Chapter 1: there was nowhere for me to stay
Notes:
title from "renegade" by big red machine & taylor swift!!
additional lyrics from "i don't smoke" by mitski, and "funeral" by pheobe bridgers
TW for child abuse. nothing crazy but it does happenstarting chapter notes will usually just contain any tws, and info for song lyrics. everything else will be at the bottom!! hope u enjoy :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason knows it’s never a good thing when your parents ask to talk to you. Especially when it’s over text and they use a period. Even more especially after you just had the biggest blowout fight of your life just a few days beforehand.
But sometimes, things like that slip his mind.
On the ride home from a hangout, Jason thinks about what his punishment might be this time. Piper talks, going between talking to him and talking to her driver. Jason tries to nod along to what she’s saying, but Piper doesn’t really care whether or not he’s listening. Jason thinks she just talks into the silence sometimes just so she doesn’t bottle up all her words.
Jason supposes it’s healthy. He does feel a little bad though, and makes a mental promise to ask her first thing tomorrow morning how she’s feeling.
He might get his phone taken again, which for starters, doesn’t really bother him. His parents think it does, but he can live without the screen for a few days. Most times, they end up giving it back anyway after four or five days.
Or he could get his door taken off. They’d done that once after he’d lied to them about where he was after school. He was supposed to be at practice, but Coach Hedge had canceled so Jason had taken advantage of the time off to stop at the gas station and buy some junk he knew he shouldn’t have eaten. The door privileges were upsetting, but they haven’t done that in a few years so he thinks he’s safe for that one.
He might lose dinner for a few nights too. His step-mom wasn’t above that. It wouldn’t be good for him seeing as summer training started soon if he had to skip meals but…you never know with his parents.
Jason also knows that most kids don’t sit in their own anxiety wondering what odd punishment they might get.
The drive from Piper’s place to his house was short, unfortunately, which meant in a few minutes he’d be doomed to sit on the couch and get verbally berated until his father got bored. Jason sighs, clasping his hands in his lap as he looks over to Piper.
She’s still talking animatedly, hands waving everywhere. Through the mirror, Jason can see her driver smile at her. It was like everyone in Piper’s life loved her.
“Pipes,” he says, cutting off her rant. Piper perks up, looking over to him, giving him her immediate attention. No matter how long Jason has been friends with her, he still feels surprised every time she gives him her full undivided attention. “So, um, I kind of pissed off my dad. So, if I don’t answer any texts you know why.”
She sighs, rolling her eyes. “The hell did you do this time?”
“Not much,” That was a lie, “I just said some things he didn’t like.”
Piper looks at him like she knows he’s lying, and she probably does. She had this ability to see through him really easily. But she nodded, and gave a light clap to his shoulder. “Whatever it is, if you need a place to stay…my house is on the table.”
A blush makes its way onto his cheeks. Reasonably, it shouldn’t be embarrassing that his parents have kicked him out before and he’s been forced to stay the night at Piper’s, but it still is. It makes him wonder if that punishment’s going to be on the table too.
Jason was raised under the impression that showing any amount of reliance on someone else is a weakness, or showing that you’re upset or angry is a weakness. That was how his father’s side of the family worked. He guesses they knew he’d find a place to stay, and weren’t afraid whatsoever of leaving him in the cold.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that again,” he mutters as they pull up outside his house. Piper blows him a kiss goodbye, before returning to talk to her driver. He says “thank you!” as he closes the door, before trudging his way down the driveway.
One thing about his father, he needed to have the largest house with the largest walkway to get up there. It usually took Jason a good two or three minutes to get to the house. Most times Piper’s driver didn’t have a problem getting him up there, but he seemed to sense that Jason wanted more time between him and the front door.
When he does get there, he cracks it open as quietly as possible. Maybe, they’d forgotten.
Jason’s pulling off his bag when his step-mother calls for him.
“Jason!” her nasally voice travels down the hall, getting closer until she’s stepped into the grand foyer. He looks up at her from his hunched position. She frowns at him as he kicks off his converse, but only sighs and beckons for him to follow her.
Reluctantly, he does, feeling a sense of dread pool in his gut. There’s an emptiness to the house that feels strange. Usually, he’ll hear the chefs in the kitchen, or the maids scurrying around. Not today though. Either they got the sense Jason was about to get berated and had grown quiet in anticipation, or his father let them off.
Jason really hopes it was the latter. He doubts it though. His father isn’t one to waste money like that.
When they enter the living room, his father is already sitting on one of the large white couches, opposite to a single gray armchair. They’d moved the furniture around so it was specifically like this. God, they were pretentious.
Jason, silently, takes his seat. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket, probably a tiktok or something that Piper had sent him. The noise was so quiet he’d thought it’d go undetected, but he was wrong. His step-mother’s holding her manicured hand out, and seconds later Jason’s dropping his phone into her hand with a sigh.
She drops it onto the coffee table face down, before sitting next to his father.
Apparently they were trying this interrogation tactic. His father’s hands are clasped, elbows perched on his knees as he leans forward. There’s a frown on his wrinkled face, more gray hairs at his hairline than Jason could count.
His step-mother on the other hand, is laid back, one arm on the back of the couch, the other resting on her thigh. Her legs were crossed, pointed black high heels dangling just a few inches away from the glass coffee table.
The hell was this? Good cop, bad cop?
Jason hoped it wasn’t. Last time they tried it was frankly rather embarrassing seeing as his father couldn’t hold his temper long enough to let his step-mother speak.
He knows he should have more regard for his parent’s anger, he should probably be more afraid. Well, he is afraid. Afraid of the consequences most of the time, afraid of how blind anger can be. But after years of it, you kind of grow used to it.
“Jason,” his father starts, his tone deep and serious. It’s rumbling, like a storm, almost, “Your mother and I wanted to talk to you about your recent behavior.”
Step-mother, Jason wants to correct. She would never feel like a mother to him, more like a micro-manager. His actual mother, even though she sucked, was still his mother.
“Okay,” he says slowly, in a way he knows pisses off his father.
His step-mother sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’ve been out of control,” his father states, no room for argument. There’s movement on his side. His step-mother was always the first to jump to his defense if she sensed that his father was getting a little too heated.
She was his “legacy” after all. After Thalia left, she kind of put Jason on a pedestal. To anyone who didn’t know them too long, Jason was an only child. She signed him up for sports like football or baseball. She’s the one who hired his private tutors. She’s the one who made sure his permission slips got signed and his appointments made
He should be grateful, but he knows her ulterior motive. Her motive is that someday in the future, when his father leaves her or dies, Jason will take care of her and give her the same luxury that she once had.
She doesn’t say anything this time, her lips set in a firm line. Jason wonders when she would.
“This rebel behavior has to stop,” his father sighs, “I will not have our family reputation tarnished because of your stupidity. Sneaking out? Attending parties? Being disrespectful? I could go on, Jason. Your attitude recently has been the worst of it. We are your parents, and it is due time you realize that.”
“ Your reputation was trashed when mom killed someone,” Jason points out, “Nobody cares about what I do.”
His father’s face turns red, and his fingers clench. “This is what I mean, Jason. You’re acting like a brat, and I did not raise you that way–”
“You didn’t raise me at all,” Jason adds, “Thalia did.”
Jason knew that was the one name, other than his mother’s, that he wasn’t supposed to mention. Thalia, his wayward sister that fled to Texas with her best friend the moment she turned fourteen. Years fighting their father, their step-mother. Now, nine years later, she was happy. Jason envies her a little bit.
His father’s fist slams down on the table. “If you don’t watch your mouth, Jason. You are under my roof, you will listen and obey!”
He raises a single eyebrow before looking to his step-mother. “Are we done yet?”
Her eyes watch him carefully. Usually, this was the point she steps in. It looked like it pained her not too, but she only looked to the side. Jason shook his head and swiped his phone off the coffee table.
He knew he was being stupid and rude, but he didn’t care. This is how he’s been acting for the past year, and his father had nobody to thank but himself. Jason was finishing his junior year; he didn’t need this bullshit anymore.
Jason’s moving to leave, but a hand clamps around his wrist. Red nails dig into his skin, a silent warning, as his father rounds the couch. His stepmother’s hand retreats to her lap.
Then, Jason’s father is in front of him, one meaty finger pointing in his face. “Don’t act smart with me, boy.”
“Why?” he asks, tilting his head, “Are you jealous?”
He sees the anger build on his father's face, red and hot white. It’s like he could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. The thought makes him laugh internally, a small smirk breaking out on his face. Slowly, Jason pushes down his fathers hand. He returns it to his father's side and gives it a gentle pat as if to say there, there.
A younger, more responsible, more afraid, version of himself is yelling at him. Cursing him for his stupidity. Two years ago, Jason would’ve sighed and seen it coming. Four years ago, he would’ve smacked himself for doing this. Six years ago, he wouldn’t have even imagined the possibility.
He supposed Piper was a bad influence, always acting out, always getting into some kind of trouble, but she had a reason. It was the only way she could get her dad to bother to look at her sometimes. Jason’s reason? Well, he didn’t really have one.
Maybe it was just a mix of everything that had happened in his life. His troublesome childhood with his mom, before she fucked up and got herself and someone else killed in a drunk driving accident and left Thalia and him to the mercy of their father. Maybe it was years of being verbally, and sometimes physically, berated by his father. Years of being told by his screwed up step-mom that he had to be perfect. That he couldn’t let anybody down. That he had to be just like his father.
Maybe Jason was just tired of it.
Maybe Jason just wanted to see what it was like to live the life of a normal teenager.
Maybe Piper had given that to him, and he’d gotten too risky and too selfish.
That was why he was acting out. That’s why his words were nasty and smart towards his parents. Why he kept sneaking out his window to go to parties, and returning loudly and drunkenly through the front door. Why he let his grades slip down to B’s. Why his coach kicked him out of practice for being overly aggressive.
He could easily blame that all on his dad though. Which led him to this.
It’s no surprise when his father’s hand rises up just as quickly. His cold, golden, ring glints under the harsh white lights, and Jason thinks “that’s gonna hurt.”
And it does.
When it collides with his cheek, he feels the bite of the metal against his skin. Feels the way it splits his face. It stings, and then the force of the rest of the slap comes with it. His father was a big man, bigger than him, and his slap sends Jason sprawling.
His back hits the wall, head snapping back against the plaster. There’s an ache in the back of his head, and he blearily opens his eyes to see his father’s hulking and shaking figure. His stepmother’s startled gasp rings in his ears, as he tries to regain his bearings.
“What the hell?” he murmurs, against his better judgement. Very quickly, his world is being shifted and moved again as his father grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him upwards. Everything shifts, fast and blurry, and for a moment Jason fears he might puke down his father’s chest.
That certainly wouldn’t be good.
His father speaks quietly, sternly, and there’s an aura of absolute danger in his voice. “You will not disrespect me in this house. I am your father, I own you. Act like i
In his confused, likely concussed state, Jason spits, “I fucking hate you.”
He’s then dropped to the floor again, head banging against the floorboards. His father steps over him, cuffing his sleeves. From a couple feet away, he announces, “Pack your bags. I’m done with you.”
Seems like he’s going out for the temporary kicked out punishment. Jason sits up, his head swimming as he leans against the arm of the couch. There’s blood, presumably from his cheek, that smears on the white fabric.
There’s the click of heeled footsteps, before his step mother cautiously kneels down beside him. She takes his face in her manicured grip, and forces him to look at her. With the way she’s holding him, he assumes she’s making an attempt to be motherly. But, her hold is much too firm and much too cold to be so. If anything, it feels sterile.
Her brown gaze pins him, and she wipes at the blood slowly oozing from his cheek.
“You know, you’re a major fuck up after this, right?”
Wow, way to go.
