two sided feeling

by tsumeilin

Summary:

When Todoroki slips up and does something he would never do, it becomes a common practice between him and Midoriya. He didn't know it would end up like this.

Notes:

Based on a prompt where Person A and Person B kiss eachother's injuries.

This is for my friend @moekakyoin on twitter!! Thank you so much!! She helped me a lot and even gave me the idea for the fic!

Chapter 1: i.

 The first time it happens, it's unexpected and soft; shy in the way that neither of them really know what to do.

 Midoriya’s hands are scarred - deformed, even - and out of habit, or maybe out of some sort of longing in Todoroki to rewind time, back to the days before his mother's accident, he takes Midoriya’s hand in his own and presses it gently to his lips.

 The sound of Midoriya’s gasp alerts Todoroki of his actions. They're both red - Todoroki lets go of his hand, and he does his best to suppress the heat rising from his body.

 “Todo-” Midoriya begins, but Todoroki cuts him off.

 “I'm sorry. It...” he thinks again of his mother, who would bend her head down to kiss him wherever he was hurt. He swallows, solemn, and looks away. “It was an accident.”

 Silence blossoms between them as Todoroki ponders a good explanation for what he has done. Not quite sure of an answer himself, he turns, about to leave Midoriya alone, and as his hand grasps at the door knob, Midoriya’s voice severs the thoughts behind the action.

 “Todoroki.”

 He freezes. His skin on his left side is still scalding. Midoriya is sure to notice it.

 “Just then, your eyes...they looked like they were asking for help.”

 How utterly cheesy for him to say. But he knows and hears the weight behind his words, and there's a sudden compulsion to spill his thoughts to him.

 Todoroki turns to look back at Midoriya, who faces him, eyes glistening with the hardened glimmer that only he could wear.

"She...my mother.” Todoroki finds himself speaking already, without another thought, and he's surprised how trusting those eyes of his are. “She would do that whenever I was injured. I just...did the same.”

 Midoriya just stares at him for a moment - like he is trying make out what he means. It causes apprehension to form between the two of them; Todoroki’s skin is still sizzling.

 And just like that, a smile covers Midoriya’s face, one so kind and gentle that takes him off guard, and he feels like he has to remember this moment, take it and tuck it away into himself.

 “It's okay. I don't mind.”

 A flame flickers on Todoroki’s shoulder, and he leaves the room without any more words tossed between them.

♥♥♥

 The second comes after an accident in class.

 Midoriya’s arm is broken. One for All was not breaking into him yet, and the trial during class (as well as him trying to avoid a scuffle with an angry Bakugou) did not help. If it weren't for Todoroki calming him down after, who knows what would've happened between the two rivals.

 He thinks of the vicious snarl that wore Bakugou’s face as he directed his palm at him, and the look of horror that temporarily crossed Iida’s features as he, too, dove in to get Bakugou to settle down. It was a sight he was expecting, but not one he was prepared for. He wonders when the battered thread of compliance between him and Bakugou would sever again.

 Recovery Girl is not happy. She rarely is these days, especially when she has to see Midoriya in her office again. She leaves for a moment, presumably to talk to All Might, to berate him, over his negligence of keeping Midoriya safe. His nerves bunch up in his chest as he thinks of how angry she had been with him, and how she will be with All Might - even if it’s not as big of an injury as usual, he still feels bad for having to see her once again.

 Midoriya sighs and looks at his hand. His arm is not as beat up as it would be with his quirk, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. He had had an onslaught of panicked apologies from Iida over it (Lord knows why - the boy took it on himself to be responsible for whatever happened during class).

 No, Midoriya thinks, and he shakes his head to affirm his thoughts. This isn't anything. Not compared to what I’ve experienced before, and will probably have to experience in the future...

 There's a knock on the door that flushes down his thoughts.

 Todoroki steps in, his usual expression of indifference veiled over his face, but Midoriya can see the unease that he tries so hard to conceal.

 Oh, Midoriya remembers, looking over Todoroki, and something akin to guilt crosses his mind. I’ve been so busy thinking of myself, I’d forgotten...

 “Midoriya, your arm-”

 “No, Todoroki.” Midoriya cuts him off, and Todoroki clears away the surprise from his eyes in a flash. “You're injured too. Let me see.”

 Todoroki looks away, and slips his right hand into his pocket.

 “Don't be like that. Show me.”

 They both stare at each other, Midoriya’s gaze patient and coaxing, and it's all it takes for him to listen. He pulls his hand out of his pocket - wrapped and bound in gauze for it to heal the gash from Dark Shadow. Midoriya remembers the blood that pooled in the boy's palm, how he paid almost no mind to it, and the regret that flashed over Tokoyami’s face.

 “Did you get it Recovery’d already?” Midoriya asks, and Todoroki grunts.

 "It’s still healing, but it doesn't hurt anymore.”

 “Come here.”

 At least he listens, Midoriya thinks as Todoroki approaches the bed that he's sitting on warily. Even if he is kind of strangely indifferent.

 “Why would you try to hide that,” He wonders out loud, and grabs Todoroki’s hand before he can muster a response. Todoroki’s breathing noticeably halts, and a smile forms over Midoriya’s lips. He flips it over in his hand, gaze traveling over the milky color of his skin. The skin on the back of his hand is surprisingly soft, and without another thought, he pulls it up to his lips.

 Todoroki’s breath returns, and he pulls his hand away, smoke rising from his body shamefully. Midoriya laughs, feeling quite flustered himself, though the look on Todoroki’s face is one that he hopes he won't forget.

 “You're embarrassed, even though you were the one who did such a weird thing before?” He watches as the smoke gently recedes from his body, and he wonders if he usually does that when someone touches him.

 Todoroki sighs, and Midoriya can see how hard he's focusing on controlling his left side. “You didn't have to do that,” he says, and Midoriya’s smile falters.

 “I know that.” You just look so sad, Todoroki. “But I wanted to.”

 I want to help you.

 Todoroki is silent. Midoriya accepts it, and smiles at him again. “I'll see you in class-”

 “Not yet.” Todoroki says, and his voice suddenly tempers, like he’s a blade and his own flame has changed something within him that Midoriya can’t quite place. But the tone is demanding enough that he quiets himself, his mouth hanging open from surprise and his abrupt lack of voice. “I thought I understood you a little better before, Midoriya.” Todoroki shuts his eyes, and Midoriya thinks he can see the faintest trace of a smile over his lips. “But you've caught me off guard again.”

 His voice changes again - it's soft, and there's a touch of admiration floating around in there that causes Midoriya to stutter. “I-I...”

 “Is your arm better yet?” Todoroki asks him, and Midoriya blinks.

 “M-My arm?” He questions dumbly, his head spinning in circles at the nonsensical person in front of him. Midoriya pushes his confusion away, and tests to see if it had been healed yet. “It feels a lot better, but I don't know if I should go to class without Recovery Girl's permission first.”

 His words are seemingly ignored by Todoroki, who is fixated on Midoriya’s arm, and he can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with his friend right now, because he hardly ever acts this way.

 Todoroki reaches his hand out to Midoriya, who flinches back on instinct, and it takes a moment for him to coax and comfort Todoroki into continuing whatever he was doing.

 Todoroki’s fingers brush over the cast, trailing all the way down until there was nowhere else for him to go. He looks at it thoughtfully as Midoriya watches him, curiosity ebbing into his mind.

 Todoroki then takes Midoriya’s free hand, and the small, soft smile returns to his lips. “This'll have to do this time,” he tells him, and turns his palm upwards, pressing his lips to it with gentle conviction, and Midoriya’s heart and brain flutter at the same pace.

♥♥♥

 A few instances after, and Todoroki is sick.

 He stays home from school for the day, his fever having strange effects on his quirk that are decidedly unsafe. The fever keeps him from using his right side at all - he cannot produce any ice - and his left is unstable, producing random bouts of flames that he can only weakly attempt to control.  

 It is an unfortunate case that does not make his father happy.

 "You will push through your sickness,” Endeavor had told him, and the words bite hard into his conscious. “Because you are my son. And you do not lose.”

 It is something he has tried hard to forget.

 A subtle knock on his door sways him; his eyes crack open, and he gives permission for her - assuming it’s his sister - to come in. It’s still far too early for his father to be home.

 It is not his sister that walks through his door. Instead, it is someone much shorter, with curly hair and a shy flush covering his freckle-dusted cheeks.

 Todoroki pushes himself up, leaning his back against the starkingly cold wall. “Midoriya,” he says, his voice brittle with his sickness. “What are you doing here?”

 “You weren’t at school today,” Midoriya says, a bright smile stretching his cheeks, and he closes the door behind him as he steps in. He sounds nervous, Todoroki notes, but it isn’t exactly unusual for him. “So I came to check up on you. How are you doing?”

 “What does it look like,” Todoroki sighs, and his head hurts in a sudden pang annoyance, half of it directed towards himself for being sick and the other to Midoriya, coming into his room with his nice smile and happy attitude.

 I’m being unfair , he thinks, and glances back over to Midoriya, who has sat himself down on the chair Todoroki’s sister was occupying an hour ago.

 “Everyone is worried about you.”

