, sitting down on a low wall opposite the cafe and taking his phone out to see what the time was. It was cold as he sat there, though, a breeze filling the air as the sun dipped lower in the sky and he zipped his jacket up, putting his hands into the pockets once he was done with his phone.
A few people passed him by, some giving him odd looks but he ignored them and just hugged himself for warmth. The only one that made him feel uncomfortable was an alpha standing opposite, staring at him occasionally before glancing away again. Kageyama glared at him the third time their eyes met but he was smiled at, which made him try to just ignore the guy as he usually did with others.
Another 20 minutes later and his confidence, and sudden hope that talking to Oikawa would go well, gradually left him and he eventually stood, stretching his legs out and deciding to just head back home.
He barely made it too far before the alpha that had been staring at him decided to approach him, "Hey."
"Go away," Kageyama didn't even glance at him, though he did keep a firm hand on his phone in his pocket.
"What happened, your alpha stood you up?"
"Fuck off."
"I'll take that as a yes," Coming closer, the alpha leant toward him to get into his face, "You know, I'd never do that."
Kageyama stopped walking, intent on either shoving the guy and running or just bluntly telling him that he was not interested, when he suddenly noticed the undeniable style and colour of Oikawa's hair.
"Oikawa-san!"
Oikawa spun around at the sound of his name, in the process of zipping his jacket up, and when he saw that it was Kageyama his eyes narrowed. Then he glanced at the alpha who was next to him and actually came over.
"Shouldn't you be at home, at this time, Tobio-chan?" He asked and usually Kageyama would boil at his patronising tone, but he felt relieved to see him instead, "Your mother won't like that you're out here late, with your alpha."
"He's not my alpha," Kageyama gave the other guy a look, having forgotten that he was even there for a moment, before fully turning to Oikawa, "I need to talk to you. I came looking and Hana - Hanamaki-san said that you'd - "
"Hey, I was talking to you," The alpha then said angrily, gripping Kageyama by the arm and pulling him back. Kageyama looked at him but it was Oikawa who placed a hand over the alphas and pried it off, looking utterly bored to do so. The alpha snatched his hand back, baring his teeth before stopping at the expression he saw, and taking a step back.
Oikawa was the taller alpha, the bigger one, and his eyes were dark as he looked down at him, unimpressed by the display and looking truly pissed off.
"Fuck you," The alpha spat at him, changing his mind about the fight he was about to start and just turning to Kageyama to sneer, "See you."
Kageyama watched him go, frowning, before forgetting about him and turning to face Oikawa fully, "Oikawa-san - "
"Are you following me?"
"... huh?"
"Every time I go out now, I happen to see you," Oikawa snapped, his intimidating aura still there despite the alpha having left by now, "What do you want?"
Kageyama felt his confidence wan one more time but he was here now, he'd gotten this far, "I want to talk."
"About?"
"About us."
"There is no us," Oikawa sighed, running a hand through his hair, "And I'm busy."
Kageyama looked at him, well aware of how similar this situation felt, but he didn't want to bow so low like that again. He might have to, however, as it was probably the only way to get Oikawa to ever listen to him.
"Please," He tried instead, lowering his head, and he felt his hair whisper against his forehead when Oikawa sighed again. He was standing close enough that the breeze sent his scent toward him and he almost ended up taking a step forward just to drink in more.
He wondered if Oikawa could smell his too.
"Fine," He flinched at Oikawa's sudden and sharp reply, "We're talking inside though, I'm freezing." He turned to head into the cafe and Kageyama immediately ran in after him, happy that it was going somewhere at least. Inside, they stopped at a booth and Oikawa stepped around and into it.
"Well sit down then," He gestured to a seat opposite, swinging his leg around under the table to hook over his other, lounging back.
Kageyama glanced down at him, at the others in the cafe, before finally taking a seat in the booth as well and squeezing his hands together over the table. They were handed a menu a second later and Oikawa barely browsed over it before ordering a banana-shake and nothing else. Kageyama asked to have a little more time and their waiter smiled at him, leaving them alone.
"Well?" Oikawa said, sitting up a little straighter, "You wanted to talk, talk. I don't have forever."
"Um," Kageyama's fingers tugged at the napkin over the table and he began to subconsciously shred it over his lap, "I - " He cleared his throat, his cheeks growing hot when Oikawa's neutral expression began to visibly sour, "Sugawara-san, my team's vice-captain?"
