Somewhere in Between

by vanillayves

Summary:

After he lazily tossed his shirt off and climbed into bed, Kou took out his phone for the first time that night and opened Instagram. It looked like Sousuke had posted a few new stories, which had Kou smiling before he even opened them. The first one was definitely taken in Sousuke’s dorm room, a photo of a cake with pink frosting and candles spelling out '20'. Kou’s smile dropped.

Fuck. It was Sousuke’s 20th birthday. And Kou had forgotten.

Chapter 1

Line 34, 14th stop. Kou was out of his seat and stepping off the bus before he fully realized he was even back in his hometown. He had long since stopped counting the stops on the commute home, and before he knew it he was unlocking his front door and taking off his shoes.

“Kou, you’re here! Perfect timing, I was about to order dinner!” Teru greeted him.

“Hey, Teru-nii.” Kou checked the clock– 8:23 PM. “You haven’t eaten dinner yet?”

His brother chuckled. “I was kept late at work today, and the Princess was napping when I got home, so I just let the both of us rest for a while.” 

“Sounds about right,” Kou said, dropping his bags and heading into the kitchen. “Are there any ingredients in here?”

Teru gave a small hum. “Should be.”

As Kou assessed the contents of their fridge and pulled out enough ingredients for a quick stir-fry, he noticed Teru’s eyes trained on him.

“Is something up, Teru-nii?” he gave his brother a worried glance as he started prepping dinner.

“I should be asking you the same question, Kou.”

Fuck. Was it that obvious?

Kou put on his best reassuring face. “What do you mean? I’m a college student, of course I look a little tired.”

Teru’s gaze didn’t falter. Kou sighed, pausing his pepper-cutting.

“I mean…” He started cutting again, “I feel weird, I guess. Tired. There isn’t really anything wrong, promise, just… weird.”

Teru stared for a moment longer before sighing. 

“If you say so. Don’t tire yourself out too much from cooking, Kou. We don’t need a fancy meal.” He left the kitchen, probably to get Tiara from her room.

Kou sighed as he turned his attention back to his cooking. He didn’t lie to Teru, not exactly. He didn’t feel great, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint a specific issue. How could he answer questions like “what’s wrong” when nothing was outright wrong? Classes were fine, friendships were fine, even if he felt a little lonely; he was physically fine. He was just… out of it, maybe. Isn’t it normal to feel out of place as a college freshman? 

—

Dinner was ready in the blink of an eye, and his whirlwind of a sister came barreling into the kitchen.

“Kou-oniichan!!”

Kou barely caught her as she crashed into him, “Hi, Tiara. I missed you.”

“I thought you were coming home on Saturday this week. You’re here early!”

Huh? That sounded familiar…

“I did? I guess I forgot.”

“Your Highness, could you help set the table?” Teru requested, entering the kitchen again. 

With Tiara now bouncing around the kitchen taking out dishes, Kou turned his attention to his brother. 

“Do you remember why I said I was coming home later this weekend?”

Teru shook his head. “You didn’t tell me, and I didn’t want to pry.”

Great. Kou was probably missing something because he was too tired to remember shit.

Tiara snapped him out of his thoughts. “All done!”

Kou patted her on the head. “Thank you, Tiara. Can you do one more thing for me and eat all your vegetables?”

As Tiara whined over vegetables and led most of the dinner’s conversation, Kou couldn’t find himself to be fully engaged. Teru definitely noticed. Kou couldn’t bring himself to care.

—

When everyone was finished eating, Kou urged Tiara to get to bed with a promise to hang out with her the next day. He tried to convince Teru to go rest too, but he insisted on helping with the clean-up. So, Kou wasn’t surprised when his brother started questioning him again.

“You know, Kou, you can tell me if something’s bothering you.”

Kou sighed, putting down the plate he was washing. “Nothing’s bothering me. Can’t you just take my word for it?”

Teru didn’t say anything, but the look on his face answered no. Well, maybe he could try putting his feelings into words.

“I mean…” Kou bit his lip. “I’ve just been really out of it, I guess. But I don’t know why. I’m doing okay with my grades and stuff, and I have friends…” He trailed off.

Teru narrowed his eyes. “How’s Mitsuba-kun?”

Kou nearly dropped his plate. The fuck? “S-Sousuke? He’s… fine. Why?”

Teru tilted his head to the side. “Just wondering”, But his eyes told another story. “So are you just generally feeling off? Do you think it’s burnout? Depression?”

“Depression sounds a little intense… I guess I might be burnt out, but I haven’t been super active or studying extra hard or anything.” He paused to think. “Maybe ‘just off’ wasn’t the best way to phrase it. I feel kinda… out of place?”

The dishes were washed by now, but Kou couldn’t bring himself to move out of his position in the kitchen.

“Out of place, huh?” Teru thought for a moment. “And you haven’t decided on a major yet, right?”

Kou shook his head.

“Then maybe… Do you think you might just not be cut out for college, then?”

What? What?

“Teru-nii…”

“Just a thought. Not everyone needs to go to college, you know. There are plenty of jobs you only need high school for, or you could just help out at home if you’re not ready to work. No pressure.”

“Are you saying… I’m not smart enough for college?”

Teru’s face dropped. “Kou, no! God, no! It just seems like you’re not happy at college. That life’s not for everyone.”

“But I–”

“Don’t tell me you’re happy right now, Kou. I know it’s not true.” Teru sighed. “Just think about it. I only want the best for you.” With that, he left the room.

What the fuck? How could he just say that? Honestly speaking, it’s not something Kou hasn’t considered before, but hearing someone else tell him he wasn’t meant to go to college still hurt. 

Kou had no idea how much time he spent just standing in the kitchen lost in thought, but when he heard Teru’s bedroom door shut, he snapped back to reality and felt exhaustion hit him all at once. He’d better lie down.

—

After he lazily tossed his shirt off and climbed into bed, Kou took out his phone for the first time that night and opened Instagram. It looked like Sousuke had posted a few new stories, which had Kou smiling before he even opened them. The first one was definitely taken in Sousuke’s dorm room, a photo of a cake with pink frosting and candles spelling out 20. Kou’s smile dropped.

Fuck. It was Sousuke’s 20th birthday. And Kou had forgotten.

No. No no no no no. How? How could he–?

The next story was a short video of Sousuke holding a slice of the cake surrounded by familiar faces– Nene, Yokoo, Satou, Hyuuga, Nanamine, Tsukasa.

Tsukasa? What the fuck was Tsukasa doing there? 

The third story was a photo of Sousuke taking a shot. Figures. 20. Drinking age. Adulthood. Probably the most important age to celebrate, of the most important person in Kou’s life, and he wasn’t there. 

The last story was a repost of Nene’s: “Happy birthday to the cutest kouhai ever!! <3<3 Thanks for being a great friend and last-minute photographer. Cheers to adulthood! 🥂 @mitsuba_flicks”

Kou groaned. He should have taken the first bus back to campus the moment Tiara said he was early. What could he even say to Sousuke? “Sorry I wasn’t there to celebrate your birthday, I completely forgot!” How stupid. Kou checked the time. It was 11:03 PM; technically still his birthday, but it felt wrong to message Sousuke now. Maybe dropping out was a good idea after all. Kou wouldn’t have to face anyone over there again. 

He didn’t dare open Sousuke’s story again. The only thing worse than the guilt would be seeing how happy Sousuke was without him. He definitely ruined whatever shot he might have had at a relationship with him now.

Wait. Next to the story bar, the message icon indicated that Kou had 5 unread messages. Had he left his phone on silent all day? God, maybe something really was seriously wrong with him. He opened Nene’s chat first.

 

nene • @yashiro

kou-kun we’re at mitsuba-kun’s dorm! will you be here soon? 5:57 PM

where are you?? 6:13 PM

kou-kun are you okay? did something happen?? call me!!! 7:23 PM

 

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Kou thought to himself. Why did you leave your phone on silent? He reluctantly opened Sousuke’s chat.

 

Mitsuba Sousuke ✔ • @mitsuba_flicks

i saw a crazy looking squirrel earlier and it reminded me of you lol
anyway i’m seeing you later today right? 3:15 PM

 

Kou shut his phone off and buried his head in his pillow. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Chapter 2

Summary:

The Minamoto brothers talk more about dropping out of college and Kou gets some texts from Nene!

Kou woke up the next morning feeling even worse somehow. He checked the time on his phone– 5:59 AM. Ugh. The memories of last night had already rushed back to him, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again. He mindlessly opened Instagram. No new messages, thank god. He should at least reply to Nene’s, though.

 

nene • @yashiro

Hey sorry I didn’t see your messages
6:01 AM I’m okay, just had to go home for the weekend 😅 Hope you had fun last night!

 

That should do it for now. No one needs to know he just forgot, at least not for now. Maybe he’d be better off if everyone thought something had happened to him. Was that morally fucked up? Probably. Kou sighed. He should at least eat some breakfast and do something productive if he was up this early.

—

After throwing on some clean clothes, Kou found Teru already in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. 

“Morning, Teru-nii.” 

“Good morning, Kou. Sleep well?”

“Nope.”

Teru hummed. “Did you give any thought to what we talked about last night?”

“I mean…” Kou said slowly, “My first year is almost over. I made it through without anything bad happening.”

“I’m very proud of you, Kou. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll keep going with no complications. To put it bluntly, you look miserable.”

That was harsh. But Teru wouldn’t say something just to be hurtful. Still, this serious look in his eyes always made his words sting more.

“Look. I know you’re an adult and can make your own decisions, but you have a habit of following other people without realizing you don’t actually want to. Remember when you did kendo for 2 years just because I did, even though you didn’t enjoy it?”

Kou looked away. “I thought I’d start liking it eventually…”

Teru sighed, “What’s keeping you over there? Why do you feel so committed to this?”

'Sousuke' was Kou’s first thought. Isn’t that stupid?

“Well, I made some good friends there, and a degree would be useful for the future–”

“You don’t even know what degree you’re going for, Kou.”

“But–”

“And as for your friends, you can visit them anytime. I have a suspicion that there’s another reason you haven't mentioned.”

Leave it to Teru to see right through him. Kou took a breath. 

“I just…I don’t want to be a disappointment.” he finally said, quietly.

Teru’s eyes widened and he immediately raced over to where Kou was standing, putting his hands on Kou’s shoulders.

“Kou, no. You are not a disappointment. Not to me, not to Tiara, not to your friends.”

Kou felt the tears building up in his eyes. How pathetic.

“You were always top of your class, Teru-nii. You graduated early and you have a degree and you work a decent job and you’re so cool, but I just– I just can’t live up to that.”

“You don’t need to.”

“But I–”

“Kou. Listen to me. I went to school and I work this job because they’re what’s right for me. I’m happy with this. You don’t need to push yourself into things that make you miserable just so you could be more like your brother. The only way you’ll disappoint any of us is by doing things you’re unhappy with.”

“Teru-nii…”

Teru wrapped his arms around Kou. When was the last time they hugged like this? Kou couldn’t remember.

“Please just do what will make you happy. I hate seeing you like this. Stay in college if that’s what you really want, but–”

“Okay,” Kou whispered. “I’ll do it. I’ll drop out.”

Teru pulled back and gave Kou’s shoulders a small squeeze. 

“Good. I’m proud of you.” He checked his watch. “Now, I’d better get to work.”

“They need security at 7 in the morning?”

Teru pulled his security jacket and hat from the coat rack and smiled. “They need security 24/7. I’m just glad it’s not the night shift this time.” 

The brothers gave their goodbyes for the day, and after Teru left Kou still felt uneasy. This was his first time opening up so much to his brother in a long time, and he didn’t remember the last time Teru had shown so much concern for his wellbeing. Still, he wasn’t fully committed to the idea of dropping out of college. Well, it was the first day of March. He had the month to figure it out.

A buzz from his pocket snapped Kou out of his thoughts. He opened it to a new message from Nene.

 

nene • @yashiro

thank goodness you’re okay!!

did you tell mitsuba-kun? 7:14 AM

 

Kou sighed.

 

nene • @yashiro

No 😭😭

I felt too guilty

oh i see :<

you should call him!!

he was really sad that you weren’t there last night </3

Are you sure that’s a good idea!?

i’m sure he’ll understand!!

he was definitely worried about you :<

He hasn’t called or texted though 😥

i think he just didn’t want to bother you

he’s not ignoring you, kou-kun! give him a call!!

Okay I will

Thanks Nene-senpai!

no problem!! good luck!! 

i have to go to work now but i’ll ttyl!! 7:20 AM

Kou double-tapped her message and turned off his phone. He was not calling Sousuke.

Notes:

sorry this chapter was a little shorter and more dialogue-heavy!! the mitsukou content is coming i promise...
tell me all your thoughts!! <3<3 it's only been like 14 hours but i really appreciate the support this is getting already!! love u all

Chapter 3

Summary:

Kou runs into Sousuke during a convenience store run :3

The rest of the weekend was relatively uneventful; Kou hung out with Tiara as promised and got his much-needed break from his dreary dorm building, all the while trying not to think about Sousuke. He stretched out his stay for as long as possible, taking the last bus to campus on Sunday night. He made a point not to check his socials on the bus, only using his phone to play music, and tiredly opened his dorm room door around 11 PM. He flicked on the lights and looked around. There were clothes on his bed. There was trash on his desk. There were books scattered on the floor. Kou wanted to scream. 

—

After haphazardly shoving clothes into his laundry bin and making his desk usable again, Kou finally pulled out his phone. No new notifications. Lovely. While it was nice having a room to himself ever since his roommate moved out during their first semester, it just made him even lonelier than he already was. He could count the number of close friends he had on one hand, and he felt like he barely saw them nowadays. It’s not like it was any of their faults, though, when Kou was out here missing birthdays. He did it to himself, didn’t he? Teru was probably right. Kou wasn’t benefitting from college; he was actively making it worse for himself. What was he even doing here?

Before Kou could spiral even further, he heard his stomach growl embarrassingly loudly. Huh? Did he seriously forget to eat dinner at home before leaving? Jesus. He needed to get his shit together before finals. 

The only food Kou had in the dorm was cereal, but he only realized after pouring some into a bowl and opening his fridge that he had no milk left. He groaned. Instant noodles weren’t an option since his portable stove was confiscated by the RA a couple weeks ago, and he’d need milk for his morning coffee anyway, so it looked like he’d have to walk to the closest convenience store. 

—

He hadn’t even bothered making himself look presentable before he started walking downtown, just throwing on a light coat and dropping his keys, wallet, and phone into its pockets. 

With the milk already in his basket, Kou found himself looking through the snack aisles. Maybe Sousuke would like one of the character-themed snacks; it could be a late birthday gift. A shitty one, but maybe he would still appreciate it. Kou spotted a bag of pink penguin-shaped mochi candies and instantly threw it in the basket. Score. He wasn’t sure how he’d give it to the guy without it being the most awkward experience of his life, but he could figure that out later. For now, he just needed to buy his groceries and get–

“Minamoto-kun?”

Shit. Kou turned around and there was Mitsuba Sousuke, looking right at him. 

“S-Sousuke?” Kou stuttered out. Suddenly he was self-conscious and regretting his choice of clothing. Here Sousuke was, wearing a sweater vest over a dress shirt with a cardigan neatly tied around his waist, hair perfectly done, meanwhile Kou hadn’t looked in a mirror since the morning. Realistically, it had probably only been 5 or so days since he last saw Sousuke, but he couldn’t help the swarm of emotions that came over him. Just seeing his face again, those big pink eyes which looked full of… concern?

Sousuke’s voice was close to a whisper when he asked, “Are you okay?”

Everyone was so worried about Kou these days; it was uncomfortable. Kou chuckled and gave Sousuke a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Something came up at home, but nothing happened. Promise.”

The concerned look in Sousuke’s eyes turned to relief as he formed his usual teasing smile. “You sure? Because you look awful, Minamoto-kun.” A rude statement, but it didn’t sting as much as some of Sousuke’s comments usually do. Kou could tell there was an underlying worry in what he was trying to say. God, he felt so guilty.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Welp. He didn’t get a chance to rehearse an apology, but he’d better get it out now before he seemed like an even bigger asshole. “Listen, Sousuke, I’m really sorry that I missed your birthday. I’ve been so out of it, I haven’t even bothered to check–”

Sousuke suddenly started laughing, with an unplaceable look in his eye. 

“Sousuke…?”

Sousuke walked over to Kou, smiling. “Too bad, I don’t forgive you!”

Oh. Harsh. Before Kou could respond, Sousuke leaned in even closer. 

“Looks like you’ll have to make it up to me!”

Huh? Kou was expecting a barrage of insults, not Sousuke’s signature playful grin. 

“Uh, yeah, okay. Is there… anything you had in mind, or…?”

Sousuke reached into Kou’s basket and snatched the bag of candy. 

“First, I’ll be taking these. Since when did you eat this kind of stuff, anyway?”

Kou could barely form words because Sousuke was so close to him, so all he could get out was, “O-Oh sure, I actually got those for you–”

“Hah! Lie all you want, Minamoto-kun, but I know you’re just embarrassed that eating something this cute would ruin your macho persona! How sad!”

“Macho? What are you talking about?” Kou sighed. “Could you at least give that back so I can pay for it?”

Sousuke giggled and dropped the bag back into Kou’s basket, before asking, “Do you need anything else, Minamoto-kun? I was about to check out.”

“Nah, I just needed milk. Wanna walk together?” 

“Duh.” he responded, then added softly, “I missed you, Minamoto-kun.”

Kou’s heartbeat was so loud in his ears he was almost sure Sousuke could hear it too. Did he really miss Kou that much? No, wait. This was probably just pity, since everyone seemed to think Kou had a serious emergency instead of just being a forgetful idiot. Fuck, Sousuke was staring at him. He needed to reply.

“I missed you too, Sousuke; sorry again.” Kou gestured to the basket with the candy. “Is this really all you want from me to make up for your birthday?”

Sousuke scoffed. “Of course not!” He pointed at Kou. “You’re taking me out to dinner tomorrow.”

Dinner. With Sousuke. Holy shit. Fuck. Yes. 

“And just to be clear, you’re paying.”

Fuck. Respond. Say something. Idiot.

“O-Oh, sure. Where and when?”

Sousuke hummed. “I have a gig at five but I don’t know how long it’ll take, so after that I guess?”

“Maybe I could join you for that too, then? I’m not doing anything.”

Sousuke blinked in surprise, before laughing sheepishly. “You know, you don’t have to go if you’re not interested just because you feel bad about my birthday.” 

Kou was getting déjà vu from this conversation. He really wished Teru and Sousuke wouldn’t blend together in his head. 

“I’m not!” Kou insisted. He rubbed at the back of his neck, “I just realized I haven’t seen you at work before, and I was kinda wondering what your photography process is like.”

“Oh, I get it.” Sousuke put a hand over his mouth. “I bet you’re hoping it’s some kind of dirty photoshoot so you can get a glimpse. You pervert!”

“Jesus, Sousuke, we’re in public!” Kou whisper-shouted.

Sousuke started walking towards the kiosk, “Well, it’s nothing like what you’re thinking, so I guess I’ll let you tag along. Since you want to see it so bad.”

Grateful that Sousuke wasn’t going to continue his ‘Kou is a pervert’ bit in the middle of a convenience store, Kou joined him at the kiosk and paid for the milk and candy. He glanced at Sousuke’s basket. 

“You sure you don’t want me to pay for any of your stuff?”

Sousuke snorted. “Get a job before you act all chivalrous. I can pay for myself.”

“Oh yeah?” Kou replied, “At least I have money saved. Even if you have a job, you’re still a shopaholic.”

Sousuke laughed, and it was one of the most beautiful things Kou had ever heard.

“Okay fine, you can pay for these if you really want to.” He handed him a bottle of glue and a pack of laminating paper. “But I’m buying the rest, got it?”

Kou nodded, suppressing a huge grin.

—

“So, was the party fun?” Kou asked as they walked out of the store. 

“I… think so," Sousuke answered. “I kinda got blackout drunk, so I forgot a good chunk of it, but I had fun at the start.” He gave an almost rueful smile.

“Well, that’s good," Kou replied. “I wish I could have been there.”

He could have. He definitely could have. He should have.

“Hey, now that you’re 20, you should buy us some alcohol next time we hang out!”

Sousuke hummed. “Maybe, to make up for the party.”

“Huh? Isn’t that what tomorrow’s dinner is for?”

“Hah! That’s not even the start of it, lame-earring! It was my twentieth. Two-zero. Big deal. We’re gonna do a lot more than just dinner. I can add drinking to the list.”

“You have a list?” 

“I’m about to”, Sousuke replied smugly. “What, are you opposed to hanging out with me more than once? Do you not feel any guilt whatsoever?”

“No, no! I do!” Kou sputtered. “Don’t put words in my mouth!” 

Sousuke laughed. “Cool. It’s gonna be a fun week, then.”

Kou smiled. A week! A week of hanging out with Sousuke! Maybe missing the party was a good thing; he didn’t like having to share Sousuke with other people anyway. God, what a selfish thought. He felt guilt wash over him without even having done anything.

“I’m looking forward to it”, Kou said with a smile as they approached their campus. 

Sousuke smiled back. “You’d better. I’m gonna head back to my dorm, but I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m glad I ran into you.”

“Me too.” With a wave, Kou began turning the other way to head to his building, before Sousuke called out again.

“Oh, and Minamoto-kun?”

Kou turned back around. “Yeah?”

Sousuke was fidgeting. “Um… You can tell me if anything comes up, you know. We were–” He looked away. “I  was worried.”

Oh. Kou was the worst friend ever.

“Yeah, definitely. I’m sorry, Sousuke. I didn’t think about how worried you must have been.”

Sousuke didn’t say ‘it’s okay’ or anything; just nodded, then pulled the candy out from his convenience store bag and smirked. “And by the way, you’d better get me a better gift than just these. Seeya!”

And with that, Sousuke turned and headed in the direction of his dorm.

Notes:

finally the boys interact! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! let me know all your thoughts, i love hearing from you!! <3<3

Chapter 4

Summary:

Kou talks to Nene and joins Sousuke at work :)

Notes:

sorry this chapter took a while!! it's a bit longer than the others :") enjoy!!

Monday mornings were something Kou always looked forward to. His earliest Monday class was at noon, and it turns out the same was true for Nene, so the two of them met over coffee every week.

After hopping out of bed and taking a quick shower, Kou began his walk to the café on campus, trying to ignore the fact that he had hardly slept.

When he got there, Nene was already sitting at a table with a notebook out. She didn’t notice Kou until he sat down in the chair across from her, drawing her attention.

“Ah, Kou-kun! Sorry I didn’t see you!”, she apologized.

Kou chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, senpai. Do you have an exam today or something?” he asked, putting his bag down.

Nene sighed and put her hands over her face in frustration. “Yeah, Korean.”

Kou winced. He had only ever studied English as another language, but he heard Korean was almost just as hard. Just looking at Nene’s notebook was enough to make his head spin.

Nene suddenly shut her notebook and snapped her head up. “That’s not important right now though! Did you call Mitsuba-kun?”

Fuck, he should have known Nene would ask him that. His mind scrambled for a response that didn’t make him seem like an asshole, but before he had to answer Nene’s question, their table’s waiter arrived, asking the two for their orders.

As they told their waiter their drink choices, Kou took the extra minute to think of a good response, but he gave up by the time they were alone again. There was no point in lying. 

Kou sighed. “I didn’t call Sousuke.”

Nene’s eyes blew wide open. “What? Why not? Were things at home that serious?”

Kou waved his hands in front of his face. “No, no! I just… got distracted. But I ran into him last night and we talked, so don’t worry about that.”

Nene furrowed her brows. “Did it go okay? Did you tell him what happened?”

That was weird. Why did she sound so concerned?

“Um, yeah? Pretty much. Did something happen at the party? You seem pretty worried.”

His senpai sighed. “Mitsuba-kun was really upset that you weren’t there. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but he was crying by the end of the party.”

What??

“He… was?”

Kou recalled Sousuke telling him he didn’t remember the latter part of the party. Just how much did that guy drink?

“Yeah, he was… really drunk”, Nene laughed a bit. “He kept babbling about how you hated him or something.”

“What? I’d never–”

“I know, I know. I think Mitsuba-kun knows too; he was just drunk. He seemed more upset about the possibility of you hating him than the possibility of you being hurt or something.”

Kou wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“I’m glad you cleared things up last night, though!”

Before Kou could respond, the waiter came back and put their drinks on the table. Kou picked his latte up immediately; he desperately needed caffeine. Nene did the same with her tea. 

“He told me he had a good time”, Kou said, after taking a long sip. “Do you think he really did?”