 Everyone. Todoroki’s mind flashes to his father.

 "Because you are my son.”

 Todoroki sits up straight, and his eyes are locked onto Midoriya’s. His movement makes his head swim with dizziness, but he pushes it away. He doesn’t care about how everyone thinks - what he cares about is -

 “You, too,” Todoroki says, his voice cracking, and his lungs are void of air, but he’s determined to get his next few words out. “You’re worried about me?”

 Midoriya’s jaw slacks. Todoroki’s chest heaves up and down, filling his decrepit lungs, and he watches as Midoriya’s blush travels up to his ears. Todoroki is thankful that his face is already red from fever, but it still burns, more intensely than it ever has before.

 “I...”

 Todoroki waits for Midoriya to finish, but the boy’s eyes widen suddenly, and the smell of smoke fills the air around them. Todoroki curses, his entire left arm drenched in his fever-induced flames (although he can hardly blame it only on his sickness), and he wills himself to control it, to calm it down before it becomes an even bigger issue.

 Midoriya yelps as he attempts blow on the flames to put it out, causing them to only flare larger.

 “The bowl,” Todoroki gasps, not able to extinguish his flames, and Midoriya quickly grabs for the large bowl of water Todoroki’s sister was using to wipe him down, and dumps it right on his arm.

 What’s left of Todoroki’s pajama sleeve sizzles as they both sit there, gasping from the excitement. Todoroki looks back to Midoriya, embarrassment contorting his features - and Midoriya starts laughing.

 “W-Wh-”

 “Todoroki, you-” Midoriya giggles, and it almost hurts how nice it sounds, “Sorry, sorry. You just looked so funny just now.”

 “Funny,” Todoroki repeats; incredulity begins to paint his face, and Midoriya’s head bobs up and down in agreement in such a strange manner that Todoroki feels his own anxiety begin to ebb away to the giggles of his classmate next to him.

 He stares at Midoriya, his eyes wide in wonder at the person before him, who could turn a situation on its feet in a matter of seconds. The way he can easily forget about something like that and then laugh about. How when they fought during the Sports Festival, he forgoed his own self to help him. How selfless he was, he is, and always will be. Midoriya was simply enchanting .

 “Todoroki.”

 Todoroki snaps out of his reverie, and he shakes his head. I must be going crazy, he thinks, and sighs once more.

 “...I was worried about you,” Midoriya says, his voice cracking slightly as his smile dissipates. “I thought maybe- maybe the reason you were gone was because of your father-” He winces, and Midoriya cuts off his own sentence, and his eyes speak apologies to Todoroki. He gets up, and bows slightly. “I should be going.”

 “Okay,” Todoroki replies, and feels stupid when disappointment runs through him. His fingers grip the blanket that sits lamely over his body. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I will be better by then.”

 “All right...” Midoriya’s voice is quiet now, and it takes a moment of him standing there, looking between Todoroki and the door until he places his hands on Todoroki’s shoulders, their eyes level to one another’s, and Todoroki stifles his own breath as Midoriya’s face grows somewhat close to his. “It’s a promise, then.”

 “Yeah,” Todoroki whispers, not able to speak any louder than this. “It’s a promise.”

 The smile that curls Midoriya’s lips sends his heart soaring.

 “Good,” Midoriya says, and he leans up to press a chaste, warm kiss on Todoroki’s forehead.

 “W-what are you doing,” Todoroki demands, not being able to help his sputtering. “You’re going to get sick yourself.”

 “That’s the second time you’ve stuttered today, Todoroki,” Midoriya says, a pleased glitter in his eyes. “It’s so you can get better, remember?” He steps away from his bed, his hands falling back down to his sides. “See you tomorrow, Todoroki.”

 As the door shuts behind him, Todoroki lets out a breath that he feels like he has been holding forever. His lips twitch, and he lays back down softly.

 Yeah, he thinks, and he can still feel the kiss lingering on his forehead. I’m definitely going crazy.

 ♥♥♥

 Todoroki follows Midoriya through the door to his house, hesitance keeping him feet away from overstepping his boundaries.

 They had decided to go to Midoriya’s house to work on a class project they were paired together for. Todoroki doesn’t want Midoriya to have to run into his father at any point, and Midoriya was all too eager to suggest his own home for them. It works out perfectly.

 At least, it does on the surface. Todoroki can no longer ignore the way his heart begins to beat a bit faster when Midoriya looks to him, or speaks to him, or if they’re even within five feet of one another. The sensation isn’t unwelcome, it’s just...strange. He doesn’t know exactly how to feel about it. However, the thought of being together with him is too startling for him to fathom. He can’t even begin to place what it means.

 Midoriya’s mother catches a glance of Todoroki as they enter the kitchen, and her towel drops from her hands.

 “Izuku,” she breathes, and delight begins to color her face. “You brought company.”

 “Todoroki Shouto,” he introduces himself, giving her a polite bow.

 “I know who you are - oh my, how wonderful,” Midoriya’s mother picks up her fallen towel, and flashes a smile at the two boys. “I’ll bring some snacks to your room soon, all right dear?”

 Midoriya nods and thanks his mother, and soon Todoroki is being shown to Midoriya’s room.

 Midoriya’s room is small in size, and unlike what he expected, it is actually rather clean. Todoroki supposes he should have stopped assuming things about Midoriya a while ago - he always seems to surprise him.

 There’s something odd about being in Midoriya’s room. Todoroki feels his heart pick up, and suddenly he feels very uncomfortable - like he’s been cornered into some strange...thing that he can’t even define.

 I’m being stupid again, he decides, and wills himself to calm down. It’s not even that he distrusts Midoriya. He’s having a hard time understanding what’s been going on with him.

 “You can put your things down,” Midoriya says, shaking Todoroki back to his attention.

 “Oh,” He says, feeling slightly embarrassed. He puts his school bag down beside Midoriya’s.

 He can almost feel Midoriya’s smile - he doesn’t look, but he doesn’t need to. It flashes in his mind every now and then.

 The both of them sit down at the table, Todoroki’s hand accidentally brushing against Midoriya’s, and he snaps it away in the blink of an eye, avoiding Midoriya’s confused gaze. In silence, he takes out the assignment they were given together, and begins to work on his part of it, trying very, very hard to focus on it rather than think about how rough Midoriya’s hands are, despite looking so soft -

 He’s not focusing very well. Damn it. He suppresses the groan that rises into his chest.

 “Todoroki,” Midoriya says, his voice a mixture of worry and amusement, something that causes Todoroki to blush, despite his miraculous effort not to. “Are you okay?”

 He doesn’t glance his way. “Yeah,” he says, and taps his pencil on his paper to make it look like he’s thinking of anything but the boy beside him.

 There’s a pause. One so lengthy that Todoroki assumes that he’s safe, and he begins to immerse himself into their project and the packets that glare at the two of them with suspicious eyes, like they were accusing them of doing something they weren’t supposed to -

 “Todoroki,” Midoriya interrupts the silence, and Todoroki’s eyes snap up to his. “Can I ask you a question?”

 Midoriya sets his pencil down. He fidgets, looking nervously over to Todoroki, who shrugs, trying hard to keep himself from appearing as flustered as he feels.

 “S-sorry,” Midoriya says, a sheepish smile curling his lips, and Todoroki barely catches the soft pink that dusts over his freckles. “I’ve just been wondering...”

 He waits for him to speak again. The silence is daunting; Todoroki gazes at him, wanting to appear patient, but his nerves are just as jittery as Midoriya’s.

 “Does it hurt?” Midoriya spits out, eyes wide. “Your scar, I mean.”

 “Oh.” He was definitely not expecting that question. Out of habit, his hand reaches up to touch the destroyed, rough skin around his left eye. He thinks of the boiling water, how it singed the skin off of his face, the immediate and desperate blindness. The way his mother looked at him as she did it.

 “Not anymore,” he says.

 “He’s a monster,” she cried, her voice brittle and worn like she had been crying for hours.

 But it did.

 Todoroki’s eyes close. There is no use in reliving those moments. He has grown out of the bitter fear and hatred he experienced then.

 A hand touches his. It is rough, frayed with callouses and scars, and when Todoroki opens his eyes, he thinks once again how soft they appeared to be.

 “Did...” Midoriya’s voice is quiet, hesitance etched into it, and his hand wraps itself around Todoroki’s. “Did you ever hate her for it?”

 His mother's words echo in his mind again. “He’s a monster.”

 “I did...” Midoriya lowers Todoroki’s hand away from his eye, and their gazes snap together. “But... I realized it wasn't her fault. It was his . My father's.”

 Midoriya is quiet. Todoroki isn't surprised, but his silence isn't comforting. Despite him telling Midoriya of it before...this time, it's different, and Todoroki has a feeling it has something to do with the way his heart beats faster when he sees him smile, and how his body temperature spikes up when he gets too close.

 He probably doesn't know how to respond to something like that, Todoroki wishes, not for the first time, that he never had that damn scar.

 Midoriya opens his mouth, and pauses - it's like Todoroki can see him forming thoughts at the ridges of his lips. “Can I touch it?”