"Refreshing-kun, yeah, I know him."
"Okay," Bolstered that Oikawa was actually listening, Kageyama sat a little straighter, "I told him you were my soulmate - " Oikawa roughly cleared his throat, glancing around not-so-subtly to see if anyone heard, "And that you rejected me. He told me to talk to you about it and I - because I want to know."
"Know what?" Oikawa asked.
"I want to know why you think we wouldn't work," Kageyama said, a little louder now and lifting his chin to show how serious he was, "Why you won't at least try."
The waiter returned with the milkshake as soon as he'd spoken and he glanced between them, catching the last bit of Kageyama's words and noting the tension in their booth. He smiled again, awkwardly this time, and left quicker than he had before.
Oikawa watched him go, his expression darkening as he sipped his milkshake through the straw.
A few minutes passed and nothing else was said. Kageyama let the napkin go when only a quarter of it remained, clenching his fists over his lap instead, "Oikawa-san - "
"I heard." Turning back to look at him again, Oikawa's face was blank, and he sighed at whatever expression he saw on Kageyama's face. He never was good at hiding his emotions and right now he probably looked as stupidly earnest as he felt, "You want to know why we won't work."
"Yes."
"Okay," Drumming his fingers beside his milkshake, Oikawa nodded, "I'll make you a deal then. I give you my reasons first, and then you give your ones about why you think we would work. Then, we don't ever talk again outside of tournaments." He smiled, without it reaching his eyes at all, "Sound fair?"
Kageyama blinked, taking in a slow breath before nodding, hoping to change Oikawa's mind with his own reasons anyway, "... yes."
"Okay then," Oikawa twirled the straw around his glass, taking a long sip before leaning closer and lowering his voice, "Well first of all, we're on different teams. Two different teams that have a huge rivalry and that have played against each other once already. A soulmate bond would get right in the way of that and wouldn't last long at all considering that it'll be dealing with Volleyball competition."
"That's not - "
Oikawa held a hand up, "I'm not finished. Secondly, we're in two different schools as well. We don't exactly mix often and our schedules are entirely different. Being together would never work out when we're so far apart all the time or when you have class and I don't, and vise versa. I'm also going to University next year, what will you do then?"
Kageyama pressed his lips together, desperately wanting to say that he was still more than willing to try anyway, regardless of any obstacles, and he felt like he was practically vibrating with the anticipation of actually saying this all out loud. But then Oikawa mentioned his final reason.
"And thirdly ... I don't like you." He stiffened. "Soulmates are supposed to be two people who share a connection and a bond that leads to romantic endeavours, but you and I will never have that because I honestly can't stand you. You're a pain in my ass, and at best, an irritating kouhai of mine. Nothing else."
He didn't seem to be saying it to be vindictive and yet it was strange, to be able to sit so absolutely still when he'd felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice-water at him from a distance. Kageyama's hands unclenched and he stared at Oikawa, his heart squeezing in his chest.
"How can you expect us to be soulmates if the entire reason for being soulmates isn't there, Tobio? Hm?" Taking another sip, Oikawa leant back, "Okay, now your turn. Your reasons. Then I need to meet some of my friends," He waved a hand, seeming to be completely oblivious to how deeply his words had cut.
Hate is a strong word Kageyama.
"Hello? Tobio-chan?" Oikawa waved a hand in his face, "Hurry it up. And are you going to order or not, I feel strange being the only one - "
Kageyama stood suddenly, knowing that his face was red but unable to do a thing about it, "Excuse me," He bowed slightly, stepping out of the booth and heading for the exit. Oikawa didn't call him back and when he turned past the door to the high street, he saw him watching him from the window with a frown.
Once he was past the cafe, Kageyama broke into a run, well aware that he was pretty far from home and that it was as dark as his mother had said not to be out in now. He bit his lip, hoping that she wouldn't be mad at him today as well because honestly, he felt like he could really use some understanding from her instead.
As soon as he turned the corner, however, he slammed into someone's chest and would have collapsed to the floor if the person he'd bumped into hadn't had such quick reflexes.
"Ah, Kageyama!" He jerked his head up, eyes wide, and saw number 2 and 3, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, staring down at him, "How did your talk go, did you find Oikawa?"
"I - " He took a step back, his cheeks burning now and he couldn't help but feel angry at his face. He knew he looked idiotic standing here, like he was about to cry and right next to a cafe where Oikawa was sitting alone now, while the two friends he was meeting just had to see him, "I - I have to go. I'm sorry."
