Four ducks of a feather

by Blueberrywriter10

Summary:

{2:30 am}

 

Darknessincarnate: I regret ever finding you.

 

Darknessincarnate: Fuck you.

 

Asskicker: No you don't.

 

Asskicker: also language.

 

Darknessincarnate: Your username literally has a curse word in it????

 

Asskicker: Not by choice, you made it that way and I can't change it back.

Notes:

• Inspired by But You Ain't One by bamboozledeagle

Ello! Welcome to this Chatfic! (It is not just a chatfic, it can also have written portions but I'll mainly write it chat style.)

I was inspired by another Chatfic I read and decided to write my own! (We need more of these) That Chatfic is wonderful you should totally check it out. I'll leave a link in the notes somewhere.

(The link in question✨: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985463 )

Also if you have any suggestions for scenarios, please let me know! I may not write all of them, but they'll aid me in figuring out what to write next! Anyways, enough rambling, onto the story!

(Adding this key to this so you know who's who:

Darknessincarnate - Drake

Asskicker - Donald)

Chapter 1

{2:30 am}

 

Darknessincarnate: I regret ever finding you.

 

Darknessincarnate: Fuck you.

 

Asskicker: No you don't.

 

Asskicker: also language.

 

Darknessincarnate: Your username literally has a curse word in it????

 

Asskicker: Not by choice, you made it that way and I can't change it back.

 

Darknessincarnate: You have to admit, is it wrong? Also your last user sucked ass.

 

Asskicker: WHAT

 

Asskicker: IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ‘ASSKICKER’

 

Asskicker: It was a work of art, Drake. How dare you sully it's name.

 

Darknessincarnate: Uh huh. ‘Sailorofthehighseas’ isn't what I'd call a good username. 

 

Darknessincarnate: Basic

 

Darknessincarnate: What I gave you fits better

 

Asskicker: And why, pray tell, does it fit me better?

 

Darknessincarnate: Have you seen the amount of asses you've kicked? Mine included. (Unfortunately.)

 

Asskicker:... You deserved that when it happened

 

Darknessincarnate: I LITERALLY did NOTHING to deserve that.

 

Asskicker: You made a child CRY

 

Darknessincarnate: I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

 

Asskicker: Lies

 

Darknessincarnate: NOT LIES, IM OFFENDED HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I, DRAKE MALLARD, AM A LIAR

 

Asskicker: Be offended

 

Darknessincarnate: This is why I regret tracking you down

 

Asskicker: Sure, keep telling yourself that

 

Darknessincarnate: You are unbearable. You're a gremlin. A menace. A gremace… Menlin??? Whatever , you are a hybrid of chaos.

 

Asskicker: Aweeee thank you =]

 

Darknessincarnate: never put an emoticon in your texts ever again

 

Asskicker: Just because of that, I WILL keep adding them >:3

 

Darknessincarnate: I hate you

Chapter 2

Notes:

[Username key!:

Darknessincarnate - Drake

Asskicker - Donald

Sunshineinventor - Fenton]

{5:00 pm}

 

Sunshineinventor: I'm perishing, what is this

 

Asskicker: another victim

 

Asskicker: Welcome to the club

 

Asskicker: We have cookies

 

Sunshineinventor: Oh , cookies? … Not AS perishing Ig

 

Sunshineinventor: wait what kind? 🤨

 

Asskicker: Whatever kind you want

 

Sunshineinventor: Judgement has been reeled back in

 

Asskicker: wait what

 

Asskicker: Fenton what 

 

Asskicker: What judgement, I need answers

 

Asskicker: FENTON WHAT JUDGEMENT 

 

 

{5:03 pm}

 

Darknessincarnate: I see you found out

 

Sunshineinventor: FOUND OUT???

 

Sunshineinventor: how long has my name been like this

 

Asskicker: Three days.

 

Asskicker: ALSO YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION, FENTON

 

Sunshineinventor: Oh sorry , Donald!... I will not elaborate.

 

Asskicker: how dare you

 

Sunshineinventor: More like how dare Drake for changing everyone's usernames.

 

Darknessincarnate: I'll have you know I left LP’s alone

 

Asskicker: good

 

Sunshineinventor: Not that I'm complaining, but why?

 

Darknessincarnate: because it's perfect just the way it is

 

Sunshineinventor:.. fair

 

Sunshineinventor: so why this as mine?