 “Wh-” Todoroki’s eyes widen, and suddenly he becomes very aware of how Midoriya is still holding onto his hand - how he holds it to the firmly to the floor, away from where it was before, and he has the sudden, conscious need to cover his scar again. “Why would you want to do that?”

 “I just do,” Midoriya replies, and he looks at him with those strong, determined eyes that Todoroki knows will always get what they want. “Please.”

 Soon, he won't ever be able to say no to him, Todoroki realizes - and he nods, the tingling sensation of oncoming flames reverberating over his left side.

 Midoriya is slow as he retracts his hand from Todoroki’s - the seconds feel long and heavy, the air warming with each breath they take. His fingers are gentle as they brush across his skin, and Todoroki keeps his eyes locked onto Midoriya’s face, the boy’s previous determination having been replaced with another expression that he couldn't quite pinpoint.

 “Um, can you close your eyes,” Midoriya asks, and Todoroki sees it again - the pinkish blush that dusts under his freckles. He gives Midoriya a questioning look, but he just flushes even more just before Todoroki does as he's asked.

 He feels Midoriya’s other hand touch his right cheek, and the fingers that were touching his scar slides down so they're symmetrical, and Midoriya is cupping his face with his hands, and Todoroki grows warm again, steam beginning to rise off of his body as Midoriya places his lips against his left eye.

 A memory springs into his mind.

 “Shouto,” A gentle voice coos in his ear, and his mother’s fingers brush through his hair. “Someday, you’ll be able to find someone that you can trust with your life. Someone that will treat you with respect and care.”

 "Really?” He asks, and he turns to look at his mother with wide, curious eyes. “How will I know when I do?”

 She laughs, and he smiles with her. “You’ll know, Shouto. I promise.”

 Oh, Todoroki thinks, and there's a smile that curls across his lips. So that's what this is .

 Midoriya’s lips leave his face and Todoroki opens his eyes. Both boys’ faces are a dark shade of pink, and Midoriya’s eyes shine with what only could be happiness.

 I've got a crush on Midoriya.

 Midoriya’s lips hang open, like he has something else to say-

 But the doors swing open before he can say anything else, and the two boys jump apart in a flash, their embarrassment clear on their faces, Todoroki’s heart still racing, his body still steaming.

 Midoriya’s mother doesn't even notice as she sets a tray of snacks on the table for them, and Todoroki thinks that's okay.

 ♥♥♥

 Midoriya can't stop thinking about Todoroki.

 It's his fault, he realized on his way to school that morning. It's his fault because he had to go and do something embarrassing like kiss the place Todoroki’s mother poured boiling water on him - and then Todoroki had to smile like that -

 Midoriya groans, lowering his head on his desk. Darn him and...doing whatever it was he was trying to accomplish. If only he wasn't obsessed with helping people - then he wouldn’t have to feel like this!

 “Deku, you've been groaning ever since lunch started.” Uraraka’s voice lulls him up, and she offers him a bright smile. “What's wrong?”

 “Uraraka,” Midoriya groans, and lays his head back on the desk. “Please stop smiling like that. I’m going to go blind.”

 She giggles, sliding the seat from the desk in front of his to sit down. “Not feeling well today, Deku?”

 “It’s not that,” he mutters, and lifts his head to rest his chin on his hand. Uraraka’s looking at him, and he can see the worry glittering in her eyes, and his mind flashes back to how Todoroki’s eyes were gleaming; that thin smile that’s so rare to see...Midoriya closes his eyes. This is a problem, he thinks, and tries to look past Uraraka’s quirked eyebrow.

 “What is it then?”

 “It’s...” Midoriya’s voice wavers - should I tell her? He makes eye contact with her again, and wonders if maybe she's ever felt the same way that he does now. “I, uh...”

 “Deku,” She says, and her expression eases into her quiet, endearing smile that could light up an entire stadium. “You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?”

 It's more than enough for him. “I don't know what's going on,” Midoriya sighs, and it suddenly feels like the room has gotten a lot warmer. He glances around to make sure Todoroki isn't there. “I can't keep my mind off of Todoroki...I don't know why...”

Uraraka’s mouth hangs open. Her expression prickles at his nerves, and he frowns. I guess she wouldn’t know, he thinks, and forces himself to replace his frown with a smile. “It’s really no big deal though, so you don’t need to worry about it, really.”

 “Are you kidding?’ She says, and suddenly, she has such a big, goofy grin on her face that shoots an arrow right through his chest. “This is a big deal! Why didn’t you say anything before?”

 “Wh-what?”

 “Deku!” She leans over his desk, and he backs up in response - he’s never seen Uraraka this excited about something before, and that’s really saying something. He’s not sure how to take it. “What has been going on with you and Todoroki lately?”

 Excellent question, Midoriya thinks, and his mind travels back to that time he had visited him when he was sick, his face red from fever - “It’s a promise,” he had said - his voice barely above a whisper, but still able to make his heart beat a little bit faster, to put a smile on his face. He feels his cheeks warm at the memory, but it only makes his thoughts even more jumbled than before. “I don’t know,” he confesses, and he can’t bear to look at her, because he doesn’t want to see her disappointed. “I really don’t.”

She’s silent for a moment. Her initial burst of excitement has predictably died down, and he stares hard at his desk, seeing the outline of a sketch of All Might he had erased earlier. Don’t Give Up! , he had written under it, and it’s like he can picture All Might right now, giving him his signature smile and thumbs up.

 “Well...” Uraraka starts, and her voice is soft; back to her kind warmth that he has always admired. “I guess it doesn’t matter if anything’s happened...but...do you feel anything for him?”

 Midoriya’s mouth opens, and his chest constricts. “What do you mean?”

She smiles. “You know - when you see him, does your heart beat faster? Or maybe you can feel your face get warm, or there’s a fluttering in your stomach-”

 “Yeah!” Midoriya nearly jumps out of his seat in response, and he nods at her, amazed that she had hit it right on the mark so soon. But soon, his excitement deflates, and he slouches back down. “I don’t know what it means, though.”

 “You don’t -” Uraraka pauses, and her giggles stir insecurity up to his chest. “Oh, Deku. You have a crush on Todoroki!”

 "Wh-what?” Midoriya pales, and his palms start to feel awfully sweaty. “That’s ridiculous - I don’t have a crush on him!”

 “It’s okay, Deku. Really,” Uraraka replies, and she leans in even closer to him. “Besides, he likes you too.”

 This causes Midoriya to sputter - and he tries to quench it, but his face feels as if it were on fire. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he tells her, and she giggles again.

 “Okay, Deku. You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to - even if it is true!”

 “Please-” Midoriya’s voice drops - Todoroki has just walked into the classroom, and their eyes connect almost immediately - and then he looks to his scar, and he remembers how it felt under his fingers, the skin frayed, but also strangely delicate; he thinks of Todoroki’s shy words, wondering why he would want to touch something that he had such disdain for. He’s already blushing, he knows, but then Todoroki just has to send him a tiny smile that sends his heartbeat aflutter, and he does the only thing he can think of to escape the situation - ignores him.

 “What are you doing?” She frets as Midoriya looks away, stiff and robotic, and he tries very hard not to look directly at the confusion that crosses Todoroki’s features.

 “Class is going to start soon,” he changes the subject, and he makes a point of not looking at her, either. After a moment, she sighs and walks away, putting the chair back into it’s proper place, and Midoriya glances at Todoroki, who’s uncharacteristically slumping in his chair.

 I’m so stupid, he thinks, and wonders if perhaps Uraraka was right.

Chapter 2: ii

Summary:

Todoroki and Midoriya sort through their feelings.

Notes:

I'd like to thank my friends for helping and motivating me to get this finished - you know who you are!!

Also jam_jam here on AO3;; Thank you a ton Jamie, you're such an inspiration for me!! Smooches all of you

Midoriya stares at the board, fear and nerves and - daresay - excitement bubbling up in his chest as he processes what’s written.

On duty: Todoroki Shouto and Midoriya Izuku.

He glances over at Todoroki, whose attention is focused wholly on the lesson. His eyes trail up to the clock, and the seconds ebb away slowly.

 

♥♥♥

After their final class ends, Midoriya waits anxiously for everyone to start pile out of the classroom. Uraraka only waves goodbye to him today, but Midoriya does not miss her thumbs up as she exits the room.

“Midoriya,” Todoroki calls out to him, and he stiffens. Todoroki is watching him with a blank stare, not an ounce of empathy written on his face, and Midoriya forces himself to stand up.

Don’t make this weird, Midoriya thinks, and he prays that the day will go by in a flash. He remembers Uraraka’s words from earlier.

It’s okay, Deku. Besides, he likes you too.

Midoriya stares at Todoroki.

He likes you too.

He swallows.

“Midoriya,” Todoroki tilts his head to him. “Are you feeling okay?”

Midoriya makes an intelligent sound from the back of his throat, not clearly registering Todoroki’s words; he nods despite himself.

Todoroki looks at him for a second more before turning his back to him. “I’m taking these to Aizawa-sensei’s office,” he says, and Midoriya forces himself to finally look away, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for losing it earlier 

“Do you need help?” He asks, but he already knows the answer. It was nothing that Todoroki couldn't do by himself. Midoriya curses silently, wishing he were able to act normally around this boy - like he used to be able to.