“Mhm,” he hums, squinting at her. He thinks one of his contacts must’ve fallen out somehow or gotten loose because half of her face is really blurry. Normally, she’ll say something like this. Something inherently cruel and disgusting, then put on this sickeningly sweet smile and say, “But I know how to fix it!” or “I’ll take care of things.”
She doesn’t this time though. Instead, she takes a rough grip on his arms and hoists him up with more strength her small frame should possess. Together, they half stumble half stride to his bedroom where she deposits him on his bed.
For a moment, as he groans into the fabric of his pillow, he swears he sees something soften in her eyes. She gently pats at his head, her tight, red-lipped grin turning into a smaller smile.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she sighs, and in his state, he can barely comprehend what she means, “Too bad though. You had wonderful potential.”
And with a kiss to his throbbing temple, she’s off and closing his door much too harshly.
The last thing Jason acknowledges before he drifts off is that he has to pack.
if you need to be mean, be mean to me
i can take it and put it inside of me
if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room
you can lean on my arm
as you break my heart
When he wakes up again, it’s to the sight of his parents in the doorway.
His father's anger has returned, and he’s seemingly realized that Jason doesn’t deserve to sleep much longer than a couple hours. He stands just a couple feet past the door; arms crossed over his broad chest. His stepmother stands a couple feet behind him, a twisted frown on her face.
There’s a dull ache in the back of his head, almost more unbearable than the prior throbbing, as he forces himself to sit up.
“You haven’t packed,” his father mused, taking in the state of his room.
Jason squints, rubbing at his eyes. It makes his contacts burn a little. “Yeah well, after you likely concussed me, it wasn’t the first thing on my mind.”
His father scowls at him, his face tightening. “Keep up the humor, boy. Things won’t be so funny soon.”
“Uh-huh,” Jason sighs, running a hand down his face. “Why are you standing here? Can I sleep?”
His father turns and rummages through his closet, pulling out his two navy blue suitcases that hadn’t been used in years. Jason blinks. How long was his father planning on kicking him out? Shit, he’d better tell Piper.
“You’re moving. To Texas. With your sister,” his father announces, an evil sly grin crawling on his face. “Your plane leaves tomorrow so…like I said, start packing.”
It takes a minute for the information to log in Jason’s brain. It stutters and bounces around in there for a moment.
Texas. Thalia. Moving.
Everything would be changing.
“What?” he chokes, stumbling to stand. “Y-You can’t just do that! I start senior year next month—I’m the quarterback! I can’t just uproot everything—“
His father grabs his chin, sending a spark of pain through his skull. “Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you decided to become a delinquent,” he lets go of Jason’s face, tossing him lightly back onto the bed, “Besides, you always tell us how you like Thalia so much more than us. I figured you’d be happy about this.”
Jason stutters, grasping at his bedding covers. “I can’t just leave,” he shouts, “My whole life is here!”
His father hums, turning around and heading for the door. “Well, maybe I’ll let you return if you learn your lesson. Flight, tomorrow, pack.”
Then they leave, his step-mother fluttering behind him with no more than a glance in his direction.
What the actual hell?
Jason stands, stumbling to his feet. He finds himself in front of his mirror, haphazardly taped to the back of his door. His cheek is beginning to swell, a thin but long slice across his right cheekbone. His head showed no outer damage, but if he moved too fast the world spun a little.
He turned around, taking in the state of his room, and the two navy blue suitcases. He swallowed thickly. He couldn’t just move . His whole life was here, football was here, all his scouts were here, all his friends were here, his mothers grave was here. In only a couple weeks, Jason would be going into his senior year. This was possibly the worst time for his father to try and uproot him.
Jason’s fingers grip into the mirror, and before he can even think, he’s ripping it off the back of his door and flinging it across the room. It bounces on the floor before hitting the wall, shards of glass clattering to the floor. Jason wants to rip more, wants to throw more. But it only reminds him of his father, and that’s exactly the kind of man he doesn’t want to be.
Instead, he digs his phone out of his back pocket. It was six o’clock now, meaning his parents had given him the luxury of sleeping for an hour and a half before demanding he pack again. He unlocks his phone, opening his contacts and contemplating who to contact.
His thumb hovers over Piper’s number, and he sees her beaming contact photo looking up at him. He scrolls a little, eyes catching on Reyna. She was more likely to have a reasonable reaction to all of this. But, even then, Jason isn’t sure if he could handle that right now.
Finally, he finds Thalia’s contact. She was the most likely to give him a straightforward answer. If this was actually happening.
The phone rings only once before she picks up. Her tired sigh filters through the speaker, and he can hear distant chatter in the background. “So,” she muses, “He told you.”
Jason pauses, settling down on the edge of his bed. “What do you mean? You knew?”
Thalia goes quiet for a moment, seemingly sensing her error. She shifts, and says, “Kind of. He proposed the idea to me—not like I had a choice whether or not it went through. He said that if your attitude changed, he’d keep you home. Guess you screwed up big time, huh?”
Jason curses, grabbing at his hair. “If I’d known my entire future would be on the line I might’ve behaved better!”
That earns him a laugh, a broken snort of a sound. It was one thing their stepmother, Hera, always picked on Thalia about. She never liked his sister much, she found her unappealing. He didn’t get the difference between him and Thalia, but she treated Jason like he was made of gold and Thalia like she was made of bronze. Still, Thalia was the first-born and rightful heir, so she was forced to treat her as such. When Thalia flaked off though, he’s sure it made no difference to Hera. If anything, she must’ve been glad.
“I mean,” Thalia’s voice emerges crackly through the speaker. Her tone is soft, like she was approaching a cowering animal. “Is it really that bad? I haven’t seen you in years. Maybe…maybe this is for the better?”
He could see why she’d think that. And, for some things, it truly would be for the better. He wouldn’t have all this pressure on him to be great. He wouldn’t have to worry about his father’s reputation. He could just live. There’s no doubt in his mind that Thalia would let him do all those rebellious teenage things he’d been attempting to do, considering she used to do them all herself.
But, he doesn’t want that life in Texas. He wants it here, with Piper and Reyna.
“My whole life is going to change,” He whispers, “When it matters most. Don’t you see the issue?”
“Well there isn’t anything you can do about it now.”
And he supposed that was true.
“I hate this. All of it.”
Thalia laughs again, and he hears the clink of ice in a cup. “Oh all that teenage angst is going to be nice to deal with. Dad really chose the perfect time to send you off to me, huh?”
He wants to tell her to shut up, but her stupid joke made a small smile worm its way onto his face. So instead, he just lets out a long-suffering sigh and zips open one of the suitcases.
---
The next morning, he’s standing outside of his father’s house, and packing his suitcases into his stepmother’s porsche. She stands, leaning against the driver’s seat and watches him lug the suitcases into the trunk. His father had decided not to send him off, apparently too pissed off with him to care.
It’s only moments before Piper’s car pulled up, without her usual driver, and she clambers out of it. Following her in long, fast, strides is Reyna with matching faces of distress.
“You’re leaving?” Piper shouts, sprinting up the long walkway. “What the fuck, Jason?”
He walks over to meet her, not missing the scoff his stepmother gives. She’d liked Piper once. Back when she listened, when she was sweet and polite. Piper gave him rides to and from school, picked him up after football practice, had study sessions with him. Hera had absolutely adored Piper. She was the daughter that Thalia could never be for her, and Piper had preened under the affection. But, all that stopped when she helped Jason sneak out one night, and both of them had gotten caught.
Jason knows Piper tried not to be disappointed over it--she knew Hera could be a bitch--but he also knows Hera had given her more positive attention than her own parents had.
He catches her as she flings herself at him, wrapping him up in a hug that smells like cherries and vanilla. Her long hair tickles his face and she gives him a long firm squeeze as Reyna appears next to her. Jason gently sets her down, her swirling blue-green eyes staring up at him with conflicting emotions. Reyna’s face is set hard. The only way he can tell she’s upset is the nervous way she toys with her braid.
Reyna was always like that, trying to hide her true feelings even from the people who cared about her most. In her mind, it was like she could shoulder everyone else's burdens and fight them all single-handedly. And, she did. Reyna rarely broke under the pressure, rarely let her stoic mask slip. Except when she was around Jason and Piper that is. She's one his father had approved of, even though her background was questionable, because she had an ambition that his own kids didn't have.
“You’re going with Thalia?” Reyna asks, her voice quiet. Jason nods, glancing back at the car. Reyna and Piper were his best friends, and easily the two people he was going to miss most.
“Yeah. I don’t know for how long—I’ll keep in touch, I promise. The time zone difference is only two hours.”
Piper takes his hand, interlocking their fingers, and giving it a firm squeeze. “It could be worse,” she says, a hint of a smile on her face, “You could be sent to a wilderness school.”
“Hey now,” he chuckles, “Don’t give them ideas.”
The three of them laugh at his misery, Reyna pressing a well-meaning punch to his arm. It’s weaker than her usual ones. Even she doesn’t have the energy to really make fun of him. After a few seconds, he takes them both in his arms. With his nose buried in their hair, he murmurs, “I’m really going to miss you guys.”
Piper laughs wetly against his neck, gently rubbing his back. Reyna nods, never big on physical affection, but allowing it this time. Her nose presses to his collarbone, head dipped. "Stop talking like you're never going to see us again. You're so dramatic," she scolds, but Jason can hear the break in her voice. Instead, he just holds her a little tighter.
“At least you can go to as many parties as you want now,” Piper points out, giving him a devious smile, “You better tell me about all of them. I demand a daily recap every night.”
“Oh, for sure,” Jason hums, amusement dripping from his tone, “Like my life is going to be very entertaining and special.”
“It could be!”
Reyna extracts herself from their hold, her eyes searching his face. Piper was his best friend, yes, but Reyna was his oldest friend. Her sister, Hylla, had been friends with Thalia and that was how they’d met. Only eight-years-old, both being forced onto their way-ward older sisters. Reyna may not have the same goals as him, she may not enjoy the thrill of a party or rush of a football game like him and Piper do, but she understands him.
Reyna was the one who sat on facetime with him till the early morning hours as he crammed his SAT studying. She was the one who picked him up coffees in the morning, she was the one who held a poster with his name on it and shyly wore his jersey in the stands at his football games while Piper cheered from the sidelines.
“You’re going to be okay,” she says softly, “Wherever you go, whatever happens…they’ll love you.”
Behind them, his stepmother hums and mimes tapping her nonexistent watch. Rolling his eyes, Jason steps away. Piper frowns at him and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek. Reyna only gently pats his arm. Neither of them had mentioned the pink slice on his cheekbone, which he was grateful about. It wasn't the worst injury he'd shown up with, but it was the first time in a long time.
“C’mon,” Reyna says, taking Piper’s arm, “It’s time we go.”
They both head back to the car, not without sparing Jason a couple of glances as they climb in. Piper’s not the best driver, and nearly hits their mailbox on the way out. Jason kind of wishes she had.
He turns back to his stepmother who’d already sat down in the driver's seat. When he climbs into the passenger seat, her cool eyes find his in the reflection of the mirror, peering over the edge of her ray bans. She backs out from the driveway, and Jason can vaguely see his father's hulking form in the dining room window. It makes something twist and churn in his gut uneasily.
He hadn't even bothered to give him a proper goodbye. It upsets Jason more than he thought it would.
His hands curl in, fingers pressed together tightly, nails imbedded into the flesh of his palms. Jason watches his knuckles slowly begin to turn white, blood rushing to his fingertips.
"I'm going to talk to your father," his stepmother says softly, her voice low and almost conspiratorial, "I think this punishment is ridiculous, but he was set in his ways. Undoubtedly, your life is here. What matters to you is here," she drops off for a moment, hitting the turn signal with her pinky. She spares a glance at him, lips twisted downward.
It was very rare that she acted like a normal human. With empathy and other emotions. She tried to pretend like she was capable of them, but Jason knew that it just wasn't true. She wanted to be the PTO mom, she wanted to be one with the neighborhood community, she wanted to be the cool mom. Jason once thought she could've been, if she could just relax for once in her life and stop trying to control everything.
