Demon’s Prodigy

by athenaistired

Summary:

Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge long ago had one more sibling — her name used to be Xiao Shi. A little girl who was sold at the age of five, forcefully separated from them, never to be seen again for the next eight years.

Xiao Jiu almost couldn’t believe it. There she was. Taller, older.. And alive. Standing in the dining hall of the Qiu Manor as an honored guest. An infamous disciple of Wu Yanzi — prodigy of demonic cultivation — Wu Yuan.

The look in her eyes was haunting.

“Gege, is that you?”

Chapter 1: Call this one ‘Shizun’

Summary:

Wu Yanzi studied her for a long time, “Shizun.” He eventually grunted out.

“H-huh?” Yuan blinked, not understanding what the man was talking about. Had he hit his head? Should she try to find a healer—?

“Call this one Shizun, Yuan.”

Notes:

Hi, guys! Thank you for choosing to read this fic! I will say straight away that this fic is very dark and heavy. Please, check all warnings and tags. Each chapter will also have individual content warnings in the beginning notes which might include spoilers. I’d rather be safe than sorry though.

 

Things to note:

• Shen Yuan is a !! girl !! in this fic. I understand that in canon he is a boy, but this is a self-indulgent genderbent fic. Don’t like it, then please don’t read it! I just like writing about emotionally-complicated women SUE ME.

• This fic took a lot, A LOT, of research, but I do not claim to be an expert at cultivation, xianxia novels, etc. I pieced things in this fic based from long internet dives and by reading SVSSS, MDZS, and TGCF. I did my best. Please keep in mind that all of this is fiction, so it is honestly.. Not that deep! Fics are just for fun, after all.

• I do not speak Chinese, and English is my third language. So, if you see any mistakes or typos, then please let me know about them! I also do not have a beta, and I am terrible at double-reading. But be nice! Thanks!

• Heavy themes like: child abuse, slavery, misogyny, torture, demonic rituals/experimentation, PTSD, suicide attempts, self-harm, murder, depression, trauma, unsteady recovery, animal abuse/murder, mentioned/threatened SA, mentioned child r@pe (with Shen Jiu at the Qius), unstable/abusive parental dynamic (with Wu Yanzi and Shen Yuan) and more are discussed in detail in this fic. If you are at any point triggered or upset by the content, please stop reading. You’re responsible for the media you consume. Please, take care of yourself and your mental health.

Well.. Let’s get going!

“Let her go! Don’t take her away! Let her go — LET HER GO! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!”

Xiao Shi sobbed like there was no tomorrow. Because for her, there really wasn’t. If these men were going to take her, then her life would be over. She might be small, she might be fragile, she might be weak and pathetic. But stupid? She was never stupid.

Her, Jiu-ge, and Qi-ge have been on the streets for as long as she could remember. At first, she wasn’t even sure if she was actually blood-related to either of her brothers, but one time when they were washing up in the river, she peered down at her face through the reflection in the water. She was an uncanny copy of her Jiu-ge. There was no doubt. Qi-ge on the other hand.. Was a different story. His nose was longer, skin a few shades darker, and unlike Jiu-ge’s androgynous look, Qi-ge with each passing year grew further into being a handsome, masculine youth. But that did not matter. They were her brothers, her only family, so the blood relations were the last thing on her mind. 

The slavers didn’t bother giving them names. Her gege was also known as Jiu — nine. Her Qi-ge was seven. She was Xiao Shi — ten. There were other children, there used to be so many, but with each passing month there were less and less who would manage to make it through the winter. Some died because of illness, some would succumb to hunger, some would shiver under thin blankets until only rotting flesh remained. Their bodies were often dragged away by the local cannibals (It was a tough year. The sun had been viscous, the rains have been rare, the beasts have destroyed many crops, and the common people were starving). The worst part was seeing how strangers would pass by, not even sparing a single copper to the living, or a pitying glance to the dead. She had seen one especially cruel man kick the body of San-jie with his foot and laugh as if the previously breathing girl was nothing but a ragdoll to roll around in the dirt. 

“Jiu-ge, do you think we will ever be able to run away?” She had asked her brother one night.

They had managed to steal a warm blanket from one of the market stalls without getting caught. Now, curled up in a dark alleyway, she rested her head on his lap, as he traced his long, slim fingers through her locks. Jiu-ge stared down at her with a long, complicated look. For someone so small, he always carried a grace of a much older man. 

“One day. One day we will, meimei.” He didn’t say it, but she knew that it was a promise. She smiled to herself, already imagining what it would be like to have a roof over their heads, to have clothes without holes, to have shoes on their feet, to have food in their tummies. The day she’ll have money — she was going to eat so much, until she’d puke! She couldn’t wait!

“If we run away, who would you want to be as a grown-up?”

She grinned while sitting up, “Isn’t it obvious?” Her brother cocked up a brow, “A cultivator, of course!”

“A cultivator, huh?” He chuckled, and then pushed her back down into a lying position with a yelp, “Then we’ll have to hurry up. Or it’ll be too late.”

“Why?” Xiao Shi asked. Jiu-ge and Qi-ge knew a lot more about cultivation than she did. She had even seen them practice once! Jiu-ge could lift leaves off the ground with a flicker of his finger! Awesome! So cool! She couldn’t wait to learn tricks too! 

“Well, I heard that they accept disciples around the age of ten. Apparently, it is the best age to cultivate a Golden Core.” He explained, and the girl hummed to herself. Then, she suddenly shot up, almost hitting her brother in the jaw with her forehead, “Careful!” He hissed.

“Jiu-ge!” She gasped.

“What?!”

“If we’re going to be cultivators, then our names are no good! We can’t just be called numbers!” She puffed out, “But then.. I don’t know how to come up with a good name..” She felt a knot twist in her stomach.

Her brother observed her for a long time, until he reached to the side to pick up a small stick. Then, silently, he began to write down a character. She suspected that Jiu-ge knew how to write a few, but she had never imagined for him to be this fluent! Surprised, she stared down as he scribbled one line after another. Each stroke was at a perfect angle without a single shake. 

“Yuan.” He explained, “Your name will be Yuan. This character means vow and aspiration. It is a good name for a future cultivator.” The girl felt sparkles flash in her eyes. Slowly, she leaned down and traced each line with her finger, trying to memorize the shape and form of her new name. A name! Jiu-ge gave her a name! “But don’t tell the slave traders, okay, meimei?”

“Okay!” She nodded, “Jiu-ge, I don’t know how to name you.” Xiao Shi admitted with her head bowed down in shame. However, before her brother could even get a word out, she once again jumped up to her feet, “Don’t worry, don’t worry! I know! I have an idea! I’ll find out, just you wait.”

Not even a couple of days later, Xiao Shi — No, Yuan! — plopped down next to her brother and picked up the same stick to scribble down a character. Jiu-ge watched her with a critical eye, until finally her scribbles began to resemble.. Something. Neither were quite certain what it was supposed to be. Well, she tried, okay?! Not everyone could be as majestic as Jiu-ge! Definitely not her! 

“This is your name now! It says ‘Jiu’, but the character means black jade!” She grinned, and her brother stared at her with an astounded expression.

“How did you even..” He didn’t even know where to begin. 

“Secret, secret!” She shushed him, “But now — we have names! And one day, we’ll get courtesy names too!” She was even more excited for those! She didn’t understand exactly the logistics behind needing a name on top of a name (she was glad to have a name that wasn’t a number to begin with!), but it was cool! She had seen a couple of cultivators in her life, and they always looked so alluring! Their robes always fluttered — even when there wasn’t any wind! — their faces were as smooth as porcelain, and the swords on their hips were shiny and sharp! She couldn’t wait!

 

Of course. Those were just dreams.

And all dreams must come to an end.

Hers, much sooner than she thought.

 

“That one.” A man had said, after he eyed Yuan from up to bottom. 

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep without either of her brothers around to keep watch, but recently, she had been tasked with begging for food and money from morning until evening because Jiu-ge and Qi-ge had work to do, and she had been so tired.. Dozing off by herself? On the streets? As a girl? Terrible, amateur mistake.

The man didn’t even wait for her to say anything. The slave trader smirked, as he grabbed at her hair and pulled her up. The girl hissed, but held back her tears. Jiu-ge had taught her to be strong, to never show weakness. Because big, powerful men would only feel amused at the display. Never let them see you cry, meimei. Bite, scratch, and hiss, but never cry. 

“How old are you?” The man asked, and Yuan glared at him. She wasn’t a dumb-dumb. She wasn’t going to speak. Maybe he’d leave her alone— 

A hard slap had spun her head until she was left dizzy. She hadn’t even noticed his hand raise. All she felt was the ringing in her ears and the spreading numbness on her cheek. That hurt. That hurt so much. She was so scared. Where was Jiu-ge? Where was Qi-ge? Anxiously, she looked around, but the crowd of people ignored what was happening. The other slave children only watched from the sidelines with round eyes. She had to do something! But what could she do? What could she do?! 

“Ah, please, not her face.” The slave trader begged, “Otherwise, you’ll have to pay the damage fee.”

“Hmph.” The other man rolled his eyes, “Her age?”

“Five or six. Something like that.” The slave trader explained, and Yuan felt a shudder at the way the older man had nodded in approval. Why? Why did he need her age? What was going on?

“Can she write or read?” The man asked more, but the slave trader sighed.

“No, xiansheng. Her older brother might. Would you like me to fetch him instead?” Yuan felt her blood go cold at the considering look which flashed through the man’s face. If her brother was going to be bought instead of her.. No. She couldn’t let this happen! If someone was going to be taken today — it wouldn’t be either of her brothers! She had to protect them!

Jiu-ge was brilliant. They have never known warmth or comfort, but her Jiu-ge somehow always managed to make her feel at home no matter the situation. He taught himself basic characters, he taught her how to do simple addition (she struggled with subtractions though), and how channel her qi through her meridians. She was not a genius — she was nothing like her Jiu-ge who had a mind of a scholar, a memory of a prodigy, a talent of an esteemed young master. He was destined for a great future. The potential was practically brimming out of him! She could see it in his calculating mind, in his quick and adaptive nature. Ah. One day, he was going to become a great cultivator. Perhaps, an immortal master. Maybe, he would even ascend! She could see it so clearly. Her brother, tall and healthy, dressed in those fancy silk robes that rich people wore, with straight posture and confident step.  

And he wouldn’t be alone. Qi-ge would be right there with him, just like he always was. Jiu-ge and Qi-ge might be complete opposites, but Yuan had always felt like they balanced each other out on a perfect scale. Where one was a fierce force, the other was an unmovable wall. One knew how to protect, and the other did not hesitate to attack. Qi-ge with his heart full of gold and kindness. His bedtime stories that raised Yuan since she was a babe, giving her little mind the means to dream. She would forever be grateful to her amazing brothers for the childhood they had given her thus far. 

They were both strong. 

They’ll be okay without her. 

“I can read and write! I can even do maths!” She shouted, and that caught the attention of both men. They glared at her, as if trying to see a lie, but her face didn’t budge.

“So, little slave can speak after all.” The man tsked, and then looked up at the slave trader with a nod. A silent agreement seemed to have passed through them, and she watched them exchange coin, as if she was nothing but a sack of rice, “Do you have a name, little slave?” She debated on what to tell him as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“They don’t have names. We call them by number. This one is shi.” The slave trader spoke up, but that was the moment that Yuan had a sudden rush of emotion pass through her. If she was going to be sold, at least, she deserved to be called by a real name.

“Yuan.” She waited to be struck for interrupting, but neither of the men moved. The one who bought her watched her with a curious look, “This one is Yuan.”

“Don’t mind her, she’s—“ The slave trader seemed shocked at her boldness, but before he could say any more, the man raised his palm; requesting silence.

“Yuan it is.” The man nodded, not questioning the lack of family name. What family name? Of course she didn’t have any. She was a slave. She was a nobody. She was abandoned. Sold by her parents, as Jiu-ge had told her a long time ago. She didn’t remember them, but he did, and he never had nice things to say, “Follow.”

The man tugged at the rope, and her body weakly stumbled forward. The knot around her neck made it hard to breathe, so she made sure not to fall far behind. Her feet — almost shredded to meat — ground against the soil making her eyes grow wet. But she was a strong girl. She wasn’t going to cry. Even though she was shaking on the inside. For all she knew, she could be headed towards fate worse than death. She didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to her Jiu-ge and Qi-ge.

Sadly, just as she thought about them—

“Let her go! Don’t take her away! Let her go — LET HER GO! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!”

She turned around, and instantly wheezed as the rope pulled her forwards. For a moment, it blocked her airway and made her choke, but the man actually had the heart to stop and let her look back for a few moments. Her Jiu-ge was fighting with the slave trader, screaming for her to come back, that he’ll go instead, that he can’t lose her. Qi-ge was nowhere to be seen. Ah, she really wanted to see Qi-ge one last time. Where was he? Why wasn’t he here too? 

There were so many things she wanted to tell her brothers, but she wouldn’t dare. If any of the adults would hear about their dreams, they would do anything in their power to make sure that they’ll never come true. 

“MEIMEI!” Her brother’s scream pierced through her soul. Be strong, her mind whispered back at her, and she gathered all strength in herself to force on a small smile. 

“This meimei will be okay, gege.” She spoke, and something seemed to have cracked in her brother’s heart. In an instant, he froze up and stared. Stared through her, stared at her, stared at nothing and everything. His eyes dulled; hopeless, “I love you, gege. Be safe.” Before she could say any more, the rope was pulled again. Her new owner had run out of patience, and gestured that it was time to leave.

And so, she looked away.

 

 

 

The man who bought her was a strange person. Very strange person. His name was Ye Zihan, and about a month into her stay at his manor she found out a couple of things. First of all, he didn’t have any wives, lovers or concubines. At first, she had feared that it meant she was purchased to be one, but no. The man had no such intentions towards her (or anyone, really). Second, he also had no children, and the place barely had any servants. Those servants that he did have, however, were not slaves like her. They all had generous pay, and actually favored their master. They served him willingly and followed loyally.

Which was why they never protested with the way their master was treating her.

Honestly, Yuan did not understand her role in the manor. She had jobs, but she didn’t understand why she was needed to do them when Ye Zihan could ask literally anyone else. She didn’t have her own room, only a small blanket in the kitchen storage. She got up early in the morning, got dressed, and waited until the cooks would give her a tray of yesterday’s leftovers. Then, she would carry Ye Zihan’s breakfast to his bedroom, and would sit. Silently. Simply watching him eat. Afterwards, the routine would crack into two paths. Every fifth day, the man would sit down and give her material to learn. He had quickly caught onto her lie about being able to read and write, and she endured a good beating for it, but after they have moved past the fact, Ye Zihan tasked a few maids with teaching Yuan the basics. The rest, she had to suck up and pick up on her own.

“Ow!” She cried out, unable to hold back the sound, “This lowly one is sorry. Please, forgive this one. She’ll do it again.”

“And she’ll do it better. Do not anger me.” The man threatened. His eyes trailed across her shaky hands as she copied down the characters anew. Ye Zihan was a freak perfectionist, and he wanted her to be ideal. He didn’t allow a single shake on a line, even if the girl’s palms were beaten black and blue. Even if she was certain that some of her fingers were broken. Even if she couldn’t feel her fingertips anymore. She sucked it all up, and continued to write, until her master would eventually bore of it and let her go.

Ye Zihan was not always evil. Was not always cruel. It confused her. Sometimes, he would not make her do anything. He would simply chat with her, as if she were his daughter, and tell her stories of his life. Through these stories, she found out that he was a demonic cultivator, but due to a ‘misunderstanding’ (according to him), he had been disowned by his Shizun many years ago. Although, Ye Zihan didn’t seem too bothered by the fact. Of course, she was curious to ask more, but she never pushed. She never got too comfortable, and she always knew to mind her place. Because some days were decent. But some days, her master was the most terrifying monster on earth.

She had quickly realized that the fluctuations in Ye Zihan’s mood were due to his cultivation path, and because she was the easiest target to lash out on, she got the shorter end of the stick. Still, it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. It always hurt. So much. Each time felt like a personal betrayal. The moment she would feel like they were getting closer, like she was getting better at writing, like she was getting faster at reading, like she was getting more skilled with manipulating her qi — her master would have a bad day and crush her soul to dust. 

“USELESS, TALENTLESS WASTE!” He shouted, as his foot dug deep into her ribs. She was sure that at least two of them were cracked, but thankfully, none had punctured a lung, “WHEN WILL YOU LEARN ALREADY?! HOW SLOW COULD ONE BE?!” She felt him lean closer in, and she shuddered at the lack of space between them. His face was mere inches away from hers.

“T-this one i-is sorry! T-this lowly one w-will do b-better!” Ye Zihan hated that line. Because she always said it. She never knew how else to apologize. But each time, she meant it more and more than the last. She felt herself shrink, like she was nothing. She had never felt this small.

She missed her brothers. She missed their hugs. She missed their soft hands.

She was so alone now.

Painfully alone.

“Shut up!” Ye Zihan snapped, and she cried out as he slapped her across her face. Slaps from her master sometimes could be worse than punches. Once, he had even managed to break her jaw, “Again!” She blinked up at him, feeling lost for a moment. What? What again? Yuan tried her hardest to remember what they were doing to begin with, but she was taking too long, “GET THE FUCK UP!”

“M-master!” This time she did cry. As pathetic as it felt, the tears streamed down her cheeks as she was forced up onto her shaking legs. She wasn’t as skinny anymore, but being in the manor had colored her skin like canvas in black and blue. She had lost all the muscles. Mere few years ago, she could have snatched a bread bun from a stupid young master and run away before anyone would even have a chance to blink. She was always the best at stealing due to her unmatched speed. Now? She only walked. When she slept, she did so on the side as her lower spine would ache from the thinning of her bones. To get up the stairs, sometimes she had to crawl on all fours. Like an animal.

“I said — AGAIN!” Ye Zihan screamed at her, and Yuan knew that if she was not going to figure out what was needed of her as quickly as possible, then the man might kill her tonight. With a broken sob, she looked around, and her eyes landed on the ceramic jar set up at the work desk. In an instant, she remembered. Her task had been to send a blast of qi to knock it down.

“B-but.. Master..” She tried, and was instantly slapped again on the opposite cheek. Blood began to pool in her mouth. Arguing was useless, so, with a hiccup she raised her right palm and concentrated on the flow through her veins. She imagined the energy pulsing through her — damaged, abused — meridians, as it gathered at the centre of her palm. It burned, itched, hurt! But she had no choice. Her master was rushing her cultivation, maybe he wanted to cripple her on purpose. Maybe, he was using her as a part of an experiment. Maybe, maybe, maybe. She’ll never know. It wasn’t like she could ask. 

Slaves didn’t ask questions.

They just did as they were told.

And so, Yuan bit down on her bottom lip and snapped her qi forwards. The energy rushed out of her, rolled through her gut, into her elbow, down to her wrist — until it ripped out of her limb as a foreign force. It hurt so bad that she screamed, and fell down to her knees. She heard something shatter, but didn’t have the energy to look up and check. Silence settled, and after a moment had passed, she felt a big palm settle atop her head. Ye Zihan was petting her like a dog that had finally figured out a trick. She suppressed a flinch at the sound of his voice.

“Fucking finally.” For a moment, his fingers dug into her scalp, but didn’t pull. It was as if he caught himself and paused, “Clean this up.” The man grumbled and left.

She didn’t dare cry any more. Sure, her eyes burned, her heart rattled in her chest, her lungs felt like they were going to choke her from inside-out, but she was never going to give in. She felt like a jug that was about to spill over, but she refused. Gege taught her to be strong. She wouldn’t dare to disappoint her brother.

Slowly, Yuan got back up and proceeded to pick up the shards with her hands. The sharp edges cut into her skin, but she didn’t even feel it. Motionlessly and quietly she cleaned, until a hand settled on her shoulder. At first, she flinched, until she recognized that it was only one of the maids — Li Rong. She was a good woman, and was responsible for teaching Yuan how to read.

“A-Yuan. It’s okay.” Li Rong reassured, “Let this humble one clean.”

But Yuan shook her head, “No. Master told this lowly one to clean, so she will clean. Disobeying Master will lead to punishment.”

“A-Yuan..” The woman whispered, and there was so much sorrow and pain and—

“Do not pity me.” Yuan snapped, even though she didn’t mean to. “Oh.” She blinked, and locked her eyes with the startled maid, “I’m sorry. I— This one—“

“Everything is okay, A-Yuan. This one is not mad.” Li Rong quickly pacified the little girl, “May this one keep you company at least?”

“..Are you sure?” Yuan was genuinely wondering as to why Li Rong even had the time to do that. Sure, the servants weren’t worked to the bone like Yuan was, but that didn’t mean that they were not busy. Ye Zihan might not have a wife, children or siblings, but he did have guests who came over all the time. A lot of them.

“Yes. This one is very sure.” The maid nodded.

Yuan continued to clean. After she got rid of the shards, she dusted the tables and wiped the floors, and then proceeded to work on the blood stains. This was not her first time cleaning blood, and surely, it won’t be last.

“Now, let me see.” Li Rong spoke up after she extended her palms forward. Yuan stared at her like she grew a second head. “Your hands, A-Yuan. Let me see.” Heavens. Yuan really was so slow, only Li Rong had the patience to deal with her. Reluctantly, Yuan extended her hands towards the maid, “Follow me, hm?” Li Rong forced on a smile. It was so fake. 

Li Rong had led Yuan towards a small room and took out an herbal salve. She spread the white goo through each bruise and cut, making sure to not miss a single spot. Sometimes it stung, but sometimes it cooled the flared skin and Yuan would sigh in content. Then, she heard the cotton roll and a blade cut, as bandages were laid out and carefully wrapped through her limbs. Around her hands, wrists, ribs, and neck—? When had Master strangled her? She must have blanked out. She couldn’t remember at all! 

“A-Yuan. Master is gone for a couple of days starting tomorrow, so, why don’t you take a break? You have to heal.” The maid caressed the top of her head, and Yuan shuddered. 

“B-but, if Master finds out—!” She tried to argue, and Li Rong shushed her.

“He won’t.”

 

He didn’t.

 

The days passed in a nice routine. Yuan got to wake up later than dawn, the cooks spared her more food than the mere scraps and leftovers, and Li Rong had even tricked her into having a proper bath! She never had a bath before that in her entire life! Only river soaks and damp towel wipes. So, by the time Master had come back, Yuan was in much better spirits. Although, she was still bandaged from head-to-toe like a wannabe mummy, she kneeled in front of Yu Zihan without her usual tremor.

“This lowly one welcomes back Master.” She greeted, and the man simply grumbled in acknowledgment. Oh! He was in much better spirits too! 

After helping the man change out of his robes, Yuan had almost left to ask the cooks to start preparing dinner, however, Ye Zihan grabbed her wrist and forcefully turned her around. The two stared at each other for a long time.

“Who gave you healing ailments?” He asked, and Yuan opened her mouth from shock. She felt her stomach twist, unsure of what to say. Was no one supposed to help her? Shit. She couldn’t get Li Rong in trouble like that! Think, think, think!

“Speak when ordered.”

Fuck!

“T-this lowly one.. Uhm..” What was she supposed to do? If she said she did it herself; then it would be the same as admitting to stealing from her Master! If she said someone else had helped her, then she could be dooming them for punishment— But, wait. Ye Zihan never hit anyone else. Only Yuan. Maybe.. “This one begs for forgiveness!”

“Don’t beg for forgiveness — answer my question. Is that so fucking hard?” Ye Zihan hissed; his previously good mood was quickly souring right before her eyes.

“It w-was—“ Before she could get the words out, a knock at the door interrupted them. Ye Zihan grumbled, and tossed Yuan to the floor as he went to see who it was.

“What?” He snapped at the newcomer.

“Apologies, Master. A man who claims to be your sworn brother is at the door. We weren’t sure how to respond appropriately..” The servant’s voice trailed off with an edge of awkwardness. Odd. Yuan was convinced that her Master’s family was long dead since he never spoke of them!

“..Sworn brother, huh? So, he’s finally here, even though I sent that fucking letter years ago.” 

Then, she was completely forgotten, as Ye Zihan walked downstairs to greet the supposed martial brother. Slowly, Yuan leaned against the wall to help herself balance on her feet, when all of a sudden, the door was thrown back open with her Master and another — taller, bigger — man strolling in. The stranger’s aura was suffocating. The room suddenly felt much colder. As if evil itself was drenched in the man’s dark, black eyes. She couldn’t tell the iris apart from a pupil, but she knew for sure that she was being stared down at like she was a sack of walking meat.

“What would you say, Wu-ge?” Her Master had spoken, and she couldn’t help the spike in her heart at the address. ‘Ge’..

She wondered how her brothers were doing. Were they cold? Were they healthy? Were they hungry? If only there was a way to—

“Hm..” She was dragged out of her thoughts by the stranger squeezing her wrist hard enough to bruise. A spike of qi rushed through her spiritual veins and she gasped at the aching pain that spread through her entire limb. Her Master’s qi was also not a gentle force, but never outright torturous, “Weak spiritual channels. Although impressive for her age.” The man turned to face Ye Zihan, “Seven, you said?”

Seven? When had.. Had it been years already? 

“She’ll be eight soon.” Ye Zihan placed one hand on his hip. She didn’t understand a thing they were talking about, but at least the man had released her. With a pout, she brought her arm closer to herself and began to rub at the quickly darkening bruise.

“She’s young. Good.”

“Wu-ge, if she’ll be of no use, then just sell her off. There is never too much coin.” She jumped at the idea of being sold off somewhere again. Wait—! She was already being sold off! To this creepy, old fucker no less!

“You have a point.” The man grumbled, “Does this slave have a name?” He was now addressing her. Yuan gulped, wondering which approach to take. However, a single glare made her take a defensive step back. 

“This lowly one is Y-yuan, esteemed immortal master.” Should she bow—? The moment she thought it, in an instant, she was ready to slap herself silly! Of course she should bow! Without hesitation, she dropped down to her knees and lowered her head until her forehead touched the wood, “T-this one apologizes for her d-disrespect!”

“Well, this is certainly something.” The man snorted in amusement, “Esteemed immortal.” He repeated back with a click on his tongue, “It’s been a while since anyone called me such.” Before she could figure out if she had insulted or complimented the man, he tipped his shoe so that it would hook under her chin and forced her head to bend upwards. This person.. Was terrifying, “This one is Wu Yanzi. Have you heard of me before?”

“N-no..”

“Hm.” Wu Yanzi considered something for a moment, “Would you like to become my disciple, Yuan?”

What?

Was this a trick?

This had to be a trick.

“T-this one is a slave to her Master.” She didn’t know how to form her answer without disrespecting either of the men present.

“What if I buy you out?” Wu Yanzi pushed further. What did he want? Her opinions did not matter. At least, they shouldn’t (they never did).

“Then this slave will follow her new Master.” Yuan replied simply. What else would she do?

“Alright then.” The man nodded, but no coin was exchanged. She glared at the two of them, trying to figure out what was their game, “Follow, Yuan.”

She did. Her little legs barely kept up with the grown man’s pace as he practically stormed out of the manor without glancing back once. She wondered what the deal between the two of them was. Were they on good terms or not? Since she wasn’t officially bought, then she must have been given away as a form of compensation. Or a gift. 

“Will..” She hesitated. Wu Yanzi paused to glare down at her, “Will Master sell this one’s organs?” That had to be it. All that disciple nonsense was just that — nonsense. She wasn’t naive. She wouldn’t drop her guard. 

Wu Yanzi studied her for a long time, “Shizun.” He eventually grunted out.

“H-huh?” Yuan blinked, not understanding what the man was talking about. Had he hit his head? Should she try to find a healer—?

 

“Call this one Shizun, Yuan.”

Notes:

as I am uploading this, it is 4am for me, me & my friend finished a bottle of rosé, and i have a lecture in.. uh. 5 hours. anyways, this draft is supposed to be deleted today so i am uploading.. before it gets deleted

hope you liked this!! if you did please consider leaving kudos or a comment! i have already written 10 chapters and they’ll get longer from here on out! anyways my eyes are closing as i type this have a good day/night everyone 🫶🏻

Chapter 2: Starved, broken child

Summary:

“Yuan. Even if one day you’ll find yourself free of me, deep down you will always be a shallow little slave.” Her insides knotted on themselves. Her eyes locked with her Shizun’s, “Even when you’ll be older, even if you’ll run away from the past.. You’ll never be anything else but what you are today. A starved, broken child.”

Notes:

• TW/CW for the following chapter: unhealthy relationship, power imbalance, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, murder attempt, waterboarding, panic attacks, negative self-thoughts, slavery, physical child abuse, starvation of a child, emotional abuse, light sexism, Wu Yanzi’s behavior towards Yuan is very disturbing, possessive, and creepy, however, nothing romantic or sexual happens.

The whip came down on her wrists like a crackling fire. Yuan bit down on her lower lip to hold back a hiss of agony, feeling the sting vibrate through her sore skin. Wu Yanzi was unhappy with a slow progress in her cultivation, and with each passing month, his displeasure grew more and more evident. It went from disciplinary punishments to outright physical abuse.

“Concentrate.” He snapped at her, and the girl gulped, as she raised her palms once more to try and channel her qi.

Demonic cultivation was easy to manipulate. Much easier than what Ye Zihan was trying to teach her before (the so-called ‘orthodox’ path). However, the demonic qi would quickly overwhelm her mind, feast on her fear and pain, and then send her from one qi deviation into another.

“Shizun, I can’t.” Yuan shook her head, “It’ll happen again.. It hurts so much. This lowly one.. Will not.. Can’t..”

“I don’t care what you think you can or can’t do. You simply will.” Wu Yanzi sounded calm. Too calm. The girl gulped down a ball of anxiety, and proceeded to push the demonic qi upwards once more. She closed her eyes, pulsed the wave of tension around her central meridian, and then pulled it upwards. She was terrible at meditation or circulation — the demonic qi would warp her thoughts in an instant and give her panic attacks — so instead, she came up with a shortcut. It would fry her meridians, but at least, it gave the results that Wu Yanzi demanded.

Within the next second, a blast of crimson qi ripped out of her palm as it slammed against the tree in front of them; leaving an impressive damp in the wood. Wu Yanzi tilted his head to the side; thinking, considering.

“Wrist.” He demanded, and obediently, she extended it. He didn’t care on avoiding the fresh whip marks, and pressed right into the torn bleeding flesh with the nail of his thumb, “So, that’s how it is.”

She wondered whether there was any point in asking what her Shizun had found, but decided to give in anyway, “..Shizun?”

“Ah.” Wu Yanzi dropped her hand, and then lifted her chin to peer deeper into her eyes. In the reflection of his irises, she could see what caught his attention. Her previously green eyes now shined with unnatural turquoise. She shuddered at the sight, “It seems that demonic cultivation from such a young age is having unique side-effects.” Yuan cocked her head, but didn’t dare look away, “To make up for the lack of proper foundation, it is feeding off your life force to compensate for the strain. And it seems that the demonic qi is fusing with your mind, as you are unable to place proper mental blocks to guard yourself.” He hummed.

That.. Didn’t sound good.

Whatever he was talking about.

“What should this disciple do.. To prevent this?” She asked, although advice from this man was cheaper than dirt. Wu Yanzi in the past had many times caused Yuan to do something dangerous on purpose, just to see ‘what will happen’. And now, his toy had become even more interesting.

“Prevent this?” Wu Yanzi raised a brow, “We will not be preventing anything. I will be observing, and you’ll be reporting. Understood?”

“Yes, Shizun.” So, that was that. The exact mentality she had expected this man to display.

 

 

 

 

 

“Shizun.” Yuan walked through the door after a quick knock. The man didn’t even bother lifting up his head from where he sat at the table enjoying his dinner. The inn keeper was especially generous, even making some side dishes which neither of them have ordered.

“Report.” Wu Yanzi said, as he took a generous bite of roasted duck. Yuan raised from her bow as her eyes lazily trailed through the delicious foods. Her stomach grumbled, but neither paid attention to it.

“Yes, Shizun.” She lowered her head, “This disciple took care of the nest of the Red-Eyed Wasps. We have received payment for each head.”

That got the man’s attention. He quirked a brow, “How much?” Yuan rummaged through her robes and pulled out a pouch filled with coin. Without being told, she stepped forward and placed the money into her Shizun’s open palm, “Huh. Not bad.” He looked up, “How many were there?”

“Ten, Shizun. They were no trouble.” Of course they weren’t.

One thing that Yuan enjoyed learning from the depths of her heart — were monsters and beasts. She often sneaked out to read texts at the bookstores about animals without actually buying them (her Shizun would rather die than spare a single coin on his pathetic little disciple). Her and Wu Yanzi were wanderers, they never stayed in one place for too long, but she used that to her advantage. Each village and town held their own documented encyclopedias about local Floras and Faunas, which only enriched her overall knowledge of the field (and helped with her reading). Although Wu Yanzi hadn’t openly acknowledged her “secret” hobby, he had long caught on, and began to send her out on hunts after rare plants and deadly monsters.

“Really, now?” The man then reached for one of the bowls at random, and pushed it towards the opposite side of the table, “Have this, then.”

No different from a dog getting a treat.

“Thanking Shizun.”

The meal was nothing special. While Wu Yanzi got an entire feast, she had to chew on a simple bowl of plain rice—

Wow. When did her thinking.. Got so spoiled? Before, a warm fluffy bowl of rice was not even within her’s, gege’s and Qi-ge’s dreams. Now, she was reprimanding the simplicity of it? Well, perhaps watching rich masters play with their foods and choose-and-pick between vegetables had built up some resentment in her. Even now, as she observed Wu Yanzi toss the cabbage around and frown at the bamboo shoots; all she could do was think about how the hungry children on the streets would kill even for a sniff.

“Get that nasty look off your face.” The man snapped at her, having caught her in the act of glaring.

“This lowly one apologizes, Shizun.” Yuan said without much emotion to it, as she went back to silently chewing on rice. Salt would have saved it a bit. Made it more pleasing to her tongue..

She always craved salty things. Meanwhile, Jiu-ge was a sucker for sweets. Qi-ge not as much.. That boy would eat whatever, as long as his Xiao Jiu and Xiao Shi had something in their stomachs first. He always put them before himself.. Maybe a bit too much.. Back in the day, she would try and steal cakes, tanghulu, and lotus pastries just to see either of them smile. Her small shape and swift legs easily carried her through the crowds and gave her an advantage at finding hiding spots.

Suddenly, her chopsticks made a screeching noise, as she realized that her bowl was already empty. However, she was nowhere to being full.. She was a growing child, constantly on her feet, working, cultivating, monster hunting.. Pleadingly, her eyes trailed to the other plates.

“Get out.” Wu Yanzi sent a pulse of qi at her that she didn’t bother dodging. It hit right between her ribs, where she was sore from the last beating. With a yelp, she reeled back and lowered herself in shame. She had forgotten herself. He might call her a disciple, but deep down they both knew what she really was. A slave. The only reason he was teaching her demonic cultivation was so that he could have guinea pig for his experiments.

Quickly, Yuan scrambled to her feet and bowed, taking her leave without looking back.

Wu Yanzi never paid for her room. Unlike himself, she was always made to sleep outside. He didn’t care that she was young and a girl. He didn’t care if it rained or if it was cold. Or that she never had a blanket with herself. What she did at night was not his problem, as long as she came running back in the morning.

“That Shizun of yours is sure cruel.”

A voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

The inn keeper who was still wiping down the tables after a big group of customers gave her a quick glance. He was an older man, but didn’t seem to have issues with working hard and doing labor himself, “Did he even give you any of the food I put aside for you?” Ah, so that was why there was extra.. “You’re skin and bones.” He continued to fuss, and Yuan would have laughed, if it wasn’t so sad. If she wasn’t starving. If she wasn’t so desperate for someone to care.

Jiu-ge.. Qi-ge.. I hope that wherever you are.. That things are better for you.

“This one thanks the inn keeper for his thoughtfulness.” She bowed, showing respect, “This one is merely stepping out to run an errand. This is the least that a disciple can do for her honored Shizun.” A lie easily slipped off her tongue. It was an automated response at this point, as every single inn keeper always questioned why she wasn’t staying the night.

The man gave her a long, thoughtful stare, “Is that so?” He sighed, “You’re not fooling me. Your Shizun paid for one room and one meal. Why? Have you done something to displease him?” A sharp stab went through her chest at that. A flash of Wu Yanzi whipping her wrists, cracking her ribs, pulling at her hair.. Displeased him, huh. It was impossible to please him.

“Indeed.” She simply said, nodding along, “So, this one must go.”

However, before she could walk out—

“Wait.” The old man spoke up once more, “Do you know how to cook?” That surprised her.

“I could.. Manage.” Oftentimes when Wu Yanzi and her wouldn’t secure an inn, then they would sleep outside. During those nights, she would be responsible for making meals.. As ‘a woman’s duty’. Those seemed to be the only times that her Shizun would ever acknowledge her gender. Only when such was convenient to point out.

“If you come back before dawn and help this man with serving breakfasts, then I’ll give you a small room on the upper floor. My son used to stay there when he was helping out, but he recently got married and left all this work on my sore shoulders.” He grumbled at the end, “So, what do you say?”

“..Are you sure?” Sounded too good to be true.

“What? You want more work or something?” The man let out a laugh, “I guess you could clean up as well. Dishes don’t wash themselves.”

“This one is grateful for elder’s generosity.” She was tempted to rub her eyes, and make sure that this wasn’t a dream. Nobody has offered her.. Anything this kind before. A blessing! From the Heavens! Maybe leaving an offering at a passing shrine wasn’t a waste of time after all! Next time, she’ll even try to light an incense!

“Don’t mention it.” He waved her off, “Well, run along then.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’ve come back.” The old man seemed surprised at Yuan’s proficiency, but she could only offer a careless shrug.

“This one has promised that she’ll offer help before dawn. To go back on my word would be to disrespect my Shizun’s name.” She said simply, and had walked up to take a look around, “How may this one assist?”

“Huh.” The inn keeper gave her a lazy smile. There seemed to be something on his mind, but he didn’t bother saying it, “Kids there days. My son was never this willing to do work. Are all young cultivators this eager to please?”

“This one wouldn’t know. She’s never met other disciples.” That was a plain lie. She had met many demonic disciples since she met Wu Yanzi. Especially, during the ‘tournaments’, where each disciple would beat their opponents black-and-blue just to hear a single word of praise from their masters. She shuddered at the memory.

Yeah. Demonic disciples knew well not to displease their Shizuns.

“Alright, alright. I’m getting on with the years, so I always chit-chat. Why don’t you get started in the kitchen? Do you know how to make congee?” She nodded. It was one of the first things she learned to make, “Good. What about pork-stuffed buns?” Ah, she was never good at handling dough. Her hands shook too much.

“This one can learn.” She assured, and the old man snorted.

“I don’t doubt that. Well then, get into the kitchen. This one is going to buy some vegetables.” After that, she had been left alone.

 

Congee.

She could do that.

 

Carefully, she stepped into the kitchen and looked around for a sack of rice. Then, she fell into an automated routine of rinsing a couple of bowls of rice until the water would run clean. There was broth brewing at the side, but the old man hadn’t told her if it was for congee or for a noodle soup, so she let it be and reached for more water instead. As she left the congee to simmer on heat, she rummaged through the kitchen to start working on the toppings. Minced pork, duck eggs, crushed peanuts, soy sauce, and fried shallots. She worked quickly and easily multi-tasked between the frying pan and the boiling pot; and she always circled back to check-up on the congee, afraid that she might overcook it. Her and Shizun preferred thicker texture, so she used less water than usual. Hopefully, the meat toppings and salty soy-sauce would balance out the ‘odd’ texture, should they get more picky customers.

It smelled good. Her mouth watered and her stomach clenched in a sad reminded that she had eaten nothing but a pathetic bowl of rice since last night. Her chest ached and knees trembled, but she did not give in to the urge to just snatch up and eat a spoon of everything in sight. This was not her food. She was cooking to earn herself a room, but the inn keeper said nothing about feeding her. Perhaps, she could offer to clean in the evenings in exchange for the pork-steamed buns. Or some vegetable fried rice. A bowl of wontons. She’d take congee too. Anything. Heavens, she was so hungry.

“Well, aren’t you quite skilled.” The inn keeper came back and greedily sniffed the air, “Well then, you’ve earned yourself the room.” He shuffled in the pocket, until a key landed in her palm. A room! With a bed! For her!

“Thank you.” She bowed.

“No need, no need. Feel free to stay as long as you come down to cook breakfast.” He assured, “Now then, we’ve still got time. Let this old man teach you how to make pork-stuffed buns.”

“Okay.” She hid the key in her robes, as she approached the counter and began to follow the motion with her eyes.

The dough was simple enough (even though she was yet to succeed at making it herself), and the filling was quite obvious too. Some ground pork, soy sauce, salt, sugar, chopped green onions and ginger. She watched as the inn keeper skillfully handled the long, sharp knife while he chopped away at a miraculous speed through each ingredient. With a pleased smirk, he added foods to a wooden bowl and Yuan had to remind herself that she shouldn’t sniff around like a dog no matter how appetizing the meals looked.

“This old man also prefers to add mushrooms, but you have to chop them well. Otherwise, their texture will stand out in the stuffing.” He explained, as he quickly rinsed the mushrooms in a bowl of water and then began to dice them up. Yuan was almost certain that nobody would even taste the mushrooms in contrast to the pork, but she did not say. He was the cook, she was a student.

“Now, would you like to try?”

She learned quickly. After a few messy attempts, she even got the wrapping right, and managed to assemble twelve buns on her own. The man praised her with a cheery laugh, and told her that as a bonus she could have the wobbly-looking ones for her breakfast. After all, there was nothing wrong with them (apart from the ugly shape), but he couldn’t serve them to his customers without a ‘pang to his pride’. Yuan thanked the inn keeper thousands of times, until he let her run off, telling her that each morning he could teach her how to make something new. She smiled with anticipation. This was a nice contrast to the daily fury of her Shizun.

However, they left barely two weeks later.

The inn keeper watched with a worried eye the way Wu Yanzi squeezed Yuan’s arm tight enough to leave a bruise.

“It seems you’ve taught my disciple the arts of cooking. This master is grateful.” Wu Yanzi said with a lazy smirk, “Hopefully my disciple behaved well.”

The inn keeper frowned further, “Of course she did. She’s a very diligent student. Quick and quiet.”

“Good.” Wu Yanzi nodded, and then pushed Yuan forwards, ignoring the stumble in her step, “Then we shall get going.”

The inn keeper opened his mouth as if in protest, but then quickly shut it closed. What could he do anyway? He didn’t need this trouble on his old shoulders. The girl seemed smart enough to take care of herself should a need arise. Meanwhile, he had customers to worry about. Coin to make. Family to feed. 

 

She was not his problem.

 

 

 

 

 

Her nails scraped at the wood. She thrashed like a fish out the water, but none of her kicks or protests were useful against Wu Yanzi. Yuan might have enough skill and power to slay beasts, but when it came to her Shizun.. Her body locked on itself in paralyzed fear.

 

One..

 

Two..

 

Three..

 

She tried to count, she tried to do everything possible, just as long as she didn’t have to focus on the fingers digging into her scalp — any stronger, and he would crack her skull open — and the weight pressing her down; deeper, and deeper into the water.

 

Four..

 

Five..

 

Six..