“I'm fine,” Todoroki replies, just as expected, and he heaves the boxes into his arms, and Midoriya tries hard not to look at the toned muscles that lace his arms. “I'll be back in a moment.”

As Midoriya watches him leave, he thinks about how much easier this would be if he had never let Todoroki kiss him that day. It wasn't his fault, he thinks, and then, but he started it.

“This is stupid,” he says out loud, because it was excruciatingly foolish for him to be acting this way just because he might have a (tiny?) crush on his friend. Of whom he was doing things with that most friends do not. Like kissing, even if it isn't on the lips (Midoriya blushes at the sudden thought), and especially in such an intimate place like his scar. What was I thinking?

It was that look he gave me , he realizes as he's filing papers together to take back to the teacher's office. Outside, two birds sit together on the branch nearest to the window. One of them is chirping and hopping around, and the other is quiet, like it's listening patiently to its friend. Midoriya smiles at the other. “You remind me of someone, you know?” He says, and the tips of his fingers brush against the glass.

“Who are you talking to?”

Midoriya’s head snaps back to Todoroki, who stands in the doorway, humor painting itself over his face, and Midoriya catches how the afternoon light looks like it’s raining around Todoroki’s body; how the whites of his hair glow in a pinkish halo.

“N-no one,” Midoriya stutters, and he drops his hand from the glass, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from him. He hastily gathers the pile of papers into his hands, intent on making it out of the classroom without making a fool of himself.

Of course, he was never so lucky.

On his way out, his leg catches at the foot of a desk, and this time, Uraraka isn't here to save him from hitting the ground face first; the papers fly in all different directions, and Midoriya can almost taste his embarrassment. And it doesn’t taste good.

It tastes even worse when Todoroki rushes to his side. “Are you okay?” He asks, concern weaving through his voice and it pains Midoriya just to hear it. He then makes the mistake of looking Todoroki right in the eyes. Oh no, he thinks, and his heart thumps wildly in his chest. Todoroki isn’t even that close to him, and yet - Midoriya shakes his head wildly. He isn't ready to accept Uraraka’s thesis yet - he needs to sort out his feelings on his own -

“Midoriya,” Todoroki nudges closer to him, and he sputters, having forgotten that he had asked him a question. Now he thinks I’m stupid! He panics, before deciding to swallow his thoughts down, waving his hands in front of him.

“I-I’m fine-”

“You have a paper cut,” Todoroki says simply, and Midoriya pauses and turns his palms towards him.

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t even notice it at all. He wonders if he’s getting used to constant pain. “I’ll just go get a bandaid.”

“Wait,” Todoroki’s voice is awfully compelling, and Midoriya can immediately tell that he’s in trouble. Todoroki reaches out to to take his hand, and he pulls it back quickly. Todoroki freezes, and Midoriya’s eyes widen when he realizes the implications of what he’s done.

“I’m not sure...” He falls into silence. Todoroki tilts his head at him again, and Midoriya wishes he’d stop doing that.

“Midoriya,” Todoroki starts, and his lips curve into a small smile that already has Midoriya by the hand, and it’s leading him back to exactly where they were before. “It’s okay. I want to.”

He remembers when Todoroki was still shy - the way his body would start producing smoke, like it would burst into flames any moment, and Midoriya thinks that if he had a similar quirk, he would be doing the same right now. And he already is coming to take his hand again, and Midoriya reaches out to meet him halfway.

When Todoroki presses his lips to surface of his fingers, he realizes that Uraraka was right about him.

“Oh, Deku,” she had said, her laugh in her voice. “You have a crush on Todoroki!”

He is completely smitten with Todoroki Shouto.

And before he even knows it, Todoroki has already pulled away from him, and is picking up all of the papers that he’s dropped - but Midoriya has a hard time tuning in with anything else besides his heartbeat ringing in his ears and way Todoroki’s lips felt on his skin. He turns his hand over, and looks at his papercut with dazed eyes. He really didn’t notice the pain before, but now it was like he didn’t feel it at all.

“You go ahead and go get your band aid,” Todoroki interrupts his thoughts, and Midoriya remembers that he should get up off of the floor. “I’ll take these.”

“Are you sure?” He asks on reflex - he should stop asking pointless questions.

“Yeah,” Todoroki gives him a stern look and his fingers run down the stack of papers. “I’ll be back. Try not to hurt yourself again.”

Midoriya gives him an awkward laugh, but Todoroki doesn’t really seem to mind it as he exits the classroom for the second time. And he watches him go again, wondering just when he started feeling this way about him, and if Uraraka was right in saying that he liked him too. 

♥♥♥

Light filters in streams through the window blinds, settling itself spontaneously around the room. It's too bright for Midoriya’s liking. He covers his face with the thin sheets that the hospital provides, but it isn't much of a shield.

Midoriya could still feel the enormous pressure exerting against his body - the way it pinned him to the ground, and how he could barely breath - like Stain had set the sky on his shoulders.

The hospital room is quiet. Iida is a silent sleeper, and barely even shifts. He only knows he’s asleep because of his soft, even breathing. Todoroki, on the other hand - he sits up, back against the wall, reading a book as if his arms hadn’t even been impaled by the Hero Killer’s knives.

The fight with Stain was only a few hours ago. Midoriya thinks of blood, and the wicked smile he wore across his lips. How Todoroki had come at just the right moment, saving all of them.

If it weren’t for him, Iida and Native would be dead. And Midoriya wouldn’t have been able to do a thing about it.

You were able to help, he reasons with himself. You protected the both of them with Todoroki at your side.

His breath shakes. But still, the voice from before says, and his chest constricts.

Without another thought, he sits up, turning his head to where Todoroki sat. His eyes are staring intently at the pages of his book, and he is careful to flip pages without making sound.

Midoriya swallows a sigh, and opens his mouth to whisper, “Todoroki?”

Todoroki’s eyes flash up in an instant. They stare at each other for a moment, Midoriya trying hard to find the words he's looking for.

“Thank you,” he manages, but the words pain him more than anything. “For saving me.”

Todoroki just stares at him, and he swallows.

“If you hadn't come,” he continues, and his gaze drops down to his hands, and he curls his fingers into a tight fist, nails scraping hard into his palm. “Everyone would have died.”

Todoroki hums, and he hears him closing his book. “Maybe.”

Maybe.

He closes his eyes, tears of frustration already welling up inside of them. Don't cry, he tells himself, breathing in deeply. Not in front of him.

“However,” Todoroki starts, and he lowers his voice to a whisper, and Midoriya just barely catches it. “If it weren't for you, then I would have died, too.”

His eyes open. Todoroki’s gaze has softened, and there's something reflecting in his eyes that he can't exactly pinpoint. He feels his tears rimming around his eyes, and hastily wipes them away, looking back to his lap.

“I'm weak,” he mutters. “I want to become stronger, so that I can protect everyone.”

“You're already strong,” Todoroki tells him. The way he says it is so simple, as if it were a fact that everyone knew.

He shakes his head. He knows that, he does. But it’s not enough.

“Not strong enough,” His voice raises on instinct, and he glances to Iida, who is still lying asleep in his bed. “Not yet.”

There's a pause, and the atmosphere grows uncomfortable, swallowing their surroundings and making Midoriya’s heart beat a tad faster. He's thinking, he realizes, and moves to lay back down. What could he even say to that? He had only relayed to him facts that he's surely already noticed. Just as Midoriya begins debating whether or not to sleep to escape the awkward situation he caused, Todoroki speaks again.

“You're already so much stronger than when we first started attending Yuuei. It’s evident already that you're going to grow much stronger, Midoriya. Don't lose face.”

If only it were that simple, Midoriya thinks. He has only just learned how to use One for All without tearing himself apart. If he were able to realize how to use it properly long ago, maybe things would’ve turned out differently. Maybe they wouldn’t be stuck in a hospital room, wounded, with the police department having them be silent on the situation.

He thinks of All Might. He would’ve thought he had done the right thing, even if it did end with consequences.

“Give yourself more credit,” he had told him before, and his hands clench back up.

“Todoroki,” he opens his palms, and rubs the sweat that had accumulated there on his pants. “You’re the same, right?”

Todoroki blinks at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean - your Quirk. You’re not completely used to using your flames yet...or, that was the impression I got-” he fumbles over his words, and anxiety begins to bubble up into his chest. Nothing he wanted to say was coming out right at all. “Uh, you haven’t used them very much, right, and it kinda looks like you have trouble controlling them like you do your ice-”

“Midoriya.” Todoroki doesn’t look pleased. Oh no. “You’re right.”

Midoriya gapes. “Oh.”

“I stopped using it years ago. You’re the one who inspired me to use it again.” His face softens, and Midoriya thinks he can see a ghost of a smile over his lips. “Don’t worry about it. We can grow stronger together.”

Together, Midoriya repeats, and the words tingle in his chest. He liked the idea of that.

His eyes feel watery all over again, and he lets out a laugh as he brushes the tears away from his eyes. “Can you,” he sniffs, feeling bravery jolting through his body similar to the feeling of One for All electrifying his skin. “Come here?”