“I mean…” Nene put her cup down, “He was smiling and laughing and everything, but I could tell he wasn’t all there. He was probably just being courteous.”

“Oh.” was all Kou could say for a second. He didn’t think he’d hurt Sousuke that badly just by not being there, and a small, fucked up part of him was glad to hear that Sousuke valued his presence enough to be so upset over it. That thought made him feel even guiltier. Kou put a hand over his face. 

“God, I feel terrible.”

“Oh, Kou-kun, it’s not your fault! You had a reason not to be ther–”

“No, Nene-senpai, I–” Kou took a breath. “I forgot.”

Nene blinked. “Huh?”

“I went home because I forgot about Sousuke’s birthday.” Kou let out a mirthless laugh. “I’ve been forgetting everything these days; it’s kind of scary.”

“Oh, Kou-kun…” Nene started. 

“Actually, I…” Kou scratched his neck, “I think I might drop out of college.”

Nene nearly dropped her cup. “What?”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing something thinking and…”

Then maybe… Do you think you might just not be cut out for college, then?

Kou took another sip of his coffee to steady himself, “I just don’t think I’m cut out for it, you know?”

“Kou-kun, where is this coming from? Is there something going on? If there is, you can tell me anyth–”

“I’m okay, Nene-senpai. I just… I dunno. There’s not really anything going on, but I just feel kinda… off.” He smiled in an attempt to not to worry his senpai too much. “It’s kinda hard to explain.”

Nene still looked panicked.

“Senpai, I promise nothing happened. It’s been at the back of my mind for a while, and I just think it would be best for me. I’ve been forgetting everything and I’m just so out of it, and I think if I wasn’t a student anymore, I wouldn’t be… like that, you know?”

Nene sipped her tea and nodded slowly. “Yeah… I think I get it. Well, thank you for telling me, Kou-kun! I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way.”

That uncomfortable feeling was back again. Kou understood why everyone was saying this kind of stuff to him these days, but he didn’t need sympathy just for living his life. 

He gave Nene an awkward chuckle. “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine, promise.”

Change the subject. Now.

“How was your weekend though, senpai?”

Nene seemed to notice the very purposeful change of conversation, but didn’t comment on it.

“It was good! Amane-kun took me on another date on Saturday.”

Kou perked up. “Oh, Sousuke’s physics tutor?”

Nene gave him a strange look. “Yeah, and also the guy that I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now.”

Kou felt his face heat up. He was doing it again – bringing up Sousuke in every conversation. How embarrassing.

Nene giggled. “He’s a good guy, I think. Even if his sense of humour is a little weird.”

“His brother is also a freak.”

“Kou-kun, don’t say things like that! I don’t totally get Tsukasa-kun, but he’s friendly!”

“He’s friendly to you. I don’t like the way he treats Sousuke.”

Nene tilted her head, “He was acting normally on Friday.”

Oh right, Tsukasa was at the party too.

“Really? He didn’t do anything weird?”

Nene shook her head with creased brows. “Seriously, he didn’t do anything.” Her expression shifted to a knowing smile. “I think you might be a little jealous, Kou-kun.”

How was everyone reading him like a fucking book lately?

“I’m not! I mean– I dunno. I just get a bad vibe from that guy.” Kou sighed. “But Amane seems alright; I’m glad you like the time you spend with him.”

Nene smiled in understanding. “Thanks, Kou-kun. You’re a good friend, you know. I’ll miss you if you do end up dropping out.”

Kou smiled. “I’ll miss you too, senpai.” He checked the time– one hour until class. “I think you should probably study some more for your Korean exam”, he told Nene. “It’s getting close to noon.”

Nene shot out of her chair. “Ack! You’re right, I should head to the library!” She started hurriedly packing her bag to leave. “Thanks again for catching up! Good luck with Mitsuba-kun!” she called as she scurried out of the café, leaving Kou standing in confusion. Good luck with Sousuke? What did that mean?

—

Monday mornings were great, but Monday afternoons were terrible, because that meant calculus and geography back to back. Kou tried his best to focus on integrals and globalization instead of thinking of Sousuke. He probably didn’t even have to study if he was going to drop out, but better safe than sorry. His efforts proved useless, though. It was like every time he blinked, he would see glimpses of pink hair or slender fingers holding a camera. Every question on paper would spark a question in his head. What should I wear today? Would he make fun of me if I dressed nice? Would it be a good or bad thing if he didn’t? All he could do was pray that none of his professors would call on him.

As soon as the clock hit 4:00 PM, Kou was bolting out of his geography classroom and making a beeline for his dorm building. As soon as he reached his room, he threw his bag on the floor and immediately started pulling out the clothes he had planned to wear out with Sousuke. He took off the white hoodie he was wearing and opened his closet door. Already having decided what to wear instead of taking notes earlier, he immediately took his cream coloured button-up, brown vest, brown slacks, and orange tie from their respective hangers. A little formal, sure, but this was as close to a date with Sousuke as he was gonna get; he wanted to at least look nice. He checked the time– 4:10 PM. Oh. He still had nearly a whole hour. 

He decided not to get dressed yet, and instead picked up his soccer ball and started to shuffle it between his feet. His mind wandered to his meeting with Sousuke again. I missed you, Minamoto-kun kept echoing through his mind. God, that guy was gonna be the death of him. 

Kou let himself be lost in his thoughts while aimlessly kicking his ball around the dorm, and when he felt like enough time had passed he checked his phone– 4:26. Oh. Well, if he got ready now and didn’t walk too quickly, he could get to the fine arts building fifteen minutes early. Early is on time, right? He’d rather sit idly over there than in his room, anyway. 

After putting on his maybe-too-formal outfit, Kou made sure he had his keys and wallet before stepping out of his room. Just as he finished locking his door, a door opened from the other side of the hallway. 

“Kou!”

Kou turned around, now face to face with Yokoo and Satou.

“Oh, hey guys! What’s up?”

“We’re just heading out to get some food.” Yokoo told him. “What are you all dressed up for?”

“Going on a date or something?” Satou asked. 

“Oh, no– Sousuke and I are getting dinner later.”

Satou tilted his head. “So… you're going on a date.”

Kou chose to ignore that comment. “I just missed his birthday celebration on Friday, so I’m making up for it by treating him to dinner.”

“Oh, right!” Yokoo exclaimed. “How come you weren’t there?”

Kou fidgeted with his keys. “Um, I had some family stuff come up. Did you guys enjoy the party, though?”

Either Yokoo understood that Kou didn’t want to talk about it or he was satisfied with Kou’s answer, because he didn’t pry into it.

“Yeah, it was nice to see Sousuke again! I haven’t seen him much since orientation week.”

“Same. We could tell he missed you, though.” Satou added.

Kou gave a lopsided smile. “So I’ve heard.”

Satou smiled and nodded, then grabbed Yokoo’s arm. “Well, it was nice seeing you, man. Have fun on your date!” Yokoo gave a wave, and the two were off. 

Yokoo and Satou were always pushing Kou to start dating and assuming romantic intentions when he was around girls, so he knew he probably shouldn’t read too much into that comment, but his mind couldn’t help but wander in that direction as he walked out of his residence hall. Do we really look that much like a couple? Does Sousuke know that we do? 

Kou put in his earbuds and turned on some music to focus on while walking to the fine arts building, forcing himself to snap out of his yearning. Having thoughts like this right before spending time with the person at the center of them would not be good for him. 

—

When he got to the fine arts lobby, Kou was surprised to find Sousuke already there, setting up his camera on a tripod. 

“Hey, Sousuke," he greeted.

Clearly too focused on his camera to notice Kou walking in, Sousuke startled. 

“Mi-Minamoto-kun!” His face went red. “Why are you here so early? Trying to creep on me or something? And what are you so dressed up for?”

Kou rolled his eyes. 

“I came to help set up,” he lied, ignoring the question about his clothes. “Need help with the camera?” Sousuke made a disgusted face.

“As if I'd ever let you near my camera, you pervert! Nobody is allowed to touch my baby!” Sousuke shouted. He cleared his throat and went back to a normal volume, “I'm pretty much done setting up, though. If you could set up that ring light,” he gestured to a box near Kou, “all we'll have to do is just wait for Yamabuki to get here.”

Kou wasn't disturbed by Sousuke's mini outburst; his camera was his prized possession, after all. He nodded and walked over to the box Sousuke pointed to and started putting the pieces of the light together. 

After a few minutes of hesitantly setting up the light, Kou turned to Sousuke.

“Does this look right?” he asked.

Sousuke looked over and hummed. “Yeah, it looks fine.”

Sousuke put his camera down and checked his phone. He sighed. “If he doesn't get here in 15 minutes, I'm charging a late fee.”

“Who is this guy, anyway? He's a dancer, right?” Kou asked, sitting down on one of the lobby's chairs.

“Yamabuki Lemon. He's the captain of the dance team, and also Amane-senpai's roommate.” Sousuke sat down next to him. He typed something on his phone, then handed it to Kou. “These are some of his videos; he's really good.”

Before Kou got to see the videos, though, a notification popped up on the screen– a text from Nene.

 

good luck tonight, mitsuba-kun! ;)

 

Sousuke shrieked and rushed to grab his phone back. 

Kou tilted his head. “What's tonight? Are you doing something after dinner?”

Sousuke went red. “N-None of your business, Minamoto-kun! H-Hey, I hear footsteps! I bet he's here!”

And sure enough, Yamabuki strolled into the fine arts lobby, raising his hand in a casual wave.

“Yo. Sorry I'm late; practice was a little long.” He glanced between the two of them. “Are you both photographers, or…?”

“Hah! As if this idiot could take a decent photo!”

Kou turned towards Sousuke. “Hey–”

“Anyway! We're just doing headshots, right? Do you have a preference for where you stand?”

Yamabuki shrugged. “Up to you; you’re the photographer.”

Kou sat in the same chair for the whole photoshoot, watching how professional Sousuke could act, how talented he was at his art. He was so focused and patient, even when he somehow had to remind Yamabuki to put his phone down while getting his photo taken. He’d seen Sousuke take photos before, but seeing him at a paid gig brought out a completely different side to him. Kou was sure he looked like an idiot the way he was sitting and staring, but he didn’t care, because whenever Sousuke caught his eye and gave him a little smile, nothing else mattered.

Notes:

a few things to note:
1) kou is on the university's soccer team (b league; yokoo and satou are in a league) in this au, and he met yokoo and satou through that :)
2) the outfit kou is wearing on the date is based on the tbhk bear merch line !
3) nene knows about both of the boys' feelings for each other, but while mitsuba complains to her all the time, kou hasn't explicitly stated any romantic feelings

i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! please let me know all your thoughts!!! <3<3

Chapter 5

Summary:

They go on their dinner date :)

After dropping Sousuke’s camera equipment off at his dorm, the two made their way over to a booth in a family restaurant that Sousuke frequented. Kou expected to feel nervous, but everything just felt… normal. Maybe he hyped it up a little too much in his head; this was just dinner with his best friend, after all. He took in Sousuke’s outfit– he was wearing his favourite pink cardigan and scarf, covering his hands with his sleeves like usual. Kou was seriously starting to feel overdressed. He really played this up in his head, didn’t he? 

Sousuke’s voice snapped him out of his reverie. “Have you ever eaten here, Minamoto-kun?” he asked, picking up a menu.

“I didn’t even know this place existed.”

“That’s because you only leave campus to go home or buy groceries”, Sousuke sighed.

“That’s not true!” Kou argued.

Sousuke gave him a look. “Sure. Whatever you say.” he replied dully.

“I mean… I guess I haven’t been going out much lately. I’ve just been–”

“What, busy? I thought soccer didn’t start for another month.” Sousuke snapped. 

“Why do you know that?” Sousuke sounded weirdly adamant about Kou being lazy. “And why do you care?”

“I just…” Sousuke looked down at his menu, avoiding eye contact. “We haven’t been spending much time together lately, but it doesn’t seem like you’re busy with anything. You’re always going home on weekends and I just don’t know what you’re up to. It feels–”  

“Good evening! Do you know what you’d like to order?”

Kou nearly jumped out of his seat; he had been so focused on Sousuke that he didn’t notice the waitress approaching their table.

“U-Um, yes; I’ll have the crab croquette and fillet cutlet.” Kou told her. 

“And I’ll have the seasonal assorted cutlet, please. And a small hakutsuru. Thank you!” Sousuke smiled sweetly as if he didn’t order the most expensive thing on the menu and alcohol on top of that. 

After Sousuke showed the waitress his ID and she left their booth, his face fell a bit. Kou couldn’t take it.

“I’m sorry, Sousuke. I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way. I–” He paused. “Teru-nii thinks I might be depressed.” Sousuke’s eyes widened. “Don’t worry, though!” Kou assured. “I’ve just been, well, out of it. I don’t even realize how much time passes anymore; I’m just, like, stuck in my own head. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud, though,” he trailed off. Explaining his mental state was still difficult, with how dumb his struggles sounded.

“Oh,” was all Sousuke could say for a second. Then, after a beat, “You never told me.”

“I didn’t think it was that serious”, Kou replied honestly. “I thought the weird feeling would go away, but it’s like I blinked and two months passed.”

Sousuke was silent. 

“Hey, enough about me! This is your birthday dinner!” Kou put on a smile that definitely looked as forced as it was, “I want to hear how you’ve been.”

Sousuke squinted at him.

“Please, Sousuke? I don’t want to fight during dinner. We can talk more about it later, promise.”

Sousuke sighed. “Fine. But nothing super interesting has been happening to me lately. Just school and work.”

“How’s tutoring?”

Sousuke stuck his tongue out in disgust. “It’s physics. What do you expect?”

Kou shrugged. “I was just wondering what Amane’s like, since senpai’s going out with him and all.”

Sousuke hummed. “He’s nice. But annoying. He doesn’t just help me with my homework, he keeps explaining everything until I understand it. Which is the worst because I don’t!”

Kou chuckled; he couldn’t help it. Seeing Sousuke complain was always entertaining with how expressive he was. 

“Hey, don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t help it.”

“Oh you’d better help it, or I’m ordering two desserts instead of one!”

“You’re getting dessert, too?” Kou could already feel his wallet aching.

Sousuke just shrugged, smug. “Not a birthday without one, right? Plus,” he pointed an accusatory finger at Kou, “you’re the one who’s always calling me a shopaholic and telling me not to spend my money! So I’ll just take advantage of yours instead!”

Kou groaned. “Yeah, sake and two desserts aren’t really helping your shopaholic case, Sousuke.”

Sousuke just laughed, clearly pleased, if not a little relieved by the interaction. 

Their waitress returned with their food, and the two students settled back into a playful conversation.

“So why are you dressed like that, again?” Sousuke asked, reaching over the table to take one of Kou’s cutlets. 

“Hey, you have an assorted plate! That means I have to try all of yours!”

“Nuh uh,” Sousuke replied, despite already cutting off a small piece of each kind of cutlet on his plate. “You didn’t answer my question, though."

Kou felt his face heat up, remembering the real reason behind his outfit choice.

“I was under the impression that this was a ‘dress nice’ kind of dinner,” was what he ended up going with. 

Sousuke snorted. “What, like a fancy dinner date?”

“Well–”

“Kidding! As if I would date someone who dressed that lame!” Sousuke laughed, but it wasn’t quite as light and airy as his laugh from earlier.

Oh. Right. It was stupid to think that they looked like a couple. It was a good thing that Kou got a reminder that Sousuke was way out of his league before he did anything stupid. 

“Ha, ha. Insult me all you want, but I know you’ve worn that outfit plenty of times before. I heard that outfit repeating is a crime in the fashion world.”

Sousuke let out an exaggerated gasp. “Minamoto-kun! I’ll have you know that the only thing worse than an outfit repeater is an outfit repeater rememberer!”

Kou was pretty sure he’d heard Sousuke say something like that before, a quote from some American movie. He didn’t quite remember.

Sousuke picked up one of the pieces he’d cut and moved his chopsticks across the table. “Okay, Minamoto-kun, say ah!”

Kou blinked. “Huh?”

“I’m letting you try each of my cutlets; be grateful. Now eat it before I change my mind!”

Sousuke was feeding him. With his own chopsticks. What. What. Huh. What. 

Kou’s face turned red as he delicately took the cutlet into his mouth. It was probably tasty, but he didn’t notice. All he could focus on was the fact that Sousuke had just fed him. It was embarrassing to get so worked up over it, Kou was aware, but he couldn’t help it. 

He looked back at Sousuke and noticed a slight red tint to his face, too. Or maybe he was imagining it. Sousuke picked up another piece. 

“Okay, next one. Open wide,” he instructed. 

Kou ate this one a little quicker, unable to bring himself to make eye contact in the process.

“‘s good,” he said, realizing he’d been completely silent.

“One more,” Sousuke said, and– no, Kou definitely wasn’t imagining it. Sousuke’s face had gotten even redder. 

Kou decided to take a risk and kept looking at Sousuke as he ate the last piece, and Sousuke was intently watching his face with an expression that Kou couldn’t figure out at all. Was his lip trembling? He almost looked feverish.

“Are you feeling okay?” Kou asked after swallowing. 

“Hah? Wh-Why wouldn’t I? I can hold my alcohol, Minamoto-kun!" Oh right– Sousuke had ordered sake. That must be why his face was red. "Just eat your food, don’t look at me all weird like that!” Sousuke snapped. 

And so he did, and when their waitress collected their dishes, Sousuke ordered two desserts, just as he’d warned– a matcha tiramisu and a yuzu sorbet. Luckily for Kou’s wallet, though, they weren’t the most expensive items on the dessert menu this time. 

The sweets came out relatively quickly, and as they did, Sousuke slid the tiramisu towards Kou. 

“Oh, want me to try it first?”

Sousuke scoffed. “No, idiot. It’s for you. You like this kind of stuff, right?”

And with that, Kou’s heart swelled. It’s such a simple thing, to remember what kind of food someone likes, and Kou has definitely done similar things more times than he could count, but it still meant so much to see that Sousuke ordered something for him. Even if Kou was the one paying. 

He smiled. “Thanks, Sousuke.”

Sousuke blushed again. “You’re still paying for it, stupid. And don’t eat it all! I want a bite, too!”

Kou chuckled and took a spoonful of Sousuke’s sorbet. “Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to tell me.”

Sousuke smiled at that, and it wasn’t his teasing one; it was the soft and genuine smile that people didn’t get to see very often. But Kou did, and it was his biggest accomplishment.

—

As the two of them started walking back to campus with Kou’s wallet 6,720 yen lighter, Sousuke turned to Kou with a serious look on his face. 

“So,” he started, “you said we could talk about it after dinner.”

Kou was surprised by the sudden switch-up; he didn’t expect Sousuke to still remember that. 

“Right. I did,” he said, dropping his gaze.

“How long have you been feeling this way?” Sousuke looked at him with big worried eyes; it was almost sickening. 

“Just a couple months. I’m telling you, it’s not that serious–”

“Yes, it is!” Sousuke raised his voice. “Stop underplaying your struggles! You need to let people worry about you.”

Kou didn’t know what to say. He just rubbed at his neck, waiting for Sousuke to continue.

The other man sighed. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

That was unexpected. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

“So, you felt okay?”

Kou nodded.

“How do you feel when we hang out together?”

“Honestly? I kinda forget about it all. Like for the couple hours we’re together I just feel… fine. Normal.”

“So then,” Sousuke took Kou’s hand in both of his, “why don’t we just do this kind of thing more? Until you forget about it entirely.”

His face looked almost desperate, like he was actually worried about Kou’s mental health. Like he couldn’t bear it any more than Kou could. It was surprising, and it actually made Kou happy, in a fucked up kind of way. 

Slowly, he nodded. “Y-Yeah. I’d like that.”

Relief flooded Sousuke’s face. He nodded, and moved one of his hands to reach into his pocket. “Here,” he said, dropping something into Kou’s hand. “It’s a spare key to my dorm; you can come over whenever. Depression is bad for your skin, you know.”

Kou let a smile break out across his face. “Thanks, Sousuke. Would your roommate be okay with this?”

“Oh, he’s hardly ever in our room. Says he’s got a beach house or something.”

“Seriously? How rich is this guy?”

Sousuke laughed. “Beats me. But he wouldn’t mind you having the key, trust me. But anyway!” Sousuke let go of Kou’s hand, “Dinner definitely isn’t enough to make up for my birthday, so we’re going to help with Daikon-senpai’s garden on Wednesday. Since you’re never busy, you have no excuse! Or else you’re a misogynist for not helping women!”

“Isn’t it more misogynistic to force my help onto her? And stop calling her that!”

Sousuke laughed again. “But you’re coming, right?”

“Yeah, yeah; I’ll be there. Send me the address later so I don’t forget.”

“‘Kayyy!” Sousuke sang. 

The two of them laughed and bickered all the way back to their campus, but all Kou could think about was how cold his hand felt. 

Notes:

their date!! yay!!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! it's my birthday today, so hopefully a hot guy buys me dinner :)
as usual let me know all your thoughts!! <3<3 love u all

Chapter 6

Summary:

Kou reflects after dinner, then goes to Nene's garden. Sousuke gets jealous
This chapter includes sexual content (masturbation)!

Notes:

this chapter is much longer, sorry!! i hope you enjoy!!

After Kou got back to his dorm that night, the only thing he could think about was the look on Sousuke’s face when he was feeding him. He probably should have been wondering about Nene’s text to Sousuke from earlier or actively grateful that his best friend cared enough about him to give him a spare room key, but his mind was betraying him. His thoughts just kept going back to Sousuke’s flushed face, lips parted slightly and trembling. It was just so… hot. Fuck. 

Kou hadn’t had horny thoughts about Sousuke in a while; he normally felt too ashamed to dwell on those kinds of mental images of his best friend. Tonight, though…

Say ah!

Fuck. Before he knew it, Kou was wrapping a hand around himself. Whatever. He could feel guilty later. 

He thought back to the restaurant. Sousuke’s eyes had been almost trained on him, but in a kind of distant way. It almost, almost looked like he had been into it. He probably wasn’t, but Kou’s imagination would take it for now. Was that the kind of face Sousuke would make if Kou sucked him off? Hazy eyes, flushed skin, parted lips–

Kou’s hand worked faster. 

He could hear Sousuke moaning in his head. He could picture his eyes closing, head tilting back–

Faster.

He could almost feel his best friend’s fingers gripping his hair, legs trembling. God, it was nearly too much.

Kou moaned. “Fuck, Sousuke–”

And for the first time that day, Kou’s mind had gone blank. His orgasm shook through him, leaving him motionless on his bed. He panted heavily, with the familiar shame starting to creep up on him. He had masturbated to the thought of his friend again, and after he had done something so kind to him, no less. His lust started to dissipate, leaving him with nothing but guilt and a mess on his hand and crotch. Disgusting. At least he didn’t get anything on his bedsheets.

After grabbing a few tissues and wiping off what he could, he reached over to check his phone. The top notification was a text from Sousuke sending him the address for Wednesday. God, he was such a bad friend. 

He had been distant from Sousuke because of his weird mental state, he made Sousuke cry on his birthday because he went M.I.A., he unloaded all his feelings onto Sousuke after their evening out, and then just went home to fap about it while his friend was probably more concerned for him than ever.

And the worst part? He was opening Sousuke’s chat mere minutes after cumming with the man’s name on his mouth. Clearly whatever shame he was feeling wasn’t enough. As he clicked on Sousuke’s icon, he saw two more messages under the address.

 

Mitsuba Sousuke ✔ • @mitsuba_flicks

it’s around 40 minutes from campus so we’re taking amane’s car
meet @ fine arts parking lot at 4  

Sounds good! See you soon
And thank you for today 😁 I hope you had fun

of course i did
there’s nothing i love more than draining your wallet :)
see you tomorrow <3  8:55 PM

 

Kou double-tapped Sousuke’s message and smiled to himself. His stomach still fluttered every time Sousuke put a heart in a message to him; he felt like a lovesick schoolgirl. He read the messages again– Amane’s car sounded… interesting. He’d never been around Amane for an extended period of time, much less with Nene there too, so he really didn’t know what to expect for Wednesday. He turned off his phone. It would be best to get some shut-eye so he’d be well rested for his 8:00 class, especially since he’d barely slept the night before. 

After washing up and getting ready for bed, though, Kou found himself up that night tossing and turning. His thoughts were running a mile a minute, going between his family, his classes, and of course, his best friend. He wondered how Sousuke’s mom was, how she would react when she saw how much professional work her son was doing. He thought about his own mother, wondering if she’d still be proud of him if he dropped out of college, if she would tell him the same things that Teru did. God, he missed her. 

Eventually, Kou was able to drift into sleep, dreaming of a five-member family. 