 

They’ve been on a road for a month now without any stops in towns. Wu Yanzi seemed to be in a desperate search for something, but he never shared with his disciple what he was looking for. Well, and Yuan never bothered to ask either. His agitation, made him even more on edge than usual, having him snap at the smallest things. Three days ago, he pushed her because she tripped and accidentally grabbed his sleeve. Yesterday, he slapped her face because she cut her finger whilst peeling vegetables, thus, ‘tainting his meal with filth’. Today? She..

 

Seven..

 

Eight..

 

Nine..

 

Ten..

 

She had never seen a real-life Twelve-Tailed Snow Fox before! Only book pictures! She had read so much about them (secretly, they were one of her favorites!), and seeing one up close had simply excited her too much! She didn’t want to kill it! They are dying species, rare to find as they are cautious of humans, and are close family to huli jings. The obvious differences being that Twelve-Tailed Snow Foxes didn’t cultivate a human form. They also.. Well, had twelve, not nine tails. They had white fur and blue paws, with small dotted lilac prints on their backs. Beautiful, stunning creatures — very important for northern forests around them, as their diet consists of poisonous snakes and insects, which they were immune to.

 

Eleven..

 

Twelve..

 

Thirteen..

Four.. Teen..

 

Fif.. Tee.. Enn..

 

So, even though Shizun had shouted at her to kill one because their organs could be used for demonic rituals.. She couldn’t do it. She clutched the knife in her hand, she stared at the terrified animal in the hand-braided net, and simply.. Froze up. The fox looked at her with pleading, horrified eyes. It had done nothing to her. In fact, it even approached her.. By itself. Which was the only reason why it got caught so easily in the first place. It was on the smaller-side, so it must have been young and too naive to have trusted a human.

 

Six..

 

..six..

 

Teen..

 

Without a second thought, she cut the ropes with her knives and quickly threw the net off the fox, freeing it back into the wild. She was planning to keep her failed hunt a secret from her Shizun, but as she turned around, the man was already behind her, his fist flying right into her face, and making her vision spin. He tended to avoid punching her in the nose, but today.. She must have really cracked his temper with her disobedience. The fox had run away without looking back, and although scared for her life.. Yuan was glad. She had done a good thing today. No matter the price that she was about to pay.

 

twenty.. ?

 

..eight..

 

..twenty..

 

..nine..

 

Yuan’s knees ached from the pressing weight, and she could feel the wounds swell under her skin.. Her kneecaps painfully rolled to the side.. Close to snapping.. Her meniscus stretched across her thigh, ready to break at any second. Her spine ached; Wu Yanzi’s leg pressed against each stuck-out bone as it painfully dug into her brittle skin.

 

She was going to drown.

 

He was not going to pull her back.

 

This was it.

 

There was a time, she had read a medical text in the bookstore. There, a famous healer from the respected Lan sect had described that drowning felt similar to swallowing fire into your lungs. However, as Yuan stopped struggling and let herself go.. All she could feel was peace. There were seconds of agony, but then.. The sensation consumed her. She felt a forceful pull downwards, as all her thoughts and worries melted out of her mind right into the surrounding water. The previously freezing-cold laundry basket, now felt like a warm enveloping embrace. Of death.

 

Oh. She was..

 

Not against dying.

 

When had survival stopped being a priority?

 

She should have known the moment flavor seemed more important than the food’s quantity. She had simply.. Stopped thinking about how often her stomach was filled, as long as it was something enjoyable. Because living was not important anymore.

As the realization hit, she felt the tension drain from her body as she completely submitted to her Shizun’s will. If Wu Yanzi decided that today was going to be her last day alive, then she was happy to accept.

 

I’m sorry, Jiu-ge.

 

I’m sorry, Qi-ge.

 

This Xiao Shi is not coming back.

 

Her thoughts trailed back to the Twelve-Tailed Snow Fox. She was so glad that she got a glimpse of it before her death! Its fur looked so fluffy.. She wondered whether in the next life she would have a blessing to pet one. The books said that scratching behind their ears made them purr — just like cats! Sound that could soothe even most broken souls. She’ll make sure to hear it in the next life.. Next life.. Life.. Death..

 

Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

She woke up.

 

As she opened her eyes, she wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t the calm crackling of the fire and the vast space of endless starry sky. It was deep into the night, but even without seeing, she could hear that her Shizun was awake. The man was sat further away as he cleaned his sword with a cloth from blood. She didn’t bother turning her head to look. Strangely.. She was calm. Yuan remembered the attempt on her life, she remembered the harsh words.. The aftermath..

“Did you think I was going to kill you?” Wu Yanzi spoke up first. Initially, she had an urge to ignore him, however..

Slowly, she turned her head to look at him. The man didn’t meet her gaze. There was no emotion on his face. No disgust, no fury — nothing. Hm.

“Yes, Shizun.” She said easily. Suddenly, she noticed that she wasn’t as cold as before. Atop her body rested a dirty blanket.

Wu Yanzi hummed. There was a frown crossing through his brows, similar to when he would indulge in card games at the inns in hopes to win some coin, “Do you believe for me to be a harsh master?”

Yuan wanted to laugh.

“Yes, Shizun.” She sighed as her chest tightened, “However, we both know that I am not a real disciple. You bought me as a slave from your sworn brother. Thus, your treatment towards this lowly one should not matter. If Shizun wishes to beat me — then he can do so. If Shizun wishes to kill me — then so be it.”

It wasn’t like she cared anymore either.

“Yuan.” There was unnatural urgency in the voice. A demand to be heard. “You’ll be with me forever. Do you understand?” The question creeped her out, but Wu Yanzi had his ‘strange’ moments. She wondered if such was matter of personality or influence of demonic cultivation.

“No, Shizun.” His gaze sharpened at her defiance; like a hawk set on a hunt. She didn’t feel threatened. “Forgive this foolish one for her words. One day, we will walk separate paths. This lowly one won’t be yours forever.”

“Oh? Are you planning on running away, Yuan?” Wu Yanzi leaned back as he finally put his sword away. There was a lazy grin stretching his lips, “If that’s so, then I’ll break your legs.”

As if he hadn’t before. Yuan had even developed a funny step in her walk from some unhealed cracks and fractures. Wu Yanzi took special pleasure whenever she was crippled and was forced to depend on him for basic needs. Gross.

“No, Shizun. It is much more simple than that. One day, one of us will die, and the other one will move on. And shall I be the first one to go.. Then I won’t be yours anymore. I’ll be free.” Something elated within her chest at the idea.

Maybe in the next life, she’ll be more lucky. She could be born into a rich family, with loving parents, and good siblings. There would be so much food that her biggest problem would be hiding the baby fat on her cheeks behind blushes and powders. She wanted to experience what it was like to be a spoiled innocent brat who never knew a beating or a lashing. Who never tasted even a single bite of stale molded bread. Who never learned how to stitch their own wounds and cleanse their infected cuts, because they were loved and cherished. Wanted.

“Yuan. Even if one day you’ll find yourself free of me, deep down you will always be a shallow little slave.” Her insides knotted on themselves. Her eyes locked with her Shizun’s, “Even when you’ll be older, even if you’ll run away from the past.. You’ll never be anything else but what you are today. A starved, broken child.”

Then, without any warning, the man stood up and approached her at a quick pace. On an impulse, she flinched, but the pain did not come. Instead, a firm hand wrapped itself around her wrist as she felt icy demonic qi blast through her arm up her shoulder.

“Just like I thought. Heart demons.” Wu Yanzi snickered, and let her hand go, “However, these are no simple heart demons.. They’re rooted down to your soul. Fascinating.“

“..My soul?” She was still struggling to get around the concept of heart demons. From what Wu Yanzi had taught her.. She would have assumed for every person to have those. Wasn’t everyone carrying weight on their shoulders? On the other hand, that did not seem to be the case.

“Speak the truth. Do you wish for death?” Wu Yanzi asked, and she didn’t see any point in deception.

“Yes.” Yuan nodded.

Wu Yanzi didn’t sigh or groan. He didn’t seem happy either, how he usually was at her suffering. Instead, he reached his palm and buried it in her hair, gently tracing his finger-pads through her scalp. Her Shizun never touched her this gently before, but she was no fool. This wasn’t care or pity. Something else.

“I won’t grant it.”

He said, simply. Like his word was the law. For a moment she tried to imagine what he would do if she were to bite off her own tongue right this moment and drown herself in her blood.

She decided against that for now. Something strange settled between the two of them. Almost like.. A calm before the storm.

“Sit up. This one shall comb your hair.” The man groaned, “Sit up, I said!” He snapped, when she didn’t move fast enough. He roughly grabbed Yuan’s shoulder and pulled her up, making the girl hiss at the strain on her sore muscles.

Just like a doll, her Shizun brushed, oiled and braided her hair until perfection. Heavens, he even bothered with the ribbons. The bright forest green which contrasted with her eyes against the dull, dark robes. Once he was done, her scalp ached at the harsh treatment. Some of the hairs have fallen out at the careless strokes, but she did not voice a single complaint. As she peered at the small bronze mirror in her hands, she wondered whether this could have been her everyday look if she had gone to become a real disciple in a cultivation sect. It would have been nice to look this pretty all the time.

“This lowly one thanks her Shizun.” She bowed, but the man only rolled his eyes at her.

“Not even braids and ribbons can conceal the feral look of a street child from your eyes.” He stabbed her with his words, but she did not wince. Showing reaction would equate to losing. Losing would be the same as boring him. He liked the tension. She learned it quick enough. “How pathetic.”

“Shizun is wise.” Was all she offered back.

After all, he wasn’t wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

She did not try to run away nor did she betray her Shizun’s trust, and yet the invisible leash around her throat tightened after that night. It started with the small things. Wu Yanzi suddenly fell into the habit of doing her hair, buying her expensive scented oils, and nicer — warmer — robes. He did not rent a separate room at the inn, however, he began to settle for the rooms with two beds and privacy screens. Although, her meals did not become any larger than before. Her Shizun strictly fed her the leftovers which he personally could not be bothered with, and left it at that. He liked her weak and fragile, as that gave her less chances of leaving him behind.

There was a night, where Yuan woke up to shuffling of the sheets and a staggering breath. Wu Yanzi was a man with a mind of steel, but even he had occasional nightmares. She thought not much of it, and turned in her bed to face the other way, until she felt a tight grip squeeze her ankle.

“S-shizun?!” She gasped, already wide awake and alert. The man looked up at her with a crazed look — his irises bright with crimson — same way hers would get after qi deviations, “Shizun..” She tried again, and her voice seemed to have reached him.

He blinked away his surprise, and gazed around like a child who lost his parents at the market street.

“We are in Qingliu Village.” She started up. From what she could recall qi deviations being like.. It was always disorienting. There would be waves of paranoia and shackling fear. She had to ease Wu Yanzi’s mind, “We are staying at the inn for five days as we hunt down the Golden-Clawed Bears from the local forests. The winter is coming soon, and you wanted to make warmer robes from their furs. Shizun, do you remember?” She tried to sit up, but the hold on her ankle tightened, screeching at her bone.

“Who are you?” Wu Yanzi snapped, and she could barely hold back a sigh. Then, before she could answer—

“Why did I dream of you leaving me? Are you my daughter? Yin’er? Is that you? Why do you wish to go? Why do you always try to leave me?” The assumptions stumped her. Wu Yanzi, dreaming of her? And the idea of her leaving.. Sent him into a qi deviation? Bizarre.

“This lowly one is Yuan. I am your disciple and a slave, Shizun. You bought me from your sworn brother four years ago.” She explained, trying to remain as calm as possible, while ignoring the racking pain around her calf. Was he going to break her legs? To make sure she stays?

“Shizun, let this one pass you some qi.” Strangely, the man did not fight. In fact, he quite eagerly extended his wrist and let the girl inspect his meridians. She was not a healer nor someone of high skill, but after suffering consistent qi deviations herself, she had learned to identify common triggers.

As she circled her demonic qi through her Shizun’s body, she carefully trailed the stream through each of his meridians, and smoothed out any blockages to the best of her ability. Shizun is a hypocrite, she thought bitterly to herself. He had heart demons too, after all.

“That’s enough now, Yuan.” Wu Yanzi spoke up much more soberly. When their eyes locked, there was recognition in his gaze and slight amusement, “You did not let this Master die.”

“No.” She agreed.

“How come?” He pursued further.

Right. Why didn’t she?

“This one doesn’t know, Shizun.”

The man clicked his tongue, and slowly reached for a lock of her hair.

“Do you want to know what I dreamed of?” No, her mind instantly supplier, but she remained silent. He didn’t care for her reply. “An unknown manor.. Burning down to a crisp. And then.. There was a forest, and I saw you cry. Which made me wonder.. I’ve heard your screams, your pleas, and your outbursts.” He leaned closer in and pulled her closer to himself, so that her back would be pressed against his chest. The embrace was suffocating. A cage. “But I’ve never — ever — seen you shed tears.” The hold tightened. She hoped that he wouldn’t crack her ribs again like last time. “So tell me, what could possibly make someone like you weep? You’re so cold. You’re incapable of love and care. Just a starving creature. And yet in that dream of mine.. You cried just like a little girl would.” 

“I don’t know, Shizun.” She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to show as little reaction as possible. He would know if she would tremble.

“She doesn’t know, huh. What do you know then? Do you know anything?” Wu Yanzi’s arms tightened once more, and Yuan felt her heart leap. With each passing moment it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Her ribs constricted against her lungs as they pressed her organs further in until the pain sunk into her insides. Not again, not again, not again!

“Shizun—!“ Yuan was ready to beg, but strangely, the man urgently pushed her away as if burnt, causing her to tumble down to the hard floor. She whimpered at the blunt ache at the back of her head, but did not dare rise.

“Don’t ‘Shizun’ me.” He hissed like a snake, and got up to walk back towards his side of the room. She tried her best to ignore the hateful glare he sent her way. All demonic cultivators were men of extreme mood swings, but Wu Yanzi.. Was especially sick. Unpredictable. “Sleep. Wake early tomorrow and make me breakfast yourself. I don’t want anyone else handling my food.”

“This one obeys, Shizun.”

She should have left him to rot.

 

 

 

 

 

The ocean was vast.

Yuan stared up at the endless waves and turquoise depths in wonder. Her eyes glowed, as she followed the sight of the setting sun by the horizon. Her feet — bare of shoes — sunk deeper into the wet sand, as she took in the space around her. The smell of salt in the air, the cold breeze against her skin, the tickle of small shell-crabs passing by as they carried chunks of seaweed in their petite claws. She had never seen the ocean before. She had never thought she would. Long time ago, Jiu-ge told her that when they would grow older and become righteous cultivators — they would visit. They would take a dive in the cold waters, gather siren’s pearls and lilac shells to make jewels for one another. Qi-ge didn’t seem thrilled at the idea of swimming somewhere with potentially dangerous fish floating around, so he told them that he would be on stand-by at the beach, ready to cut down any dangerous beasts should they come and disturb them.

And yet, here she stood. Alone. Demonic cultivator. No sword at her hip. No courage in her heart. A slave.

 

“Yuan.”

 

Jiu-ge would have been so disappointed. And she could just imagine that pitying frown on Qi-ge’s face.. Hopefully, one day the two of them will come to the oceans together. Happy, even without her by their side. She used to hold them back anyway. Without her.. They would.. They would.. Be much better.

 

“Yuan, where are you going?”

 

She hadn’t even realized as she took a step towards the oceans. Her feet melted easily into the mushy ground below, and once more she recalled how easy it was to drown. The peace, the quiet, the serene harmony. First breath burned, next one numbed.

 

“Yuan, get back here!”

 

She ignored Wu Yanzi’s threatening tone as she took another step forward. She gasped as something sharp stabbed through her skin. With a quick glance, she saw a broken shard of a seashell pierced deep through her foot. Her blood floated up in the clear waters as it tainted the crystal-clear space in dirty streaks of blood. Dirty. She was dirty. Dirty.. Dirty.. Dirty.. Never clean.. Never ever clean.. No matter how much she’d scrub herself.. No matter how much soap she’d use.. Her blood, her touch, her being.. was dirty..

 

“Yuan, you don’t know how to swim!”

 

She didn’t need to swim. She needed to drown. And so, she kept going further in — lured by the comforting whispers of death. Her robes drenched and hung heavier around her shoulders, so she carelessly shrugged off the upper furs and continued to march forwards. The ocean kept pulling her in — and as if hypnotized — she followed.

 

“You—!”

 

Without a warning, a hand grabbed at her shoulder, forcefully turning her around. Then, not even a second later, Wu Yanzi grabbed her by her throat and began to take her back towards the land. Panic seized her body, and for once in a long time, she began to struggle.

“Let me go, let me go, let me go! Please, let me go! Please!” Yuan screamed at the top of her lungs as she felt her heart being torn to pieces. She was so close—! Her escape was right before her! She just needed to—!

“Shut up!” Wu Yanzi shouted back, but his tone only sent her into further hysterics. The water splashed everywhere, soaking them both from head to toe, but she did not let the cold shiver bring her down.

“Let me die! Shizun, please let me die! Let this lowly one go! Please, Shizun, please!” Her eyes stung, but no tears fell, “Please, Master! Throw me into the depths! I beg you!”

“You’re deviating.” He said instead, and before she could get another word in, she felt his hold lock around her throat, until no air was able to pass through, “Calm down.” His voice commanded her, and although her mind was steeled to keep fighting, her body grew heavier in his hold, until her vision blurred. The man watched her — bored and unbothered — waiting for her to crumble under his will. His violence.

“I won’t grant you death.”

 

The sun had settled.

 

“I will never grant you death.”

 

The skies grew dark.

 

 

Notes:

hi! hope that yall liked this chapted! i edited it while walking around the mall, so plz excuse any mistakes or anything like that. just a quick reminder that i know nothing abt cultivation and this entire fic is just me bullshitting through it abt it.. oh well. hope yall liked it anyway x

have an amazing day / night!! 🫶🏻

Chapter 3: Demons and humans

Summary:

“Yuan, what do you think is the difference between demons and humans? Aside from the habitat. What is the main difference?”

What kind of stupid question was that? Demons were demons, humans were humans. There was not much more to it. Demons were stronger, lived longer lives, had better affinity towards spirituality. Humans were the opposite, but dominated the world thanks to their larger population number.

“Yuan, think. Think about what we just spoke of.”

“Why are humans incompatible with demonic qi?”

“Do you get it now, Yuan?”

Oh.

Notes:

• TW/CW for the following chapter: unhealthy relationship, power imbalance, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, murder attempt, animal abuse, physical child abuse, emotional child abuse, light sexism, Wu Yanzi’s behavior towards Yuan is very disturbing, possessive, and creepy, however, nothing romantic or sexual happens, blood & gore, implied self-harm, the qiu family.

#

this chapter took longer than expected cuz i just had my nails done and although it didn’t stop me from writing it definitely slowed me down LMAO

i also have a 10 hour flight today, then i gotta wait 7 hours at the airport, and have a second 4.5 hour flight, so.. i will be doing A LOT of writing to keep myself sane

“Shizun, where are we going?” Yuan asked, as the two slowly trailed down the hill. The fields around were filled with blooming Jade Orchids and various breeds of butterflies, so every now and then Yuan’s attention drifted away to gaze at the colorful insects and nice-smelling flowers. She couldn’t help herself! Not everyday one could pass by such a vast selection of spiritual flora! (Even though it did make her nose itch, ugh). 

“Yuan, careful.” The man grumbled, as he grabbed at the girl’s collar and pulled her back, “Not all of these are Jade Orchids. Some are False Orchids.” He elaborated, and Yuan flushed with embarrassment. She was a well-read child, but even she didn’t have the skill yet to recognize all flowers at glance.

Although she did often wonder, just — why? — why did so many plants in this world have to be aphrodisiacs, truth pollens or animal transformants? 

“Thanking Shizun.” She sighed, suddenly wanting to get away from the field as fast as possible.

“To answer your initial question, we are going to visit Tieguo Village to forge you a weapon, and then we will visit an old acquaintance of mine.”

Not even a year ago, Shizun would have never told her a straightforward answer to a question. He always liked to dodge or keep things in suspense, or, during especially tense moments, he would tell her that knowing was none of her business. However, after saving his life from the qi deviation, Shizun’s trust seemed to have leaped miles. They were.. Actually capable of conversation, without the man reminding her that she was lower than dirt and nothing more than a cheap possession. It was almost.. Nice.

After all, Yuan didn’t have anyone else to talk to. Wu Yanzi had been a constant in her life for many, many years now. Essentially, even with abuse and ache, the man had.. Raised her. She hated feeling this way. She was supposed to hate him more than anything. She was supposed to bite, scratch and run. She wasn’t supposed to just.. Just..

..Why? Why was this happening?

 

Snap out of it.

 

You hate him.

 

You hate him more than anything.

 

Her heart was brimming with resentment, and the heart demons haven’t calmed, but.. Wu Yanzi.. Shizun.. 

 

“What got you so quiet?” His voice snapped Yuan out of her thoughts.

The girl blinked, “Shizun, we are getting me a weapon?” She questioned, feeling suspicious. It was true that Shizun has been buying her more things as of recent (even some books on demonic beasts!), but she hadn’t thought he’d ever get her a weapon. She didn’t think that.. He’d ever trust her.

“It won’t be a spiritual weapon.” Wu Yanzi sighed, “Yuan, do you know what is the difference between demonic cultivators and you?” He asked, and Yuan took a moment to think. She’d met many demonic cultivators since Shizun had bought her.. But..

“No, Shizun.” She answered, hoping that she wouldn’t get smacked at the back of her head for this.

Strangely, Shizun only groaned in irritation, “Stupid girl.” He grumbled, “Demonic cultivators tend to start out as spiritual cultivators, since unorthodox path is not commonly taught and is publicly frowned upon. Which is why demonic cultivators are more prone to qi deviations, as it takes time to reach perfect balance between the spiritual and demonic qi. You, on the other hand.. You had a bit of spiritual energy in you when I took you in—“ You mean bought, Shizun. But go on. “—but mostly you’ve only been harvesting and manipulating resentful energy majority of your life. Whatever spiritual energy you had.. Is probably gone now. In fact, give me your wrist.”

Silently, Yuan reached out her hand and felt the familiar spike of qi go through her veins.

“Mhm. Just like I thought.” Wu Yanzi nodded to himself, “There is a trace, but it is small. Very, very faint. All I can really feel is demonic qi.”

“Shizun, forgive this foolish one..” She felt nervous to ask, but it was important to understand, “But what is the difference between demonic qi and resentful energy?”

“Yuan. Use your brain.” The man snapped, but seeing that she wasn’t close to figuring it out, he gave in with a displeased groan, “Resentful energy is more of a general term. Resentful energy is harvested from strong negative emotions and heart demons.. In some cases, like in ghost cultivation, resentful energy is harvested from fierce corpses and ghosts. You are not like that. You generate resentful energy yourself, and then you extract the demonic qi through the techniques which I have taught you.”

The more she listened, the more she wondered.. What was the purpose of this? If there was no such thing as ‘demonic children cultivators’, then why did her Shizun want to raise one? Was it to do with the experiments he had mentioned in the very beginning?

“Shizun. Why did you not teach me spiritual cultivation alongside demonic one?” She dared to question, and the man reeled back at her boldness. For a moment, long silence settled between them, until Wu Yanzi’s expression cracked into a twisted smile.

“You dare question your Shizun?”

“No. This one was merely curious.”

“Take a guess then, Yuan.“

She bit down on her lower lip, trying to ignore the burning stare of the older man, “Shizun taught me in the past..” Yeah, give him all the credit, remind him of all that ‘he had done for you’, blah-blah-blah, “..that demonic cultivation is better suited for demons as they have stronger bases for it. On the other hand, spiritual cultivation is more fragile and takes longer to master, but the effects of it can bring forth healing, soul protection, and helps humans form Golden Cores which help them circle spiritual qi through their body. Demonic qi and spiritual qi are essentially.. Two opposing forces. However, although demonic cultivation brings forth more power at a faster rate.. It takes strong emotional and physical toll on its wielder. Spiritual and demonic qi are incompatible.. They contradict one another.” Demonic cultivators were doomed for inner chaos, all for the sake of tremendous power. Quick, power. 

“Which is why all demonic cultivators need to have perfect balance between their spiritual and demonic qi. Otherwise, they deviate. Good, very good.” Wu Yanzi patted the top of Yuan’s head, “But you didn’t answer the question. Don’t ramble.”

“Shizun.. Wants to see if cultivating demonic qi from a young age.. Can make humans compatible for it. Without paying the price it usually brings..” So, this was why her eyes tended to turn turquoise when she would engage in combat and release strong pulses of demonic qi. Things were starting to make more and more sense.

The man nodded, “Good girl.” And then.. “Yuan, what do you think is the difference between demons and humans? Aside from the habitat. What is the main difference?”

What kind of stupid question was that? Demons were demons, humans were humans. There was not much more to it. Demons were stronger, lived longer lives, had better affinity towards spirituality. Humans were the opposite, but dominated the world thanks to their larger population number.

“Yuan, think. Think about what we just spoke of.”

She didn’t understand what he wanted her to say. So, like an idiot, she kept staring ahead. Didn’t they start with weapons? How did they get down to talking about this?

“Why are humans incompatible with demonic qi?” He nudged her.

“They have weaker bases.”

“Indeed.” A hand settled on her cheek, as the man’s thumb slowly traced circles by her cheekbone.

 

Oh.

 

“Do you get it now, Yuan?”

 

Cold feeling rushed through her. As if someone had drenched her in a bath of ice. So, that’s what all of this has been about. Wu Yanzi was truly a cruel man.

“Shizun wants to see if teaching human children demonic cultivation from a young age.. Will turn them into demons.”

Shizun remained silent as his smile stretched. She felt her heart rate speed up, as suddenly thousands of thoughts were rushing through her mind. She hadn’t thought this was possible, after all—! Demons and humans were different races! But.. If the only biological difference between humans and demons were their foundations..

“Good girl.”

 

She recalled her bright turquoise eyes.

She recalled the time her teeth stabbed through her tongue.

She recalled as her nails sharpened into claws when she scratched against the wood.

 

“Shizun.”

“Hm?”

“Am I your first disciple?” Please, say yes. She begged in her mind.

“You are.” He said, but just as she was about to exhale in relief, “However, you’re not the first one I’ve experimented on. Before you.. I tried this theory with my daughter.” Yuan felt her heart crack. His daughter. His own flesh and blood. Hopelessly, she looked up deep into the man’s eyes. No, there was nothing. No regret or grief. Only.. Disappointment.

“She died.”

Shizun kept on talking.

“I didn’t know back then that qi deviations for pure demonic cultivators could only be settled with the use of demonic qi.” He grinned at that. Grinned at the thought of his daughter’s death. “She was dying for such a long time. Writhing on the floor like a worm.”

Right, this man was a monster.

Just because he now bought Yuan books, brushed her hair, and said that he’ll get her a weapon.. That didn’t change him. That didn’t change his past. Didn’t change his nature.

“Shizun, are you not sad?” She whispered. Wu Yanzi raised a brow.

“Why would I be?” Hah. Why did Yuan even.. Ask? “She had no talent. She was weak and frail, just like her mother. She showed no promise.. No future.” His gaze darkened, and then he leaned closer in and cupped Yuan’s face in both palms. The girl felt shivers crawl up her spine, “You? On the other hand. Are perfect. When Ye Zihan told me that he found a replacement for Wu Ruyin.. I didn’t think you’d live up to anything. And yet. Look at you.” He purred like a proud parent.

Everything was starting to make sense now.

“You can never leave me, Yuan. You saved me from that qi deviation yourself.” His tone changed. His hands slowly dropped from her face down to her neck, “The cultivation world will see you as a freak. They’ll want to get rid of you. But to me? You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect. I’ll protect you, I’ll keep you safe from them.” But what about you? 

“S-shizun..”

“Wu Yuan.” He spoke. Yuan’s breath hitched, “You’re the daughter I never got to have. Wu Yuan. My perfect girl.”

 

 

 

 

 

It took them two weeks to arrive to the Tieguo Village. The place was small, and nothing special compared to the other towns that they’ve been to. There were a couple of houses, some inns, and a small marketplace. Wu Yuan tried her hardest to ignore the street children that would dash away the moment she’d try to approach. Her mood quickly sourced, and a couple of milk candies which she had hidden in her palm suddenly felt like boulders. But she couldn’t blame the children for their fear, no matter how much it stung. So, instead, she wrapped the candies in a clean cloth and left them behind, hoping that the kids would eventually come back and find the treats. She wished that she could do more, but Shizun didn’t spare any extras on her (like food or money), so she had nothing to give.

Milk candies won’t save them, she knew that much, but.. They tasted good. There’s at least that.

What had caught her eye was the impressive shop which displayed robes and exquisite swords. A blacksmith, then. She knew that Wu Yanzi had good connections throughout whole China considering his fame, but it amazed her each time when she got to meet such talented individuals so casually face-to-face. Young Xiao Shi would have never believed this nonsense to be possible, no matter the proof! And yet, here she was. 

“Ah, look who it is! The man of demonic cultivation himself! Wu Yanzi! How may this humble one serve you today?” 

The man with long dark hair tied into a messy low ponytail leaned over the counter to peer at her Shizun like he was a piece of sweet candy. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to make of it, so she respectfully looked away.

The weapons which hung on walls or were left on displays were of various sizes, shapes, forms, and materials. Some were unique — who could have known that you could fight with a fan? she had only seen swords, mostly! — and others seemed even more impossible — that longsword was at least five times her size! — but what especially had caught her gaze were the blades crafted out of a shiny black stone. Somehow, she couldn’t help but think that they would have suited her Jiu-ge well.

“I need a weapon for my disciple.” Wu Yanzi nudged her ahead, and the girl stumbled in her step from sudden loss of balance. 

“This one greets respected Master. This one is called Wu Yuan.” She bowed her head in greeting, ignoring Wu Yanzi’s hiss at the quietness of her voice. He always hated how eery her presence was. Speak up, girl! He’d say, but wouldn’t do much otherwise. 

“Hm..” The blacksmith considered her for a moment, like he was solving a complicated puzzle. He then completely ignored Wu Yuan — as if she wasn’t even there — and turned to stare at Wu Yanzi, “She reeks of demonic energy. Is she a demon? Please, don’t tell this one that you’ve brought a demon to my shop.” 

The question made Wu Yuan shift from one foot onto another. Reeked..? She reeked of demonic energy? Just how noticeable was it?

“She’s not.” Wu Yanzi assured, “But this Master assumes that you understand why we’ve come.”’

“Wu Yanzi, don’t tell me you’re at it again..” If Wu Yuan didn’t know any better, she would have thought that the blacksmith dared to scold her Shizun. “Without spiritual energy she won’t be able to have a spiritual sword. She won’t be able to use sword arrays or fly.”

“Don’t test my patience.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get all angry on me.” The blacksmith put his palms up in the air, but didn’t seem too intimidated, “Wu Yuan, was it? Hopefully we didn’t scare you with our bickering. Someone needs to be a voice of reason for him, but Heavens, it definitely won’t be this old man! I have enough going on as is.”

She genuinely, really, did not care.

“Respected master, you do not have to speak to this one as if she’s a child.” Wu Yuan said back, and the man blinked once, twice.. Until a sudden grin sharpened his lips. Like a man had accepted on a challenge, although the said ‘challenge’ was a little girl.

“Woah, so grown-up and everything. I had assumed that you’re quite young, since you’re so small.” Wu Yuan ignored the jab, “Anyways, any weapons in mind? Preferences?”

“This one does not have preferences. This one will use a weapon that Shizun tells her to use.” Because she wasn’t stupid. None of this was about her or her choices. Wu Yanzi clearly came here with a goal in mind.

“Uh-huh..” The blacksmith did not seem impressed by her dismissive reply, but didn’t argue against it. “So, what does your Shizun say then?”

Wu Yanzi eyed the collection hung up on the wall, “Something small that she could easily conceal in her sleeves.. Or something that wouldn’t attract attention as a potential weapon.. A dagger or a fan.. Perhaps, needles.”

“Is she to be an assassin?” The blacksmith wondered aloud, but then coughed into his fist, “I m-mean, Wu Yanzi doesn’t have to tell me anything! In fact, I would really appreciate if you did not! This humble one is just a blacksmith-nobody, and would prefer to keep all of his limbs and head exactly where they are! Ha ha ha ha!” He nervously laughed, and Wu Yuan couldn’t help herself but cringe. This was a grown man — Have some balls! Don’t feed into Wu Yanzi’s ego! Pathetic! 

“You don’t need a tongue to make weapons, now, do you?” Her Shizun teased, but the blacksmith took his words as a genuine threat and began to sweat buckets. The display was quite hopeless.

“Shizun, are you sure this man is right for the job?” She deadpanned, and her Shizun let out a breathy chuckle.

“Oi! Little girl, shut your trap!” The coward slammed his palm down, but it didn’t even make her flinch.

“He has bizarre character, but he is a master at his craft. Do not disrespect your elders, Wu Yuan.” She knew that he scolded her out of obligation more than anything, so she played along to keep up some face for all who were present.

“Of course, Shizun.”

They stayed in the village for four months. Not much happened outside their usual routine. She was still cultivating and had her martial arts lessons. At one point, Wu Yuan had almost forgotten the reason for their stop. Wu Yanzi made sure that she was kept busy from the rise of dawn until the set of sun. She was tasked with cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner whenever she was close by. She was to accept tasks from the locals, she was to slaughter demonic beasts that were seen wandering through the forests, and most importantly — she had to deliver all materials that the blacksmith-bastard asked of her no matter how far or challenging. Wu Yanzi refused to pay for the weapon, so Wu Yuan had to come up with a ‘creative’ solution to the problem. But all she could do was.. Labour.

And the man — whose name she didn’t even bother to memorize out of spite — enjoyed every second of it.

“You call these Ruby-Horns? More like Piglets’ Horns! What the hell is this?!” The bastard didn’t even spare more than a quick glance as he threw the blood-soaked cloth back at the girl. She dodged at the very last second to avoid it hitting her head, and heard a crack as the sack hit the ground. All that work — fell to dust. What a dickhead! 

“There is no one out there who knows better than me what Flaming-Bulls look like! This is definitely Ruby-Horns!” She snapped, feeling her insides swirl with annoyance.

“Is that attitude I hear? Should this one tell your Shizun that you’re neglecting your side of the deal?” He sneered down at her.

Wu Yuan clicked her tongue, “When this is over, this humble one would recommend to sleep with one eye open.”

“Woah, a threat from someone who doesn’t even reach my shoulder!” He let out a breathy laugh, “Oh, I’m so scared.”

People have always told Wu Yuan that she was small. To tease her or make fun of her. Some young boys would even say so, thinking such would be a compliment. To Wu Yuan, it was yet another reminder that she was starved to the point of stunting her growth (somehow, she just knew that she was supposed to be much taller). It was the reminder of her thin bones that would easily snap under her Shizun’s harsh hold, of the joints that ached each day by the time night fell, of the hollow ache in her stomach that long ago learned that grumbling made no difference. If she had been a spiritual cultivator, maybe her physical shape would have improved. Maybe she would have gotten healthier. Demonic cultivation made her stronger, solidified her muscles, made her insides feel like clay, but this was no healing. Modification. Compromise. Molding. She might be stronger than the rest, she might have better foundations, (she might be a demon), but she was in pain everyday (but she was still human).

Even though Wu Yanzi had mentioned multiple times that Wu Yuan was someone who could easily slaughter men twice her size, the bastard-blacksmith did not care to take any of her harsh words to heart. After all, she was held on a tight leash by her Shizun, and as long as he had control over her, her jaws would bite only those he deemed necessary. The fucker knew that well, and oftentimes antagonized her in any way he could. Clearly, he wasn’t married! What kind of woman would put up with this nonsense!

“Bring me Ruby-Horns that are at least the size of your arm, girl.” The man said, and went back to polishing a blade on his lap.

She was dying to say another insult back at him, but she knew that any more confrontation and the man would dump five or six more beasts atop her shoulders for her to hunt. Better to suck it up now and obey, rather than suffer the consequences of a fleeting moment of glee. With a scoff, she turned around and left, already counting leftover coin from her pouch. Information was never free, and if she were to question yet another local, then she’d have to cough up money. Fuck! Fuck this! 

 

 

 

 

 

One thing about Flaming-Bulls, was that contrary to what their name might suggest, they hated warm climates. They migrated often, but mostly stuck around in the southern deserts, where the snow piles on uncleared paths could reach far above Wu Yuan’s head. She hated traveling in the colds or on the up-peak mountains, because that meant needing to make fire, having more food, and warmer clothes. Thankfully, she still had the furs which her and Shizun made after skinning a couple of Golden-Clawed Bears from the Qingliu Forests. With a huff, the girl tightly wrapped the soft furs around her shuddering form and plopped down on the ground before the small fireplace she made a couple of moments ago. She casted a small protective shield around it, so that the howling winds wouldn’t kill off flames before dark. 

She had been wandering the desert for about a week now in search of the Flamed-King. Flaming-Bulls traveled in groups, oftentimes led by their ‘King’. If that blacksmith-bastard wanted Ruby-Horns as big as her arm, then she had no choice but to take down the King himself. Which wouldn’t be easy. The Flaming-Bulls got their name from the fire which surrounded their tails and hoofs. Their eyes were dull and merlot, with an ability to paralyze predators (or their attackers) in place by locking them in a headspace of their regrets. Never look one in the eyes, her mind reminded her, or she’d be dead. Which.. Was strange. Why that was suddenly a concern.

She didn’t understand why sometimes the urge for death suffocated her, and other times.. She could breathe. Her suicidal thoughts would come and go, but they especially quieted whenever she hunted beasts and explored the world. Whenever Shizun was not around.

She was a hypocrite. Did she want to die or not? Why something that she could answer so clearly to Wu Yanzi before to his face, suddenly dulled when she was away and left to her own devices? 

No matter.

She watched the fire crackle, and hummed in thought. Running away was not an option. Shizun would find her, and then apply an insane method to bind her to him, so that she’d never try to defy his will again. At the moment, she still had his trust, even after the ocean-incident, with one mistake and it would all be gone.

“Why is he so obsessed with me anyway? Why did Ye Zihan choose me? Wasn’t he just looking for any child?” Why me?

Her mind circled back to the day she was picked out from the selection of the street rats. She had always thought that Ye Zihan choosing her amidst the crowd was foul luck, since when he asked the slavers whether she could read and write, he was willing to look at Jiu-ge instead of her for the presence of literate skills. If she hadn’t lied about her fluency, it was possible that she wouldn’t have been picked in the end. 

But even if she had the chance to go back in time, she would do it all over again. She would never let these men touch a single strand of hair from her Jiu-ge’s head. Wu Yuan would always protect him. Over and over again.

And then, a thought dawned on her. Because.. Ye Zihan did notice her due to her appearance. Her mind kept on spiraling. Ye Zihan and Wu Yanzi being sworn brothers. Martial brothers from a sect, under the same Shizun, both banished for the usage of dark arts. Ye Zihan — at his old age (even though he didn’t look a day over twenty-two) — with no wives or children, and Wu Yanzi — who once had a wife and a daughter — was now an unsettled soul that traveled the lands like a restless ghost.

Every time Shizun qi deviated (and that happened a lot), he called out to Wu Yuan with his daughter’s name. Huh..

Wu Yuan pondered more and more. The determined look in Ye Zihan for her to learn quickly, how she was kept in the house full of servants, but she was an only slave. How they did not exchange coin, Ye Zihan had given over Wu Yuan to Wu Yanzi as if he had been waiting for his sworn brother to come collect lost property. Right, hand’t he mumbled something about a letter that day?

And then, she thought about the unstable attitude of her Shizun. How during his qi deviations, he would talk to Wu Ruyin, with a sticky-sweet tone of an adoring father. Whenever sobered, he only had spiteful insults to say about someone who used to be his flesh and blood. Wu Yuan knew that he had tortured that poor girl to death for the sake of exploring demonic cultivation. But strangely, she also knew that he had loved his daughter dearly. How could one love and hate at once? Cut the flesh, and then bandage the wound?

But wasn’t that exactly what he had been doing to Wu Yuan as well? She recalled an instance of when Shizun had pushed her away after an embrace. He had just qi deviated, and was telling her to not leave him, when suddenly, he shoved her away as if she was a stranger.

There was a story to this. A clear parallel. And perhaps, if Wu Yuan cared enough, she would be able to put the pieces together, but..

Did all of this even matter? Was there a reason to know Shizun’s motives and thoughts? To excuse all he had done? To see the state of his mind? Her mind – was clear. She hated Wu Yanzi. (She hated herself, too). Finding out more about the man would only complicate things. Hate was plain and simple. It was straightforward.

It did not matter what happened in Shizun’s past. It did not matter why she was chosen amongst the others by Ye Zihan. It did not matter why Wu Yanzi could be scaling hot or freezing cold. None of that was important. It wouldn’t change today. It wouldn’t make tomorrow go away. The sun would still rise, and the moon would still fall. 

 

—Crack!

 

Wu Yuan’s head snapped towards the sound with her hand already atop her blades.

However, before her was not an attacker, but a beast. A familiar one at that. It had grown a couple of sizes since they’ve last met, but its twelve tails and white fur could not be mistaken. Wu Yuan gaped in shock. Was the creature utterly foolish? To approach her once more after she had almost killed it in a trap that day? But the books have said that Snow Foxes were especially appreciated for their heightened emotional intelligence. Some — with enough years of cultivation — could even develop an understanding towards human speech. Younger cubs, on the other hand, were sensitive to emotion.

“Go away.” She huffed, even though her curiosity only grew more and more. Wu Yuan imagined running her fingers through the soft furs and burying herself in the warm ball of fluff, “It’s you, isn’t it? So, why have you come? Have you not learned your lesson?”

The Snow Fox only stared at her with wonder in its eyes. Its irises sharp, but edges of eyelids round. Without any warning, it began to slowly approach further, and Wu Yuan started to contemplate what possible motive could there be.

“Are you hungry?” She thought, but that also made no sense. Snow Foxes could eat, but they mostly ate poisonous snakes and insects. Additionally, they were territorial creatures, so.. What was this one doing so far away from its home?

“What do you seek?” She thought about the jar of Black-Legged Bicolors hidden in her sleeve, and wondered whether the Snow Fox was after them. Could it smell them? But they were amphibians! No way! 

The Snow Fox tilted its head to the side and looked Wu Yuan up and down. She was definitely being judged, but there wasn’t any hostility. So, with a sigh, she hid her blades and gasped in surprise as all of Snow Fox’s twelve tails began to.. Waggle. Like a street dog’s after it received a treat!

“Did.. Did you hit your head?” She genuinely began to feel concerned, but the Snow Fox did not seem intimidated by the insult and instead waltzed towards Wu Yuan with a confident step, “What are you—?”

The silly creature didn’t let her finish as she found herself toppled to the ground with a massive Snow Fox burying its head into her neck. Its fur although softer than silk, was also unbrushed, and thus ticklish. Without any warning, Wu Yuan let out a breathy chuckle. Both her and the Snow Fox startled at the noise, but as if encouraged, its cold snout pressed under the girl’s ear and before she knew it she was being licked. Was it—? What was it doing?! So ticklish! Stop!