 

Darknessincarnate: no comment

 

Sunshineinventor: NO COMMENT????

 

 

 

{6:30 pm}

 

Darknessincarnate: Donald

 

Darknessincarnate: I will end you

 

Darknessincarnate: I will make you regret 

 

Darknessincarnate: I wish for you to step on a Lego

 

Darknessincarnate: I wish for your pillow to always be warm no matter which side you turn it

 

Darknessincarnate: I wish for you to always be at the edge of going to sleep land then suddenly your mind keeps you up with ideas 

 

Sunshineinventor: Not to interrupt your.. monologue, but why is that last one a bad thing?

 

Darknessincarnate: think about it, Every night, for the rest of your existence, no matter how hard you try you won't be able to sleep because your mind won't shut up

 

Sunshineinventor:... I can see how that would be a problem.

 

Sunshineinventor: Although it sounds more like if insomnia was tied to idea making

 

Darknessincarnate: .

 

 

Asskicker: sounds like the usual for me

 

Asskicker: also what in the stars did I do to make you wish for me to have inconveniences?

 

Darknessincarnate: You stole the last slice of pizza from me

 

Asskicker: it literally was sitting on the counter

 

Asskicker: you were several rooms away from it

 

Asskicker: it had no such claim

 

Darknessincarnate: Says you

 

Asskicker: Drake, you do realize that these inconveniences already happen to me, right?

 

Darknessincarnate: what

 

Asskicker: my luck is terrible. You've literally seen me have like a hundred inconveniences in the matter of a minute before

 

Darknessincarnate: oh right

 

Darknessincarnate: Damn it, I've got to come up with other things to wish upon your downfall

 

Asskicker: you're lucky you're in St. Canard right now

 

 

Chapter 3

Notes:

[ user key!:

Luckyducky - Gladstone

Sailorducky - Donald]

{8:00 pm}

 

Luckyducky: Hey dearest cousin of mine, how's it hanging?

 

Sailorducky: I thought that was Fethry. 🤨

 

Luckyducky: can't all my cousins be my dearest ones?

 

Sailorducky:...

 

Sailorducky: Gladstone, why are you texting me?

 

Luckyducky: Can't I just text my amazing cousin?

 

Sailorducky: ok now I know you want something. 

 

Luckyducky: wahhh no, whatever gave you that idea?

 

Sailorducky: what did you do

 

Luckyducky: nothing

 

Sailorducky: uh huh. Sure

 

Sailorducky: so if I ask Fethry, he won't tell me that you're in trouble?

 

Luckyducky:...

 

Luckyducky: Don't ask Fethry Donnie, please don't ask Fethry

 

Sailorducky: I won't if you tell me 

 

Luckyducky:.....

 

Luckyducky: Ok fine. Sooo I may have 

 

Luckyducky: I may have a situation that my luck can't get me out of

 

Sailorducky: I swear if you got trapped by a luck vampire again

 

Luckyducky: help

 

Sailorducky: oh my gods, you did

 

Sailorducky: you're lucky I care about you being alive

 

Luckyducky: aweee so you'll help me?

 

Sailorducky: ugh

 

Sailorducky: unfortunately 

 

Luckyducky: THANK YOU

 

Sailorducky: wait why do you even have your phone if you got trapped?

 

Luckyducky:.. my luck helped me with that at least?

 

Sailorducky: of course. I'll be there in 10.

 

Luckyducky: please hurry

 

 

{11:00 pm}

 

Sailorducky: Let's never do that again

 

Luckyducky: agreed

 

Sailorducky: I can't believe that worked

 

Luckyducky: what can I say, my luck is amazing

 

Sailorducky: let me rephrase

 

Sailorducky: I can't believe that worked with MY luck

 

Luckyducky: I think our lucks nullify each other sometimes, or overpower eachother

 

Sailorducky: you just realized that now?

 

Luckyducky: no

 

Luckyducky: I've been thinking about it for a while now

 

Luckyducky: makes sense in some ways, right?

 

Sailorducky: Ig

 

Sailorducky:...

 

Sailorducky: Gladstone, don't ever get caught by a luck vampire again

 

Sailorducky: I will kill you if you get caught again

 

Luckyducky: I'm glad you care for my wellbeing <3

 

Sailorducky: yeah yeah whatever you big palooka

 

Sailorducky: get some sleep Gladstone

 

Luckyducky: gn double d

 

Sailorducky: …

 

Sailorducky: night gladstone

Chapter 4

Notes:

[User key!:

Darknessincarnate - Drake

Asskicker - Donald]

{2:30 am}

 

Darknessincarnate: … Heyyyy Donald?

