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It's dark outside Cybertron like always. Rodimus Prime, the recent bearer of the Matrix, is in his old quarters curled up and sobbing silently on the cold metal floor. His chassis opened wide to reveal the matrix hidden inside. He wants to remove it and he can but paranoia settles in and he knows it isn't safe to remove the Matrix within these metal walls. Someone could be watching or listening. So Rodimus never removed it nor did he bother. He's just laying on the floor sobbing. Everything happened so quickly. First, Prime was dead then he got revived again but the Quintessons did something to him and then he died again but this time for good. Rodimus knows that it's for the best and Optimus Prime can finally rest but it still hurts so much to watch him leave.
Rodimus always saw Optimus as a father figure. Someone that he could talk to and geek about. He remembers those days when he and Optimus would hang around at night on Earth. He would talk about the endless stars that fill the entire galaxy while Optimus listens with a smile. Optimus would also share some stories in return. They would eat some energon sweets and laugh throughout the night. Rodimus could remember how Optimus would inspire others when things got tough. Oh, how inspiring Optimus was and Rodimus can never be like him. Rodimus is nothing like Optimus who is very optimistic, inspiring, strong, selfless, and so much more appreciated by the others. Meanwhile, Rodimus is impulsive, reckless, stubborn, and not really appreciated by the others. His decisions are causing more Autobots to suffer. The complete opposite of a worthy prime. He doesn't know why he was chosen in the first place. There are many bots out there who could be a better leader or prime than him like Ultra Magnus. Ultra Magnus knows a lot about politics and leadership. He is disciplined, responsible, and more. A perfect prime and leader for the Autobots. So why didn't Ultra Magnus become prime? Why wasn't he chosen? Instead, Hot Rod was chosen but why?
Why?
Why?
WHY?!
Rodimus will never know nor understand. He starts to sob even harder as he claws at the wires in his chassis. He wants to rip them. Tear and rip them apart from his shaking frame until he doesn't feel anything anymore. He wants to remove the Matrix and stay as Hot Rod but he can't do that. He can't run away or hide from his responsibilities this time. Oh, Optimus would be very disappointed at him and that thought alone made everything that Rodimus did seem so pointless. Rodimus lays on his back and stares at the metal ceiling of this silent room. Maybe he is just a moron like Springer would say. An idiot. A useless and selfish mech. He immediately sat up and closed his chassis, then he stood up and walked towards one of the old drawers. He starts to open one of them and rummage inside searching for something. Where is it? He thought to himself. He was starting to get frustrated until he felt something cold under his servos. There it is, a sharp and thin piece of metal. Rodimus stares at the metal that he's gripping on his right servo. Some small cuts won't hurt, right? No one would notice it. Afterall, they are just scratches. No big deal. So Rodimus sat down again and brought the small metal towards his left servo but then he started having second thoughts about this that his other servo started shaking. No one would care. It's just some scratches. He closed his optics and did it swiftly and quickly. Energon flowed out and dripped down to the metal ground. Plop drip plop… Just a few more. He continued to do so until it wasn't enough for him. Rodimus throws the blade at the wall with a clank then he starts to hyperventilate. He wraps his servos around his neck cables with a tight grip. “First Prime, then Ultra Magnus, now you. It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I might have a sense of satisfaction now.” Galvatron's words echoed through his processor. No one would notice that thought just makes his grip tighter. It's true, no one came to stop or even find him. It's like he never really existed in the first place. However, someone did come and notice. Rodimus didn't process or notice that someone came into his room. He barely heard the sounds of pedes coming towards him or even the grip of servos around his wrists. He starts to struggle and squirm. Rodimus tries to kick and frail. He wants to escape. He wants to run. Rodimus wasn't in his right processor and couldn't focus on anything until his old name was called. “Hot Rod!” A variety of voices shouted loudly. When Rodimus heard his old name, he stopped struggling. The name felt so wrong to be blurted out yet..it felt so right to hear. He starts to calm a bit then he looks around slightly confused. Now, he noticed who was in the room with him. Springer, his former roommate and best friend. Arcee, his best friend and sister figure. And lastly, Kup, his mentor. They looked at Rodimus with different emotions that Rodimus couldn't decipher all at once. Springer looks mad, maybe at him or at himself. He also looks very concerned as he stares at Rodimus with tears on the sides of his optics. Arcee looks really worried and she's crying. Oh, she's crying. She's crying because of him. Great, now he made Arcee cry. What a pathetic prime. Meanwhile, Kup is gripping Rodimus's wrists to prevent him from gripping his neck cables again. Rodimus’s left wrist continues to bleed. He barely felt the pain coming from it. Kup looks at Rodimus with disbelief and concern but he also looks furious just like Springer. “What are you doing, lad?!” Kup asked with anger and stress in his firm tone. Rodimus flinched, then he looked away in shame. He looks so pathetic right now. Crying and flinching away like a little sparkling. He can't even face his comrades, his friends,...his family. What a weakling. “Now, that's just bullsh-” Springer was about to comment but Arcee hit his arm. “Not the place or time.” Arcee said sternly even though her voice wavered a bit because of her small hiccups. Arcee looks at Rodimus and gently cups his cheek with one servo as she makes him look at them. Kup keeps his firm grip on Rodimus's wrists but it isn't tight as before. Rodimus just gives a small glance before averting his optics away from them. Arcee frowns then she said softly, “you are not a weakling, Rodimus.” Rodimus just made a small sound of disagreement and slight surprise. How did they know what he was thinking? Maybe his thoughts are loud. Loud enough for them to sense it. Kup sighs then he asks sternly, “lad, what's going on? You've been acting strange since that day Optimus died. Now, this happens…?” Springer nods in agreement and adds in frustration, “you've been quiet lately and avoiding meals. And this is what you're thinking about doing? Why didn't you talk to us?” Springer looks like he's about to cry but he stays strong. Rodimus stays silent as he continues to look away. He felt awful and guilty because now, he made his friends worried and frustrated because of him. He's causing this. This is all his fault. He's a burden. A burden. A useless, weak, stupid, good for nothing, reckless, pathetic, and selfish mur- Before that thought continues, Rodimus was immediately hugged by his friends. He stayed completely still as he tried to process what was happening. They held onto him tightly squeezing all of their affection and comfort into the embrace. Rodimus hasn't felt this kind of warmth in a very long time. He misses this warmth. The warmth that made him feel safe. The warmth that made him feel loved overwhelms his systems. Rodimus felt small once more and he cried as he tried to cling onto his friends’ warmth. Arcee hums a soothing tune to calm Rodimus while Springer pats him on the back. Kup managed to find some medic supplies for Rodimus's bleeding wrist so he started patching him up.
After several hours passed, Rodimus managed to relax but he was still slightly shaking. Arcee cuddles him while caressing his helm gently. Meanwhile, Springer stays beside Rodimus watching over him. Kup just watches the three from a nearby wall with his arms crossed. Rodimus feels safe but he could sense the tension in the air and he knows the others can sense it too. The awkward yet tranquil silence fills the room. Rodimus also knows that he has to explain everything that's happened but when he was about to, Kup raised his servo and said gruffly but his tone has some softness in it, “you don't have to explain everything now. Just rest. We can discuss this later after you get better.” Arcee nods and adds as she continues caressing his helm, “Kup is right. You need rest after that emotional downpour.” Springer pats Rodimus's arm gently which was quite out of character for him to do. “We'll be here when you wake up.” He reassured him gently. Rodimus just hummed in response as he felt exhaustion creep in. For the first time since Hot Rod became Prime, Rodimus finally felt safe and loved even in his recharge.