More forced laughter erupted from her, as she tried to gently push the Snow Fox off her, but she didn’t have it in her to use any force considering their unfortunate first meeting. The blue paws were careful not to press into her ribs, and she took a moment to appreciate that the silly creature had even retracted its claws. It seemed like it was genuinely simply trying to comfort her or play, same way one would with its cubs.

I could kill it right now. It would be so easy to stab my blade through its neck, and watch it bleed out— No. Stop that. You don’t want that. You don’t want to harm it. It’s just thoughts. Bad thoughts. Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking—

“Stop, hahaha, stop!” There were tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, and for a moment, it was easy to forget her cold and hunger, “Hahaha! What are you– What are you even doing! Haha! Get off, get off! Stop this! Haha!”

Eventually, the Snow Fox had retreated back, but not after giving Wu Yuan a generous lick across her cheek.

“You silly thing!” She puffed, trying to fix her now messed-up hair and robes, “What was all that about?” The Snow Fox continued to stare with its eyes turned into half-moons.

“You should know better, you know.. Humans hunt those like you. Especially people who.. Have similar energy to mine. You must be able to sense it, so why are you..” She sighed, remembering that Snow Foxes couldn’t actually talk back, “I should scare you off again, so that you can learn, but..” But she couldn’t possibly bring herself to do something so cruel towards a pure-hearted animal.

“I have no food to share, silly thing. I’m going to sleep.” She reached her palms towards the fire, hoping to warm up a bit more before the night, but the cold had seeped deep into her bones. She could barely feel a thing. Disappointed, she stretched herself out on the arranged bear furs to go to sleep.

However, just as she was about to close her eyes, something warm, huge, and fluffy decide to curl around her like a protective blanket. She gasped, as the twelve tails covered every inch of her body. She blinked her shock away at the forwardness that the Snow Fox has shown, but couldn’t help herself but snuggle further in. The corners of her lips twitched into a faint smile.

Warm. It was finally warm. And.. Safe.

Drowsiness quickly creeped upon her mind, as she thought back to the day she met this Snow Fox.

“Ah.. Have you come.. To say thanks? Is that why you’re here?”

She whispered, but only silence followed.

”Silly thing. Thanking your almost-killer.” 

 

Next morning she woke alone.

 

After she was done hunting down the Flamed-King, the blacksmith-bastard sent her after the Deathstalkers. The world kept on going, even though her mind kept drifting back to the Snow Fox, wondering where has it gone and how it was doing.

Hopefully, it’ll learn fear before something truly bad happens.

 

 

 

 

 

Time passed in a blurred constant, and Wu Yuan had just come back from another ridiculous rendezvous with a sack of Warped-Chihuahua’s Eyes and a flask with Northern Chaeriul’s Blood.. She found that the bastard-blacksmith was not alone in his shop. In fact, he seemed to be having an idle chit-chat session with her Shizun. The two men quickly turned their heads upon her arrival, but neither bothered to greet her. So, she spoke up first. 

“Shizun shouldn’t drink too much. It is bad for one’s cultivation.” She said coldly, as she eyed the bottles of rice and peach liquors on the counters, at least half were all empty. 

“Wu Yuan, this master’s cultivation is far too superior to be altered with a drop of liquor.” You don’t say, she thought bitterly. “What a sharp look! And we were just about to give you the good news!” She was tempted to roll her eyes. She didn’t.

“Your weapon is done, Wu Yuan.” The bastard-blacksmith spoke up. He reached behind himself, and lifted up something that looked a lot like—

“A fan?”

She asked, confused.

As a demonic cultivator, she couldn’t charge the fan with spiritual energy. Spiritual energy was absorbed by human cultivators through their spiritual-rich roots, however, her demon qi put up a strong resistance against any form of spiritual energy. She eyed the weapon with disappointment. As pretty as it was, in her hand,  it was nothing more than a mere accessory.

“I understand your confusion, little girl.” The bastard-blacksmith smiled, as he came up closer and crouched down. She hated that it made them face up eye-to-eye, “Why do you think I’ve been sending you out to collect so many materials?” He asked, and then.. The fan was split open, and the realization dawned on her.

The fan wasn’t just beautiful — it was gorgeous.

The fan ribs were smooth and sharp at the edges. When the fan was fully closed, it had a shape of a dagger. When opened — the surface (instead of usual silk or paper), seemed to be melted out of metal. It was hard, and heavy, but didn’t disrupt the art work which was carefully carved upon it. As she waved it around in her hand, she didn’t find the weight impossible to handle. The strain on her wrist was small, but she knew that with habit she would grow into it. The art piece, although held the main shape of a dragon with its body spread out through each section of the fan, was actually concealing numerous charms and curse marks carefully hidden through the dragon’s scales. The fan stank of resentment, but once settled in Wu Yuan’s palm, it seemed to calm like a weeping child in its mother’s hold. 

“What.. Is this?” She couldn’t help but ask. She had never seen a weapon like this before.

“This was made out of those beasts we’ve asked you to slaughter.” The bastard-blacksmith explained, his voice full of pride and joy. Although, he also seemed thrilled to be finally free of the weapon’s clutch. As a human with small level of cultivation, she couldn’t even imagine the spiritual drain such creation must have had on him. How was he even making these without hurting himself?! 

“When held in closed position—“ bastard-blacksmith continued, as she followed his direction and snapped the fan shut, “—it can be used as a knife. I made the fan ribs sharp at the tips. Maybe in the future you could even coat them in poison! But I decided not to do that.. This thing is scary enough!” He nervously laughed, “And now if you open it..” She did as asked, “Each character engraved upon it was made by Wu Yanzi himself. This fan will extract its energy from those it’ll harm and kill, and will converse it into demonic qi. Thus, it is compatible with you! Isn’t this one a genius?!”

“That.. Seems like too good to be true.” Wu Yuan admitted, her hesitance shown all over her face. Nothing was ever this easy.

“Of course.” Wu Yanzi finally spoke up from where he sat; his expression amused, “This weapon will crave blood and slaughter, and should you fail to provide? It will feast on you instead.” There it was. However..

“On me..?” She furrowed her brows.

“Ah, yeah. Blood, flesh, life force! It’s a greedy thing! And yeah! It seems that it was very quick to accept you as its owner! Look at how happy it is with you!” The bastard-blacksmith pointed at the fan, and Wu Yuan was surprised to see that.. She knew exactly what he meant. The fan was practically purring in her hold, and seemed to want to bury itself deep into her flesh — between her ribs — just as long as it could get closer to her.

Creepy.. But sweet. Loyal.

“And this?” She noticed small hole patches next to the sharp ends of the ribs. The bastard-blacksmith gasped.

“Ah, right! Wu Yanzi had also mentioned needles. You can use these patches to hide needles in them, and toss them.. Well. Quite far! But for that, you’ll need to learn how to use demonic arrays to manipulate objects, so I didn’t add them to the fan yet. However..” He searched through his robes, and pulled out a small pouch. Inside, lay long, sharp, but very thin blades. “You can have them. Add them later on, once you’ll master the technique. Until then, they’ll only get in the way. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” 

“This one thanks..” Oh, Heavens. She forgot his name.

The bastard-blacksmith seemed to have realized and only rolled his eyes, “Honestly, all this work on a disrespectful brat like you.”

“Wu Yuan, what will you name it?” Her Shizun cut through their chat, and Wu Yuan blinked in surprise at being given the honor.. She had thought Wu Yanzi would name the weapon himself, but.. It didn’t seem to be the case.

She looked down at the fan, and thought for a moment. The colors glimmered and changed in the light, the weapon had smooth sharp surface, possessed lethal hidden nature, and was capable of trapping souls.. To name something of such twisted kind.. Made out of so much blood, sacrifice, and pain. She hadn’t known that all the souls she slaughtered would be used this way. Never at peace, and forever, at her mercy.

“Qiu Hun.”

 

 

 

 

 

There was no time to celebrate the fact that she now had a weapon. Because this only meant that..

“Shizun!” She shouted at the man lazying in the back. The old bastard was leaning against the tree with a jug in hand, sipping rice liquor as he watched his disciple struggle against the Black-Moon Grizzly.

“You got it, Wu Yuan. You’ll be fine.” He called back out to her, and she didn’t have it in her to retaliate that she absolutely was not fine! There was already a huge gash in her arm, which only agitated the Black-Moon Grizzly to attack her further. 

“S-shizun! These beasts are very territorial! If we just leave its forest, then—!” She tried to argue her point, but it was right then that the Moon Grizzly dashed forwards with its jaws wide open. The girl gasped, and leaped back onto a tree branch. However, in panic, she didn’t balance on time and slipped — landing onto the ground — as a loud popping sound followed. She hissed at the sharp pain that spread through her ankle. The adrenaline helped her ignore the pain for the sake of staying focused, but one look away, and she was done for! 

“We are not leaving until you kill it.” Wu Yanzi repeated back what he already said multiple times before. 

This is bullshit! 

“And what if I just let it kill me, huh, Shizun?” She fired back, dodging just at the right second to the left. The Moon Grizzly swiped its claws at where she previously sat, but ended up destroying a tree instead. That would have hurt. Bad. 

“Wu Yuan.” Shizun’s voice darkened, “As long as you’re my disciple, I won’t grant you death.”

“Does Shizun mean that?” She hissed back, and stubbornly stood still.

Alright then, Shizun. 

She watched as the animal with a feral look in its eyes went straight after her. It was huge. At least the size of two, if not three, grown men. Its claws were larger than her head, its fur was thick and dark-blue like the night sky. Its eyes were sharp and set right at her — the prey. Its movements were not hesitating — they were going straight for a kill.

As much as Wu Yuan wanted to, she could never fault an animal for wanting to protect its home. She recalled how Jiu-ge used to fight with the street kids when they would try to steal their chosen spot. Rocks would get thrown around without any party holding back (and a couple of punches too). Such was a matter of nature. To survive, meant to protect oneself, your loved ones and your home. The Moon Grizzly was merely doing what was right. It was middle of spring, so perhaps it recently had its cubs. Wu Yuan hadn’t seen any personally, but she wouldn’t be surprised if this Moon Grizzly was a female based on its smaller complexion compared to what she had read about the local bears in books. 

Wu Yuan just hoped that her end would be quick. This wasn’t how she wanted to go. This wasn’t peaceful and planned. This was emotional and impulsive, but the end would be same, so it didn’t matter. With a sigh, she opened up her hand, and let Qiu Hun drop to the ground. The fan released a displeased slash of resentful energy for being treated with disrespect, but she couldn’t care less.

And so, she stood still. As still as trees, as still as water, as still as time.

 

SLASH!

 

Four things happened at one.

First, she did not die.

Second, there was a shadow looming over her.

Third, she felt hot, thick liquid spill over her head and drench her from head to toe like a waterfall. 

Fourth, her Shizun had never been this angry before.

She could feel the evil miasma spill off his form and coat the air around them with unimaginable fury. Fear. She hadn’t realized this before, but it has been a while since she genuinely feared the man. She had felt disgusted with him, disappointed, and at times even pissed off. But once more.. She remember. He was her Master. ‘Shizun’ was only a pretense. And just now.. She disobeyed his will. A slave had defied her owner. 

The Moon Grizzly dropped dead before her with its head rolling away across the ground. Oh, Heavens. Slowly, Wu Yuan peered down at her robes and rubbed her face clean off the liquid— Blood. She was covered, dirtied, marked with blood. All she could smell was iron, all she could feel was the fading warmth of life as death settled over her shoulders. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Unclean, unclean, unclean— 

“S-shizun—“ She tried to mumble an excuse, but a fist collided with her face hard enough to send her head spinning. Disoriented, she stumbled a few steps back and tried to correct her vision, but the world kept tilting to the side and blurring. The man slowly creeped forwards as she mirrored his movements by stepping back. A violent shake coursed through her body. He wouldn’t kill her. But he’ll make it hurt.

 

“Wu Yuan.”

 

Wu Yanzi spoke.

Monotone.

 

Then, he crouched down to pick up the Qiu Hun which had been left abandoned on the ground. The weapon lashed out at the man — displeased at being handled by someone who wasn’t its owner – but Wu Yanzi didn’t even flinch as his palm bled from the cut the fan had left behind.

“It seems I haven’t made myself clear.” He edged closer, and Wu Yuan once more stepped back, and to her horror, her back had hit a tree. She was trapped with nowhere else to go. “You’ve forgotten yourself, haven’t you?” She had. She knew that she had, but.. Heavens. Someone — if anyone could hear her — please spare this lowly sinner’s soul! Please, end this madness!

No more!

She was so scared! 

And without any warning — there was only a flash of movement — Wu Yuan felt sharp, piercing pain shoot through her shoulder. She didn’t scream at first. She felt struck dumb with the suddenness of the situation. And then, her gaze peered down to where the pain was pulsing from. Qiu Hun was stabbed below her collarbone, deep enough to poke out through her on the back side. It was hard to tell if she was bleeding (or how much) due to the blood of the Moon Grizzly and her own mixing together.

“SHIZUN! AH—!” And then, the time snapped back into motion. She stopped being a spectator, and was thrown into the present. Her heart leapt in horror and her lungs tightened from pure panic.

Having gotten some ‘pleasant’ displays out of his disciple , Wu Yanzi pulled the blade out, but didn’t even give Wu Yuan a moment to recover as he grabbed at the girl’s throat and pushed her down to the field of grass. Weakly, she fought with her legs — trying to kick him in the chest — but with a snap of his will she heard a loud crack. The previously twisted ankle, was now turned complete opposite way. She gaped. Her bone was outside her own body! Her bone! 

“AHHHHH!” The pain was nauseating. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. The only thing on her mind was pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.

 

Hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts hurtshurtshurtshurts—! IT HURTS! SO MUCH! HURTS HURTS! 

 

Qiu Hun purred with content as it lapped at her  blood and drank it up like fine wine. The sigils and edges of the fan ribs flashed with turquoise, bright enough to startle her eyes into closing. However, the moment she tried to move her head away, Wu Yanzi grasped her jaw and forced the girl to lock hereyes with his.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!” He screamed, and his hand tightened around her. A bit more, and he’ll break her further. “YOU’RE MINE. YOU DIE WHEN I TELL YOU TO. YOU LIVE WHEN I TELL YOU TO. YOU’RE MY PROPERTY, YOU’RE MY POSSESSION, YOU’RE MY DAUGHTER.”

Ah, there it was. The word she dreaded hearing the most. Her eyes stung, but tears did not spill. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. He won’t see her cry. Not because of him.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Sorry! This Yuan is sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry! Sorry! I’m sorry!” She pleaded and begged, as the man above her moved his hands once more.

She watched Qiu Hun dazzle in the moonlight as it twisted in Wu Yanzi’s hold with the sharp end pointed right at her chest. She heaved below him; her ribcage kept going up and down, up and down, up and down, at frantic speed. Was he going to kill her after all? Cut out her heart? Open up her ribs? Her forehead began to sweat; her arm numbed from the pain, “S-shizun.. I’m sorry.. Sorry.. Sorry! This stupid.. Moronic.. Idiot.. Yuan is sorrry.. S-sorry.. Sorry.. sorry..” 

Something seemed to calm a bit.

Wu Yanzi’s expression softened, and he peered down at her. She couldn’t read him. She had no idea what was going on through his head.

“That’s right. You’re a stupid one, aren’t you? Just like your mother was. You always needed a reminding and a good beating, until it would finally get into your head. You’ve always been like this, Yin’er.” Wu Ruyin. This again.

Shizun was having a minor qi deviation.

He always called out to his daughter during them. It seemed that Yuan was forced to keep living someone else’s fate in a sickening cycle. Residing in the shadow of the girl long gone. “But you’ll be good now, won’t you? You won’t try to leave me again, hm?” The hand holding Qiu Hun lowered, until something settled atop her head. He was petting her like a street puppy. Disgust rolled over her, but Wu Yuan laid still.

“Y-yes, Shizun.” She swallowed, “This Yin’er will be good.”

Something manic flamed up in his irises.

A mad man.

“Good. So good. Very good. Maybe even you can learn, Yin’er.” Wu Yanzi looked back at her mangled leg, “Ah, seems you’ve made a mess of yourself, but don’t worry. The healers will fix it. Remember how they fixed up that time your fingers were cut off?” That didn’t happen. “Or when I had to snap your nails off?” This didn’t happen either. “Surely, a broken ankle would be nothing. Don’t worry, Yin-yatou, I’ll make sure you don’t leave me this time.”

Wu Yuan swallowed a bile in her throat, and forced herself to nod. She could cut down beasts and slay monsters, but before Wu Yanzi..

She was truly powerless.

Just a kid. 

 

 

 

 

 

The moon was bright today. It wasn’t often that they travelled in the middle of the night. And the man never dared to skip a meal. Strangely, although her Shizun could practice inedia, he didn’t do it often. Something about how inedia was an art from the orthodox path, and demonic cultivators required other means to go without sleep and food. Maybe he just wasn’t good at it? 

“You won’t ask me where we’re going? Where did that tongue of yours go?” Shizun asked, and Wu Yuan was struck at the sound of his voice. Her body flinched against her, but thankfully, the man did not notice.

“This one will follow Shizun no matter where he goes.” It wasn’t like she had a choice. Nothing mattered anymore.

Wu Yuan began to lose interest in things she used to enjoy. She stopped reading books. She stopped sneaking out on walks. She didn’t even hum or talk anymore. She didn’t care anymore if the food she ate was plain, sweet or salty. She didn’t think about whether she was too cold or too warm at night. She wandered around like a feral corpse, simply floating along with the flow of life she didn’t want. She only spoke when spoken to, she did tasks she was ordered, she kept subjecting herself to demonic rituals and experiments even if they fried her meridians and sent her from one qi deviation into another. It was fine. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Her life didn’t matter. 

 

Her traitorous heart kept beating.

Her rotten lungs kept breathing.

 

“Aren’t you a loyal one.” Shizun snorted; not caring that the girl’s mental state was slipping worse than before. Why would he? She wasn’t going to try anything. Too afraid that the last confrontation would repeat once more.

 

She wasn’t human in his eyes.

She was Wu Yuan.

She was Yin’er.

She was Yin-yatou.

 

“Well, I’ll tell you anyway.” Wu Yanzi spoke. She barely acknowledged it, “Remember Ye Zihan?” How could she forget? The bastard used to beat her on a daily, although horrifyingly enough.. He treated her better than Wu Yanzi ever did. If she could choose, she might have even gone back.

“Yes, Shizun.”

“He has a cousin. Qiu Wenyan.” Ah, she heard of the man before. He was another famous demonic cultivator, especially in regard for hosting private ‘parties’ that could only be attended by those invited through sealed demonic scrolls. “Qiu Wanyan has a son and a daughter. Qiu Wanyan told me that his son can babysit you for a couple of days while I go away.”

That startled her.

“Shizun won’t take me with him?” She asked, genuinely shocked. The man almost never left her side anymore! Sure, he sent her out on missions every now and then that could take days or weeks to complete, but for him to drop her off and do the work himself? Never. Not even once in all the years she’s known him.

Suspiciously, she narrowed her eyes.

“I’ve been invited to an event, but I can’t take you along.” Right. The parties. “But you’ll be good and will wait for me, right? You don’t want to know what’ll happen if you try to run away.” He warned, and the girl sighed with a nod, “I warned him of your tendency to try and throw your life away. They said they’ll take precautions.” Were they going to lock her in a box or something? She wasn’t sure.

“I’ll be good.” She assured, but even she didn’t know how truthful she was being.

Well, she didn’t have any active escape plans. Where would she go? Even if she could hide for a small while, she had no allies. Eventually, Shizun would find her and bring her fate that was worse than death. Killing herself was also not an option. Wu Yanzi warned that next time she will attempt, he’ll grow a Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom body for her, and will bind it to himself with the soul-tie artifact. She shuddered at the thought.

“That’s my girl.” He patted the top of her head, and the two kept on walking.

“Shizun, we should really get a horse.” She suddenly blurted out. That got her a smack at the back of her neck.

“Shut it.”

“Apologies, Shizun.”

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, until Wu Yuan finally noticed the outline of the manor in the distance. She ignored the dull ache in her legs, and kept on walking, doing her best to not fall behind Wu Yanzi.

“Finally.” The man grumbled, and internally, Wu Yuan agreed. She wondered whether her Shizun never learned to use teleportation arrays. Then again, teleportation was a spiritual technique, maybe his demonic qi was restricting access towards it. How inconvenient.

As they reached the doorstep of the Qiu manor, the rich Masters were already aware of their arrival. They were greeted by Qiu Wenyan himself. There was nothing special about him. He had that eerie, untouchable look of an important person that all cultivators seemed to posses, but his face was average at best. By his side, stood both of his kids. They were clearly spoiled and completely unaware of who Wu Yanzi was. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be behaving like uneducated, rude assholes. Wu Yanzi didn’t say anything aloud, but Wu Yuan knew him well enough. He took notice.

“This is my son Qiu Jianluo, and my daughter Qiu Haitang.”Qiu Wenyan introduced his slow-witted children, who finally had the brains to bow to Wu Yanzi.

“This is Wu Yuan. My disciple.” Wu Yanzi introduced her back as his hand settled onto her shoulder. An itch made her want to shake it off. She stayed still. Be good, her mind told her, the satisfaction would not be worth it.

“Ah! The one mentioned in the letters..” Qiu Wenyan eyed her with a knowing look, “My son will take good care of her.” Then, he leaned closer. Wu Yuan felt herself subconsciously leaning to Wu Yanzi, “Actually.. You look similar to that slave boy we’ve got. A-Luo, can you go and fetch him? The similarity is uncanny!”

The words did nothing to help settle the brewing anxiety in her stomach. A slave boy?

“Yes, Fuqin.” Qiu Jianluo said in the most dissatisfied tone one could manage, and disappeared somewhere into the house.

“Well, let’s not stand out here in the cold. The servants have prepared a nice meal for us to enjoy. Wu Yanzi, you must tell me how the hunt after Gold Basilisk went! It has been ages since I’ve had some good reptilian liver-pudding.”

Qiu Wanyan invited them inside, and Wu Yanzi lightly nudged her shoulder forwards. She walked, one step ahead of her Shizun, as she eyed the grand walls and ceilings of the Manor. She was not foolish. Wu Yanzi probably also had a house like this somewhere, he just preferred the path of a rogue and hated sitting still in one place. However. This Manor was truly something. Even more grand than the one Ye Zihan had. From the main hall, they were led towards the dining room. She gaped at the countless dishes, sides, and mains that were laid out before them. Her nose itched from the strong scents of spices and fresh meat, but her stomach quickly disagreed as wave of nausea pulsed up her esophagus. Right. Not like she was planning on eating much to begin with. Her appetite had been terrible since her last qi deviation that was two weeks ago.

And then, she heard something loud clatter to the floor. The chatter between adults died down, and slowly, she turned her head to look towards the commotion. The boy was dressed in nice, humble grey robes. His hair was brushed back into a low, single braid. His form was slim, his wrists as brittle as sticks, but he had at least a head over her in height. However, those details weren’t what caught her eye. It was the boy’s face. The familiar scowl, bright-green irises, the sharp jawline and thin lips.

“Ge..?” She whispered, wondering if it was a dream. The two of them stared at one another as if lost in a dream. However, everything snapped back to reality when—

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Qiu Jianluo — the rich, slimy rat — threateningly looked down at the boy like he was a piece of trash. He was clearly holding himself back; taking into an account that they have an audience, but Wu Yuan had been raised with violence all around her. She had been passed from one abusive man to another. She could easily recognize the signs in an instant, “Can you not even hold a tray?”

“A-Luo! Don’t be so mean to A-Jiu! He is still sore from his fall down the stairs!” Qiu Haitang spoke up, and Wu Yuan gaped at the stupidity (no, not stupidity, this was ignorance) that one could possess.

“Meimei, I’m just upset, since this was a meal for our honored guests.” The snake quickly defended himself, but their chatter was not important to her. Instead, Wu Yuan took careful steps towards her brother with a desperate look in her eyes.

All this time, she imagined that her brothers got away. That they left to cultivate in sects and have been busy with their studies for many years. Now, she had no choice but to be confronted that.. Jiu-ge was.. Here.

“Gege, is that you?” She asked, hopeful, fragile. The boy took a shaky breath in, but before he could answer—

“Wu Yuan has a brother?” Wu Yanzi spoke up. Wu Yuan was startled at how close the man had gotten to her without her realizing.

“Yes, Shizun.”

“Hm.” She studied the man’s expression.. But he didn’t seem angry at the discovery. In fact, he looked intrigued. “How much for that slave boy?” Wu Yanzi asked Qiu Wanyan. Before the man could answer, the spoiled princess ran up in front of Wu Yuan with her chest puffed out like a proud peacock.

There was a pout on her face, and Yuan had an urge to slap away, “Hey! You can’t buy him!” She announced with a bratty whine, “Don’t even think about it!”

“Oh? Why not?” Wu Yanzi entertained the spectacle. Somehow, he had more patience than Wu Yuan today.

“Because me and A-Jiu are in love! We will get married one day!” Wu Yuan flinched at the words, and locked her eyes with the boy, “Right, A-Jiu?”

”Engaged? To a slave?” Wu Yanzi raised a brow, at which Qiu Wanyan sighed and shook his head; his expression saying ‘I’ll explain in privacy’. Wu Yuan felt her heart squeeze. 

 

Gege..

Oh, gege..

 

“I..” The boy fell silent. Heavens. It was truly him. This was her gege. Jiu-ge. There was no doubt in Wu Yuan’s mind. He had grown up so much. If he wasn’t malnourished, he would be so handsome. No, he was already handsome. No wonder that brat was trying to claim him as her husband, “Y-yes..”

“See?” Qiu Haitang spoke up, sick pride smearing her tone, “But if she is truly A-Jiu’s sister.. Perhaps, she can stay around? Or visit?” She suggested. Was this the sick version of an olive branch? Wu Yuan was going to be sick.

“Alright, alright, kids. Why don’t you sort this out in your own time!” Wu Yanzi cleared his throat, and just as he was about to head to the table, he turned to speak to his disciple.

 

“Why don’t we first sit and enjoy this delicious meal, mn?”

Notes:

hope yall enjoyed <3
have an amazing day/night! stay safe out there !

Chapter 4: A bad person

Summary:

She hadn’t prepared herself.

Qiu Jianluo’s hands were deep in Jiu-ge’s robes, with the upper grey layer already laid down crumpled on the ground. Her brother had been pushed to the bed, his hair a mess, and his breathing unstable. There was a wild look in his eyes and blood beneath his fingernails. As a match to the evidence, Wu Yuan caught a glimpse of healing scratching on Qiu Jianluo’s face and neck.

“Meimei! Get away from here!”

Notes:

• TW/CW for the following chapter: attempted rape (not detailed), mentioned past rape (not detailed), panic attacks, PTSD, unhealthy relationship, power imbalance, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, murder attempt, murder, mentioned physical child abuse, emotional child abuse, sexism, Wu Yanzi’s behavior towards Yuan is very disturbing, possessive, and creepy, however, nothing romantic or sexual happens between them, blood & gore.

Wu Yuan had many questions. Why was her gege here? What happened to the other kids from the streets? Where was Qi-ge? Why was he marrying that bratty princess? Were they really in love?

From the look that Jiu-ge was giving her, he had many questions too. However, they couldn’t talk right now. Not in the presence of the Qiu family where every action and word was being closely watched. They had to find a moment alone. At night? Most likely.

After Wu Yanzi, Wu Yuan and the Quis had their meal together, each group went their separate ways. Wu Yanzi and Qiu Wanyan left for the library to exchange stories and reminisce about the ‘old days’. Qiu Haitang had to leave with one of her personal tutors who had come over to practice her guqin play. Jiu-ge disappeared into the shadows, but Wu Yuan didn’t worry much. They would talk again. In fact, she was not leaving without him. She had already decided that much. Now, only Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yuan had remained in the eerie dining hall. The two stared at each other like unmoving statues.

“To think that rat had siblings. And a girl no less.” Qiu Jianluo snorted, and took a ‘threatening’ step forwards. Wu Yuan didn’t step back. This lump of meat with ego that was bigger than his dick could ever be couldn’t hurt her even if he’d try. She had met truly terrifying men — Ye Zihan, Wu Yanzi, the slavers. This over-grown scarecrow could only hope to one day be able to form a foundation of a Golden Core, “You look exactly like him. Fascinating.” Even when her and Jiu-ge were kids, Qi-ge used to always say that if they hadn’t been a boy and a girl, then they would be mistaken for identical twins.

“Jiu-ge is not a rat. He is a far more respectable person than you’ll ever be.” Wu Yuan did not fear disrespecting this trash. Her Shizun wouldn’t punish her for such misdeed.

“You dare—?!” Qiu Jianluo raised his palm to strike her, but she easily caught his wrist. There was an urge to crack his bone, maybe even strike at his meridians (corrupt them with her demonic qi until they’d rot), but she held back. Not yet. These pigs would get what was coming for them. All in its own time.

“Shizun wouldn’t be happy if you did something to me. Think before you act.” Wu Yuan harshly pushed him back. Qiu Jianluo scowled at her. Being bossed around by a girl who was below his shoulder must have been embarrassing.

“You b-bitch!” He stuttered out; going all red in the face from fury, “As if I don’t know why he has you as a disciple!” He pointed his finger at her head. It would be easy to slice it off with Qiu Hun. Would Qiu Jianluo even have time to blink? Probably not.

“Oh? Pray tell.” She crossed her arms over her chest and raised a brow.

“You’re his little whore, aren’t you? That would make sense. Like brother like sister.” Her face darkened after his words. She watched as perverted eyes trailed over her form, and hissed in disgust.

“Shizun would never disrespect me like that.”

It was weird to be defending Wu Yanzi out of all people, but it was true. In fact, the man had even protected her in the past from the creeps and once blinded an old creep who had made a vulgar comment about her body. 

Who could have thought that Wu Yanzi would be righteous in some ways, and despicable in others?

“Don’t lie.” Qiu Jianluo snorted, clearly not believing a word she was saying, “You’re his only disciple and a girl. Why the hell would he choose you otherwise if not for your face? Girls are weak. They have no natural talent for cultivation.” And this brat has a sister? Fucking hell.

“I wouldn’t theorize on reasons behind my Shizun’s wisdom.” It wasn’t like she could say that she was sold to Wu Yanzi from his sworn brother. In fact, her discipleship was merely.. A coincidence. Play of fate.

“Don’t throw pretty words around, bitch. You can dress nice and braid ribbons, but I can see you for who you are.” Qiu Jianluo leaned in closer once more, and she hated that she could almost feel his body heat on her, “You have the same hungry look in your eyes as your scum of a brother. The one that belongs to an abandoned street rat.” He snorted, “I guess there is no doubt that you’re related.” 

She could take insults all day. Wu Yanzi had long made her immune to those, but involving her brother had hit a personal strike from deep within that even she couldn’t handle. Wu Yuan pushed the other teenager away from her personal space, and dusted her shoulder as if her palm had been dirtied. He eyed her movement with resentment.

“If you insult Jiu-ge in front of me one more time.” She lowered her tone, “You’ll regret it.”

It wasn’t just a promise, but a fact.

“As if you can do anything. If I tell my Fuqin you did something to me..” He trailed off.

“Your father wouldn’t go against my Shizun.” She shrugged, “And harming me would be the same as insulting him.” Because Wu Yuan was his possession. He was the only one allowed to lay hands on her, in his twisted mind. But once again, Qiu Jianluo didn’t need to know that.

“We’ll see about that.” He scoffed, and finally stormed away into the endless hallways.

One of the maids had approached her after a while to lead her towards the room that she was going to be staying in. The bedroom was simple, but nice. It reminded her of the ones they’d rent out in the more expensive inns, where the beds were bigger, had prettier sheets and softer pillows. She eyed the table which already had a set of brushes, scrolls, and empty talismans laid upon it. There was also a privacy screen with an art work of a willow tree and a lotus pond. Carefully, she traced the outline of thick, black brush strokes with her finger-pads, up until a small creek hollowed through the door. She had thought it was her Shizun, because the intruder didn’t knock, but no. The man always waltzed in with confidence and wide-spread shoulders. The stranger’s presence was much more shy and quiet. If it had been her Shizun, he would be already breathing down her neck. Maybe it was her gege, but the thought was also quickly dismissed. Jiu-ge was clearly Qiu family’s slave, and it would be odd if they were not working him during the day. Instead, when Wu Yuan turned around to face the newcomer, before her stood— 

“Qiu-guniang.” Wu Yuan bowed, trying not let her conflicting emotions show.

Qiu Haitang was a pretty thing. She wore expensive, peach robes with matching ribbons braided into her hair. Her locks were shiny as silk and brushed smooth, put away into a low ponytail with a few small braids parted in the middle. She had multiple hairpins — silver and rose-gold — peeking out from the top of her head, many with dangling charms and sparkling stones. Her entire look was complimented with light eye makeup, lip tint, and shining earrings which matched her misty-grey eyes. Pretty, pampered, young mistress. Her hands were soft and unscratched; she probably never washed a basket of vegetables in her life.

“A-Yuan!” Wu Yuan did not let it show how she felt about the address, “I thought that we should have a talk.” Without any elegance, the girl strolled in uninvited and sat down right in the middle of Wu Yuan’s bed. Well, this was a guest room in Qiu Haitang’s house, not like Wu Yuan could say much about the decorum of her behavior, “Are you really A-Jiu’s sister?”

“Yes, I am.” She confirmed it.

So, that’s what this was about.

“A-Die bought A-Jiu long time ago from the slavers, and all this time he had never mentioned having a sister. Sure, the two of you look alike, but are you sure you aren’t lying?” The remark about never being mentioned had hurt, but.. Wu Yuan had to be reasonable. Jiu-ge most likely had thought her dead.

“I am certain, Qiu-guniang. We were separated when I was very young, but I would never forget my brother’s face.” She had only been five back then, and now.. She was thirteen. Jiu-ge must be fifteen. It has been.. Eight years. Eight long, miserable years. Years spent yearning and wondering.

“Do you care about him still? It has been a long time.”

What was up with all these questions?!

Wu Yuan frowned, “Of course.”

Qiu Haitang hummed, and then leaned back. She seemed to think about something for a while, until an idea sparkled in her mind, “Oh, I know!” Wu Yuan tilted her head to the side in confusion, “Well, I don’t want to force you two apart after such long separation, so I have an idea!“ She then grinned, “I always wanted a little sister!”

“P-pardon?” Wu Yuan honestly could not understand the workings behind this girl’s mind.

“Silly!” Qiu Haitang chuckled at her expression, “You should marry my A-Luo of course!” Wu Yuan felt a knot twist in her stomach, “It would be a good match! Your Shizun is friends with A-Die, and you’re a strong cultivator from what I heard! And most importantly — you have a pretty face!” The girl then had the audacity to get up and pinch Wu Yuan’s cheeks as if she were a toy. The touch burned, and Wu Yuan had almost slapped her.

She took a deep breath in, and out.

“Qiu-guniang. This one must humbly refuse such offer.” She tried to sound as respectful as possible. However, the girl looked at her as if Wu Yuan had just now kicked a puppy.

“Why? Don’t you want to be here with A-Jiu? Don’t you want a jiejie? A-Luo would be such a good husband as well! Please, just think about it, A-Yuan! We could all be family!” Heavens, this girl was almost at the edge of tears! This was definitely not Jiu-ge’s type in women! Unless her gege had a drastic personality change, she could never imagine him falling for such a crybaby!

“This one.. Will consider.” Ah, it didn’t matter if she said no or yes. She was confident that Wu Yanzi would never give her away, so this entire conversation was a waste of time.

“Thank you, A-Mei!”

Who is your A-Mei?!

As the night fell, Wu Yuan sneaked out of her room and crept across the hallways. The respected guests and masters of the house slept on the second floor, servants on the first, and slaves were in the basement. The layout was similar to Ye Zihan’s manor, so she found it easy to orient herself through the creaks and corners. Eventually, as she checked through every door, she had finally found what she had been looking for. Jiu-ge sat before a bronze mirror — a luxury probably gifted by Qiu Haitang — as he combed his hair and smoothed out osmanthus-scented oil through each spilling lock of ink. They beautifully framed his face like a clouded waterfall amongst the up-peak mountains. 

“Jiu-ge.” She gently called, and watched as the other jumped up from where he sat. Instantly, the comb in his hand dropped and he rushed to her; crushing her in a tight hug.

“Meimei.” He whispered back, and suddenly..

 

Everything became real.

 

She found him.

 

They found each other.

 

A hand went up to cup the back of her head, and if she didn’t know any better, she would have thought that her gege was crying. But Jiu-ge would never. For as long as she could remember herself knowing him, he was always as vicious as a fox and as strong as a bull. He wouldn’t cry at finally seeing his stupid meimei! So stupid, that she got them all separated.. So stupid, that she brought all of the misfortune upon herself..

“G-ge..” She wasn’t going to cry. Her vision might have blurred, and maybe she felt more heavy than usual, but she wouldn’t dare cry. She was strong. Jiu-ge raised her better than this. And Shizun would only relish at the sight.

“It’s okay, meimei. Gege is here.” The words seemed to have sealed a gaping wound in Wu Yuan’s heart. She melted into the hug.

Eventually, the two of them collapsed onto the bed and curled around each other like two protective cats. They lay like that for a long time. Every now and then, her gege would stroke her back, and she would cradle her fingers through his hair.

“You know, you are living life of luxury for a slave. When I was working within the manor I could never dream of a room!” She chuckled. It was bittersweet. Her chest throbbed. “Don’t even get me started on the hair oils, bronze mirrors and.. These robes..” She absentmindedly patted the fabric of his collar. It might be grey to outline his lower status, but the quality.. 

“Meimei should know that everything has a price.” Jiu-ge replied back, and she shuddered. Of course she knew that. “And you’re the one to talk! You’re paraded around as a prized disciple of Wu Yanzi himself. How in the world did you achieve that, xiao-jiaohu.” He teased her back, but she knew that behind the playfulness was genuine concern. ‘What happened to you?’ It said. ‘Tell your gege everything.’ It pleaded.

“It.. Wasn’t easy, ge.” She admitted. “It has been very.. Very hard.”

Jiu-ge pulled her back, “Meimei, be honest. Has Wu Yanzi hurt you?” She snorted at that. Of course he has.

“Ge.. In this world, the only ones who haven’t hurt me are you and Qi-ge.” And as she said it, she was struck, “Ge.. Where is Qi-ge?” Her gege looked pained at the question, as if she nudged a knife between his ribs.

“I don’t know.” He confessed. After a short pause, he began to speak, “The Qiu household bought me and Qi-ge three years ago. There was a moment when Qiu Jianluo locked me in the shed to keep us from escaping when we had the chance, but.. I told Qi-ge to go. Lied to him that even if he managed to break down the door I wouldn’t be able to come because my legs were broken.. That moronic softie.. He would never leave unless I did something bizarre. He told me that he’ll come back for me. But.. It’s been years, meimei.”

“Why hadn’t he?” Wu Yuan asked in a small voice. She knew why. Qi-ge was either hurting or dead. She asked the pointless question anyway. “M-maybe.. Maybe he’s just..”

“Meimei.” Jiu-ge cut her off. The topic seemed to be especially painful for him. So, for now, she dropped it.

“Ge.” She gathered herself, “I am not leaving without you.”

“There is nothing you can do.” Jiu-ge dismissed her, “They already denied Wu Yanzi his proposition to buy me out. What else could be done?”

“We kill them.”

At first, Jiu-ge said nothing. For a long moment, he stared at her as if he had no idea who he was looking at. However, Wu Yuan did not retract her words. She waited patiently. Sure. She was not the same cute meimei who had ran around the streets stealing sweets from the stalls for her Jiu-ge and Qi-ge. He also was not the same gege who scratched and bit at the other street kids for daring to steal their blankets before cold nights. They’ve grown. They’ve been hurt more than ever. More than one could have imagined was possible. She hadn’t had her gege around to do the scratching and biting for her.

She had to learn to hurt others herself.

Somewhere in the distance she could hear the pigs tearing apart flesh.

“Jiu-ge doesn’t have to do anything. I can kill them all myself. They’ve hurt you, hadn’t they? I heard what that dirty dickhead Qiu Jianluo was saying about you.. I can have them all pay. So, please, ge.. Jiu-ge.. Let me do this for you. Let me save you.”

She was ready to get down on her knees as long as it meant that he would accept her help. She knew that he hated this. It was hurting his pride to be the one protected by her and not the other way around, but they were not choosers of their fate. They had to look out for each other. That was the only way. 

“Meimei.. You shouldn’t..”

“This meimei already took many lives.” She argued, trying to sound reassuring, but only more horror crept up on her brother’s face. “What’s a couple more? Her hands are already dirty. No soap will ever scrub them clean.”

“Meimei..” Gently, he cupped her face. She felt a gentle pulse of spiritual qi, but her demonic energy instantly lashed out against it. Jiu-ge’s face fell even more. “What happened to you.. What has that man done to you..”

“Gege shouldn’t worry. Let this meimei worry about you for once in her life. Let her do one good thing. The least of what she can do.” She lowered her eyes, suddenly feeling too ashamed to keep up the eye contact. What if Jiu-ge saw her as a monster? As a beast? What if he decided that there were no more traces left of the sister he once knew?

“Okay.” His agreement startled her, “But don’t kill any women. And.. We will have to plan. We can’t just.. Slaughter everyone. We need to strategize, so that we can minimize the damage, got it?” Ah, there he was. Always the schemer.

Wu Yuan couldn’t hold back a small smile, “I’ll do as gege says. I’ll follow his plan.”

“Good girl.” Jiu-ge’s shoulders slumped in relief,  “Meimei.. I’m sorry. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” How could you have been? Her mind thought. You were barely surviving yourself. Don’t put me above you. Meimei is not frail and innocent anymore. “I am sorry that you had to.. Resort to this to protect yourself.” She wondered whether he meant the violence or demonic cultivation.. Or both.

“Is.. Jiu-ge disgusted?”

“Heavens, no. I could never be. I just wish we had better lives, meimei. Better opportunities.”

“Me too, ge.. But.. It is not too late for you. You’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.” If he had noticed that she did not speak of herself, he made no indication of correcting her or asking any further. They were both emotionally drained, cuddled up on the bed, clinging to each other the same way as they did years ago.

 

 

 

 

 

Wu Yanzi and Qiu Wanyan have planned to leave in two days. They didn’t spare the details of their trip, but Wu Yuan already knew everything she needed to know. It was going to be a party for demonic-cultivators (or enthusiasts) only, and by the sound of it, some individuals from the upper cultivation realm might be in attendance as well. Just how many so-called ‘honorable immortal masters’ were in secret stashing their treasuries with cursed artifacts and demonic scrolls? Too many for it to be righteous, that’s for sure. Perhaps Shizun was not taking her along for her own sake. No matter.

Wu Yuan and Jiu-ge didn’t speak much since their midnight talk. They knew not to attract too much attention to themselves. They’d pass by each other in hallways like strangers. Nobody could suspect a thing, or Jiu-ge might come to harm. And if that shall happen.. Wu Yuan wasn’t sure she could be held accountable for her actions.

“Wu Yuan.” Shizun cleared his throat, “Wu-guniang, Wu Yanzi spoke highly of you in his letters. His compliments are not something that can be earned easily.” Qiu Wanyan gave her a sly look, “Which is why I have a favor to ask of you.” Ah, favors. Never good.

But of course, she couldn’t outright reject the man as he was good friends with her Shizun, so she played along, “What would it be, Master Qiu?”