He ducked his head, running past them and gritting his teeth from embarrassment until he reached the nearest bus stop. He slumped onto one of the seats, hunching over and pressing his hands to his cheeks.
"Are you okay?" An omega sitting at the stop with him asked, watching whilst he gasped in air and struggled to hold back how he felt. He nodded, not looking at her, and she soon got back to the book that she was reading.
The bus came a few minutes later and he got onto it with heavy feet, taking a seat right at the back beside a window and resting his head against it.
I honestly can't stand you.
The girl that had been at the stop came on as well and she glanced at him before sitting in the seat in front and minding her own business, for which he was grateful for.
His breath fanned over the window as he texted his mother, telling her that he was on the bus on the way home and that he was sorry that he was out later than he'd promised. A few people got off and got on at the next stop and he squeezed his legs together when an elderly omega sat beside him, holding onto her shopping and putting it between her legs. She gave him a smile, not looking the least bit bothered when he didn't return it.
Instead, he scrolled down his phone, feeling numb. He stopped when he came up to Sugawara's number and paused.
Me
You were wrong.
He texted, aware of how rude that sounded but not caring in the least right now, shutting his eyes and trying to ignore his surroundings until he got home. His stop came another 5 minutes later and he hopped off the bus, running down the street toward his house.
The same group of alphas were sitting around there as usual but, for once, they didn't bother him and he walked by easily.
There was a song playing from one of their phones and they seemed to be too busy dancing and fooling around to it than to pay attention to him but, because of that, he ended up paying them a lot more attention than usual and didn't even look where he was going until he stuttered to a halt at his house.
His breath caught at he stared, because for some strange reason, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were standing outside his door, looking incredibly out of breath.
He stepped closer, not sure if he was imagining them or not, but when they turned and saw him, their smiles convinced him that this definitely wasn't real.
"Um," He stepped through his gate, still staring at them.
"Iwaizumi let us know where you lived," Matsukawa explained, before nudging Hanamaki, "And Makki owes you an apology."
"... um."
Hanamaki rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, glancing at the door, "Can we come in?"
Kageyama bit his key into the palm of his hand, "I - no. Sorry. My mum wouldn't like it," He said, quietly, "You're alphas and - "
"Oh it's alright, we're gay, I'm sure she won't mind. It's not like we're here to do anything," With that, Hanamaki knocked on the door and Kageyama blanched.
"Hey - "
The door unlocked before he could get there, however, and he froze as soon as he saw his mother standing in the frame.
"Tobio, I thought I told you - !" She paused then, looking at the three of them standing there, "Oh. Hello."
"Hello Kageyama-san," Bowing to her, Hanamaki gestured to Kageyama, "I'm very sorry to barge in on you like this but my alpha and I need to talk to your son about Volleyball. Is that okay?"
"Volleyball?" She turned to look at Kageyama and seemed to be confused at whatever expression was on his face, "I - suppose."
"Thank you," Stepping inside, Hanamaki and Matsukawa toed their shoes off and allowed Kageyama's mother to lead them inside, "We won't be long."
"Mama," Kageyama hurried in, looking at her, "I didn't - " She gave him a look, however, showing that they'd speak about this later, when there weren't guests around.
"Would you like some tea?" She asked instead and they both declined.
"It's alright, Kageyama-san, thank you. We just need to talk to Tobio-kun for a bit and then we'll go," Matsukawa said, tugging at his collar until enough of his soulmate mark was shown to peak her interest.
"You two are soulmates?" She asked them then, smiling like she always did whenever she met a bonded pair, and Hanamaki nodded, "Oh that's so nice, at such a young age too! How long has it been since you've found each other?"
"Mama - "
"It's been years," Matsukawa said, dryly, while Hanamaki just grinned, "You?"
Her smile dimmed, "I haven't been as lucky yet, I'm afraid. Maybe one day," She turned to Kageyama, "Why don't you show them up to your room and talk, Tobio?"
"Are you sure?" He gaped but she seemed utterly fine with it suddenly, "... okay." Hanamaki and Matsukawa seemed to look almost smug as they looked at him, as though they'd known that his mother would be alright with this, despite him knowing her a lot better than they did.
"This way," He said to them both, feeling way out of his depth and not even knowing what this was even supposed to be about. The only thing that it had succeeded in doing was driving all thoughts of his conversation with Oikawa out of his mind but as soon as he thought that, he remembered everything and felt his stomach drop.