Todoroki’s eyes widen for a moment, and Midoriya almost regrets asking, but the look on the other’s face is startling even for him - he’s never seen Todoroki’s face get so pink so fast. The room feels warmer all of a sudden, and he wonders if it’s because he’s embarrassed too, or because of Todoroki’s Quirk. The latter pulls a smile to his face.

Todoroki’s book is set down on the bed. “Okay.”

As Todoroki pushes himself up, Midoriya glances back over to Iida. They would have to be quiet - if Iida saw them...he didn’t even want to think about how he would react. But there’s a flutter of excitement at the prospect of Iida seeing the two of them sitting together on his bed; of him assuming ridiculous things about them.

He shakes his head. Nothing like that would ever happen between the two of them - even if Midoriya did kind of want it, because he knows that Todoroki does not.

That’s okay, he thinks as Todoroki sits next to him, and he smiles. As long as he’s nearby, then I’ll be fine.

Todoroki doesn’t smile back, but there’s something about his expression that eases Midoriya, and he leans his back against the wall, glancing down to where Todoroki’s hands are on the bed. He feels the urge to grab them, turn them over in his own. He’s curious to know if one hand is colder than the other. There are so many things he wants to know.

“Midoriya?”

His eyes snap back up to Todoroki’s face, and there’s a hint of pink laying over his cheeks - he is blushing himself, too. He fakes a cough, turning his head to look straight in front of him. “Yeah?” Maybe he should just focus on Iida. Anything other than Todoroki.

Todoroki heaves a quiet sigh. “Be more careful next time.”

Despite trying to focus, this brings his attention back to him. “Huh?”

“You’re always going off on your own without a second thought,” he states, his expression becoming steely and an edge entering his tone. “I know you’re trying to help people, but you need to start thinking about yourself.”

He’s caught off guard. He wasn’t expecting something like this to come out of Todoroki; he stutters out a reply, unsure of how to respond. “I’ll try.”

There’s hesitance in Todoroki’s eyes, but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he leans his back on the wall and yawns; Midoriya looks away from him again, the sight enough to tug a smile to his lips.

“If you’re tired, maybe you should go back.”

“No,” he replies. “I’m not that tired.”

Midoriya stares at him. There’s visible wrinkles under the others eyes - to say that he wasn’t tired was clearly a lie - but he just nods, dubious at that, but he can’t really argue with him. He’s tired too, but it’s something he’s been ignoring. His mind was too preoccupied.

Todoroki shifts. His hand barely brushes against Midoriya’s, but it’s enough to send sparks flying up his arm; Todoroki doesn’t seem to notice. Instead, he sighs and moves so that their hands are right next to each other, not touching, but Midoriya can still feel his calloused fingers ghosting over his skin.

“Have you-” Midoriya breathes, eyes still on his own hand. “Have you ever liked anyone before, Todoroki?”

This catches him off guard. His perplexed expression is cute, too. “Why?”

I’m so stupid, Midoriya thinks, and his beats his thoughts down as he decides to laugh, trying to clear away his own tension. “Just wondering - you don’t need to answer if you don’t-”

“Yes.” It comes out as a whisper, but Midoriya hears it loud and clear. His eyes shoot up to Todoroki’s. “I have.”

His nerves bunch up into his chest. “W-who?”

Todoroki looks down. There’s an air of uncertainty and fear surrounding them right now, so thick that Midoriya feels like he could reach out to grab it. It makes him ache, his heart beating slowly and painfully, and he’s entranced by the bright blue and deep brown of his eyes as he looks back to him.

Todoroki leans closer to him, his lips barely parting - Midoriya can feel the faint blow of his breath on his face. He wanted so bad to grab Todoroki’s face, stroke his fingers against his scar, and close the distance between them -

“It’s a secret,” Todoroki whispers, breaking Midoriya abruptly out of his thoughts, and moves back away from him.

Midoriya shoves his disappointment away from him. What were you even thinking? His thoughts fret; he doesn’t respond to them. He already knows.

“That’s not nice, Todoroki,” he manages a smile, and Todoroki responds with his own, sending a wave of sadness to wash through him.

“I’m sorry,” Todoroki replies, and there’s regret in his voice, but also a hint of amusement. It’s a rare occurrence for him, but Midoriya doesn’t have it in him to appreciate it. “How about this. I’ll tell you who once you’re able to beat me.”

“Beat you?” Midoriya repeats, and he gives him a look. “But - it’ll be a year until the next Sports Festival-”

“I know,” Todoroki simpered, looking pleased with himself.

Midoriya gapes at him. The smirk curling his lips made his own lips quirk up, and he could feel his mood lightening. “You’re really not nice.”

“Sorry again,” he replies, and scoots down the bed a little bit - Midoriya thinks he’s getting up to leave, but suddenly there’s a head on his shoulder, red hair blowing softly with each breath he takes.

“W-What are you doing?” Midoriya’s face warms right back up, like someone had just turned an on switch to a furnace.

“I’m tired,” Todoroki says, like this makes perfect sense.

“You said earlier you weren’t.”

”I was lying,” he replied; he turns his head slightly, and - Oh God, Midoriya could feel his nose graze against his neck. “Are you uncomfortable?”

He considers what would happen if he told him he never wanted him to move ever again.

“It’s fine,” he says instead, because he will never get the courage to say something like that. Tentatively, he moves to rest his chin on Todoroki’s hair, and the sigh that he gives makes his heart flutter, and he feels like he’s falling for him all over again, this time without the burden of the confusion with his own feelings: this time, it’s clear as day. “Is this okay?”

Todoroki hums. Midoriya can feel it vibrating on his skin.

He stifles a yawn. Todoroki is warm - It’s because it’s his left side , he realizes, and his eyes begin to quietly droop down.  

♥♥♥

Afterward, Iida finds the two of them on Midoriya’s bed together, asleep. When he berates Midoriya over it, Todoroki just sits quietly, and smiles.

♥♥♥

Todoroki glares at Bakugou. There’s a layer of a irate intent behind the scowl on Bakugou’s face, one that Todoroki has seen all too often - except those had all been directed to Midoriya. There was no reason now for him to be giving him such a look.

But then again, it was Bakugou.

They stand quite a ways off from each other on the field. Bakugou had called out for him, with some pretty choice words that didn’t sit well with Todoroki - something about him being a halfy.

He isn’t patient enough to play this game with him - especially since it’s after school. “Do you need something?’ He inquires, trying to keep his voice smooth, void of any of his irritation.

“Do I need something?!” Bakugou scoffs. Todoroki thinks he can see some spit fly out of his mouth. “Yeah. I need you to fuck off.”

Todoroki hums. Bakugou looks absolutely foolish right now, his hands in his pockets, spitting (literally - Todoroki tried very hard to not smile) what sounded like challenging words to him.

He almost wants to reply with his own. But there was no gain in fighting with someone like him. Instead, he opts to reply with a polite “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m afraid I’m having a hard time understanding.”

Bakugou’s expression hardens. Todoroki thinks of Kirishima’s quirk. It didn’t really help his position, because when Bakugou saw the smirk pulling at his lips, he seemed to get angrier. “You and Deku need to stop fucking around,” He says, and Todoroki’s smile diminishes. “I’m fucking sick of hearing everyone talk about how you two are skirting around each other.”

Todoroki lets out a shaky breath. Keep calm, he reminds himself, biting his lip as he forces his eyes away from Bakugou’s sneer. He was somewhat familiar with the kids from Class 1-A whispering about him and Midoriya, giving them strange glances whenever they so much as looked at each other. But it was definitely none of Bakugou’s concern.

In fact, he doesn’t have any reason to be having this conversation with him. He starts to walk past him, but pauses and turns back - there are words on the tip of his tongue that he hasn’t said yet. “I don’t remember concerning you with me,” he says, and he can see that thick vein popping on Bakugou skull. “Or with Midoriya. Maybe you need to stop prying into his life.” He’s getting angry, Todoroki think s , but his mouth is almost moving on its own. “If you insist on continuing it, learn to respect him. You have no reason to look down on somebody who is your equal.”

Bakugou is nearly shaking, shaking with rage - it was one thing to see him do it in front of Midoriya, being far away, than it is for it to happen right in front of him. “You fucker,” he growls, his voice low, quiet, and Todoroki can feel it teetering on the edge. Bakugou grabs at Todoroki’s shirt, yanking him closer to him - they’re so close that their noses bump against each other’s. Todoroki can see the sweat dripping down his forehead. “Don’t ever talk to me like that, you fucking shit. You’re asking to die!”

Todoroki swallows, grabbing Bakugou’s wrist. “I’m only telling you the truth,” he says, and knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it - he smirks at him, his temperature rapidly decreasing. Frost spreads across Bakugou’s wrist, who scoffs, throwing Todoroki away from him, grabbing his own wrist. His mouth is contorted into a wide, malicious smile.

“You want to fight?” He asks, and his laugh comes out in gasps of air. “I’m going to absolutely crush you!”