—

Kou spent his Tuesday going between academic buildings and the campus library, desperately trying to prepare for finals and not lose focus during his lectures. By the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around, he had nearly forgotten about his gardening plans, but Nene had been considerate enough to text him a reminder. It felt a bit patronizing, but he did end up needing it, so he was still grateful. 

When his last class of the day ended at 3:15, Kou made his way to his dorm and paused in front of his closet. He didn’t know much about gardening, but he knew that he wouldn’t end the day perfectly clean, so he threw on one of his older sleep shirts and a pair of shorts he normally wore to soccer practice. He glanced over at his bag. Was he supposed to bring anything? Supplies? Tools? Nene didn’t tell him to take anything with him, but he figured he should be at least a little bit of help instead of just coming along for the ride. It was supposed to be on the hotter side that day, so he grabbed a few extra water bottles, filled them up, and put them in his bag. Better than nothing, he supposed. 

When he got to the fine arts center’s parking lot, Sousuke was already sitting on the stairs leading up to the building, waiting. He glanced up from his phone as he heard Kou’s footsteps and broke out in a smile when they made eye contact. And god, was it one of the most beautiful sights Kou had ever seen. 

“Minamoto-kun!” Sousuke hopped off of the stairs and pulled Kou into a hug.

What? What? Huh!? He could tell that Sousuke was going to be a little more tactful after finding out about Kou’s mental health, but he definitely wasn’t expecting this. 

Kou let out a laugh in surprise. “You’re in a good mood today, huh?”

“Yup!” Sousuke pulled back from the hug, lightly shoving Kou in the process. “I got my grade for that huge drawing project I was telling you about– an A!”

Kou didn’t mention the fact that he didn’t remember the project Sousuke was talking about.

“Oh my god Sousuke, that’s great!”

Sousuke sneered. “Why do you sound surprised? Obviously an artist as skilled as me would get good grades on art projects.”

What a total 180. “If it’s that normal, why were you so excited about it?” Kou flicked Sousuke’s forehead. 

Sousuke put his hands on his forehead dramatically. “Do that again and I’m reporting you for physical assault, lame-earring.”

Kou groaned. “I’m not even wearing earrings right now!”

“Looks like you finally realized that you have shitty taste in earrings then, thank god!”

“You’re insufferable.”

Sousuke hummed. “You love me for it, though!”

Kou’s heart stopped for a second.

He’s joking. He means as a friend. He doesn’t know. Calm down.

Before Kou could respond, a small yellow SUV drove up to where they were standing. 

“Kou-kun! Mitsuba-kun!” Nene called from the passenger seat window.

Kou’s face lit up at the sight of his upperclassman. “Hey, senpai!”

The pair walked over to Amane’s car, and Kou thought that everything with the two of them was fine, but when he saw Sousuke through the corner of his eye, the man had a scowl on his face.

“Something wrong, Sousuke?”

Sousuke’s eyes widened, like he didn’t think Kou could see him. He recovered quickly, though, putting on a teasing smirk. 

“You’re seriously asking me that? Are you projecting, Minamoto-kun?” He laughed as they opened the backseat doors to the SUV, sending a clear message not to pry.

“Thanks so much for agreeing to help out today, guys!” Nene said from the front seat as they sat down.

“Taxi fare will be 450 yen each, thank you very much!” Amane joked. 

“Amane-kun!” Nene chastised. Amane simply laughed in response and put the car into drive. 

As they started moving, Amane glanced at Sousuke through the rearview mirror. “So, Mitsuba! Did you get a new physics assignment?”

Sousuke looked mortified. “Do not talk to me about physics right now. I’ll jump out of the car.”

Kou burst out laughing at Sousuke’s expressiveness. 

“Oh you think I’m joking, Minamoto-kun? I’ll do it. I’ll do it right now.”

“Yeah, good luck finding your way back,” Kou mused. “I know how shit you are with directions.”

Sousuke scoffed. “Whatever.” His gaze fell onto Kou's bag. “Why are you bringing that bag? What’s in there?” 

“Oh, right! It’s supposed to get pretty warm today, so I brought some water for everyone.”

“Aw, Kou-kun, that's so sweet! Thank you!” Nene exclaimed, turning her head to face the backseat. 

Sousuke just stared at him with an unimpressed look. “So no juice?”

Kou glared at him. “Fuck off. You’re not getting any juice from me after making me pay for your drink last time.”

“Hey, you still haven’t given me a proper birthday present! Do I really mean that little to you? I’m hurt, Minamoto-kun!” Sousuke started giving Kou his puppy dog eyes. 

“You are such a dick. Don’t give me that look.”

“Amane-senpai! Minamoto-kun is harassing me! Make him stop!”

Amane paused his conversation with Nene, “Huh? What’d you say?”

“I said–”

Amane turned up the radio. “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

“Minam–”

He turned the radio up even higher. “Sorry, I can’t hear you!”

“Son of a bitch!” Sousuke yelled. 

Kou shook with laughter. 

“Hey! Stop laughing!” Sousuke punched Kou in the arm. 

“What? That just means you’re funny; take it as a compliment!” 

“Like hell it does! You just hate me, Minamoto-kun!”

“Didn’t you say I loved you earlier? Which is it?”

“Well, do you? Do you love me, Minamoto-kun?”

Kou paused. Sousuke had that look on his face, the same one he had in the convenience store. The look that Kou couldn’t read.

Kou glanced over at the front of the car and saw Nene and Amane exchange a look between them. The fuck?

Kou looked back at Sousuke and gulped. “I–”

“No response, huh? Looks like you hate me, then!” Sousuke’s voice tapered off a bit. 

Kou swallowed. “Yeah. You’re a huge prick.” he answered weakly.

Neither of their comments had the same energy behind them as they usually did. God, how stupid could Kou be? Obviously he could have said something platonic, or at least kept playing along and doubled down instead of not saying a thing. He was such an idiot. 

“Um,” Nene started, getting both of their attention, “We’re mostly just weeding today. I’ve already planted some vegetables, so I just need to water them and get rid of weeds. It shouldn’t be too difficult for you.” She gave them a soft smile. 

Kou gave her a half smile. “Sounds good, senpai.”

Nene nodded and faced the road again. Kou glanced over at Sousuke, only to find him staring out the window, facing away from him completely.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. You made a fool of yourself in someone else’s car over something stupid. You’re being awkward. Stop it. Say something to Sousuke.

“Hey, Sousuke.”

Sousuke turned towards him. “Hm?”

“Want your water now? I don’t want you passing out or anything.” He extended a hand holding one of the bottles.

“That happened once, Minamoto-kun. And I was sick! You know this!” He took the bottle anyway. 

Good. Kou smiled. Back to normal. 

He could still recall when Sousuke fainted from heat exhaustion during summer break. They had gone to the beach with Yokoo and Satou, even though Sousuke was still recovering from a summer cold, and the poor guy had lost consciousness after going too long without water. Satou ended up driving him home since they lived near each other, and Kou lingered at the beach because he figured it would be weird to go with them. It was still a fond memory, even though it ended with a bit of a panic. Kou hoped he could go to the beach with Sousuke again this year, maybe just them this time.

The two of them fell into a comfortable conversation for the rest of the drive, and so did Amane and Nene. By the time they got to the garden, Kou had nearly forgotten about that tense moment. 

Nene stretched as she stepped out of the car, the three men following her towards the garden.

It was a decently sized plot of land, complete with a shed full of tools equipped with a hose. He knew people could rent out garden spaces, but this had to have been expensive for Nene.

“Woah, this is better than I thought it would be! This is owned by the university, right?” Sousuke awed.

Nene nodded. “Yup!”

Kou was suddenly hit with FOMO. She never mentioned that this was university property. “Oh, you didn’t tell me this was for school, Nene-senpai.”

“Mitsuba-kun didn’t tell you? It’s for my environmental studies final. I’m supposed to be keeping a log for everything.”

“Yashiro!”

The three of them turned towards Amane, who was jogging over with some weeding equipment from the shed.

“Is this what you need?”

“Yes! Perfect!” Nene turned back to face Sousuke and Kou, “Amane-kun and I will take care of the weeding, at least for now. You two will need to water the vegetables– but make sure you don’t water the tomato leaves, just the roots, and put fertilizer around the beans! Call me over if you need help!”

As she started walking towards the other side of the garden, Kou called after her. “Wait! How do we know which plants are which? And what kind of fertilizer–”

“Everything is labeled!” she called over her shoulder, walking off with Amane’s arm around her shoulders. 

Sousuke stretched with his arms over his head. “Okay, Minamoto-kun, let’s go get the hose and fertilizer.” He began walking towards the shed. 

“Right!” Kou jogged a bit to catch up with him. 

They barely made it one minute in silence before Sousuke spoke up. “Young love, eh?” He gestured at Nene and Amane across the garden.

“Heh, yeah,” he responded. Love, huh. Sousuke is using that word a lot today.

“Are you jealous of him, Minamoto-kun?”

What!? “No? Why would I be?”

Sousuke shrugged, but his face was anything but nonchalant. He opened the door to the shed and the two of them walked in. 

“Well, you and Daikon-senpai are pretty close, right?” He picked up the fertilizer with the word beans written on it.

“Right…”

“I just figured you were jealous of Amane-senpai taking her away from you. ‘Cause it looked like you might, well, you know–”

Kou turned to face him completely. “No! Absolutely not. I– Why would you–” Kou sputtered. “Just, no, Sousuke. There was never anything like that.”

“No?” Sousuke blinked in what looked like genuine surprise. 

“No, man. Nene-senpai is my friend, and nothing else. Don’t assume shit like that. Plus,” he elbowed Sousuke’s side, “I would have told you if I liked her.”

Sousuke gave him a scrutinizing look.

“What? Don’t you trust me?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

Kou rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll get the hose.”

Kou brought the hose over to the vegetables in silence. As Sousuke started fertilizing the beans, he sighed. “Are you mad at me, Minamoto-kun?”

“No,” Kou said, turning on the hose and pointing it at the corn, “I just wish you wouldn’t assume things about me.”

“Not like you tell me much, anyway.” Sousuke muttered.

“Hey, you’re one to talk.” The words were coming out of Kou’s mouth before he could stop them. “I’m sorry for being a little distant recently, but I’m not the only one. Something’s clearly been bothering you today and you didn’t even tell me about that. So yeah, I may seem a little upset.”

Sousuke dropped his gaze. 

Kou sighed. “I’m sorry. I–”

“No, you’re right.” Sousuke looked back up at him. “Stop apologizing for things that don’t need it; it freaks me out.”

Kou didn’t know how to respond to that; he just blinked, surprised.

“I’m fine, though. There’s nothing bothering me, okay? And stop watering the corn, that’s more than enough!”

“Oh shit, you’re right,” Kou moved the hose to water the tomato roots instead. 

Sousuke sighed exaggeratedly. “Geez, what would you do without me?”

Kou chuckled. 

“Here, gimme that. I need to water the beans too.”

Kou hummed in affirmation, handing the hose to Sousuke. Right as he was about to hand it off, though, he lost his grip on it, and the hose fell out of his grasp, spraying water all over Sousuke’s clothes. 

Well, fuck. If there was one thing he knew about Sousuke, it was that the man would make a spectacle out of anything. 

Sousuke shrieked. “Oh, you’re paying for that, Minamoto!”

Before Kou had a chance to run, he was being sprayed in the face with water.

He yelped, desperately wiping his face with his hands. “Come on! The face, seriously? That was clearly an accident!” 

Kou stepped on the hose to stop the water from flowing, right as Sousuke started aiming at him again. It was no use, though; Sousuke shoved him to get water coming out of the hose again, and soaked Kou’s shirt.

“You’ve really done it now, Sousuke,” he yelled. “Get over here!”

Kou grabbed the hose from Sousuke’s hands and began to chase him down with it, only for the water to stop suddenly.

“Kou-kun! Mitsuba-kun! What are you doing?”

Kou turned around, now face to face with Nene. 

“Oh, senpai, we were just–”

“Guys, you’re going to overwater my plants,” she scolded, then muttered to herself, “Men.”

“We’re very sorry, senpai!” Kou fretted. 

Nene sighed, taking a look at the plants. “Did you at least water the squash?”

Kou and Sousuke looked at each other, then back at Nene.

She sighed again. 

“Just water that and then go home.” She took the hose from Kou, stepped off of it, and sprayed both of them. “Amane-kun and I are done, so we’re driving back to campus. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t want you getting the inside of his car all wet. Looks like you’ll have to take the bus. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

And with that, the upperclassmen drove off. 

After watering the squash and putting the hose and fertilizer back in the shed, Kou pulled out his phone to check when the next bus was coming. 

Oh shit.

“Sousuke.”

“Yeah?”

“There are no more buses going back to campus today.”

Sousuke’s eyes widened, and he raised his voice. “What!? You expect me to walk all the way back? That would take hours! At night too!? I–”

Kou put a hand on his shoulder, “Okay, okay, calm down. There are still other buses. We can take the one going to my neighborhood; it should be here in a few minutes.”

—

And so here they were, wet and dirty, in a near-empty bus on the 34th line heading to Kou’s town on a Wednesday evening. 

Sousuke shivered. “How am I going to sleep with wet clothes? I’ll freeze to death!”

Kou tilted his head. “You’ll just borrow some of mine.”

Sousuke’s face turned a slight shade of pink. 

“That’s not a problem for you, right?”

Sousuke let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll have to make do with your horrible sense of fashion for the night.” He suddenly sat up straight. “Wait. What about classes? How long does it take to get to campus from your house?” 

Kou shrugged. “We can skip? I mean, unless you have super early classes, you should still be able to make it. It’s not far.”

Sousuke seemed to ponder on it for a moment, then hummed and dropped his head onto Kou’s shoulder. “I’m down to skip all day if you are.”

Kou smiled. “Sounds like a plan, then.”

As they got off of the bus and started walking towards his house, Kou pulled out his phone to check the time.

“It’s still pretty early, so I can make dinner for you and my family while you shower, if you want.”

Sousuke scoffed. “As if I could pull off my hair care routine with whatever you have lying around. I’ll just shower back at my dorm tomorrow.”

Kou rolled his eyes. “You sure? ‘Cause your hair isn’t looking too good right now. I’d say ‘whatever we have lying around’ is better than leaving it like that, but whatever.”

Sousuke laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know you’re just jealous of my beautiful silky smooth hair, Minamoto-kun.”

“In your dreams.” Kou reached out to ruffle Sousuke’s hair, but he ducked out of the way in time. 

“Hah! Try harder next time, maybe you’ll actually get me!”

“Oh, I’ll get you next time,” Kou smirked. “You won’t know what hit you.”

Sousuke recoiled. “Creepy.”

“Whatever. We’re here; don’t be weird around my siblings.”

Sousuke clutched his heart. “What an accusation! I would never!”

“Teru-nii! I’m here!”, Kou announced as he unlocked the door.

“Kou?” he heard Teru call from the kitchen.

Then, after a beat, he heard his sister yelling, “Kou-oniichan!” She ran down the stairs and practically jumped into his arms. “Kou-oniichan! You’re back so soon!” She pulled back and tilted her head. “Why are you wet? And who’s that?”

Sousuke gave her a crooked smile and a small wave.

“This is my friend from college. We were gardening and got a little wet.”

“Oh, hello, Mitsuba-kun!” Teru exclaimed, walking towards the doorway. “What a pleasure!”

“Hi, Minamoto-senpai. Sorry for intruding.”

“Nonsense! I assume you’re staying the night?”

“Yeah,” Kou told him, untying his shoes, “There were no buses back to campus from the garden, so we had to come here.”

Teru nodded in understanding. “Well, I was just about to order takeout, so feel free to let me know what to get for you. If you’d rather cook instead, though, I certainly won’t stop you.”

“Where were you going to order from?”

“That Korean place a few blocks away.”

Kou noticed Sousuke perk up at the mention of Korean food.

“Could you order some jjajangmyeon for me, then?” He turned to his friend. “Sousuke, what do you want?”

“Uh, some japchae with kimchi would be great, thanks.” Sousuke told Teru, taking off his shoes as well.

It was jarring seeing Sousuke being so polite; Kou had to try hard not to physically cringe.

“Sure thing. I’ll let you know when it gets here,” Teru told them, heading to the kitchen to make the phone call. “It’s nice to see you again, Mitsuba-kun.” 

“Y-Yeah, you too, Minamoto-senpai.”

Tiara looked up at Sousuke in awe. 

“Mitsuba-oniichan, your hair is so pretty!”

Sousuke’s face lit up, and he bent down to be eye level with her. 

“Thank you, beautiful! What’s your name?”

“I’m Minamoto Tiara! I’m 9 years old!”

“Wow, that’s such a nice name!”

Tiara giggled. 

“Sorry, Tiara, but we have to go change out of our dirty clothes,” Kou cut in. “We’ll talk more at dinner, okay?”

Tiara pouted, but didn't argue. “Okay!”

—

Kou led Sousuke up to his bedroom and shut the door behind them. Sousuke let out a low whistle.

“Wow, what a boring room!” He shrugged after a beat. “Not that I’m really surprised, though.”

“I will kick you out of my house.”

“Rude!”

Kou opened a drawer and started looking for something Sousuke could wear. 

“I didn’t expect you to be good with kids, Sousuke.”

“And I didn’t expect you to be related to a kid so cute.”

Kou threw a t-shirt at his head. “I was a very cute kid, thank you!”

Sousuke hummed. “You’d better show me a photo album then, or I’ll never believe you!”

“Not happening.”

“Minamoto-kun, you’re so mean!”

“Not my problem.” He threw a pair of sweatpants at Sousuke. “You can change in the bathroom; I’ll get something for you to sleep on.”

“Kay!” Sousuke picked up the clothes that were thrown at him and walked out of Kou’s room. 

Kou took a moment to process everything. Sousuke was in his house. Eating dinner with his family. Putting on his clothes. Sleeping in his room. God, he was so fucked. 

Notes:

sorry i haven't been updating frequently... my summer class started a couple weeks ago and i've also been working more hours so i'm kinda dying ㅜㅜ but please let me know all your thoughts as usual!!! <3<3 thank you for reading i appreciate you all!!!!

Chapter 7

Summary:

Mitsuba joins the family for dinner after a little trauma dumping session with Kou :3

Notes:

another long(ish) one!! sorry for the wait!!

By the time Sousuke came back from the bathroom, Kou had changed into dry clothes and laid out a sleeping bag with a couple pillows on it.

“Aw, Minamoto-kun, how kind of you to take out a sleeping bag so that I can sleep in your bed!”

Kou turned around to face Sousuke, and his breath hitched. He was wearing one of Kou’s old graphic tees, with it being noticeably big on him in a way that made it obvious that the shirt wasn’t his. He was wearing his hair down too, which he rarely did. He just looked so…god, Kou just wanted to eat him up.

Woah. He needed to dial back his thoughts, stat. He forced himself to snap out of it.

“Nope,” he deadpanned. “You’re taking the floor. Unless you want to share the bed, I guess.”

Sousuke recoiled exaggeratedly. “Yeah, no thanks, pervert. Floor it is.”

Sousuke padded further into the room and started poking around Kou’s bookshelf.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking through your manga collection, duh.”

Kou scratched the back of his neck and sat down on his bed. “Not much of a collection, but knock yourself out, I guess.”

“Ugh, you’re right. Nine volumes of Naruto and a Digimon DVD? That’s it?”

“Were you expecting more?” Kou sat down on his bed.

Sousuke shrugged and moved to sit next to him. “Just wanted more material to make fun of you for, I guess.”

“Tch. Asshole.”

“Hah! You love it, though.”

Both of them paused at the memory of their prior conversation.

Sousuke looked down into his lap and chuckled. “You never answered my question from earlier.”

Kou sighed. “You know I don’t hate you, Sousuke.”

“So is saying you love me not masculine enough for you? Can’t be vulnerable around me?”

“Dude.” Kou ran a hand over his face. “Of course I love you; you’re my best friend. I’m not scared to be vulnerable, I’m just–” He cut himself off. 

Sousuke looked up. “You’re just…?”

Whelp. Sousuke needed an answer. He knows Kou is saying this as a friend, right? This wasn’t his confession.

Kou spoke quietly, “I’m just scared you won’t say it back.”

Sousuke’s eyes widened.

“Minamoto-kun! Obviously I– I love you,” he stuttered; Kou took a mental note of that stutter.

Sousuke’s face flushed a bit and he lowered his voice to a mumble. “You’re my best friend too, you know,” he dropped his head onto Kou’s shoulder, “so I get worried when you’re distant.”

Kou collected his thoughts for a few seconds before speaking.

“Sorry, Sousuke. I don’t want to be distant, I just– you know… I don’t even know what’s going on with me half the time.”

“And your brother is the only one who thinks you’re depressed? Really?”

Kou chuckled. “I guess I really am depressed, huh?”

Sousuke said nothing. Kou could feel him fidget a bit.

“You know, Sousuke, I’m planning on dropping out of college.”

Sousuke shot up from Kou’s shoulder. “What!? Are you serious?”

Kou rubbed his neck again. “Yeah, I mean… Think about it. I’m not the best student, I haven’t even declared a major, and I’m really not doing well mentally. Dropping out is the best solution, isn’t it?”

“You– Wha– I–” Sousuke sputtered. “Are you sure? How will I– You’ll just never see us again?”

“Sousuke, chill.” Kou put a hand on his shoulder. “I live close to campus, don’t I? I’ll visit. And you can visit me, too – any time. I’m serious.”

“Are you sure this isn’t temporary? Is dropping out really the only solution?” Sousuke looked like he was about to cry.

Kou dropped his hand. “I mean… I’m not totally sure if college is the problem, but I think not being a student anymore would benefit me. I’ve thought about this, okay? I don’t want you doubting my judgement.”

“I’m not– I mean–” Sousuke groaned and fell back, lying down fully on Kou’s bed. “This is a pretty big fucking bombshell to drop on me, Minamoto-kun. Be a little more considerate.”

He was right. Kou really didn’t want to bring it up out of nowhere, but he didn’t know how long he could go without Sousuke knowing.

“I mean, hey, if I change my mind before the end of the semester, I’ll keep attending like normal.”

Sousuke just stared up at him, unimpressed. 

“What’s the big deal, anyway? You can still see me even if I stop going to Kamome.”

Sousuke scrunched up his face. “You don’t get it, do you? Idiot.”

That was uncalled for. “What do you mean?”

“I’m worried about you, Minamoto-kun. You’re a people person, anyone can see that. Would you seriously be okay without that community?”

“I have a community here, Sousuke.” Kou was starting to get annoyed. “And I prioritize my family over anything else. The more I can provide for my siblings, the better. It’s not like we have our parents here to maintain the household.”

Sousuke flinched, then after a second, spoke quietly, “I didn’t want to ask where your dad was, but–”

Kou cut him off with a mirthless laugh. “I guess I don’t talk about it, huh?” He leaned back on his hands and looked up to the ceiling. “My dad left us before I was old enough to understand the implications. Teru-nii still hasn’t told me exactly why he did.”

Sousuke didn’t respond to that.

“I mean, the mortgage on the house is paid off and everything,” Kou assured, “and we have savings, but Teru-nii has been working his ass off since he was a high schooler to provide for me and Tiara. I want to be able to help too, you know? I don’t want Tiara to be held back because we’re struggling, financially or otherwise.”

Sousuke was still silent.

“Look, point is– I need to look at the bigger picture. Even if being a student isn’t the only thing giving me issues, dropping out and working sooner will be helping out my family, anyway.” He looked down to make eye contact with his friend. “I know you’re worried, and I appreciate it, but I’m struggling now. If there’s a chance that I’ll help both myself and my family by dropping out of college, I’ll do it. Plus, I can enroll again if I really want to.”

Wow. It felt surprisingly good to tell Sousuke all of this. Kou hadn’t really had the chance to talk through the details of moving out with anyone, or even his family situation. He’d never told any of his friends about his father, only saying he was overseas if the topic was ever brought up, and it took a weight off his shoulders to finally let it out.

Sousuke, meanwhile, just stared up at Kou.

“Shit, sorry. That’s a lot to just drop on you like that, huh?” Kou chuckled. “Don’t worry about any of the dad stuff; he wasn’t much better when he was still here.”

“Geez, Minamoto-kun. You’re so strong, it’s almost annoying.”

Huh?

“Strong? What do you mean?” Kou cocked his head.

“How are you so positive in a situation like that? And then you apologize to me after telling me about it? You think too much about other people. It’s scary.”

Kou’s eyes widened, and he really couldn’t help himself this time– he laughed. 

Sousuke just looked even more disturbed, but Kou kept laughing, letting himself fall back onto the bed next to Sousuke. 