Hanamaki whistled when he stepped into his room, taking in the space and the sports equipment before sitting at the desk and looking at the book that Kageyama's teacher had assigned him. Matsukawa pushed at him until he stood, letting him sit first and then sitting on his lap instead, reading the cover.
"Ah, Groves trials," He muttered, "I remember this shitty book."
"Yeah," Matsukawa agreed, putting his arms around Hanamaki's waist and looking around the room at all the manga novels and the two volleyballs in the corner.
Kageyama sat on the edge of his bed, his hands between his thighs and his shoulders high as he struggled to hold back his nerves. Why were they here?
"Um," Matsukawa spun the chair when he spoke, until they faced him head on, and he stumbled over his words, "You said - apology - to - for me?"
"Yeah, we did," Hanamaki said, leaning back into his alpha, "I owe you an apology, Kageyama. I honestly didn't think your talk with Oikawa would go so badly, though."
Kageyama frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Well, you're soulmates," Hanamaki continued and Kageyama tensed immediately, "Oikawa told me the first time he mentioned you and it was obvious when we played against you in that practice match. You fit."
Kageyama glanced down, "He doesn't think so."
"Yeah, Oikawa's our friend we know," Hanamaki said, "But sometimes ... "
"He's an idiot," Matsukawa finished.
"Yeah. "
"I don't understand," Kageyama shuffled a little back over his bed, looking between the two, "Why do you need to apologise? You didn't - "
"Because I knew you'd want to talk about your marks with Oikawa and I told you where he'd be," Hanamaki said, "He'd been complaining about his mark hurting him for weeks so I thought if the two of you talked, it might help him. I was thinking about my friend but I didn't mean for you to get hurt," He offered Kageyama a sheepish smile, "So I apologise for that."
"You didn't do anything," Kageyama frowned, "Oikawa-san doesn't want it, it's got nothing to do with you or our marks, he just doesn't want - me."
Matsukawa pulled Hanamaki up when he started to slide off his lap, frowning back, "Soulmates don't work like that. A rejected bond hurts both parties, not just the one who's been rejected," He said, his voice deeper, "You're meant to be Oikawa's omega, and without you, it hurts him as well."
"So I just wait until he realises that?" Kageyama asked, "Like Elizabeth?" He pointed at the book with a scoff and Hanamaki snorted.
"Yeah that's shit advice," He shrugged, "I mean we could talk to him but I doubt either of you would appreciate that and, honestly, Oikawa's already pissed as me."
"Because - you told me where he was?"
"Among other things, yeah." Sighing, Hanamaki pushed himself off of Matsukawa when he started to slide off again and just leant against the wall, "I just felt like I needed to apologise to you. You're younger than us and I used your feelings to help my friend out."
This was confusing. Hanamaki hadn't done anything wrong, not in Kageyama's eyes anyway. It was Oikawa's words that had hurt and they would have been the same words regardless of who had told him where to go.
"You really don't have to - "
There was a knock at the door and they all stopped to stare at it, before Kageyama's mother walked in with some biscuits, "I know you said 'no' to tea, but these are Tobio's favourite so they must be good."
"Thank you," Hanamaki grinned, immediately taking one and handing it to Matsukawa before having another himself. Kageyama watched as his mother left the room, still disbelieving that she'd allowed two alphas here, regardless of the fact that they were bonded already.
She'd always been so strict over things like this.
He snatched two biscuits for himself, eating them both with a confused scowl. He didn't realise that he was even making a face, however, until Hanamaki snorted when looking at him.
"Oikawa wasn't joking when he mentioned your angry faces." He said and Kageyama glanced up.
"He mentions me?" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth and he immediately felt his cheeks burn once he realised what he'd said.
"All the time," Hanamaki said whilst Matsukawa said, "Occasionally."
"Bad stuff?" They made a face and he nodded, expecting that really, "Does - does Oikawa-san know you came here?"
"Yeah, we told him we would," Hanamaki said, "He couldn't remember the address though so we had to ask Iwaizumi."
"Who else knows we're soulmates?"
"Just us four," Matsukawa said, "Oikawa shared it with us at a party once, between us."