 

Darknessincarnate: Donaldddd

 

Darknessincarnate: Donald please pick up

 

Darknessincarnate: PLEASE

 

 

Asskicker: Drake it's literally 2 in the morning, why are you texting me

 

Darknessincarnate: I couldn't sleep

 

Asskicker:... You couldn't sleep?

 

Darknessincarnate: no

 

Asskicker : and that's not ALL you're texting me for, right? There's not another reason?

 

Darknessincarnate:.... 

 

Darknessincarnate: ok, so maybeee I need

 

Darknessincarnate: advice

 

Asskicker: what kind?

 

Darknessincarnate:.... So , hypothetically, if you were in a fight, and the bad guy had a gun that would freeze most of your body except your hands and head, and he got away, how would you handle it?

 

Asskicker:....

 

Asskicker: you need help don't you

 

Darknessincarnate: PLEASE, IM STUCK

 

Asskicker: you're well aware I'm retired, right?

 

Darknessincarnate: Donald I'm begging you

 

Darknessincarnate: I'll pay you back whatever way you want

 

Darknessincarnate: I'll even get you all the snacks you want for a month

 

 

Asskicker: you're bribing me to help you?

 

Darknessincarnate: is it working?

 

Asskicker:...

 

Asskicker: maybe 

 

Asskicker: fine I'll help. But not because you bribed me

 

Darknessincarnate: YES THANK YOU

 

 

 

 

 

{4:50 am}

 

Asskicker: Why were you paralyzed in a trash can?

 

Darknessincarnate: The guy was an asshole

 

Asskicker: that tracks. You're lucky I was able to find you AND the guy.

 

Darknessincarnate: .. actually, what happened to him? Did he get away???

 

Asskicker: no. The moment he spotted me , he tried bolting.

 

Asskicker: it was too late for HIM though

 

Darknessincarnate:... Why did you type that so ominously

 

Asskicker: =]

 

Darknessincarnate: do I even want to know

 

Asskicker: nope

 

Asskicker: just know he won't bother anyone for a long while

 

 

Darknessincarnate: Damn you're terrifying 

 

Chapter 5

Notes:

[user key!:

Sunshineinventor - Fenton

Darknessincarnate - Drake

Asskicker - Donald]

{10:20 pm}

 

Sunshineinventor: Drake, I have a concern.

 

Darknessincarnate: Concern?

 

Sunshineinventor: yeah… you wouldn't happen to be in Duckburg, right?

 

Darknessincarnate:...

 

Darknessincarnate:... WHAT???? NO

 

Sunshineinventor: You're not? Are you sure?

 

Darknessincarnate: YES IM SURE

 

Darknessincarnate: why are you asking

 

Sunshineinventor: well… I kinda saw you swinging around here not too long ago. Like a minute ago, and so I wanted to ask just to see if you were!

 

Darknessincarnate:.. for a second I thought maybe you saw a cosplayer but now I'm concerned cuz cosplayers would not be swinging around at night… Was it with a grappling hook?

 

Sunshineinventor: yes?

 

Darknessincarnate:... Fuck.

 

Sunshineinventor: Drake? Is something wrong?

 

Darknessincarnate: That wasn't me.

 

Darknessincarnate: Fen, keep an eye on where fake me goes, I'll head that way as fast as possible.

 

Sunshineinventor:... You sound worried

 

Darknessincarnate: No shit I'm worried, if that's an evil me I need to stop him right away!

 

Sunshineinventor: EVIL YOU???

 

{11:50 pm}

 

Darknessincarnate: Here, where is he

 

Sunshineinventor: looks like he's by that new ice cream place.. Madam Zee’s sweet dreams is its name!

 

Darknessincarnate: ok, but WHERE??? I'm not from Duckburg remember 

 

Sunshineinventor: oh right! Sorry, ok, so take main street then turn right onto central Ave. There's a park that you'll have to pass and about a block or two down there's a gas station. It's to the right of it!

 

Darknessincarnate: got it, thanks Fen!

 

Sunshineinventor: no problem! Just.. please tell me if you need help!

