Chapter Text
Monday mornings were something Kou always looked forward to. His earliest Monday class was at noon, and it turns out the same was true for Nene, so the two of them met over coffee every week.
After hopping out of bed and taking a quick shower, Kou began his walk to the café on campus, trying to ignore the fact that he had hardly slept.
When he got there, Nene was already sitting at a table with a notebook out. She didn’t notice Kou until he sat down in the chair across from her, drawing her attention.
“Ah, Kou-kun! Sorry I didn’t see you!”, she apologized.
Kou chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, senpai. Do you have an exam today or something?” he asked, putting his bag down.
Nene sighed and put her hands over her face in frustration. “Yeah, Korean.”
Kou winced. He had only ever studied English as another language, but he heard Korean was almost just as hard. Just looking at Nene’s notebook was enough to make his head spin.
Nene suddenly shut her notebook and snapped her head up. “That’s not important right now though! Did you call Mitsuba-kun?”
Fuck, he should have known Nene would ask him that. His mind scrambled for a response that didn’t make him seem like an asshole, but before he had to answer Nene’s question, their table’s waiter arrived, asking the two for their orders.
As they told their waiter their drink choices, Kou took the extra minute to think of a good response, but he gave up by the time they were alone again. There was no point in lying.
Kou sighed. “I didn’t call Sousuke.”
Nene’s eyes blew wide open. “What? Why not? Were things at home that serious?”
Kou waved his hands in front of his face. “No, no! I just… got distracted. But I ran into him last night and we talked, so don’t worry about that.”
Nene furrowed her brows. “Did it go okay? Did you tell him what happened?”
That was weird. Why did she sound so concerned?
“Um, yeah? Pretty much. Did something happen at the party? You seem pretty worried.”
His senpai sighed. “Mitsuba-kun was really upset that you weren’t there. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but he was crying by the end of the party.”
What??
“He… was?”
Kou recalled Sousuke telling him he didn’t remember the latter part of the party. Just how much did that guy drink?
“Yeah, he was… really drunk”, Nene laughed a bit. “He kept babbling about how you hated him or something.”
“What? I’d never–”
“I know, I know. I think Mitsuba-kun knows too; he was just drunk. He seemed more upset about the possibility of you hating him than the possibility of you being hurt or something.”
Kou wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“I’m glad you cleared things up last night, though!”
Before Kou could respond, the waiter came back and put their drinks on the table. Kou picked his latte up immediately; he desperately needed caffeine. Nene did the same with her tea.
“He told me he had a good time”, Kou said, after taking a long sip. “Do you think he really did?”
“I mean…” Nene put her cup down, “He was smiling and laughing and everything, but I could tell he wasn’t all there. He was probably just being courteous.”
“Oh.” was all Kou could say for a second. He didn’t think he’d hurt Sousuke that badly just by not being there, and a small, fucked up part of him was glad to hear that Sousuke valued his presence enough to be so upset over it. That thought made him feel even guiltier. Kou put a hand over his face.
“God, I feel terrible.”
“Oh, Kou-kun, it’s not your fault! You had a reason not to be ther–”
“No, Nene-senpai, I–” Kou took a breath. “I forgot.”
Nene blinked. “Huh?”
“I went home because I forgot about Sousuke’s birthday.” Kou let out a mirthless laugh. “I’ve been forgetting everything these days; it’s kind of scary.”
“Oh, Kou-kun…” Nene started.
“Actually, I…” Kou scratched his neck, “I think I might drop out of college.”
Nene nearly dropped her cup. “What?”
“Yeah, I’ve been doing something thinking and…”
Then maybe… Do you think you might just not be cut out for college, then?
Kou took another sip of his coffee to steady himself, “I just don’t think I’m cut out for it, you know?”
“Kou-kun, where is this coming from? Is there something going on? If there is, you can tell me anyth–”
“I’m okay, Nene-senpai. I just… I dunno. There’s not really anything going on, but I just feel kinda… off.” He smiled in an attempt to not to worry his senpai too much. “It’s kinda hard to explain.”
Nene still looked panicked.
“Senpai, I promise nothing happened. It’s been at the back of my mind for a while, and I just think it would be best for me. I’ve been forgetting everything and I’m just so out of it, and I think if I wasn’t a student anymore, I wouldn’t be… like that, you know?”