“Dude. Are you sure depression isn’t your only mental illness? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Kou wiped a tear from his eye. “I just– no one’s ever put it like that before. I’m not sure if I would call a depressed college dropout ‘strong’.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes. “Don’t disagree or I’ll take it back.”

Kou just laughed again.

“Seriously, though,” Sousuke started, “you’re a lot stronger than me.”

Kou looked over at him. “Yeah?”

He nodded. “I got bullied a lot in middle school, you know. I got called girly, emotional– they were just calling me gay, pretty much, but you know– in a way that wasn’t direct.” He breathed out a laugh. “So stupid.”

Sousuke crossed his arms and fixed his eyes on the ceiling.

“And it was really fucking bad. Like, I didn’t have a single friend. So when my dad died, I had no one to talk to. It was like my mom and I were just grieving on our own.”

“Sousuke–”

“Oh, that’s not even it. When I started high school, I decided to avoid any bullying by just being as nice and plain as I could be; I was way in the closet. A total doormat, basically. But it still didn’t work! I didn’t get bullied, but no one noticed me at all. It backfired in the opposite direction! To tell you the truth, times got really tough. I was so lonely and depressed all the time, and honestly? If it went on past graduation I don’t know if I’d still be here.”

Sousuke was still avoiding eye contact, but Kou understood why. It was easier to be vulnerable like this when you couldn’t see the person you were talking to. No pitying faces, no moments of realization on the other person’s face that say oh, that’s why you turned out like that. So he didn’t make Sousuke look at him.

“I still don’t get how that makes me stronger than you,” Kou said simply.

Sousuke whipped his head around towards Kou. “Are you kidding?”

Kou just shrugged. “You made it through the bullying, and you went back to being your authentic self. You’re still here. You’re in one piece. That’s pretty strong if you ask me.”

Sousuke stared in shock, speechless for a few seconds. Then, his face shifted through more emotions than Kou could pinpoint. He had that damn look in his eye again.

“M-Minamoto-kun, I–”

There was a knock on the door.

“The food is here,” Teru announced from the corridor. “I already set the table; come eat with us before the food gets cold.”

“O-Okay, thanks, Teru-nii! We’ll be right down!” Kou turned to his friend. “Sorry, what were you gonna–”

Sousuke bolted up from the bed, face pink. “Nothing! Let’s just go eat; I’m starving.”

Huh. Sousuke was dodging something again. 

—

“Those are Kou-oniichan’s clothes!” Tiara shouted as the college students approached the kitchen table.

Sousuke snickered. “Yeah, you need to tell your brother to buy cooler clothes. The amount of lion shirts he owns is ridiculous.”

Kou elbowed him and sat down in his usual chair, opposite his brother. Grumbling, Sousuke took the seat next to him.

“So, Mitsuba-kun! How has the art student life been treating you?” Teru asked, picking up his chopsticks.

Looking like he suddenly remembered he was in the presence of Kou’s family, Sousuke straightened up and put on a smile.

“Oh, you can just call me Sousuke,” he replied, picking up some kimchi, “and school isn't too bad; just a lot of projects due, you know?” 

Teru nodded in understanding. “That’s right, it’s finals season, isn’t it?”

Kou shuddered. Both of them were so effortlessly good at small talk, it was almost scary. It felt like he was in the presence of two strangers.

“Kou-oniichan doesn’t bring friends home a lot,” Tiara announced, clearly not having been listening to the conversation. 

Fuck. His sister was going to embarrass him in front of Sousuke, wasn’t she?

“He doesn’t bring home girlfriends, either. He comes on too strong, and it scares them.”

Sousuke nearly spit out his food.

“Tiara! Don’t say that!” Kou chastised, but it was to no avail. Sousuke was trying not to burst out laughing, and though he was masking it very well, the corners of Teru’s mouth were tugging upwards in concealed laughter.

“What?” she whined. “It’s true!”

Sousuke gulped down his entire glass of water to keep himself from laughing.

“Still, you shouldn’t… whatever.” Kou gave up and went back to silently eating his food, his face red from embarrassment.

Tiara wasn’t done, though. “What’s Kou-oniichan like at college?”

“Ooh, yes! Good question, Your Highness!” Teru chimed in.

Great, now Sousuke was going to make him look bad in front of his siblings. Kou looked over at him, only to be greeted by the most devious expression he’d ever seen on the man. 

“Well,” Sousuke started, “he’s a total loner. He’s always in his room – which is super messy, by the way – and he only leaves campus for groceries. I had to take on the burden of showing him one of the restaurants he was missing out on because he was just so clueless–”

“You made me take you out for dinner!”

“Hush, Minamoto-kun. I’m not done. He also dresses super lame and scares people away because he’s so intense.”

“Sousuke–”

“But he’s also a really driven student. And he’s the best player in the B League; I heard he might be the next captain.”

Huh? Kou wasn’t expecting him to say anything nice.

“And he’s super passionate, so he draws people in. So even though he’s a total loner loser, he has a lot of friends.” Blushing, Sousuke looked back down at his dinner and started poking around on the plate. “I guess.”

Kou could feel his heart swell at that. It was probably just out of pity, but seeing Sousuke be so kind to him this week made Kou feel like he was falling in love all over again. Sure, it was the prickly side of him that drew Kou in, but he always knew there was softness under the rude exterior. He just didn’t know how deep it ran. And he had to say, he really liked this side of Sousuke.

Oh. He had to say something, didn’t he?

“Sousuke, don’t be ridiculous. You’re the only loner here.” was all that he managed to get out. His face was definitely betraying the insult, though. He was so giddy he felt like he could run ten laps around his block.

“That’s great to hear!” Teru exclaimed. “But, Kou, you really should get outside more. Staying cooped up in your dorm all the time is bad for you.”

“Yeah, I kn–”

“And clean your room! It’s good for your mental health!”

“Yeah, yeah. I will, nii-chan."

“Don’t worry, Minamoto-senpai– I’ve been getting him to go out more,” Sousuke assured.

“Is that why you took me to the garden today?”

He shrugged. “That was part of it, yeah. I also just didn’t want to third wheel.”

“So you just dragged me along for company?”

“Well I wouldn’t say that, but whatever makes you happy, Minamoto-kun.”

“What’s a third wheel?” Tiara asked, somehow already finished with her dinner.

“Oh, um, it’s when there’s a third person hanging around a couple. Awkward, right?” Kou explained.

“Oh! That’s why you guys didn’t want to hang out with me, right? I would be the third wheel.”

Sousuke’s face went crimson at that, but he forced a smile through the embarrassment. “N-Not quite, sweetheart! It’s more for romantic couples, like boyfriend-girlfriend.”

“Your face is red.” Then, Tiara gasped as realization struck her. “Do you like my brother?”

“Hah? No way! Just look at him!”

“Rude.” Kou interjected.

“How is it rude? I didn’t insult you directly!”

“The fact that you had to specify that it was indirect still qualifies it as an insult, Sousuke.”

Their conversation moved on, but Kou just kept thinking about how many times they’d been mistaken for a couple recently. Sousuke had to know that Tiara wasn’t the only person to assume something like that, right?

—

By the time they had finished dinner, Sousuke was yawning and rubbing his eyes, but still offered to wash dishes.

“Oh, no need, Sousuke-kun. Kou and I will take care of it. Just head to bed; you seem like you need the rest.” Teru assured him.

“You sure? Because I can–”

“Really, it’s fine. Kou and I need to talk, anyway. But do me a favour and make sure Her Highness is in bed?”

Sousuke nodded. “Sure. Good night, senpai.”

“Nighty night.” Teru waved as Sousuke started up the stairs. 

He turned to face Kou. “So.”

“So.” Kou echoed, picking up a plate to start washing it.

“He doesn’t call you by your given name.”

That was… not what Kou expected him to say.

“Uh, no, I guess he doesn’t. Why are you bringing this up?”

Teru shrugged. “It just seems like you’re very close, no? It struck me as a bit odd.”

“Well, I don’t know why he only calls me by my surname, but I’m sure he’s got his reasons. I don’t wanna pry into it.”

Teru hummed and picked up a different plate. “You like him, don’t you? As more than a friend?”

Kou nearly dropped the dishes he was holding. “What? The fuck? Nii-chan, you can’t just–”

“But it’s true, no? I mean, I’ve had a suspicion for a while, but–”

“You have?”

“Are you really that surprised? You’re so obvious, Kou. No offense.”

“I just– Wh–” Kou’s brain short circuited. “Why are you talking about this right now?”

“I just wanted to offer my support.” Teru pouted. “You don’t want me to?”

“Support for what? It’s not like we’re gonna date or anything.” Kou dried off the plates he was holding, avoiding eye contact.

Teru tilted his head to the side. “Why not?”

Kou looked up at his brother. “Because he doesn’t like me? Duh?” He shook his head, starting to wash the water glasses. “You should know better than to listen to Tiara’s assumptions like that.”

Teru laughed. “I’m not sure about that, Kou. I wouldn’t be worried if I were you.”

“Nii-chan, he’s made it very clear several times that we’re friends. And I see him flirting with random guys all the time! It’s just–” He sighed. “You can’t see the whole picture, so please don’t assume. It hurts when people tell me I have a chance when I really don’t.”

“Kou–”

Kou finished drying off the last glass and set it down. “I’m going to bed.”

Teru had a dejected look on his face as he sighed. “Okay. Good night, Kou. Hopefully I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Teru-nii.” 

When Kou got to his bedroom, Sousuke was somehow already asleep, lightly snoring from his place on the floor. 

Sousuke boasted about his cute looks a lot, but as annoying as it could get, Kou never believed that it was unwarranted. When he wasn’t spewing insults left and right, the guy really was adorable. Seeing him sleeping so peacefully and unguarded made Kou’s heart flutter. He felt like a creep for staring, though, so he just climbed into bed, stealing a couple more glances in the process. He frowned. A sleeping bag on the floor really couldn’t be that comfortable. Well, Kou figured he could go a night with one less blanket on his bed. Hopefully Sousuke wouldn’t question the extra warmth when he woke up.

Notes:

i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i wasn't planning to make an update schedule or anything, but my summer class is actually KILLING ME so it looks like i will only be able to upload on weekends ㅜㅜ i will try to get a chapter out every weekend but no guarantees!!
as usual, please tell me allll your thoughts!!! thank you for your support!!!! <3<3

Chapter 8

Summary:

The boys skip class :)

Notes:

another long one!! enjoy :)

When Kou awoke, Sousuke was still asleep on the floor, but he had changed positions, seemingly several times, and wound up in a tangle of blankets.

Hesitantly, Kou crouched down and gently started trying to move the blankets back to their original position. As he was moving, though, Sousuke’s eyes blinked open and the man shrieked.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get off of me, you pervert!”

“Shit– no– it’s not what it looks like, Sousuke, I swear–”

“Were you trying to take advantage of me while I was sleeping? You sick freak!”

Kou jumped off of the sleeping bag. “No, you were just tossing and turning and your blankets got tangled so I was putting them back in place! Please stop yelling in my family’s home–”

To Kou’s relief, Sousuke lowered his volume. “You pervert! If I was cold, I’d fix it myself! I can’t even see you right now, and this is how you treat me? Geez!”

Huh? He couldn’t… see him?

“What? You can’t see me?”

Sousuke arched an eyebrow. “Yeah? I didn’t put my contacts in, so–”

“Your what?”

“My contacts?”

“You wear contacts?”

“Yes? Is this a big deal?” He sighed. “I’m too tired for this.” Sousuke stretched out his arms and yawned, blinking some of the sleep out of his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Um, hold on.” Kou reached over to his bed and grabbed his phone. Oh– 10%. He’d better charge it. “8:12.”

“Eight!? I thought we were skipping class today, Minamoto-kun, what the fuck? I need my sleep!”

“What the fuck do you mean? You fell asleep at 10:30!"

“And? How do you think I keep my skin so clear?”

“I– Okay. Whatever. Go back to sleep; I’m eating breakfast.”

“Well you already woke me up, so there’s no point. Let’s eat together.” Sousuke started tapping his hand around on the floor, searching for something. “Can you hand me my phone? And my contact case? I put it on your desk.”

Holy shit, Sousuke was cute like this. Kou tried his best to slow his thoughts, but it was useless. All he could think of was how adorable his friend was squinting and feeling around on the floor first thing in the morning. And the mental image of Sousuke in glasses? Deadly.

“U-Um, yeah,” Kou stuttered, forcing himself back to reality. “One sec.”

He found Sousuke’s phone and handed it to him, then stood up to retrieve his contacts.

“Ugh, my phone died. I’m using your charger, okay, Minamoto-kun?”

“Um,” Kou started, picking up the contact case, “I kinda need mine? Teru-nii’s got one downstairs, though. Here.” he turned around and handed the contact case to Sousuke. The man nodded in thanks and yawned again.

Wait. Kou felt like he was forgetting something. He should be getting dressed, but… Oh. He never washed Sousuke’s clothes the night before.

“Shit. Sousuke, I’m sorry, but I never did any laundry last night.”

Sousuke looked up at him after putting his contacts in. He still looked tired, looking at him with confused eyes, not fully awake yet. Kou didn’t know how much more of this his heart could handle.

“Hm? It’s fine, I’ll just wear more of yours.” Sousuke took on a more judgemental expression. “But I’m styling myself this time. No more of this oversized shirt and sweatpants shit.”

Kou couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. “Sure. As long as you don’t mind.”

Sousuke stood up and stretched his back. “I want to style you, too. Maybe if you dressed presentably you’d actually get girls.”

“I thought your major was art, not fashion.” Kou replied, smiling even wider. “But sure, knock yourself out. I’m gonna go see if Teru-nii is up.”

“Kay.” Sousuke yawned again as Kou left the room.

Kou walked downstairs to be greeted by Teru sitting in front of the TV, eating toast while watching the news. 

“Kou! Good morning! I hope you didn’t stay up too late last night.”

“No, we both kinda crashed after dinner.” He sat down next to his brother. “Not working early today?”

Teru shook his head. “I go in at 2 today. You’re not skipping class, are you?”

Kou froze. “Uh–”

Teru burst into laughter at Kou’s reaction. “I’m kidding. As long as it’s not a habit, of course.”

Kou chuckled in relief. “Right.”

“Where’s Sousuke-kun? Still sleeping?”

“He’s awake, but I think he still wanted to sleep more. After sleeping for ten hours. What a freak.”

Teru laughed again, then put his toast down and turned towards his brother. “Listen, Kou. Sorry if this is abrupt, I want you to stay on campus this weekend. Next weekend too.”

Well that was certainly out of nowhere. 

“Huh? Any particular reason?”

Teru gave him an almost pitying look. “I want you to get the most out of your college experience, especially since we talked about you dropping out. You should be over there with your friends on days off. Enjoy campus while you still can, okay? We’re not going anywhere.”

Oh. Teru was right, of course, but he had never brought this subject up before, only after he picked up on Kou’s mental health issues. He had a point, though. Kou was only hurting himself more by going home every weekend and isolating himself. As Sousuke had reminded him, he was an extrovert at the end of the day. It was a lot easier to socialize on a decently sized college campus than on the outskirts of a city away from all his friends, after all.

Kou nodded in understanding. “Okay. I’ll stay on campus for the rest of the month.”

Teru sighed in relief. “Thank you for understanding, Kou. We’ll see you soon, don’t worry.”

Kou snorted. “I’ll only worry if you guys don’t eat properly. I hope you’ve been staying out of the kitchen.”

“Even if I wanted to cook,” Teru started, to which Kou gave a mortified expression, “I’m too tired after work. Plus, our princess has been starting to cook lately. She’s doing pretty well with it, too.” He picked his toast back up and started eating it again.

“Oh yeah? What has she been making?”

Teru hummed as he chewed. “I had her make a souffle last week.”

“What!?” Kou was expecting him to say something basic like omelettes or pancakes. Did Teru seriously think that a nine year old just starting to cook could make a souffle?

“Teru-nii, that’s not for beginners.”

Teru tilted his head. “Really? She did a great job, first try. Maybe she should be cooking more, then.”

Kou was speechless. His sister may be a prodigy.

He shook his head. “You’re crazy. I’m gonna go get dressed.” He looked over at the outlet next to him. “Can I borrow your phone charger? Sousuke needs it.”

“Sure.” Teru handed Kou his phone charger and turned his attention back to the news.

Charger in hand, Kou walked back up the stairs to his bedroom, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight he walked in on.

Sousuke stood in the middle of his room wearing one of Kou’s favourite t-shirts, which was a light shade of blue, and Kou’s dark blue pair of jeans. His hair was back up in its usual ponytail, leaving Kou to mourn his loose hair from the previous night. Kou wished he could take a photo of him right then and there and keep it forever. 

There were so many things he wanted to say. You look amazing. You’re so beautiful. I want you to wear my clothes every day. I love you. Please marry me.

Instead, all that left his mouth was, “Is that all you could manage to put together?”

Sousuke scoffed. “Yeah, from what actually fit me. I didn’t think you were that broad.”

Kou’s heart raced. Did this mean Sousuke tried on his other clothes? And Sousuke thought he had a broad build? Sure, his body wasn’t exactly weak, but he wouldn’t consider it to be “broad”. But Sousuke was pretty scrawny, he supposed.

“I’m really not. You’re just tiny.”

Sousuke stuck out his tongue and picked up some clothes that he had laid out on Kou’s bed. 

“Here,” he said, handing them to Kou. “This is your outfit for the day.”

“Thanks, Sousuke. Oh, wait.” Kou tossed Teru’s phone charger onto his bed. “Feel free to use that to charge your phone. I’ll go get changed in the bathroom.”

The outfit Sousuke picked for him turned out to be a white button-up, a black tie, black pants, and red suspenders he forgot he even owned. It wasn’t the most flashy thing he’d ever worn, but it wasn’t like he owned a lot of bold clothes that Sousuke didn’t consider an ‘attack on the eyes’. The flash of red went well with his favourite earring, too, which Kou wouldn’t have even considered.

“Not bad,” he said, walking back into his room. “The suspenders match my earring; good eye.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes. “I knew nothing would stop you from wearing that thing, so I had to make do.” He looked Kou up and down, admiring his work. Kou suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze.

“I think it suits you, this look.”

“Yeah?” Kou looked down. “I look like a journalist from the 80’s.”

Sousuke snorted. “They’re your clothes. Don’t judge me.”

Kou rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Wanna eat breakfast now?”

Sousuke nodded and stood up. “We can plan our day while you cook for me.”

Kou rolled his eyes as they started walking back downstairs. “I’m cooking for both of us. I’m not your servant.”

“Whatever you say, Minamoto-kun.”

Kou ignored that.

“So, what do you want to eat?”

Sousuke hummed before deciding, “Waffles.”

“You’re assuming I have a waffle iron.”

“Well, do you?”

“...Yes.”

“So make some waffles, servant!”

Kou shoved Sousuke into the kitchen. “I’m only making them because I also want waffles.”

Sousuke looked unconvinced. “Sure, Minamoto-kun.”

“Well, don’t think you can get away with not helping.” Kou told him, pulling batter ingredients out of the fridge. “You’ll cut some fruit while I make them.”

Sousuke opened his mouth to argue, but Kou spoke again before he could. “If you don’t, I’m eating all of them by myself. I’m not kidding.”

With an exaggerated groan and eye roll, Sousuke pulled out a cutting board and a knife, and started searching the Minamoto kitchen for fruit. 

Kou smiled. It was so domestic, seeing Sousuke help out in his kitchen. It would be a dream come true to live with Sousuke, to have a life together, but deep down he knew it was impossible. So it was a bit of a melancholy sight, but he let himself enjoy it while he had the chance. He had to tell Sousuke his feelings eventually, though. Just… not yet. He didn’t want to face the inevitable rejection yet. He wanted to be selfish for a little while longer.

“Minamoto-kun.”

Kou snapped out of his thoughts. “Yeah?”

“Strawberries and oranges okay?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Thanks for helping.”

“I’m only doing this so that you’ll actually feed me,” Sousuke grumbled. “Making me cook to keep me from starving. What a sadist.”

Kou laughed and poured some of the batter into his waffle iron. 

“Well, you’ll get to eat soon. They’re almost ready.”

“They’d better be."

Sousuke walked over to Kou after cutting all the fruit and put his head on his shoulder. Kou’s heart nearly leaped out of his chest at the contact.

“You good?” Kou asked weakly.

Sousuke hummed in response. “Tired,” he mumbled. 

“Dude, how long do you usually sleep? Ten hours is already way more than I get on the regular.”

Sousuke shrugged. “Maybe eleven? I don’t keep track.”

“You’re insane.”

Sousuke ignored his comment and closed his eyes.

“You know, I saw your family photos in the hallway upstairs.”

Kou raised his eyebrows; he wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hm. Your mom was gorgeous.”

Kou smiled ruefully. “I know.”

“You know, I could take a new photo of your family. I could frame ones of your mom separately, and you’d have a family portrait without your dad to hang up.”

Kou’s heart swelled. He didn’t even know how to respond to Sousuke’s offer; no one had ever done something so kind for him.

“You don’t have to take me up on the offer, or anything,” Sousuke continued, “I just think you guys have been living on your own for so long that it’s weird not to have a photo of just the three of you. And your family shouldn’t be represented by your dad. I think you deserve better than that.”

“Sousuke, I don’t know what to say. I–” I love you. I love you. I love you. “Thank you. I’ll have to talk to Teru-nii about it, but I want to do it. I don’t want Tiara to idolize our dad when nii-chan has done so much for her.”

“You have, too, idiot.”

Kou opened the waffle iron and put the first finished waffle on a plate. “I guess you’re right,” he replied, pouring more batter into the iron.

—

When Kou finished up the waffles and put the fruit that Sousuke had sliced up on top of them, Sousuke looked like he was about to start salivating.

“Everything’s done now, right? If I don’t eat these right now, I think I’ll die.”

Kou laughed and carried their plates to the kitchen table. “Yeah, they’re done. I don’t have anything else to put on them, sorry. The kitchen’s a little empty.”

As soon as Kou took his seat at the table, Sousuke started digging in like it was his first meal in days.

“Are they that good?” he teased.

To his surprise, Sousuke nodded. “I don’t think you realize how good of a cook you are, Minamoto-kun. My mom and I cook every now and then, but it’s not very impressive. We usually just eat out or get pre-made meals as groceries.” He took another big bite. “And Kamome’s dining halls are shit. You’d know. So a good breakfast like this is hard to come by.”

“Oh! If that’s the case, I could have made more than just waffles-”

Sousuke waved his hand in front of his face. “Don’t worry about it. This is good enough for me. Besides,” he pointed a finger at Kou, “we need to figure out what we’re doing today. Do you have your phone?”

Kou nodded and took it out of his pocket. 

“Okay, open your map and give it to me.”

Kou eyed Sousuke suspiciously.

“What? I’m not gonna snoop through your porn collection or anything.”

“I don’t have a-”

“I know you have one, pervert. But I just want to look at what there is to do around here.”

Begrudgingly, Kou handed his phone over to Sousuke. Really, he was going to do it as soon as Sousuke told him to, but Sousuke didn’t need to know that.

Sousuke hummed as he looked through Kou’s map app. “Ooh, an arcade!”

Kou shrugged. “It’s just crane games.”

Sousuke’s eyes lit up. “Even better. We’re going.”

“You’re just going to make me pay for all the games!”

“Yup!” 

Kou sighed. “Fine. We’ll go to the arcade.”

Sousuke grinned and ate the last bite of his breakfast.

—

“I’ve got to say, Minamoto-kun, the fruit was really the best part of that breakfast,” Sousuke told Kou as they walked down the street the arcade was on. 

“Would you say that if I was the one who cut it?”

“Well, you didn’t cut it, so how would I know?”

“God, you’re insufferable.”

Sousuke simply stuck out his tongue.

“Okay, it should be on this corner,” Kou told him, checking his phone. 

Sousuke laughed deviously. “Minamoto-kun, get your wallet ready.”

Kou sighed, but pulled out his wallet anyway as they approached the arcade. “We can’t play that many, okay? Just five or six each.”

Sousuke pouted. “That’s it? Seriously?”

“This place is expensive!”

“Well, that must mean these prizes are the real deal then, right?”

Kou shrugged. “I guess. I haven’t gone since I was a kid.”

Upon entering the building, Sousuke gasped and immediately rushed to a claw machine containing stupidly large stuffed marine animals.

He stretched out his hand towards Kou. “Minamoto-kun! Money, please!” 

Kou sighed and put 200 yen in his hand. “Going for one of the penguins?”

Sousuke nodded. “It’s just so cute– not as cute as me, of course, but you know.”

Kou chuckled. “You wish.”

To Kou’s surprise, Sousuke ended up winning the stuffed penguin after only three tries, which was great for his wallet, but it meant that the two of them would probably have some trouble bringing all of their winnings home.