 

Darknessincarnate: aight

 

 

{12:30 am}

 

Asskicker: Fenton why is there two Darkwing ducks fist fighting infront of that new ice cream place

 

Sunshineinventor: still not sure myself… wait what are you doing up? I thought you were at the manor? 

 

Asskicker: can't I take a midnight stroll whenever I please?

 

Sunshineinventor: well- I guess

 

Sunshineinventor: I'm on standby just in case DW needs my help.

 

Asskicker: good. It looks like it's getting intense and he may need it.

 

Sunshineinventor: … the problem is, I can't actually tell who is.. our DW?

 

Asskicker: .

 

Asskicker: this is why I hate doppelgangers

 

Sunshineinventor: have you dealt with them before???

 

Asskicker: debatable. I did deal with a fake PK before, but that was just a statue repainted to look like my hero self. 

 

Sunshineinventor: ah

 

Sunshineinventor:... Can you tell who is the real one?

 

Asskicker: the one with more purple. One of them has more gold and black than purple. Too much gold actually.

 

Sunshineinventor: you can tell that??? They both look the same to me!

 

Asskicker: well.. I've always been good with details. Helped when I was an active hero. 

 

Sunshineinventor: fascinating!

 

Sunshineinventor: oh one of them picked up a car-

 

Asskicker: That's the fake. As strong as our buddy is, he isn't strong enough to pick up a car from my knowledge.

 

 

Sunshineinventor:... Ohhh I see! You're right, that is too much gold. 

 

Asskicker: told you.

Chapter 6

Notes:

Donald finally figured out how to change his name again lol

Also Userkey!

Darknessincarnate - Drake

Sunshineinventor - Fenton

Asskicker/ Seavenger - Donald

Crasherextraordinaire - Launchpad (I finally figured out a username for launchpad-)

{7:30 am}

 

[Asskicker changed their name to Seavenger!]

 

Seavenger: FINALLY

 

Seavenger: I FINALLY CHANGED IT HAHAHAH

 

Seavenger: FUCK YOU DRAKE

 

Darknessincarnate: NO

 

Darknessincarnate: HOW????

 

Seavenger: NOT TELLING

 

Darknessincarnate: BUT IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE

 

Seavenger: IT IS NOW BITCH

 

Sunshineinventor: ay dios mío

 

Sunshineinventor: Do you two have to curse each other out all the time?

 

Darknessincarnate: YES

 

Seavenger: Absolutely 

 

Sunshineinventor: .

 

Sunshineinventor: I hope you know I just did the biggest sigh in my life

 

Crasherextraordinaire: Oh I heard it! I'm sitting next to you!

 

Sunshineinventor: oh hey Lp

 

Darknessincarnate: LP

 

Seavenger: Hi LP

 

Crasherextraordinaire: Hey guys! What are you talking about?

 

Seavenger: don't worry about it, just some user name shenanigans by Drake

 

Darknessincarnate: throw me under the bus why don't you…

 

Seavenger: what? It's just facts

 

Darknessincarnate: you irk me

 

Seavenger: good

 

Crasherextraordinaire: Oh! I was wondering why your usernames were different!

 

Crasherextraordinaire: huh, I wonder why me and DW’s usernames aren't changed!

 

Sunshineinventor: wonder why indeed…

 

Darknessincarnate: is that SARCASM, my dear nervous ally?

 

Sunshineinventor: says the guy who rambles when nervous

 

Darknessincarnate: YOU’RE THE SAME WAY???

 

Sunshineinventor: Not exactly, I mean I don't ramble THAT much-

 

Seavenger: no no, you ramble. Just in a different way compared to Drake.

 

Crasherextraordinaire: welllll I mean, he has a point-

 

Darknessincarnate: Who's side are you on Lp

 

Crasherextraordinaire:...everyone's????

 

Crasherextraordinaire: guys please play nice

 

Darknessincarnate: no promises

 

Chapter 7

Summary:

When you decide to do patrol after so long and a jerk decides to make it your problem-

Notes:

User key!

Evronianssuckmoreat11: Pk (aka Donald lol)

Pilot: LP

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: Darkwing Duck ( Drake)

Gadgetsandgizmos: Gizmoduck! (Fenton!)

Clover: Clover Leaf (Gladstone!)

{4:50 pm}

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I'm so fucking tired of this BULLSHIT

 

Pilot: woah, you ok? Is something wrong???

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: I'm surprised you brought this to the hero chat.. does it have anything to do with hero stuff

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: YES

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: I thought you said you were, and I quote, “retired”?