“My daughter, although talented in spiritual cultivation, is quite behind on her martial arts. I am not expecting her to pick up a sword and fight battles, but it would reassure this old father if he knew that his daughter could defend herself should the need ever arise.”

Wu Yuan? Teaching? That’s certainly a new one. She wouldn’t even know where to start. Although she had two teachers in her life — Ye Zihan and Wu Yanzi — even she knew that the way they taught her probably wouldn’t work with the young mistress. Qiu Haitang couldn’t be beaten, and most of the knowledge Wu Yuan had learned through her life had been forced upon her with a crack of a whip or a hard smack.

Still, Wu Yuan knew that she was good with agility and defense. Most of the time, she won practice matches and underworld competitions by managing to time small attacks in correct weak spots, rather than by overpowering her opponent with pure strength. Perhaps, her style of doing things would be compatible with the little miss.

“Very well.” She nodded, and watched as Qiu Wanyan smirked, “I shall have practice spars with Qiu-guniang and will teach her some self-defense techniques without the use of spiritual power, so that our qi streams don’t clash. As a spiritual cultivator, she might be more sensitive to the backlash, but this one will ensure that no harm comes to Qiu-guniang. However, results depend on her efforts alone.”

“Of course, of course.”

Two days later, the Elders left, leaving their children, servants, and Wu Yuan alone at the Qiu Manor. Wu Yuan had pondered on the ways she could kill herself, but quickly dismissed the idea. Now that she knew where Jiu-ge was and that he needed her help, she wouldn’t dare abandon him. She had to get him to a good cultivation sect — no matter what. And Wu Yuan wasn’t one to walk out on her promises.

Teaching the spoiled princess was no fun. The girl wasn’t evil or anything, however, she had incredibly short-temper and hated when she couldn’t get things right the first time. Wu Yuan’s style required constant attention and accuracy, which was hard to achieve for someone who hadn’t had their survival instinct activated even once in their entire life. Qiu Haitang never had to fight for her next breath, and it showed. There was no adrenaline or thrill in her movement. It was all robotic and mechanical, as if she were merely a doll moved by with the strings. On the third day, Wu Yuan had almost reached her limit after Qiu Haitang had asked for a fifth break only an hour into their session. They have only done a warm-up and barely completed a meditative session! They didn’t even get to the actual lesson! First, her arms hurt, then, her head felt dizzy from the sun, afterwards, she mentioned her feet feeling sore.. Within the span of fifteen minutes.

“Qiu-guniang, this one is not teaching you because she’s being paid. I am doing Master Qiu a favor since he inquired after me personally, but I did not promise results. If your esteemed self doesn’t want to study — then don’t.” She tried to put as much jab as she could into the ‘esteemed self’, hoping that it would slap the girl across her face, “This is not my problem.”

“Hey!” Ah, it seemed that it did! “Not everyone is a genius like you, okay?! I already told A-Die that martial arts is not my force, but he insists on it!”

“Well, I believe that Master Qiu has a good point. There are a lot of people out there with bad intentions.” Now that Wu Yuan thought about it, Qiu Haitang was surrounded by lowest scums on earth. She wouldn’t even need to look too far. Blind girl.

“Now you sound just like A-Jiu.” The girl groaned, “He always tells me to be careful, especially around men!”

“My brother has always been wise.” Wu Yuan said in a cold tone. Qiu Haitang didn’t seem to notice the iciness as she continued to ramble on. 

“He can be silly too.” She argued, “Otherwise, why would A-Jiu tell me to be careful around my own gege? Absurd. Gege has known me since I was a baby! What could he even do?”

An uncomfortable feeling pulsed through Wu Yuan’s gut. She was young, but not dense.

“He said that..?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion which the other girl didn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah. Honestly, it was very strange. One time I shared some peach wine with him, and he started telling me that he ‘can’t always cover my back’, and that gege sees me ‘as a woman, not a sister’.”

She snorted, like this was a joke. As if she was telling a funny story. Meanwhile, Wu Yuan felt cold shivers run up her back.

“Since then, I haven’t allowed A-Jiu to drink even a drop! He starts speaking complete nonsense! One day, he’ll completely embarrass himself because he can’t handle a drink.. He’s so adorable. But it’s okay. Once we are married, I’ll look after his health like a good wife should.”

At the lack of response from Wu Yuan, Qiu Haitang seemed to have finally noted that something was amiss.

“..Hey, are you okay?” Qiu Haitang approached Wu Yuan, carefully pushing a lock of hair behind her ear to take a better look at the younger girl’s face, “You look a bit pale. Do you want to head inside? The heat is quite strong today.”

Wu Yuan startled back into the present.

“Hm.. Qiu-guniang. Stay here. In fact, why don’t you circulate your qi while you wait? I forgot something in my room. I’ll be right back.”

“..Okay..”

Wu Yuan needed a moment to breathe. She might have been outside, but the air was suffocating her from inside out. What has that bastard done?! What has he dared to do to her brother?!

‘You’re his little whore, aren’t you? That would make sense. Like brother like sister.’

The words of that dickhead flashed through her mind, but more memories rose up, and suddenly, she felt herself slowly sliding down the wall to her knees. The ringing in her ears dulled out the world around her; trapping her in her own hell.

 

“Don’t.. Touch.. Me..” She remembered herself whispering long ago, but the man’s movements didn’t stop. Before she knew it, she was lifted off the floor and laid upon the sheets like a prized possession.

“Stop talking.” Was the only rasp she got back, as a palm pressed over her mouth and nose. Blocking all air. 

 

She couldn’t breathe back then.

 

She couldn’t breathe now either.

 

“Gege.. This meimei has failed you..” She wheezed out while pulling her knees close to her chest. They were only children. Why must their fates be so rotten?

 

Determination racked her.

 

No matter what — she was going to save Jiu-ge.

 

 

 

 

 

Wu Yuan knew that the sight that would greet her would be bad, but she still hadn’t expected it to crumble her world to dust the way it did. It has been almost a week since Shizun left, and five days since her conversation with Qiu Haitang, but she didn’t think that reality would come crashing down so soon. Her and Jiu-ge were still devising a plan, talking strategies, figuring out the future, but as she stood there.. Frozen still..

She hadn’t prepared herself.

Qiu Jianluo’s hands were deep in Jiu-ge’s robes, with the upper grey layer already laid down crumpled on the ground. Her brother has been pushed to the bed, his hair a mess, and his breathing unstable. There was a wild look in his eyes and blood beneath his fingernails. As a match to the evidence, Wu Yuan caught a glimpse of healing scratches on Qiu Jianluo’s face and neck.

“Meimei! Get away from here!” Her brother’s voice snapped her out of a gaze, as all of a sudden Qiu Jianluo was already up on his feet heading straight at her, “MEIMEI! LISTEN TO ME!”

Jiu-ge looked like he had seen a ghost. Hastily, he tried to gather his robes and climb — crawl — towards her, but she ignored him. Her sole focus was on the pig posing as a human. Cattle.

“What were you doing to my gege just now?” She asked, her voice chilling and cold. Qiu Hun pulsed in her sleeve; sensing her bloodlust. For a moment, Qiu Jianluo’s faced blended with another’s.

 

 

‘Something wrong, A-Yuan?’

‘Why is the tea so sweet?’

 

 

“Nothing I haven’t done before.” Qiu Jianluo snickered, and Wu Yuan snapped out of a memory, back to present. She felt her hand twitch and knuckles crack, “Although, I have to admit, your face is far more pleasing. Softer, gentler. I always told him that he would have been beautiful as a girl.” She watched slowly as Qiu Jianluo creeped closer, like a predator who was closing in on his prey, “If you decide to lay with me instead of him, then perhaps I’ll consider letting him go. For now.”

Yeah. Come closer. Come closer and find out what happens then, Qiu Jianluo.

The moment his fingers ghosted the outline of her cheek, she extended her hand and let Qiu Hun fall out of her sleeve into her palm. With a blink, blood splattered onto her face, and Qiu Jianluo froze up in shock. In disbelief, his eyes landed on what used to be his hand, but was now a dull, cut-off limb.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?! AAHHHH!”

Without thinking, Qiu Jianluo reached into his robes for a dagger to stab her right through her face, but having seen that coming, she snapped Qiu Hun open and blocked the attack with the fan. Enraged, Qiu Jianluo tried to kick her in the stomach, but she easily stepped aside.

“WHEN MY FATHER HEARS OF THIS, YOU’LL BE BEGGING FOR MY FUCKING MERCY, YOU BITCH!”

Qiu Jianluo reacted surprisingly quickly. He caught onto the severe blood loss from his amputated lib, and quickly tied a cloth around the nub that used to be his hand. Having dealt with the problem, he stepped forwards to exchange blows after blows with Wu Yuan which she easily parred. She knew that he wasn’t anything special, but Qiu Jianluo was not a useless limp either. There was some talent there that could have been nurtured in a sect with dense spiritual power and guidance of a good Shizun, but it was being wasted here at the manor with lavish lifestyle and daddy’s money.

Having realized that his tactic was not working, and that he was getting dizzier with each second, Qiu Jianluo stepped back and instead reached for Jiu-ge with his unwounded hand.

“Don’t touch him!” Wu Yuan roared, but before she could attack, Qiu Jiangluo had already pressed the blade to his throat.

“Or what?”

Wu Yuan gritted her teeth. Jiu-ge had small, fragile spiritual veins. He was nowhere up to the level of being able to heal serious wounds, so she had to be careful! One wrong move and her brother’s life would be on her hands!

“This is your last chance to let my brother go.” She warned, and lifted up Qiu Hun diagonally, “Shizun made this weapon especially for me. Inside it are hidden long, poisonous needles. If one of them hits you, you’ll fall down paralyzed from the neck down. Don’t test me.”

The reality was.. This was a bluff. She still hadn’t learned how to channel qi into objects to manipulate their gravitational pulls, so Wu Yanzi hadn’t allowed her to add needles to Qiu Hun yet. Wu Yuan bit the inside of her cheek, as she bullied her expression into indifference.

Qiu Jianluo peered back like a cobra, “You’re bullshitting, aren’t you?”

“I am not.” She assured, “I gathered the poison myself from the Black-Legged Bicolors.” That was not a lie, so her tone did not waver. However.. She hadn’t actually secreted the poison from their skin. Instead, she was keeping the frogs in a glass jar in her qian kun sleeves.

Qiu Jianluo did not say anything for a short while, until his shoulders fell, “Alright. I’ll let him go, but only if you throw that fan away.” He looked around the room, and then cocked his head to the side, “Why don’t you put it on the bed?” Wu Yuan thought, but her hesitation made Qiu Jianluo press the blade closer to Jiu-ge’s neck, “C’mon now. Don’t waste time.”

With a huff, Wu Yuan walked towards the bed and laid Qiu Hun down.

“Heavens, that thing reeks of resentment. You must be really fucked in the head to carry this on yourself all the time and not feel it.” Qiu Jianluo said with evident disgust in his voice.

“I did as you said.” Wu Yuan reminded him, completely ignoring his speech, “Don’t think that just because I don’t have a weapon on me that I can’t defend myself.”

“Then why haven’t you gotten your brother back?” He rolled his eyes.

“Because I do not wish to kill you yet.” Her words seemed to surprise both her and Jiu-ge out of a stupor, “You deserve much worse than a quick swift death, you fucking animal.” 

“You dare threaten my life?” A new fire was set ablaze in Qiu Jianluo’s eyes. Wu Yuan did not back down.

“Not a threat. This is a promise. The matter is not of whether I’ll kill you, but when I’ll kill you.” The words had riled up the reaction she’s been waiting for, as Qiu Jianluo tossed Jiu-ge aside and began to sprint right at her with a clutched fist.

“You, BITCH—!”

Wu Yuan dodged to the side, and Qiu Jianluo clumsily tripped over his feet as he landed to the floor.

“Ge, now!” She shouted at her brother, who still seemed shocked at how things have gone down. But they didn’t have time for this!

“Ge, snap out of it! We have to do it now!” Wu Yuan shouted more urgently, and Jiu-ge finally seemed to have regained senses to his body. With a nod, he got back up on his feet and grabbed a nearest lit candle — tossing it onto the wooden floor. The fire spread quickly, and once Wu Yuan got a hold of Qiu Hun, spreading the flames with a swing of demonic qi was no issue.

“Ge! We have to run!” She shouted, and grabbed her brother’s hand as she pulled him out of the bedroom.

“I’LL KILL YOU!” A scream followed out of the room, “WU YUAN — I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU. I’LL PEEL YOUR SKIN AND WILL STUFF YOUR MOUTH WITH SNAKES! I’LL FEED YOUR BODY TO THE DOGS! I CURSE YOU! I CURSE YOU FOR ETERNITY!”

The shouting had gathered a small commotion outside the room, and at the sound of their young master wailing like a tortured animal, the servants quickly turned at them. Their robes torn, covered in blood, with the fire spreading behind their backs.

“Capture them!” One of the workers shouted out loud, and Wu Yuan had to drag her brother behind herself as the hands reached for them.

They didn’t manage to run for long. Eventually, the stairs that were leading down were blocked.

“Meimei, the room at the end!” Jiu-ge said, and without thinking, Wu Yuan nodded as the two of them sprinted ahead.

As they’ve run inside, Wu Yuan didn’t have time to properly inspect their surroundings. It seemed like a study room, with a humble collection of books and a small work table. None of the materials matched the quality she had been provided with. Jiu-ge quickly blocked the door with a dresser.

“This won’t hold them back long enough.” He noted, and Wu Yuan agreed.

“There’s a window here.” She pointed out, and already proceeded to rush towards it, “Ge, you’ll have to climb on my back, and then we jump.”

“Are you insane?! This is the second floor!” Jiu-ge paled at the mere idea, but they did not have time to hesitate.

“Ge, I don’t mean this in a bad way, but my cultivation is higher than yours! A jump like this will do nothing to me! And even if I’ll break a bone or two, I can still keep going without slowing us down!” She angrily shouted back, as the banging on the door increased. They were running out of time!

“Ha! To think that my own sister would call me a burden like that!” Jiu-ge bitterly laughed; clearly hurt by her words.

“Ge, please, now is not the time.” She pleaded. She was going to apologize ten thousand times later, but now they needed to get the fuck out. “Climb on my back, or I will grab you with force.” With a click of his tongue, Jiu-ge approached her crouching form and wrapped his arms around her neck, “You’re going to be eating so much once we’re out of here. You’re so light.”

“Yeah, remind me once more about how pathetic I am, why don’t you?” Jiu-ge snapped, and Wu Yuan gathered herself as she pushed the two of them out the window.

The fall was quick, and she managed to gracefully land on her toes. She gathered qi in her feet, to lessen the damage of the fall, and instantly settled her brother down. Jiu-ge seemed surprised at how well Wu Yuan handled the jump, but then, they heard a stream of voices coming from the window above.

“Where the hell did they go?!”

“The window! They must have jumped out!”

Jiu-ge furrowed his brows, “We’ve got to keep going! Or they’ll catch up!”

“If they catch up to us, then I’ll kill them.” Wu Yuan said, and snapped Qiu Hun shut into its blade form, “Let them try to stop us.”

“Meimei, let’s run! Run!”

The two of them dashed into the fields, through the crops, and into the woods. They ignored their aching legs, and when Jiu-ge’s knees buckled from the misuse, Wu Yuan did not even hesitate to pick him up once more and continue on with their escape. They watched as the Qiu manor burned — the smoke spread far into the air and blackened the skies.

Eventually, Wu Yuan knew that she couldn’t run anymore. Her chest burned and her entire body was shaking, and so she dropped her brother off herself like a sack off rice at the sight of a first river. She knew they couldn’t stay here for too long. During an escape, the search parties would always go for the nearest bodies of water, but for now they needed rest. The Quis and their servants would be held back by the fire, so Wu Yuan knew that they could at least spare an hour for recovery.

However, as she turned to face Jiu-ge thinking he’d be happy having finally escaped—

“What the fuck were you thinking?! This wasn’t by the plan! You completely fucked us over!” Jiu-ge shouted at her, making her flinch.

“B-but.. Ge, he was going to rape you.” She tried to reason, at which the other only scoffed.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Jiu-ge said cooly, and Wu Yuan felt something in her stomach drop. She was sickened by the words.

“Ge!”

She didn’t want him to be angry with her! She only wanted to do what was best!

She only wanted to help!

“Don’t you understand what you’ve done?! Now, we are wanted criminals! They’ll be looking for us until we’re dead, and maybe you can protect yourself against the crowd of people with swords, but I can’t! I am a nuisance!”

“Ge, you’re not a nuisance.” She crouched down in front of him, so that they were directly face-to-face, “I’ll teach you everything I know, and then.. You could join a sect!”

“I’m too old for a sect. They won’t accept me.” Jiu-ge brought his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs close, “Meimei, leave me alone. Please, leave me right now, so that I don’t say something I’ll regret.”

Wu Yuan fiercely shook her head, “If a sect won’t take you in as a disciple, then we’ll run away so far, that they will never catch us. Maybe we will leave China, and go to Goryeo. There are other places for us to go to! Ge, don’t give up! We’ll make it through, okay?”

“Nothing is ‘okay’, Yuan.” He hissed through his teeth; his eyes full of venom, “This is serious. We are in such deep shit. The fuck do you not understand?!”

“I do! I do!” She felt her eyes tear up, “But I refuse to give up!” She stated firmly, and then forced him to look up, “Ge, I know you’ve been through hell. Those fuckers abused you and I will curse their souls for eternity, so that they’ll never know peace. But you’re not the only one who suffered.” His eyes widened at that, so she kept talking, “There is evil not only in the Qiu Manor, there is also evil in the world, but no matter what happened to me, I always crawled my way through. Trust me, setting one house on fire, is far from the worst thing I’ve done through Shizun’s guidance.”

And it was in that moment that she remember something important. Crucial.

“Oh, Heavens. Shizun.” She mumbled, as her blood ran cold, “How will I explain this to Shizun?” Because they might have run away, but there was no doubt in her mind that Wu Yanzi would find them in a day or two. Maybe less. Would he be furious or amused? What would be her punishment for this? Would he.. Would he kill gege or take him on as a disciple?

“Meimei?” Concern creeped up on Jiu-ge’s face, and so she forced herself to smile.

“Ge, actually.. We can’t stay together. I will lead you to the nearest town, and.. We will have to separate.”

Wu Yanzi was too dangerous to be left around her brother, and she would never forgive herself if something happened to Jiu-ge because she let that monster sink his claws in. Wu Yanzi seemed to have a special spot for her because she reminded him of his daughter, but what would he do with Jiu-ge? He was a boy. He wouldn’t be mistaken for the ghost of Yin’er. And knowing Shizun and his passion for demonic experiments.. His selfishness..

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Jiu-ge grabbed at her shoulders and shook her, “You are not leaving me, meimei! Where you go, I’ll go as well! Are you serious?! After everything, you’ll just drop me off like some dead weight?!”

“That’s not what I meant!” She was so fed up with her brother’s mental gymnastics. He always thought the worst of the situation!

“My Shizun, he might—!”

 

“I might what?”

 

“Shizun!” She gasped where she stood, but before she could respond or even have a moment to think; she was kicked to the ground.

 

Qi deviation.

 

Shizun was qi deviating.

 

No. 

No! 

Why now?!

What has happened to him?! 

 

“Yuan!” She heard Jiu-ge’s scream through the ringing in her ears, “What the hell are you doing to my sister?!”

“You tried to run from me, Yin’er.” Wu Yanzi completely ignored the older boy, and with a flick of his finger sent him flying into the nearest tree. She hissed at the crack of wood, and prayed that the impact didn’t kill her brother on the spot, “Was it because of him? Why did you run away from me?”

“S-shizun, I didn’t. I was going to go back after I would—“ And then, her tongue had failed her. Her eyes landed on an axe in Wu Yanzi’s hand. Its blade was dripping with blood.

“..Shizun?”

“No, Yin’er. I won’t kill you.” As if that was reassuring, “I killed that bastard Qiu Wanyan. He tried to take you away from me. He wanted you to marry his son. Insisted on it. Offered money. Then tried with force.” Wu Yuan gulped, “And when I came back to find you.. I discovered that the Qiu Manor had been lit on fire.. With you gone. Just like in that dream.”

“Shizun, I’m sorry, this isn’t—!” Her excuses didn’t have time to leave her mouth as an axe was lifted up in the air.

 

Her legs! Her legs!!!

He was going to chop off her legs!!!

 

“NO, SHIZUN, NO! I’M SORRY! PLEASE, DON’T DO THIS! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN! NEVER!” She screamed as panic dulled all of her senses and thinking. Wu Yanzi considered her for a second, but then only raised the axe higher. Time slowed, Wu Yuan watched helplessly as the blade whooshed through the air and came down on her limbs. She bit down on her lip expecting to scream in agony, when—

 

The blade missed.

 

“GET AWAY FROM HER!”

Jiu-ge collided into Wu Yanzi, sending both of them tumbling down.

“You fucking scum.” Wu Yanzi growled, and easily flipped them over, so that his body was caging Jiu-ge to the ground, “Was it because of you? Did she try to leave me because of you?”

“YOU SICK FUCK!” Jiu-ge tried to kick with his legs and scratch at the man’s face, but she knew Wu Yanzi. If Jiu-ge couldn’t even fight off someone like Qiu Jianluo, what chances did he have against Wu Yanzi? The man was like a brick wall. If he didn’t want to be moved, only Heaven’s will could strike him down. She had to do something. Fast. Or Jiu-ge would die.

 

 

‘A man to dishonor you is cattle. A man to challenge you is cattle. A man to stand in your way is cattle.’

 

 

Wu Yuan gritted her teeth, as she pushed herself upwards. Her head felt like it was about to split open, and nausea rolled through her stomach making her gag. She had a concussion, was still panting from fear, and exhausted after the events of today. But the day was not over yet. She had to keep fighting. Fight or lose. Fight or die. Dying didn’t matter, but she had to save Jiu-ge. Jiu-ge who deserved the world. Who was the most brilliant person she’s ever known. Who was her hero throughout her childhood. Her only remaining family.

 

 

‘Humans are cattle. Some weaker, some stronger. Wu Yuan, don’t pretend to be a sheep. I know very well that you’re a wolf.’

 

 

“AAARGH!” She screamed as she jumped on Wu Yanzi’s back and stabbed Qiu Hun through the back of his head. The man reacted, trying to jolt her weight off himself, but she clung tight and pushed the blade deeper in through the flesh; breaking bones and tearing muscles. 

Wu Yuan heard Jiu-ge gasp in shock, and then her Shizun made a series of desperate, choking noises. Fear locked her tight, and she pressed the blade more, more, more in — up until it was sticking outside of Wu Yanzi’s mouth from the front. He struggled for a long time, fought for his life as his eyes desperately blinked and his throat wheezed. Wu Yuan pushed herself off him, and the man slumped to the side and stared right through her. His eyes burned like slave brands, as they peeked deeper in. Through her heart demons. At her rotten soul.

She continued to watch in horror, unable to look away, as the qi deviation and the lethal wound finally stripped all signs of life from her Shizun’s body. His eyes dulled, skin paled, and his lips have turned blue. For a moment she stood there, unsure of what had just happened. She couldn’t see the rise and fall in Wu Yanzi’s chest. She couldn’t hear him breathing.

 

Dead.

 

He was dead.

 

Somehow, she thought that the man was incapable of death. That he would keep evading, surviving, and crawling back out from the pits of hell. She stared. Waiting for his lips to stretch into a maniacal smile, telling her how stupid she was for falling for his tricks. Waiting for him to rise and whip her for daring to raise a hand against him. Waiting for him to tell her to fetch some medicine and clean water. 

 

But that didn’t happen.

 

Wu Yanzi..

 

Stayed dead.

 

“Ge..”

 

“Shhh.. It’s okay. Ge is right here. You’re okay.”

 

“Ge.. I..”

 

Jiu-ge instantly fell down beside her and pulled her into a tight hug. He settled so that her back was pressed into his chest, and wrapped his palms around her shaking form. The weight grounded her. Her mind felt floaty, as if she was about to fade away into static. Dissolve from the present.

 

“I killed him.”

 

She said.

 

“I killed him because I thought he was going to kill you.” Wu Yuan took a sharp breath in, “I killed him because I had to protect you. I had to kill him. It was either him or you. So. I had to kill him.”

“Meimei..” Jiu-ge gave her the most pitying look she’s ever seen. A wave of shame passed through her. How pathetic could one get? Get yourself together! But she couldn’t. She felt like she was falling apart.

“Meimei, it’s okay to be sad. He was your Shizun.”

“But no. Ge, you don’t understand. He was.. He was a bad person.” He killed, he stole, he abused. He was rotten. He was a demonic cultivator. He killed his daughter. He probably killed his wife. “He used to hit me. A lot. He broke my legs. He cracked a plate against my head. And.. He’d choke me. Once, he held my head underwater. Although, actually.. He hadn’t done it again since..” Her voice trailed off, “He was a bad person. He was a very bad person.”

“Then it sounds to me like he deserved it.” Jiu-ge supplied, and something sharp squeezed at her heart.

“But.. He also brushed my hair.” Jiu-ge’s hands suddenly tightened around her, “And.. He got me sweets. Books. Robes. Ribbons. He used to make me sleep outside, but he later changed his mind. He’d get me a room too. We.. Used to talk a lot. He helped forge Qiu Hun. And after I refused to kill the Twelve-Tailed Snow Fox, he didn’t ask me to kill them again. Because I told him that they were my favorite. He listened. He always listened to me. He listened, even when he didn’t show it.” Wu Yuan bit down on her lower lip, “But ge.. He was a bad person. He was a very bad person.”

Jiu-ge buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent. He let out a long, deep sigh.

“Yes, he was, meimei.”

“I had to kill him. Or he would kill you.”

“Yes, meimei. That’s right.”

“But what if he wasn’t going to? Wait— No. Even if he wasn’t going to.. He would damage your meridians with demonic cultivation and cripple your bases. That would make acceptance into the sect much harder for you, and.. I had to protect you from that. I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice.”

Jiu-ge said nothing. Instead, his hand began to slowly pat her head. He would scratch at her scalp behind her ear, forcing her body to bleed out some of the tension. But the— shock? Was she in shock? It was not fading. Not yet.

“He would never let me die. No matter how hard I would try. He always brought me back.” Jiu-ge flinched, “He told me I was his. He told me we would be together forever. But I told him that death would separate us.” She shuddered, “And.. Death separated us. Do you think this happened because.. Of what I said?”

“Fate is not so simple, meimei.” Jiu-ge whispered, and began to undo the braids in her hair. The dull pull from her scalp faded, but brought no relief. The world was spinning.

“Yeah.” She nodded like a dummy. Shizun used to always call her stupid. An idiot. An airhead. A moron. “He was a bad person. Death followed him from long before we met.” But he also called her smart. Exceptional. Perfect. “But how does that make me any better?” He called her his daughter. The daughter he never had. “I am also.. A bad person.”

“You’re not, meimei. You were hurt and cornered. Didn’t you say so yourself? You had no choice. The things you’ve done were all for your survival.” Jiu-ge reasoned. The logic was sound, but Wu Yuan couldn’t so easily accept this. Excuses. All of this—! Were excuses!

 

 

Jiu-ge had no idea about the pigs. About Master Chang and Chang-furen. He had no idea about what she had become. Wu Yanzi knew. He perfectly knew what she was. Was never blind to the darkness lurking beneath the surface. He called her his perfect girl. His Yin’er. His Wu Yuan.

 

 

“Ge.”

 

Her eyes blurred.

 

And for the first time in many years.

 

“I am a bad person.”

 

She cried.

 

“I’ll never be clean.”

Notes:

well. this was a heavy one! but do things get better for them? who knows!

also i am sorry that this chapter is much shorter! tbh idk how many words it is but it feels shorter? i kind of decided that instead of sticking to a word count, i finish chapters when it feels right. it helps me write faster & doesnt pressure me into a certain word count. so, yeah!

very random guys but my uni randomly dropped on me that apparently i have 2 assignments due september?! and they didnt mention A THING? not even one email ;-; i hate my uni cant wait to switch to a different one once i start my masters

Chapter 5: We’re family, after all

Summary:

“Ge.. I’m sleepy.” The words made his heart skip a beat from anxiety. He knew very well what that meant. “Remember that song Qi-ge used to always sing to us? Can you..”

How could he deny her? When this was most likely her last wish?

“Of course, meimei.”

And so, he hummed.

Notes:

• TW/CW for the following chapter: mentioned child abuse, child deaths of side characters, mentions of past slavery, mentions of parental neglect, death scare, coma, body mutation, hospitals/clinical settings.

Yuan-mei fell into a catatonic state.

She could still walk, hum, and nod, but something inside her seemed to have snapped in two. No matter how hard Xiao Jiu would try to get her to talk or eat, his Yuan-mei would simply turn away her head and stare into the distance.

Getting her to leave Wu Yanzi’s corpse behind was a nightmare.

She didn’t fight him, no, it was the complete opposite, she simply couldn’t let go off his robes, until Xiao Jiu had no choice but to tear her physically away and restrain any protest until all struggle had eventually died out from her. Yuan-mei didn’t even glare at him. She simply slumped, and let herself be manhandled against her will, as she watched the body of her Shizun drift down the river into the unknown.

Xiao Jiu’s cultivation was weak. He had only recently began learning some bases, and most of the time the only exercise that he was allowed to do was meditation. However, Qiu Wanyan did teach him how to circle his own qi and how to sense the qi of others. Yuan-mei’s spiritual veins were a complete mess. There were blockages in her meridians that Xiao Jiu was not qualified to heal, there were strains around her dentians that were pressing against her heart, and there was that poisonous, nasty demonic energy that made him shudder every-time he accidentally made contact with it. It lashed out against him like a viscous snake that bared its teeth at a threat. How his sister was living like this was truly a mystery. It would have driven him mad.

Three days after they had run away, Yuan-mei began to suffer from nightmares. She would toss and sweat in her sleep, and no matter how much Xiao Jiu would try to hold her through them, she couldn’t be calmed. She was seeing demons that were not there, she was hearing voices that he could not hear, she was being followed by ghosts that would not let her go. His heart was breaking day by day with the display. Was she going to fall into madness?

He was starting to fear the worst.

Then, one day, he woke up and found that his sister was gone. Before he could panic, Yuan-mei peeked out from between the bushes with a dead rabbit in her hold. There was that same blade — or a fan? — swinging by her hip; dripping with blood.

She did not say anything as she thrusted the prey towards him, and simply went down to try and start a fire. They had avoided making any fireplaces, so that the smoke would not give them away, but after a quick trip to the nearest village they’ve learned that Wu Yanzi during the craze had murdered everyone at the Qiu Manor with his own hand — all their crimes were pinned on the maddened demonic cultivator as well. If there were any survivors left, then they had most likely ran away with their tails between their legs. Nobody in their right mind would connect the tragedy to the two small slave children, especially with so many having witnessed Wu Yanzi chopping off heads with an axe at his own accord. In a sense, Wu Yanzi’s qi deviation had worked out in their favor. Strangely, Xiao Jiu couldn’t feel the satisfaction at knowing so.

“Meimei, you have to eat.” He tried, but she gave him the same blank look that’s been haunting her features since that day, “The rabbit’s meat is good. Tender. You’ll like it.” He nudged a skewer into her direction, but she simply looked away.

In the end, he wasn’t able to convince her. Or the day after. Or the next. Xiao Jiu did not know much about demonic cultivation, so he wasn’t sure if she could even practice inedia. Or was that something that one could only achieve with a Golden Core? Did demonic cultivators have Golden Cores to begin with? He wanted to ask, but each time he brought up the topic, Yuan-mei’s face fell only further. Silence did not break.

Two weeks after Wu Yanzi’s death, his sister had collapsed in the middle of the street. Her appearance also had adapted a change. Her nails were longer and sharper. Her ears grew pointed ends, and her front teeth now sported two long fangs. Sickness? Poison? Deviation? Xiao Jiu did not know. He had to hurry.

They had wandered from village to village. His sister has given him some trinkets and books to sell before her collapse, so they had a bit of money to spend. Enough to buy a change of robes, get some light food and clean water.

“Meimei! Meimei!” He gasped, as he held up her unmoving body. She had lost so much weight in such a short span of time. Well, this meant only one thing, that she couldn’t practice inedia no matter how much he hoped for it, “Healer.. I have to find a healer.” Xiao Jiu nodded to himself, as he scooped up Yuan-mei onto his back and began to ask around strangers on the streets.

We don’t have healers around here, they told him with pitying looks in their eyes. A single glance at his sister, and they suspected what the problem was. However, there is a small workshop to the East. The place is called Qingshui. It is right by the Yuhe River. They say that the water there can heal even deepest wounds and harshest sicknesses, however, you must pass through the fields of Man Tuo Luo flowers. They cause you to see things, terrible things. Are you sure you want to go there, young man? There is a carriage leaving in a week, for some coin, we could drop you off at Muguang Village instead. They have a big clinic there. Fancy equipment and all. They say, that it was built under the instruction of Peak Lord Lu Tianrui himself.

Well, it wasn’t like he had a choice. His sister didn’t have a week (Xiao Jiu did not even know if she had a day), and he wasn’t exactly sure how cultivators would react to the demonic energy which poisoned the air around his sister. Even the mortals could sense it, saying that the girl was giving them “the creeps”. He suppressed a hiss at their words. Like an animal. 

And so — Xiao Jiu waited until the nightfall to steal a horse, and before they could be caught — he rode far into the horizon.

The weather was not kind to them. An hour into their journey, it began to rain. His sister, still unconscious, started to shiver from the ice-cold water, so without a choice, Xiao Jiu shrugged off the upper layers of his robes and wrapped them tight around his Yuan-mei. She nuzzled into him — subconsciously seeking warmth — and Xiao Jiu rode only faster, somehow knowing that he did not have much time. She was.. Turning blue. 

Two days into their journey, Xiao Jiu had realized that they were in deep shit.

After all, just because his sister was knocked out dead, did not mean that he became invincible to the weaknesses of his own body. The rain had soaked right through him, the wind chilled him to the bone, and now he had dragged his sister and himself into the nearest cave, having no choice but to give up the chances of travel. They barely had any clean water left, there was very little food to spare, and of course.. No medicine. The horse had to be let go, as the villagers followed the markings of hoofs on the ground and almost caught them. The rain had slowed them down, but the local hunters had tamed Lang-Hounds, who were able to pick up scents even after the fall of fresh rain. They’ve known all the village horses their entire lives, so.. Xiao Jiu parted ways with it. (He tried not to think about the fact that it could have been eaten and skinned. There could have been far more uses to the beast. But something had made him lower the blade and cut the rope instead. He wasn’t sure what).

Now, the siblings really could only curl up together and die. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. They were together. 

“..ge?”

He heard a whimper, and felt his heart jump. His sister hadn’t spoken in so long. Her voice was raspy and weak, and a few seconds later, she began to cough. It was wet and ugly, Xiao Jiu’s own throat hurt in sympathy at the sound.

“Mhm. Gege’s here, meimei.” He hugged her closer. Just like all those years ago, they were cramped together. Two abandoned children. Two unwanted brats.

“Ge..” Yuan-mei tried again. Part of him wanted to shush her, to tell her to rest and conserve energy, but another — truthful side of him — knew that this might be the last time he’ll hear her speak. His sister grew colder in his hold, meanwhile, his insides were burning from inside-out. He was going to succumb to his fever, and she was going to freeze to death.

 

At least they weren’t alone.

 

“Ge, you should give me a name.” She whispered.

“You do have a name. It’s Wu Yuan.” He reminded her, thinking that maybe her memory had been fogged from all the stress.

“No..” She shook her head, “S-shizun called me that. I don’t want to be Wu Yuan. Give me.. A family name.. We’re family, after all.. Give me.. A new name. I don’t want to be Wu Yuan.. I don’t want to be Wu Yuan.. Gege.. Please.. She’s.. A bad person.”

Xiao Jiu’s hold on his sister was starting to shake. Her words were making him sick.

After a while, he nodded in understanding, “Well.” He sighed, “Before you rescued me.. There was another slave boy at the Qiu Manor. His name was Shen Yi’An.” The boy back then had told him they could be brothers. Xiao Jiu hissed at him, saying that he only had one brother — Qi-ge. And that his Qi-ge was coming back for him. (However, Qi-ge never came. Not even years later. Instead, Yuan-mei showed up to free him from the clutches of the wolves).

“He was.. Not bad. Although, he died very quickly. A mere cold, can you believe it?”

 

Rather fitting.

 

“Shen..” Xiao Yuan hummed as her eyes stared upwards. She watched the water drip, “Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu..” She smiled, “I like it. Sounds.. Normal, doesn’t it? As if our parents named us.” As if our parents loved us, went unsaid.

Yuan-mei used to always ask questions about their parents. She liked to think that they got separated from their family due to a tragedy. Of course, it was convenient that she did not remember. She did not remember as their own father wanted to feed Xiao Jiu to the dogs, so that they wouldn’t have to deal with the rotting body after they’d finish killing him. She did not remember that their so-called parents wanted to sell Yuan-mei to a brothel as a mere infant, because they were disappointed that she was a girl. She also did not remember that long ago they had another sibling who had died locked in a dog cage. Last Xiao Jiu had seen of him — his brother’s body was covered in maggots and leaking puss all over the floor, long having gone soft and beginning to decay. That was the day that Xiao Jiu made it his life goal to protect Yuan-mei no matter the cost.

It was better that she did not know any of this.

“Yeah.” He huffed, and brought her even closer.

“Ge.. I’m sleepy.” The words made his heart skip a beat from anxiety. He knew very well what that meant. “Remember that song Qi-ge used to always sing to us? Can you..”

How could he deny her? When this was most likely her last wish?

“Of course, meimei.”

And so, he hummed. He rocked her back and forth, and continued to hum, even as her breath had evened out. Even as she went paler than snow, as her lips turned purple, and her pulse weakened. He could barely feel the pump of blood beneath his fingers anymore, but he didn’t dare to let go off her pulse. Please, keep that heart going. Keep living. Just a little bit longer. 

“Gege’s here, meimei. Gege won’t leave you ever again. You’re.. Not alone, meimei. Gege’s here, okay? Everything is going to be okay. We’ll be okay now.”

 

 

 

 

 

He woke up.

 

Although he shouldn’t have.

He was laying in a bed and it was warm. He couldn’t smell grime or dirt — no — he was dressed in clean robes with his skin scrubbed fresh from blood, sweat and mud. He enjoyed the sensation for a couple of moments, thinking that it must be the afterlife, but.. Huh..

And then, his mind cleared and panic settled in.

Quickly, Shen Jiu sat up and looked around.

Clinic?

Inn?

Where?

 

Where were they?

 

Wait.

 

“Meimei!” He cursed under his breath.

His sister was nowhere to be seen.

 

Fuck!

 

With a hiss, he crawled from the bed and looked around. Shen Jiu smiled at the sight of a blade. It was sharp and thin, but could be easily hidden in his sleeves. Designed mostly for surgical use. Would do. He couldn’t wander around without a weapon. For all he knew, they could have been kidnapped or sold to the slavers again.

Slowly, he crept towards the door and pressed his ear against the surface. There wasn’t too much noise coming from the outside. Judging by the sun’s position, it was still very early in the morning. So, with gathered courage he pushed the door open and walked out. At the first sign of presence, he quickly dashed behind a corner and peeked through.

“Jiang-shibo finally left. I thought he was going to stay here day and night until those brats will wake.” The girl with a rougher, older voice huffed. She had her hair tied up, without single lock out of place, and was carrying an impressive stack of papers in her hands. Every few seconds the pile swung from side to side, but not one document fell. It was.. Quite impressive.

Next to her, stood a girl much shorter in height, with cute pigtails on top of her head.

 

Cultivators? Healers? Servants?

 

“Don’t be like that, Su-jie. He’s worried.” The shorter girl frowned, and although her hands were empty, she did not offer to help carry the papers, “I mean, have you seen the state of those kids? Poor things.”

“As if we don’t see that everyday at the clinic.” The taller one rolled her eyes, and kept on walking. They were getting closer.

“No, but this was different! That girl was.. Soaked in demonic energy! I could feel it crawl up my skin.” Demonic energy? Yuan-mei! That’s definitely her! So, his sister was here somewhere. At least, it did not sound like they harmed her.

“I told Shizun and Jiang-shibo that she must be a demon. There is no other explanation. Have you seen her ears and teeth?”

Shen Jiu gritted his teeth at the words.

“But even so..”

“Even so? Even so?! Do you hear yourself?! Demons shouldn’t be here! We are a righteous sect! And they definitely shouldn’t be taking our resources!”

Ah, so this was a sect. Shen Jiu tried to remember the names that have been mentioned thus far. Jiang-shibo.. The only name that came to mind would be on a Peak Lord of Qing Jing Jiang Tianhe, but.. That would mean they were at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. How-?! Were they found by cultivators at the cave?!

“Su-jie.. But the boy who clung to her was definitely human, and they looked.. Identical! There’s more to this.” The shorter girl insisted, and Shen Jiu found himself appreciating her open-mindness.

“Get your head out of the clouds and get back to work.” The taller one — somehow — managed to trip over the shorter one and almost send her flying to the floor. “Ah, speaking of that brat, go check up on his fever. If it has gone down, then come and find me. We might have to start feeding him some lights broths, he was skinnier than a street cat. Let’s hope that they’re not runaway slaves. Our Shizun doesn’t need that kind of trouble.” 

“Okay, Su-jie. I’ll be right back.”

The taller one seemed to have disappeared into one of the offices, meanwhile, the shorter one began to head straight towards his room. Having quickly made up his mind, Shen Jiu slipped back to where he had woken up and climbed towards the bed. So far the situation didn’t seem.. Dangerous. He couldn’t cause a commotion until his sister was found. For now, he had to assess and play along.

“You’re awake!” The girl startled him out of his thoughts, “That’s amazing!” She smiled.

“Where am I?”

“Straight to the point I see!” She cocked a brow, and then smirked, “Well, let’s try this again. This one is Tang Shuyu, and I have been instructed with your care until Shizun’s return. You are currently at the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect on the Qian Cao Peak. Now!” She exclaimed, “What is your name?”

Shen Jiu narrowed his eyes, “Where is my sister?”

Tang Shuyu slumped forward, “You’re so unfriendly! We saved your life, you know! The least you could do is cooperate.” She pouted with her hands at her hips. Shen Jiu was quickly losing his patience. 

“Have you done something to her? Where is she?” He repeated again. Inside his sleeve, he squeezed the surgical blade tight. He did not enjoy the idea of hurting a woman, but if needed, this airhead could be easily taken hostage.

“She’s fine, she’s fine.” Tang Shuyu waved her hands around, “Well, actually, you would have to define fine. Is all that demonic energy normal occurrence for her? Because if she wasn’t like that before, then do I have some bad news for you..”

“You, what?” He blinked away the confusion. The girl spoke fast, with a lot of emotion, and accompanied her words with dramatic gestures and facial expressions. “The demonic energy is.. A.. Ahem.. normal for her. But — she’s not a demon!” He quickly argued, hoping that he did not just now doom his sister with careless words, “What do you need from us? Why did you help?” Because no aid ever comes for free.

“Oh, woah there! What could you even give us back? You’ve got nothing!” So, they went through their stuff. Well, Shen Jiu had half expected such, “These humble healers have helped you because Shizun told us to, but I do not know why he brought you here.”