She was less like a stepmom and more like a micro-manager.
There was the rare moment where she truly did something good. Most of them being when she managed to narrowly pull Jason out of trouble. This was the first time she hadn't succeeded, and yet she was still trying.
Deep down, he knows that she's really only doing it for her own personal gain. When Jason isn't miserable, or being punished, he's the ideal step-son to her. He's the kid she can brag about with the other community moms, he's the one she can post on her social medias and have people fawn over him in the comments, he's the one that she thinks will actually make a name for himself.
"Hopefully," she sighs, tapping her nails along the steering wheel, "I can get you back home by Christmas. It'll be difficult to go for a new school and then come back home but...don't settle there, okay?"
Jason gives her a noncommittal hum and unfurls his fingers. In their absence are crescent-shaped marks indented into his palms
i have a friend i call
when i've bored myself to tears
and we talk until we think we might kill ourselves
but then we laugh until it disappears
One thing about changing time zones, is that you don't really realize when you change time zones.
At some point on the plane ride, Jason's clock had changed to two hours ahead. Then, before he knew it, his plane was landing. Jason had been on countless plane rides before, normally accompanied by his parents, or back when he was young, Thalia. Normally they'd all been business trips his father needed to make that his stepmother insisted they turn into vacations.
He'd been to places like Rome, or New York, or even Louisianna. Never Texas.
The airport was crowded, and massive. George Bush Intercontinental Airport. Jason had to literally shove his way to get through the crowds to find his luggage. His biggest concern though, was how the hell he was going to find Thalia.
Well, it turns out he didn't have to worry about it too much.
As soon as he made his way to the waiting area, he saw the signs.
Across the room there was a giant white sign with his name written on it in big sky-blue colored bubble letters. Alongside that is a fat, enlarged, picture of his face. Or, at least, his face sixteen years ago when he was one. Immediately, a smile fought it's way onto his face. Leave it to Thalia.
"Jason!" Thalia's voice calls, spotting him admis the crowd. When his eyes meet hers, it's like two identical pairs staring back at each other. Her pale skin, littered with a constellation of freckles that his wasn't. Her jet-black hair, punky and streaked with electric blue. Before Jason can think, he sprints after her, dragging his suitcases behind him.
His chest meets hers, the pricks of the steel on her leather jacket digging into his skin. She laughs against his shoulder, slapping his shoulder good-naturedly. When she pulls back, she's grinning at him. It makes him feel safe for the first time in a while. She's shorter than him, by about a whole foot, but probably could take him down just as easily. Jason takes the moment to look at her, drink in every feature he might've missed over a blurry facetime call.
Her body is littered in tattoo's, some sneaking past the collar of her shirt and up the back of her neck. She wore a ripped nirvana shirt, her leather studded jacket on top. She had black denim shorts that showed a variety of her leg tattoos as well and down to her shiny silver doc martens. Her ears were a variety of clinking silver jewelry, and her makeup was a blend of black, purple, and blue hues.
"I missed your stupid face," she hums, patting his cheek. Her thumb pauses over his scar, caught up on his cheekbone, and her grin melts into a frown. "I just wish it hadn't taken this long for you to get down here."
"I would've visited if I could," he says shyly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Dad was pretty strict about that."
She waves her hand, because she understands best, and introduces her to the two people beside her. Jason has a bleary memory of one, but not the other. By context, he can assume that the boy, is Luke. Thalia's best friend for who knows how many years. His hair is an ashen blonde, and his eyes are a muted blue. He has a gleaming tan, and a baseball cap shoved over his head, presumably to draw less attention to the jagged scar crossing his eye.
At her other side is another woman, with a rich brown skin tone, and a long dark braid across her shoulder. In a way, she reminds him of Reyna. She holds a slight smile, as she holds the picture of his fat baby head carefully, like it was something to be cautious of. "This is Luke, and Zoë. They work with me at the parlor, and they're my friends so--I guess you better get used to them."
Jason raises a skeptical eyebrow. Thalia raises one back at him, a metal hoop glinting under the airport lights. "Seems like I'm not being given much of a choice."
"You're not," Zoë says, blunt and short, "Deal with it."
Yeah, he could see how she and Thalia got along.
Luke claps a hand down on his shoulder. They're roughly the same height, but Jason has more thick muscle built up. "Nice to have another guy around," he jokes, nudging Thalia's studded shoulder, "I remember when all you could do was drool."
On the car ride home, Jason learns more about his sister. Things that he hadn't thought of to ask, and she hadn't bothered to tell him.
Thalia works at a tattoo parlor, that much he knew, and she met Zoë through a particularly difficult tattoo she asked for. Zoë worked at the butcher shop down the road with her aunt, and often times provides Thalia with fresh cuts of meat. Luke has been Thalia's best friend for years and works at the parlor with Thalia. He claims it's just his side job though, his real passion, is motorcycles. Then he leans over the seat and offers Jason a free motorcyle ride whenever he may need it, to which Jason just laughs awkwardly. That's where he also learns that Thalia doesn't have a car, but instead solely drives a motorcycle.
It makes him think of school functions, football practices, dances, just getting around in general. Thalia sends him a sheepish look.
They fill the silence of the car ride back to Thalia's apartment with ease. There's constant bickering, jabbing, shouting. They drown out the car stereo, and Jason just sits and endures it all. He plasters on a polite smile and nods, already feeling tense and awkward. Don't get him wrong, he was glad his sister had found her place with people down in Texas, but he still couldn't quite grasp the fact that these people were going to become his people.
It was very different from Piper and Reyna. They were loud, constantly swearing, jabbing each other in the ribs, all loud laughter and snorts. Not many people back in California were so unashamedly themselves--or they were, but they kept it behind closed doors.
When they pull up outside of her small townhouse apartment, Jason can't wait to get out of the car. They pull up to the beige plaster and brick. The actual house resides above the garage, buy they remain in the driveway. He takes a deep breath, wrinkling his nose at the heavy humid air. Jason pulls his suitcases out of the trunk and follows the trio inside and up the stairs to the reminder of the house.
Thalia's apartment is...to be expected. She has nice, polished floors, with crooked picture frames hanging from rusty nails on the walls. Because, well, Thalia couldn't have anything stay nice. The entry way leads into the shared living room and kitchen area. She has two black leather couches, with a grey plush rug. She has her TV propped up on a nice glass coffee table, but hanging above the TV is a pair of real antlers.
She always had a twisted sense of decor.
The kitchen is polished marble, and the fridge is decorated with stupid magnets that represent different locations that hold up polaroids. In the far-right corner, he spots a picture of him and Thalia from when they were little, before their father had intervened. He can tell because their clothes are tattered and dirty, and there's empty beer cans in the corner.
Not exactly the kind of picture he'd want up on his fridge, that's for sure.
"Bathrooms off the living room, and my rooms off the kitchen," Thalia explains, "it's the room with the balcony. Meanwhile, you have the upstairs to yourself."
Jason blinks a couple of times. All to himself? His room at home was large yes, but it was on the third floor with the rest of the guest rooms. The second floor was reserved for his parents, and the first floor for the staff and common areas.
He follows her up the steps, emerging into the upstairs. It's just one wide room. It has a large bay window that overlooks the street, with two of the panes opening outwards. The room is relatively unfurnished. There's a queen-sized bed in the center of the wall facing the window, and a white dresser pressed up against the wall the stairs were against. On the far wall, there's an empty closet.
"It's huge," Jason murmurs, stepping into the room. Not bigger than his room at home, but bigger than he'd expected. He places his suitcases near his bed and sits down on the edge, feeling the navy cover dip under his weight. Thalia follows him, unaccompanied by her friends. She gently sits beside him, feet dangling an inch or two above the ground.
"I felt as though you deserved it, considering the circumstances and all. We can go shopping for more stuff this week--I wasn't sure how much you'd be bringing with you and Dad sent me money."
Thalia, even though she was rowdy and careless, was still incredibly compassionate. Jason realizes that she didn't have much of a choice in this situation either. No matter how much you miss your siblings, you don't want them randomly forced into your life one afternoon, and he gets that. Thalia was just as unprepared for him as he was for her.
Quickly, Jason encompasses her in a hug. One that's tight, and suffocating. He buries his face in her shoulder, pressing his nose to the smooth skin of her collarbone. She smells like some cheap perfume, and old spice. It's such an odd combination, and absolutely Thalia, that it makes him laugh. She hugs him back just as fiercely and runs her hands down his back.
"Thank you," he whispers, "For being here to take care of me."
He can feel Thalia's grin in his hair, her fingers digging into his arms, pressing white fingerprints into pale skin. She presses a kiss to the crown of his head and says, "Always. It's my job."
Jason's fingers curl into the fabric of her jacket. "No," he says, pulling back, "it really isn't. I screwed myself over and somehow pulled you into it."
Thalia frowns, shrugging a little and staring at the floor. She pauses for a moment, thinking, considering. Jason thinks she might actually start to blame him for a second, but instead she shoves him down on the bed and flops down beside him. They both stare up at the popcorn ceiling, fingers intertwined between them. Thalia's hand is small, but secure in his.
His sister sucks in a big breath, like she was preparing herself for something.
"No matter how old you get--or, what you do--you're my brother. You're always going to be my brother and I'll be here for you. Don't forget that," she whispers into the quiet air, and turns her head. He turns his too, letting their eyes meet. Thalia was like a hurricane, wild and unrestrained, until you get to her center and meet the eye of the storm. That softer, gentler, side. The endearing side that everyone learns to love but has always belonged to Jason.
"I'm glad I have you back," he hums, his throat tight, "The house is cold without you."
Thalia grins, her nose scrunching up and she taps her fingers along the back of his hand. "Well, lucky for you, it's pretty damn hot down here."
They both laugh, heads tilted back towards the covers, as sweat begins to shine on their foreheads. She wasn't kidding, Texas heat was bad. He was going to have to buy an AC or something, cause this room was rapidly getting hotter and hotter.
Suddenly, Thalia shoots up. Her head whips around to him, and she begins to tug at his clothes.
"Woah--woah, what's wrong?"
There's excitement gleaming in her eyes, as she begins to pull him down the stairs. At the kitchen island, Zoë and Luke are cutting up watermelon like they lived here. Thalia pays them no mind, as she pulls Jason down the second flight of sweltering stairs to a stray door beside the front door. She turns to him, still grinning like a maniac, and instructs him to close his eyes.
Jason stares at her for a long moment, and blinks, before sighing and doing as told. He hears the creak of the door opening, and the hot oppressive heat inside, before she guides him down the rickety wooden steps, and shuffles around a little. Then, she has him hold out his palm, and the moment he does, she drops something in the palm of his hand. It's cold, and small, and when Jason curls his fingers around it he feels ridges.
A key.
"Open your eyes."
And when he does, he comes face to face with a beat-up red truck.
He blinks once, twice, and then a third time before turning to Thalia who was poorly containing her glee. She does some weak jazz hands and asks, "Do you like it?"
"It's for me?" he asks stupidly, pointing at himself. The key rests in his open palm still, looped to a singular key ring, presumably so Jason could attach other things to it. Thalia nods, biting into her lip. Her glee is slowly draining into a more hesitant excitement. Jason looks back to the car. It was nothing like anything he'd ever seen before, none of the sleek black cars his parents loved to drive and flaunt. It wasn't even like Piper's white range rover that she'd scratched up by nearly crashing it a bunch.
It was literally a piece of junk.
But it was his piece of junk.
The red paint was chipping and scratched along the bottom, mud and dirt etched into the car. There's a thin crack in one of the lights, but other than that, everything seems to function. Jason presses the unlock button on the key and slips into the driver's seat. Thalia comes up to the window, lips pressed together in a small white line as Jason runs his hands over the steering wheel.