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I AM

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I GO OUT IN MY SUIT ONE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE I JUST FIGURED ‘HEY WHY NOT, IT'S BEEN A WHILE’ AND SOME ASSHOLE DECIDES TO TRACK ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY LIKE HE HAD MY LOCATION LOCKED AND FORCED ME TO FIGHT HIM

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: i-

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: what

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: wait seriously???

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: YES

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: WORST OF ALL, HE INJECTED ME WITH SOMETHING AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: that's really concerning??? Are you ok, do you need medical assistance 

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I DON'T KNOW

 

Pilot: PK, just take a deeeeeppp breath! Freaking out won't help right now!

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I'M NOT FREAKING OUT

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I'M THE PEAK OF CALM

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: Ok, I'm coming to your location and taking you to the lab.

 

Clover: WHAT

 

Clover: SOMEONE INJECTED YOU WITH SOMETHING???

 

Clover: Gizmo, I'm closest I'll get him. Besides my luck can get him there faster.

 

Gadgetsandgizmos:well…

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: ok, just hurry

 

Clover: On it

Notes:

Just to clarify why LP called donald PK, it's because of secret identity stuff! This is their hero chat, so they gotta be secretive!

Also I had to add Clover Leaf!Gladstone, it was a must (I need to tag him I believe...)

Chapter 8

Notes:

(user key!:

Evronianssuckmoreat11 - Donald/PK

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN - Drake

Clover - Gladstone

Gadgetsandgizmos - Fenton!

No Launchpad today unfortunately :( )

Gadgetsandgizmos: HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: why are you yelling at me in the group chat??? 

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO YELL IN THE LAB

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: ANSWER ME, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU NOT DEAD

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I don't know what to tell you. I'm too stubborn to die I guess???

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD’??? I'M TRYING TO GET THERE

 

Gadgetsandgizmos: HE GOT INJECTED WITH THE MOST VENOMOUS SNAKE'S VENOM, THE KIND THAT DEFINITELY KILLS YOU

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: W H A T

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11:... I mean

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: it didn't kill me

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: apparently I have a high tolerance to venoms? 

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: how are you so calm now???

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: because I know what I was injected with now. 

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: it was

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: SNAKE

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: VENOM 

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: Yeah

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: it's also not a virus or something that could hurt my kids 

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: so not that concerning?

 

Clover: Cuz

 

Clover: Darling cousin of mine

 

Clover: it VERY much is concerning

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: I mean it's not the first time I got bit by a venomous snake? 

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: Clover you've been on adventures you should know they appear sometimes 

 

Clover:YOU GOT BITTEN BY VENOMOUS SNAKES ON THE ADVENTURES????

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: .

Evronianssuckmoreat11: oh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evronianssuckmoreat11: Why do I hear boss music?

Notes:

I did try to write this as a story style chapter instead of chatfic style, but I got VERY stuck so I ended up writing the after math of them finding out lol

(Also fun fact I imagine that when this part happened: Evronianssuckmoreat11: because I know what I was injected with now.

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: it was

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: SNAKE

 

WhoneedspowerswhenihaveaGUN: VENOM

Drake was clapping between the words when he said snake venom , like

SNAKE 👏

VENOM 👏 type thing lol)

Chapter 9

Summary:

User key!:

Planesarecool - Della

Sailorofthehighseas - Donald

Planesarecool -> Sailorofthehighseas

 

{1:00 am}

 

Planesarecool: heyyyy don, you up?

 

Sailorofthehighseas: Della it's 1 in the morning

 

Planesarecool: oh good you are :D

 

Sailorofthehighseas: Why are you awake?

 

Planesarecool: well I could ask you the same thing

 

Sailorofthehighseas: I asked first 🤨

 

Planesarecool: well I asked second!

 

Sailorofthehighseas: That's not how this works

 

Planesarecool: is too!

 

Sailorofthehighseas: Della

 

Planesarecool:... ok ok. 

 

Planesarecool:... you remember those nights where we'd sneak into the kitchen for cookies and hot chocolate?

 

Sailorofthehighseas:... Yes?

 

Planesarecool: can we do that?

 

Sailorofthehighseas: …

 

Sailorofthehighseas: bad dream?

 

Planesarecool: you could say that

 

Sailorofthehighseas: I'll be there in 5

 

Planesarecool: thanks don

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Ducktales/Paperinik/Disney crossover fics