Then, Tang Shuyu leaned in closer, their faces merely inches apart, “If you were to ask me, I think Shizun is dying to know what the deal is about you two. He always does this. Brings in random strays, fixes them up, and releases them back into the wild. Not everyday you meet two children dying in a cave with one of them looking like a demon!”

“You speak of us as if we are dogs to be studied.” Shen Jiu gritted his teeth, getting annoyed. The girl was awful at reading the room (or she just did not care about offending anyone).

“Eeh? What’s wrong with dogs? They’re all cute and fluffy, and when they’re happy, their little tails waggle left-right-left-right! Aah! Adorable!” She cupped her own cheeks and squeaked in delight. Shen Jiu was done with this theatrical performance.

“Enough of this!” He snapped, “Take me to my sister! Now!” 

Tang Shuyu hummed as she leaned in. For a second he thought she was about to reject his demand, but instead, “Okay, I will. But I want you to do two things for me first.” There it goes.

“What is it?” Depending on how ridiculous her requests would be, he’d consider whether she deserved to be stabbed in the throat or stomach.

“First, I want you to tell me your’s and your sister’s name. And second, I want you to give me your wrist, so that I can check-up on your fever and spiritual veins. If my shijie finds out that I haven’t done a check-up before I opened my mouth — she’ll skin me!” Shen Jiu blinked in surprise. He had not expected this.

“Shen Jiu. Shen Yuan.” He forced out, and then outstretched his wrist. Tang Shuyu nodded, grinning like a pleased cat, and then he felt her qi pass through his wrist up towards his neck. It was nothing like Qiu Wanyan’s or Qiu Jianluo’s (theirs burned, ached, forced its way through where it wasn’t wanted; hers was gentle, probing, curious, and cold like a healing balm).

“Greaaaat!” Tang Shuyu nodded up and down hard enough that Shen Jiu worried she was about to snap her neck. Instead, she bounced back up to her feet. How much energy does one person need?! “You’re all good! The fever is down, and although there is a small imbalance of qi, with a few qi-transfer sessions and some physical recovery, you’ll be up and running in no time!”

“Take me to my sister.”

“Yes, yes, Shen-gongzhi.” He almost choked on his spit at the address. No one in his life had ever referred to him as a young master. Obviously, she was mocking him. Tang Shuyu might act like a cheery idiot, but she had already called him and Yuan-mei dogs. She knew exactly what they were, “Follow me, m’kay?”

This time when they walked out into the hallway — the clinic has grown busy. There were countless disciples running around. Some carried materials, others medicines, a few were helping patients up to their feet or applying medicine. In the distance, Shen Jiu heard a wail of a child. Then, was a piercing cry of a woman. Alarmed, he turned around to look just to find that the woman was not being hurt, but simply had her bone readjusted after a nasty break.

Many doors were sealed, with notes stuck on which alerted others to not disturb. ‘Emergency surgery in progress’, most of them said, with only one of them saying, ‘Emergency dual-cultivation in progress’. Shen Jiu flushed, having completely forgotten that dual-cultivation was a common medical treatment.

“This is the crisis building, which is why everyone around here is so hectic.” Tang Shuyu must have noticed him looking around and decided to supply with an explanation, “Your sister is in the building opposite to this one.”

“Why is she not here?” He asked, and Tang Shuyu sighed.

“You’ll see.”

The rest of the walk was in silence. Well, silence from Shen Jiu’s side. Tang Shuyu kept blabbering on about what her Shizun did last week, about how her ‘A-jie’ was a bitch, so Tang Shuyu once set her hair on fire to retaliate (the girl is a psycho, should she be healing people?!), and that Su-jie is the best shijie in the entire world because she always covered for Tang Shuyu when the girl decided to sneak out and play in the town nearby. Shen Jiu wondered why the hell he was entrusted with all this information, because the temptation to tell her Shizun everything once he meets the man was strong.

“We’re here!”

He hadn’t even noticed when they arrived to another building. The inside smelled strongly of Ginseng, as if the entire premises have been drenched in the plant-broth from ground to ceiling. Tang Shuyu without even being told reached into her inner robes and pulled out a small piece of cloth.

“Cover your nose.” She instructed, and then proceeded to pull up a—? Veil? No, more like a tight white mask which covered bottom half of her face, “Hate being here, but this is where we keep patients who are victims of demonic attacks or experimentations.”

Shen Jiu gulped. He never asked Yuan-mei why she had so much demonic energy inside her (or why her body repelled any spiritual energy that he’d try to transfer her when she first fell ill), but he always assumed that she simply followed Wu Yanzi’s teachings and had become that way as a side-effect of her demonic cultivation. But shouldn’t there be a balance between two? Could there have been more to this? He wondered whether they found that cursed fan on her. The thing was evil, but it clung loyally to Yuan-mei like a desperate mutt. He would be surprised if they had actually managed to separate the weapon from its master.

“Now, we go up the stairs.” Tang Shuyu said, and he followed, while anxiously looking around. 

The noises in the building were hollow and haunting. Every door was barred shut, with clear warnings that only Senior Disciples, Hall Masters, and the Peak Lord were allowed entry. Every now and then, Shen Jiu heard blood-curdling cries, heart-wrenching screams, and desperate wall scratchings. If he hadn’t known where he was, he would have assumed that the place was a torture chamber. And Yuan-mei.. Had been brought here?

Had she been scared upon waking?

Because this place was terrifying.

“Most of the patients here are cases of possession. Others, are victims of cultivators who have fun tormenting the weak.” He had expected her to elaborate, but Tang Shuyu suddenly grew unusually serious, “It is best that you don’t listen to their cries.” She paused in front of the door, “Or their fear might crawl under your skin. Healers are not allowed to work here permanently. They always end up developing heart demons otherwise.”

“I see.” Shen Jiu finally answered back, and at the sound of his voice, Tang Shuyu seemed to have perked up a bit. Even though he couldn’t see her lips anymore, from the way her eyes squinted, he could tell that she was smiling.

“Well then, we’re here!” Tang Shuyu then pushed the doors open, and revealed a small room with a medical bed. The windows were closed shut, unlike his room, there were no surgical knives or needles left carelessly around. Also, no medicinal bottles or herbs. It was.. Quite dull and boring in here. Only one bed and dark walls.

And then, his eyes landed on a curled up form underneath a blanket.

“Meimei!” He gasped, and rushed to her, but the girl did not stir.

“She’s not awake yet. Pity.” Tang Shuyu commented from behind, and then crouched over Yuan-mei’s form. His sister’s skin was still ashen-pale, her eyes had dark eye-bags, and lips were chapped dry, “Wah! This is terrible.. Shizun better hurry back.”

“Why is she not awake?” He asked, suddenly getting very worried, “How long have we even been here?”

“Shizun and Jiang-shibo found you two around a week ago I think..” Tang Shuyu seemed to count something on her fingers, but then brushed it off, “You had a fever, but your sister.. Uh.. To be honest with you, I don’t know what’s wrong.” Shen Jiu felt his insides twist into a knot, “But, Shizun said that he had an idea, and he left to get medicine. He should be back soon. Him and Xie-shigu left very urgently! And Jiang-shibo had been in and out almost everyday checking on both yours and your sister’s condition.”

He didn’t understand why the two of them seemed to have caught so much attention of so many Peak Lords, but his gut wouldn’t let him trust their so-called ‘good will’. There must be something that he hadn’t figured out yet. People never did things ‘just because’, no, there were always reasons.

“What do they want from us?” He hissed out, and Tang Shuyu raised her brows, “Do they want us as servants?”

“Ah.” Tang Shuyu gasped in understanding, “Well, if you want to work at the sect after all of this is over, I am sure they wouldn’t stop you..” As if him and Yuan-mei would get a choice on the matter! “But honestly, Shen Jiu, my Shizun gets all tingly when he sees medical cases like this. The more mystery the better! Jiang-shibo is even worse! He’s been writing a research paper on demonic experiments for the past twelve years, and he always comes around to talk with the patients here to get more material! And Xie-shigu is just..” Tang Shuyu clicked her tongue, “Don’t tell my Shizun that I said this—“ She lowered her tone until it was a whisper, “—but she’s kind of like an attack dog. You tell her to hunt down the biggest dragon in China? She’ll charge right ahead! Honestly, Bai Zhan Peak scares me to death! They’re all brainless brutes! So, when Shizun told her that they need to travel and hunt down demonic beasts to get medicine? He didn’t need to say more to convince her to come along! Sect Leader has been furious, since they didn’t even tell him that they were all leaving! Jiang-shibo has been having tea with the Sect Leader almost every day to placate his fury!”

Shen Jiu felt his throat dry up. Why was everyone so weird around here already? And he had only met one person so far.

“Has she been fed? Or given water? She’s even thinner than before!” Shen Jiu noticed, as he lifted up his sister’s wrist. The bones were sticking out at an unnatural angle, making him feel sick to his stomach.

“Of course! Shen Jiu, do you take us for complete fools?” Tang Shuyu furrowed her brows, “But we can’t give her much. She’s unconscious. We have to massage her throat to get her to swallow, so we’ve only been giving her vegetable broths. We can’t give her anything with Azure Cloud herbs or Silver Frost leaves how we usually would in this case..”

“Why not?” He suspected the reason, but still asked.

“Her body.. Lashes out at anything that’s not demonic. When we tried to transfer her qi, she suffered a seizure. When we gave her some Purity Lotus to chew on, her gums began to bleed. Only when Shizun gave her very small dose of brew from Blood Nightshade did she calm down, but he couldn’t give her any more..” Shen Jiu inclined his head, and Tang Shuyu groaned, “Because that stuff is bad! Very, very bad! It is addictive and can warp one’s mind if given a wrong dosage!”

“Then don’t give it to her! What the fuck?!” Shen Jiu honestly couldn’t get his head around what has been going on here. Were they drugging his sister as he soundlessly slept in his room all wrapped up in a warm bundle?!

“No, no! You’re misunderstanding! All medicines are poisons and all poisons are medicines! It is all about dosages and conditions! For example, Blood Nightshade is lethal to spiritual cultivators, but not to demonic ones. Circumstances matter, okay?! And your sister’s circumstances are very special! So stop shouting at me and let us do our jobs!” She turned around with her hands crossed over her chest, “Anyways, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll go tell Su-jie that you’re here. Don’t wander around, and look after your sister.” Then, she pulled out a sheet of paper with thick, black characters written on it, “Do you know how to activate talismans?”

“No.”

“Okay. Do you know how to send a pulse of qi out of your palm?” She then asked, and reached out to touch his hand. The touch disgusted him, but he allowed it. She was a woman, and a doctor. Well.. Wannabe doctor? Future doctor? Nurse? Healer? Didn’t matter. 

“Yes.”

“Fantastic. Well then, it is a very similar process, but instead of projecting qi outside of your body, you have to interlink it into the talisman.” She handed the piece of paper to him, “Try it.”

With a doubtful expression, he decided to follow her instruction, and surprisingly, the thing worked! The talisman instantly turned into a pile of white ash, but a bracelet around Tang Shuyu’s wrist beamed with bright light.

“See? This way you can alert me, and I’ll come running.” She gave him another talisman, “But don’t use it unless there’s a good reason! I’m very busy, you know?” Was she, though? “Oi! What’s with that look! Wipe that off your face in an instant!”

When Tang Shuyu left, the room was suddenly engulfed in strange, haunting quiet. Shen Jiu looked down at Yuan-mei — as still as a corpse — and felt his heart squeeze. His sister had done so much to save him, even when she was the one who needed saving the most.

“Gege is here, meimei.” He reached out to squeeze her hand, “So.. Wake up soon already. Stop worrying me so much.”

 

 

 

 

 

For the next three days, Shen Jiu helped in any way that he could. When Tang Shuyu would come around, he’d assist with changing the bandages and feeding Yuan-mei broths. Her body was growing weaker, muscles growing stiff, but the other two were determined to keep her going until the return of Peak Lord Xie and Peak Lord Lu. They massaged Yuan-mei’s limbs to help the blood flow and moved around her arms and legs to smooth out the stretches. 

“You know, it would really help if you could tell me more.”

Tang Shuyu talked a lot. In fact, her mouth seemed to be unable to stop her tongue from running around. She spoke about her martial siblings, about her childhood memories, her family, her patients. Strangely enough, Shen Jiu noticed an odd pattern. She spoke about everyone around her, except herself. Everything she spouted was also.. Nonsense. Nothing valuable. The only secrets she’d admit to, would be harmless pranks and deeds which had been long buried in the past. Cunning woman. She was creating an illusion of friendliness and openness to get him to talk. Wicked! But he was not easily fooled. 

“Shen Jiu, I am not your enemy. However, we can’t help unless we know what happened.” She tried to reason with him, but he turned to face the other way, “Aiyah. So stubborn. Is this in the family? Will your meimei wake up and also glare at me as if she’s cursing eighteen generations of my ancestors?”

Shen Jiu snorted at the mental image. His little sister staring daggers at the respected healers from a fancy sect ready to pounce and tear Tang Shuyu’s throat out for daring to come too close. Yuan-mei always had a backbone and big balls. 

“I don’t know what happened. So, there is nothing to tell.” He stated plainly, and went back to scooping up soup onto a wooden spoon, and gently forcing the liquid into his sister’s mouth. A generous amount spilled out from the side of her lips. She was getting worse. They could barely get any liquid in today.

“Huh? Isn’t she your sister? How could you not know?” The question stung, but it was reasonable. (It was nosy! Tang Shuyu was so nosy!)

“We were only recently reunited. She was already like this.” Except for the sharp ears, claws and fangs, but.. Details.

“Hm..”

Tang Shuyu then left, and didn’t come back until the next day. Shen Jiu had found himself sleeping in the bed together with Yuan-mei, hugging her body close, and hoping that his body heat would warm her up at least a bit. They’ve been piling up blankets, sticking warming talismans, heating up the room, but nothing helped with his sister’s dropping body temperature. She kept on getting colder and colder. Shen Jiu was terrified that one day he would wake to a corpse in his arms.

 

“Shizun! You’re back!”

 

Tang Shuyu’s voice from the hallway snapped him wide awake. He instantly sat up, and climbed off the bed. Tang Shuyu’s Shizun was back, meaning.. Peak Lord Lu was back! With the medicine!

Just as he thought that, a man had burst into the room, holding multiple pouches in his hands. His hair was tied up in a long ponytail, with a few braids blended in through the long curtain of ink-black locks. They almost had a royal-blue tint to them. His eyes held a gentle shade of misty-grey, which blended against the pale tone of his skin. Unlike the disciples working at the building, he didn’t wear a protective mask. Instead, he quickly snapped a pair of gloves on, and proceeded to rummage through his pouches in a fast search. Then, he turned to Tang Shuyu. 

“Report state of the patient.” He said in a harsh tone which did not match his delicate looks.

“Body temperature has been steadily dropping. Drastic weight loss. No moments of wakefulness from the coma. No visible nightmares or movements during the coma. Slowing heartbeat. Resistance to usual medicines or qi transfers. No further change in overall appearance.”

Shen Jiu was surprised at the complete personality change in Tang Shuyu. Suddenly, her voice lacked all emotion, and she reported back almost like a living doll. Her tone was completely monotone, without any bias or pitch.

“Any seizures since my departure?”

“None, Shizun.”

“Have you given her any more Blood Nightshade?”

“No, Shizun.”

Peak Lord Lu nodded at that, and then quickly approached Yuan-mei to inspect her. Carefully, he peered open her eyelids which were rolled to the back. Then, he inspected her teeth, throat, and ears. Afterwards, he took off one of his gloves and pressed his fingers at her wrist, only to pull back with a hiss. Instantly, the man slapped the gloves back on.

“Where is Mu Yanqi?” The question made Tang Shuyu lower her head.

“He is still away on a night-hunt with Liu-shixiong.” There was small tremor in her voice, and Shen Jiu couldn’t help the curiosity at who this Mu Yanqi could be.

“Is this Xu-shixiong’s method of getting back at me?” Peak Lord Lu groaned, and then continued to mumble under his breath. If Shen Jiu was even a step further away, he wouldn’t have been able to discern any of the words said, “Sending away mine and Xie-shimei’s Head Disciples away on a night-hunt when they’re desperately needed. Ridiculous. There are lives at stake, but all he cares about is his wounded pride.”

“Shizun, this Tang Shuyu will do her best to assist.” The girl nervously spoke up, and her Shizun didn’t even spare her with a glance; simply nodding. What would have offended Shen Jiu, instead, made Tang Shuyu perk up.

There were genuine stars in her eyes from excitement! What?!

“This one won’t disappoint Shizun!”

“You better not!“ And then, Peak Lord Lu’s gaze landed on Shen Jiu, “And you! Out! I am about to treat my patient!” Before he could even get a word in, he was already grabbed at the collar by Tang Shuyu, who quickly threw him out into the hallway like a sack rotten fruit. 

“Hey!” He gasped at the harsh treatment, only to see Tang Shuyu buzzed with ecstasy.

“I am not letting you get in the way of Shizun potentially noticing my genius! This might be my chance to steal the position of Head Disciple from Mu-shixiong, and I won’t fail, understand?! Go play or something — I’ll pick you up later, okay?” And the door shut sealed behind her; not leaving any room for argument for Shen Jiu.

Seriously, what was wrong with all these people?! Were they all nuts?! 

Stubbornly, he sat on the floor, exactly where he was left. There were many noises coming from the room, but he couldn’t understand what was being said. Peak Lord Lu and Tang Shuyu would only use overly-complicated medical terms which Shen Jiu had no way of understanding, so he simply had no choice but to wait. And the wait was long.

“I see that you’re awake now.”

The voice from behind almost spooked him to death. For someone as cautious as Shen Jiu to not have been able to hear the man’s approach was terrifying!

“Don’t just creep up on people!” He shouted out before he could stop himself. For a moment, he thought that he would get smacked for his tongue, but the man only let out a small chuckle.

“Ah, forgive this master. I’ve been told I have quiet steps.” Yeah, no shit! “This one is the Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak. Jiang Tianhe. May I know your name?” Oh. So, this was the man who had been fussing over Shen Jiu and Yuan-mei day and night. The one.. Writing a research paper? Was that what Tang Shuyu said?

He didn’t look like the type. Jiang Tianhe was beautiful, even better looking than some of the women Shen Jiu had seen working at the brothels. His eyes were the color of the sun, and his light-chestnut hair was freely spilling at the back with a couple of small braids tied in the back and locked in place with a small metallic pin. There were amber gems embedded throughout his appearance which decorated both the crown atop his head and the sides of his head. He wore many layers of white-green robes, with golden illustrations at the sleeves and inner collar. Unlike Peak Lord Lu’s pale — almost sickly — complexion, Jiang Tianhe had an evident light tan, which perfectly highlighted the sparks of gold in his jewelry and robes.

“Shen Jiu.” He said, and watched the main raise his brows in curiosity.

“Character for nine?” He asked, and Shen Jiu had to hold himself back from lashing out.

“No. For black jade.” He corrected, and Jiang Tianhe nodded.

“So, Shen Jiu. Would you like to have a little chat over tea and snacks?”

 

 

 

 

 

Shen Yuan woke up, but her eyes remained shut. Quickly, she concentrated on the sounds around her. The smells. The sensation. She couldn’t feel Jiu-ge’s qi around her, meaning that her brother was either away or taken. Meaning — she was alone. With a small sniff, she identified that the sickening smell in the room belonged to the herbs Shizun often carried on himself. Blood Nightshade, Ghost Vine, and.. Resentment Poppy. Was she captured by demonic cultivators? Were those Wu Yanzi’s friends, having figured out what happened they decided to sought out revenge? Or were they simply after the demonic cultivation prodigy – Wu Yuan? She prayed to the Heavens that Jiu-ge was okay.

Then, she heard steps, and two people have walked inside the enclosed space. Shen Yuan focused. Their cultivation bases were strong, but fragile. Spiritual cultivators. Humans. One carried himself in confidence, the other one’s steps were as silent as a breeze of wind. Their robes made a lot of noise, meaning they wore multiple, thick layers. People of status. Small dangling noise. Jewelry. Rich. 

“Shen Yuan. You should open your eyes. You’re not in danger.” One of the people spoke, and Shen Yuan had no choice but to obey. Before her were two men, around the same height, ethereal beauties. One of them carried a sword at the hip, however, she was unable to recognize it at glance.

Shen Yuan — when she was still Wu Yuan — had met countless of important people within the circle of demonic cultivation. Although Wu Yanzi hadn’t brought her to the private party hosted by Qiu Wanyan, he had in the past brought her to other events, such as private sparrings where demonic masters would bet money on whose disciple would win. When Shen Yuan had joined such events for the first time, she was beaten black and blue by the sneering bullies who flashed their skills before their Shizuns. Nobody had even cared that Shen Yuan was barely half their size and age. People who attended such events only craved two things — a good show and storm of violence. To them, seeing a child hurt to death was nothing but the norm. What had surprised her, however, was how many so-called righteous cultivators had attended such events as well. Once, she had even spotted the Huan Hua Palace Master! Now, that was quite a shock! To think that old man was hiding such secrets and having good time amongst the ‘dirt’ of cultivation society.

Wu Yanzi would always carefully observe her during each one of the fights, and after she would recover from her injuries, they would replay the match, over and over, where he would repeat the exact same moves that her opponents had used on her until she would learn to dodge, evade, and attack. For all the terrible things he had done to her, he sure succeeded in making her worth to be called his disciple.

“And yet you carry a sword.” She spoke calmly. Should the man strike, she knew to throw a blanket over them and to jump out the way. They had advantage of numbers, but her smaller form made her faster. There could also be an element of surprise. “How do you know my name?”

“Your brother told us.” The first man kept on speaking. He didn’t show offense at her cold tone. The second man studied her with a complicated look. He was staring her up and down, but not in perverted way. Rather clinical. That must be the healer to whom the room belonged.

“Where is he?” Shen Yuan’s eyes narrowed, and the first man lifted up his palms as if to show that he had no ill intentions. Hah. As if he wasn’t able to manipulate the sword without needing to touch it. The weapon was strong, she could feel its pulsing energy from afar. It hissed at her angrily — seeing her as a threat due to contrast of cultivation bases. 

“He’s in the next room. Do you want us to bring him here? Would that make you feel better?” The first one asked, and just as she was about to agree, she paused.

“You’ve come here without him.. Is that because you wish to speak in privacy?” Both men exchanged a surprised glance.

“Sharp.” The healer nodded in approval, “I believe introductions are in order. This one is the Peak Lord of Qian Cao. Courtesy name Lu Tianrui.”

“This one is the Peak Lord of Qing Jing. Courtesy name Jiang Tianhe.”

Shen Yuan was about to open her mouth to introduce herself, but then recalled that they already knew her name.

“Respectable Immortal Masters. This one thanks you for saving me and my brother in the time of need.” She clasped her hands together and did a small bow, not fitting for the people before her, but before she could move to do a proper one, she was quickly stopped by Jiang Tianhe.

“There is no need.” He assured, and helped her sit back down.

Those two weren’t some random fancy cultivators. Peak Lords of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.. Such could be both luck or misfortune. However, Shen Yuan decided to use a more respectful approach to remain on a side of caution.

“What do Immortal Masters wish to speak about with this Shen Yuan?”

“Shen Yuan, what can you tell us about the demonic energy in your spiritual veins?” Lu Tianrui got straight to the point, and the straightforwardness made Shen Yuan shy away.

“This one doesn’t know.” She said in a dead-beat tone that gave nothing away. But the Peak Lords were not fools. It seemed that once someone became a Shizun they gained an internal lie detector, because in an instant, Lu Tianrui’s face frowned in disappointment.

“Shen Yuan, do not lie. This is a matter of your health. Your life.” Lu Tianrui tried again, but the girl shrugged her shoulders.

“This one truly doesn’t know. It seems my illness made me lose memory.” She squinted her eyes, to make it look like she was deeply distraught, “Immortal Masters, is there something deeply wrong with this Shen Yuan?”

“Do you take us for—?!” Before Lu Tianrui could finish his sentence, a hand of his martial sibling settled on his shoulder.

“Shidi, let me.” Jiang Tianhe’s voice was much more pleasant. It held a soothing charm to it, which instantly calmed Shen Yuan’s pacing heartbeat, “Why don’t you leave us for a bit?”

“I was in charge of her healing! I have a right to be here!” Lu Tianrui argued. Jiang Tianhe said nothing, but simply smiled. That was all it took to convince Lu Tianrui to retreat to another room. He did huff on his way out though. 

“Well, now that that’s taken care of..” Jiang Tianhe turned back around to look at Shen Yuan. She pondered whether she should keep up the act of a weeping maiden, but having realized that her act was fooling no one and only embarrassing her, she slipped back into her stoneless face, “Before I ask any further questions, let me make something clear. No harm will come to you for admitting practices of demonic cultivation, you will not be punished for your nature, and no harm will come to your brother. So, feel free to speak freely with this master, as this master only wishes to help.”

Shen Yuan stared.

Jiang Tianhe then proceeded to raise his right hand with his three fingers (index, middle, and ring) extended out, “If this master is lying, may the Heavens strike this one down with thunder. This master promises that he only hopes to help Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu.”

Shen Yuan chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about the situation that she was in. Her wounds — even older ones — had been tended to, disinfected and dressed in bandages. If her brother had thought that they were in danger, then there would be already some type of commotion going on. Lastly, unlike the masters and disciples of Huan Hua Sect, she had actually never seen any cultivators from Cang Qiong Sect during any demonic-party events. People here seemed to be truly righteous, not just by word.

And wasn’t this.. What she had wanted all along? To bring Shen Jiu to a good sect and ensure that he was alright? Shen Yuan considered her words, advantages and disadvantages, and eventually jerked a small nod of her head.

Jiang Tianhe gave her a reassuring smile of an angel, “This one is grateful for your trust.” Bold, bold words.

“I do not trust you.” She could barely hold back a scoff.

“That’s also alright.” Jiang Tianhe accepted the icy sharpness of the statement with ease, and slid right over it, “Shen Yuan, could you please tell me about the matter of such concentrated demonic energy in your body?”

“Well..” Shen Yuan played with the edge of her sleeve, and then sighed in defeat, “My late Shizun was fascinated with demonic cultivation. He took me on as his disciple when I was eight years old, and began to experiment on me with demonic cultivation.”

“At eight..? How young.” She heard Jiang Tianhe murmur to himself, but then he gave her a reassuring nod to let her continue.

“He had a theory that if children cultivated the demonic path from a young age without fully established foundations, then their bases would adapt and become stronger than those of orthodox path.” 

“Hm.. I see.” Jiang Tianhe hummed. Although not much showed on his face. Somehow, Shen Yuan could still tell that the information given to him had fascinated his scholarly side, “I’ve never heard of such practice before.”

“Do you not believe me?”

“No, no. I do.” He then reached out his finger to press them against her wrist. Shen Yuan had expected the usual backlash, however, her spiritual veins had actually..

“You practice demonic cultivation?” She asked; startled.

“Not at all.” Jiang Tianhe shook his head, “Knowing the basics is not the same as practicing. Long ago, I’ve taught myself a trick of converting life source into demonic qi in cases of emergency or curiosity. I might not look it, but I have deep fascination on the subject, and I often help out Peak Lord Lu with victims of demonic experimentation. Thus, both myself and Peak Lord Lu know a couple of tricks. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be fit to help.”

A life source? That’s such a risk. Shen Yuan kept her opinion to herself. The man was a scholar, so he might have a good reason to choose that over other methods. Or perhaps, life source was the only thing he had. If Jiang Tianhe held no heart demons, no deep resentment, and no foul artifact, then it was truly the only way. This would also explain why the man didn’t have any noticeable traces of demonic energy on him.

“Now, Shen Yuan—“ He clasped his hands in his palms. She hadn’t even noticed when the man had the chance to grab a chair around to take a seat. He was truly.. Eerily quiet. Very sneaky. “—are you aware about what had happened to you when you fell into a coma?”

“No.” She had theories, but nothing set in stone. 

“You had a breakthrough in your cultivation.” Shen Yuan blinked. A breakthrough? At.. Thirteen? “However, considering that the only energy inside you is demonic and the mutation of your bases has become inhuman.. There have been changes to your visual appearance.”

The man proceeded to pull out a bronze mirror quite literally out of nowhere, and held it out for her to take. Reluctantly, she accepted, and peered down at her reflection.

She looked like a demon.

Her eyes were an over exaggerated version of her natural forest green, but instead, they were shining with neon-lime. Her slits — previously round and human — were now sharp like those of a snake. Her front teeth had two sharp fangs, her nails have grown into claws, and her ears grew pointed ends. Out of everything — the eyes were a dead giveaway that her nature was not entirely human anymore.

 

Disgusting.

 

Shen Yuan let out a bitter laugh, “To think that Shizun got what he wanted, but he’s not even here to see it.” How could she continue her life right now? Forever live in a Demon Realm?

Death. Death was her only option. She had to die. She couldn’t live like this. 

“Shen Yuan, both myself and Peak Lord Lu have discussed potential solutions to this problem.”

“This.. Can be fixed?” Hope swelled up in her chest.

“While we figure out the best course of treatment, we have found seals that can be put in place, to conceal your appearance. However, they would have to be renewed every three months.”

“That’s.. Very kind, Peak Lord Jiang.” But nothing ever came for free, “What do you want then?”

 

“Shen Yuan. I want you and your brother to become my disciples.” Jiang Tianhe smirked, “What do you say? You mentioned that your late Shizun has passed. This master can guide and protect you from now on.” 

Notes:

..aaand they’ve reached the cang qiong mountain sect! here is little info on the two peak lords we met in this chapter, but i’ll post a full list in the next one in beginning notes!

• Qing Jing Peak Lord (Clear Calm Peak) — Jiang Yun. Courtesy name: Jiang Tianhe.

• Qian Cao Peak Lord (Thousand Grass Peak) — Lu Ziyan. Courtesy name: Lu Tianrui.

these two will be pretty important moving forward — especially Jiang Tianhe!

thanks for reading & see yall in the next chapter! thanks so much to everyone who commented or left a kudo! honestly, it motivates me to edit and write faster, so thank you!!!

Chapter 6: Hungry thing

Summary:

Wu Yanzi had always called her stupid.

Of course he was right.

Notes:

Tian (天) — Heaven, Distant, Authority. (A generation of Peak Lords that was focused on reaching high goals, power and prestige.)

Previous generation of Peak Lords (ordered by Peak Hierarchy):

• Qiong Ding Peak (Domed Roof Peak // Sect Leader’s Peak) — Xu Ming. Courtesy name: Xu Tianyuan. (MALE) — OLDEST — SECT LEADER.

• Qing Jing Peak (Clear Calm Peak // Scholar’s Peak) — Jiang Yun. Courtesy name: Jiang Tianhe. (MALE) — 3rd in age.

• An Ding Peak (Steady Peak // Logistics Peak) — Han Ziyan. Courtesy name: Han Tianshu. (FEMALE) — 2nd in age.

• Wan Jiang Peak (Ten Thousand Swords Peak // Blacksmith’s Peak) — Wei Yucheng. Courtesy name: Wei Tianhuo. (MALE — Wei Yanzhi’s brother) — 5th in age.

• Bai Zhan Peak (Hundred Battles Peak // Warrior’s Peak) — Xie Zhaoyun. Courtesy name: Xie Tianmiao. (FEMALE) — 6th in age.

• Qian Cao Peak (Thousand Grass Peak // Healer’s Peak) — Lu Ziyan. Courtesy name: Lu Tianrui. (MALE) — 7th in age.

• Xian Shu Peak (Immortal Ladies Peak // Women’s Peak) — Wei Yanzhi. Courtesy name: Wei Tianlie. (FEMALE — Wei Yucheng’s sister) — 4th in age.

• Ku Xing Peak (Ascetic Peak // Monk’s Peak) — Fang Duan. Courtesy name: Fang Tianjue. (MALE) — 8th in age.

• Xu Shou Peak (Beast Taming Peak) — Lin Zhaoxu. Courtesy name: Lin Tianying. (MALE) — 9th in age.

• Lian Xing Peak (Star-Forge Peak // Engineering and Mechanics Peak) — Gao Zhenhai. Courtesy name: Gao Tianyan. (MALE) — 11th in age.

• Chi Cheng Peak (Peak of True Sincerity // Judgement Peak) — Zhao Yunlan. Courtesy name: Zhao Tianxiu. (MALE) — YOUNGEST.

• Tian Ji Peak (Heaven’s Secret Peak // Fortune Teller’s Peak) — Meng Shuyi. Courtesy name: Meng Tianhui. (FEMALE) — 10th in age.

So, before naming and coming up with the previous generation of Peak Lords, I tried to do research on whether the novel/MXTX have ever mentioned the hierarchy between the Peaks. All that I could find was that Qing Jing Peak was 2nd, and An Ding Peak was 3rd. Some said that Bai Zhan was 4th, but in the novel it is mentioned to be 7th? Also, although it felt wrong, I put Qian Cao Peak below Bai Zhan considering that Mu Qingfang was called ‘shidi’ by both Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu, so I assumed that it was below Bai Zhan. Anyways, I tried my best. Also, there was not a full list of all 12 Peaks (at least none that I could find), so I came up with some myself.

I shall stop yapping and let you all read! Please, don’t bother memorizing and feel free to come back to the list here!

• TW/CW for the following chapter: self-harm (cutting), blood, bullying, flashbacks/thoughts about past child abuse, thoughts about suicide, depression

Moving to the dorms.. Was an adventure. Shen Yuan in all the years of her life has never been surrounded by so many girls before. Girls her age nonetheless! The rooms actually smelled nice and were quite organized. Shen Yuan wasn’t the one to complain, but the difference has been startling. Her late Shizun had a habit to throw things around, spill ink on the floor, and intentionally make mess of their belongings just to see Shen Yuan clean up after him. So, to be met with folded clothes, made beds and sparkling floors.. Was astounding. 

“You’re Shen Yuan, right?” A girl with hundreds of braids in her hair, and beautiful flowers decorating the side of her head had spoken up, “It is nice to meet you!” She proceeded to bow, “This one is Jiang Yulian.” The girl beamed at her, and Shen Yuan was struck with the similarity she bore to Jiang Tianhe, “To think that we would get a new shimei in the middle of the year! This is so exciting!”

Shen Yuan wasn’t sure what to say, so she stood there dumbfounded for a while. Now that she thought about it.. Shen Yuan had never really.. Interacted with other girls before! She had no idea what to expect! 

As if sensing her nervousness, Jiang Yulian chuckled, “Can I call you A-Yuan?” Shen Yuan felt herself blush, “Awww! Your cheeks are all pink. You’re so cute!” Jiang Yulian giggled, which only made Shen Yuan get even more flustered and overwhelmed. If this was a boy, she would have already punched him square in the face for daring to tease her, but this was a girl! (When in doubt — knock your opponent out! Her mind screamed, but she shushed the thoughts.) How was Shen Yuan supposed to respond?! 

“Aiyo! Lian-shijie, please don’t bully our new shimei! Can’t you see how shy she is?” Shy?! Someone else spoke up in the room, but their defense only made Shen Yuan feel more embarrassed.

“Hey!” Another girl popped out seemingly out of nowhere, “I think we have the same lesson schedule. Do you want to go together?” Shen Yuan blinked, and then completely surrendered to muteness. Why were they all talking to her? What was this?!

She nodded after some time, “Amazing! Come along, come along! Music lessons are my favorite!”

 

And so, they left.

 

What other disciples were not aware of, was that Shen Yuan’s education majorly differed from the rest. Every teacher and hall master had been sworn to secrecy, and instructed to not let the new girl use spiritual energy, and should she fall into a qi deviation, to call for either Peak Lord Lu or Peak Lord Jiang. They weren’t given reasons behind such odd instructions, but rushed to obey, hoping to earn a favor with their master. 

(The reason why Jiang Tianhe hadn’t isolated Shen Yuan at the healing pavilion was because he could tell that the girl desperately needed socialization. Both her and her brother glared at everything that moved and hissed at anything that dared to try and touch. To attempt and dispel heart demons when someone’s mental stability was in such turmoil was an impossible task. So, Jiang Tianhe decided to start slow. He roomed Shen Yuan with friendliest girls on the Peak (whom he personally asked to look after Shen Yuan), he designed her lesson schedule around arts and music to help advocate for new interests within her, and he would prove his ability to provide a safe space where the girl could let her guard down).

(Before they could dig deeper, they had to meet basic needs first).

Shen Yuan sat down next to the girl who dragged her along, and instantly felt herself zoning out. She couldn’t focus. There were too many thoughts on her mind, and she felt agitated. Against her will, her leg began to anxiously bounce up-and-down, until the rapid movement eventually caught the teacher’s attention. The man was a visiting scholar — specializing in the musical arts — personally invited by Jiang Tianhe to teach for three years in exchange for unlimited access to Qing Jing Peak’s library during the time of work.

All students who had the privilege to study under him have shown nothing but respect. To think that the new disciple would be so..

“Disciple Shen.” He called out, and for a long moment, Shen Yuan did not respond. She was still getting used to the new name, “Disciple Shen!” The teacher raised his voice, however, that still did not move the girl’s gaze from the corner of the room.

Irritated and offended, the teacher picked up a small piece of paper, bended it into a ball, and flickered it with a weak pulse of qi towards the girl, aiming at her forehead. He had thought that the hit would snap her out of daydream, however, what he hadn’t anticipated was for the girl’s gaze to instantly narrow down on the incoming “attack”, and for her to catch the ball between her fingers like it was nothing.

For a moment, everyone stared in silence. The paper ball was small, and fast. She wasn’t even looking until a second ago.

“Do I have your attention now, Disciple Shen?” The teacher cleared his throat, and Shen Yuan found herself nodding.

“Apologies, Chen-laoshi.” She ducked her head, and the man sighed.

“No matter. First lessons are always hard, but it would be best for you to not daydream in the middle of my lecture.” He scolded, lightly.

Shen Yuan nodded, “This one understands, Chen-laoshi.”

“Mhm.” He hummed, and went back to his work. 

The rest of the lesson didn’t go any better. After they were done going over popular musical tunes and discussions of theory of musical cultivation, Chen-laoshi later insisted that they move on towards the practical bit of the lesson. Shen Yuan had been confident at first. She knew she wasn’t allowed to use her demonic qi in public, so all she had to do was simply copy movements and play, however—

“A-Yuan!” The girl next to her gasped. In Shen Yuan’s hands, the previously perfectly functioning flute, was snapped in half.

“I—“ Shen Yuan gulped, “I am not sure what happened.”

Chen-laoshi considered her for a moment, and then bent down to inspect the flute, “Your grip was too tight. You broke the wood. Was it that hard to blow air into the instrument for you?” Shen Yuan flushed, suddenly every disciple around was staring at her with big, gaping eyes. Some were even giggling at her failure, finding enjoyment in her embarrassment.

“I.. I apologize. I’ll accept any punishment.” Shen Yuan then subconsciously gripped the flute again, cracking the wood further. Seeing it, she dropped the instrument as if she got burned.

Chen-laoshi rubbed his chin, “Hm.. I might have to look for something more sturdy for you. You have impressive physical strength considering your slim physique.” Yeah.. Demonic bases were no joke. Wu Yanzi would have surely been very pleased. Just one thought of her late Shizun darkened Shen Yuan’s mood further, “Disciple Shen, it is alright. Mistakes are made, and we must learn from them. There will be no punishment.”

However, the lesson only lead towards further disaster. It seemed like every single instrument that Shen Yuan picked up would either crack or break. After a third attempt at guqin where Shen Yuan snapped yet another set of strings, Chen-laoshi seemed to have had enough. He didn’t shout at the girl, but asked her to stop and to remain after class. Nervously, Shen Yuan obeyed. 

 

Wu Yanzi had always called her stupid.

 

Of course he was right.

 

“Disciple Shen, let me see your hands.” The girl gulped, already knowing what was to come. Sharp ruler against her palms, or metal rod cracked upon her fingers. Worst of all? A whip on her already scarred wrists.

She watched the man reach out, and stilled herself, waiting for impact. Pain was not the issue. Most of all, Shen Yuan couldn’t stomach the anticipation. Knowing what was coming, but not knowing when and how severe. Chen-laoshi was not as bulky and tall as Wu Yanzi, but she knew better than most that physical appearance could easily deceive. Someone’s strength reflected through their cultivation level, not physical build.

However.. Nothing happened. Chen-laoshi gently inspected her hands while turning them up and down. She had never been held with so much care and kindness by another.. Only by Jiu-ge and Qi-ge.

“I’ve been told not to pass you qi should you get injured.” The man said, and then reached into his sleeve to take out a salve, “So, this master prepared in advance should something like this happen.” And then, he did the most shocking thing. Chen-laoshi began to wipe away her bloodied fingers that got sliced by the strings, and then applied generous amounts of salve onto each cut, nick, and wound. Shen Yuan stared in entranced silence.

“Does it hurt bad? The bleeding was quite excessive.” She hadn’t known. Because she didn’t pay attention. Her wounds always closed up.

 

It never mattered.

 

“Laoshi, why are you..” She gulped, “I don’t understand.” She finally forced out.

“What do you not understand?” Chen-laoshi’s gaze hardened, “Your next lesson is in calligraphy, is it not? We can’t have you bleeding all over paper.” Ah. That made more sense.

They didn’t want her filthy blood spilling on the priceless material.

Shen Yuan ducked her head down, not understanding why her chest ached with disappointment.

“Alright, looks better now.” Chen-laoshi had even bandaged up the cuts with thin layers of silk, “You should treat those again in the evening. Give them a good soak, and change the bandages. We can’t have you getting an infection.”

“Yes, Chen-laoshi. This lowly one is grateful.” She bowed, and the man shook his head.

“Lowly one? Do you not know the honor that it is to study at Qing Jing Peak? Only most promising talents and brightest minds are gathered here. Do not offend your Shizun’s name with such language.” The man scolded her, and Shen Yuan found herself chewing her inner cheek raw. Why was she messing up left and right? Somehow, pleasing Wu Yanzi was easier than pleasing the crowd of proud immortal masters.

“Dismissed. Go to your next lesson or you’ll be late.”

The next lesson did not go any better. Shen Yuan was very fluent in reading, but the only times she had to write would be with her blood on talismans or with a stick on the muddy ground to help her memorize terms, characters or spellings of names. Wu Yanzi never cared for such things as ‘elegancy’, so calligraphy was never part of her ‘curriculum’. Ye Zihan had tried — back when she was just brought to the manor — but even he had told her many times that she had no talent, and would beat her bloody for spilling ink or messing up a ‘simple stroke’.

“Disciple Shen.. Can you even read what you just wrote?” In fact, she could. All demonic cultivators had terrible handwritings, so her eye had been long trained to be able to decipher even the most muddied and shaky characters. But clearly that was not the answer she was expected the give..

 

She heard someone whisper her name.

 

A childish giggle followed.

 

Shen Yuan reached out to scratch at her inner wrist. Pain helped her cool her mind and think straight. Distracted her from the voices and judgement around her.

“I apologize, Shui-laoshi..” Shen Yuan swallowed a lump. The woman gave a long sigh, as she replaced the poem that Shen Yuan was copying with.. A scroll of basic characters for beginners.

 

Someone laughed even harder.

 

Shen Yuan felt something sharp sting in her stomach.