Nene sipped her tea and nodded slowly. “Yeah… I think I get it. Well, thank you for telling me, Kou-kun! I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way.”
That uncomfortable feeling was back again. Kou understood why everyone was saying this kind of stuff to him these days, but he didn’t need sympathy just for living his life.
He gave Nene an awkward chuckle. “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine, promise.”
Change the subject. Now.
“How was your weekend though, senpai?”
Nene seemed to notice the very purposeful change of conversation, but didn’t comment on it.
“It was good! Amane-kun took me on another date on Saturday.”
Kou perked up. “Oh, Sousuke’s physics tutor?”
Nene gave him a strange look. “Yeah, and also the guy that I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now.”
Kou felt his face heat up. He was doing it again – bringing up Sousuke in every conversation. How embarrassing.
Nene giggled. “He’s a good guy, I think. Even if his sense of humour is a little weird.”
“His brother is also a freak.”
“Kou-kun, don’t say things like that! I don’t totally get Tsukasa-kun, but he’s friendly!”
“He’s friendly to you. I don’t like the way he treats Sousuke.”
Nene tilted her head, “He was acting normally on Friday.”
Oh right, Tsukasa was at the party too.
“Really? He didn’t do anything weird?”
Nene shook her head with creased brows. “Seriously, he didn’t do anything.” Her expression shifted to a knowing smile. “I think you might be a little jealous, Kou-kun.”
How was everyone reading him like a fucking book lately?
“I’m not! I mean– I dunno. I just get a bad vibe from that guy.” Kou sighed. “But Amane seems alright; I’m glad you like the time you spend with him.”
Nene smiled in understanding. “Thanks, Kou-kun. You’re a good friend, you know. I’ll miss you if you do end up dropping out.”
Kou smiled. “I’ll miss you too, senpai.” He checked the time– one hour until class. “I think you should probably study some more for your Korean exam”, he told Nene. “It’s getting close to noon.”
Nene shot out of her chair. “Ack! You’re right, I should head to the library!” She started hurriedly packing her bag to leave. “Thanks again for catching up! Good luck with Mitsuba-kun!” she called as she scurried out of the café, leaving Kou standing in confusion. Good luck with Sousuke? What did that mean?
—
Monday mornings were great, but Monday afternoons were terrible, because that meant calculus and geography back to back. Kou tried his best to focus on integrals and globalization instead of thinking of Sousuke. He probably didn’t even have to study if he was going to drop out, but better safe than sorry. His efforts proved useless, though. It was like every time he blinked, he would see glimpses of pink hair or slender fingers holding a camera. Every question on paper would spark a question in his head. What should I wear today? Would he make fun of me if I dressed nice? Would it be a good or bad thing if he didn’t? All he could do was pray that none of his professors would call on him.
As soon as the clock hit 4:00 PM, Kou was bolting out of his geography classroom and making a beeline for his dorm building. As soon as he reached his room, he threw his bag on the floor and immediately started pulling out the clothes he had planned to wear out with Sousuke. He took off the white hoodie he was wearing and opened his closet door. Already having decided what to wear instead of taking notes earlier, he immediately took his cream coloured button-up, brown vest, brown slacks, and orange tie from their respective hangers. A little formal, sure, but this was as close to a date with Sousuke as he was gonna get; he wanted to at least look nice. He checked the time– 4:10 PM. Oh. He still had nearly a whole hour.
He decided not to get dressed yet, and instead picked up his soccer ball and started to shuffle it between his feet. His mind wandered to his meeting with Sousuke again. I missed you, Minamoto-kun kept echoing through his mind. God, that guy was gonna be the death of him.
Kou let himself be lost in his thoughts while aimlessly kicking his ball around the dorm, and when he felt like enough time had passed he checked his phone– 4:26. Oh. Well, if he got ready now and didn’t walk too quickly, he could get to the fine arts building fifteen minutes early. Early is on time, right? He’d rather sit idly over there than in his room, anyway.
After putting on his maybe-too-formal outfit, Kou made sure he had his keys and wallet before stepping out of his room. Just as he finished locking his door, a door opened from the other side of the hallway.
“Kou!”
Kou turned around, now face to face with Yokoo and Satou.
“Oh, hey guys! What’s up?”
“We’re just heading out to get some food.” Yokoo told him. “What are you all dressed up for?”
“Going on a date or something?” Satou asked.