“Why do you need something that big, anyway? Where would you even put it?”

Sousuke scoffed. “Of course a simpleton like you wouldn’t understand. How about you go over there and win me one of those guys?” He pointed towards a claw machine full of various reasonably sized plushies.

“Tch. You’re lucky I don’t want anything for myself here.” Of course, Kou would have done it either way.

He handed Sousuke some more money and walked over to the game Sousuke told him to go to. There were rabbits, wolves, and– lions. Yes. Kou was definitely getting him a lion. Serves him right for dissing them all the time.

He put 200 yen into the machine, positioned the claw perfectly above the lion he had his eyes on, and watched the claw close around the lion, pick it up, and… drop it right away. 

Okay, no problem. No one gets it on their first try. 

So he tried again. And again. And again, until he had already played six times, but was still empty handed.

“No luck?” Sousuke asked, making Kou jump. Jesus, how long had he been trying to win this one game for?

“Um,” Kou checked his wallet. “I have enough for one more try.”

Sousuke laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll save you.”

Sousuke put the rest of the money Kou gave him into the machine, and shifted all his focus onto the claw in front of him. He maneuvered it with ease, getting it in just the right position to descend, pick up the lion, and drop it into the little trap door for won prizes.

“Easy,” he said smugly.

“How the fuck did– are you in on it? Did you help them rig it?”

Sousuke laughed. “I think you’re just bad at it, Minamoto-kun,” Kou gave him a side-eye, “But thanks for trying so hard for me.” He snatched up the lion and handed the penguin over to Kou. “Carry this for me, will you?”

“You’re the worst,” Kou told him, picking it up anyway. It was lighter than he expected it to be, but he knew Sousuke would have still made him carry it if it were heavier.

—

“So, did you win anything else?” Kou asked as they walked out of the arcade.

Sousuke’s eyes widened a fraction, seemingly caught off guard. “Maybe,” he said, looking like he was fighting off a smile.

Huh. That was interesting. Kou decided not to pry.

“So,” Sousuke changed the subject, “are we going anywhere else?”

“You’re asking me?”

Sousuke shrugged.

“I guess we could get lunch, but it’s still kind of early. There’s a park nearby, though, if you want to go there.”

“Sure. My expectations are high, Minamoto-kun; don’t disappoint me!”

“I didn’t build the park, Sousuke.”

“Well no, but you’re the one giving me a day out on the town, so I’m grading your efforts.”

“Huh? Have you been giving me points in your head all morning?”

“More like deducting points.”

“Fuck you! I paid for everything!”

“Bad attitude. Minus two points.”

“Asshole!”

Sousuke tilted his head back, laughing. “You’re funny when you pretend to be mad, Minamoto-kun.”

“Who said I’m pretending?”

Sosuke just laughed again, and Kou wished he could listen to that laugh forever. He couldn’t believe he had been holing himself up in his room for weeks instead of hanging out with Sousuke like this, when the guy had apparently been waiting for him. God, he felt so guilty.

—

“Fuck, I wish I had my camera; this place is actually gorgeous.” Sousuke awed as they started walking through the park. 

Kou hadn’t visited that park in at least a year, so he forgot how pretty it was, with a small pond and its inhabitants making it feel more serene.

When they reached a bench, Sousuke put his lion plush down, signaling for Kou to do the same with what he was holding, and pulled out his phone to photograph the view.

“C’mere.” he gestured for Kou to walk closer to him. 

“Hm? What’s up?”

Without saying anything, Sousuke flipped his phone camera, turned his phone around, and pulled Kou into a side hug. Oh. Fuck. A selfie.

Kou felt his face heat up, but smiled awkwardly and gave a thumbs up like he did in every group photo. He hoped his face didn’t look too red on camera.

“Oh my god, you’re such a loser,” Sousuke laughed after taking a few photos and looking through them. 

“Hey!”

“I mean, thumbs up? Seriously? Please never become famous; you’d be terrible at it.”

“The fuck is your problem?”

Sousuke faltered for a second. “Oh, sorry, I–”

Fuck. No no no, don’t feel guilty.

“No, it’s fine!” Kou said hurriedly. “I know you’re not serious. Don’t worry.”

Sousuke still looked unsure. “You sure? I know sometimes I–”

“Dude. It’s fine. But, I mean, it wouldn’t kill you to be a little nicer sometimes, would it?”

“No, it really would.”

“Right, yeah. Of course. Nevermind.”

The two of them laughed and fell back into a nice back and forth conversation, with Sousuke hugging the lion plush the whole time. Cute. Kou liked to imagine this would be what dating Sousuke was like – giving each other cute little gifts, sitting together and chatting, wearing each other’s clothes– it was almost too good to be true.

“Hey, Minamoto-kun, I’m getting kind of hungry.”

“Same here. We can eat out, but it has to be cheap this time.”

Sousuke shrugged. “Fine with me; I like fast food.”

Kou smiled. “Cool. Let’s go.”

—

The two of them ended up walking into a burger chain restaurant, still carrying the ludicrously large penguin plush with them. After Sousuke took a longer than average time deliberating what to order, they told their orders to the cashier. Surprisingly, though, before Kou could open his wallet, Sousuke slid his debit card forward.

“Sousuke, you didn’t have to do that.” Kou told him as they sat down at the counter.

“Um, I’m the one with a job, remember? I don’t want you going broke, Minamoto-kun.”

Oh, Kou’s poor heart.

He couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face. “Thanks, Sousuke.”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “I bought you a burger and fries, not a car. Calm down.”

“Still,” his smile didn’t falter, “it’s a nice change of pace.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a smile nonetheless. “Well, you’re welcome, Minamoto-kun."

Notes:

thank you for reading!!!! i want to give you all a huge thank you for the support on this fic! it means so so much to me especially as a (kinda) first time writer :") i've been a mitsukou truther for over 5 years now so it's nice to finally put some of my ideas out there. a couple things to note:
1. the waffles are inspired by the mitsukou waffles from the tbhk cafe (but in this fic, mitsuba picked the fruits on purpose bc they look like them)
2. kou's outfit is the one he wore in this merchline (yes i have the kou stand. yes it's the best purchase i've ever made.)
3. mitsuba is majoring in art with a concentration in photography :3
what do you think mitsuba secretly won at the arcade? let me know all your thoughts!! <3<3

Chapter 9

Summary:

Kou and Mitsuba do laundry and talk more about their feelings :3

Notes:

sorry for not uploading very consistently... i am kind of dying... i hope you enjoy though!!

When he and Sousuke returned to his house after their lunch, Kou immediately started washing a load of laundry for Sousuke’s clothes so that he wouldn’t forget to do it later.

 Sousuke stood idly in the laundry room, tapping his fingers against the wall as Kou poured detergent into the washing machine. “Is your brother at work?”

“Mm-hm”, Kou affirmed, turning the machine on.

“What does he do?”

Kou stood up from where he was kneeling at the machine and started leading Sousuke out of the laundry room. “He’s a security guard.”

“Woah, seriously? But he’s so gentle!”

Kou snickered. “He usually is, but he can get scary.”

“Does he, like… hit you?”

“What? No!” Kou turned back to face him. “It’s more like, he gets really worried if he thinks either me or Tiara are in danger. I remember once Tiara and I almost got hit by a driver that wasn’t looking and Teru-nii totally told him off. He doesn’t really get angry with us, now that I think about it.”

Sousuke hummed. “Still, it’s hard to imagine him being stern at all. I guess I’ve only met him a couple times, though.” He looked towards the stairs. “Are we going back up to your room?” 

Kou shrugged. “Sure. Anything else you want to do before we head back to campus?”

Sousuke shook his head. “Nothing in particular. I need to charge my phone again, though; the battery didn’t get very high before we left.”

So, when they got to Kou’s room, Sousuke plugged Kou’s charger into his phone and collapsed onto his bed, already scrolling through social media. 

Kou shook his head. “No decorum.”

“What?” Sousuke whined. “The outlet’s next to your bed, what do you expect me to do? I’m an influencer, you know! I need to stay online to improve my brand!”

“Please. You barely qualify as an influencer. Plus, you’re not ‘improving your brand’, you’re just looking at people’s posts to talk shit about them.” Kou sat next to him on the bed.

“Am no– hold up.” Sousuke sat up. “Air boy is throwing a party tomorrow.”

“Air boy?” Kou raised an eyebrow.

“Hyuuga.”

He had forgotten about Sousuke’s weird nickname for the guy. He really didn’t understand why Sousuke hung out with someone he saw as an idiot. His social circle confused Kou.

“Wait, he’s throwing a party on a week night?”

Sousuke gave him a strange look. “Tomorrow’s Friday.”

“Oh.” He had lost track of time again. “Right.”

“You’re coming with me, by the way,” Sousuke stated, lying back down. “To make up for my birthday party.”

“What? Haven’t I done that already? Like three times now?”

“Nuh uh! Not the actual party. Plus, air boy was at my party too. It’ll actually be making it up this time.”

Kou’s heart crumbled a bit. He knew that his “birthday redemptions” would end eventually, but hearing Sousuke say directly that this would actually make up for his party, well… Kou was disappointed, to say the least. At least he got to spend this much time with Sousuke, even for a little while. He’d miss these dates, though. Hang-outs, he corrected himself. But they really did feel like dates; Kou couldn’t help but call them that in his head.

“So is this gonna be the last one?” Kou asked, still clinging to a bit of hope.

Sousuke tilted his head to one side and hummed. “Well, it depends. If there’s no good liquor, we’ll have to drink some ourselves another day. But I guess it…” his voice got quieter, “yeah. It’s probably the last one. We have finals coming up, anyway. Don’t want to get carried away.”

Sousuke almost sounded sad about it. It made sense, though. Sousuke had already told Kou how much he missed him. They were best friends, after all. Kou seriously needed to stop trying to look into everything through a romantic lens.

“Right. Makes sense.” Kou swallowed. “What time is the party?”

Sousuke checked his phone. “Nine-thirty. I’ll just meet you at your dorm building around then, and we can go together. It’s not very far.” He glanced back at Kou. “Um, you okay? You look… worried.”

“Yeah, I just–” Kou rubbed a hand over his face. “What kind of party is it?”

“What do you mean?”

Kou tried to put his thoughts into words. “Just, you know. What kind of people are gonna be there?”

“Um, air boy’s friends, I guess. The people I usually hang out with.” Kou’s facial expression must not have looked any better, because Sousuke spoke up again. “There won’t be any hardcore drugs or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. Just drinks and music. Maybe some smoking; really nothing crazy. Hyuuga’s not that popular.”

“Right, yeah. I’ll go, don’t worry, I just…” How could he express this without sounding like a total loser? “I don’t really do college parties, you know? That kind of party culture creeps me out. And I don’t really drink in public either, so I don’t really see the appeal for myself.”

“You don’t have to go, Minamoto-kun–”

“No, I will! I’m sure if you enjoy this guy’s parties it’ll be fine; I’m just not used to it. But I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself.”

Sousuke just raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s seriously fine, Minamoto-kun. You don’t have to.”

“No! I should experience an actual college party before I drop out, right? Plus, if I hate it, I’ll just leave. I’m not forcing myself to go, or anything.”

Sousuke took a second before responding. “Only if you’re sure, Minamoto-kun. Let me know if you change your mind.”

Ugh. It was that pity again. That was all Kou heard from people these days, and he was starting to seriously get sick of it. Sure, he knew everyone meant well, but he was just being treated like a kid. Yeah, he was struggling mentally, but he didn’t need to be constantly consoled; he didn’t need people to act like they were walking on eggshells while they were talking to him. Yeah, he didn’t like parties, but he didn’t need to be protected from them. And sure, Sousuke didn’t outright say that, but Kou wasn’t stupid. He could take a hint.

He was going to that fucking party.

“I won’t. I’m going.”

Sousuke sighed. “Alright, then. Just please, please, dress presentably. Maybe that way you could walk out of the party with a girl. Plus, you won’t embarrass me as much if you’re dressed well.”

Walk out with a girl? Seriously? “Sousuke, I’m not looking for a girlfriend right now.”

Sousuke raised his eyebrows. “No? Boyfriend, then?”

Kou’s stomach flipped. Well, yeah would have been a truthful response, but it wasn’t like Kou wanted to date just any guy. Still, he didn’t want to make Sousuke think he was straight.

He took too long to come up with a coherent answer, though, because Sousuke started backtracking.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed–”

“No, you, uh– I wouldn’t be, um, opposed to dating a guy, I just don’t really want to…” He thought for a second. Phrasing this honestly without giving his feelings away was difficult. “... mingle with strangers.”

Sousuke had an odd look in his eye, one Kou couldn’t place. He really needed to get better at reading that guy; too much of him was still a mystery.

Sousuke laughed. “The struggles of a young troubled bisexual.”

“Bisexual?” That word caught him by surprise.

“Are you… not bisexual?”

“I mean–” Well, by definition, Kou supposed he was. He had liked girls before, and he seriously liked Sousuke. He had never considered calling himself anything like that, though. “I guess I never thought about labelling myself like that? That kinda stuff’s just not that important to me, I guess.”

“Huh.” was all that Sousuke said in response initially. Then, after a beat, “So did you always know?” 

This must be the type of question Sousuke gets asked a lot, Kou thought. He wasn’t entirely sure how to answer it.

“I mean… I never questioned it, or anything. Just… One day I realized I had feelings for a guy. And it felt normal. I didn’t think twice about it.”

“What? No internal turmoil or anything?”

Kou chuckled. “Did you want something more interesting?”

“I wanted something realistic. It’s usually not that easy for people to accept that.”

Kou shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I just don’t think about my feelings that much.” He turned towards Sousuke. “Was it hard for you, then?”

Wait. He shouldn’t ask something like that.

“No, wait, sorry– That’s stupid, don’t answer that–”

“It could have been.”

Huh? That wasn’t the kind of answer Kou was expecting.

“I knew when I was really young that I didn’t have any interest in girls, and I really wasn’t surprised with myself at my first crushes on men. My parents weren’t surprised, either. And that was alright. It was fine. But then… Well, I already told you about the bullying, didn’t I?”

“Oh. Sousuke–”

“It made me doubt it a little, you know? What if the way I felt wasn’t okay?” He paused for a bit, then smirked. “But then I realized that everyone else was the problem. It was the bullies’ fault, not mine. I was closeted in high school, but only to protect myself. Really, I knew that being gay wasn’t wrong.” He laughed. “I guess I’m just that conceited; I loved myself too much to have internalized homophobia past age twelve.”

Kou just stared at him in awe. “And you think you aren’t strong?”

Sousuke’s eyes widened. 

Kou kept going. “Sousuke, you’re amazing. I’m glad you didn’t let them get to you. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to go through all that. You’re seriously strong, dude.”

Sousuke’s face reddened. “Stop being so nice; it’s starting to get creepy. Just insult me or something.”

“What are you, some kind of masochist?”

“Masochist? Do you even know what that word means?”

“You’re the one who called me a sadist earlier!”

“That’s because I genuinely think you get enjoyment out of other people’s pain! Freak!”

“And I genuinely think you like getting insulted.”

Sousuke’s face got even redder, and he took one of Kou’s pillows and threw it at him. He picked up another, then stopped.

“Isn’t your bed a little more bare than it was yesterday?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Kou suddenly remembered that he gave Sousuke one of his blankets the night before. “I put one of my blankets on your sleeping bag. It didn’t look very comfortable.”

Sousuke put down the pillow he was holding. “You didn’t have to do that, Minamoto-kun.”

Kou shrugged. “I still slept well; it’s really no big deal.”

Sousuke had that look in his eye again. “Whatever. I’m going to the bathroom.”

He hopped off of Kou’s bed and walked out the door. Kou noticed he had left his phone behind, though. And it was still on.

The angel on Kou’s shoulder warned him not to, but he picked up Sousuke’s phone anyway. He didn’t want to accidentally post anything or send any messages, so he just opened Sousuke’s camera roll and started scrolling through the photos Sousuke had taken while they were out. He swiped past a photo of their lunch and a photo of the lion plush on the restaurant counter, then landed on the selfie they had taken at the park. Sousuke was right– Kou really did look ridiculous. No one would be looking at him, though– Sousuke looked radiant. He had such a bright smile on his face, one that Kou knew by now to be 100% genuine. His heart bloomed at the thought of Sousuke being this happy just by spending time with him. 

He swiped past a few photos of the park’s scenery, then stopped. Sousuke had taken a photo of just Kou by himself, looking around the park and holding the penguin plush. 

What? Why did he take this? 

Fuck. Kou heard his footsteps. He quickly closed Sousuke’s gallery app and turned his phone off.

“Is the laundry gonna be done soon?” Sousuke asked, walking back into the bedroom.

“What, trying to get out of my house as soon as you can?” Kou desperately tried to calm his nerves. 

Sousuke shrugged and sat down next to his phone. “Just reminding you about it.”

That was considerate. A bit patronizing, but considerate. Sousuke didn’t sound like he was teasing him, either– just reminding him, as he’d said.

“We should have another 20 minutes or so,” he told Sousuke. “The dryer will take longer, though. We can leave at around 4, if you want.”

“Sounds good,” Sousuke mumbled, already scrolling on his phone again.

Kou wouldn’t ask about the photo. He decided not to think about it for the time being; his smile would be too big to hide.

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence for a while, with the occasional video playing from one of their phones. One thought had really been bothering Kou, though; he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey, Sousuke?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wear glasses?”

“Huh?” He looked up from his phone. “What kind of question is that?”

Kou shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I was just wondering. Since you wear contacts, and all.”

“I do have a pair of glasses,” Sousuke told him, “but I didn’t bring them to campus.”

“What? What if you need them?”

“Minamoto-kun, I wear daily contacts. That means I have a lot. I always keep spares on me, too. I don’t need my glasses.”

“You don’t even wear them as, like, a fashion statement?”

“Only if they really suit my outfit. They take away from my beautiful eyes, you know?”

Kou gave him a side eye, but didn’t disagree. Really, though, nothing could distract Kou from Sousuke’s eyes. 

“Why are you asking, anyway? Do you have some sort of glasses kink? Pervert.”

Wait. Did he? 

Kou just thought that Sousuke would look really nice in glasses, and it would be a change from what he normally looked like. But was it actually a fetish? Was he actually a pervert? Now Kou wasn’t 100% sure.

“Wait, are you fucking serious? You’re actually into that?”

That snapped him out of his thoughts. “No! Obviously not. Stop calling me a pervert, you masochist,” he deflected.

“I’m not a masochist!”

“Prove it.”

Sousuke blushed. “How would I even–”

Kou burst out laughing. Sousuke only looked more flustered.

“You should see your fucking face, man.” 

Sousuke picked up the pillow he had discarded earlier and chucked it at Kou’s head, only making him laugh harder.

Sousuke’s face shifted then, a soft smile spreading across his face. It didn’t go unnoticed.

Kou raised his eyebrows. “What’s up?”

Sousuke laughed a bit. “Nothing, it’s just nice to see you smiling. Have you been feeling alright today?”

Kou struggled to form cohesive thoughts for a second. “Uh, yeah. I feel great. Thanks for hanging out with me, Sousuke.”

Sousuke. Happy. Because Kou was happy. Holy shit.

“Hey, the washing cycle should be done now, right?”

What a 180. Kou had nearly forgotten about the laundry, though.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll put it in the dryer.”

Kou meant for Sousuke to stay in his room, but he followed Kou back to the laundry room and started loading his clothes into the dryer instead.

“Sousuke, you don’t have to–”

“They’re my clothes; I don’t want your grubby hands touching them.”

What an obvious lie.

“You know, Sousuke, for someone who accuses me of being scared of being vulnerable, you change the subject a lot when I bring up your feelings.”

“Is that so?” Sousuke asked, still facing the dryer. 

“Mm-hm.” Kou wasn’t really sure where to steer this conversation, actually. Why the fuck did he say that?

“Does it bother you?”

Huh?

“Yes? I want to know when you’re upset about something, Sousuke.”

“Interesting.” Sousuke responded hollowly, turning on the dryer.

“Listen, I don’t want to force you to tell me anything, I just– You know I’m here for you, right? I know my mental health isn’t great right now, but I–”

“If I wanted to tell you, I’d tell you,” Sousuke snapped, turning around to face Kou. “Drop it. Please.”

Kou gulped. “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry.”

Sousuke sighed and stood up. “Stop saying that. I’m just not ready to share everything, okay? But I’m not keeping things from you.”

Wasn’t he, though? Not maliciously, sure, but he was still keeping things from him, by definition. Kou didn’t comment on that, though.

“Do you have any coke?”

“You’re def–”

“Yes, I’m deflecting.” Sousuke walked up to Kou. “I also want coke.”

Kou sighed. “I’ve only got juice.”

“Good enough.” 

As Kou led him into the kitchen, Sousuke put his hands on Kou’s back and pressed his forehead against him. 

“Sorry. For not…” he trailed off. “I’ll tell you more when I’m ready, okay?”

“I really don’t want to pressure you, Sousuke. You don’t need to.” Kou tried to keep his heart from racing from the contact, but to no avail.

“I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you, though.” Sousuke interjected.

“Of course I don’t,” Kou assured him. “But you do always tell me–”

“I know I say that I don’t trust you. You know I’m kidding, though, right?”

Kou turned around to face him. “Of course I do.”

He really shouldn’t have accused Sousuke of being afraid to be vulnerable. This was the most vulnerable Kou had ever seen him, especially after telling him about his life growing up. Seriously, why the fuck did Kou say that? What a fucking idiot.

He put a hand on Sousuke’s shoulder. “You don’t need to tell me everything, okay? I just want you to remember that you can.”

Sousuke nodded.

“Thank you, Minamoto-kun.”

Notes:

thanks for reading!!! let me know all your thoughts<3<3 i love u all :)

Chapter 10

Summary:

Flashback of their first meeting + party :3

Notes:

sorry this took so long ㅠㅠ i hope you enjoy the new 4k chapter!!

Mitsuba Sousuke did not want to be at freshman orientation.

It was way too hot for April, and after having lunch at one of the shitty dining halls, half of the freshman class was stuffed into a gymnasium made to look like an auditorium. Doesn’t Kamome have a theatre program? Why aren’t we in a theater with actual seats instead of plastic chairs? Fuck this.

Despite being one of the freshmen in his group, Sousuke was on photo duty, which was great for three reasons– he was getting paid, he didn’t have to listen to anything the orientation group leaders were saying, and people wouldn’t bother him because they thought he wasn’t a freshman. He hadn’t socialized much since arriving at college, and he still wasn’t quite ready for meeting a lot of new people yet. He had gotten tired of being plain and docile in high school, but he didn’t want to spit out a bunch of his verbal venom right away. How the fuck did extroverts do it?

Regardless, he was very happy with no one approaching him. Well, no one was supposed to approach him, anyway.

“Hey!” Suddenly there was a hand tapping Sousuke’s shoulder.

Sousuke turned around to come face to face with some blonde kid with a– did his earring say traffic safety? Not a great first impression. 

The guy seemed to notice Sousuke’s camera. “Oh, sorry; I thought you were a student.”

Sousuke chuckled. “No, I am. I’m also a freshman, actually. I’m just taking photos for the school.”

The guy’s eyes widened. “Seriously? They’re not worried you’ll, like, miss orientation?”

Sousuke shrugged. “I would have tuned it out anyway. And money’s money, you know?”

The guy laughed. “I guess so. I’m Kou, by the way. Minamoto Kou.” He extended a hand.

Sousuke shook it. “Mitsuba Sousuke.”

Minamoto gave a crooked smile. “Nice to meet you.” He let go of Sousuke’s hand. “So are you a fashion student? You kinda dress like it.”

Sousuke snickered. “Well you certainly don’t.” Oh. There went his venom. Sousuke tried to recover, “I’m majoring in art, though. With a photography concentration.” He gestured at his camera.

“I mean, I was just asking because fashion students dress like they’re trying to be five things at once,” Minamoto said without hesitation. 

What? Did he just–

Minamoto started pointing to parts of Sousuke’s appearance. “I mean, you’ve got an emo haircut–”

“Wait–”

“a scarf even though it’s spring–”

“Hey now–”

“And that stripe pattern? It looks like you’re trying to bring a dead trend back from the 90’s.”

“Hey! I don’t have an ‘emo’ haircut, first of all–”

“Could have fooled me.”

“What the fuck?”

Minamoto just laughed and moved on. “Can you still sit, even though you’re the photographer? Orientation is long; you can’t be comfortable standing the whole time.”

Huh?? Sousuke was going to get whiplash from this guy. Why was he still being so nice after insulting him back?

“Uh, I guess it’s not against the rules,” Sousuke told him. “I should still be able to get good shots if I sit in the front row.”