 

‘Stupid girl.’ Wu Yanzi’s voice echoed.

 

‘Useless, talentless waste!’ Ye Zihan’s shadow loomed at the back of her mind.

 

Shen Yuan shook the thoughts away. Trying to ignore the ghosts of her past.

“Try this. It might be easier for you.” Shui-laoshi then left to look over another student’s work, and Shen Yuan’s insides twisted in on themselves.

The brush snapped in her hand.

Her eyes widened at the fact.

“Disciple Shen..” Shui-laoshi groaned, “Come back to my class after dinner. It seems you require additional guidance.”

“Understood, Shui-laoshi.”

 

History lessons.. Were the worst ones yet. 

 

“Disciple Shen! Sit back down! Where do you think you are going?” Huang-laoshi — history teacher — fumed, but Shen Yuan only tilted her head to the side in confusion. Was she really supposed to say aloud..? She guessed there was no choice.

“This one needs to leave the classroom.”

“To do what?! You’re in the middle of a lecture and you’re disrupting everyone!” The teacher snapped back. But?! Wasn’t he disrupting it even more by bringing so much attention to her?!

“This one needs to..” She glanced at Jiang Yulian for help, but the other girl also seemed to be confused by her. She was on her own. “..use the bathroom.” Shen Yuan tried to sound as unbothered as possible. 

“You couldn’t have gone before the class?!”

“I didn’t want to before class..”

Wasn’t she now stating back the obvious?

Eventually, Huang-laoshi had let her go but warned her that next time she should relieve herself either before or after the lectures.

However, the next instance was no better. And to Shen Yuan’s cursed luck, it happened to be the exact same teacher. They definitely set off at a bad foot. 

One of Shen Yuan’s shixiongs sitting in the back — Sun Qiang — had decided that it would be hilarious to thrown a small stone at the back of her head to see how she would react. For once, the girl hadn’t seen it coming, and hissed upon impact. 

“Why did you do that?” She asked — loud enough that it spoke over Hiang-laoshi’s lecture — and stared Sun Qiang dead in the eyes.

“I didn’t do anything.” He easily defended, and then smirked, “You must have daydreamed something again, shimei.” 

“Disciple Shen! No talking in class!” Huang-laoshi snapped his ruler down on his table, “One more peep from you and you’ll be sent out! Understood!” Oh?

“Can I leave then, Huang-laoshi?” She asked, genuinely confused how that was supposed to be a punishment.

“You—! I can’t believe—!” It genuinely seemed like the old man was about to qi deviate, so Shen Yuan quickly sat back down and frowned. 

“But he threw a rock at me.” She tried to reason, but the man only let out a long, loud sigh.

“Do you perhaps enjoy being the center of attention, disciple Shen?” Huang-laoshi scoffed, and instead of being sent out or told off, he simply went back to teaching as if Shen Yuan’s gaze was not burning a hole through him. The girl even heard Sun Qiang chuckle in delight, throwing another small stone at the back of her head like it was nothing. Thankfully, Jiang Yulian glared back at the boy with ferocity of a mother bear, and their shixiong finally stopped his stupid game. 

“A-Yuan.. I’m sorry.” Her shijie whispered, but Shen Yuan said nothing as she went back to staring at the books.

The days passed by in similar fashion. With each lesson, Shen Yuan would either perform with an average skill (cooking, sewing), while in others, she would make an utter fool out of herself (music, calligraphy, history). Jiang Tianhe thought that she’ll find new hobbies and friends, but completely failed to consider Shen Yuan’s antisocial behavior and lack of understanding communicative cues. 

The only subjects where she felt more or less confident were cultivation theory and general knowledge classes. Identifying animals and plants from images or descriptions was so easy to her that she had managed to gain her first, genuine praise from a teacher! She was over the moon when it happened. The disciples on the other hand..

 

“What a show off..”

 

“At least there’s one thing that she’s good at.”

 

“She’s still completely hopeless.”

 

“Why did Shizun want her so badly anyway? I heard that her brother has been excellent in all subjects that he picked up..”

 

“Shizun probably just didn’t want to separate the siblings from one another, he’s kind-hearted after all. But I bet he only wanted Shen-shidi.”

 

“I can’t even sense spiritual energy on her. Does she even know how to cultivate? Isn’t she already thirteen?”

 

“I bet it’ll take her a decade to form a Golden Core. If she ever will.”

 

“A decade? Try two decades! No, three!”

 

Shen Yuan shakily sat back down from where she stood. She had thought that proving to others that she wasn’t a complete idiot would better her reputation, but only the opposite seemed to have happened. Why? Did they just.. Not like her? Did it even matter how she preformed? 

“A-Yuan, that was amazing!” Jiang Yulian’s voice pierced through all the nasty gossip. The girl flashed her a full-teethed smile, “I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as False Orchids. I always thought that there were only Lilac and Turquoise ones!”

“Ah, yeah.” Shen Yuan tried to physically stop herself from listening to all the others around. With all gathered strength, she focused on Jiang Yulian’s sweet tone and encouraging smile, “Shizun had also once shown me Jade Orchids.”

“Shizun..?” The girl frowned, “When did he do that?”

“Uh.” Shen Yuan blinked away the surprise. She hadn’t meant to say that, “I.. Uhm.. Had a different Shizun before coming here.”

Jiang Yulian seemed like she wanted to ask more, but she was a smart girl, and dropped the topic, “And what about Twelve-Tailed Snow Foxes? Have you seen those too? It is said that seeing them is a sign of good luck!” Well.. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure about the ‘luck’ detail. 

“Yes, I have actually! Their fur is so beautiful, and they’re.. So fluffy.”

“That’s so cool. When I grow up, I hope to become a wandering cultivator and see as many animals as possible!” Jiang Yulian announced, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but agree. One thing she loved doing while living with Wu Yanzi — it was seeing the world and its creatures, “You only get small beasts around here.. Not many come to Qing Jing Peak. Shizun is too paranoid, and he puts up many fancy barriers.” 

“I’ve noticed.” Shen Yuan said, “But I have seen quite a few insects. They can be interesting as well.”

“Nope, you lost me, A-Yuan.” Jiang Yulian laughed, “I scream like I’m being butchered at the sight of a bug.” Shen Yuan could easily imagine that. Jiang Yulian was a gentle soul, but she was very pampered and spoiled. Of course silly things like bugs would freak her out.

“Then I’ll be sure to keep all bugs away from you.” Shen Yuan whispered, and her shijie seemed to have melted at the words.

“Thank you, A-Yuan! I’ll hold you to that!”

(That same evening, Jiang Yulian screeched in the middle of the night.

Shen Yuan woke with cold sweat, thinking that they were under attack. In truth, Jiang Yulian had noticed a Night-Hound Spider making a spiderweb in the corner. Shen Yuan felt that it was a terrible pity to kill such a rare bug — it even had small traces of demonic qi! how amazing! — but had no choice at the sight of Jiang Yulian’s tears. 

”A-Yuan.. P-please.. Kill it!” She sobbed. 

“Okay, okay. Let shimei see where it is.”) 

 

 

 

 

 

Peak Lord Lu was sat at his desk, his head practically buried in the endless piles of paperwork. Shen Yuan stalled at the door, unsure whether if she wanted to disturb the man or not. Last time they met, he seemed short-tempered and invasive. But then again. He had just finished saving a patient from the after-effects of demonic cultivation breakthrough, and then the said patient kicked him out of the room. She didn’t blame herself for what she did, but she could understand the sour attitude.

“How long are you planning to stare at me?” Lu Tianrui didn’t even lift his eyes, but he did gesture with his gloved hands for her to enter. So, she followed through.

“This disciple greets Peak Lord Lu.” She bowed, and took a seat.

“Uh-huh.” Lu Tianrui hummed, and continued to fill out one document after another.

Time passed.

Shen Yuan didn’t make a sound. Sun began to lower.. The girl was starting to feel a bit hungry. Lu Tianrui was still fully submerged in his work, and did not care that he had a guest. Shen Yuan didn’t mind too much. She was all too-used to people not respecting her time. Lu Tianrui knew that she was a child of demonic experimentation. She had a dirty past. Most likely, she also had no future. Why would he ever respect her? Why would he care? 

“That should be the end of it. Xu-shixiong sure has pride of a Three-headed-lion.”

Lu Tianrui sighed, and then proceeded to stretch his back. Shen Yuan winced at the loud popping sounds of adjusted bones. The man then proceeded to crack his neck left-and-right, and she was left amazed that he didn’t end up killing himself on the spot.

“So.” Lu Tianrui cleared his throat, “Me and Jiang-shixiong have been talking, and we have come to conclusion about what to do with you.” Shen Yuan furrowed her brows, but did not interrupt, “But before we do anything, we have to understand what you want to do.”

Shen Yuan was left utterly confused.

“There are multiple things that can be done.” He rested his chin against his palm. Unlike Jiang Tianhe.. Lu Tianrui didn’t have much poise and elegance in him.

“We can try to purge all demonic energy out of you. This way, you can maybe start anew. There are risks. We’ll have to use medications that have never been used before. All theory based. You’ll have to go through extensive treatments, you’ll spend a lot of time in secluded meditation. And most importantly.. Even if we purge demonic energy out of you, due to your new foundations, you might find spiritual cultivation unfulfilling. It might not resonate with you. And it might take decades before you’ll ever catch up to your peers.”

Shen Yuan considered.

“What are other options?”

“Hm.” Lu Tianrui seemed like he expected for her to reject the first option, “We can keep the demonic energy, and you’ll have to rely on the seal to hide your true cultivation. Problem is, should you suffer qi deviation when neither myself or Jiang-shixiong are around, nobody will be able to help you. You might die. It is a high-risk situation.”

“Dying is not an issue.” She had meant it as an assurance, but the man only frowned in disappointment.

“Another solution we had thought about, is to change the seal. Instead of suppressing your cultivation from being detected, we can change its perception, to make demonic energy appear as spiritual. High-level cultivators might be able to sense an issue, but they shouldn’t confront you about it, as they would likely assume that your seal is faking the level of cultivation rather than its nature. Should you wish to keep cultivating, we will find a suitable demonic cultivation manual for you. Perhaps, we could even find a teacher who could guide you.”

“I don’t require a new teacher.” Shen Yuan shook her head, “My late Shizun had left enough knowledge with me. I can keep cultivating on my own.” It was pretty much similar stuff everyday. Wu Yanzi would have her meditate, fight, and then strain her meridians to see how much it would take until she’d wail from pain. If she were to get rid of the last bit.. Meditation and practicing martial arts would be no issue.

“Your demonic cultivation extracts its energy from your heart demons. Which leads me to another matter I’ve been meaning to discuss. If you wish to keep cultivating demonic energy, then you’ll have to cooperate with my terms as your shishu and as the one in charge of your health. First, you’ll adjust the source for your resentful energy. Second, you’ll have check-ups with me every three months to ensure there aren’t any strains on your wellbeing. Third, you cannot hurt or murder any of your martial siblings. If either me or Jiang-shixiong find out that you’ve done something to another disciple — you’ll be severely punished.”

“What if I hurt someone during self-defense? Or qi deviation?” Shen Yuan asked. The terms were starting to make her feel nervous. She was a person with an iron-fist. Should someone come up and bother her, she wouldn’t take it sitting down.

“We will investigate each case before deciding on our action. You wouldn’t be punished if there was a good reason behind what you did.” Lu Tianrui easily waved off her concern, “Just because you’re a demonic cultivator, doesn’t mean that you thrive on senseless violence.”

That surprised her. She had assumed that Lu Tianrui’s cool attitude had been due to his dislike towards demonic cultivation.. But then if that were the case.. He wouldn’t be discussing options with her to begin with, would he.

“Lu-shishu, would the seal that masks my demonic energy as spiritual also conceal my true appearance?” She wondered, and the man nodded his head, “And would it have to be renewed every three months?” 

“Yes. We might just apply new one during your health check-ins, so that we wouldn’t waste time.” Lu Tianrui explained.

“And.. Shishu, why are you allowing me a chance to keep cultivating demonic energy? Isn’t such against the beliefs of your sect?” She had to understand why Lu Tianrui and Jiang Tianhe seemed to be so adamant with her care.

The man sighed, “You’re a victim of human experimentation. Even though we could focus on getting rid of demonic energy and turning you into a ‘true spiritual cultivator’, none of that would be for your benefit unless that’s what you truly want.” He leaned back in his chair, “Based from what I observed, disciple Shen, you are someone who seeks strength and security. You would feel bare and vulnerable without your cultivation, as that is the only thing you feel like you have left. Both me and Jiang-shixiong understand that. We can’t take away your security.”

“Shishu..” She was stunned.

“Demonic cultivators have foul reputation, because most of the time they engage in inhumane rituals and sick behavior. The reasons why they seek out demonic energy tend to be immoral. They are known for abuse, violence, and murder. You are not like that. You didn’t choose this.”

Shen Yuan thought for a moment, “Shishu, if not from my heart demons, then where else can I extract resentful energy from?”

“You can try similar methods to spiritual cultivators. Like forming a core.”

Shen Yuan gaped.

Genuinely, she must have misheard.

“Shishu, I can’t have a Golden Core. Golden Cores are developed with spiritual energy. Unlike demonic cultivators, I have none. I am..” ..a demon.

“That’s exactly what I mean. You’ve never tried forming one, because you’ve always assumed that you cannot. However, what if you start treating resentful energy the same way as spiritual cultivators treat their spiritual? During meditation, instead of agitating your heart demons and focusing on your resentment, you could try circling your qi and pressing the energy into a core.” Lu Tianrui saw the hesitation in Shen Yuan and pressed further, “You might be the first human in the cultivation world to have achieved what you have today. If there’s someone who could form a core with demonic qi — it’ll be you.” ..you’re also human. 

“Shishu.. I.. I don’t understand. Why?” Her voice shook, “You and Shizun are keeping this huge secret for my sake, but should someone find out that you didn’t just protect me but also.. Encouraged me to keep up with my cultivation method.. Wouldn’t you suffer severe consequences?”

 

Why aren’t you giving up on me?

Why are you shielding me?

Why are you helping me?

 

“Because you deserve a chance too, Shen Yuan.”

 

His words made Shen Yuan’s heart leap. No. This had to be a lie. People — except for Qi-ge and Jiu-ge — never cared about her. This had to be too good to be true. No way. 

“Okay, you’re dismissed now. This master is getting tired.” Lu Tianrui waved her off before she could ask any more questions, “I’ll call you back here again once I’ll figure out the logistics for the new seal. It might take some time, so be careful not to expose your cultivation until then.”

“Yes, shishu.”

 

 

 

 

 

Life continued on. Although most of the disciples chose to alienate Shen Yuan for various reasons, she still had the company of the three girls with whom she was sharing a room at the dormitories (Jiang Yulian, Meng Xinzhen, Lin Ruhua) and her brother.

Jiu-ge — unlike his sister — due to his fast skills and intelligence, quickly became popular among his peers. Shen Yuan constantly listened to shijies gush about his charming appearance and witty mind, giggling whenever he would turn his head and they’d catch a glimpse of his ‘heavenly side profile’. In fact, Shen Yuan had even listened to an especially deranged romantic write a poem about him! A poem! And it wasn’t even good! It was absolute trash!!! Even poems from yellow books were better than that, and they were part of the scholarly Peak! What was next? Songs? Tales?! 

Jiu-ge wasn’t a fan of all the attention he got either, and whenever things got too crowded, he would lash out with fiery words and run away to wherever his sister was.

This only made the girls fawning over Jiu-ge even more jealous and callous towards their Shen-shimei. 

Soon enough, not only was Shen Yuan being avoided by people in her classes, but she was also out of favor with the older shijies and shixiongs that shared academic schedule with her brother..

However, she didn’t worry too much.

Her entire life, she has been treated like dirt. She expected malice rather than kindness. The only times when she had been shown respect, was when she was still called ‘Wu Yuan’ with her demonic cultivation out in the open. Now, with her skills hidden, she felt lesser than a grey mouse. Completely unimportant and undeserving.

So far, except for nasty rumors and increased chores, nothing else had occurred, so Shen Yuan had paid it no mind. Wu Yanzi and Ye Zihan used to beat her like a carriage horse and call her a stupid waste of space on a daily. A couple of children deciding to not play around with her was a far cry from the sort of violence she grew up with. (But then.. Why did it still hurt?) 

Not many shared her mindset. Jiang Yulian and Jiu-ge seemed to take personal offense to what was happening.

“How are they not ashamed to behave in such a way?” Jiu-ge fussed, as he beat a robe with a wooden paddle against a rock. Shen Yuan was getting worried that her brother would strain a muscle from how much force he was putting into each strike.

“A-Yuan, maybe we should really talk to Shizun about this..” Jiang Yulian sighed, as she together with Shen Yuan rinsed the cloths in the stream of a river.

Near them, in a wooden basket with ash water and droplets of vinegar, laid an entire batch of white-green disciple robes that all had ridiculously-looking stains going all the way from sleeves to bottom. None seemed natural.

“There’s no need.” Shen Yuan dismissed. Jiang Yulian and Jiu-ge obviously had no idea how much Jiang Tianhe had already done for her. She wouldn’t dare to bother the Peak Lord with a small matter such as this. A little bit of bullying, a little bit of ridiculously dirty laundry when Shen Yuan was on duty, a little bit of gossip. Pft! Child’s play!

“Jiang-shijie, your knuckles are turning red. You should go back and rest.” Jiang Yulian’s hands were far too smooth and soft for such labor, “And you too, ge. This is my day to do laundry. You two don’t have to help.”

“Don’t tell me what to do and where to be, brat.” Jiu-ge scoffed.

“Okay, okay.” Shen Yuan knew there was no point in a fight with him, so she turned to the girl instead, “Look, your sleeves are getting all soaked through. Jiang-shijie, you’ll catch a cold at this rate.” And Shizun wouldn’t be all too happy about that.

“But.. A-Yuan..” Her bottom lip trembled.

“I’m okay, shijie. This is not some hard work for me. You should know that I am more than used to washing a couple of robes. So, please? Go back home and rest?” Shen Yuan didn’t often speak in such long sentences, but she found herself feeling more comfortable and chatty whenever around her favorite shijie.

Jiang Yulian seemed to hesitate a few more moments, until she bent under Shen Yuan’s pleading glance.

“Alright.. But then, you have no choice but to eat loads of pastries with me after! No arguing!”

“Okay, shijie.”

Shen Yuan watched the girl gather herself back up, before she hesitantly bowed and left. Jiu-ge and Shen Yuan continued to do laundry in silence for a long time — with Shen Yuan turning from side to side, to crouch before a river and then to check on the stains in the basket — until Jiu-ge spoke up. 

“Why don’t you want to talk with Shizun about this? You know that he would solve this problem right away.” Shen Yuan desperately did not want to have this conversation right now. “You deserve to finally settle in, make friends, and lead a normal life.”

She snorted at the words. Jiu-ge’s glare narrowed. He was as observant as a hawk.

“Did I say something funny?”

“Jiu-ge, aren’t you forgetting something?” Shen Yuan spoke in an easy tone, “I can never lead a ‘normal life’. It is already an honor that Shizun is letting me stay.” She then sighed, avoiding all eye contact with her brother, “When we left the manor, I had originally planned to leave you here at the sect to study cultivation like you always wanted. And I.. Was going to go travel, so that I wouldn’t drag you down. Be a rogue.”

“You were going to leave me behind?”

Well, more like, Shen Yuan’s original plan was to kill herself the moment she knew that her Jiu-ge was safe. She had lost her will to live long ago. It drowned the day when Wu Yanzi had held her head underwater, and it was yet to resurface back up. The dark thoughts have been more at bay with Jiang Yulian and Jiu-ge constantly fussing over her (and after the heartwarming talk she had with Peak Lord Lu at the healing pavilion), but she didn’t feel herself completely freed for the clutches of yearning death. Some nights as she laid in bed, the cold creeped under her bones. Sometimes, it almost felt like she could hear the ghosts calling out to her. Trying to pull her back under. Trying to coax her into tying a noose. Trying to convince her to slice at her flesh.

“No. But it’s not like people can be together forever. Death eventually separates them.”

Jiu-ge stared at her like he had seen a ghost. His skin suddenly paled, and mouth fell open with an ‘o’ shape. A dark frown crossed his face. 

“Meimei.” He carefully called out. All previous ire was gone in an instant. What had happened? Where did this sudden switch had come from? “Meimei, are you still thinking about what happened with.. your..” He seemed to hesitate, “..previous Shizun?”

Shen Yuan froze up.

Right, she had said something along those lines right after Wu Yanzi died. Silly gege, what was he thinking? Getting worried over nothing. Causing so much fuss..

“Of course not! Why would I?” She tilted her head to the side while fake smile stretched on her lips, “It was long time coming.” There was no other choice, “Anyways, gege should really get going or your admirers will think I stole you away again.” She forced out chuckle. The change of topic had worked wonders, because in an instant, the other flushed bright red in his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Stop saying that! I don’t have any admirers!” He hissed out like an angered cat. And then swung the wooden paddle even harder.

“Yeah, right.”

“Shut up!”

“Woah! Careful there! Don’t crack the rock! Gege!”

“I said — shut up!”

 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, as Shen Yuan laid in her bed, bundled up under the blankets, she listened to Qiu Hun hum in displeasure in her hold (the sound that could only reach her ears and sink deep into her mind). She clutched the closed fan close to her chest, as it whined like an injured animal. It cried and cried. And cried, and cried, and cried. Hungry. Always hungry. Reminding her of the times when she would lick salty rocks and fantasize that they were pork-filled buns. Small part of her was proud. Qiu Hun was holding out for so long. Wu Yanzi’s blood must have been delicious.

 

Qiu Hun kept yearning for blood.

Blood that Shen Yuan couldn’t give.

Or could she?

 

‘This weapon will crave blood and slaughter, and should you fail to provide? It will feast on you instead.’

 

With her mind made up, Shen Yuan as quietly as she could sneaked out of bed, pulled on her outer robe, and headed outside. The seniors often patrolled the grounds, to make sure that none of their shimeis and shidis were sneaking out, but Shen Yuan quickly memorized their pattern of movement and dashed from shadow to shadow until she found herself hiding in the woodshed. She knew that nobody in their sane mind would come here, especially after one of the disciples had spread an over-exaggerated ghost story that the shed was haunted by a disciple who had hung themselves in the past. Shen Yuan snorted under her breath. How could a ghost be here with such barriers in place? With so many talismans around? With such thick spiritual energy in the air? Fear truly made people foolish.

“Qiu Hun..” Shen Yuan whispered, as she traced the sharp edge of the closed fan. It hummed in reply, “Eat.” She simply said, as she dragged the blade across her skin; right near where her vein was. The pain was sharp and instant, but she was quickly distracted by the sight of her blood being sucked up dry by Qiu Hun like there was no cut to begin with, “More?” She asked, and the weapon grumbled, “Okay, okay.”

And so, she sat in silence, as she made one cut after another. The pain was pulsing in the beginning, but as the time went by, the ache had dulled, and her arm was beginning to go numb. The tips of her fingers tingled, and she felt herself go dizzy. Qiu Hun was still hungry, so she pushed and pushed. Lazily, she fished out a candy from her robes and plopped it into her mouth, completely ignoring that somehow what was supposed to be milk-flavored sweet had a bitter iron aftertaste.

“I wonder if one day you’ll suck me out dry, just like you did with Shizun.” Shen Yuan mumbled to herself, as she made another cut — deeper. She was almost running out of space, going all the way up to her elbow. The sleeves of her robes have become a mess, but the thought did not bother her much. Blood was easy to wash off. All you needed was a good scrub and ice-cold water, “Hungry thing. Gluttonous.” She commented, as Qiu Hun drank and drank and drank. Like a parasite.

For a moment, she reflected on what she was doing. This.. Couldn’t be normal. Anyone else would be withering with discomfort or would at least have looked away, and yet, she found her eyes glued to the raw lines and dried-up patches of blood. There was a distant buzz at the back of her head, almost like near-euphoric satisfaction. Yes, it hurt. But for some sick reason, it also felt good. But not physically.. Mentally. This was the price she had to pay for power she held. This was the punishment she deserved for the lives she took. Blood for blood. Pain for pain. Slice for slice.

Soon, Shen Yuan knew that enough was enough. The sun was about to rise, and Qiu Hun seemed more content with its thirst satiated.

And so she stood up on her shaky legs — her vision darkened for a moment — and headed towards the river to wash off any remaining evidence. Thankfully, her sleeves were long and she never bathed in the public baths, preferring to either dip in the river or wipe her body down with a wet cloth. Nobody would know. This could be a little secret, between her and Qiu Hun.

Why did she feel so dirty?

 

 

 

 

 

“A-Yuan. What is that?”

Shen Yuan startled from where she crouched. Honestly! What was up with the Jiangs being able to sneak around so well!

“It is a jar.”

Shen Yuan looked down at the jar in her hand, and then back at the girl who was making ‘the face’. The face that simply screamed, ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

“I can see that it is a jar. But what’s inside?”

“Black-Legged Bicolors.”

Jiang Yulian blinked at her. Shen Yuan blinked back. The frogs were also probably blinking while having no idea that their potential life was about to be debated about.

“Hm.” Jiang Yulian gave her shimei a blank look, “I am pretty sure that they’re poisonous.”

“They are.” Shen Yuan stated back.

“Uh-huh.” Wow. Her shijie looked far from impressed. “So. Why are they here. In our room. In a jar. An entire..” She narrowed her eyes. The frogs were not helping their case, as they began to jump all over the jar from top to bottom. Their sticky fingers made loud popping noises, almost move the jar together with them. Shen Yuan pretended like she couldn’t see what was going on. “..Generous..Population.”

“I..” Shen Yuan activated her puppy eyes. She hadn’t used those since the times she would beg for food on the streets. “I gathered them a while ago. They’ve been with me for years.” Should she make her lip wobble? Should she cry? Jiang Yulian’s heart was too weak — Shen Yuan knew she’d crack.

“For years? Weren’t you a rogue? Where did you keep them?”

“In my sleeves.”

“Huh.” Jiang Yulian’s eye twitched, but her expression stayed monotone, “So, you kept deadly Black-Legged Bicolors in a tiny glass jar in your sleeves for years. Right next to your skin. While fighting, cultivating, and sleeping. And now, you decided that they’d look good on a shelf in a room where we all sleep.”

“Now that you mention it..” Shen Yuan kind of forgot that she was probably supposed to ask everyone’s permission first, but she thought that since she was living here for the time being, she might as well give her frogs a window view of the world, “But look, they’re only deadly if their poison gets in contact with an open wound.”

“A-Yuaaaaan.” Jiang Yulian finally broke the stoic character, “Why can’t you own a fluffy pet or something? Why does it have to be a jar of deadly frogs?”

“Fluffy pets? Too much work.”

“Is there anything else I should worry about?!”

“I used to also have a Marble-Stone-Scolopendrid, but I think I lost it.. Haven’t seen it in a week now. I didn’t officially keep it, it just stuck around in my robes.” Shen Yuan scratched the back of her head. She was actually a bit sad that her little friend wobbled away somewhere, but hopefully it was safe! The world out there was so dangerous!

“Isn’t that a hand sized poisonous centipede?! It lived in your robes?! What?! Okay, whatever, never mind that part. But you’re saying you lost it?!”

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

“A-Yuan!!!”

Nobody slept peacefully that night (safe for Shen Yuan). 

What they didn’t know was that the Marble-Stone-Scolopendrid was long eaten by the Night-Hound Spider whom Shen Yuan killed a while back. 

 

 

 

 

 

The first time Shen Yuan met Liu Yanzhao, she had thought that the boy was out for her blood. She hadn’t known about the “tradition” of Bai Zhan Peak to raid Qing Jing Peak every few weeks, so she startled. Bad.

 

She had been doing her chores, not bothering anyone. It was a fairly good day. The sun was bright, but the breeze kept the temperature cool. Soon, it would be winter, but it was hard to tell. Even in the middle of autumn, Qing Jing Peak remained forest-green no matter where one looked. The bamboo, long-grass, and lotus ponds covered the scholars’ home from every side and angle; helping to ease one’s mind even at the edge of disarray. Shen Yuan had recently received guidance from Jiang Tianhe on how to meditate and circulate energy in repeated motion of her abdomen. She was still skeptical at the idea of a core formation, but the theory was sound, and both Lu Tianrui and Jiang Tianhe seemed certain that it could work. On principle. So, she played along, as it did no harm. Qiu Hun’s hunger had also seemed more settled after each meditative session.

Just as Shen Yuan had left the kitchens after having done dishes from lunch — she felt a focused gaze on her. In an instant, goosebumps crawled up her back, and she heard a whooshing sound coming right at her. She didn’t even think; she had simply allowed her body to move as it pleased. In the next second, in her hold was tightly grasped a wooden training sword, and before her eyes stood a boy of the same age as her. His hair was pulled up in a long ponytail, he had thick lashes, and a slim face. What stood out most, was the beauty mark below his eye and his dazzling sky-blue irises that sparkled brighter than polished diamonds.

“You caught it.” The youth spoke; shocked.

“I did.” She confirmed, and without hesitation pulled the wooden sword out of his death grip. The boy blinked once, twice, as he tried to process what had just happened.

A random Qing Jing disciple who he had never seen before — who was facing away from him nonetheless — had just now easily disarmed him without a single spark of spiritual energy.

Liu Yanzhao was a simple and straightforward person, so without any unnecessary pondering he straightened up his chest and rolled back his shoulders. His gaze was filled with determination.

“Fight me.” He didn’t ask, he didn’t question. No, he demanded. He wasn’t about to take—

“No.”

—as an answer..

Liu Yanzhao furrowed his brows, and charged forwards anyway with a closed fist. Shen Yuan gaped at the boldness and so-called ‘hospitality’, and jumped out of the attack’s reach. Although she now held the boy’s sword, she had never practiced with one. The wood-blade was much longer than that of a closed-fan , and the surface was too thin for her to wield with a practiced hand, so she quickly tossed it to the side, like a hunter that was baiting its prey with a treat.

The boy was not the sharpest tool in the box, and quickly turned around to reclaim his weapon. Shen Yuan took this as her chance to escape by flinging herself upwards onto one of the roofs. When Liu Yanzhao had looked up from where he was crouched, the girl was already gone. She practically vanished into nothingness! He desperately looked around and tried to trace any lingering qi, but the air remained clear.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing to my sister?! You fucking brute! You want a fist fight?! I’ll give you one!” 

 

The first time Liu Yanzhao met Shen Jiu, he knew that the latter was out for his blood. In the end, he got the fight he was looking for, just not with the right opponent.

Notes:

For anyone who found conversation between Lu Tianrui and Shen Yuan confusing, to elaborate, he wants her to try forming a “Golden Core” and extracts resentful energy from it rather than from her heart demons! Because he & Jiang Tianhe want to treat them! Also, they want to change her seal. Her current one, hides her cultivation and appearance, the new one, will make demonic energy appear as spiritual and also hide her appearance. It needs to be applied every 3 months!

Feel free to ask questions if anything is still confusing, but honestly don’t pay too much attention to detail because this is all just fiction and is just my way of playing around with possibilities!

Anyways, thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, it would mean the world to me if you left a kudo or a comment! Thank you & have an amazing day! 💗

Also for those who have been reading from chapter one — the tags have updated! Please make sure to check them out! And yes, Liu Yanzhao is Liu Qingge, and this is a Shen Yuan/Liu Qingge fic! <3

Chapter 7: Feed the pigs

Summary:

“Why are you helping me? What’s it to you?” Chang-furen snapped at her from out the blue, but Wu Yuan did not flinch at the tone. She was not the one who was scared.

“Chang-furen said that the pigs are hungry.” Wu Yuan answered, her tone cold.

“We should feed them.”

Notes:

Hi, guys! Heavy trigger warnings in this chapter. If you want to skip the worst of it, do not read Shen Yuan’s nightmare which is fully in italics in the beginning of the chapter. I’ll leave the summary of it in the end notes.

Also, I know that in the previous chapter I said that I’ll give the list of all head disciples but then I realized that the list will have spoilers.. So I’ll wait until we gradually meet everyone and then will post it a few chapters later.

TW/CW for the following chapter: nightmares, mentions of blood and gore, domestic violence, sexist violence, mentions of underage SA under the influence of drugs (not descriptive), torture, panic attacks, suicidal/depressive thoughts, mentions of psychosis (visual/auditory hallucinations), grief/mourning, mentions of bullying, vomiting

“My disciple is so grumpy this early in the morning.”

Wu Yuan didn’t spare Wu Yanzi with a reply. Instead, she turned around and continued to chop the onion in her palms, not caring about the blade occasionally scraping against her skin. The metal pot was heated by the fire, the pig’s fat was already sizzling with bubbles as the edges were starting to burn.

“What are you making today?” He tried again, as he propped up his head against his hand, watching her with fake disinterest.

She sighed, knowing that the man wouldn’t leave her alone until she would fess up, “I kneaded the dough earlier. We’ll have some noodles. Yesterday when we passed through the Clouded Forest I gathered fox-mushrooms. And the pig’s meat is still fresh enough to eat.”

“Where did you get the pig, huh?” Wu Yanzi lifted a brow, as he eyed the butchered corpse not far from them. It had initially gathered a generous amount of flies, so when Wu Yuan wasn’t looking, the man had slapped two talismans on the pig’s head. One for preservation, and the other for repelling the buzzing flying crowd. Later on, the girl had put on gloves and cut up the pig into sewered parts — ribs, shoulders, legs.. And had gathered the fat from its belly with her fingers to use as a substitute for oil.

“I stole it.” Wu Yuan knew that Wu Yanzi would never scold her for something so mundane. He wasn’t that kind of Shizun.

“Oh? Was it from Lord Chang?” Wu Yanzi’s smirk grew larger.

A day before, they had visited a rich bastard who had asked Wu Yanzi to curse his wife, as she had cheated on him with another man. The part which pissed off Wu Yuan the most was that the man had the balls to ask for that as he held a sixteen year old concubine on his lap. Disgusting! She hated Shizun even more for agreeing to the request. The woman — Chang-furen — will for years suffer from terrible luck and misfortune. Potentially, lethal sickness and slow death.

“Yes.” Wu Yuan shrugged, as she began to stir the onions and chunks of pork.

Wu Yanzi chuckled, “He said that we can ask for any reward. Why didn’t you ask for the pig?” He asked.

Wu Yuan scoffed, “I didn’t want him to give it to me. I wanted to steal it from him.”

The man hummed, watching as his disciple’s mood soured, “Then, why didn’t you take something more valuable? He won’t cry over a pig, but he would have mourned after his favored concubine.. Or those endless pouches of gold. Why would he care for a single pig?”

Wu Yuan hadn’t given him the answer. Instead, she focused on thoroughly cooking the meat, and then threw in the noodles. They didn’t have any seasonings on hand, so the meal lacked pretty much.. everything. There was no sauce, no salt, no pepper. It was fatty, bland, and the noodles were drastically undercooked. However, neither complained. Wu Yanzi ate without reprimand, even going for seconds. Which wouldn’t have been the case a couple years back. Tonight, he seemed oddly.. Content. Even with a shitty meal to settle the growls in their stomachs. Wu Yuan settled after a small bowl, and then chewed on some hand-picked berries.

Suddenly, the scene blurred away, and Wu Yuan found herself walking through the hallway of a lavish house. All of Shizun’s friends tended to be ridiculously rich, which made her often bitter at the state of life they led. If only Shizun had cared enough to settle down in one place, they could actually have a proper — permanent — roof over their heads. But then again, the more she tried to imagine what her Shizun’s house would have looked like if he had one — the more her imagination failed her. When she thought of Wu Yanzi — she thought of endless horizons and unrestricted freedom. He was a person who couldn’t be chained down by anything. The walls and roof would constrict his spirit and wither him away. To think he used to be part of a sect.. He even had a family at some point. Of course none of that could last. Her Shizun could never.

“Introduce yourself.” Wu Yanzi’s tone pulled her out of her thoughts, and she blinked up. Ah, this man.

Zhou Zhicheng. A man who used to be a commoner, but managed to reunite with his rich uncle at the age of seventeen. Said uncle had passed away and left all the riches to his nephew. Zhou Zhicheng was not a cultivator, but he had connections with demonic arts through his wife, who was also known as an Ageless Witch. Even at the age of fifty-something, she didn’t look a day over twenty. As a cultivator, Zhou-furen had acquired a Golden Core long ago, thus able to preserve her aging. Her nickname was only that, a nickname. There was nothing much impressive in her skills, and Shen Yuan was ready to bet gold that meddling with demonic energy had probably corrupted her core, and one day, shall misbalance occur between her spiritual and demonic qi, she would wither like a dry flower and fall off a branch; to be stepped on by a careless shoe.

“This one is disciple of Wu Yanzi. Wu Yuan.” She bowed, and the man awed at her.

“So, you’re that demonic prodigy I’ve been hearing all about!”

After her recently successful battle with other demonic disciples, she had gained a small spark of fame. Not that Wu Yuan essentially cared. She had quickly become a name that many feared. It was dirtied. Drenched in foul — but impressive — reputation.

“No wonder that your Shizun is Wu Yanzi. He’s a well-accomplished Master, so of course his disciple wouldn’t be any less.” Zhou Zhicheng always spouted a lot of praise. Because deep down, he feared Wu Yanzi more than anything. He might have known many demonic cultivators — had also married one — but Wu Yanzi had unsettled him. (Not enough. Not enough to have stopped him from doing what he did). 

“Thanking Zhou Zhicheng for his kindness.” Wu Yuan said in a monotone voice, as the man led them through to invite them in for a meal.

Him and Shizun spoke for a long time. Wu Yuan quickly lost interest, as she peered outside the window. The man had kids — a boy and a girl — who were busy playing outside with a kite. The weather was windy, and it perfectly soared the red-and-white kite high up into the skies to topple high up between the clouds. Wu Yuan watched, her eyes dull.

And suddenly, a thought had snapped back at her. She felt her body grow heavier.

Those children seemed to be older than her.

And yet, here she was. The demonic prodigy, when all she wanted to do was play with the kites.

Wu Yuan blinked, and found herself standing in a guest bedroom. Ah, right. After they had a meal, Wu Yuan had a bath, and then retired for the day. Her and Wu Yanzi have been on the road for many weeks, and haven’t been able to stay at inns, so when they passed near Zhou Zhicheng’s property, Wu Yanzi had told her that he’ll pay his friend some coin to let them rest in the guest rooms for a few nights.

“Wu Yuan, you’re still awake?” She turned her head, and the man was standing by her door, peering open. Inappropriate. Her mind was reeling in alarm, but her expression betrayed nothing. Something was off about him. His body seemed much taller than before, limbs longer, his fingers shaped like claws. However, her hazy mind did not seem to question the sight. She was only unsettled by it.

“This one apologizes. This one will blow out the candles soon.”

“Ah, no need, no need.” The man without asking had dared to come in. Next time Shen Yuan blinked, the two of them were already seated by the table with two cups of tea poured. Zhou Zhicheng seemed to be in the middle of a story, but Wu Yuan’s attention had drifted off once more. The tea was sweet. Too sweet. She could taste the brown sugar melting on her tongue, as it uncomfortably stuck on her teeth. Jiu-ge liked sweet things. She always preferred salt and spice.

“Something wrong, Wu Yuan?” Zhou Zhicheng asked, and Wu Yuan found herself stirring, as if rousing from a drugged daze.

“Why is the tea so sweet?” She found herself asking.

The temperature in the room seemed to drop.

She blinked, and the man was gone. Another blink, and he was right beside her, with one of his hands settled around her shoulders, and the other.. Touching her robes? She wasn’t sure. Everything was fuzzy. Everything was spinning. Nothing seemed to be making any sense. Wu Yanzi had also sometimes touched her robes. Whenever she would get too much blood on her outer layer, he would peel it off and throw it into a pouch, to have it washed later. However, Zhou Zhicheng’s hands felt different. They seemed too curious. Prying where they weren’t welcome. Wu Yanzi’s touch was never like this.

 

The tea was very sweet.

 

Too sweet.

 

“Shh.. It’s okay, it’s okay.” The man had whispered closely into her ear, and she shuddered at the feel of his hot breath against her skin.

With a gasp, she tried to move, but her body like one of a wooden doll slumped back with a thud. Zhou Zhicheng hadn’t expected that, and clicked his tongue in irritation. His cowardly-sweet facade was up, and the pig who had hidden beneath the layers had revealed himself.

The time was passing too slow and too fast. Wu Yuan tried to keep count of the seconds, but each time she would reach ‘five’, she would lose the train of thought, and have to start all over again. Her mind trailed back to the sixteen year old concubine on Master Chang’s lap. She hadn’t noticed it back then, but wasn’t the girl trembling like a leaf? And then, she recalled sneaking off in the middle of the night back towards the Chang Manor after they had cursed the wife. Something was unsettled in her heart, and so she had gone back to take a second look. 

What she had seen terrified her to the bone. She had known human cruelty, but she hadn’t realized the reach that it could take. As she passed by the animal shed where Master Chang kept his pigs; she noticed that among them was a woman, tied to a wooden pole. She seemed to be in her early thirties, her robes shredded around her sleeves, her face deformed from endless patches of bruises. Fist punches. Broken nose. Busted lip. Cracked teeth. Swollen eyes.

“Little girl.” The woman’s voice seemed harsh, and raspy. Wu Yuan shuddered at the sound, “You shouldn’t be here. If he’ll find you, he’ll feed you to the pigs.”

“Chang-furen?” Wu Yuan asked, and the woman snorted.

“Chang-furen, she says. Little girl, do you not see that I am nothing but cattle to that man? I am no wife to him.” Slowly, both of them trailed their gaze to the pigs kept behind the thin fence, “Soon, they’ll grow hungry, and will eat me too..” Chang-furen had whispered, but there wasn’t any fear. More like resignation.

Wu Yuan wondered whether the woman’s fate ended up being so cruel due to Wu Yanzi’s curse. They weren’t supposed to go this far.

“Little girl, the pigs are hungry. You should go. Run, before he finds you. You have a pretty, young face. He always liked faces like that. Maybe it’ll spare you from the pigs, but it won’t spare you from his hands. Long ago, I was also young. But once I became too old for him — I stopped being worthy in his eyes.”

Wu Yuan didn’t run. Instead, she quietly sat down next to the woman, and cut the ropes with Qiu Hun. Chang-furen stared at her like she had grown a second head, but Wu Yuan did not mind her. Instead, she busied herself with tending to the woman’s wounds and bandaging up her feet. There was not much that could be done to help her face. She was also already missing a couple of fingers and toes. Her back was covered from shoulder-blades to hips with callous whipping marks. Wu Yuan didn’t even bat an eye, as she cut chunk after chunk of infected flesh, and stitched up the gaping lashes with one of the needles from her sleeve. She couldn’t channel qi through them, but she always had a steady hand.

Maybe in another life, she could save lives, not take them.

“Why are you helping me? What’s it to you?” Chang-furen snapped at her from out the blue, but Wu Yuan did not flinch at the tone. She was not the one who was scared.

“Chang-furen said that the pigs are hungry.” Wu Yuan answered, her tone cold.

“We should feed them.”

Something like akin to understanding and shock flashed through Chang-furen’s sunken eyes, “Little girl. Who are you?”