"It's great, Thals, thank you," he finally says, content with his beat up car. It was very...Texan.
"I don't like cars," she admits, peering inside, "But I figured you can't really get around on my motorcycle and you're bound to want to drive with friends so...Luke and I found this little mechanic shop and offered a good price for one of their spare cars. It's a piece of shit, but it functions."
He presses on the horn, effectively startling her and making himself laugh.
"No, really, it was super nice of you to do this for me. I truly do appreciate it," he assures her. It would take getting used to, sure, but he was a fairly good driver. Besides, people in Texas drove very differently from people in California. It's a good car to start out with, especially since Hera seems insistent that this is only a temporary solution.
So, Jason pushes the key in and turns on the car. Then, he jabs a thumb at the passenger seat and says, "Let's go for a drive."
Thalia ruffles his hair, and climbs in the passenger seat. After buckling in, she wraps her hand tightly around the safety handle.
"Just...don't kill me alright?"
That makes Jason laugh as he speeds out of the garage. His laughter mingles with Thalia's, and then filters out the open windows and is gone in the wind.
Notes:
this one will be one of my longest fics ive ever written, assuming i do carry through with everything i planned. i have 21 chapters of this thing planned out, and a couple written by the time of posting this.
i do intend to finish this, though i likely won't have a consistent posting schedule all the time. if i followed through, i should have the first couple of chapters finished before i post this one, so i will be posting once a week for at least the first five or so chapters. this fic was inspired by "talk your talk and go viral (i just need this love spiral)" by wrongcaitlyn!
i love how they wrote their celebrity au, and was in love with their leo and jason characterizations and their fic is what made me really like will as a character as well and what made me make him a more major character in this fic. please i recommend go checking out that fic, and honestly, just the entire "dear reader" series it's so insanely good.this fic will focus primarily on jason and valgrace, and jason's identity issues. jason has been one of my favorite characters for a long time (with me initially disliking him lmao) and i wanted to do him justice to everyone who calls him "plain". this fic will feature additional materials with leo's past, annabeth and will's homelives, and some of the original PJO characters later on.
while Percy, Nico, and Hazel are not main characters in this one they are brought up and Nico has a pretty strong influence in the later chapters. Additionally, Piper and Reyna do not show up as much as I had initially planned for this fic, but I think they fulfill their roles to the plot successfully. Like I said, this fic mainly focuses on Jason and Leo and the "American High School Experience" coming from someone starting their junior year in August. I will preface this by saying I have never drunk, or been to a party like that, nor do I know how FB works but I try! Please excuse any inaccuracies in that department, but of course, I am open to criticism.I hope you all enjoy this!!!
Chapter 2: if i could be who you wanted
Notes:
chapter title from "fake plastic trees" by radiohead!
additional lyrics from "white ferrari" by frank ocean & "sidelines" by pheobe bridgers
no TW for this one!keep in mind...i have no idea how fb works other than there's positons, 4 quarters, and a halftime so bear with me
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Texas wasn't like home--actually, it was far from it.
But, still, it was beginning to grow on Jason.
The town they lived in was small, just on the outskirts of Houston, but it was a pretty simple compute to get to the city. At least there he could some familiarity.
On his second day there, him and Thalia drove his beat up truck to the nearby Walmart and just started tossing things in the cart. Jason might've briefly mentioned liking something, and Thalia would grab it and put it in there. Then, she'd grin and say, "Buy whatever the hell you want. It's Dad's money, after all." Reasonably, getting on his father's bad side was the last thing he should've been doing, but he'd just grinned back and followed along anyway.
After buying half the store, they'd piled everything into the truck bed and took off for home. Jason's room was slowly but surely coming together. They kept the main furniture, but added a white desk where he set up his laptop and school supplies. Alongside that was a matching white bookshelf, unassuming and empty for the time being. Back at home, Jason was signed up for AP Lit, AP Stats, and AP Gov, so he doubted those shelves would stay empty for long.
He has a large pale-yellow bean bag by his bay window, with a white and blue checkered blanket thrown over it. To cover his hardwood, he has a fluffy white carpet that they'd shoved under the bed, and hanging from his closet is a flimsy basketball hoop. Per Thalia's insistence, they'd even hung fairy lights from the rafters of the ceiling.
And, in a last-minute hasty decision, they'd spent the next week painting the wall behind his bed a baby blue to turn it into an accent wall.
So, yes, it was vastly different, but Jason liked it.
In the mornings he'd been getting up early, putting himself together and driving out to the beach before the sun has even risen and Thalia hasn't woken. He runs along the sidewalks, unburdened by the crowds, and does a cool-down stretch on the sand as he watches the sun rise. Jason liked a routine, and running kept him in shape for football. Besides, the beach was just a cool bonus.
Living with Thalia for the next week was also insanely different. He had complete freedom and was able to come and go as he pleased as long as he promised to check in now and then. Compared to his parents, it felt surreal. Hera used to have a managed google calendar, constantly filled to the brim with whatever Jason had going on. Half the time, he didn't know he even had something to do until he got the reminder.
It made it a lot harder to separate time for his friends, which is what led to him sneaking out at night, which is what led to this whole mess.
But, despite it all, he could tell Thalia was worried.
It'd only been a week, but Jason had relatively stuck to himself. Other than his morning beach runs, he spent most of his time in his room or driving around in his truck and trying to get a feel for the city. She'd never stopped him, only nodding softly and watching him leave. He could tell when she was overthinking something and this was one of those moments.
He wanted to tell her he was fine, but he wasn't entirely sure if he was. Everything just felt weird. He felt like a stranger in his own skin, ghosting around and living a life that didn't belong to him.
Throughout the weak, he hadn't gotten a single text from his father or his stepmother. It made him wonder what was happening at home. It also made him slightly concerned. Without him there, who would his father take his anger out on?
But, their attention didn't matter much to him. Reyna and Piper had taken to texting their trio group chat more often than they had before, spamming tiktoks and sending pictures of their day. Jason didn't have much to send in return other than the beach, and the four walls surrounding him. They'd pressed for details about this day, and Jason didn't have any to offer up.
He just felt lost.
primal and naked
you dream of walls that hold us in prison
it's just a skull, least that's what they call it
and we're free to roam
The school was nice, nicer than he'd thought it be. Creek Bay High School, all long white columns and blinding lights. Thalia slides out of the truck, slamming the door shut and heading towards the school. After a momentary pause, Jason scrambles to follow her.
"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this," she admits, adjusting her jacket, "I don't even know if dad filled out any of the proper paperwork."
They were signing up Jason for school, and hopefully, football if it wasn't too late to join. He held all his previous school records in his hands in case his school hadn't faxed over the digital copies. Jason felt awkward, walking past the giant "WELCOME FRESHMEN" banner, despite being a senior. Thalia had amazing timing, and decided the day she'd registered him would line up with the day the incoming freshman had their orientation.
The building isn't packed, but he can hear the chatter of voices drifting in from the open auditorium doors. The school's population was over a thousand and only bound to grow more. In the office, a couple parents sat talking, but stilled when Thalia and Jason walked in. He was sure they were quite the sight. Him in his old letterman jacket and crisp blue jeans, and then Thalia, all studs and leather and blue hair dye.
It probably didn't help that Thalia was only a measly twenty-three, compared to all these parents who looked to be in their forties.
Still, the two of them move past the stares towards the front office where a small woman with wild black hair and round eyes sits at the front desk. Her little nametag gleams with silver and reads, "Mellie Hedge." When they stop, she looks up and smiles sweetly. It's probably the nicest reaction they've gotten.
"Hello!" she greets, cheery and bright, "Can I help you?"
"Uh yeah, I'm registering Jason for school here? The paperwork from his last school and his father should've been faxed already, but I've got copies," Thalia explains, jabbing a thumb at him. Jason tunes her out as her and Mellie exchange information back and forth, placing down the files on the counter and taking in the school. The building was nice and large, two stories of clean white plaster with posters and bulletin boards pressed against the walls.
There were multiple different trophy cases, but Jason noticed a lot of them were for the school's robotics team. That wasn't to say they didn't have a decorated sports program either though. Jason found the football trophy case with ease, drifting away from his sister to go inspect it. They'd won multiple championship rounds, but none recently. There was a framed picture of their team from a couple of decades ago, from 1997, when they won finals. It was the last time they'd advanced to the finals, but they'd managed to get to the semi-finals fairly consistently since then.
Back in California, Jason's team had made it to the finals twice but never won. He'd been determined to win this year to really leave his mark his senior year as quarter-back. This year, he's probably too late to even get a position like that. All he can do is pray they haven't held position try-outs yet.
His fingers ghost across the glass, barely touching it. He'd liked his old team. He hadn't really been friends with any of them outside of the sport, but there'd always been a sense of comradery and spirit when they played. Jason knew that was definitely one thing he'd miss most. But he was determined to do his best to get on this team. If he was good enough to be the quarter back at his old private school, he could definitely be somebody here.
And, he supposed, if football failed he still had his AP classes. Maybe.
Thalia calls him over, her voice loud and brash and cutting through the thick silence. When he jogs over, Mellie is leading them through the office to the principal's office. When they enter, the principal is sitting at his desk with a woman beside him. She seems to be around Jason's age, with deep tan muscled skin, and blonde curling ringlets.
They both pause their conversation when they enter, and the principal stands up and extends his hand. "Fredrick Chase," he greets, shaking both of their hands, "You must be Thalia and Jason Grace."
Thalia nods, taking a seat across from the desk. Jason copies the action, feeling stiff. He'd never been to any principal's office before.
Mr. Chase looks past Thalia to Jason, smiling warmly. His hair is blonde dusted with grey, and his eyes are an intense brown. For a middle-aged man, he's surprisingly fit, but Jason guesses he was a lot smarter than he was athletic. The girl beside him shifts, staring Jason down with startlingly grey eyes. She's wearing a white knit sweater with some brown boots and denim shorts. Her curly hair was pulled up into a ponytail, but on their faces alone, Jason can guess the two were related.
"So," Mr. Chase starts, flicking through Jason's file, "You're going to be a senior this year with us. Your prior records state that you had straight A's for a while, up until the end of last school year, and you're signed up for three AP's this year. When your initial information was sent over, the guidance counselors put together a rough schedule for you which you can adjust as you please."
He slides a piece of paper across the table, highlighted in green. Jason takes it and slowly looks over it. They had seven periods throughout the day, with school starting at 7:20 and ending at 2:50. His first period was AP Gov, his second was Painting, his third was AP Stats, his fourth was team sports, his fifth was biology 2, his sixth was AP Lit, and his seventh was guitar. It didn't seem like too bad of a set up. He had a gym, two different creative classes, and his AP's.
Shrugging, he folds it and puts it in his pocket. "Sounds good to me."
"Perfect," Mr. Chase says, "Now, your file also says that you were on the football team back at your old school. Now, our football try-outs have already passed, but, Coach Hedge is willing to be flexible. I can talk with him about getting you into the practice tomorrow to see how things go."
That sounded about right. He knew that most schools started practices about a month or two in advance to prepare for the first game of the year. He'd known that, considering he'd already done try-outs at his old school, but he supposed the was holding onto a hope that this school didn't work the same. He can't be too disappointed though, at least he was going to get on the team.
Thalia and Mr. Chase discuss a couple of other things, occasionally asking a question directed at Jason. Eventually though, they start to go over paperwork regarding his healthcare and insurance and a bunch of other things he doesn't know the answer to.
So, while Thalia calls their father, Mr. Chase suggests a different idea.
"While we handle this, why don't you show Jason around?" he offers, directing the question at the woman beside him. "Jason, this is my daughter Annabeth. She's the senior class President, and in all of your AP classes. She's a great resource for you to help you adjust to this change." Annabeth nods stiffly, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but here but stands and begins to leave. Jason blinks a couple times, before thanking Mr. Chase and following her out.