Minamoto’s face lit up. “Oh, awesome! My friends and I are sitting in the front row. Want to join us?”

Of course someone so blindingly bright had friends already. 

“You made friends on day one?” Sousuke raised an eyebrow.

Minamoto laughed and scratched his neck. “Well, we’re on the soccer team together, so… you know.”

No, Sousuke did not know. What was he supposed to gather from that? 

“Plus,” Minamoto continued with a smile, “You’re my friend now too.”

Sousuke wanted to ask ‘says who?’ or insult him again, but decided against it, choosing instead to just walk with Minamoto to the front of the gymnasium.

—

Minamoto Kou was annoying. Sousuke had no idea what that guy’s intentions were. While they were waiting for the orientation group leaders to start speaking, Minamoto and his friends, a couple other soccer blockheads, were making small talk. This would have been fine if he didn’t keep trying to include Sousuke in the conversation. He was all “Mitsuba, what do you think?” and “Hey Mitsuba, what dorm building are you in?”– Sousuke was sick of it. Why was he being so nice? What was he after? Or was he– no, he definitely wasn’t flirting; Minamoto was too straight and stupid for that.

To Sousuke’s relief, they didn’t have to wait too long for the afternoon’s orientation to actually start. Finally, a break from that idiot’s voice. Sousuke settled into his groove, taking photos of the presentation and quietly getting out of his seat to get shots of the freshmen from the front every ten minutes or so. It was going fine until he made the mistake of looking at Minamoto again about half an hour in. 

Minamoto was staring attentively at the orientation leader, absorbing everything she was saying; Sousuke was almost surprised the guy wasn’t taking notes. He looked Minamoto up and down. Well, when he wasn’t blabbing everyone’s ear off, he was kind of–

Ew. No.

Sousuke forced his eyes away. He could not develop feelings for another straight guy, especially not during the first week of college. 

But… What else was he supposed to do when an athlete came right up to him and pretty much demanded friendship? 

Nope. Absolutely not. Sousuke wouldn’t let them be friends; he couldn’t do that to himself. 

If anyone asked why there was a close-up shot of Minamoto in the orientation album, though, Sousuke had no idea.

—

“Minamoto-kun, I’m outside your building, where are you? It’s surprisingly cold out here.”

Kou put his phone against his ear and started fastening his belt. “Just give me a minute, Sousuke; I’m still getting ready.”

“Well, hurry up!”

“You want me to look ‘presentable’, don’t you? Just get someone to let you in if you’re cold.”

“If you’re not out here in five minutes, I’m leaving you behind.” And with that, Sousuke hung up.

Kou sighed and turned his attention back to the mirror in front of him. He had put on a white t-shirt, an orange jacket with its sleeves rolled up, and beige trousers.

This should be fine, right? 

Kou looked over at the box he kept his earrings in. Sousuke would probably kill him if he wore his usual, so he settled for a pair of studs for the night.

Double checking his appearance one more time, Kou grabbed a plastic water bottle, his key, and Sousuke’s key just in case, then headed out the door.

“Minamoto-kun! Took you long enough,” Sousuke complained as Kou walked out of his residence hall. “We’re going to be late.”

“Aren’t we already late?”

“Well yeah, but there’s normal late when everyone shows up, and then there’s the type of late that draws attention to us.”

What the fuck did that mean?

Kou raised an eyebrow. “But you love being the center of attention.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes and started walking in the direction of the closest bus stop. “Of course you wouldn’t understand. Just forget I said anything.”

Sousuke’s insults didn’t usually get to him, but tonight it was honestly starting to get annoying. Kou was anxious enough about the party and Sousuke’s rudeness was just stressing him out more, even though Kou usually felt more at ease around him. Arguing now wasn’t going to do either of them any good, though, so Kou decided to just wait it out.

—

The bus was crowded. It was full of people dressed up to go to their respective parties, and it was fucking loud. Kou had let Sousuke take the last open seat when they first got on the bus, and now he was one of the lucky people who even had a handle to hold. Kou glanced at his friend– Sousuke was tapping away on his phone, seemingly messaging someone while completely ignoring Kou. He looked really fucking good, though. He had his hair down, which Kou almost didn’t notice because he had his hood up, and his hoodie rested unzipped over a black shirt, with a white tie and white pants bringing the look together. He was also wearing subtle eye makeup, and… was that lip gloss? Was Sousuke trying to get lucky tonight? Jesus. Maybe coming along was a mistake, after all.

After a few stops, Sousuke glanced up and looked out the window. “We’re getting off at the next one.” He eyed Kou’s water bottle. “Why are you bringing that with you?”

“Well, I’m not gonna drink, so…” Kou trailed off. 

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think there’ll be water?”

Well now Kou just felt stupid. Before he had a chance to say anything to save himself, the bus stopped again and Sousuke was getting up and ushering him off onto the street in a residential area. Kou hadn’t paid much attention earlier, but it really was cold outside. He hugged his jacket closer to himself.

“It’s a block down this way; come with me,” Sousuke said, taking Kou’s free hand and walking in the direction of Hyuuga’s house.

Taking… his hand. Taking his hand.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Kou’s feet caught up with Sousuke, even though his brain still hadn’t.

“Uh,” he tried getting his mind back together, “Should I just ditch this, then?” He held up the water bottle.

“Nah,” Sousuke replied. “I wouldn’t be surprised if air boy’s tap wasn’t working.”

Kou couldn’t help the smile that took over his face. 

—

When they got to Hyuuga’s house, Kou wasn’t as nervous, surprisingly. Funnily enough, since he was spending so much time with Sousuke lately, he had forgotten how empty he usually felt. That or he had just been overthinking the party; it was just a house full of college kids, after all. It really couldn’t be that bad. 

Sousuke opened the front door without knocking, and Kou followed him inside, taking off his shoes in the entryway.

“Mitsuba-chan! You’re here!” Hyuuga called, clearly already drunk. He then seemed to take notice of Kou, “Oh, you brought a date! But I didn’t think–”

Sousuke shoved him lightly, cutting him off. “Shut up. Go bother Nanamine-senpai instead of me.”

Hyuuga pouted. “She’s in the bathroom. I gotta wait.”

“Not my problem,” Sousuke replied, walking past him, and turned around to gesture for Kou to join him. “Come on. He’s got a really comfy couch.”

Sousuke really knew his way around this house, huh? Well, Kou wasn’t surprised– he knew Sousuke went out a lot. Still, it just felt so weird seeing him move around some upperclassman’s house like it was his own. 

The further they moved into the house, the more noticeable the scent of cigarette smoke became. Ha. ‘Maybe some smoking’, my ass. Shouldn’t there be an alarm going off at this point? Kou glanced up, only to see that the nearest smoke detector had been covered by a shower cap. Figures.

The two of them stopped at a table in the kitchen so that Sousuke could peruse the alcohol, only for him to frown and mutter about them not having anything good. Not that Kou would know. Sousuke took a couple of cans anyway. 

The kitchen was where most of the partygoers were, drinking and dancing to music that was way too loud. Kou did not want to be in that room longer than necessary, so he quickly joined Sousuke on the aforementioned couch, and sure enough, it was seriously comfortable. Kou felt himself relax as he sat down, only to tense right back up at the sight of his least favourite person walking into the living room.

“Oi! Mitsuba!”

Sousuke perked up and waved him over. “Tsukasa-kun!” 

Oh fuck no.

Tsukasa practically jumped onto the couch cushion on the other side of Sousuke, getting way too in his space for Kou’s liking.

“Man, it’s been forever since we last talked!”

With a smile, Sousuke cracked open one of the cans he had picked up. “No it hasn’t. You’re being dramatic.” He took a few gulps.

Kou couldn’t even tell if Tsukasa was drunk; he was always acting like he was in the middle of a manic episode, so Kou wouldn’t be surprised if he was completely sober.

“But I missed you!” Tsukasa whined, throwing an arm around Sousuke’s shoulder. Sousuke didn’t seem to mind one bit.

Tsukasa’s eyebrows suddenly shot up like there was a lightbulb turning on in his head. “We should go dance!”

No. Don’t go with him. Don’t leave me here.

Sousuke shrugged and took another sip. “Sure. I’m taking this with me, though.”

Tsukasa threw his hands up in childlike excitement. “Yay! Come on, come on!”

Kou could barely form a thought as Tsukasa hurriedly dragged Sousuke off the couch and into the kitchen. Was everything moving fast, or was Kou’s lack of sleep catching up to him? Everything about this just felt so… off. He couldn’t bring himself to move a muscle.

Sousuke looked like he was having fun while dancing, at least. He was getting uncomfortably close to Tsukasa, though, practically grinding on him. Kou still didn’t look away. He didn’t look away even when Tsukasa put his arms over Sousuke’s shoulders from behind. They almost looked like… eugh. Fuck no.

Kou felt a weight sink onto the space next to him, snapping him out of his spiral a bit.

“Hey, Mitsuba’s boy!”

Kou peeled his eyes away from Sousuke only to find himself face to face with the other twin.

“You know my name,” Kou deadpanned.

Amane hummed. “Course I do. But I can’t say ‘Minamoto’ without thinking of your brother.”

Pause.

“You know my brother?” Kou asked incredulously.

Amane rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I was part of a research program at another university during my freshman year and he was my mentor.”

Kou just stared in shock for a few seconds before responding. “And you never told me about this?”

Amane shrugged. “It’s not like you need to tell me everything my brother does.”

“Well that’s different, isn’t it? You go to the same school. You’re the same age. My brother’s in, like, a different world from me.”

“Hm, that’s how you think of it?” Amane took a swig of his shochu bottle.

Is he really drinking that entire bottle? Jesus.

“How drunk are you?” Kou asked him.

Amane looked offended. “I’m not! I just started drinking this.” 

Kou just gave a small “oh” and turned his attention back to Sousuke, and– fuck, he was really all over Tsukasa now. It looked like he had finished his drink, since he wasn’t holding it anymore and his face was flushed. That was fast. 

“You and Mitsuba still aren’t dating?”

Kou turned back to Amane with a frown, choosing not to ask how he even knew about his feelings for Sousuke. “Um, no.”

“Why not?” He drank more of his shochu.

Why did people keep asking him this? You can’t date someone who doesn’t like you. That’s basic logic, isn’t it? Kou felt crazy. 

“What do you mean, ‘why not?’”

Amane shrugged. “Just date him. I don’t see the problem.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Kou was beginning to lose his temper. “It’s not that simple. I can’t ‘just date him’ if he doesn’t have feelings for me. I’m sick of hearing that.”

Amane blinked, then smiled devilishly. “You sure he doesn’t like you? Really?”

“I– Yes! You don’t know anything about us! And don’t you see him grinding on your brother?”

Amane burst out laughing. “If you think he has something going on with Tsukasa, I–” He laughed again. “Seriously, don’t worry about that. And,” he leaned in towards Kou, “he’s got a habit of drawing faces in his notes. Care to guess whose face it usually is?”

Kou leaned away from him. “Stop messing with me.”

“I’m not!” Amane pouted again. “I’m just helping you out.”

Kou rolled his eyes and brought his attention to the kitchen again. Sousuke was seriously drunk now, stumbling over his feet, only for fucking Tsukasa to catch him.

Kou felt seriously off about this party now. Everything in his head was telling him to leave and take Sousuke with him.

He waited until someone else started a conversation with Tsukasa–people actually want to talk to that guy?–and marched up to Sousuke.

“Minamoto-kun!” he exclaimed.

“Sousuke, let’s go.”

Sousuke frowned and stumbled a bit, nearly falling onto Kou. “Why?”

“You’re fucked up, dude.”

“Minamina-kun, I’m at a party. We’re all getting drunk.”

“You can’t even say my name properly!”

“Duh! That’s the idea, idiot. I wanna get wasted. If you want to leave, you can leave. I’m staying here.”

“With Tsukasa.” Kou added bitterly.

“With Tsukasa-kun.”

“He’s such a creep! Why can’t you see that?”

Sousuke was starting to actually look angry now. “I know he’s a creep.”

“So then why–”

“Because I’m a grown man! I can make my own decisions! I can drink and dance and be a separate person from you–”

“I’m not saying you’re not your own person–"

“Really? It sure sounds like you are!”

They were both yelling now. Kou didn’t think he had ever yelled at Sousuke before.

“I’m just worried about you–”

“Fuck off! Go home! If you’re so worried about me, you should–” Sousuke cut himself off and groaned. “Just leave if you’re not having fun. I’m not going with you.”

Didn’t he get it? Kou was trying to protect him. But– no, Sousuke was right; he was an adult and at the end of the day it wasn’t really Kou’s business. But he was looking out for his friend! If anything happened to Sousuke, Kou would never forgive himself. Still, though, there was no use arguing with Sousuke, much less Drunk Sousuke.

Kou took a step back and lowered his voice. “Okay. But call me if you need anything.”

Sousuke just flipped him off and started drinking another can of alcohol.

Okay, fuck this. 

Kou turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen, walking past a still very drunk Hyuuga slouched over a sober Nanamine’s shoulders back into the entryway.

“Leaving already?” Hyuuga called. 

“Uh,” Shit. He should be nice to the host. “Yeah. Sorry. Thanks for having me.” 

Hyuuga just held up his cup in a ‘cheers’ motion and turned his attention back to Nanamine.

Grumbling, Kou put his shoes back on and walked out the door, hoping he remembered where the closest bus stop was. 

—

The bus was empty, save for a drunk couple making out in the back. Kou was too exhausted to even be grossed out by them.

Kou checked his phone once he sat down– no notifications, shocker. He put his face in his hands and groaned. I just had an actual fight with Sousuke.

Sure, they tended to butt heads a lot, but none of their arguments were actually serious, or at least not ones of this magnitude. And thinking about it again, Kou was definitely in the wrong. Sousuke did this kind of stuff all the time; he enjoyed it. And so did most college students! How fucking selfish could he be? Was Kou just upset that Sousuke wasn’t paying attention to him? How fucking stupid. He should have just left without making a big deal out of everything.

And that ugly, selfish part of Kou deep inside wanted Sousuke to drink even more so that he’d forget their fight and the two of them could go back to normal the next day. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with him?

—

As soon as he returned to his dorm room, Kou collapsed into bed. He wanted to cry, he really did, but he just couldn’t. It wasn’t like Kou wasn’t a crier, either– he just hadn’t been able to do it lately. Did he need antidepressants? Ugh.

It was times like these where Kou really wished he actually had close relationships outside of Sousuke where he could vent without it being awkward. Sure, there was Nene, but he didn’t want to burden her with his problems. Plus, if she wasn’t at the party with her boyfriend, that meant she had something important going on. Kou really didn’t want to bother her. 

Well, there was one other option, though. Kou pulled out his phone.

 

Are you busy right now?

No
What’s going on? 11:09 PM

 

Only hesitating slightly, Kou pressed the call button on his screen. The phone didn’t even ring once before his brother answered.

“Kou? Are you okay?”

“Hey, Teru-nii.”

“It isn’t like you to call me out of nowhere. Did something happen?”

“Um,” How the hell was he supposed to do this? “I don’t really… have anyone else to talk to about this.” God, this was so embarrassing. 

“Really? Not... Kou, is this about Sousuke-kun? Did something happen between you?”

Kou’s silence gave his brother the answer he needed. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything, Kou.”

“Yeah, I know, I just– We, um… We fought.”

“I see.”

“He hangs out with this– this guy, and… You know Yugi Amane?”

“You know Yugi Amane?”

“Yeah, well. He’s got this twin brother who also goes to Kamome and he’s, like, really weird. He’s constantly hanging around Sousuke and being really touchy with him, and I’ve heard tons of rumors about him, too, and I– Sousuke still keeps hanging out with him. Tonight at a party, he got really drunk and was dancing with him–”

“So you’re jealous of this person?”

“Well– No, I…” Kou trailed off. Shit. He really was jealous, wasn’t he?

“Huh. Maybe I am."

“Is this what you fought over?”

“Kind of. I mean… Sousuke was seriously drunk, and I was worried about him, so I tried to get him to leave with me.”

“And Sousuke-kun wanted to stay?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Kou, why did you try to drag him out of there instead of just keeping watch? If you thought he was in some sort of danger, but he still wanted to–”

“I wanted to leave. I hated it there.”

Silence.

“I was really stupid tonight, Teru-nii.”

“I wouldn’t say that”, Teru reassured him. “You were showing concern for your friend, and you also removed yourself from a situation that was stressing you out. What I’m confused about is where the concern came from. You said that Yugi is creepy? Is that it?”

“Well, I heard things, too. Drug related things.”

“I see. Has he done anything with Sousuke-kun specifically?”

“Well no, but I just don’t get a good vibe from him.”

Kou could hear the smile in his brother’s voice. “Kou, it really just sounds like you’re jealous.”

Kou wasn’t as surprised as he expected to be at the conclusion. He didn’t like seeing Sousuke that close to anyone else, and tonight that person also happened to be someone Kou couldn’t stand. 

“Yeah. I’m jealous, Teru-nii.”

Teru chuckled softly. “It’s important to acknowledge that. I’m proud of you, Kou.”

There was the pity again. Kou ignored it.

“What do I do, though? I don’t normally have those kinds of feelings; I don’t know how to deal with them.”

Teru hummed. “Just try not to let it cloud your judgement. If Sousuke-kun likes him so much, he probably can’t be that bad.” Kou groaned. “But other than that, you just need to accept those feelings and keep going. It’s hard to change your entire perspective, and jealousy is something we all experience. I’m sorry, Kou, but I’m not sure what other advice I can give.”

Kou smiled at that. “That’s okay, Teru-nii. Thank you. Sorry for having so many problems these days.”

“Don’t speak like that. You don’t have anything to apologize for. Well, actually, Sousuke-kun could probably use an apology from you. But I don’t.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Kou doubted his ability to face Sousuke any time soon, but he agreed with Teru nonetheless. “Thanks again. Good night, Teru-nii.”

“Nighty night!” Teru cheerfully ended their call.

Kou tossed his phone onto the other side of his bed and just stared at the ceiling for a minute, thinking about how he was going to talk to Sousuke to apologize.

That minute became two, then five, and eventually the ceiling faded to black as Kou drifted off to sleep, best friend still on his mind.

Notes:

i'm sorry it took so long for me to update :(( i'm kinda burnt out and now i have packing and flights and lots of school stuff coming up so my mind is a little all over the place (not so different from kou's in this fic LOL) so i'm sorry if this chapter was not as strong as some of the othersㅠㅠ
but anyway!!! thank you so so so much for reading as always and please send me all your thoughts!! <3<3
also.. i made a tumblr... so if you have any questions about this au or my fics or anything at all, feel free to send a question to @/leeluckhee on tumblr!! have a great day ily all <3

Chapter 11

Summary:

Kou stresses about last night and gets drunk with Sousuke :)

Notes:

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGG thank you for being patient and enjoy!!!!

Kou awoke with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He tried turning his phone on to check the time, but it had run out of battery during the night. Shit. He looked out the window. The sun was already out, so he had somehow slept the entire night in his clothes with the lights on. Funny how that was the only time he could sleep uninterrupted. 

Feeling absolutely disgusting, Kou decided to shower while he waited for his phone to charge. The entire time, though, the only thoughts going through his head were among the lines of fuck, Sousuke hates me now and he’s gonna go off and date Tsukasa or something and leave me behind. 

The shower didn’t help. He still felt as gross as before, if not worse. When he came back to his dorm room, he picked up his phone with a shaking hand. It was 6:20 AM, and he had three new messages from Sousuke.

Fuck. Here we go.

He opened his messages, and– oh. The messages he got were… not what he expected to see.

 

Mitsuba Sousuke ✔ • @mitsuba_flicks

we gotta vett some begger alcohol this weekend
thaia shit is sooo abd
wish you were here 1:09 AM

 

What.

What??

Huh?!?

Had Sousuke forgotten their argument? Did he just not care? What? The fuck?

Kou didn’t even know how to respond to that. He had rehearsed countless apologies in his head, drafted imaginary messages, but to see that Sousuke not only wanted Kou to be there with him but also wanted to make plans for another day? What the fuck was he supposed to say? Okay, think. Maybe Sousuke would wake up and remember what happened– Kou didn’t want to act like he didn’t do anything wrong, but he didn’t want to apologize for something Sousuke had no recollection of, either. So, he just… didn’t respond. Waiting until he saw Sousuke in person would be better, right?

—

Kou tried to distract himself by studying, but that proved to be useless. He couldn’t stop fidgeting, and he could barely keep his mind on one thing at a time. After about an hour, he finally gave up and put in his earbuds, deciding to try cleaning his dorm room instead. It helped; doing something physical calmed down his nerves considerably. That made Kou realize how hungry he was, though– when was the last time he had eaten? Did he even eat dinner before the party? Jesus Christ.

Well, he figured he may as well just go to one of the dining halls and then camp out at the library to actually get some work done. He couldn’t spend the entire day thinking about Sousuke, after all.

So, Kou began to get his laptop and textbooks together to put in his bag for his study session, only to open the bag and see Sousuke’s clothes from the other day.

Fuck. I never gave these back. Kou glanced over at Sousuke’s key where it sat on his desk.

Well… it could be an excuse to figure out what had happened, right? So that he could stop worrying about it and be able to focus on his work. Really, whatever conversation they’d have would still be on Kou’s mind for the rest of the day, but he let himself believe otherwise.

—

Every step Kou took in the direction of Sousuke’s dorm building was more uncertain and shaky than the last, but he kept walking, grateful that a resident on their way out of the building held the door open for him without question. 

He lives on the third floor, right? Kou tried to rely on muscle memory as he climbed the stairs; it had been a while since he’d been in Sousuke’s room, but he used to visit pretty frequently. 

As he stepped onto the third floor, it hit him. Right. His door is the last one before the end of the hall. Across from the bathroom. He smiled a little to himself at the fact that he still remembered. How long had it been since he last came here, though?

Slowly, he approached Sousuke’s door, and shakily took the key out of his pocket. If this is the wrong door, I’m seriously gonna embarrass myself. He took a quick breath, then quietly slid the key into its lock and turned it. He slowly opened the door, and paused when he saw Sousuke.

The man in question was wearing headphones and facing the mirror in his room, not noticing Kou’s presence, and was… sticking his tongue out, putting up a peace sign, and winking.

“Uh… Sousuke?” Kou shook off his shoes and walked further into the room. 

At that, Sousuke finally turned towards the door and yelped when he saw Kou, yanking his headphones off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I came to return these– no, wait, what were you doing just now?”

“That doesn’t matter!” Sousuke was bright red now; Kou found it way cuter than he should have.

He took the clothes out of his bag and put them on Sousuke’s bed. “Here. Sorry I forgot to give them back earlier.”

Sousuke seemed to have calmed down a bit when he spoke, but was still blushing. “Oh. Thanks.” His expression was disinterested at best, and annoyed at worst.

“So, um,” Kou started. Fuck, he’d already forgotten every apology he thought of. “Do you… remember what happened last night?”

Sousuke crossed his arms. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” This wasn’t the scenario he had hoped for. “You texted me.”

“I did!?” Sousuke’s eyebrows shot up and he immediately picked up his phone. As he read his messages, he looked almost… relieved? That was weird. Did He think he'd cursed Kou out or something? Okay, Kou needed to apologize now before anything else happened.

“Listen, Sousuke, I’m really sorry.” Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing, so Kou continued. “I wasn’t trying to be controlling or anything, but I let my concern get the best of me.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I was just really uncomfortable at the party and I freaked out when I saw you drinking that much right away.”

Sousuke sighed and walked over to Kou.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, putting a hand on Kou’s shoulder. 

What? No. This was too weird. Sousuke always made a big deal out of everything.

“Seriously? It’s fine?” Kou asked. 

Sousuke smiled hollowly and looked at him with those damn unreadable eyes. “No, it’s not.”

That was even weirder. What the fuck was going on?

Kou began stuttering out an attempt at a response, only for Sousuke to speak again. 

“Anyway, I was telling the truth about that alcohol. Let’s drink something better. You’re free tomorrow, right?”

He was fucking deflecting again. Did something else happen at the party after Kou left?

“Sousuke, are you–”

Sousuke put a finger up to Kou’s lips. “Enough worrying about me.”

“Dude, what–”

Sousuke shushed him. “I’ll get us a good bottle of sake, and we’ll talk over that. Tomorrow. Okay?”

“I–” Kou’s mind was reeling. “Yeah? I guess? But you’d better tell me what’s going on when we do.”

Sousuke took his hands off of Kou. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

Kou just stared for a moment. Sousuke almost looked like he was on the verge of breaking down.

“Sousuke, you’re scaring me a little,” he told him honestly.