“This one is Wu Yuan.” She answered plainly, and then helped the woman get back on her feet. Chang-furen was shaking, tormented by the pain all across her body, but she was a strong woman, “Is it true that you were unfaithful to your husband?”

Chang-furen blinked, and then smirked, “Yes. I laid with another. A man who truly loves me.”

“Will he still love you, even if you’re as hideous as you are right now?” To anyone else, the question would have been heartbreaking. But Chang-furen nodded — not a single shade of doubt in her eyes.

“He will.”

“Then you should go to him once all of this is over.” Wu Yuan suggested, and Chang-furen hummed in agreement.

Wu Yuan blinked, and suddenly, she was back in Zhou Zhicheng’s arms, as the man held her paralyzed body while stripping her bare. His body kept rocking into her like one of a mindless beast. One layer fell off after another, and Wu Yuan tried to think of anything else, but the nightmare which unfolded before her. She thought of Master Chang’s screams, as she watched Chang-furen throw her husband’s body to the pigs. The two women stood by and stared, while the leech begged and cried for salvation. He promised all his pouches of gold, he said that they could kill his concubines instead, he swore to the Heavens and Hell that he would change, and to be given another chance.

That was the moment Wu Yuan had realized something crucial. Wu Yanzi didn’t curse Chang-furen. He cursed Master Chang instead.

He cursed Wu Yuan the day he named himself her Shizun.

In the end, the pouches of gold and young women did not matter. All Master Chang had cared for was a pig who sunk its teeth through his skin, and tore off the flesh from his face. The pigs crunched down on his bones like twigs, and stepped with their hooves over his body like mud. The yellow fat spilled, and muscles stretched and spasmed with aftershocks, even outside Master Chang’s body. His legs began to convulse, and Wu Yuan apathetically listened as his screams have slowly died down with time. Pigs did not seem to be in a rush. They ate slowly, and filled their bellies with the meat of their master.

Chang-furen said that she didn’t have anything to thank Wu Yuan with, so, she had given the little girl one pig.

“Don’t.. Touch.. Me..” Wu Yuan whispered, but Zhou Zhicheng’s movements didn’t stop. A harsh rock of his hips had hit her head against the wall, causing the world to spin. At one point, he had lifted her off the floor, and took her to the bed instead. Laid her down, and peered with a glare of a hungry wolf. And then.. And then..

“Stop talking.” Zhou Zhicheng commanded, as he pressed his palm over her mouth and nose.

Just then, as Wu Yuan was about to lose consciousness from the lack of air, a piercing, splashing noise was heard from above. Zhou Zhicheng was trembling on the floor, meanwhile, Wu Yanzi reached forward to scoop up Wu Yuan into his arms. On instinct, she clung back to her Shizun, knowing that no matter his cruelty, this was something he would protect her from. Carefully, Wu Yanzi dressed her back up, and reached into his pouch to take out a Blue-Poppy leaf. Her Shizun pressed the bitter leaf to her nose, and the moment she got a generous whiff in, clarity rushed back into her and she gasped.

“Wu Yuan. You should slaughter him with Qiu Hun. Make it hurt. Pluck out his eyes for looking at you with lust. Cut off his hands for daring to touch you where he wasn’t welcome. Feed him his own cock, so that he knows what’s it like to suffocate around his throat with humiliation befitting the scum. Castrate the dog bastard.” Wu Yanzi said, after he had taken a step back. She wasn’t sure when Shizun had done that, but Zhou Zhicheng was tied up; shaking in the corner. His eyes swelled with tears.

“But..”

“He hurt you.” Wu Yanzi sat down on a chair with his arms crossed.

“Shizun hurts me too.” Wu Yuan pointed out, at which her Shizun sighed.

“Never like this. I will never touch you like this. I will beat you, I will discipline you, I will be unkind to you but I will never dare to dishonor you. Never.” She knew that. Wu Yanzi had always protected her from the wandering eyes of others. He would either push her behind himself or leave her behind as he’d attend parties filled with perverted men and women. When he had bought her robes, he always made sure she wore no less than five layers, thick material, going all the way up to her neck.

“This is no different from draining rabbit’s blood, cutting off pig’s legs or skinning chickens.”

“Shizun..”

“A man to dishonor you is cattle. A man to challenge you is cattle. A man to stand in your way is cattle.” Shizun’s brows furrowed, “Humans are cattle. Some weaker, some stronger. Wu Yuan, don’t pretend to be a sheep. I know very well that you’re a wolf.”

Wu Yuan looked down at Zhou Zhicheng. Then, she looked back up at Wu Yanzi.

“But Shizun.. My hands.. My hands will get dirty.”

“What are you saying, Wu Yuan?“

Wu Yanzi’s stance shifted. He stood up, and Wu Yuan had never felt as small. She might be a wolf, but Wu Yanzi was a beast.

“They were never clean to begin with.”

The ground below her feet long ago was grass. A path. So, when had it turned into a mountain of corpses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shen Yuan startled from her sleep with eyes wide open.

No matter how many mouthfuls of air she took, none of them would reach her lungs. Out of desperation, she lifted up her hands to desperately scratch at her throat. There didn’t seem to be a blockage, but the room was simply.. Closing in. She was trapped. The four walls, closed windows, no freedom. The swing of an axe, a threat of someone chopping her legs off. Her life was not her own. She couldn’t decide whether she would live or die. No matter how high she’d climb, she would always be the same starved, abandoned child. The same street rat. Xiao Shi. Wu Yuan. Who had told her this? Was it really the same man who also called her his perfect girl? The daughter he never had, he said. Did he hate her? Did he care for her? Did she hate him? What did she even feel? Why was it so hard to accept him gone? Why was her mind haunting her so, torturing her over and over again.

“A-Yuan! A-Yuan!” She felt someone shuffle next to her in bed. Before she could even see Jiang Yulian’s face, she had instantly recognized the girl’s scent, and paused. Any second later, and she would have attacked. “A-Yuan, it was just a bad dream. Breathe, shimei, breathe.” Jiang Yulian did not even hesitate to scoop Shen Yuan into her arms. She shifted, so that the younger girl was between her legs with the back of her head resting against her chest, cradled her like a babe in the arms of a caring mother, “It’s all okay. Everything is okay.”

“Shizun.. Shizun..” Shen Yuan whispered, and Jiang Yulian leaned in closer to hear.

“What about him, A-Yuan?” The girl asked carefully.

“Shizun is dead..” Shen Yuan’s eyes were red; threatening to spill tears, but none fell. Jiang Yulian’s expression shifted into a vivid concern, but she didn’t let Shen Yuan see. Instead, she gently patted her shimei’s head, as if she was soothing a distressed kitten.

“Shizun is not dead. Shizun is sleeping in the Bamboo House. Like always.” Jiang Yulian assured, but felt her heart clench at the shake of Shen Yuan’s head.

“No, not your Shizun.” Shen Yuan’s voice broke, “My Shizun. My Shizun is dead.”

Jiang Yulian opened her mouth, but then she seemed to have remembered what Shen Yuan had told her a few days ago in class. That before, she had another Shizun. Jiang Yulian was a curious soul, but she was well-mannered, and always knew not to pry unless unnecessary. Still, she couldn’t just leave the room hanging in silence. She eyed the other two girls who were present, and shooed them away without Shen Yuan noticing. Now, it was just the two of them below the gaze of moonlight.

“A-Yuan. I’m sorry for your loss.” She whispered, “It must hurt a lot.“

“It does.” Shen Yuan nodded.

Jiang Yulian did not know about the pulsing hunger of Qiu Hun. She did not know about the lurking shadows in the dark. She did not know about the voices of the ghosts. She did not know about the vivid nightmares.

“I’ll never be clean..” Shen Yuan said, without meaning to, “My hands will never be clean..”

Jiang Yulian was too young, too sheltered to understand. She had grown up in the life of comfort and luxury. There wasn’t a day she was ever hungry, cold or scared for her life. And yet, she tried her best to be the soft cushion for Shen Yuan to lean against. That was the least she could do.

“What are you saying, A-Yuan?” Jiang Yulian cupped Shen Yuan’s hands in her own, and slowly unclenched the tight fists, to reveal the sweaty palms underneath, “Look how clean they are. And if you don’t think so, then we’ll scrub them with soy soap until you feel it too. We’ll soak them in rice water for hours. We.. We’ll add haitang oils. We’ll wash between the fingers, under the nails, all throughout.”

But Jiang Yulian did not see.

She did not see the endless battles these hands have endured. She did not see how much food and money they stole. How many lives they took. How much pain they’ve caused. She did not see how the blood beneath the skin was covered in filth and grime. Those weren’t hands of a respectable cultivator. They were the hands of a murderer. They always will be. That’ll never change.

Jiang Yulian noticed that Shen Yuan was not saying anything, so she cupped her shimei’s hands in a tighter hold. She did not know what was going through Shen Yuan’s head, but for some reason, she felt so sad. Without meaning to, her eyes had already welled up with tears.

“A-Yuan is clean. A-Yuan is a very clean girl. She’s so good. She knows so much about animals and plants. She’s so good with the laundry and she makes the best meals this shijie has ever had.” Jiang Yulian tried to suppress a sob, but her body shook with it, “A-Yuan is a very good girl. A-Yuan is so good.” Shen Yuan still wasn’t talking. She wasn’t crying either. She just sat there, her eyes staring into nothingness, and Jiang Yulian felt a chill go through her. She’s never dealt with anything like this before, so she didn’t know if she was doing or saying the right things. If only Lu-shishu was here to guide her in what to do next. 

“A-Yuan, do you believe me? You know that your shijie would never lie to you.” She tried to coax Shen Yuan once more, “A-Yuan, please say something. Please, tell me that you believe me.” 

Jiang Yulian held her breath.

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

Shen Yuan felt Jiang Yulian’s hands squeeze around her. Nothing else was said that night. And although the next day Jiang Yulian spent in a gloom, Shen Yuan was completely back to normal as if nothing had happened to begin with.

 

 

 

 

 

“Disciple Shen.” Jiang Tianhe looked up from the paperwork he had been busy with.

A while ago, he had sent a message to Shen Yuan to come and see him at the soonest opportunity. He hadn’t expected the girl to take so long to show up, but he didn’t fuss.

“Disciple Shen Yuan greets Shizun.” The girl bowed with a perfect posture, and once invited in, she took a seat down.

Jiang Tianhe watched Shen Yuan as she brewed the tea, and tried to suppress a tsk of his tongue at the bitterly taste. No skill at all. The liquid was over-concentrated and the blend was far too strong. Almost medicinal. He had assumed that someone of Shen Yuan’s age would be hooked on sweets and would make a sour face at the flavor, but the girl drank her cup of tea without a single complaint. Perhaps, she just had a very thick face and was good at hiding away truths. Although, A-Lian did complain that her precious Shen-shimei turned green whenever offered a pastry.

“How have you been?” Jing Tianhe finally decided to break the silence. Shen Yuan slowly lifted her gaze.

When he had first met the child, he had instantly sensed that there was something off about her eyes. They pierced deep into people’s souls, but at the same time, they dulled at the edges.

Shen Yuan gave off an unsettling presence like she both knew nothing and too much. Being around her initially set Jiang Tianhe on edge, however, a quick chat with Lu-shidi made him realize that such was a natural reaction of his spiritual energy contrasting against her demonic one. She might have a seal stapled on her cultivation, but his body — seasoned with skill, battle and perception — was subconsciously telling him that the girl was a threat.

However, he didn’t let his subconscious instincts cloud his sober judgement. Spiritual repelled demonic, demonic lashed out against spiritual. Thus, demonic cultivators had such intense mood swings and qi deviations. But, for all he knew, before him sat a little girl with a hard past. A victim of demonic experimentation, a disciple who had lost her previous Shizun, a child who grew up in violence.

He was sheltered, but not blind. He grew up never going hungry, but he knew the fate of hungry children.

One such child was before him today.

Entrusted in his care.

“This one has been faring well.” Shen Yuan spoke. Her tone even, not betraying anything on her mind, “Although this disciple is still behind on some of the subjects, but she will be sure to catch up with the others in time.”

Jiang Tianhe already knew that. Some teachers and Hall Masters have even come to him berating him for accepting someone like ‘ that Shen Yuan girl ’. A girl with a wobbly handwriting, a girl who doesn’t know basic history, a girl who struggles with maths that goes above basic addition and subtraction. A girl who seems to have, ‘ strange air around her ’, a girl who ‘ sets everyone on edge ’, a girl who ‘ has no talent for cultivation ’. A girl who is disliked by her peers, a girl who disrupts class multiple times a day, a girl who just doesn’t seem to be able to fit in.

But then, he’s heard good things too. That no matter how many instruments she broke, she never stopped trying over and over again to play a tune even as her fingers bled. That although her handwriting was wobbly, it was because her hands shook too much from nervousness and desire to earn earnest praise. That although she did not know much about the sects, history or geography, she was well-read in flora and fauna, able to describe many beasts and plants in great detail (even providing information that wasn’t generally known in the textbooks).

 

She deserved a chance.

 

“That’s good to hear.” Jiang Tianhe did not betray the amount of knowledge he held on the subject. Just like Shen Yuan, he knew well how to straighten his face.

Unfortunately, he had to bring up the topics he knew the girl wouldn’t want to discuss.

“Tell me, how have you been sleeping as of recent?”

The mood quickly changed.

He did not see the tension in her shoulders, but he did notice Shen Yuan clutch her fists hard enough for the nails to draw blood. And yet, her face, remained still. Eyes were the windows to one’s soul, but she was giving away nothing. There were walls after walls put up where her heart lay, and Jiang Tianhe was not naive as to believe that he’ll ever manage to bring them down.

 

The fate of starving children.

 

Was to not trust others.

 

“You’re not in trouble, but one of the girls who shares a room with you had sent a request to be re-housed. And then right after, Disciple Jiang asked for the two of you to move rooms as well, so that it is just you and her, and no one else. This master wondered whether there was a reason for this sudden ruckus.”

Shen Yuan seemed to have brightened up at the mentions of his daughter — Jiang Yulian — and Jiang Tianhe couldn’t help but feel proud. He had made a right decision to introduce them, then. He knew that if there was someone who would ignore the eerie feeling around Shen Yuan, it would be Jiang Yulian, whose heart was as pure as gold. He had taught his daughter well. To not judge others without reason, to treat others how you wish to be treated, and to not hold any prejudice. Good. Very good.

“This one.. Sincerely apologizes.” Shen Yuan bowed.

“No need.” Jiang Tianhe lifted his palm to stop her, “However, this one awaits an explanation.”

“This one has been having nightmares.. I am not yet purged of the heart demons, and they’ve been.. Challenging to manage.” Shen Yuan seemed like she would rather skin herself alive than keep talking, so Jiang Tianhe decided not to push her more about the matter.

“This master understands.” He hummed, “Have you seen Peak Lord Lu concerning this issue?”

“We have health check-ins every month, and seal reapplication every three months, but.. I haven’t had the time to mention this ailment to Lu-shishu.” No, little girl, do not take this master for a fool. You did not want to mention this issue, because you did not want to appear weak. You do not trust us, and you do not want us to perceive you as anything else but a silent threat.

Jiang Tianhe pulled his brows into a frown.

“There are many remedies to heart demons. Some are medicinal and others can be purged through cultivation. Considering that your spiritual veins are coursed with resentment, the latter can’t be applicable to you. Tell me, would you consider seeing a healer of mind?”

Of course she won’t. Still, he had to ask to keep the pretense that he’s a fool. The more she believed that, she more likely she would relax, slip up, and tell him more. At the same time, she was aware that he was Qing Jing Peak Lord. He was the strategist, he was the right-hand man of the Sect Leader. Perhaps, she knew. Perhaps, she did not. They were both playing a game, wondering what the other one was up to.

After all, not everyone finds two children – one a turned demon — and asks to keep them. It would have been far more normal to execute them on sight. 

“…This one must humbly decline, Shizun. None can know the nature of this one’s heart demons.”

There it was. The first slip.

“Hm.” Nature of your heart demons, you say? Intriguing. What are you hiding then? What are you ashamed of? What are you afraid of?

Switch the topic. Don’t let her grow cautious.

“Would you like to live with Disciple Jiang in a separate accommodation?”

“This one would be immensely grateful.”

“Then I shall grant Disciple Jiang her request.“

Shen Yuan seemed more than ready to bolt out of the room at the speed of lighting, but Jiang Tianhe made a quick pause by tossing the scroll with a mission right into her hands. Without hesitation, she caught it, not even a twitch to her fingers.

“There is another matter to discuss. Disciple Shen, usually disciples your age wouldn’t be sent out on missions outside of the Peak, however, this Master recognizes the difference in your background and your experience. You’ve had a Master before myself, and you’ve travelled the world as a rogue cultivator for many years, so I believe you’re more than capable of handling your first task as a Disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.”

“This one is deeply honored, Shizun.”

“You won’t be going alone. Head disciple of Bai Zhan Peak — Liu Yanzhao — will be coming along, as well as two more senior disciples to keep an eye on you two. Considering that Xie-shimei was greatly involved in harvesting materials for your medicines upon your arrival to the sect, this master now owes her a favor in exchange.”

The Peak Lord watched as the girl’s eyes narrowed. He wondered whether she already knew the names of the head disciples from each peak (or about the infamous Liu family), but having observed her from afar, he didn’t think that she would have bothered to learn names unless it personally mattered to her. Still, Bai Zhan Peak was known for having ruthless warriors, and when Jiang Tianhe was gone, he heard that they’ve arranged another raid on Qing Jing Peak and have attacked quite a few of his disciples.

Since no one ended up dead or in a coma, he had assumed that Shen Yuan wasn’t attacked by anyone. Still, that sudden sour look on her face.. 

“Disciples of Bai Zhan?” Shen Yuan asked, and Jiang Tianhe found hesitation amusing enough to let out a small chuckle.

“I’ve had a talk with their Shizun. They’ll be on their best behavior, but Xie-shimei requested a talented disciple with extensive knowledge on plants to come along.” He tried to reassure, but Shen Yuan did not seem like she believed him in the slightest. Perhaps strained relations was simply meant to be between Qing Jing and Bai Zhan, “Do you doubt your Shizun?”

Shen Yuan was about to sigh, but quickly covered it up. She was learning good manners fast, “Of course not, Shizun.” She bowed, and stood up, “This disciple shall go get ready.”

“Mhm-m.”

This would be certainly interesting.

 

 

 

 

 

The mission itself was very easy. They had to travel to the Glass-Caves in the north-east to the sect’s borders, go past the beasts living within, and gather local herbs. Shizun had also written down that Wan Jiang Peak would appreciate if they took their time to mine some crystals or collect crystal-butterflies that could be found growing at the bottom of the mirror-lake. They needed Shen Yuan to act as a guide and walking encyclopedia. Cool. Straightforward enough.

Well, not for everyone it seemed.

Shen Yuan was surprised how long the disciples of the sect took to prepare. She watched as they met up day after day, planning how much food they’ll take, what medicines they’ll pack, taught each and every one of them how to use danger signals, and so on. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but remember the days when Wu Yanzi would just get up on a Thursday morning and tell her to fuck off until she’d bring him back a decapitated head of a demonic moose because he wanted to try a new ritual technique which required its horns, and until she’d do that, she wouldn’t be given any food or allowed to stay near him. He would never tell her where or what. ‘Here is the task, the rest is your problem.’

Of course things changed after the interval between her suicide attempts became smaller and smaller, and Wu Yanzi stopped trusting her to be left alone, but he would never — ever — help unless the situation was dire. That was pretty much the attitude she was used to.

Not.. This.

It took them a week before they were finally ready to get a move on. Shen Yuan was very unimpressed. She was partially jealous of the Liu Yanzhao fellow, because the boy got to skip these meetings due to his duties as a Head Disciple. Meanwhile, being the youngest one, the senior Bai Zhan disciples fussed over her like two chicken hens.

“Let’s go.”

Shen Yuan turned her head at the familiar voice from behind her. She didn’t sense any attacking intent, but her body tensed up on guard. As she turned her head she locked eyes with the same boy as..

“It’s you.”

“Oh. You.”

The two of them said at the same time, and right after.. A very long, awkward pause followed. The senior disciples gave both of them a strange look, wondering when the two of them even managed to meet. Neither gave any answers.

“..Okay. Liu-shixiong, we should get a move on.” One of the seniors cleared their throat, and that was when Liu Yanzhao’s eyes finally tore away from her face as he gave his martial siblings a quick nod. Without question, he took out his sword and stepped right on it with grace of a seasoned martial artist. He was only what.. Fourteen, fifteen? And already had a spiritual weapon? Impressive. Also, seniors calling him ‘shixiong’? Was that because of his title as a Head Disciple? She was going to read up on it later.

Then, Shen Yuan watched as the other two seniors also took out their swords and stepped on the thin horizontal blades. And that was when a crucial detail clicked in place. Oh, Heavens. She completely forgot to mention this, didn’t she? The seniors were going to kill her in cold blood.

“Uhm, actually.” Shen Yuan awkwardly looked up at the Bai Zhan disciples who were already getting ready to float upwards. For a moment, she wondered whether balance came naturally to them — was there a gravitational pull on the swords? or were they really balancing so effortlessly like that? — ah, Shen Yuan! That wasn’t important right now!

“What is it, Shen-shimei?”

“I don’t have a sword.”

Three pairs of eyes bored into her. Everyone slowly processes what that information meant. And then—

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?!” Said one of them, “We had so many meetings, and you didn’t think to speak up?! Not even once?!” 

“And how are you going to fly?! No—! How are you going to fight?! What?! Why would Jiang-shibo send you with us when you’re so useless?!”

 

Okay, ouch . That was so unnecessary.

 

Also, they were the ones being sent with her and Liu Yanzhao. Not the other way around, but clearly, they had no idea, and there was no need to wound their pride. It definitely won’t help her case right now. 

“I do have a weapon. It’s just not a sword.” She rushed to explain, “Thus, the issue is not with my ability to fight, but with my ability to travel.”

Shen Yuan didn’t even offer the solution of someone else taking her up on the sword. She couldn’t tell why, but all disciples seemed.. Uncomfortable around her. As if they could sense that there was something off in the air whenever she was near. Even Bai Zhan disciples — although mostly remained polite — they still kept a respectable distance away from her. There was no way they’d offer to hold her close for hours throughout the trip. Maybe she could rent a horse—? Or go by foot—? Or tell Jiang Tianhe that she was unable to accompany others on the mission due to—

“Step on.”

Liu Yanzhao’s voice cut through her thoughts. He was much closer to her than before, his sword was lowered to the ground. Shen Yuan blinked; wondering if she had misheard.

“Pardon?”

“Step on.”

He repeated himself, and this time, Shen Yuan did not slow as she stepped atop the sword. Lack of spiritual energy and training made it hard to balance, and she had almost swung over to the opposite side, but Liu Yanzhao’s hands quickly grasped her shoulders to steady her.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm. I’ll hold you.”

“Okay.”

Without any more words, the two of them set off higher and higher into the air. She had never flown on a sword before. Wu Yanzi always said that cultivators that used swords looked ridiculous to him (deep down, she agreed with him), but now, having stood on one herself and being soared into the skies — she felt amazing! Her feet tingled with anxiety from the sudden change in height, and she was still dizzy and unused to the entire process, but Liu Yanzhao kept his pace steady and held her securely in place.

 

However..

 

Not even an hour later..

 

“Liu-shixiong.” Shen Yuan dreaded bringing this up, but her face was turning green, “Shixiong!” She had waited for as long as she could, tried to look into the distance, tried to pinch herself, shut her eyes, anything, but—!

“What?”

“If you don’t put me down right now then I’ll puke all over myself.”

That was all the warning Liu Yanzhao got, because not even a second later, Shen Yuan felt the puke crawl up her throat as she vomited all over both of their robes. Who could have known that a little girl that was able to block an attack from a martial arts prodigy would get motion sickness from something as basic as sword flying?!

“You’re disgusting!” Liu Yanzhao shouted, as he quickly lowered the two of them. Shen Yuan didn’t even have a chance to reply, as she fell down to her knees and continued to empty out her stomach on the grass, “To think that—! Why would Jiang-shibo send you with us?!”

 

Your Shizun personally asked for me! You prideful peacocks!

 

“I am.. So sorry.. Liu-shixiong..” She managed to say between the gasps, right before another wave of nausea hit. This time, it was pure stomach acid and her entire throat burned.

The seniors have finally noticed that the two of them fell behind, and upon seeing the scene could only groan in irritation, “Nie-shixiong, get her some water. Liu-shixiong, you should change your robes.” She heard one of them say, but paid them no mind as her insides threatened to turn inside-out.

“You all.. Should fly.. Ahead.. I’ll walk..”

Because, first of all, this was very embarrassing and Shen Yuan was contemplating that now wouldn’t be a bad time to kill herself. Second of all, there is no chance she’s getting on a sword ever again. Just imagining that made her stomach growl in displeasure.

“What are you talking about?” Said one of the seniors, as he extended a leather pouch with water towards her. She did not need to be told twice, as she grasped the pouch and drank from it like a dying man in a desert.

“You might be a nuisance, but we won’t leave you behind.” Liu Yanzhao said, and that made her eye twitch.

“Hey!”

If this fucker had said this to her a year ago she would have sliced him to ribbons! Bai Zhan’s Head Disciple, her ass! Wu Yanzi would have eyed him up and down, and would have given her an order to put him in his place (and she would have happily obeyed).

“Are you done puking already?” He cut her off before she could complain.

“What a dick.” She mumbled under her breath, but based on the flinch she got from Liu Yanzhao, he heard her perfectly clear.

“You two really are related.” Liu Yanzhao said back, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help a satisfied smirk from creeping up her face. She had no clue when Jiu-ge had the time to make introductions with this brutish young master, but he clearly did something right.

Eventually, the four disciples managed to gather their shit together and finally began to head towards their goal. Every now and then, Shen Yuan’s ears would catch an annoyed hiss about ‘ if not for her we would already be half-way there’ and ‘ can’t believe that Jiang-shibo would send with us someone like her ’ and ‘ she’s incompetent, only a child ’ or her personal favorite, ‘ why are we stuck babysitting this spoiled mistress?’ .

Right. Somewhere down the line, the Bai Zhan Peak disciples had come to a conclusion that Shen Yuan must be someone from a rich family. That she must have been spoiled rotten her entire life. Bai Zhan Peak was known only to accept disciples who came up by themselves to the Peak Lord Xie (this rule was somehow both famous and also completely unknown, she wasn’t sure how the information traveled). Meanwhile, Qing Jing Peak held the reputation of being the peak of rich kids who never took a punch and have never given one back.

Shen Yuan could only snort at the idea. She had taken more beatings than the lowest of slaves, and had enough ghosts following her shadows to call her being cursed. And in all aspects.. She was a demon. She wasn’t born demon, she was made into one, but it did not change the fact that.. Well.. She was a demon. She had ears of a demon, teeth of a demon, claws of a demon, and eyes of one. As for her soul.. Shen Yuan did not know anymore. Long ago, Shizun had asked her a question. ‘ Yuan, what do you think is the difference between demons and humans?’  And Wu Yanzi had later told her — their bases. The only difference apart from habitat.. Were bases. And her bases were not human.

That meant she was a demon now.

Demon who studied in a cultivation sect. Demon who lived under the same roof as the people studying how to kill those like her. Demon who was one wrong move away from being slaughtered on the spot.

She didn’t mind, of course.

She was waiting, after all.

She had decided to give things time to calm down. She wanted to ensure that Jiu-ge had settled in, that he made friends, maybe even got himself a lover (why did it sound like she was looking for excuses to stay?). Then, once Shen Yuan wouldn’t be needed anymore, she’ll end it (she will, she definitely will). (So, why the sudden hesitation? Why was she wasting so much time roleplaying an earnest cultivator?)

No matter what Peak Lord Lu and Peak Lord Jiang had said, she knew she had no future. Those two were kind people, but should the tale about her go out into the open, what kind of life would she have? Hunted down for her crimes, hunted down for her cultivation, hunted down for her nature. She was everything that orthodox cultivation world hated. Wu Yanzi himself had said so. She was a freak.

Worst of all, should the truth about her past come out in the open, she would drag Jiu-ge down to the rock bottom and destroy his image by association. So, she had to take care of things before that happened. Take all her secrets to the grave. And then, hell will be the one to judge her. They’ll measure her sins and will probably send her soul to be tormented for centuries. Would she even be allowed to reincarnate? Only time would show.

“You keep falling behind.” Liu Yanzhao snapped.

“Your steps are bigger than mine.” Shen Yuan shrugged, but didn’t increase her pace. She honestly did not care if they got separated.

“Move faster then!” One of the seniors tried to order her, at which she rolled her eyes.

“No. It is easier for you all to slow down rather than for me to speed up.” She answered back.

“You’re the reason why we are walking to begin with! This is unbecoming of cultivators!” The other senior fired back, and Shen Yuan had to admit that she was getting tired of their pissy mood.

“Then fly. Who’s stopping you? Not me.” She reminded them, and she could barely hold back a laugh from the red looks that flashed through their faces. Hot-blooded cultivators were always so easy to tease! They all had such thin faces and fragile egos!

“You’ll get hurt without us around.” Liu Yanzhao offered.

“Says the guy who couldn’t even land a hit on me from the back.”

The entire group stilled, as Shen Yuan kept on walking. She hadn’t even noticed initially as she passed through the Bai Zhan disciples and was already generous distance ahead of them. Hm.. Why was it so quiet all of a sudden? With a quick look around, she noticed how the two seniors were staring at their shixiong, whose eyes were brimming with something akin to a challenge. Oh? What’s all this?

“What’s wrong?”

“Shen-shimei.” Liu Yanzhao stepped ahead, his sword already unsheathed in his hand, “Take out your weapon and fight me.” It didn’t sound like a question. Didn’t sound like a request. No, this was a demand. Once again! But who the hell did he think he was?! 

Shen Yuan lazily traced her eyes over him. He had a good form, generous chunk of muscle on his limbs, and a firm gaze, however, his emotions were running hot and he didn’t have the sharpest mind. Liu Yanzhao’s cultivation was impressive for his age, but there was clear disconnection in his inner harmony. She could already tell that he was someone who charged into battle with too much force, too little thinking, and didn’t often consider co-variables at play.

After that thought, the answer was simple.

“No.”

She said, and turned around to keep on walking. 

“Shen Yuan!” Liu Yanzhao shouted out her name, his voice boiling with rage! Shen Yuan turned around, and groaned.

“What, Liu-shixiong?”

“Why won’t you fight me?” Liu Yanzhao asked, and Shen Yuan wondered whether she should lie or tell the truth. Then again, there was no point in deception.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Liu Yanzhao lifted his brows awaiting for her response.

“Because you’re weak.”

In less than a second, a sword was already flying straight at her face, and Shen Yuan could only groan deeper as she fished out Qiu Hun to block the upcoming attack.

Shen Yuan watched with a bored stare as Liu Yanzhao tried to strike at her from all angles. His approach was not bad, he had good speed, but he continuously fell into a patterned thinking which quickly lead her to believe that the Bai Zhan disciple was more used to fighting mindless beasts or those weaker than him rather than an equal. His sword once more tried to blaze at her right side — which she easily side stepped — and then to the left — and Shen Yuan wondered how long they would keep up this dance of cat-and-mouse until things would come to a pause. Sadly, she underestimated the young master’s determination.

“Fight! I saw your weapon! Take it back out and fight me!” He gritted out, his moves having sped up even more from his frustration. With speed, came sloppiness, unless you were a cultivator who specialized in accelerated offense.

“Look at that, she’s actually holding herself up against him.” She heard one of the seniors mutter in thought. Uhm, actually, now that she thought about it — why weren’t they stopping this?! But then again, all three were from Bai Zhan where everything was solved with fists. To them, a duel or a beating was normal. An opportunity to witness a good fight and learn. Well, she could work with that. (She hated to admit that perhaps deep down she was just as much of a brute as they were).

“I guess little miss is not as hopeless as we all thought.” Having heard that, Shen Yuan wondered how long they would have held up against such aggressive assault of stab after stab if they were in her place. Thankfully, the one being stabbed was an empty space and not her body, but the worry did rise. If she failed to dodge, would Liu Yanzhao had even been able to stop his attack on time?

Feeling rather annoyed at the entire situation, Shen Yuan decided to give in. She watched as another — sharp, straight, confident — attack had begun to descend towards her, but instead of simply stepping out the way, she took a hold of Qiu Hun and snapped the fan open. She watched the moment that Liu Yanzhao had realized that his shimei finally decided to attack back, but the movement was too fast for him to respond. Having blocked the sword with Qiu Hun, she pushed the blade harshly to the side and then snapped the fan closed, hitting the blunt edge hard against her shixiong’s wrist. Liu Yanzhao hissed, just as the cracking sound followed, but before he could respond, he had found the sharp edge of Qiu Hun resting flat against his throat. The time stilled.

“And if this was a real fight, I would have already cut your throat open or stabbed through your eyes. Either way would’ve been fine.” Shen Yuan concluded, and then stepped away, hoping that the ridiculously short fight had taught the young master a lesson, “Not every opponent is a beast or a sword wielder. You lack practice. So, don’t bother me again.” She lifted up her palm, and let Qiu Hun slide back into her sleeve; hidden from the sight.

For a moment, no one spoke. Until finally, Liu Yanzhao sighed, and rubbed against his wrist with a sullen expression, “This one is grateful for Shen-shimei’s guidance.”

Shen Yuan blinked in shock. Although Liu Yanzhao did look physically in pain from his own words, at least he was still able to hold up some face, “Sure.” She shrugged, “Well then, if that’s all, then should we get going?”

They walked in silence for a total of ten minutes, before Liu Yanzhao fell into the same step as her and began to berate her with question after question.

“Your physical build is weak and I can’t even sense your spiritual power. How were you able to stand against me?” Liu Yanzhao was clearly being eaten from inside out with his inner demons. It was quite amusing.

“There is no need for strength when deflecting an attack. It is all about timing.” Shen Yuan sighed, and then, she seemed to have remembered something, “By the way, how is shixiong’s wrist?”

“It’ll heal.” Liu Yanzhao dismissed her; seeming to now dwell on her words from before. She could see it in his eyes, that he was replaying their match over and over in his head, wondering what he could have done differently.

“You should see Lu-shishu when we come back.”

“No need.”

After that, Liu Yanzhao did not talk anymore.

Notes:

Nightmare summary if you skipped: It is a mix of two major events in Shen Yuan’s life. First event was her first willing murder where she wasn’t ordered by Wu Yanzi to do the killing. Her and Wu Yanzi were asked to curse a wife of a rich lord because she cheated on him. Later that night, Shen Yuan went back to the manor of their client, and found the said wife tied up in the wooden shed to a pole with the pigs. The woman — Chang-furen — admitted to having cheated on her husband, but that she didn’t regret it, and that she is in love with another. Shen Yuan saw the obvious signs of physical domestic abuse on the woman, and helped treat her wounds. She ended up freeing Chang-furen, and the two of them killed the rich lord by feeding him alive to the pigs to be torn to shreds. The second event was when her and Wu Yanzi were staying over at another demonic cultivator’s house for a couple of nights. Shen Yuan was drugged with a sweet tea that had a paralyzing poison in it which also muddles the mind. The dream does not specify how far things went, but eventually Wu Yanzi intervened, helped Shen Yuan sober up, and encouraged her to torture and kill the man who had assaulted her.

 

Thanks for reading! It is 1am for me, I am falling asleep as I type, but I really wanted post this now cuz i actually have sm work to do with my uni so next update might come a bit later than usual. This fic has been updating on quite a fast schedule so far, but it’ll def slow down by a lot after chapter 9.

If you enjoyed a kudo or a comment would mean the world to me <3 thanks! (But I understand if you would prefer to be a silent reader — no pressure!) It also helps me work, write, and edit faster! sooo yeah! Anyways, have a nice day! 💗

Chapter 8: Heart demons

Summary:

“I’ve been good.” Shen Yuan rubbed at the stain over and over again, but the blood would not wash off. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub.

“And your day?”

“My day has been good too.”

Notes:

TW/CW for the following chapter: nightmares, mentions of blood and gore, mentions of past child abuse, Wu Yanzi & Master Chang theme flashbacks, psychosis (hallucinations), bullying, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, self-harm

NOT FULLY EDITED!
I just want to post early lolz

The crystals gleamed beautifully at the bottom of the lake, but just as Shen Yuan thought that she could do it — she could dive in just like everybody else, there was no point in being afraid, she wasn’t a little child — a cold shiver ran down her spine. She recalled the time her head was held underwater, the time when she slowly walked into the ocean, the time when Wu Yanzi made her vomit the water back up — never letting her die no matter how hard she tried. The memories surged back up, clouding any sense of time and awareness.

“Shen-shimei?” She heard someone say right next to her, and against herself, she jumped right out of her skin, “Woah! You okay? Didn’t mean to startle you.” It was one of the seniors, and although he was sour the entire way here, he genuinely seemed to feel sorry for scaring her.

“Yes. This shimei is alright.” Shen Yuan then glanced back down at the lake, “There are crystals at the bottom, but I will be unable to assist.”

“Why? You don’t know how to swim?” Liu Yanzhao asked — probably meaning to offend — but Shen Yuan nodded.

“Yes.” She admitted easily, even though Wu Yanzi had always taught her to never reveal any weaknesses that could be used against her.

“That’s.. Not good. You should speak with Jiang-shibo about teaching you.” Liu Yanzhao offered, and Shen Yuan shrugged, as she went back to inspecting the cave. Deep down, she was hoping to find a cave gecko to add to her collection of ‘strange things that either live in Shen Yuan’s sleeves or in Shen Yuan’s glass jars’, but sadly, the loudness of Bai Zhan brutes seemed to have scared them all off.

The time passed, Shen Yuan waited around as Bai Zhan disciples kept diving in and diving back out. More and more crystals piled up by the lake, and Shen Yuan wondered for a second whether they would notice if a few crystals disappeared. She could sell them, and buy something pretty for Jiang-shijie, or something warm for Jiu-ge. As she was pondering on the pros and cons of theft, the three boys seemed to have completed their task, leaving her no choice but to pout at the lost opportunity.

Nothing much happened the following day, and after a few days, the three disciples stepped back onto the sect grounds carrying bags of crystals, herbs and stones. However, before they could bid each other goodbyes, an echo of a familiar voice reached Shen Yuan’s ears.

“So, it really is you! Un-fucking-believable!”

“Jiu-ge!” She gasped, because she hadn’t heard her brother this enraged since the day he shouted at her after the escape from the Qiu manor. Something must have happened. Something serious.

“Shen-shimei!” She heard one of the seniors call out, but it was too late. The bags she was holding have already been dropped to the ground, as she did her best to sprint towards the building sound of the commotion.

She had no idea what was happening, but there was an entire circle of disciples gathered around. Bunch of whispers reached Shen Yuan’s ears, but none of them made any sense.

“Let me through, please!” She gritted through her teeth as she pushed away the rowdy crowd. Someone snickered and had tried to trip her, but she noticed on time and avoided the trap.

The sight that greeted her made her blood grow cold.

Jiu-ge was okay. He wasn’t harmed and he was healthy. In front of him stood another disciple, dressed in lavish robes with his hair brushed away and carefully settled with a head crown. Shen Yuan couldn’t put her finger around it, but the stranger seemed familiar. She could almost recognize the softness in the gaze and the worry in the knitted brows, but the memory was all too distant. Shen Yuan shook her head, reminding herself to focus, and ran up to her older brother. Although he was shouting not long ago. Now? He was dead silent.

“Jiu-ge, Jiu-ge.” She called out, as she cupped his face. He was much taller, so it was challenging to get him to look back at her, “What happened?” Before she could get an answer, a commanding presence had shown up.

“Do none of you have nothing better to do?! Scram!”

Shen Yuan blinked her surprise away. Jiang Tianhe.. Was telling people off? The man had always seemed gentle. At times she thought that he would shed a tear if he were to step on an insect. But right now, the presence of a Peak Lord seeped through him as he dismissed each and every disciple; telling them that if they will not leave then they’ll be punished with endless laps around Qing Jing Peak.

“..Xiao Jiu.” She heard that same stranger whisper, and suddenly her blood went cold. That name.. That voice.. Before she could turn around and take a second look at the strange disciple, Jiu-ge suddenly came into motion, and quickly grasped his arms around her in a lock; forcing her to stay still, “That girl.. Is that Xiao..” 

“Don’t say it.” Jiu-ge snarled, his eyes filled with hatred. Although the hand that began to pat Shen Yuan’s head was achingly gentle, “Don’t you dare fucking say it.”

“Disciple Shen Jiu, Disciple Shen Yuan. What is going on here?” Jiang Tianhe had approached, and Jiu-ge’s hold finally loosened to give her the freedom to move.

“Nothing.” Jiu-ge answered, in a cold, callous tone. “I mistook Disciple Yue for someone who I used to know.” Shen Yuan ignored the sharp gasp from behind her, “Meimei, let’s go.” He grasped her hand, harshly pulling her forwards.

“O-okay..” Shen Yuan hastily agreed, as she let herself be led away by her brother back to Qing Jing Peak. Jiang Tianhe sighed from where he stood, asking her questions about how her mission went and inquiring on what her and Bai Zhan disciples managed to collect. She had quickly filled the man in on the details, and promised that she’ll write a report as soon as she could.

 

 

 

 

 

The moment he caught the sight of Yuan-mei — he felt his blood go cold. He watched his sister approach with evident worry on her face. Fuck. He had hoped that the mission would take longer, that there would be a set-back, literally fucking anything!

He couldn’t have Yuan-mei seeing Qi-ge.

“Jiu-ge, Jiu-ge.” She cupped his face, “What happened?” But he didn’t know what to say.

His sister wasn’t the same little girl who he and Qi-ge grew up with. She was viscous and dangerous, but still painfully young. In the time he had spent on Qing Jing Peak, Shen Jiu made many visits to the library. He researched demonic cultivation and its effects on the bearer’s mind day and night. The librarian had even made a complain to Shizun about his ‘concerning interests’, but Shizun did not scold him. He had that knowing look in his eyes, and he let Shen Jiu be.

As he led Yuan-mei away, Shen Jiu noticed Qi-ge giving him the most soul-crushing look. Shen Jiu could only bite his inner cheek and force himself to look away. Qi-ge didn’t know. He had no idea what he was dealing with, but before Yuan-mei would see Qi-ge, he had to talk with her first. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his sister or considered her a blood-hungry beast, but..

Yuan-mei was not okay.

She might seem okay at the surface to others, but there was madness lingering in her eyes that often unsettled him. He had many conversations with Shizun and Lu-shishu. They explained that “the creeps” that he got around her was just his spiritual energy contrasting with her demonic one, and because the seal on her cultivation suppressed direct perception, his body couldn’t identify the cause, thus, giving him “the creeps”. Yuan-mei seemed oblivious to it. To her, it just seemed like people didn’t like her for no reason, and Shen Jiu’s heart was cracking at the fact.. How little that idea bothered her. She was so accepting of the fact that.. No one wanted her around.