Todoroki’s hands curl into fists. He almost smiles back, but there’s something about this that absolutely isn’t funny anymore. “Try me,” he says, feeling stupid again, but he was already too far in to even think about turning back. He turns his head to the side - he sees Uraraka nearby, but she’s gone before he has time to try and step away from the ever-growing violent boy in front of him.

Bakugou’s palms spark, igniting the air around them, and Todoroki’s throat squeezes shut. Bakugou’s aura exerts his presence, a ticking explosive, one whose time changed depending on its circumstances. “You’re going to regret ever looking down on me,” he says, and his voice borders onto being purely animalistic - Todoroki keeps himself from scoffing.  

“That’s not how I see it,” he replies, and the ground grows cold beneath him, frost spreading across the pavement. Bakugou curses and lunges right for Todoroki, but he’s too quick on his feet for him to get to him. Urgency hits him like a bullet, telling Todoroki get away, don’t let him fight you, but he ignores it - there’s something that pushes him to fight back, and put Bakugou in his place.

Why are you making a big deal out of some rumors, he asks himself as Bakugou tries to set him off - Bakugou is just starting a fight. Why did you fuel it?

No, he realizes, not bothering to use his quirk as he attempts to send a punch right at Bakugou’s face. It wasn’t because of that - it was because he was sick of seeing him treat Midoriya like complete trash.

“You think-” There’s another explosion. “That you’re tough shit, huh-”

“Stop!”

Todoroki jumps away from Bakugou, surprise catching him off guard. Midoriya is running towards them, eyes wide and mouth open, Uraraka trailing far behind, her hair bobbing behind her.

“Deku-!” Bakugou’s snarl cuts off with an ‘oof’, and he hits the ground, Midoriya on top of him. Todoroki lunges back, away from the two of them wrestling on the ground.

“Todoroki-kun!” Uraraka stops, breathing hard, but he doesn’t have any mind to respond to her - his eyes are focused on Midoriya’s body, trying desperately to hold Bakugou down, and he’s suddenly moving as well, ignoring Uraraka’s pleas, and forcing Midoriya off of Bakugou.

He’s about to demand an explanation from Midoriya when he turns - his eyes shining, nose red - and there’s a surge of icy guilt that stings Todoroki’s chest. Midoriya sniffs, shifting his sight away from him.

“You asshole,” Bakugou is up now, having refused Uraraka’s help, and his voice cuts right in the middle of the two of them, separating them from the other, and Todoroki wonders what had happened to make Midoriya look at him with such an expression, one so raw, heated, but mostly...mostly sad. Uraraka takes a step closer to Midoriya and Todoroki as Bakugou leers at them. His face twists in rage and annoyance, a look that clearly belonged to Bakugou, and Bakugou alone. “Next time you challenge me I’ll kill you,” he says, wiping the palms of his hands on his pants. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Uraraka makes a small noise that resembles that of a kicked puppy. “No you won’t,” she says, but even Todoroki can tell that she doesn’t truly believe it as Bakugou stalks away from the three of them.

Midoriya swipes his arm across his face, and Todoroki feels the twinge of ice cold regret kick in him again. He’s trying his best to not meet Todoroki’s eyes, and Todoroki wants to grab him, force him to look up to him, ask him what he had done, because his heart was jumping beats, fiercely in his veins, and there’s a dry thought in his mind that this is all his fault.

He tries to talk to him. “Midoriya...” his throat closes on the words he wants to say. He can’t bring himself to speak to the ragged boy in front of him, looking as defeated as he did that time when he had come to save him and the others from the Hero Killer.

“Don’t.” The words are feeble, but they dig right into his open wound, and Todoroki’s mouth closes, a silent breath being exchanged between the two of them.

“I’m going to go find Tsuyu-chan,” Uraraka says, and Todoroki almost wishes he had an excuse to leave, as well. She hesitates before she patters away from them, leaving the Todoroki and Midoriya to stew in their silence.

“What’s wrong with you,” Midoriya’s voice rushes out in a whisper, and frustration thrums in each word, their vibrations hitting Todoroki, soaking into his muscles, making him ache. “Why did you encourage Kacchan like that?” Midoriya looks back up to him, his eyes threatening to leak at any given moment, his balled fists shaking, voice worn like it hurt to speak. It all adds onto Todoroki’s conscious.

“I don’t know,” he says, and he’s not lying, but he feels unfair in saying it. Anger flickers over Midoriya’s face, causing Todoroki to wince, wanting to escape his gaze, his shame, but he can’t urge himself to walk away.

“That’s not good enough,” he says, and Todoroki agrees with him silently. Of course it wasn’t. He can’t even come up with anything to say for himself besides that. “Why would you do that?! You know Kacchan hates me,” Midoriya’s voice falters for a moment, but it’s long enough for Todoroki to feel the repercussions. “Yet-” he swallows, “You said something like that to him...”

“Midoriya-”

“Don’t,” He says again, and he almost takes a step away from him. “Don’t defend yourself! What were you thinking, saying something like that! How do you think that makes me feel?!”

“He needs to know-”

“No he doesn’t,” Midoriya’s voice edges into a growl, and Todoroki can see how hard it is for him to swallow it down, keeping any semblance of his calm demeanor intact. “Kacchan doesn’t need you to tell him that. I don’t want you to say that to him!”

“He treats you like trash!”

“That’s just the way he is!”

Frustration flares into Todoroki’s heart, and he reaches out, snagging Midoriya’s arms, shaking him desperately, as if that could get him to understand what he was trying to tell him. “Izuku!” Midoriya’s words halt in his mouth, and it hangs open for a moment, but Todoroki doesn’t have time to oogle at the way Midoriya’s green orbs widen in surprise. “You’re so much better than him! Why don’t you want me to force him to see it?!”

Midoriya blinks at him before his expression changes once again. He grabs Todoroki’s hands, weakly trying to pull him away from him, and he looks him straight in the eyes. “It’s none of your business. Why are you trying so hard in the first place? I didn’t ask for your help!”

Todoroki’s fingers dig into the fabric of Midoriya’s jacket. “I want to help you,” he says, and he tries, hopes so much for Midoriya to be able to understand. “I don’t want him to treat you like that! I want to protect you!”

“I don’t need your protection!”

The words sting, and Todoroki bites down hard on his tongue, words faltering on his lips. There’s a flash of something in Midoriya’s eyes - regret, maybe - but he doesn’t stand down, nor does he apologize. Of course he doesn’t, Todoroki thinks, he knows - he’s never truly needed Todoroki’s protection except for in the literal sense, and he wonders if that’s what he was truly trying do in the first place.

But none of that matters now, because there’s months of frustration built up in his system, some of it related to Bakugou for treating Midoriya like shit, some at Midoriya for taking it, and a bunch at himself for everything, for fighting with Bakugou, for keeping his emotions bottled up inside of him, for the unsteady waves of admiration that he constantly felt for Midoriya - it all comes crashing down at once, all in the form of tugging Midoriya towards him, and crashing their lips together in some sort of wacky, self-detrimental, but meaningful kiss.

Midoriya is clearly surprised, because he squeaks as soon as their lips touch, but he doesn’t make any attempt at pulling away from Todoroki - instead, his hands move off of Todoroki’s, and he sets them on his chest as if Todoroki were some sort of handsome prince - which he isn’t, but the thought of it is amusing, and he can’t help but smile, hoping Midoriya can’t feel the thundering of his heartbeat.

That’s when he’s pushed away.

Midoriya’s face is cherry-red, lips pink and bright, and his eyes reflect a lot of pain in them. Todoroki lets go of him, the joy that was bubbling up in him ebbing away, leaving him with a strange empty feeling. “I- uh,” Midoriya stutters, and he shuts his mouth quickly, turns on his heel, and runs away, leaving Todoroki by himself.

He watches Midoriya’s figure grow smaller, until he could no longer see the dark tendrils of his hair, or the bright red of his sneakers, and he covers his mouth with his hand, still feeling those sparks dancing across his lips from just seconds ago.

“Stupid,” he mutters, the heavy weight of dejection rising steadily in his chest. 

♥♥♥

A few days have passed since then, and Midoriya hasn’t spoken a word to Todoroki.

They glance at each other sometimes, and Midoriya thinks he can see something in Todoroki’s gaze, but he looks away so quickly that he can never decipher it.

There’s so much he wants to talk about with him. The issue with Bakugou is at the back of his mind - he wants to know more about Todoroki, he wants to know what he’s been doing these past achingly slow days - he wants to know if maybe Todoroki felt the same way he did when they kissed, that never-ending pounding in his ears, how Todoroki’s fingers latched tightly on his jacket coat. Almost like he didn’t want to let him go.

Midoriya taps his pencil against the desk, uttering to himself, trying to distract his mind away from it before it could get any more of an issue. Present Mic’s voice is nothing but a low hum in his ears (interesting, really, considering his quirk), and the English is nothing but gibberish behind his thoughts, and those words that Todoroki had said to him that day.

“I want to help you,” his voice enters his mind, smooth and delicate, nothing like they were actually said to him - he envisions Todoroki’s face, warm and pale, the rough edges of his scar seeming to melt away under his eyes. “I want to protect you!”

Midoriya slams his palm against the table. Todoroki’s image blows away, and in place of it, there’s a class full of students staring at him.