"So," Kageyama dug his nails into his knee, "Kindaichi and Kunimi - "
"They seem to think that you don't have a soulmate mark at all," Hanamaki said, playing with a strand of hair at the top of his head, "Something about your personality?" Kageyama winced, looking away, "Means nothing to us though, don't worry. We like to make our own judgements over people and I've only ever met you on the other side of a volleyball court," He walked back to Matsukawa and sat back down heavily, on his lap, grinning when he heard him groan, "Right now, you just seem like a good, polite kid. I wouldn't have minded you as my kouhai."
Kageyama straightened, staring at him, and he pressed his lips together with how that made him feel, "Thank you," He paused then, before adding, "Could you please tell Oikawa-san that?"
They both laughed at that, and then Matsukawa glanced down at his phone when he recieved a text. He looked at Hanamaki afterwards and just said, "Oikawa," before the two of them simply got up to leave.
"Thank you for coming here," Kageyama said, quickly, "You didn't have to."
As he passed him by, Matsukawa put a hand on his shoulder, looking a little too seriously into his eyes, "We'll see you the next time we play against each other." He said.
"Or whenever Oikawa gets his head out his ass." Hanamaki added and Kageyama felt a little lighter at hearing that, as he followed them down to let them out. He waved goodbye at them as they walked away outside, before turning and practically walking into his mother.
She didn't look happy.
"I'm sorry," He apologised quickly, before even waiting to find out why she was mad, and she rolled her eyes.
"You're lucky they were here because I was ready to shout at you, a lot, for being out so late," She snapped, "I said be back before dark."
"I know. I'm sorry Mama," He assured her, "I didn't mean to stay that long."
She sighed, shaking her head, "Well it's the last time I let you." He lowered his head, and she placed a hand over it, "Alright, well you've got a few hours until bed. Go and choose a movie to watch with me, before you do." He looked up then to stare at her but she'd already turned away to head into the kitchen to warm up some rice to go with the film.
Somehow, without even knowing or asking about the reasons why, she always seemed to know when he was upset.
.
"Kageyama," Sugawara immediately approached him the next practice, looking concerned, but Kageyama was ready for what was coming.
He bowed quickly, shutting his eyes, "I'm sorry for my text," He said, "It wasn't your fault."
Tanaka skid to a halt from where he was jogging past into the gym at the display, and he stared at them, "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Sugawara said as Kageyama straightened but Tanaka wasn't so easily diverted, "Tanaka - "
"Oi, Kageyama, what's up?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips, "Why do you need to apologise to Suga-san?"
Kageyama turned to him, biting his lip, "Sugawara-san gave me some advice," He answered, "I used it, it didn't go well, and I was rude to him about it."
"It wasn't rude, Kageyama, you were probably upset," Sugawara gave Tanaka a meaningful look to give them privacy but it went right over his shaven head.
"What sort of advice?"
Kageyama almost told him the truth then before realising what he was doing and forcing himself to shut up. But then, some vengeful part of him wondered why?
Why should he still lie? He'd always done it because he'd known Oikawa wouldn't have liked it and because he was ashamed to have been rejected but Hanamaki and Matsukawa's conversation with him last night had relieved that part in him. Sugawara had been right, his team would understand.
With that in mind, he opened his mouth again, "He gave me advice about my soulmate."
Tanaka blinked twice and Sugawara jerked in surprise, "Huh?"
"He was giving me advice about my soulmate," Kageyama continued, "The one I've had since birth. I've lied before and said I didn't have one."
"Woah, hold on, hold on," Tanaka put his hands up, frowning, "So you do have a soulmate?" Kageyama nodded, "You've always had one?" He nodded again, "Well, why the hell would you lie about that?"
He sucked in a breath. Here it came, "Because he rejected me."
Tanaka shut his mouth with a snap, folding his arms across his chest and exhaling loudly, "Oh." He scratched at his head then, glancing at the gym where Daichi was now standing, watching them and waiting for them to enter. He'd likely want an explanation too and for once, Kageyama was in the perfect mood to give it to him, "So you've met them, then?"
"Yes. He's my senpai," Tanaka's face changed entirely then and Sugawara stepped forward, as though trying to both stop and encourage Kageyama from saying more, "You have too."
"I have?"
"Mhm. He’s Seijoh's Captain."
After a minute or so, Daichi finally stepped out of the gym to come toward the three of them, to ask what the hell was taking so long when he lurched back in shock at a sudden shout from Tanaka, wincing as it echoed across the whole area.
"The showboat?!"
Kageyama pressed his lips together and nodded whilst Sugawara pressed a hand to his forehead and shut his eyes.
.