Annabeth takes the tour seriously. She shows him to where his classes would be, where the common areas are, before eventually looping back to the office. She offers no quiet commentary, no jokes, no personality. Jason wants to get along with her, but it's like she doesn't want to get along with him. She was so different from her father it almost gave him whiplash.
On the way down the stairs back to the lobby, he asks, "You don't like doing this, do you?"
Annabeth huffs a dry laugh, fingers grazing along the railing. "Oh, was it not obvious enough?"
Jason smirks, shoving his hands in the backs of his pockets. Annabeth brushes a curl from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "No, I just had a hunch."
They continue to walk in silence for a moment, but it seems a little lighter. Jason still wants to speak--to say something. She's the first person his age he's talked to in person in over a week. She's the only thing normal that's actually happened to him since this whole move. So, when they hit the bottom of the staircase, he says, "I know what it's like to feel like your parents' pet. Why don't...why don't you just tell your dad you don't want to do the whole...personal assistant thing?"
Annabeth stops in her tracks, fingers ghosting over the railing still, one foot on the floor and the other on the bottom step. For a moment, Jason fears he overstepped. Or, that he’d made the wrong judgement.
Back at home, his only real friends had been Piper and Reyna. He had other friends, yes, but those were friends of necessity not want.
Here, he had nobody. Maybe, he wanted Annabeth to be somebody.
But she sighs and takes her final step to the ground. They were getting closer to the office, and if they were going to have a conversation like this, it's not one you'd want to have with the parents so close by. She leans against the railing, playing with the hem of her sweatshirt.
"It's not that I hate it--it's just...you have horrible timing. Or well, he has horrible timing. His work always comes before me, that's all."
Jason doesn't know much, but he can get the gist of what she's trying to explain without actually explaining it. There’s a sense of finality to her words, like she doesn’t want to say more. Doesn’t want to risk revealing too much. Jason didn’t open up to many people about his parents either, felt a sense of twisted guilt despite knowing he was the one being wronged.
He understood how she felt. Flushed and called out, and wanting to flee.
He leans against the brick wall, feeling it sticks to the fabric of his jacket, and presses one foot to the surface. "My father's the same way, that's why I'm here with my sister. I... I'd like to be friends with you. I think we could get along."
Jason holds out his hand, stretching out into the space between them. Annabeth’s head lifts from staring at the ground, and looks at his hand. Her gaze is stony and intense, before drifting up to his eyes. Something about the set look in her eyes reminds him of Reyna. Of home.
With the silence, it feels like an eternity before Annabeth finally reaches out and takes his hand in a firm shake.
"Friends," she says, before looking down the hallway. Then, she leans in and grins, "Want to sneak out and go get coffee?"
It's not what he'd expected from her at all, and it makes him laugh. It makes him feel normal to be able to interact like friends with someone who was his age. Besides, him and Reyna used to go out for coffee together all the time.
"You bet," he agrees, and the two of them slink off to the front office. They sneak past her father's office and grab Annabeth's purse out of the conference room. Jason has the truck keys, and he'd feel a little bad about abandoning Thalia here, so he gives them to Mellie to return them. After they've done that, they un-sneakily run out the front door, laughter spilling from them as soon as they're out the front door.
The laughter left him with ease, making his chest feel light and airy. It was a feeling he’d missed, despite it being such a short time since he’d been with his friends.
Annabeth shows him to her car, a small sleek white one, with a couple scuffs here and there. He slides in the passenger seat as she starts the car and puts the radio music on low.
"Does he always have you help him out at the school?" he asks, buckling up. Annabeth nods, checking her mirrors, before doing her own seatbelt.
"Pretty much. I'm there till like four every day during the school year. Like I said, I don't mind doing it, I just hate when he only comes to me when it's about school."
Jason could sympathize with that. His father barely talked to him unless it was to yell at him, and Hera really only organized things for Jason to do that made her look good. Neither of his parents ever asked about his day, or how practice was, or how his friends were. It was rare they even sat down at the dining table with him to eat dinner or breakfast. When he explains this to her, Annabeth throws up her hands exasperatedly and agrees.
"I know right! They put so much attention on my brothers but can't even ask me how school was," she explains, taking a corner to get downtown. She was a good driver, always clean and precise, and able to watch the road carefully whilst holding conversation. She spares him a glance, smiling, and says, "I think we're more alike than we'd initially thought."
They drive slowly downtown, before she pulls into a broken parking lot next to a brownstone building. It's a small little thing, with apartments on top, and the lingering smell of cigarette smoke fills the air. Annabeth gets out, and gestures for him to follow her.
"It's the best place downtown," she explains, "Will and I like to come down here after school to work on homework."
"Will?" he echoes, as she pulls open the door with a little chime.
The inside of the coffee shop was quaint, and warm. It was the epitome of all things fall and cozy. Warm fairy lights hung from the industrial ceiling, with yellow antique lamps in the corners. There were a couple greyish brown couches in one corner, with bean bags and love seats. There were bookshelves lining the wall beside the couches, filled with books and knick-knacks. Across from the couches were a couple table set-ups, and Annabeth plops her purse on one by the window.
"He's a friend of mine, you'll meet him. He's signed up for Biology 2 with you. He's pretty cool though, I think you'll like him."
Jason had a lot of people to meet still. He wasn't too keen on having zero friends for his senior year. He wasn't the most extroverted person, but he had no issue with getting along with people most of the time. Him and Annabeth had hit it off pretty well, he'd say. Anybody who got along with Annabeth, would probably get along with him as well.
Hopefully.
He reaches into his pocket and fishes out his phone and wallet. He unlocks his phone before sliding it over to Annabeth to add her phone number to his contacts. “I’m going to go order, do you want anything?”
She hums, considering, as her fingers move rapidly across his phone keyboard. “Can you get me a blueberry scone? I have cash.”
Jason nods, but walks away before she can dig through her purse. It’s not like he was short on cash. Hera had a bountiful allowance that she gave him, but it wasn’t like he had much to spend it on.
He orders Annabeth’s scone, and gets himself an iced coffee. The waitress is nice, with honey-colored hair and eyes, and a sugary smile. He watches as she puts together his drink before placing Annabeth’s scone on a small porcelain plate.
After picking up the order, he heads back to the table where Annabeth had returned his phone, and tucked a couple bills underneath.
When he sits down, she asks, “Where are you from?”
Jason takes a sip of his coffee, swishing it around. “California,” he answers after a second, “San Francisco to be more exact.”
Annabeth’s eyes widen, and she slams her hand down on the table. The sound echoes in the cafe, but she doesn’t seem to care for the heads that swivel in their direction.
“No way!” she grins, “Me too!”
Jason stutters for a second, blinking rapidly. He supposed she did have the California look to her, bronzed skin and beachy curls. She also didn’t have a Texan accent, like most of the other people he talked to here. She sounded like he did, but with an odd twang.
“My dad and I lived in Virginia but moved to San Francisco when I was thirteen. We didn’t stay for long though, because my stepmother wanted to move back here.”
“That’s sick,” he laughs, “Maybe that's why we get along."
She nods, biting into her scone. She chews for a moment, before dropping it down onto her plate. “Maybe—though, I like it better here than I did there.”
“Really?”
The two of them bicker back and forth over the pros and cons of California and Texas, Jason strongly advocating for his home state. It wasn’t like California was great, or his childhood was great, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t his home. Jason couldn’t just betray that. But he thinks if he has Annabeth, Thalia, and a couple of other friends at his side he'll learn to love Texas just as much.
Maybe. Like Hera said, he wasn't sure if this was permanent.
Over the next hour and half, Jason slowly gets to know Annabeth better. She explains to him how the school works, what teachers he’ll have, how the different club's work. Apparently, every student is required to be in some sort of extracurricular, but because he was already signed up for football, he’d managed to get out of it.
Annabeth herself was very involved. She was the executive board president, on the robotics team, senior drum major of the marching band, captain of the volleyball team, and had an internship at an architectural firm. All this along with that fact she was signed up for five AP’s and consistently been the highest performing student in the grade for the past three years.
Jason probably would’ve found her more intimidating if he hadn’t seen her nearly choke on a blueberry scone five minutes prior.
Back at home, he lived a fairly similar life. He was quarterback, yes, but he also was a shoo-in to be valedictorian, constantly did community service, and took as many AP’s as his school would’ve allowed. Most of the things he did weren’t his decision, yes, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like to do them. He eventually grew to love all the things they did, even if they were just additional pressure. Here, he'd gotten rid of those responsibilities. He wasn't sure what that meant for the future--but then again, when had ever known what he wanted in the future?
Ultimately, he'd always known that his future was a decision he wouldn't ever be able to make for himself.
Annabeth seems so confident, so sure of everything. She says she's going to become an architect, that her ultimate goal is to bring back old designs and revamp them. She heavily discussed her hatred for modernism, and a fascination with the way the Ancient Romans and Greeks built their nations. Jason found a slight fascination with it too, and they talked about the AP Euro course they'd both taken the year before.
She reminded him of everything he should be. Everything his parents wanted him to have the potential to have.
It almost made him feel guilty. For still managing to be a disappointment after Thalia.
Almost.
In the end though, hanging out with Annabeth was pretty cool. She held fast-paced, intelligent, conversation. The type of conversation he could really only have with Reyna back home. She made him feel less like he had to be perfect, because she was just as imperfect as he was. Well, maybe not as much as he was, but she had her flaws and issues too. She made him feel less like he was just another spoiled rebellious teenager. Annabeth made him feel like his bitterness was justified.
She drives him back home, where Thalia is sitting with a metric ton of paperwork at the table. When he enters, she waves him over and forces him to help her fill out his healthcare information as "punishment" for ditching her. By the end of it, they're curled up on the couch in front of the AC, sucking on popsicles, as some old 80's movie plays on the TV.
And Jason feels normal.
watching the world from the sidelines
had nothing to prove
'till you came into my life
gave me something to lose
Jason arrives at football practice the next day with all his usual gear. His stuff is all still the colors of his old team, and he feels out of place next to everyone else in white, black, and orange. It probably doesn't help that they've been practicing together all month, and Jason randomly shows up and is a part of the team without really needing to go through try-outs.
On the track, the cheer team is doing their stretches, all unrecognizable faces to him. Except one. He spots the girl from the cafe, the waitress, who spots him and waves. He waves back, and the girls beside her laugh, which makes Jason pull his hand down again.
"You know Calypso?" one boy asks him, rather small for a football player. He pulls up his helmet, his blue eyes shining with something mischievous, and his damp brown curls sticking to his forehead. Beside him, another boy pops up, strikingly similar to the one of his left side.
"No, not really--I saw her downtown," Jason admits to the two boys, unsure of its relevance.
Both their jerseys read STOLL, and Jason pins them as siblings fairly quickly. The one on his left, with his helmet still on, nudges his shoulder and points over to the group of cheerleaders. "Well, I'd say stay far away from her. She goes through guys at lightning speed. She gets obsessed with you, then gets bored and leaves. Not pretty."
Jason huffs. He wasn't big on gossip, never had been. Piper kept him up to date with what was happening at school, but even then, she didn't enjoy it too much either. She just told him what he needed to know to stay socially relevant and not seem ignorant to people. Besides, he wasn't looking for a relationship. He'd had one, back in sophomore year after a girl cornered him and confessed her feelings and Jason had felt too bad to say no. They dated for about a month before she tearfully broke up with him because he wasn't doing enough for her. Since then, he'd decided to not focus on that stuff till after high school.
It's not like he had the time in his schedule back then for it anyway. Now, maybe he did. And, yes, Calypso was pretty but--not his type.
"I wasn't planning on dating her," he says, moving forward to where everyone else was starting to gather. The Stoll's scramble after him, chatting his ear off. He learns that Travis is in his year, and slightly taller, and the one that had initially approached him. Connor was a sophomore, and a lot more vocal than his brother was. Travis waves off what Connor said and shoves his brother with his shoulder.