“Midoriya-kun,” Present Mic says, setting his book onto his desk. “Would you like to read the next excerpt?”

His face burns as stutters out a ‘yes’, and he sits down, forcing himself to keep his eyes away from Ochako’s worried glance, and tries extra hard to not think about Todoroki, how his lips felt against his own, powerful and wanting and -

He clears his throat and begins to read. 

♥♥♥

Todoroki, despite its strangeness, thinks that he’s never felt so cold in his life.

He has felt something akin to it before - he recognizes the feeling of loneliness, and sadness - but it’s not exactly correct to call his current state of being either. It was odd. Without Midoriya’s presence in his life, he feels...empty.

There’s a twinge in his chest every time they walk past each other, or whenever their eyes meet, and he wants so badly to just talk to him again, but he knows if he did their last encounter would hang over their heads like a dark, stormy cloud, one that would rumble with the anticipation of their thoughts bursting, and in a flash, it could all be over. Everything that led up to their kiss - their friendship, their camaraderie - just like that.

Midoriya isn’t like that, Todoroki tells himself, the dark tendrils of his hair flashing in his mind, and the spray of freckles across his round, pink cheeks smiled up at him. Midoriya is kind. He forgives everyone, even Bakugou.

And then he remembers his mother. His mother - despite her apologies, despite their reforged relationship - his memories of her are etched onto his face, red and scalding, and nothing he can do will ever make it go away.

Bakugou is still steaming. There’s an aggressive way their eyes connect, like he was trying to send sparks just by looking at him. It’s almost a little amusing. Todoroki thinks it would be even more so if he weren’t one of the causes of his problems.

Sometime’s Uraraka’s eyes will linger on him - he catches her gaze during lunch, and he knows by the way she frowns and fidgets that she wants to say something to him, but she never does. He’s good at ignoring it, but he almost wishes that she would just spill her thoughts to him, because she’s close to Midoriya, and even news of how he’s doing would put his mind at ease.

So he ends up doing it himself. There’s something about the way that her brown eyes widen in relief, the way her lips curl into a bright smile that relaxes him. So this is why her and Midoriya get along so well, he thinks, and it almost brings a smile to his lips. Birds of a feather.

“I’ve been wanting to talk with you, Todoroki-kun,” she says, turning her body to his as they walk, a spring in her step.

“I know,” he says, and she lets out a little squeak, and Todoroki has to bite down on the inside of his cheek. “But you never did, so I came to you.”

“Y-yes, well,” Uraraka pauses, and they both stop, her fingers twiddling together. “I’ve just been...curious...about what happened between you and Deku.”

Her big eyes trail up to his. They’re fierce and strong, and he remembers how she was during the Sports Festival, her match against Bakugou, and how the others had called her fragile, as if she couldn’t bear the weight of responsibility. But he’s seen her fight, and looking at her now, previously being hesitant and unsure, he knows that she’s anything but that.

There’s a layer of warmth in the atmosphere around them, and she nods at him, her hands back down at her sides, and Todoroki thinks that it would be okay to trust her.

He takes a deep breath and tells her everything that had happened. There’s no time for embarrassment - it had been weighing on his mind for so long that it doesn’t matter when he tells her how he had kissed him - in fact, as soon as he does, her eyes begin to glitter, and there’s that wide smile back on her face, one that could put even All Might’s to shame.

“So that’s why he’s so embarrassed when he sees you,” she says, a giggle in her voice. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Todoroki-kun.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll have him talk to you,” she says, ignoring his question and grimace. “Tell him what you told me, okay? It’ll all work out, I promise.” 

♥♥♥

Uraraka had told him to wait outside of the entrance of Yuuei. It’s busy, students leaving the school in groups, as Todoroki waits silently, watching the faces of his fellow classmates walk past him, searching for those familiar dark curls among the masses.

He sees Ochako first. She looks around, hair swinging around her face until she spots him, and she waves at him, relief washing over her features. She pushes Midoriya into his sight - he looks breathless, and tugs his arm away from her.

Their eyes meet. There’s apprehension in the air between them - Midoriya’s eyes are wide and brimming with anxiety, and Todoroki can feel it as well; the fear that they had been trying to steer away from is here, it’s swallowing them whole, and he can’t bring the words that he wants to say out. Even Uraraka is nervous, and she’s swept away from Midoriya, her encouragement not bringing any semblance of relaxation for the boy. Todoroki sees the way Midoriya bunches his fingers into fists, the whites of his knuckles growing clearer by the second.

I need to take hold of the situation, Todoroki decides. I should be the one to apologize to him first.

He opens his mouth. “Mido-”

“Todoroki!” Midoriya interjects, his face pink like he had been holding his breath this entire time, voice rough with strain, and Todoroki’s throat closes on him. “I’m sorry!! I’ve been wanting to talk to you this whole time, but I was - well - I couldn’t!!”

The students around them quiet abruptly, and Todoroki can see them looking their direction, but he doesn’t care; he’s caught in Midoriya’s wave again. After days of not hearing his voice, of him not having words that were meant just for him - his heart aches and swells.

Midoriya notices everyone else as well - he shuts his mouth, squeaking in a similar way that Uraraka had earlier, and his flush travels all the way up to his ears. “Uh - I’ll see you later - bye!”

His mind skids to a halt as Midoriya jogs past him; he finds the words to call back out to him, to stop, wait, he hasn’t even had the time to say what he needs to - but Midoriya is already gone, and the only things left of their exchange are the murmurs from the upperclassmen, who stare at Todoroki with mirth dancing across their features.

He didn’t even get a chance to speak.

A smile tugs at his lips. Just as expected, he thinks, and he ignores the students as they watch him walk away. He runs at his own pace.

♥♥♥

How did it go, reads the message on his cellphone. He had told Uraraka that he doesn’t use it, but she had insisted on exchanging information . “We’re friends now,” she had told him, so naturally, as if this was a normal occurrence. The only other person who had his contact information was Midoriya.

He wonders if she is waiting for a response from him, holding onto her phone tightly, perhaps as anxious as he is.

He stuffs his phone back in his pocket. He can’t tell her that he didn’t even say anything to him.

It was a little...discouraging. Although Midoriya had somehow managed to put the pieces of their friendship back together with just a few words, he didn’t feel satisfied.

It’s the kiss, Todoroki knows, and it feels like his heart has sunk all the way to his feet. He was being too optimistic, thinking - hoping - that maybe he felt the same way about him. You really are stupid. You still don’t know how to interact with people.

A loud growl interrupts his thoughts. There’s a group of cats ganging up on a much smaller one, their backs raised in defense, tails puffed up. The tiny kitten has room to run - but it stays put, crouching down as if it was going to pounce, and there’s something so familiar about the scene that Todoroki stops walking.

Even though you are at a disadvantage, you have the courage to defend yourself.

The kitten hisses - a warning, he recognizes, and it raises its paw, claws out.

Even if you have no chance of winning.

Todoroki takes a step toward the group. It alerts the cats, their ears pricking up, and the kitten takes this chance to swipe it’s paw across the face of one of them.

Even then, you come out on top.

The cats run off. The kitten is still in it’s stance, prepared in case one of them came back to attack it again. Todoroki watches the others bound away, their short legs taking them a great distance before he looks back at the kitten, it’s black fur spiked up, and he crouches onto the ground.

“Hey,” he calls out to it, and it looks back at him with bright, yellow eyes. “You’re a feisty one, aren’t you. Do you belong to anybody?”

The cat blinks at him, and starts to back away.

He sighs. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, and sticks his hand out. “See? Come here.”

Slowly, it sniffs his hand - its nose is damp as it brushes across his skin, and he smiles gently. He tries to scoot closer to it, but the cat rears back, and in a flash, there’s a sharp sting across his cheek, and the soft sound of paws pattering across the ground.

He reaches his hand to feel the scratch that lay across his face. The kitten had nearly gotten his lip - just barely missed it. It isn’t too deep to bleed, but it burns, like it was something more than just a small scratch.

“Midoriya,” he mumbles. Even though you probably don’t want to...

He stands up, and turns around. Midoriya’s apartment was nearby. If he’s quick, he could make it there in about ten minutes.

I do. 

♥♥♥ 

Midoriya lays on his bed, and tries to forget about the way Todoroki stared at him as he yelled his apology - looking at him with those scrutinizing eyes - and though others probably wouldn’t be able to tell, he could - that undeniable hurt that he had caused.

He had apologized, but he doesn’t regret that kiss. And he wished he could voice that to Todoroki, but he couldn’t even think of it without turning into a mess - that kiss that sent him soaring, that was so awkward but perfect -

Midoriya wonders why he never realized his own sexuality until now. He did have somewhat of a crush on Uraraka, with her pink cheeks and bright personality, he tries to think if there were anyone who didn’t at least think that she’s cute. Kacchan, maybe. But he couldn’t see Kacchan calling anyone cute.

“Izuku?” His mother knocks on the door, and he sits up to call her in. She opens the door, a smile stretching her cheeks. “Todoroki-kun has come to visit you.”

“T-Todoroki?” He nearly shouts; he covers his mouth quickly. “Tell him I’m not here!”