He just sighed again. “I’m hungover, Minamoto-kun. Just leave me alone for now? I’ll text you tomorrow.”

No. This was seriously wrong.

“No.”

Sousuke scowled. “Seriously?”

“Yeah! Seriously! What, did you think I was gonna leave you alone when you look like you’re about to cry?”

“I am not– Ugh! Minamoto-kun, you’re so fucking annoying!”

“Me? Seriously?”

“Yes! You didn’t have to come last night, but you did and now you’re making it my problem. Get out.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me. You don’t look okay, Sousuke.”

Sousuke groaned with his head in his hands. “What happened to ‘you don’t have to tell me anything’?”

“I said you don’t have to tell me everything. Something happened.”

What wasn’t clicking? Sousuke was obviously upset. Why wouldn’t Kou want to know what was going on?

Sousuke just clicked his tongue and looked away, not arguing back. 

Okay. He’s admitting it. I think.

“Well, if you want to know so bad,” Sousuke started quietly, “you’re buying the alcohol. And we’re drinking tonight.”

“Tonight? Aren’t you still hungover?”

“It’s either that or I’m staying quiet forever. Your choice, Minamoto-kun!”

“Okay, okay”, he brought his hands up in a defensive motion. “How much money do you need?”

—

After Kou dazedly gave Sousuke enough money for a bottle of sake and left the dorm, he ended up going to the dining hall and getting a lunch for himself, as he’d originally intended. He could barely even taste it, though. His mind was racing far more than it had been that morning, somehow. His thoughts were just a mush of what the fuck just happened and is he going to be okay and what did he do after I left, and he nearly dropped his chopsticks a few times from how much he was fidgeting from stress.

Kou thought he was getting better, he really did. The past week had improved his mental state so much he thought he’d been on a road of recovery, but he was just shot back down. Initially, he had thought that the party was a mistake, but really, he wouldn’t have been better off if he hadn’t gone. He was really just a depressed mess and he was dragging his best friend down with him. Stupid idiot.

Every time he argued with Sousuke, he was slipping into this stupid sense of righteousness; he felt like he had to help Sousuke, had to be there for him, when really he couldn’t even be there for himself. It only took hindsight for him to realize how stupid he really was. But it was a little late to apologize to Sousuke again, wasn’t it?

Kou wasn’t hungry anymore.

—

On his way out of the dining hall, Kou ran into Yokoo and Satou, who very bluntly told him he “looked like a zombie”, and then dragged his feet back to his dorm room to nap the rest of the day away. He knew he’d only be thinking about Sousuke if he stayed awake, anyway.

He was woken up in the middle of his nap, though. Blinking, he picked up his phone and saw that Sousuke was calling him.

Shit.

“Hello?” he mumbled, answering the call.

“I got the sake; can you come to my dorm?”

Huh? “Already?”

“What do you mean, ‘already’? It’s eight.”

It’s what? “Shit, I’m sorry. I was taking a nap; I didn’t think I was asleep for that long.”

He could hear the annoyance in Sousuke’s voice. “Whatever. Just get over here, okay?”

“Okay. Sorry again.” Kou hung up.

Well, shit. Sousuke was definitely still angry with him.

Kou dragged himself out of bed, changed his shirt into something a little nicer, and made his way back over to Sousuke’s dorm, once again being let into the building by a stranger.

“Hey,” he greeted awkwardly as he walked into the room.

To his surprise, Sousuke gave him a small smile at his arrival. “Hey.”

Kou looked down; there was a bottle of sake, along with two shot glasses and two cushions on the floor in front of him.

“So I take it your roommate is gone this weekend?” Kou asked, taking his shoes off.

Sousuke nodded and sat down on one of the cushions. “Won’t be back til Monday.”

“Cool, cool.” God, this was awkward. 

“Well? You gonna sit down, or…?”

Kou quickly mumbled a small apology and sat down on the other cushion. Sousuke went ahead and poured them a shot each. Kou couldn't help but notice that his hands were shaking a little bit. 

“That’s a pretty big bottle,” Kou noted.

“Yup. And we’re drinking the whole thing tonight.”

“Wh– The whole thing? You can’t be serious. I can’t drink that much!”

Sousuke shrugged and took his first shot. “More for me.”

“Dude. That’s not healthy.” 

Sousuke shrugged. “You’re probably secretly excited for me to get drunk so you can take advantage of me or something, so I might as well.”

“You’ve got to stop saying shit like that, man.”

Sousuke laughed and poured himself another one, holding it up to Kou. Kou sat there confused for a second, before realizing what Sousuke wanted and clinking his shot glass against Sousuke’s.

“What’s the right way to take a shot, again?” Kou asked.

Sousuke held up one finger with the hand not holding his glass. “First, exhale.” He held up a second. “Then, take the alcohol right into the back of your throat; really tilt your head back. Then exhale right after you swallow.”

“Okay.” Kou looked down at the shot glass in his hand; it was kind of intimidating.

“You can do it; I believe in you, Minamoto-kun.”

Kou felt his face heat up at that. Well he had to do it now, didn’t he? So, he exhaled, took the shot, but ended up getting most of it in his mouth instead of his throat, and seriously felt the burn. He stuck out his tongue on instinct, trying not to cough.

Sousuke giggled. “You’re not gonna pull anyone if you’re out here making faces like that.”

Kou recovered and put his glass down. “I told you I’m not trying to right now.”

“Oh. Right.” Something in Sousuke’s eyes dulled as he took his second shot. 

That was weird.

“Are you still mad at me?” Kou asked without thinking.

Sousuke’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then after a second he laughed, covering his mouth with his hand. “I can’t stay mad at you, Minamoto-kun.”

Now it was Kou’s turn to be surprised. “Really? I was such an asshole–”

“And I wasn’t?”

Kou blinked. “Well–”

Sousuke started pouring himself a third shot. “I know you’re used to it by now, but I’m really rude to you sometimes.”

Sometimes was definitely an understatement, but Kou didn’t comment.

“I don’t even know why I do it,” Sousuke continued.

He took the shot and put the glass back down. “I’ve just always had a mouth on me. You should have heard some of the shit I used to say to my mom.”

Oh. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d talk tonight.

Kou shrugged. “It’s not like I hold it against you or anything. I’ve always known you don’t mean any of it.” He paused. “Well, most of it, anyway.”

“Still, it was stressing you out yesterday, right?”

Kou froze.

“I’m not stupid, Minamoto-kun. I can pick up on that kind of thing.”

Sousuke reached for the bottle again, but Kou put a hand over his.

“Dude. Slow down.”

Sousuke scowled and knocked Kou’s hand away, but poured a shot for Kou instead of himself. Kou sighed and took the shot, getting it down properly this time. It still tasted gross, though. How the hell did Sousuke do it?

He looked back at Sousuke, seeing that his face was pink now, and he seemed a bit spacey. I guess that’s what three shots in a row do to someone.

“You good?” he asked.

Sousuke just smiled deliriously and giggled a bit in response.

“I’m drunk,” he declared happily.

Seriously?

“Already?”

Sousuke giggled. “I’m a lightweight, you know.”

“How much did you drink last night, then?”

“Not that much. I drank more after you left, though.”

Kou sighed. “That’s why I was so worried about you, man. You were already fucked up.”

“I really wasn’t.”

“But–”

“I don’t think you know the difference between drunk and tipsy, Minamoto-kun. I had, like, one and a half highballs before you yelled at me.”

Yelled. Fuck.

“You couldn’t say my name, though. And you were falling over and shit."

“That’s normal for me.” Sousuke started pouring himself a fourth shot. “That’s just what physically happens when I drink, but I was still thinking clearly. It’s just my body that couldn’t really catch up.” He took the shot.

“And what about now?"

Sousuke clumsily put his glass down and laughed. “I barely even remember what we were just talking about.”

Kou was starting to feel weird about their difference in sobriety levels, so he started pouring himself another shot.

“What did you do after I left last night?”

Sousuke hummed and nearly knocked his glass over in an uncoordinated movement of his hand. “I hung out with Tsukasa-kun. Drank. Cried.”

“Cried?”

Sousuke shrugged. “I usually do at parties. I guess I just get sad when I’m drunk.”

Huh. Well Kou supposed it checked out, with what he heard about Sousuke’s birthday party. He really hoped Sousuke wouldn’t cry tonight, though.

Kou found the alcohol was starting to affect him after taking his third shot, because he found himself thoughtlessly asking, “Why do you hang out with Tsukasa so much, anyway?”

Sousuke smirked. “What, are you jealous?”

“Yes!” 

Oh shit. He did not want to say that out loud. He was more drunk than he thought. This is why everyone thought his feelings were so obvious. But Sousuke just huffed a small laugh and took a swig right from the bottle, pausing before speaking.

“I go to him when I’m sad over you.”

What? Huh? Sad over Kou?

Kou sat there, dazed. The alcohol was starting to slow his mental processing down. 

“What did I do?”

Sousuke sighed. “You just don’t get it.”

“Get what? You always say that, Sousuke. How am I supposed to get it if you don’t tell me?”

Sousuke stayed silent, taking another swig. 

“You’re gonna get alcohol poisoning, you know,” Kou told him, clumsily trying to take the bottle away from him.

Sousuke pulled it out of his reach. “I know my limits, unlike you. Stupid lame-ass earring.”

Kou tried extending his arm further to grasp at it again, but in his drunken state completely misplaced his weight and all but collapsed onto Sousuke’s side instead. 

“Ugh, get off of me, Minamoto! I almost dropped the bottle! And you’re heavy as fuck,” Sousuke whined.

“No honorific? Just Minamoto? I thought we were friends,” Kou complained, pulling himself up off of Sousuke. 

“You don’t deserve an honorific if you’re gonna drop an expensive bottle of sake.” Sousuke grumbled.

“I paid for it, asshole!”

Sousuke just moved his hand in a puppet mouth motion to mock him. 

“Hey, cut that out,” Kou shoved Sousuke’s shoulder.

Sousuke stuck out his tongue and took another sip right from the bottle.

“Why are you drinking so fast?” Kou asked, concerned.

Sousuke put the bottle down. “I’m trying to get drunk enough.”

Drunk… enough?

“Enough for what?” Kou tilted his head.

Sousuke paused for a bit, seemingly unsure what to do next. Then, wordlessly, he turned towards Kou, and suddenly his right hand was gripping Kou’s shoulder, his left hand was under Kou’s chin, and his lips were moving against Kou’s.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Sousuke was kissing him. Kou wanted to kiss back, but even if he were sober and not shocked on top of that, he wouldn’t have known how to, so he just let Sousuke take the reins. Sousuke was definitely experienced, but he was obviously too drunk to kiss properly. Kou didn’t care, though. This may as well be the best moment of his life.

The kiss didn’t end up being very long, with Sousuke pulling away after a few seconds. He surveyed Kou’s expression, but Kou must have looked as surprised as he felt, so Sousuke started trying to backtrack, taking his hands off of Kou’s body.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Minamoto-kun; I-I’m drunk, so I really don’t know why I did that. I mean, friends do it all the time when they drink, right? It doesn’t mean anyth–”

“Sousuke.”

Sousuke stopped talking at that, staring scared and wide-eyed at Kou.

Kou put his hands on Sousuke’s shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. “Can you do that again? Please? I’m not a good kisser, but–”

With the green light from Kou, Sousuke practically pounced on him, knocking him over and kissing deeper and more passionately than before. This time, Kou was able to find a groove and kissed back; it really wasn’t as complicated as he thought.

Wow, he thought hazily, I’m kissing my best friend.

After a little while, though, Sousuke started moving his hands down Kou’s body, and Kou was still sober enough to have a vague sense of he’s drunk, this is wrong.

“Woah, Sousuke,” he whispered when they took a quick break to breathe, “Maybe let’s not go that far tonight.”

Sousuke smirked. “How far do you think we’re going?”

“Well, your hand is over my dick, so um… maybe let’s just not touch that for now? We’re drunk. You especially.”

Sousuke pouted. “So you’re not gonna let me taste it?”

Fuck, that was hot. Kou had to resist.

“Before I get to tell you my feelings? Fuck no.”

Making out with Sousuke had felt so right that Kou had nearly forgotten that neither of them had actually confessed any feelings to each other yet. Though he supposed it was probably obvious that Kou was in love with the guy.

“Oh, so you have feelings for me?” Sousuke grinned, moving his hand away from Kou’s crotch as he’d asked.

“Yeah, man, I– Are we seriously gonna do this right now? While you’re on top of me?”

Sousuke giggled and sat up, pulling Kou’s arm to urge him to do the same.

Kou sighed, moving to a sitting position. Woah, his head was spinning. How many shots had he taken, again?

“So, what are these feelings you have, hm?” Sousuke was still grinning like he usually did when he fished for compliments, but Kou could tell he was also giddy from just having kissed Kou, which Kou was not quite ready to process yet– he’d leave it for when he was sober.

Kou sighed. “Okay, guess I’m doing this now. Um,” he made eye contact with Sousuke, “I’m in love with you. And I have been since, like, day one.” Now that he actually said it, it felt a bit empty, so he added, “Please go out with me?”

Sousuke looked like he was about to cry. “You made me wait that long?”

“Huh? Wait?”

“I feel the same way, idiot. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Leave it to Sousuke to be confessed to and find a way to be offended. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought it was obvious!”

“I-I thought you were just being a good friend! Plus there was all the shit that you were keeping from me–”

“What do you think that was about, Minamoto-kun? It was because of my feelings for you!”

Oh. Ohhhhhhh. 

“Shit, well, I’m sorry, Sousuke.”

“Ugh! Stop apologizing, Minamoto-kun. Just kiss me again.”

Kou really wanted to do just that, but he couldn’t stand being called by his surname anymore.

“Hey. We just made out. Call me something else.”

Sousuke’s face became even redder than it was before, and his voice was close to a whisper. “Kou.”

Kou beamed as his heart melted a little. “I’ve been waiting for that all year. Why didn’t you ever call me Kou before?”

Sousuke fidgeted. “It would sound kind of like we were dating. I didn’t want to get used to it.”

Oh.

“Sousuke, that’s so dumb.”

“Hey!”

Kou burst into drunken laughter.

Sousuke scowled. “That’s it. I’m breaking up with you.”

Kou kept laughing. “We’re not even dating!”

Sousuke clumsily punched Kou’s arm, but started laughing with him nonetheless.

“Whatever. Can I suck your dick now?”

Jesus Christ, Sousuke was gonna be the death of him. “No. You’re still drunk, you pervert.”

Sousuke pouted. “But I wanted to do it sober, too! Like, all the time! Come onnnn!”

Kou did not want to think about the implications of that just yet.

He sighed. “Can’t we both be sober for our first time? I know you can wait at least a day. I don’t even know if I can get it up right now ‘cause of the alcohol.”

Sousuke groaned and rolled his eyes. “Okay, but we’re doing it tomorrow. I genuinely can not wait any longer.”

Kou chuckled and pulled Sousuke onto his lap, hugging him from behind. Wow, I get to just do this now.

“Hey, you didn’t say that we’re dating yet.”

Sousuke tilted his head to look up at him. “Of course we’re dating, idiot.”

Kou grinned and kissed the top of Sousuke’s head. “Good. I love you, Sousuke.”

Sousuke covered his face with the back of his hand and replied quietly, “I love you too, Mi– Kou-kun.”

It looked like Sousuke wasn’t going to stop using that honorific for him. He didn’t mind, though; it felt weird when Sousuke had just said “Kou”.

“You’re more touchy than I thought you would be,” Sousuke noted.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been holding myself back for? I’ve always wanted to do stuff like this with you.” To emphasize his point, Kou put his chin on Sousuke’s shoulder, touching their faces together.

“It still doesn’t feel real,” he mumbled.

Sousuke snorted. “I know. I thought for sure you’d reject me.”

“No way in hell,” Kou replied, after taking too long to process what Sousuke had said. Wow, his brain was really slowing down.

“Hey, Sousuke?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m getting pretty tired. Like, I could fall asleep right now.”

“Seriously? You’re a sleepy drunk? Boring.” Sousuke complained.

“You’re not tired?”

Sousuke shrugged with the shoulder that Kou wasn’t leaning on. “I could sleep, I guess. Wanna take this to my bed?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Kou grumbled, but both of them started standing up slowly anyway.

“I’m glad I did this,” Sousuke thought out loud, taking the clothes from earlier off of his bed.

“What do you mean?” Kou’s head was spinning.

Sousuke hiccuped. “I wanted to get drunk enough to confess to you. I was tired of putting it off.”

Well, that explained why Sousuke had been so open about his feelings. What was it that one philosophy professor had said to Kou's class? "In vino veritas"?

“Oh. Well, it worked, I guess. Thanks.” Words were becoming harder to get out clearly. Kou really needed to get to bed. He tried to quickly think of everything he learned about alcohol from health classes in high school.

“Wait. Sousuke. You need water."

Sousuke sighed. “Stop being such a worrier.” He took a plastic water bottle out of his fridge and drank half of it anyway.

—

Surprisingly, Sousuke was the one to fall asleep first, but Kou found his consciousness slipping away from him not long after. Even if he was sober, he knew he still wouldn’t be able to grasp everything that had happened that night, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care. Tugging Sousuke closer to him, Kou let his mind go quiet for the night.

Notes:

i'm so so sorry for the wait!!! i had a very long flight (22hrs) and subsequent jetlag and i've also had a lot of school things to take care of so i've been so super busy ㅠㅠ but it's safe to say my summer burnout will not be an issue anymore!!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you have any questions about this au or me or anything, my tumblr is @ leeluckhee! i love you alllllll<3 pls share all your thoughts!<3<3

Chapter 12

Notes:

this one is long... thank god my class schedule is minimal this semester because i'm able to spend more time writing!! enjoy :)

Kou expected to have the weight of a person in bed with him when he woke up the next morning, but he was not expecting Mitsuba Sousuke to be directly on top of him, face down with only his feet hanging off of Kou’s legs. His arms were crossed over Kou’s chest with his head resting on top of them. It would have been cute, if it wasn’t limiting Kou’s ability to breathe properly.

Kou knew he needed to process whatever the fuck had happened last night, but his current priority was getting his friend– Friend? Was that right?– off of him. How the fuck did Sousuke even manage to get in that position?

Trying his best not to wake the sleeping man, Kou started moving his hands up to hold Sousuke’s torso and carefully tried to move him off of his chest and onto the empty space on the bed next to him. It kind of worked; Kou could breathe normally again, but Sousuke’s legs were still on top of his. Well, he wasn’t going anywhere, so he figured it should be okay.

With that out of the way, Kou started thinking back to the night before. He and Sousuke drank a bottle of sake together, and he took… three shots? Four? Sousuke had definitely had more than that and drank right from the bottle. Then… Shit. Sousuke kissed me. Oh my god. Okay, think. What happened after that? 

They’d kissed, then Sousuke wanted to– he wanted to suck me off. Oh my god. And Kou didn’t freak out? Alcohol was a magical thing. Okay, okay. After that, we–

Kou felt movement next to him and looked to his side, making eye contact with Sousuke, who was already awake.

“You love me,” Kou whispered.

Sousuke blinked, disoriented. “Hm?”

Then realization seemed to strike him as he sat straight up, wide-eyed, then immediately hissed and put a hand on his forehead. Right, he had to be hungover after all that sake.

“Shit, sorry.” Kou sat up, and started moving his hand towards Sousuke’s head, then put it back in his lap. Wouldn’t it be awkward to touch Sousuke now? How the hell was he so confident last night? “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Sousuke just kept staring at him with a shocked expression.

“You– I–” he stuttered.

Kou chuckled. “You remember?”

“Of course I–” Sousuke turned red as his memories seemingly rushed back to him. “Oh my god. We’re–”

Kou smiled. “Yeah.”

“Holy shit,” Sousuke whispered, before his expression turned sour. “You didn’t let me hit.”

That’s what he decided to focus on? Seriously?

“You really would have been okay with doing it drunk?” 

Sousuke shrugged. “I wouldn’t have regretted it.”

Kou put a hand over his forehead; he had a bit of a headache too now. “Well, I guess if you really want to, we can do it toda–”

At that, Sousuke surged forward and kissed him. 

“Yes please,” he replied, pulling back with a smile. 

Kou couldn’t hold back his grin. “Didn’t that feel better sober?”

Sousuke put a finger on his chin and hummed dramatically. “I dunno. Let’s brush our teeth first and try again.” 

—

Luckily, Sousuke had a spare toothbrush, so the two of them were able to wash up in the third floor’s communal bathroom before returning to Sousuke’s room and being unable to keep their hands and mouths off each other.

Making out with Sousuke was great, perfect even, but Kou kept remembering loose ends of their conversations from the previous night, and he couldn’t fully get into it until he had answers.

Sousuke seemed to notice, because he spoke up after a few minutes, “Something wrong?”

“Uh,” How should he put this? “I feel like we didn’t clear everything up last night.”

Sousuke’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Like, when you said you go to Tsukasa when you’re sad about me. I don’t really get it.”

Sousuke let out a heavy sigh, but complied nonetheless. “I guess I promised to talk.”

Kou nodded patiently.

“It’s really nothing huge. I’d just get sad because you didn’t like me back–”

“That’s not true.”

“Well obviously I know that now, idiot, but I really thought that you didn’t, so I’d get lonely. Like, I wanted to hang out with you, but it would just hurt too much sometimes, and I didn’t have anyone else.”

Kou tilted his head. “Yokoo? Satou?”

Sousuke glared. “They’re your friends. I don’t have anything in common with them.”

Kou snorted. “As if you have anything in common with me.”

“You’re different, Kou-kun. Anyway, Tsukasa-kun was kind of the only other person who really made me feel welcome; I dunno. He’s shady, sure, but he’s nice to me. He always let me in when I felt extra down.”

“So you don’t actually like him?”

Sousuke shrugged. “In theory, no. But like I said, he keeps me company. It’s hard for me to really dislike him.”

“He kept you company.”

Sousuke looked unimpressed. “Huh?”

“You have no reason to hang out with him anymore, right?”

“Well, he’s still my friend, Kou-ku–” He huffed out a laugh. “You’re so fucking jealous, oh my god!”

Kou looked away in embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Sousuke took Kou’s face in both of his hands, bringing Kou’s gaze back to him. “I won’t hang out with him that much, okay?” He raised his eyebrows in provocation, “And we’re gonna be super busy together, anyway, so I won’t have time.”

Kou felt his face heat up. “We’ve got finals, though.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes. “We can find time. It really sounds like you don’t want to.”

No. Kou could not have him thinking that. “Of course I want to!”

“So can we do it right now? Or do you want to hear more of my backstory?”

Woah, this was moving really fast. Kou wasn’t about to complain, but he was still worried about Sousuke’s hangover.

“I mean, I’m down, but aren’t you still hungover? I don’t want to, like, make it worse for you.”

The other man very clearly did not care, as he moved his hands from Kou’s face to the bottom of Kou’s shirt, trying to yank it off of him. “Lucky for me, dick is the best hangover cure.”

Kou’s face heated up even more as he took his shirt off the rest of the way. “I don’t think that’s true, Sousuke.”

Sousuke hummed. “Don’t care. I need it, Kou-kun.” He leaned in and looked at Kou with nothing but desire in his eyes. His voice shook. “I need it bad.”

Fuck. Well, Kou wasn’t going to say no to that. In all honesty, he was a complete virgin. He’d never dated, held hands, or kissed, let alone have anyone touch his dick. He knew Sousuke wouldn’t care, but he still wanted to impress the guy a little bit by acting cool.

“Alright, how do you want me?” he asked, attempting to sound smooth. 

“Pants and briefs off. Lie down on the bed. I’ll take care of the rest.”

So, shakily but resolute, Kou did as he was instructed. Sousuke, who noticeably hadn’t removed a single garment from what he was wearing, climbed on top of him and started kissing him for the nth time that morning. 

The kiss wasn’t as intense and impatient as any of the previous ones, but slow and lustful in a way that Kou had never experienced before. Sousuke’s tongue was sliding over Kou’s almost teasingly as his hands started exploring Kou’s chest; Kou was in heaven. Just as he began to get used to it, though, Sousuke pulled away, leaving a bridge of saliva between their mouths, which was insanely hot and was certainly getting Kou in the mood, but he didn’t want to stop there. He didn’t protest, though; Sousuke definitely knew what he was doing.

Sousuke brought his mouth to Kou’s neck next, and it made him weak. Kou didn’t know that something like that could ever feel so good; he was letting out small mewls and whimpers that he barely even noticed were coming from him. And when Sousuke moved to the space behind his ear, Kou may as well have been on cloud nine. All the while, Sousuke’s hands were still roaming around Kou’s upper body, landing on his biceps. Really, Kou didn’t think his body was that impressive, but he did work out his arms more than anything else, so it felt nice to have Sousuke give them some appreciation.