However, he couldn’t have Yuan-mei see Qi-ge until he would explain. Because if Yuan-mei would come to the same conclusion as him — that Qi-ge had left him with the Qius and never came back — he genuinely didn’t know what Yuan-mei would do. She killed Wu Yanzi without hesitation for the sake of protecting Shen Jiu. She promised to kill everyone at the Qiu Manor the moment they were reunited. She cut off Qiu Jianluo’s hand for daring to touch him without as much as a blink. Her reactions were fierce, protective, and cruel. Shen Jiu did not fault her even for a second. All those people who have died by his sister’s hand? They could burn for eternity for all he cared. But he had seen how Wu Yanzi’s death affected her. Until this day — she was tormented with what she had done (with what he had made her do! if only he had been stronger, and didn’t have Yuan-mei kill her own Shizun! why was he always so useless?!) — and he couldn’t let that happen again.

Seeing Qi-ge gave him a moment of clarity. Before the rage and disappointment, he couldn’t help but feel relief. All these years he had believed for his brother to be long dead. Deep down (he would never admit this), but he was so fucking glad that Qi-ge was alive. Yuan-mei and Qi-ge were alive, maybe his life wasn’t doomed with the curse of misfortune after all. They were all fucked up from their past. They all had their demons to deal with. But the three of them have made it out. They weren’t on the streets anymore. They weren’t starving. They lived.

“Ge, are you okay?” Yuan-mei asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

They walked far away to the river where Yuan-mei often was made to do laundry. The rock at which Shen Jiu would paddle the robes had created a dent that he refused to acknowledge. With a sigh, he sat down on the grass and pulled his sister down with him, plopping her into a hug where her back was pressed against his chest. She was confused, but went along with him.

“Jie-ge, who was that?” She asked. He could play an idiot. But he knew better.

“Meimei.” Shen Jiu sighed. He forced himself to calm. Deep breath.. In and out. Steady heart. He had to serve as a mediator for the storm of emotions that would come, “That was Qi-ge.” He answered, and pulled an unruly lock of hair behind her ear, “Do you remember Qi-ge? Our older brother?”

“Of course I do! I even asked you about him at the Qiu Manor!” Yuan-mei’s eyes were already wide, “But.. I thought..” Well, meimei, we thought the same, “Why is he here? Why.. Did he not.. No, no. Surely!”

“Meimei.” He hugged her tighter, feeling the way her body began to shake. From anger? Fear? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure which one scared him more. “When I first saw him, I got upset, because I had the same thoughts as you are having right now. But then I thought about it. Wu Yanzi massacred the entire Qiu family. It is.. Possible that he assumed that I died there as well.”

He was still angry with Qi-ge. There were so many questions, and so little answers. But in a sense, Shen Yuan showing up and dragging his attention away from his rage had helped him cool his mind. They would still need to talk.

“But then why..” Yuan-mei mumbled.

“Speak up.” His sister tried to shift in her place, but he held her still, “What is it?”

“Why didn’t you let me talk to him? Why did we just walk away from him?”

And the question stumped him.

Right. Actually.. Yuan-mei did not react the way he thought she would.

Why did he.. Not trust her around Qi-ge?

 

Shit.

 

Was he.. Protecting Qi-ge from her?

 

What the fuck?

 

Were “the creeps” starting to affect his perception of his own fucking sister? How the fuck was he any better from those kids who are picking on her for no good reason? When did he.. Began thinking of her that way? After everything that she did for him? After all the remorse she’s shown him? After all the heartache? She was hurting, but that didn’t make her incapable of reason.

 

He paled at his own thoughts.

 

“Ge?”

 

He looked down, and saw forest-green eyes staring back at him. The exact same eyes that always looked up at him, like he knew all the answers in the world (because no matter how old they got, he will always be Yuan-mei’s big brother). Viscous and dangerous, had he really thought that about her? Towards Qi-ge?

 

That’s..

 

That’s just..

 

“I didn’t want you to get upset.” He explained, but even to him it didn’t sound like a great excuse.

Yuan-mei frowned in deep thought, “Jiu-ge, that’s sweet, but I am not a little girl anymore.” Yes, you are. You are still so little. You barely reach my shoulder. “And as you said so yourself, we don’t know what Qi-ge has been up to. Maybe he went to look, maybe he didn’t.. I am sure he had good reasons, but how can we find that out if we walk away instead of asking him?” This time she turned around to face him, “Qi-ge is still our brother. You two got separated, and now you’re back together in the same sect. So.. Shouldn’t you stay close? Reconnect? Like you and me did?”

And then, just as Shen Jiu felt tension leave him, Yuan-mei said something that made alarm bells ring.

“Because should something happen to me, he’s the only family you’ll have left. And I don’t want Jiu-ge to be lonely.” Her eyes looked back at him. Those eyes knew something he did not. They were.. Scheming. Plotting. What though? Why did she keep bringing up death and separation? Had the loss of Wu Yanzi impacted her so deeply?

“Meimei.” He said firmly, and hugged her tight. Any more strength and her ribs would have cracked, “Whatever foolish thoughts you’re having — perish them out of your mind. Understood?”

Yuan-mei did not argue. She simply fell limp in his hold, pressing tighter into his warmth, “Of course, ge. You’re the one who’s having weird thoughts. Everything will be okay. You’ll be okay.”

Shen Jiu tried to ignore the weird feeling that he felt brewing from within. Something was wrong. He couldn’t tell what. Yuan-mei was both exactly the same as he knew her, but also so painfully different. She was both young and old. He couldn’t figure her out.

“Should we go see Qi-ge?” He heard her ask.

“Okay. We will.” He answered back, but did not make the first move to stand up.

His eyes continued to bore into the river before them, watching the crystal clear stream flow. A memory of pushing Wu Yanzi’s body into the water surfaced in his mind, and he shook away the haunting thoughts. He didn’t want to bury the man. For what he had seen between him and his sister — all Shen Jiu felt was hatred. But maybe.. Had they paid proper respects to the dead.. Maybe Yuan-mei wouldn’t be as tormented as she was today.

 

 

 

 

 

“A-Yuan! Are you going to cook again tonight?” Jiang Yulian asked, seeming to have popped up out of nowhere. Same as Jiang Tianhe, she had ridiculously quiet steps, that not even Shen Yuan was able to hear.

“I wasn’t planning to, but this shimei will cook for you if you want.” Shen Yuan offered, and Jiang Yulian’s eyes dazzled with excitement.

“Yes, please! A-Yuan, your cooking is the best! Your hands must have been blessed by the Heavens!” She squeaked, and then eyed the basket in younger girl’s hands, “What is it that you’re carrying?”

“Just some washed vegetables. I was bringing them back to the kitchens.” Shen Yuan explained, and before she could even catch on what was happening, Jiang Yulian had already snatched the basket from out her grasp.

“Let your shijie help, since you’ll be cooking for her.” Jiang Yulian did not wait to listen to Shen Yuan’s protests, as she sped off quickly towards the building. The latter stared in a daze, until her lips lightly twitched upwards in amusement, and eventually, she followed suit.

The kitchens were much less busy tonight, as dinner service had already ended an hour ago. Most of the cooking staff have left to retire for the day, only a few cleaners have stayed behind to do the dishes and mop the floors.

“Disciple Jiang and disciple Shen!” One of the workers had instantly recognized the two girls, as they have become common visitors in the past few months, “What can this humble one help you two with?”

“Don’t worry uncle, A-Yuan promised to cook me something yummy, so I’m helping her carry in the vegetables!” Jiang Yulian answered with ease, as she settled the basket down on the counter.

The man with the broom narrowed his eyes, “Are those the same vegetables that the head cook asked disciple Shen to wash for the dinner service?” He asked suspiciously, although, his tone was more confused rather than accusatory. 

“..This one sincerely apologizes.” Shen Yuan bowed. Not having much of an excuse.

“Aish, no need for all this fancy talk.” The man waved her off, and nudged her back up, “Did something happen?”

“Uhm, no. I merely got lost in thought..” Shen Yuan did not feel like admitting to the man that she had another repeat of the.. episode.. and couldn’t pull herself out of it for a long, long time. The voices rang loud in her ears, and wouldn’t shut up even as she’d bang her head against the tree, “..and before I knew it, it was already late.”

“Ah, well. It is no matter.” The man shrugged it off, “We served meat tonight instead.” He assured her, “Say, why don’t you use those vegetables to make something nice for your shijie, and we’ll use the leftovers for tomorrow’s breakfast?”

“Is that okay..?” Shen Yuan asked; feeling uncertain.

“Of course, of course!” The man smiled, and then turned back around, “Well, I’ll leave you kids to it then.” At that, he had retreated back to the corner of the kitchen which he was yet to clean.

“A-Yuan, what are you going to cook today?” Jiang Yulian asked, and Shen Yuan thought for a moment. Unlike most people Shen Yuan has met, Jiang Yulian was surprisingly a very willing eater. She wasn’t picky, could handle any level of spice, and was always open to trying new things. In a sense, she was a perfect test subject for Shen Yuan to expand her cooking skills on.

“Hm.. We’ve got a lot of cabbage in here.” Shen Yuan pointed out, as she eyed the contents in the basket.

“That we do!” Jiang Yulian agreed.

“I could make stir-fried snow pea shoots and braised cabbage with wood ear mushrooms.. On light-soy broth. Perhaps, some tofu as well? How would you like it?” She asked, but Jiang Yulian shook her head.

“I’d like to leave it to the chef to decide what’s best!” She affirmed, and Shen Yuan smiled at the praise.

“Alright, alright. You should go do something, while I’m busy in here.” Shen Yuan said, and watched as Jiang Yulian crouched down next to the servant who was doing the dishes to help.

Although Jiang Yulian was a rich girl and wasn’t any good at doing housework, her earnest heart and gentle soul always had her reaching and trying. She was terribly clumsy, would often drop dishes, and get soap in her hair, but she would never back down (Unlike with the laundry. That — she definitely wasn’t cut out for).

Shen Yuan wasn’t always a good cook. Long ago (before she wanted to die, before her Shizun’s change of heart, before the blackening of her soul), when the girl had only been eight, she had learned her first harsh lesson from Wu Yanzi — to never serve him a meal that was not to his liking. Back then, she hadn’t known that he disliked cabbages, bamboo shoots and green beans. She couldn’t even imagine someone making a face at a lotus pastry or a milk candy. However, when Wu Yanzi had tasked her with cooking, and she clumsily had put together a meal, the man gave it a long, deep stare. Then, before she even had a chance to blink, he had picked up the plate and smashed it hard enough to have it crack against her skull. The man was decades older than her, bigger, taller. She was just a little girl. Easily, she tumbled down to the ground from a single hit, her forehead bleeding, her eyes wet from shock from what had happened.

He never told her what was wrong with the meal. It was always trial-and-error. Each time she got it right, he would eat. He would never thank her, never praise her, never offer any comment. If it displeased him, he would hit her hard enough to make her see the would in doubles. Thus, when Wu Yanzi would choose to stay the nights at inns, she would offer to help in the kitchens by washing dishes and chopping vegetables, as long as she got a chance to observe and learn how to cook.

Her skills got better and better. It was simple. She had no choice but to get better. Eventually, the act had become so deeply rooted into her hands, that she was able to make meals worth best-rated restaurants even when they were in the middle of nowhere in the wilderness.

“A-Yuan, are you okay?” Jiang Yulian’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. However, there seemed to be something off in her tone. Worry.. Concern? Alarmed, Shen Yuan snapped her eyes upwards to check on her shijie’s condition, but she seemed to be fine. Relieved, she felt her shoulders droop down.

“Of course. What’s wrong? I’m still not done cooking.” Shen Yuan was just about to tease the girl about her impatience, but Jiang Yulian’s tense look did not leave her expression.

“..A-Yuan, you’re bleeding.”

“Huh?”

Slowly, Shen Yuan looked back down, just to see that the cooking knife with which she had been cutting up tofu was instead wedged deep into her finger. As if in a trance, she watched the blood pool across the surface. Her blood was red. Why did she expect it to be black? Why did she expect it to come out clotted and filthy, like goo, corrupted with sin? But no. It was red. Red. Same as that of a dead sheep. Same as that of a dead wolf. Red.

They all bled same red blood.

What a waste. She could have fed this to Qiu Hun. Ugh.

“Are you okay, A-Yuan?”

“Of course, of course. Sorry about that.”

She washed the blood off and kept on cutting the food. Her mind was a buzz for the rest of the evening. She was present, but she also wasn’t. Up until she managed to find time to sneak out in the night, hide in the woodshed, and place Qiu Hun against her wrist. The static stopped dampening her brain, and she felt relief wash over her. As if the tension which she had been holding in all day had finally popped and released. She sighed, and let her back trail down the wall as she relaxed into it. Together with her blood — all tension and anxiety bled out with it. The mission, Qi-ge, all thoughts and worries..

“Qiu Hun..” She whispered.

When exactly.. Had her voice became so hoarse? What was the wet thing sliding down her cheek? Xiao Shi did not cry. Yuan did not cry. Wu Yuan did not cry. Shen Yuan — also — did not cry. So, what could it be? Why did her vision keep blurring?

“Qiu Hun.” Someone sniffled. It couldn’t be her. Impossible. “Jiu-ge.. Now will have Qi-ge. So.. It is just you and me.” She wiped her eyes. Honestly — was it dust? Why was her chest tearing apart from inside-out? Demons don’t cry, after all. Those couldn’t be tears. “We’ll go to hell together. Will you come with me, Qiu Hun?” She felt the weapon purr back.

“Okay.. Okay. I guess that’s it then.”

 

 

 

 

 

Whoosh!

 

Smash!

 

Shen Yuan hissed as she found herself face-flat against the floor of the lecture hall. Jiang Yulian was already crouching nearby, her face twisted with worry as she helped her shimei sit back up. Shen Yuan blankly stared at the scattered papers, which other disciples didn’t mind to stomp all over while they pretended not to notice.

“What the hell is wrong with you all?!” Jiang Yulian snapped at the giggling boys behind them. One of the faces was eerily familiar — the one she had grown to resent over the months — Sun Qiang.

As much as Shen Yuan appreciated Jiang Yulian defending her whenever she could, she knew that there was no point to it. Nothing would change. Confrontations would only create unnecessary tension.

A couple weeks back, during her digging, Shen Yuan had also discovered that Sun Qiang came from a family of known scholars, who even had distant connections with the Emperor. Although Sun Qiang had a nasty personality, he was the son of two prodigies and was genuinely talented in the arts and cultivation. Unlike her, he truly belonged to Qing Jing Peak. So, there was no point in complaining, because he.. Was not going to go anywhere. Meanwhile, she was an outsider. A pet project, picked up by the two Peak Lords with fascination of demonic experimentation and its effects on the others. If not for her freaky nature, she wouldn’t have even been here.

No wonder everything has been so shit.

“Shijie, it’s okay.” Shen Yuan assured, as she slowly scooped up the scrolls. One of the disciples even stepped on her hand — almost crushing her fingers — and could only mumble a quick apology before fleeing. The girl didn’t even be bother to guess whether this was a genuine accident or another cruel trick.

Her hands were ugly. Deformed from constant breaks and cracks. From never having access to proper medicine or healing. Thus, she always hid her palms in fists and pulled her sleeves as low as they would go.

 

Shen Yuan never cared before but..

 

She was quite a hideous one, wasn’t she?

 

Once shattered glass will never look the same. There will always be cracks left behind.

 

“What’s the commotion? Everyone, please sit in your seats. We’ve got no time to waste.” Huang-laoshi waltzed in, already eyeing Shen Yuan with disdain, “Disciple Shen, what is this mess?” He scoffed and glared at the scene.

“He tripped her!” Jiang Yulian defended, but the elder only raised a brow.

“Is that so?” His eyes traveled up to Sun Qiang who gave an innocent shrug.

“This one was merely standing nearby, when suddenly Jiang-shijie and Shen-shimei began accusing me. Huang-laoshi, this one swears that he hadn’t done anything.” The teacher considered his student for a while.

Eventually, he let out a sigh, “Very well. We’ll leave this incident at that.” Shen Yuan ignored the hurt in her chest at being brushed off once more. She also ignored the gasp from Jiang Yulian, and instead, drifted her attention back to the scattered pile.

Eventually, the lesson commenced, and Shen Yuan hunched her shoulders as she proceeded to lazily take notes. During all lessons (apart from calligraphy), she had abandoned the quality of her handwriting for the sake of noting down content fast and efficiently, but such sacrifice always earned her loss in marks for ‘effort’. Whatever. Huang-laoshi couldn’t be impressed. His opinion on Shen Yuan and her ‘barbarism’ has been settled long ago.

“—hear from disciple Shen.”

Shen Yuan snapped back to the present — everyone’s eyes already on her.

“Yes, Huang-laoshi?” She slowly stood up, and the man gave her yet another one of his ‘looks’.

“Well, disciple Shen, don’t waste everyone’s time. Answer the question.” Shen Yuan bit the inside of her cheek.

“This one apologizes, but could she hear the question again?” She asked, hoping that the man would give her an easy way out and simply repeat himself. Instead, he scoffed and gestured for her to sit back down. Had her cultivation been any lesser, she wouldn’t have caught the grumble of, ‘what a waste of time’, under his breath.

“Disciple Mo, answer the question.” Huang-laoshi turned to address another disciple.

“Yu Qin and Ji Xin sects were disbanded over the practice of forbidden techniques. Ji Xin sect was additionally charged with treason after they were caught housing a criminal who was set to have been executed by Huan Hua Palace three decades ago.” Disciple Mo — a bleak, dull girl — answered in a perfect tone of a well-read and educated disciple. Shen Yuan bitterly squeezed at her brush, but thankfully, it didn’t snap.

She knew that too! She studied! She just – zoned out! It was hard to pay attention for so long! There was barely any stimulation or engagement, the teacher’s tone was monotone and boring, and she was barely getting any sleep! Qiu Hun’s feeding sessions and progressing nightmares were no help either!

 

But she was trying!

 

She was trying so hard!

 

Maybe there was no point in trying?

 

Was there a point to anything?

 

The lecture dragged on. Shen Yuan tried her hardest to stay focused, but her eyes felt heavier than blocks with each passing second. To keep herself awake, she dragged the sharp nail of her thumb against her skin, deep enough to scratch it raw, but not have it bleed. Pain was instant and zapping, but not quite there to keep her awake. Soon, her scratching intensified, as she fought against the urge to just lay down her head and sleep. When all of a sudden—

“Shimei, what are you doing?” Came Jiang Yulian’s worried whisper. Shen Yuan was just about to whisper back an explanation, but as her eyes travelled to the face of her shijie..

 

—Shen Yuan screamed.

 

“Shimei!”

 

“What’s going on?!”

 

Shen Yuan could hear people talking around her, but the only thing that mattered was— No. This couldn’t be. This wasn’t real. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes, but the face of a dead man kept staring right back at her. Behind her concerned shijie stood Master Chang with half of his face chewed off. Blood and puss was oozing out of his injuries, with his eyes hollowed-out and missing eyeballs while his cheeks were full of hole patches that had maggots wriggling in and out. She could see the side of his exposed skull, and underneath the cracks, there was brain matter leaking down the side of his face towards his neck.

Master Chang’s jaw kept opening and closing, like he was trying to say nothing, but each time, only more maggots crawled out of his mouth and fell to the ground. Hesitantly, Shen Yuan traced with her eyes where they fell, only to discover that the flesh-eaters were making their way towards her — with intend to eat. Like she was their next prey! But she wasn’t dead yet — why were they—?!

“Disciple Shen!” Shen Yuan watched in a daze as Huang-laoshi grasped her shoulders and pulled her up. She didn’t even notice that this entire time she was sitting on the floor; her robes and hair have become a mess (just how violent was her fall?), “Get up this instant! This behavior is getting out of control!”

“I..” She gulped. Looking back to where Master Chang was — now there was an empty space. Only occasionally, from somewhere far away, she could still hear the pigs crunching their teeth against the man’s bones. The mere mental image sent a shiver down her spine. Suddenly, the room felt far too cold and she began to shiver, “This one.. Apologizes.”

She’s had episodes like this before but.. This had to be the most intense one. Was it because she was tired? Relaxed? What triggered this?

“You are to kneel at the Discipline Hall until I will call for Peak Lord Jiang to deal with you. Your behavior has gone too far this time around. I won’t have you disrupt my lectures anymore. Understood?” Huang-laoshi’s tone was firm and straightforward. It left no room for argument.

Shen Yuan chewed on her bottom lip, but eventually nodded. Resigned. Not like it mattered anyway.

“Disciple Shen. Understood?” The man repeated once more, expecting a verbal response back.

“Yes, Huang-laoshi. This disciple shall proceed to the Discipline Hall.” She bowed, and the man sighed, dismissing her out of his sight. Shen Yuan didn’t dare lock eyes with Jiang Yulian — ashamed of the way she was — she wouldn’t be able to handle seeing disappointment from the only shijie who didn’t hate her.

Shen Yuan kneeled for hours until Shizun showed up.

“Disciple Shen, raise your head.” She obeyed, but couldn’t read the look that the man was giving her. “Tell this master what happened.”

She swallowed, “This disciple disrupted Huang-laoshi’s class with erratic behavior. Begging Shizun for punishment.” On instinct, her lashes were about to lower back to the ground, when she felt the tips of man’s fingers touched her chin and lift her face back up.

Jiang Tianhe let out a small sigh, “Why did you disrupt class?”

Shen Yuan paused. She couldn’t tell her Shizun about the ghosts of the dead and.. the voices. He would think her mad! (Wasn’t she?)

“This one.. Got startled.” She tried. Her half-lie came out awkward and obvious.

“With what?” The man pressed further. Seeming to have endless patience.

“This disciple is unsure..” Shen Yuan once more tried to evade the intense eye contact, to which her Shizun frowned. 

“Disciple Shen, it is better that you do not lie to this master. This one is aware of many of your secrets already, what’s the fear in having me learn another one?” He tried to reason with her, but she only grumbled, which earned her a smack on her head.

Jiang Tianhe got back up on his feet and patted his palms against the sides of his robes, “You are to copy the founder rules of Qing Jing Peak fifty times and run twenty-five laps around the peak. Dismissed.” Just as he was about to leave, the man paused, “And if you do decide to speak with this master about what truly concerns you, then feel free to find me. I shall be waiting.” At last, his soundless steps have disappeared from sight.

Shen Yuan swallowed a lump in her throat, as she began to get ready to head to the Punishment Hall for rule copying. (With all fibre of her being, she ignored the wailing of a dying man behind her. It wasn’t real, she reminded herself, even as her ears continued to ring from the assault. It wasn’t real, she repeated like a mantra as she watched how her footsteps were stained in blood. No one else seemed to notice).

 

 

 

 

 

In the end, Jiu-ge and Shen Yuan never go to visit Qi-ge. It is Qi-ge who came seeking her out himself. A few disciples gave questioning looks as the young man kept asking after a girl with bright green eyes named ‘Shi’, until finally, he was led towards the river where Shen Yuan squatted as she did laundry.

Recently, her hands have started to go numb from the feeding sessions of Qiu Hun. She felt like every day was starting to blend together. From rinsing vegetables, to chopping wood, to sorting books in the library, to doing laundry. During lessons, if she did well, she was looked down on, if she did badly, she was laughed at. Nobody seemed to respect her. Nobody treated her fairly except for Jiang Yulian, Jiu-ge, Jiang Tianhe, and Lu Tianrui. Such a small circle of people compared to hundreds of those she passed by on a daily basis. She told herself that none of it had bothered her. That shidis who tried to trip her over were just messing around, that shixiongs who kept stealing her stuff were only trying to test her patience, that shijies who pointed at her face and laughed simply were too infatuated with Jiu-ge to realize that Shen Yuan wasn’t and never will be a competition. Shen Yuan told herself over and over again that people were malicious creatures. It was normal for them to be petty, to commit evil, to bully the weak. But Shen Yuan wasn’t weak, far from weak, and all of this was happening because she had no means to stand up for herself.

In the past, the only one who could hurt Shen Yuan was Wu Yanzi. The world would never dare to lay a finger on her the more powerful she grew. Suddenly, with Wu Yanzi gone, the world had bared its teeth and sharpened its claws. Surrounded by people, yet she was alone. Qiu Hun hummed in agreement as if it could read her thoughts.

“Xiao Shi?”

She startled at the name she hadn’t heard in many, many years. Slowly, she turned her head around and was faced with a youth who had soft eyes and a kind smile. Qi-ge. How come she hadn’t recognized him straight away? Although his looks have matured, his spirit was undeniable. Same broad shoulders and same blue-tinted locks.

“Qi-ge.” Shen Yuan stood up to greet him, suddenly feeling awkward with her ragged appearance, “Are you looking for Jiu-ge?” She wondered.

 

Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub.

 

“No, I am here to see you.” Qi-ge seemed like he couldn’t hold himself back anymore as he locked his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug, “Qi-ge has missed you so much, Xiao Shi.. I am so glad that you’re alive. The day that they took you.. I..” It seemed like he did not know how to put his thoughts into words, so Shen Yuan cut through.

“I missed you too. When I found Jiu-ge at the Qiu Manor.. We both thought that you were dead.. I was so sad.. I am so glad that you’re okay, Qi-ge.” She felt her heart squeeze at the memory.

“I’m sorry.” Qi-ge cradled his fingers through her hair and scratched at the back of her scalp; the way she liked when she was a little girl. That was so long ago now — the memory blurred — as if it was a fever dream rather than reality.

They did not move for a while, just enjoying each other presences. She thought back to how heartbroken Jiu-ge seemed at the sight of Qi-ge, but she couldn’t quite share the same pettiness as her other older brother. But then again, she never expected to be saved. She wasn’t waiting for Jiu-ge or Qi-ge to come. She had given herself up in hopes to protect them, but she always knew that they were not going to come back and get her. Jiu-ge — on the other hand — was stuck waiting for years. Getting beaten, starved, abused, and raped as he waited day after day for Qi-ge to come back. Of course Jiu-ge was resentful to see that Qi-ge was perfectly fine and healthy, living his best life at the sect. As a Head Disciple of the Sect Leader no less, even.

“Qi-ge, why didn’t you come back for Jiu-ge?” She asked, not beating around the bush.

“I..” Qi-ge hesitated, and fell silent. There was guilt corroded through every inch of his face, “I’m sorry.”

Frown creased through her brows, “Don’t be sorry. Explain.”

“There is nothing to explain.” Suddenly, she was pushed away from the embrace, as Qi-ge’s eyes drifted off into the distance. He seemed to be lost in a memory that pained him deeply, “Your Qi-ge failed to keep his promise. That’s all.”

“Okay.” She sighed, “If Qi-ge failed, does that mean that he tried?”

Qi-ge’s eyes instantly snapped back to her, “Xiao Shi..”

“If Qi-ge tried, then that’s all that matters. Jiu-ge is here now and safe. He deserves the right to know that our older brother did not abandon him.” Shen Yuan said firmly.

“I’m not sure Xiao Jiu wants to see me..” Qi-ge admitted, and Shen Yuan could only scoff. Qi-ge could be so dumb at times, it was horrible. He might be taller now and have bigger muscles, but he was still as thick as a wall!

“Do you not know what Jiu-ge is like?! Of course he wants to see you! He’s just mad and confused! So, instead of talking to me, you should be talking to him, got it?!” She snapped, and Qi-ge blinked at her for a few seconds in surprise, until a small chuckle could be heard, “Aiyah, what are you laughing at?”

“Xiao Shi is all grown up now. Scolding this Qi-ge the same way Jiu-ge did all those years ago. You two.. Are so alike.” He said, and although he was smiling, his voice was sadder than that of a weeping maiden. What a soft-hearted boy.

“Xiao Shi is Shen Yuan now.” She reminded, and something funny danced through her brother’s expression, “And Jiu-ge is Shen Jiu. Spelled with the character for black jade.” Qi-ge nodded.

After all, they never got the chance to tell him their new chosen names. They wanted it to be a secret from the slavers, and before they knew it, Shen Yuan was taken away. Then, there was no time or point in sharing.

“I understand, A-Yuan.” He said, and Shen Yuan felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards.

“You should go talk to him. He waited long enough.” Although she nudged him to leave, Qi-ge didn’t move a step. Instead, he sat down next to her, and without even being asked, he began to help her with the laundry. Just like Jiu-ge. The two might be polar opposites, but have always been her older brothers.

“I’ll go eventually, but first, I want to spend time with you.” He insisted, “Now, why don’t you tell me about how have you been?” Shen Yuan should have felt warmth, but instead, her heart was pierced right through.

 

Qi-ge. Jiu-ge. I’m sorry. She thought to herself, but forced it all down. All the word vomit, all the budding hatred, all the resentment.

 

“I’ve been good.” Shen Yuan rubbed at the stain over and over again, but the blood would not wash off.

 

Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrub.

 

“And your day?”

 

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

 

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

 

Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub—

 

“My day has been good too.”

 

 

 

 

 

Qiu Hun was hungry today. More than usual. Even after gulping down a generous amount of life force from its master, its hunger only seemed to have grown more. Shen Yuan was slowly running out of ideas on how to satiate its lust for blood — for murder — and the stress of it was weighting her down. The nightmares did not let her sleep, the chores did not let her rest, the worries did not let her think. Every moment, every second, every hour she was plagued by persistent ache at the back of her mind. What happens if she looses control? She can’t let it happen. She can’t let the control go. She’d rather be dead. Dead, dead, dead. Being dead would be so much easier. Dying would solve all of her problems.

Jiu-ge was now in the cultivation sect how he always dreamed. He seemed to be doing well. He was talented and intelligent, and he quickly caught up with the material which he had missed from beginning of the year. Qi-ge had been reunited with them. Soon, they’ll have a proper heart-to-heart that’ll clear up any misunderstandings. She trusted that Qi-ge wouldn’t ignore her words. Everyone was safe and happy. At last. She could rest at peace. Jiang Tianhe and Lu Tianrui wouldn’t have to risk their reputation for her sake anymore. As if she was ever worth any of this ruckus.

 

She died long ago.

 

Xiao Shi died starving on the streets.

 

Yuan died with her head held underwater.

 

Wu Yuan died freezing in a cave.

 

Shen Yuan.. Was doomed to die as well.

 

She died many years ago.

 

All that remained was a walking corpse.

 

Qiu Hun grumbled louder, like a predator out on a hunt, “I heard you already. But if I give you any more.. I’ll pass out.” Her mouth said one thing, but her actions did the opposite, as she trailed the blade across her thigh.

As a demonic cultivator, she wasn’t efficient with healing same as spiritual cultivators were. Her force was destruction, not mending. Thus, she had quickly run out of space on her arms; where white lines trailed all the way up to her shoulder. She had then moved the blade across, from her stomach to her hips, then slowly to her thighs and ankles. She was careful not to cut too deep; aware of all body points with bigger veins that could easily drain the person dry.

“Qiu Hun.. I think it’s time soon.” She whispered, but the weapon did not respond. It sucked her blood in even faster than before, leaving her feeling dizzy, “But don’t worry, when I’ll die.. I’ll make sure that you’re not hungry, okay? You’ll be okay.” She caressed the spine of the closed fan, “It must hurt. To always be starving. To never feel like there’s enough in your stomach.” She sighed, “You were made that way.. You’ll always be that way.. You’ll always be insatiable.”

 

‘Yuan. Even if one day you’ll find yourself free of me, deep down you will always be a shallow little slave. Even when you’ll be older, even if you’ll run away from the past.. You’ll never be anything else but what you are today. A starved, broken child.’

 

“ Shizun.” She whispered into nothingness, “Shizun was wise..” Her eyes stared up at the wooden ceiling as she watched the spider slowly comb its way through a spiderweb, “..But I wonder if he knew that the starved child he took under his wing would eat him alive.”

A laugh bubbled out of her, “Shizun.. I wonder if you’re watching. I wonder if you can hear me.. Shizun, do you see what’s happened of me? I got everything I wanted, yet misery plagues me still. I have food, I have clothes, I am warm, I am with my brothers at last.. And yet.. I still want to die.” She laughed harder, not noticing as Qiu Hun sliced deeper into her skin, “What the hell is wrong with me? What do I do, Shizun? I don’t know what to do.. Shizun.. Tell me what to do.. Shizun.. Please.. I don’t know what to do.. This Yuan.. Is an idiot.. An airhead.. She’s so stupid.. She needs Shizun to tell her.. To tell her what to do.. Shizun, please.” 

 

Only silence followed.

 

After all, nobody was listening.

 

 

 

 

 

It was a quiet night. Jiang Tianhe should have gone to bed long ago, but he had been feeling restless lately. Lu-shidi had let him know that he was almost done with the perception seal that they’ll be applying on Shen Yuan’s cultivation base, and Jiang Tianhe had been breaking his head over how he’s going to explain to the sect leader why the previously cultivation-less disciple was suddenly a prodigy of overwhelming magnitude.

However, his thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knock on the door and a creak of the wood. Every night he would set up protective barriers around the Bamboo House, so that he would not be disturbed. Meaning, this could only be..

“A-Die.”

His daughter quietly walked in and without hesitation sat herself down. She rarely called him ‘A-Die’ these days. It was ‘Shizun’ this, and ‘Shizun’ that. Some didn’t even know that the two of them were related. A-Lian preferred it that way. She didn’t want her achievements to be viewed as biased, so she kept her distance and paid proper respect. But for her to suddenly come to him? In the middle of the night? Something must have happened, and Jiang Tianhe felt his worry pick up.

“A-Lian. What’s wrong?” He asked, trying not to sound too panicked. She used to always call him paranoid, especially after her mother died, “It’s late.”

“A-Die.” She sighed; there was a complicated look on her face. The one that did not belong on the expression of a carefree fourteen year old girl.

“A-Yuan has this jar that she really likes. It is filled to the brim with Black-Legged Bicolors. Scary, right? You know, when I saw it for the first time, I argued with her. I told her that it was dangerous to keep them around. To that, she told me that she’s gathered these frogs by hand and has been feeding and breeding them for years. Since she was a rogue before she came to the sect, she carried them in her sleeves, and because they’re carnivores, she often fed them some of her leftovers even if it meant she’d go hungry.”

“At first, Black-Legged Bicolors scared me. I couldn’t really sleep at night when thinking that the jar might shatter, and then I’d have a room filled to the brim with poisonous frogs that could kill a hundred men. But then, every morning, I watched A-Yuan unscrew the lid, coo at those tiny little things, and feed them chicken skewers. She really liked those frogs. I’ve never seen her as happy as when she was taking care of them. Very quickly, my fear vanished. They really.. Were just.. Pets to her. I could tell that she knew what she was doing, and I could tell that these frogs were precious to her.”

Jiang Tianhe carefully listened as his daughter spoke. He didn’t interrupt her once, and instead, tried to paint a picture in his head. Although he was appalled that all this time A-Lian had been living side by side with Black-Legged Bicolors, he kept that opinion to himself (for now) as he knew that this wasn’t about the frogs.

“A-Lian, where are you heading with this?” He asked, and his daughter’s lips slowly stretched into a bittersweet smile.

“Today, I noticed that the jar was gone.”

He had a feeling.

“Did someone steal it?”

“No. I asked A-Yuan, and.. She told me she released them in the pond. She made sure to go far away, so that no disciple would stumble on them.”

Jiang Tianhe felt his mind go quiet. Frogs that Shen Yuan carried with herself everywhere she went, frogs that she’s been feeding every morning and evening, frogs that she apparently convinced A-Lian to keep quiet about. And suddenly, Shen Yuan.. Just got rid of them?

He understood what his daughter was trying to say, but it was far too shocking. Shen Yuan had heart demons, that much was clear. Her spiritual veins were filled to the brim with demonic qi, her energy reeked of resentment, her eyes lacked soul and her actions lacked fear. She never asked for much and she never ate much. During lessons her mind always seemed to be elsewhere. Such a gloomy and dark presence, no matter where she went. He was not a fool. He noticed that even after all this time Shen Yuan was yet to make a friend aside from her brother and A-Lian. That she was being avoided by everyone, that she was given extra chores, that she was even picked on by teachers. He didn’t confront anyone, as he didn’t want to show favoritism, but perhaps.. His indifference had been a mistake. After all, he accepted that child under his wing. Wasn’t she his disciple like the rest? Wasn’t she more than just a victim of demonic experimentation? She had always seemed so independent and capable, that he never thought his interference was necessary.

 

Jiang Tianhe. You are such a fool.

 

“I understand.” He said slowly, and his daughter nodded. However, the tension did not melt, but only seemed to have grown. The two continued to sit in silence, as they thought about what to do next. How to counter the upcoming storm.

The days passed in silence for Jiang Tianhe. Him and Lu-shidi had spoken once more, saying that the seal can be applied during the next health check-up that Shen Yuan had scheduled with the healer (in about one week’s time). They have decided on a story that Shen Yuan’s cultivation had to be suppressed due to a condition, and now that she was healthier, it could be unsealed, however, her health was still weak and she should never get qi transfers from anyone — unless they’re in charge of her care. The story was vague, but should be good enough with both the healer and the scholar backing it up.

It was a normal day like any other. Jiang Tianhe had left the Bamboo house to go out on a stroll and oversee the lessons. However, as he was passing through, he felt his blood go cold at the familiar, nauseating iron scent. In an instant, he sped off towards the source, feeling like his heart would race a mile. The smell was too strong to be normal, too strong to be just a small injury, too strong to be—

“What is going on here?”

His elegant presence had almost cracked from the sight before him. He knew children were cruel, but there must have been a limit. He had never taught his disciples to be so callous. Shen Yuan stood before him with her hair and robes drenched in blood. The blood was soaked through her face and skin, almost making it hard to make out her features, but the creeps in the air were unmistakable — this had to be Shen Yuan. His daughter was standing not too far away — as pale as snow — her mouth covered with her sleeves from the shock. Nobody moved as Jiang Tianhe tried to assess what had happened. There was a wooden bucket (for laundry? washing vegetables?) laying discarded on the ground with the remaining thick dark goo pooling on the floor. Time seemed frozen in place, as Jiang Tianhe was piecing together the situation. Someone flipped a bucket. Filled with blood. Over Shen Yuan.

What does he do first? Does he scold those responsible? Does he make sure that Shen Yuan is alright? Where the hell is the Hall-master who was supposed to be looking after these disciples? Who came up with such a cruel plan?

The decision was made for him, when he heard Shen Yuan take a shaky breath in. It was only now that he noticed that all this time she had been mumbling something under her breath.

 

“..blood..blood..blood..blood..blood..”

 

“A-Yuan!” Jiang Yulian screeched, and that seemed to have snapped things into motion, “You idiots! What the hell is wrong with you all?! How could you do something so cruel?!” She was already on the verge of tears as she ran up to Shen Yuan and began to try and wipe her face; not caring that her robes and sleeves were getting smudged in the process, “A-Yuan, are you okay? Does your head hurt?”

Fuck. Did the bucket hit her fucking head on the way down as well? What a mess. What a terrible mess.

“S-shizun! This was just a joke!” Said one of the disciples.

The others quickly turned on him, “It was his idea! I didn’t want to do it!”

“Yeah, it wasn’t us!”

“Like hell it wasn’t you! You were the one who bought the pig!” The first one defended, his face going whiter and whiter with each second.

“Well, I didn’t kill it though!”

Jiang Tianhe listened to them bicker in silence, until he had enough, “You three — are to kneel in the Discipline Hall until this master will come to punish you. Understood?” He said in an even tone, and watched them squirm like bugs before a predator. He was going to rip them apart for this shit. They might be young masters from rich families, but he was the Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak. His authority on the Peak was absolute. Who the hell did they think they were? To dare to do such a thing in his domain?

“Y-yes, Shizun.”

“Understood, Shizun.”   

Then, Jiang Tianhe turned to look at the spectators. Some were trying to hide their amusement, others were either distraught or neutral. Either way, nobody except for his daughter was trying to help. Not a single, ‘ Are you alright? ’.

Not one. Disappointing.

The fury within him was going to boil over.

“Everyone dismissed.” He ordered, his word just like law, was instantly followed as the space cleared out.

Now, he had to deal with—

“A-Die!” Jiang Yulian cried out in alarm. He had never heard his daughter make such a distressed call before.

In an instant his eyes snapped towards her and he cursed under his breath. He couldn’t tell if Shen Yuan was bleeding from ears or eyes because of all the crimson she was dunked in, but the girl was clearly starting to deviate. Deviate with fucking demonic qi — practically oozing into the air. Thank the Heavens that he had dismissed everyone right on time.

“A-Lian, quickly go and fetch Lu-shidi!” Jiang Tianhe said, but he didn’t watch his daughter leave. He trusted her to run faster than the wind, as he quickly crouched down in front of Shen Yuan and grasped her wrist.

As a scholar, he always craved knowledge. However, his knowledge had never discriminated a field of interest. He had been known to be unorthodox, someone who did not openly hate demons and did not shy away from those afflicted with demonic illnesses. All thanks to his late wife — who had opened his eyes to a simple truth. Spiritual energy and resentful energy were both just that. Energy. Both can harm, both can be used to protect. Each case he learned was fascinating and unique, but Shen Yuan was an incredible exception to everything he had ever seen before. Plainly speaking, she was a human who had been forcibly turned into a demon. She can’t be cured of her “nature”. She could only adapt. But, Jiang Tianhe had known the risks when he took her in, thus, he had prepared himself for a scenario of a crisis.

So, with a deep breath, he grasped the girl’s wrist (why did her skin feel uneven and raw beneath his hold? he couldn’t tell the cause because of the blood on her! whatever! there was no time for this!) and began to transfer her demonic qi. At first, the energy tried to lash out at him, as if expecting for it to be incompatible (expecting for it to be of contradicting nature, expecting for it to hurt, expecting for it to be the opposing side), however, the moment it registered that what it was being fed was its “own kind”, he felt his stream of qi get through. Shen Yuan’s previously tight and closed up spiritual veins began to open up for him — trusting him to help — as he closed his eyes in concentration trying to find the source. Somewhere near the heart. Must be.

“Jiang-shixiong! Be careful!” He heard someone’s voice from behind, but it seemed too far away. And right now, his priority was to save Shen Yuan’s life. He imagined the grief that would strike his daughter and the heartbreak that would hover over Shen Jiu. He didn’t have the privilege of failure.

“If you don’t protect yourself — !” He tuned out the voice, and felt himself completely dissolve into the process of healing. He opened up one blockage after another, he smoothed out the strain near Shen Yuan’s joints, he followed further through, but just as he was about to reach her heart.

 

“—ARGH!”

 

He pulled away like he was stabbed. Because, that was exactly what it had felt like. Suddenly, the energy that had let him in, decided to push him as far away as possible, all the way out. He felt sharp, ice-cold pain shoot through his arm up his shoulder, right into his neck. He.. He had severely underestimated Shen Yuan’s heart demons. And their determination to cling to her and make her miserable.

“Jiang-shixiong!”

And before any of them could react, the deviating little girl had suddenly dashed out of the room down the hallway, leaving a bloodied trail behind. Worst of all? Crying for her Shizun. Begging for Shizun’s help. Asking him where he was.

 

Jiang Tianhe knew that he was not the Shizun her lost mind was looking for.

 

Notes:

This chapter both feels too long and too short, idk. Next chapter might take a while though! I am not fully done writing it, and I have 2 deadlines coming up in 2 days. I actually just finished one of the assignments and it is currently.. 4am for me. And then i was like, ‘hey athena, why not also post a fic chapter? might as well’ so here we are.

I hope that you all enjoyed! Honestly, I have such grand plans for this fic but idk how far to take it. I could wrap up the story in 5 chapters or 50 and to choose is VERY HARD man

If you enjoyed plz leave a kudo or a comment! Means everything to me & keeps me motivated! Thanks!!! 💗