“Oh, no– Sousuke and I are getting dinner later.”
Satou tilted his head. “So… you're going on a date.”
Kou chose to ignore that comment. “I just missed his birthday celebration on Friday, so I’m making up for it by treating him to dinner.”
“Oh, right!” Yokoo exclaimed. “How come you weren’t there?”
Kou fidgeted with his keys. “Um, I had some family stuff come up. Did you guys enjoy the party, though?”
Either Yokoo understood that Kou didn’t want to talk about it or he was satisfied with Kou’s answer, because he didn’t pry into it.
“Yeah, it was nice to see Sousuke again! I haven’t seen him much since orientation week.”
“Same. We could tell he missed you, though.” Satou added.
Kou gave a lopsided smile. “So I’ve heard.”
Satou smiled and nodded, then grabbed Yokoo’s arm. “Well, it was nice seeing you, man. Have fun on your date!” Yokoo gave a wave, and the two were off.
Yokoo and Satou were always pushing Kou to start dating and assuming romantic intentions when he was around girls, so he knew he probably shouldn’t read too much into that comment, but his mind couldn’t help but wander in that direction as he walked out of his residence hall. Do we really look that much like a couple? Does Sousuke know that we do?
Kou put in his earbuds and turned on some music to focus on while walking to the fine arts building, forcing himself to snap out of his yearning. Having thoughts like this right before spending time with the person at the center of them would not be good for him.
—
When he got to the fine arts lobby, Kou was surprised to find Sousuke already there, setting up his camera on a tripod.
“Hey, Sousuke," he greeted.
Clearly too focused on his camera to notice Kou walking in, Sousuke startled.
“Mi-Minamoto-kun!” His face went red. “Why are you here so early? Trying to creep on me or something? And what are you so dressed up for?”
Kou rolled his eyes.
“I came to help set up,” he lied, ignoring the question about his clothes. “Need help with the camera?” Sousuke made a disgusted face.
“As if I'd ever let you near my camera, you pervert! Nobody is allowed to touch my baby!” Sousuke shouted. He cleared his throat and went back to a normal volume, “I'm pretty much done setting up, though. If you could set up that ring light,” he gestured to a box near Kou, “all we'll have to do is just wait for Yamabuki to get here.”
Kou wasn't disturbed by Sousuke's mini outburst; his camera was his prized possession, after all. He nodded and walked over to the box Sousuke pointed to and started putting the pieces of the light together.
After a few minutes of hesitantly setting up the light, Kou turned to Sousuke.
“Does this look right?” he asked.
Sousuke looked over and hummed. “Yeah, it looks fine.”
Sousuke put his camera down and checked his phone. He sighed. “If he doesn't get here in 15 minutes, I'm charging a late fee.”
“Who is this guy, anyway? He's a dancer, right?” Kou asked, sitting down on one of the lobby's chairs.
“Yamabuki Lemon. He's the captain of the dance team, and also Amane-senpai's roommate.” Sousuke sat down next to him. He typed something on his phone, then handed it to Kou. “These are some of his videos; he's really good.”
Before Kou got to see the videos, though, a notification popped up on the screen– a text from Nene.
good luck tonight, mitsuba-kun! ;)
Sousuke shrieked and rushed to grab his phone back.
Kou tilted his head. “What's tonight? Are you doing something after dinner?”
Sousuke went red. “N-None of your business, Minamoto-kun! H-Hey, I hear footsteps! I bet he's here!”
And sure enough, Yamabuki strolled into the fine arts lobby, raising his hand in a casual wave.
“Yo. Sorry I'm late; practice was a little long.” He glanced between the two of them. “Are you both photographers, or…?”
“Hah! As if this idiot could take a decent photo!”
Kou turned towards Sousuke. “Hey–”
“Anyway! We're just doing headshots, right? Do you have a preference for where you stand?”
Yamabuki shrugged. “Up to you; you’re the photographer.”
Kou sat in the same chair for the whole photoshoot, watching how professional Sousuke could act, how talented he was at his art. He was so focused and patient, even when he somehow had to remind Yamabuki to put his phone down while getting his photo taken. He’d seen Sousuke take photos before, but seeing him at a paid gig brought out a completely different side to him. Kou was sure he looked like an idiot the way he was sitting and staring, but he didn’t care, because whenever Sousuke caught his eye and gave him a little smile, nothing else mattered.