As his assault on Kou’s neck continued, this time around the other ear, Sousuke’s curious hands migrated lower, brushing over Kou’s lower abdomen. 

“Fuck, Sousuke–” Kou rasped.

Sousuke brought his head up and looked Kou in the eye, and god, his mouth was a mess. He looked so fucking good like this.

“Ready?” Sousuke whispered.

Kou nodded, and Sousuke crawled back down the bed, stopping when his head was above Kou’s cock.

“Guys just do it better,” he told Kou, audibly out of breath. “You’ll see. It’s gonna be nothing like any girl you’ve had before.”

“Not like I would know,” Kou replied honestly.

Sousuke’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? Kou, you’re a virgin? Like, total virgin?”

Kou nodded, suddenly embarrassed.

“Well,” Sousuke slipped back into his sultry voice, “I’m gonna make this so good no one else will ever compare. You’ll always think of me.”

Huh? “Why would I let anyone else touch my dick?”

Sousuke’s eyes widened, and he looked like he was near tears for a second before he tried returning to his confident persona. “Good answer.”

And with that, Kou was unable to think about anything other than the physical sensations on his body, because Sousuke was licking a stripe up his cock and slipping the head into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Kou moaned, hand rushing to grip Sousuke’s hair. 

Sousuke went deeper, sucking intensely and bobbing his head up and down. He seemed so unaffected and smooth that Kou briefly wondered how many other people he’d done this with.

When Sousuke started swirling his tongue around the head, it took Kou insane amounts of resistance not to cum right then and there. He gripped Sousuke’s hair tighter, pulling it by accident, but the apology for it died on his tongue as Sousuke moaned around his cock.

Did he… like that?

Sousuke moved back down Kou’s cock, almost deepthroating it this time. Kou gave an experimental tug on Sousuke’s hair, pulling harder than before. This elicited a more intense moan from Sousuke as he went even deeper. 

Fuck. He’s actually into that.

The proof of Sousuke’s excitement was only making everything more pleasurable; Kou didn’t think he would last much longer.

“S-Sousuke,” he rasped, “I’m close.”

Sousuke hummed in affirmation, going all the way to the base and sucking harder, and fuck, it was too much. Kou came with a groan, pulling Sousuke’s hair even harder than he had previously. Sousuke just moaned again and swallowed everything, only moving off of Kou after the grip on his hair loosened.

Kou could barely think. He just lay motionless on Sousuke’s bed, trying to catch his breath.

“So,” Sousuke lied down next to him, “Pretty good, right?”

Kou turned to face him. “‘Pretty good’ doesn’t even– That was amazing, Sousuke.”

Sousuke’s smile was almost bashful. “Thanks. For the compliment and the meal.”

“Well, it couldn’t have been that good for you, right?”

Sousuke looked offended. “The fuck do you mean? That was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m telling you, I’ve been waiting forever for this.”

Kou’s heart swelled. How the hell did he get so lucky?

“I hope I didn’t disappoint, then.”

Sousuke moved back on top of Kou and kissed him sweetly. “You’re perfect.”

Kou smiled like it was the easiest thing in the world. For months, he had felt so tired and empty that even smiling took too much effort. Right now, though, it was all he could do. Sousuke obviously loved him enough to crave his company, his body, his pleasure– it was unreal. Kou wanted to hear him say it again. Sober.

“You still haven’t told me while sober.”

“Told you what?”

For a second, Kou was worried that Sousuke hadn’t meant it when he had said it earlier, but he needed to know either way, so he continued.

“That you love me.”

Sousuke’s breath caught and he stared at Kou for a second. Was he… nervous?

“I love you, Kou-kun,” he whispered.

Kou beamed and kissed him again. “Good. I love you, too. So much.”

Sousuke looked like he was getting overwhelmed. “Okay, okay. Enough of that.”

Right. Sousuke was weird about affection sometimes. He must have just been more open to it while drunk. 

Kou snorted. “Fine. Now I need to return the favour, though.”

“Hm?”

Kou gestured to Sousuke’s erection, clearly visible through his pants. “It’s my turn.”

Sousuke leered. “Sorry, Kou-kun, but I don’t want to come today unless you’re inside of me.”

Jesus Christ.

He put his hand on Kou’s cheek. Kou leaned into the touch.

“You can blow me another day, okay? But I need you in me so fucking bad, Kou-kun. You have no idea.”

Kou had forgotten how to breathe. “You can’t just say that kind of thing, Sousuke.”

“No? You’re hard again, though.” Sousuke grinned.

“Exactly,” Kou responded. “I don’t think you realize what you do to me. You’re so fucking beautiful.” He leaned in for another kiss. Sousuke was fucking addicting.

Sousuke moaned softly into the kiss, then pulled away. “In that case,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “let’s do it.”

—

The entire time Sousuke was fetching lube and condoms and undressing, Kou tried his hardest to calm his nerves. Sousuke wanted him inside. That was fucking terrifying. Kou wasn’t huge, but still, that had to hurt, right? Sousuke took no notice of Kou's crisis, and came back to the bed naked and holding what they needed. 

Before anything, though, Kou made sure to admire the view in front of him. Sousuke really was truly beautiful in every sense of the word. Kou supposed Sousuke’s body wasn’t what the average person fantasized about, but it was everything to him.

Sousuke smirked. “Like what you see?”

Kou spoke without hesitation. “Yes. You’re gorgeous.”

Blushing, Sousuke chuckled and sat down on the bed, leaning his back against a pile of pillows that he set up.

“I know you haven’t done it before, but you at least know how prep works, right?”

Kou gulped. “Uh, vaguely. I guess. But I don’t really–”

“Want me to show you?”

Face heating up, Kou nodded. So, Sousuke took the bottle of lube he was holding and poured it over two of his fingers. 

“You’re gonna want to pour a lot; too much is better than too little,” Sousuke explained, bringing his fingers in front of his hole.

“And you need to start with one. Usually, anyway.” Sousuke slid one finger in and let out a tiny moan. “Slide it in and out like this; I’ll tell you when to add another one.” His voice was trembling.

As Sousuke slipped in a second finger, Kou couldn’t take his eyes away from his boyfriend. Boyfriend? They could clear that up later. 

Sousuke noticed Kou’s eyes on him and smiled. “Do you want to try?”

Speechless, Kou nodded. Sousuke took his fingers out and passed the lube to Kou, who poured a generous amount over his own fingers.

“Okay,” Kou breathed, “Ready?”

Sousuke nodded with an encouraging smile. Kou nodded back, mostly to steady himself, and slowly slid in both fingers. He felt Sousuke clench around him as he started moving his fingers back and forth. It was so foreign, but so mesmerizing.

“You can move faster, you know. I’m not gonna break.”

“R-Right. Okay.”

“And try doing a scissor motion; it gets the job done and it feels fucking great.”

So, trying to speed up without hurting Sousuke, Kou started moving his fingers in the scissor motion that Sousuke had asked for while still moving his whole hand back and forth. Sousuke moaned again in response. 

“Yeah, good. Now try looking for my–” 

Sousuke cut himself off with a loud moan as Kou’s fingers touched something rubbery further in.

“I guess you found it,” Sousuke whispered. “Good job.”

It was dumb, but the small praises from Sousuke were getting to Kou; he really wanted Sousuke to keep saying that he was doing well.

“Okay, I think I’m ready,” Sousuke declared after Kou worked him open a bit more, hitting his prostate every once in a while.

“You think you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” he rephrased.

Kou carefully pulled his fingers out, making Sousuke moan again. “You sure?”

Sousuke sat up and looked him dead in the eyes. “Kou. I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Kou whispered, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Sousuke handed a condom to Kou, who started unwrapping it with shaky hands and slipping it onto his dick. 

Sousuke seemed to pick up on his hesitation. “You don’t need to be scared, you know. I’ve had a bunch of experience in there; I can handle you.”

Kou grimaced. “I don’t really want to hear about other guys you’ve fucked right now.”

Sousuke looked confused for a second, then laughed.

The fuck? Did I say something stupid?

“Kou, I’m a virgin.”

Wait, what? What? 

“Huh!?”

“Open my top drawer,” Sousuke instructed, pointing to the dresser closest to his bed. 

Kou did as he was told, and found that Sousuke’s drawer was full of all sorts of plugs, dildos, and vibrators, and other sex toys Kou had never seen before.

“Oh,” was all that he could say.

Sousuke chuckled. “Trust me, I won’t break. You can have your way with me.”

Kou couldn’t stop looking at the drawer’s contents. A lot of these things were significantly bigger than Kou. How could he live up to that?

“Sousuke, these are big. I don’t know if I can–”

“Oh, no. Fuck no. You do not get to tell me that. Every time I use those, I imagine it’s you. And the whole time it was never good enough because I knew they couldn’t possibly compare to the real thing. So don’t you dare say shit like that.”

Kou didn’t know what to say. “Sousuke-”

“Just get over here, okay? Don’t worry and just enjoy yourself. It's gonna be fun for me no matter what. And besides,” he leered, “some of them are longer, but you’re wider.”

Kou felt his face redden again, and he made his way back over to the bed. Sousuke had already moved into position, ready for missionary.

“Doesn’t this position hurt more for anal?”

“Not for me.” Sousuke grinned. “Come on.”

Sousuke’s hole really did not look big enough to take him, but Kou trusted him, so he lined up his head with Sousuke’s entrance. Sousuke tightened a bit in anticipation.

“Okay. Ready?”

Sousuke sounded out of breath. “Yeah, yeah, just slide it in. Please.”

With that, Kou started entering Sousuke agonizingly slowly. 

Sousuke groaned. “Yeah, that’s it. Good boy.”

Kou’s dick twitched at that. Sousuke smirked. 

“I knew it. You like that, don’t you? Got a praise kink?”

Kou kept pushing in. “Well, you like getting your hair pulled. Knew you were a masochist.”

Sousuke let out a breathy laugh. “Only for you, babe.”

Kou’s dick twitched again. Babe. How was he going to survive this? 

Kou wanted to push in his entire member in one move, but the fear of hurting Sousuke even a little bit kept him moving slowly. Sousuke was patient, letting out mewls of pleasure and encouragement the whole time until Kou finally bottomed out with a deep groan. 

“Hold on. Don’t move yet.” Sousuke instructed, focusing on his breathing.

Kou nodded, and stayed still, trying to calm himself down as well.

“Okay,” Sousuke whispered after a few seconds. “Go for it.”

So, Kou started moving, thrusting as slowly and gently as he could, trying not to crush Sousuke’s body with his weight. The only thought going through his head was this needs to feel good for him. Kou’s own pleasure could wait.

Sousuke was moaning with every thrust, with the occasional “yes” or swear, so Kou kept up his pace and position. Keeping his upper body so high above his partner’s was starting to make him sore, but Sousuke’s comfort came first. Kou would never forgive himself if something bad happened.

Eventually, though, Sousuke got tired of it. “Kou, enough. Stop.”

Shit. “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry–”

“No. Look at your hands. You’re gripping the sheets way too tight; you need to relax. And you can move faster. And get closer to me.”

“But–”

“You’re not going to crush me. I need you to feel good, too.”

Kou didn’t know what to say.

Sousuke spoke up again. “Okay, I have an idea. Pull out, we’re changing positions.”

So Kou did, and Sousuke pushed him up into a sitting position.

“Okay, stay like this. Let me just–” Sousuke climbed into his lap, putting his legs on either side of Kou’s waist and wrapping them around him. “Can you help me get it back in? Just position it; I’ll do the rest.”

“U-Uh, yeah, okay.”

Sousuke got up enough for Kou to position himself under him, and he lined himself up per Sousuke’s request.

“Okay,” Kou said shakily, “this should be okay.”

“Alright,” Sousuke replied softly, and started moving down, causing both men to gasp, until Kou was in as deep as he could go.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Sousuke groaned. “You feel okay?”

“Yeah,” Kou breathed, nodding for emphasis and putting his hands on Sousuke’s hips to keep him steady. “You’re so tight.”

Sousuke smiled, his face flushed and sweaty. He was breathtaking. 

“I’m gonna start moving, okay?”

Kou gave him a nod of approval, and Sousuke started moving up and grinding back down, sending shocks of pleasure through Kou’s entire body. Fuck, how was he so good at this?

Sousuke wrapped his arms around Kou’s neck, smiling down at him. 

“Better, right?”

Kou moved one of his hands to Sousuke’s chin to kiss him. “Yeah. You’re so hot, Sousuke.”

Sousuke smiled and grinded down again, Kou thrusting up to meet him this time, directly hitting his prostate. The high-pitched moan that Sousuke let out only encouraged him to do it again. They were starting to find their rhythm now, and Kou was in ecstasy; he’d never felt so good in his fucking life, and it looked like Sousuke was enjoying himself too.

“Kou,” Sousuke panted after a while, “I’m starting to get tired. Can you do the moving for a bit?”

“‘Course,” Kou replied breathlessly. 

Kou pulled Sousuke closer to him and Sousuke wrapped his arms tighter around Kou’s neck. He thrusted once to test the waters, and fuck, he was somehow hitting even deeper than before. Sousuke whined loudly and bit Kou’s neck to muffle himself. It may have hurt, but Kou didn’t notice; everything else just felt too good.

He kept thrusting, moving faster now, taking Sousuke’s “Yes, that’s it–” as a sign to keep going, and aimed right for Sousuke’s prostate. 

“Fuck, I’m close. Kou–”

“Me too,” Kou rasped.

“Touch me,” Sousuke pleaded. “Touch me and come inside. Please.”

Kou took Sousuke in his hand, stroking him quickly but not quite at the pace of his thrusts. It felt strange to jerk another guy off, but it wasn’t too difficult.

“Yes, god, I’m–”

Sousuke came with a cry, and Kou climaxed not too long after, kissing Sousuke as he did. The two of them sat dazed for a bit, slowly coming down from their high. Sousuke was the first to say something.

“Kou,” his voice was hoarse, “you need to pull out.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” 

“Careful, though. Here, let me–”

Sousuke slowly lifted himself off of Kou’s softening cock, keeping his shaky hands on Kou’s shoulders, and Kou held his waist for him to stay balanced. Sousuke moaned from overstimulation.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kou whispered, as Sousuke fully pulled himself off of him with a whine.

With that out of the way, Sousuke collapsed on top of Kou, pushing them both to lie down fully on the bed.

“Fuck,” was all Kou could say. 

Sousuke giggled and wiped some of the sweat off of his forehead. “We need to take a shower.”

Kou nodded. The afterglow really didn’t last long for him; he was starting to feel gross. He had Sousuke’s cum on his stomach, and– shit, he was still wearing the condom too.

Sousuke groaned. “I wish our dorms had their own bathrooms; then we could shower together.”

Kou chuckled. “We’ll be able to when you visit me at home.”

Sousuke smiled. “Sounds good.”

—

After the two men showered in the communal bathroom and returned to Sousuke’s dorm room, they began cleaning up the sake bottle and glasses from the night before and putting Sousuke’s pillows back in place.

“Should we change the sheets or something?” Kou asked.

“Nah. We might go for a second round.”

Kou blushed at that. “You’re really horny, aren’t you.”

Sousuke laughed. “Yup. Hope you can keep up, Kou-kun.”

“Okay, wait. Am I ‘Kou-kun’ or just ‘Kou’? You’ve been calling me both all day.”

“I don’t know,” Sousuke replied honestly, taking a seat on his bed. “The honorific feels more natural to say, but it makes it sound more like you're my friend instead of my boyfriend. It’s weird to say it during sex, too.”

Holy shit. He said it.

“So I am your boyfriend.”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “Duh? What else would you be?”

Kou shrugged. “I dunno. I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“You’re so dumb,” Sousuke laughed affectionately, pulling Kou onto the bed with him.

Kou just grinned and kissed him. “Only for you, babe.”

Sousuke’s face flushed at the memory of the pet name he had called Kou earlier. “That was in the heat of the moment. Don’t call me that.”

“Oh, thank god.” Kou said, relieved. “That felt so awkward to say.”

Sousuke snorted. “What would you prefer I call you, then? Kou? Kou-kun? Kou-chan?”

“Definitely not that last one.”

“Lame-ass earring boy?”

“Hey.”

“Soccer idiot?”

“Your insults suck, dude.”

Sousuke stuck out his tongue. 

“I don’t know, though. I feel like ‘Kou-kun’ works. I don’t think it needs to ‘sound’ like we’re dating; we are dating.”

Sousuke smiled. “Okay, then. Kou-kun.”

Kou’s heart swelled. He hadn’t realized how much he needed Sousuke to call him by his given name until now; he may get addicted.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” Kou started, drawing a wary expression from Sousuke, and pointed at his boyfriend, “you’re for real a masochist.”

Sousuke’s face went bright red.

“Aha! It’s true! You’re into that!”

“Duh,” Sousuke replied, trying to appear nonchalant. “Getting my hair pulled and shit is hot.”

“So you’ve done that kind of thing before?”

“Well,” Sousuke paused. “A couple times. I’m not, like, a slut or anything. I started thinking of you every time, and it really killed the mood, so I stopped fooling around."

Oh. Another thing was added to the list of things for Kou to process on a later date.

“That’s how you learned to suck dick like that?”

Sousuke smiled, bashful yet confident. “Nah. Turns out I just have a talent for giving head.”

“Lucky me."

Sousuke laughed and moved to sit on his lap, Kou instinctively draping his arms over his boyfriend’s shoulders. “I could teach you, if you want.”

Kou’s eyes widened. “Now?”

“No, you idiot. Next time. I’m too tired."

Thank god. Kou’s sex drive was on the higher side, but Sousuke was a whole different beast. Kou was a little worried he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

“You did a good job, by the way,” Sousuke noted absentmindedly, tracing circles on one of Kou’s hands. “And I’m not just saying that because you’re into it.”

“Hey–”

“Seriously, though. That was so good; I knew dildos were nothing like the real thing.”

“I’m glad,” Kou replied. “It was really good for me, too. I’m glad you were my first time.”

Sousuke didn’t respond. Did I say something wrong?

“I… was your first time too, right? You didn’t lie about being a virgin?”

“Obviously I didn’t lie. And…” Sousuke trailed off.

“Sousuke? You good?”

Sousuke sighed. “I want you to be my last time, too.”

Oh. Oh. Wow. Sousuke really did return his feelings.

“Me too.”

Sousuke’s eyes widened and he whipped around to face Kou fully.

“You’re serious?”

Kou nodded. “Yeah. I’m in love with you, Sousuke. I want to be with you forever.”

Sousuke’s eyes started watering. 

“You mean it? Actually?”

“Yes. Actually.” Kou kissed Sousuke’s forehead. “I’d marry you if I could,” he said honestly.

A tear fell down Sousuke’s cheek. “Oh my god.”

Kou wiped it away wordlessly.

“I love you so much,” Sousuke whispered. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Of course not.” Kou pulled him into a hug. “I can’t believe it took this long. You really had all these feelings for me the whole time and I had no idea?”

“I’m just cool, I guess,” Sousuke joked. “Oh my god, Daikon-senpai is gonna go crazy when I tell her.”

Pause.

Kou pushed Sousuke out of the hug to look at him. “Explain.”

Sousuke chuckled nervously. “I kind of told her everything about my feelings for you?”

What? What??

“And she didn’t–"

Well, to be fair, he never explicitly told Nene about his feelings, but she obviously picked up on it right? And left the two of them to figure everything out on their own?

“What, did you tell her, too?”

“Well, no, but… I think she knew? A lot of people figured it out, but I never told anyone.”

“So it was obvious to everyone else?”

Kou smiled playfully. “You might just be stupid, Sousuke.”

“Hey. Don’t turn this on me.”

Kou laughed. “Isn’t it weird, though? That we’re willing to get married? We haven’t even known each other a whole year.”

Sousuke shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be. If anything, we’re lucky. Most people can't find that kind of connection.”

“Hm. Guess you’re right.”

They fell into a comfortable silence for a short while before Kou spoke up again with another question.

“Are you gonna tell people?”

“Hm?”

“Like, about us.”

“Um, yeah. I’m dating the love of my life. And all these guys who try to flirt with me need to know that I’m taken now.”

“What, are you gonna make an Instagram story or something?”

“Well, not with your face, probably. I need people to think that I have standards.”

“Hey!”

Sousuke giggled. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You’re hot. To me.”

“That’s not the compliment you think it is.” Kou still smiled. He thinks I’m hot. Score!

Wait. "There are guys flirting with you?"

Sousuke rolled his eyes. "It's so annoying."

"But I see you talking to guys all the time. You don't start it?"

Sousuke looked confused. "Huh? Kou, they're talking to me. I don't want them."

Oh.

"Good." Kou declared. 

Sousuke snorted. “What about you, though? Do you want to tell people?”

“I want the whole world to know,” Kou replied without hesitation. “I’m dating Mitsuba Sousuke.”

“Stop. I’ll cry again; leave me alone.”

Kou hummed. “Nope. I get to be clingy now.”

Sousuke pouted. Kou kissed the pout off of him. 

—

“So,” Nene started as soon as Kou sat down at their café table, “Mitsuba-kun told me what happened.”

Kou felt his face heat up. “How much did he tell you?”

Nene seemed to realize what he meant and blushed a bit. “Not– Not everything. But he finally confessed to you! Congratulations!”

“So you knew.”

She laughed nervously. “I didn’t want to get in the middle of anything. I used to try playing cupid in high school and it never went well. But that’s not important! You’re together! Now we can talk romance!”

Kou smiled shyly and rubbed his neck. “There’s not that much to talk about, really. I just love him. And he loves me. It feels weird to actually call him my boyfriend, but… it really happened.”

Nene squealed and clapped her hands. “I’m so happy for you, Kou-kun! Mitsuba-kun’s Insta story for you guys was super cute, too.”

“Huh?”

Nene’s eyes widened in surprise. “You didn’t know?”

Kou shook his head, so Nene opened up her phone and showed it to him. 

Sousuke had posted a zoomed in mirror selfie that Kou vaguely remembered him taking that morning, only showing the bottom of their faces and Kou’s arm wrapped around Sousuke’s shoulder. Sousuke had put a yellow heart emoji next to them.

Kou must have been smiling like an idiot, because Nene giggled. “It’s so nice to see you finally get together. You look so happy, Kou-kun.”

“Yeah?”

Nene nodded. “You really seemed down for a while, so…”

Oh. Right. He never told her. “Yeah, I’m kind of depressed.”

Nene’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? It’s that bad?”

Kou scratched at his neck. “Yeah. I mean, the honeymoon phase or whatever has been pretty great, but I still feel kind of… I dunno. I still don’t have the motivation to do anything, like academically or socially. I’m still forgetting things and zoning out a lot. Being with Sousuke is helping, but I’m still not okay yet.”

Nene nodded in understanding. Shit, he was talking at her. 

“Sorry! That was a lot. Please don’t worry, senpai.”

“Kou-kun,” Nene frowned, “it’s normal to feel emotions and talk about them. You’re not burdening anyone or whatever you think. You can tell me about these things. Any time.”

“You’re too kind, senpai. Seriously, though, I’ll be fine. When finals are out of the way, I’ll have more time to focus on my health.”

Nene nodded. “Have you decided whether or not you’re dropping out?”

“Um, yeah,” he told her awkwardly. “I am. Sorry.”

Nene smiled sadly. “No need to apologize, Kou-kun. I get it; this is best for you. I’ll miss you.”

Kou smiled back. “I’ll miss you too, senpai. You can call me anytime, okay?”

Nene nodded. “Good luck with everything, Kou-kun.”

—

Kou walked out of the café smiling. His conversation with Nene had given him a better perspective; this whole time, Kou had viewed dropping out of college as an escape, but it didn’t have to be that way. It was also a start to a new chapter– a better way of living for him. He’d be able to spend more time with his family, and on top of that, he had a boyfriend– the most beautiful person in the world– who could visit him regularly. Things were finally looking up for him, and even though he didn’t feel okay yet, he would eventually. And that was good enough for him.

Notes:

yes it's true! it only took 3 days for me to write this massive chapter! i've also been waiting to write smut since this fic's conception so i was very eager to get this chapter out...
as usual, let me know alll your thoughts!!<3<3 and thank you again for the continued support on this fic, it means a lot!!!
it may seem like the story is over but there's more, i promise! stay tuned!!
if you have any questions about anything, my tumblr is leeluckhee :) thanks for reading!!! ily all<3

Notes:

i've been wanting to write a tbhk college au forever, so it's nice to finally have something posted :") i have big plans for this story but it's gonna be a bit of a slow burn so stick around if you're interested! please let me know all your thoughts/feedback!! <3<3