“Too late for that,” Todoroki says, appearing besides his mother in the hall, and Midoriya’s heart speeds up dramatically, and he wonders if this is what a heart attack feels like. “Thank you, Midoriya-san.”

“No problem!” His mom laughs, and he’s still sitting on his bed, frozen in shock. “You two have fun.” She walks away, closing the door behind Todoroki.

They stare at each other. Midoriya shakes himself back to attention, and gestures towards his desk chair. “You can sit,”

Todoroki walks over to the bed instead. “Can I sit with you?”

“O-oh. Sure. Okay.”

Todoroki sits; the bed sinks down slightly under his weight, and Midoriya can’t help but look over him - he looks a little dirty, he notices, leaves sticking to his clothes, one sitting noticeably in the red part of his hair.

The last time they sat together on a bed like this, they were both beat up, broken, and found comfort in eachother.

Midoriya bites his lip.

“Why-”

“I-”

Both of them cut off at once, and they glance up to each other with wide, expecting eyes - and Midoriya cracks a smile, something that causes Todoroki to squint at him incredulously.

“What,” he demands, sounding so serious that Midoriya can’t hold back his laughter. “Why are you laughing?”

He covers his smile with his hand, and looks away from him. “Sorry, Todoroki - you just look so funny right now.”

He looks at him with such a straight face that Midoriya has to swallow down his giggles and recollect himself - it was amazing how Todoroki had managed to immediately calm his apprehension, even if he wasn’t completely aware of it himself.

“I need to talk to you,” he says, and Midoriya’s heart sinks. For a moment, it felt like things were back to normal, but with something like that...well, it was obvious that it couldn’t happen. He was just kidding himself. “About before.”

Midoriya nods. He can’t find any words to say, so he decides to wait on Todoroki. He’s concentrated - he can tell by the way he looks at him - like there is nothing else in the world.

He blushes. That sounds a lot sappier than he expected.

“You didn’t give me a chance to say anything before,” Todoroki says, and guilt begins to gnaw on him again.

“I’m-”

“It’s okay,” he cuts him off, a flash of regret sweeping over his features, but he continues. “I’m here now. I needed to apologize to you myself.

“I don’t know why I instigated a fight with Bakugou. He pisses me off...it’s because of how he treats you, and before he...” His voice trails off, and he shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. And I won’t again.”

That can’t be all you want to say, Midoriya looks over Todoroki - he’s stiff, fingers playing with the creases of his pants. There was definitely something else, and Midoriya already knew what it was about. There’s a light buzz over his lips.

“It’s okay,” Midoriya tells him, his breath shaking slightly.

Todoroki’s fingers come to a halt, and he looks back up to him.

“Also...”

“Also,” Midoriya agrees, and he can’t bear to look Todoroki in the eyes.

“I’m sorry about kissing you.”

Midoriya lets out a breath. He can already hear the words tumbling out of Todoroki’s mouth - It was an accident, or I wasn’t thinking - any possible option that he knew he’d go with made his chest freeze over, like Todoroki was using his ice right on him. Maybe that would be a better alternative than listening to his excuses.

“But,” Todoroki speaks up again, and Midoriya’s eyes squeeze shut. You better not cry in front of him, he tells himself, but he can already feel his eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t regret it.”

His eyes open.

Todoroki is looking right at him, lips open the slightest bit, and he’s so stupid, because his own mouth hangs open like a fish, and he’s trying to ask Todoroki if he heard him correctly, but he ends up just sputtering random sounds instead - and the worst of it all is that Todoroki starts to laugh.

“T-Todoroki,” he manages, his heart racing - what did he even mean, he couldn’t ever understand Todoroki when he spoke like that - “Don’t laugh! What is that supposed to mean!”

Todoroki covers his mouth with a hand, but he can still see the way the skin around his eyes crinkle.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and it does sound genuine - Midoriya frowns, and he hopes Todoroki can’t see how red his eyes are. “It means...ah,” he moves his hand back to his side, and he isn’t smiling anymore. “If I had the chance, I would do it again.”

He’s sitting there, expression serious and warm, with leaves in his hair and stuck to his pants, and his chest clenches tightly, and the tears start coming down without much warning. Todoroki jolts, and he’s immediately right in front of him, his hands on his shoulders.

“Oh God,” he says, and he shakes him slightly. Midoriya tries to laugh, but it comes out sounding more like a gurgle than anything else. “I shouldn’t have said that so suddenly, I’m sorry-”

Midoriya wipes his eyes, “No,” he sniffs, and he reaches up to pick the stray leaf out of his hair. Todoroki’s eyes widen, flush crawling up to his cheeks, and he shows the leaf to Todoroki, a crooked smile stretching his lips. “We’re both stupid, aren’t we?”

Todoroki runs a hand through his hair, like he’s looking for other debris that could’ve gotten stuck there. His expression is priceless - he looks so dumbfounded that Midoriya almost can’t believe he had elicited it himself. “What are you saying,” he asks, just as he’s wiping away the last of his tears.

He picks off the rest of the foliage from his clothes, a laugh on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out at any second. Reaching his arms out, he pulls Todoroki’s body to his, arms wrapped around the back of his neck - he smells somewhat like roasted chestnuts, he realizes, and bites back the tears before they come springing back out again. “I like you too, stupid,” he whispers, and like this, he can imagine Todoroki’s heartbeat speeding up and matching his own.

“Oh,” is all Todoroki has to say, but soon he moves his arms around his waist, pulling Midoriya closer to his own body. He feels so good against his body, and he’s been wanting this for so long, to just be able to clear the air between them and to be able to be this close to him - and he’s finally gotten to do both, and in the same day. His heart is racing all over again just thinking about it.

Todoroki is taller than him, always has been, so when he leans back, his scarred face in his hands, he has to look up at him, and that’s when he notices the thin, red line across his cheek.

“Where did you...?”

“A cat,” Todoroki answers in a breath, like he’s waiting for something to happen.

“Oh,” he whispers back, turning his face to get a better look at it. “It’s not that bad.”

He doesn’t reply. There’s a curtain between the two of them, one transparent enough to see on the other side, but they hadn’t yet pulled it back.

Todoroki is waiting for it to happen.

Midoriya’s fingers brush over the skin right under the scratch. “I guess I better do something to help.”

“Maybe,” Todoroki answers, and there’s that small cute smile again, the one he’s been missing. He smiles back at him as he rests his palm back against his cheek. He tugs his face down closer his, and Todoroki sucks in a sharp breath as Midoriya’s lips connect to the spot where the thin wound lies, right at the corner of Todoroki’s own lips.

It’s almost like it was back then, when he kissed the top of Todoroki’s scar - same setting, same feeling, except now they are both aware of themselves.

When he pulls back, there’s something swirling in Todoroki’s eyes, and he feels his chest clench back up again as Todoroki leans forward again, and rips that damned curtain right off its rod, throws it to the wind, and presses their lips together, accidentally clashing teeth, but neither of them really care, because Todoroki’s hands are in his hair, and Midoriya can feel the sharp outline of his jaw under his thumbs.

But it only lasts a moment, because Todoroki is suddenly reeling back, the smell of smoke is hot in his nose, and there’s a curse on the edge of lips as Todoroki calms the flames that sputtered to life on his shoulder.

“Damn it, I’m so sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen,” Todoroki says, his face bright red; Midoriya thinks his is a similar shade as well.

“It’s okay, we can try again,” he tells him, and Todoroki bends backwards as he tries to come closer to him, to shorten the distance between their lips.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Todoroki-” Midoriya stops, and grabs his hands. “Shouto. You won’t hurt me.”

Todoroki’s eyes widen - for the first time, he thinks he sees something well up in that bright, blue eye - but once he blinks, it’s gone.

“Okay,” he says, and his fingers find the spaces in between his own, and he breaths out. “Izuku.”

He breaks into a wide smile, and both of them meet in the middle, and it’s exhilarating - Midoriya’s breath is immediately taken away, but he holds into Todoroki for as long as he can. He holds back his own smile as he feels Todoroki’s body temperature fluctuate, one side nearly smoking, and the other rapidly getting cooler - he doesn’t care, even if it is uncomfortable, because it’s Todoroki Shouto and he’s been waiting so long to just hold him, talk to him, kiss him.

Todoroki shifts, pulling his hands away from Midoriya’s, and moves them to his neck - Midoriya shivers, not used to having people touch him there, and Todoroki’s lips are soon off of his own, and instead on his cheeks, nose, forehead -

“What are you doing,” He asks, trying to pull away from him to look him in the eye, but Todoroki doesn’t want to have it.

His nose presses into the hollow of his cheek. “Counting your freckles,” he says, and Midoriya takes this chance to run his fingers through Todoroki’s hair, pushing the red strands back.

“Oh,” he says, trying his best to sound calm, but in fact his heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest - “There’s more,” he adds, biting his lip, and Todoroki moves back to look at him, his left side smoking, the right collecting bits of frost.

“I know,” He replies, and it sounds like a promise.

Notes:

Thank God that's finally over. If I had to look at the document for another week I'd die.

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Notes:

Editor's note: this made me super mega deluxe gay

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