"Don't mind him. He's just still sour that she broke up with him right before homecoming last year!"
Jason mostly tunes them out. They don't seem like bad company by any means, but he wants to make sure this practice goes right. If the coach sees any reason to not allow him on the team, now would be the time to act on it. He's pretty sure he's already on it, though most likely bound to be a benchwarmer all season, which he doesn't want.
The three of them gather around with everyone else, to find a short and stout man standing on a bench. He's wearing a blue and white striped polo that reveals a sliver of his stomach due to his fat, and black cargo shorts. He has a scruffy beard, with brown hair tucked under a baseball cap. There's a whistle hanging from his mouth, which he blows into loudly to make everyone's ears ring.
"Listen up! This is one of our last practices before school starts, and therefore, one of our last practices before the first game of the season. We have about two weeks till we go up against Northside. Once school picks up, we will be having practice every other day from five to eight, so be prepared for that. Today, we'll be doing practice matches and switching up positions to make sure everyone can be flexible. Understood?'
They all shout their assent, Jason adjusting his helmet. He's not sure what position he'll play today, but at least he'll be playing. They have just enough members between the varsity and jv teams to make up two teams. If he's guessing right, he'll be put with all the freshmen and sophomores on jv. And well...that isn't great, but it could be worse.
After a warm-up stretch, the coach assigns teams, and Jason was correct. All the jv players look at him oddly, like they weren't quite sure what to make of him. Jason tries to offer a friendly smile, but that doesn't seem to appease them much. A boy next to him laughs, a good couple inches taller than Jason and says, "Good luck. They're ruthless," before walking off towards the juniors and seniors in varsity. His back reads ZHANG.
But, Jason's called forward by the coach after his name is read out. He sticks out a sweaty hand and says, "Coach Hedge, Fredrick told me about you."
To be respectful, he takes the man's hand but is silently thankful for his glove. "Nice to meet you, sir," he says, putting on his best smile. "Happy to be here."
Coach smirks, looking out at the field. "Don't get too happy," he says, "You're still being tested for now. Based on what Fredrick told me, you're aiming to be our varsity quarterback, right? Well, lucky for you, the last guy just quit so you might get your wish. I'm putting you with the kids on jv to see how you work, but in the end, you will be on varsity. Got it?"
"Got it," Jason confirms, letting out a little sigh of relief. It's not like he was hung up over being quarterback...but after devoting himself to the sport for the past four, almost five, years he'd like to think he earned the position. "What position am I playing with them?"
"Well, I'm gonna put you as wide receiver for offense and safety for defense. I usually have the little Stoll do that, but I switched him on varsity for today so I could test you."
Jason nods. He understands why Connor was the last wide receiver if he ran as fast as he talked. Jason had been a wide receiver his eighth grade and freshman years, before he'd bulked up and became more versatile. Still, even now, his speed wasn't something to be overlooked. Jason had trained nearly every position on the field, and he was ready to show Coach Hedge what he could do.
Now, he's a purple and gold blob amongst a sea of orange, white, and black. He stands out clearly next to everyone else.
Coach Hedge does the coin toss, and jv ends up on offense. Jason's sort of glad for that. He could prove himself more on the offensive than he could the defensive. He was a strong offensive player, and a fairly good defensive player. He finds his spot on the far-right half of the field and lowers himself. Across the field, he takes in his competition.
He finds Connor and Travis, with Connor being safety and Travis playing the right cornerback. On the left side, there's another boy with an almost evil look in his eyes. He finds out that the boy from earlier, Zhang, was the middle linebacker when he played defense. There's a handful of other boys he doesn't recognize in various safety, tackle, end, and linebacker positions. Though, the right outside linebacker stands out to him, big and large, with dark skin. He catches Jason's eye and nods.
At least the varsity team was friendly. The jv team has so far done nothing but stare at him. On the brighter side, these weren't the people he'd be playing with.
The first quarter goes by in a quick and brutal fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, the jv team lost much to Jason's disappointment. He hears Coach Hedge screaming, sometimes catching his last name amongst the jumble of words and uses it as motivation. Still, it really was no match. A lot of the kids he was playing with were new to football, and when he called out things they didn't listen to him. It was like Jason was trying to play a 1v11 game.
The varsity team moved like a well-oiled machine. Their passes were clean, they listened to each other, they had devised plans and attacks. They'd been playing together for years and got along with each other. Jason wanted desperately to be over there on that side. They win together as a team. None of them feel like they're carrying the full brunt of their team on their backs. Jason does. But he was lined up to be captain last year, and he isn't going to let this upset him.
He tries to turn to his team for a quick huddle, but they're all deep in their heads over dropped passes and smooth tackles and don't want to hear a single word Jason says. They're at 6 to 8 points; there is still the slight chance of winning. The six points they'd managed to score was from the one touchdown he'd made. He wants to remind them that they still have three more quarters, but they don't seem to care. Jason wonders how many times they've done practice matches and been beaten brutally by the varsity team if they're ready to give up this early.
But, he knows his effort is futile. They're down fifteen points by the second quarter, and by that point, he isn't sure if half of these kids are still trying to play. When Coach calls for the scheduled ten-minute halftime, Jason plops down on a bench and debates his choices. He doesn't want to give up--no, he actually likes playing football and he'd like to leave a good impression on Coach Hedge. But that feels damn near impossible when none of his teammates want to cooperate.
Really, it's no wonder they're on junior varsity.
During their scheduled halftime break, Zhang and the other outside linebacker come up to him. They sit down beside them, nursing towels to their sweating foreheads, and grin at him.
"Told you they're ruthless," Zhang says, and holds out his hand, "I'm Frank. This is Charlie but everyone just calls him Beckendorf."
Frank and Beckendorf are both nice people, people he'd get along with better than the Stoll brothers. They inform him on who's who. They point out the evil-eyed cornerback who also went by his last name, Lityerses. There were five more guys on varsity that Jason would be with, but the others apparently didn't deem them important enough. On the jv team, they point out Bryce and Caligula and Jason recognizes them as the two who'd deliberately stolen his plays during the first two quarters.
"They're assholes," he says, without thinking, before scrunching his face up. Beckendorf gives a good-natured chuckle, and Frank sighs with a nod.
"Without a doubt," Frank agrees, "But...in a couple years they'll be good players. I remember I was like that---not an asshole! Of course, but, unsure."
Beckendorf leans around Frank's large build and knocks his knuckles against the side of his face. "Frank just joined this summer, you should've seen him last year! He was all pudge and round. We whipped him into shape real good. I'm sure Coach will do the same with those their attitudes."
Turns out Frank is originally from Canada and hadn't played football before this year. His mother was military and was deployed out here and Frank had the option of going with her or staying with his grandmother. Apparently, his true passion was archery, but Texas wasn't the best place for that. He trained on the side though and dreamed of one day going to the Olympics.
On the other hand, Beckendorf had been playing football for about as long as Jason had and was the team's captain. He was an absolute beast out on the turf, but all polite off of it. He switches their attentions over to the sidelines, where the cheerleaders had moved on from their stretches to their choreographed dances and points out the girl at the front center of their triangle. That was his girlfriend, Silena Beauregard, and she was the head captain of the cheerleaders.
It all felt like some random movie cliche.
In the end, the jv team lost. The ending points came to 16 to 24, and really, there wasn't ever a chance. Jason itched to be on the opposing team--to be with a group of people who fought for the game as hard as he did. But he knew this was a test, and he refused to give Coach Hedge any reason to not let him play this season. Or, worse, to put him on the jv team.
So, he tried. He took every pass he could, he ran hard and fast, he pumped all his muscles to their extent, but alone he wasn't good enough.
When Coach Hedge blows his whistle and dismisses everyone, he calls Jason over to him. Tired, and sweaty, he jogs over, peeling off his uniform as he goes. Coach Hedge is sitting on the bench, etching things down into a comically tiny notebook. When Jason arrives next to him, he looks up and his face scrunches like he'd just sucked all the juice out of a lemon.
"You're on varsity," he announces into the thick silence, "But you're on the bench until I tell you otherwise. Got it?"
Jason's teeth grind together, and his fingers curl into his palms once more. This time though, there's no sting of pain, the padded gloves preventing his fingernails from doing their usual damage.
"Yes Coach," he says, shifting his stance, "Can I ask why?"
Coach Hedge coughs, something bronchial sounding, and begins to pack up his stuff. "Nothin' too personal," he assures, "But your team lost. Yes, you were with the jv team, but still. You didn't chorale them together like a real quarterback would. So, bench for you. You'll play, I promise that, just not yet."
Jason knows better than to let his disappointment and frustration show on his face. So instead, he just nods and gives the coach his thanks, before heading towards the locker room to change. When he gets there, there's only a couple of the varsity boys left. Frank greets him with a friendly wave, and shows him an empty locker to leave his stuff in.
"So, what's the verdict?" he asks, pulling his shirt over his head. His jet-black hair is damp, like he'd dunked his head under the sink. Either that, or he just sweat a lot.
"I'm a varsity benchwarmer," Jason sighs, putting his old school helmet in the locker. He wonders when he'd get his new set. It's not like he could play a game wearing purple and gold. "I guess he expected the junior varsity team to win solely based on me."
Frank winces, clapping a hand down on his shoulder. "Sorry about that man, he's like that sometimes. He'll come around though, he always does. You were pretty cool out there! All fast and stuff. I'm honestly surprised."
Jason shrugs. "I could've done better."
"Maybe," Frank hums, rummaging around in his bag, "But I was impressed."
And with that, he leaves, and Jason stands there and stares at his own trembling hands.
He could do better. Jason would do better. No question about it.
Notes:
annabeth is here!! shes the loml but istg she is so hard to characterize for me...esp in aus. but anyways!! enjoy her because shes sticking around. next chapter you guys get to meet the man of the hour...
frank is also here!! along w a couple other football boys but they wont be nearly as relevant as him. that isnt to say some of the background characters mentioned in this chapter won't be relevant tho!1
please forgive me for my limited football knowledge, google became my best friend when writing this chapter lmao
enjoy <33
Chapter 3: you came out of the blue
Notes:
chapter title from "the blue" by gracie abrams
additional lyrics from "old money" by lana del rey & "amelie" by gracie abrams
once again, no TWs for this one!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
but if you send for me, you know i'll come
and if you call for me, you know i'll run
i'll run to you, i'll run to you
i'll run, run, run
Jason's first day of school didn't go as poorly as he feared it would.
The week leading up to it, him and Thalia had gone out shopping for school supplies. Their father was sending Thalia biweekly payments of a hundred dollars to take care of him. Jason likes to think he wasn't too costly of a person, so whatever they didn't spend, he got to pocket. It was pretty nice to have money on hand, even though he didn't have much to spend it on yet.
Football practices were getting better too. Coach Hedge had been allowing him to practice as quarterback and wide-receiver, and he was practically a shoo-in to play at the second game of the year. He was making friends on the team--and not like his old football friends. They had a rather lively group chat that he had to silence because his phone went off every hour with a bunch of texts from it. At some point, Annabeth had met up with him to discuss studying. While she took AP Gov the year before, she was in his Stats and Lit class, so she'd welcomed him into her and Will's after school study sessions at the coffee shop downtown.
It wasn't much. It wasn't like him and Piper who transferred rides to and from their respective football and cheer practices. Or Reyna who would sit on his bedroom floor and quiz him even though they didn't even though they didn't take the same classes. But it was nice. People were making an effort to reach out to him, to include him. It made him feel better about everything.
At least until his stepmother decided to send him a text wishing him luck but also to remind him that she'd aiming to get him home by Christmas to return to school in California. And, yes, it's only been a couple weeks, and he still missed California terribly. But--it wasn't too bad here. For all the negative moments, that were really just fueled by his own awkwardness at the move, there had been positive moments to outweigh them.
There was a scheduled homeroom block for Mondays, apparently, with randomized classes. Because this school year started on a Tuesday, Jason wouldn't actually figure out who was in his homeroom block till the week after, but he knows they're supposed to be alphabetical. Except, the guidance counselor had sheepishly laughed and said he was put with the end of the alphabet because they didn't have room for him at the beginning. So, that was great.
But all of his classes had gone well. His first block was AP Gov, and the teacher had spent most of it talking about himself, and then rushing through icebreakers when he realized the bell was about to ring. For his second block, painting, it was a relatively small class. Mostly freshmen trying to get their necessary art elective out of the way, and the occasional senior who had a free block that needed to be filled. The teacher was actually May Castellan, Luke's mom. She was a little eccentric, but Jason supposed most art teachers were that way.
For AP Stats, there was a vast number of students in the class. The room felt choking, with how thick the air was, and how close the desks were pushed together. Luckily, Jason manages to snag a seat next to Annabeth. But he ended up not needing to deal with the overcrowded environment for long because the fire alarm went off. Jason figured it was a little counter-productive, considering the teacher hadn't even gotten to the 'fire evacuation' part of her introduction yet, but he followed the crowd out the nearest door. Everyone filed out onto the football field, and chatted while they kept their eyes on the school as firetrucks pulled in.
Well, last Jason checked, those don't show up for drills.
His worry must've showed on his face, because a boy popped out of nowhere at his side and said, "Don't worry. The alarm was just pulled."
Jason looks down to the boy at his side and had to stop himself from staring. His tan skin glinted in the sunlight, along with a mop of messy bronze curls on his head. He was roughly four inches shorter than Jason and beamed up at him. One of the first things Jason noticed was how his brown eyes turned almost golden under the sun. The boy wore jean shorts that ended around his knees, with keychains hanging from his belt loop, and a faded QUEEN shirt.
Swallowing roughly, he asks, "How do you know?"
The boy's beam turns devilish, and he pulls a pack of spearmint gum of out his pocket. "Cause I rigged it," he says, like it was the most obvious thing in the world as he pops a piece of gum into his mouth. "Want some?"
Jason isn't sure whether to accept or decline. For starters, maybe he shouldn't become friends with someone who pranked the school on the first day. But then again, something about him compelled to learn more about the boy. So, he holds his hand out and lets him drop a piece into his hand. Slowly, he asks, "How'd you rig it?"
The boy folds up the packet, shoving it hastily back into his shorts like it was some forbidden contraband and not a pack of Wrigley's Extra. "I was here yesterday for some robotics shit. I got bored and rewired the fire alarm to go off today during Stats," he looks up at Jason again, sticking out his hand in a curled fist, "I'm Leo by the way. Leo Valdez."
Ah, so that was his name. Jason knocks his own curled fist against Leo's.
"Jason Grace," he says, before lowering his tone and asking, "Aren't you scared of getting caught?"
Leo wrinkles his nose and looks at Jason like he'd just said something stupid. "Please--I'm sure I already have been caught. I mean, who else is smart enough to do that? Well, Annabeth probably--but that's beside the point. It doesn't really matter to me though, no."
So, Jason circles back to Stats. "And you're in my statistics class?"
"Yup!" Leo says, popping the 'p'. "Boring as hell, I'll tell you. Shit's super easy."
Jason doesn't consider advanced statistics "super easy" but, well, if Leo can rewire a fire alarm, maybe it is to him. He chuckles a little to himself, curling his hand around the gum and putting into his back pocket. "Have you taken the class before?" he asks, and Leo shakes his head. His curls bounce with the movement, some ringlets tighter than others.
"Nah, but I got bored two summers ago and taught it to myself."
Jason doesn't quite get it. Leo's clearly very gifted if he's able to learn AP Statistics on his own, considers himself on par with Annabeth, and he's in robotics. Why would he risk pulling the fire alarm? Why would he want to get himself in trouble? For fun? Jason supposed he could kind of understand that. All those parties he'd been to, knowing he'd get in trouble, had been for fun. But those hadn't jeopardized his school career like this would.
But, he supposed, he doesn't need to understand it. Leo wasn't harming anybody, and it seems like all the other students were honestly relieved to have a break from a long day of repeated introductions and icebreakers. Jason was, and well, he knew the other kids in his stuffed statistics class were.
"I haven't seen you before," Leo says, and it's not a question, it's a statement. He doesn't elaborate, instead, pulling out a bundle of multi-colored pipe cleaners from one of his many pockets and beginning to twist them together at a rapid pace. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth, and Jason suppresses a smile.
"I just moved here a couple weeks ago," Jason explains, watching the teachers realize that there wasn't an emergency at hand, "It's my first day. I'm from California."
That catches Leo's attention. He raises an eyebrow, looking up at him, but his hands still move methodically over the pipe cleaner bundle. His fingers twist artfully, crafting something that Jason couldn't make out. "Oh that's sick! Do people really say gnarly there? Y'know...like...that was a gnarly wave man--"
"No," Jason cuts off, feeling something light and airy in his chest. "Nobody seriously says that."
Leo doesn't look convinced, squinting at him. "If you say so," he sighs, blowing out a gust of air to prove that he doesn't believe him, "If I lived in Cali I would totally say gnarly."
Jason notices that his accent was a lot thicker than the other people he'd met here. To be fair, Frank and Annabeth weren't actual Texans. Nor were Thalia and Luke. Leo had a Texan accent, mixed with...something. He thinks it might be Spanish, the way he rolls his 'r's, and his 'n's sound a little softer around the edges. He could also guess based on his last name and appearance that he wasn't white.
Reyna was also Hispanic, but she was Puerto Rican. Her accent wasn't nearly as prominent, considering she'd stayed with her sister most of her life instead of her parents. Most Hispanic Texans were Mexican American, he figured, with the borders being so close. Most of the kids here were people of color as well, which hadn't surprised him. If not, they also just had really insane tans.
"Trust me," Jason says, "California isn't all that."
"I don't know," Leo hums, squinting at his jumble of pipe cleaners. He'd managed to twist some of them into a dome shape, bending in the extra pieces to make a bottom that had small slivers of space between them. Then, he was taking the rest of the piper cleaners and hooking them through those small spaces. One he'd done that, he begun twisting and adding small curves to the stray pipe cleaners sticking out from the dome. "People hype up Texas, but it sucks here too."
"Maybe everywhere sucks," Jason chimes in, as Leo pulls back his handiwork.
"Maybe," Leo agrees, before looking at Jason over his shoulder. "I think I'd like to go to Massachusetts someday though. Get all those East Coast vibes, you feel?"
"Sure," Jason snorts, but he feels himself smiling regardless. Leo grins back, something sharp, before passing him his pipe cleaner creation. Jason takes it delicately, like it might fall apart in his hands. He's still not quite sure what it is.
"It's a jellyfish," Leo explains, and well, if Jason squints, he could kind of see the vision.... kind of. He wants to tell Leo to stick to rewiring fire alarms, but he holds that comment back. "Consider it a token of my friendship."
"I'll be sure to cherish it," Jason comments dryly, inspecting it under the sunlight. It was a mesh of purples, yellows, and blues. Not the best color combo, but it worked well enough. Soon after that though, the teachers were herding them back inside, muttering things about pranksters and potential mechanism failures. He doesn't miss the conspiratorial smirk Leo sends him from across the statistics classroom when their stats teacher begins to complain about how much time the fire drill had stolen from her class period.
Fortunately for him, and everyone else, the rest of the day passes by relatively uneventful. Team sports went as expected, with Jason unintentionally dominating a game of basketball. His next class is Biology 2, and Jason conveniently ends up across from none other than Will Solace, Annabeth's study buddy and probable best friend. Will recognizes him, mentioning something about Annabeth telling him about Jason, and introduces himself kindly. Will wanted to go to medical school, which is why he was the only junior taking the biology 2 course, when it's only required to take regular biology. Jason soon realizes most of the other kids in this class also intended on attending medical school and feels a little out of place. Thankfully, Will promises to help him out if needed.
AP Lit is good too, with Annabeth in his class as well. She saves him a seat this time, somewhere in the middle of the room, which he's thankful for. The AP lit teacher is a nice woman, but she based on her introduction alone, she should probably retire sometime soon and save herself the hassle of teaching the class. Lastly, his last class is guitar with the music program director. He's a young man, with scruffy beard and glasses, who makes stupid jokes and has a couch in his classroom. Guitar was never something Jason considered--most music achievements were out of the question for his stepmother. They were harder to get recognized for, or something like that.
He supposed this could be one thing he could do for himself though, and the teacher seemed like a nice enough man to deal with.
When the final bell of the day rings, Jason's not as relieved as he thought he'd be. The school itself didn't seem half-bad, he felt like this was something he could actually enjoy. If he was going to deal with even just half of his senior year here (and arguably the better half) then he wanted to make it worthwhile.
Football practice follows at five. Jason had spent the hours before that with Annabeth and Will at the cafe, catching up on their first day of schools. Annabeth complains about the fire drill, and how it'd thrown off their stats class. Jason has to contain a smirk as she rambles about the school not properly checking their alarm systems before they open, and how her father should make sure things are more prepared as the school principal. Will listens to her ramble, sipping on his brown sugar espresso.
He offers to drive Will home before he has to return for practice, but Will bashfully declines. It turns out Will's parents were both singers on tour right now, and he spent most nights over at Annabeth's house for dinner. Jason thinks that's a nice thing--a good thing, even, but Will just seems embarrassed. So, he bids the two of them goodbye, and heads out.
Practice goes as well as one could expect. Their first game is this Friday, and Jason has already settled in the disappointment that he won't get to play in the first game of the season. He doesn't let that stop him from pushing through and performing as well as he could at practice. If not for his own satisfaction, but to see the mildly impressed look on Coach Hedge's face when he scores the most points during the practice match, or when he's the fastest at drills. Or when Coach Hedge calls him out for it, and he feels Byrce and Caligula's scathing glares at his back.
Yes, he knows he's a senior and he shouldn't be beefing with freshmen. But damn did it feel good.
On his way home, he facetimes Piper and Reyna per their request. They beam at him from the phone screen, chattering on about how they missed him at school as he drives through downtown with his windows down. Jason spots a gym, and an idea hits him like a lightbulb. He pulls into the parking lot and texts Thalia that he'll be late. At his parents' house, they'd had their own training room for Jason. He'd been managing to keep himself exercised through running for the past couple of weeks, but soon his lack of weightlifting would start to show. Maybe he could talk Thalia into getting one of those smaller, cheaper, machines to put in his room. It's not like he didn't have the space. Plus, when he inevitably moved out, she could sell it for a fairly good price.
But, before he can head in, Piper and Reyna insist he tell them about his first day as well.
"Well," he drawls, scratching at his head with one arm propped on the windowsill, "It was interesting, that's for sure. My classes are all chill except for stats, that one is packed. But um, this kid wired the fire alarm to go off, so we had a fire drill. And, well, he chose to tell me and then he gave me this stupid jellyfish thing--" he pulls it out of his glovebox, and Piper and Reyna both squint at it.
Eventually, Reyna murmurs, "That's supposed to be a jellyfish?"
Jason nods dejectedly and holds it in his hand. Maybe he could get a clip for it and hang it from his interior truck mirror. He could also probably just ask Leo to do that for him; he'd do it better than Jason could.
Still, the thing was cute he supposed. In an odd, fucked up, kind of way.
After a second, Piper chimes in, "he seems like he could be pretty fun at parties!"
That makes Jason snort. He could picture Leo at a party, standing on a table after downing a fireball, yelling something or the other. He looks up to the camera with a grin and says, "He asked if people in California actually say the word gnarly. I had to crush his dreams."
Piper shrieks, a noise of offense and laughter. Reyna only shakes her head, a small mirthful smile on her face. Jason doesn't know much about Leo, hell, he doesn't even know if they could be considered friends, but he thinks he'd fit in with the three of them. Or, at least, with Piper.
Jason sighs, head tilted back to look up at his roof. The other end of the call goes quiet, only after Reyna's shoved Piper off the bed to get her to stop cackling, and Jason lets the quiet ring in his ears for a moment. He looks back at the camera, at Piper who was crawling back up into bed, and Reyna who was watching her with a fond smile. Piper settles back down, resting her chin on Reyna's shoulder.
"I miss you guys," he says quietly, his voice a little thicker than he'd thought it'd be. "It's fine here, I have friends but--it's not the same."
Reyna hums, something low and familiar. He wishes he was there with them, the three of them pressed side-to-side on Reyna's janky twin bed, laughing at poorly animated horror stories on YouTube like they used to do. Like what Reyna and Piper probably will do once he hangs up. Because, in the end, they still have each other. He has nobody.
"We miss you too, Jace," Piper whispers, "You made our trio. But, hey, we'll still be here when you get back. Don't you worry."
"I know," he says, and then a little quieter, he repeats it to himself. "I know."
Eventually, he does get off the call, deciding he should probably get inside to the gym sooner rather than later.
He gets home around nine-thirty and takes a brisk shower. Thalia's sitting curled up on the couch, a big bowl of popcorn on the table, and a horror movie on the TV. She pats the spot next to her and has him sit and tell her about his day. Before long, Jason's head ends up in Thalia's lap as her chipped black fingernails run through his damp blonde hair.
That night, they both fall asleep like that. And, when Jason's running late for school in the morning due to the lack of alarm clock, she laughs and calls the school to give him an excused tardy.
tell me more, i would give all my time
all your words felt like a nursey rhyme
comfortable, handin' you my whole life
when all your words felt like a funeral rite
Notes:
alas, leo is here. and, now that he is here, you will never be able to get rid of him. looking at the planner rn i think he's in literally every single chapter i've written, even if it's just like a small scene so i hope yall enjoy!!
sooo when i planned this fic i did NOT plan for piper, reyna, or jason to have any connection with each other deeper than friendship. but, when i was writing this, i was lowk getting pipeyna vibes. so y'all lmk how you feel about that because i feel like they could be cute.
obviously, they wouldn't be a focus or anything. it'd be more of a background and established thing, but if yall are chill with it than i am more than fine with it. it also gives me more angst prospects for jason for a future chapter i have planned...
but, as always, i hope you enjoyed!!
Chapter 4: soon you will be mine
Notes:
chapter title from "fallingforyou" by the 1975!
additional lyrics from "would that i" by hozier, "sunday morning" by maroon 5, & "do i wanna know" by arctic monkeys
only TW i can think of is Leo makes a suicide joke but otherwise you should be all set!! just a forewarning that this chapter does skip through a couple weeks so while the time stamps arent incredibly important, just know that this chapter spans through all of september
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
SEPTEMBER 3rd
incoming message from unknown number
would you like to report this number as spam?
(***)-(***)-(***)
hey is thsi jason
tis
this
Um yes it is
Who is this?
(***)-(***)-(***)
ope mb
it's leo
i got ur # from annabeth
Ahh makes sense
What's up?
Leo V.
nothin i jsut wanted your phone number
yk after i gave you my jellyfish of freindship
riendhsip
friendship
Ok whatever you say dude
Speaking of that thing. Would you be able to give it a clip?
I was thinking of hanging it from my car mirror
Leo V.
oh hell yea i can do that
u bet
Cool. I'll see you at school?
Leo V.
see ya
"I"m going to kill myself," Leo groans, falling back onto the greyish-brown couch in the little coffee shop. He has the back of his right hand pressed to his forehead; leg flailed in the air to emphasize his dramatic effect. "Seriously, this is gonna be the end of me."
"It's just one project," Jason laughs, settling down beside him and forcing Leo to move his legs. Leo does with a huff, lifting them as Jason sits, only to drop them right back down in his lap. It causes him to pause, stutter for a moment, before eventually deciding to go with it. He reaches over Leo's legs to grab his computer and his notebook, resting his laptop on the couch armchair. "If you hadn't decided to try to make food in the back of Ms. Pheobe's class, you wouldn't have to do it."
Three days ago, and six days after Leo had initially texted Jason, he'd moved his seat to the back of the class where Annabeth and Jason sat. He isn't sure how he managed that, but when he asked Leo just grinned and said that he had his ways. Whatever that meant. Then, he'd pulled out a crumpled bag of hot chips and a little baggy of peppers and dip. Annabeth and Jason had watched in horror, as Leo constructed his pepper, cream cheese, and taki meal. He'd only put together two of them before Ms. Pheobe caught him.
Then, as punishment, she assigned him a project. He had a month to learn all the subject matter she was going to teach in September, put it together in a cohesive slideshow, and teach it to the class. So, now the class got out of having to take a test, but Leo's grade would heavily depend on how good his slideshow is. Truthfully, Jason isn't worried for him. Leo's easily one of the smartest kids at the school, especially when it comes to math. He just knows that Leo doesn't want to do it. That's all.
Leo flings his arm over his eyes, tucking his face into the crook of his inner elbow. Jason just sighs and turns to his notebook, propping it up against Leo's ankles. In the loveseat, Will and Annabeth settle down, taking as much joy in Leo's misery as Jason was.
"I don't understand why you repeatedly test every single teacher you have," Annabeth scoffs, setting down her plate with her usual blueberry scone on the table, "You're a smart kid. It's like you want to get expelled."
"It's not that! School's just terribly boring. Everything is so easy! Nothing is actually challenging me," Leo complains, throwing his hands up in the air. There's a scowl fixed on his face that makes Jason snort at just how sour it is. "I could do Ms. Pheobe's stat work in my sleep but she still talks to me like I'm dumb. I can't wait for college--maybe I'll actually learn something for once."
Jason clicks his tongue, pulling up his AP Gov assignment. "Maybe you should learn how to enable autocorrect on your phone. I have to decipher your texts half the time."
There's a snort from Annabeth, and a good-natured chuckle from Will. For the most part, the two of them mind their own business. Ever since they'd invited Leo to their last study session, Jason and Leo had done more talking than they had studying which is what Will and Annabeth were not interested in doing. Leo props himself up on one elbow, his jaw dropping, and his free hand pressed to his chest in mock-offense. "Excuse you," he hisses, "my misspellings are stylistic, thank you very much."
"Uh-huh," Jason says, squinting at his computer. He'd forgotten to put in his contacts this morning, running late because he hadn't wanted to get up and his glasses were lost somewhere in his room. He'd somehow managed to make it through the day without a headache from the amount of squinting he had to do. Beside him, Leo sits up more, peering over his shoulder.
"How blind are you?" Leo fake-whispers, like he was asking some big secret. Jason can smell him. The light tangerine-like tang of his cologne, the mint ghosting on his breath from toothpaste and gum, and the almost woodsy smoke scent that clung to his clothes. He's so close to Jason, that he can feel the warmth radiating off his body, so hot that it was almost abnormal.
"What?" Jason scoffs, "I'm not blind."
"You've been squinting all day," Leo points out, "I joke around, but I'm not oblivious. So, how blind are you?"
"I'm not blind," Jason repeats, turning his head. Leo's closer than he thought though, and their noses brush for a moment. Jason reels back, not expecting it, and Leo laughs. Something loud, disturbing, and unashamed. A couple heads turn their way, along with a couple sneers. Jason shushes him, but his own smile is splitting across his face with laughter threatening to bubble out of the back of his throat. "I have contacts, but I didn't put them in today."
Leo hums, resuming his prior position, but with a little more distance between their faces. "What about glasses?"
"I have them, but I look stupid in them."
"I think glasses are actually supposed to have the opposite aesthetic effect--"
Leo squeaks when Jason lifts a hand and shoves him back, his squeak developing into chuckles. He settles down on the couch again, head rested against a pillow, and nudges Jason's notebook with his shoe. When Jason still doesn't look up, he does it again, making him draw a shaky pen line across his paper. Jason sighs and turns his head to face him.
"What?"
"Why don't you wear them? Seriously?" Leo's snarky grin has melted away, into a more sincere, curious, look. Jason presses his lips together for a moment. He considers it. He hadn't really thought about it, but he kind of knew the reason. Most of it was his stepmother's influence. The moment the doctor mentioned that Jason might have eyesight issues, she flipped a lid. The idea that Jason, her perfect Jason, could potentially be visually impaired? Not possible.
Of course, though, she wasn't evil, and did take him to the eye doctors to get a prescription assigned to him when he was thirteen. After it'd gotten so bad he'd nearly walked into a wall in front of her. She ordered a pair of glasses that she had stressed were for emergencies only. For the past four years, Jason had only worn his contacts. She'd said that she didn't need any obnoxious kids bullying him at school for being "nerdy". He didn't have the heart to tell her that nobody subscribed to the stereotype that glasses meant you were a nerd anymore. Besides, at the time, he'd thought contacts were pretty cool.
Now, he knew they were just a pain in the ass to deal with.
He kept his glasses on hand, usually shoved in the deep recesses of his football duffel bag on the off-case he lost a contact mid-game and might need them. A scenario like that had never occurred, but he figured he'd rather be safe than sorry. After moving, they'd been abandoned...somewhere. Who knows where. Though, he should probably look when he gets home.
So, while yes, Jason knew that his glasses didn't make him a nerd, they did make him look stupid. He was all set on wearing those if avoidable.
"I told you. I look stupid wearing them."
Leo groans, nudging him again. He's interrupted mid-sentence by Jason whacking his kicking feet with his notebook. "That's not a serious answer--hey! Ow!"
It makes him laugh, as Leo retracts his legs from Jason's legs, hugging them to his chest. As soon as they're gone though, they're back. Jason finds he doesn't really mind anyway.
"One day," Leo announces, holding his finger up to the air, "One day you'll wear them for me."
That earns Leo a half-hearted snort, and Jason only shakes his head. He shifts his computer a little closer and says, "In your dreams."
Leo kicks him again for that.
with the roar of the fire, my heart rose to it's feet
like the ashes of ash i saw rise in the heat
settle soft and as pure as snow
i fell in love with the fire long ago
Jason wakes up to his phone ringing.
It's shoved under his pillow, half-connected to his charger. He wakes up blearily, vision blurry, and his throat slightly sore. His hand emerges from under the covers, patting around lazily until he finally wraps his fingers around his charger and pulls his phone towards his face.
When he turns it on, it's almost blinding. He'd taken too long to pick up his phone, and the call had automatically declined. His wallscreen--a selfie of him in bed, with Piper and Reyna on either side of him, all three of them with the stupid snapchat dog filter on--blinds him. He squints at his phone, as he fumbles to turn the brightness down.
The clock and date reads 10:43PM, SEPTEMBER 13th. Jason had passed out around six, grateful for football to have been cancelled and having no homework. It was supposed to be a casual nap, but it ended up turning into one of those atrocious ones where you woke up sweaty, trapped in the covers, and slightly delirious.
It's only a moment before his phone rings again, the words ATTEMPTED ARSONIST displaying across the top, along with a godawful point-five of Leo in the background. Jason clicks the accept call button and turns it on speaker before settling back down under the covers.
"Hey, do you think you could pick me up?" Leo's voice filters through, small and almost...afraid. It wakes Jason up immediately. He rolls over, taking his phone off the charger. "I know it's late and stuff but I'm kind of stranded."
Jason blinks a couple times, trying to register everything, before climbing out of bed and putting on his slides. "Where are you?" he rasps, voice low and thick with sleep. Leo takes a moment to answer.
"Um, I'm a little bit away from the school. I was at robotics later than I'd intended and I was planning on walking home but, uh, well things are pretty sketch 'round here if you know what I mean."
Jason hums, patting around his bedside table for his contacts, or something. His fingers curl around cool metal, and he winces, but picks it up anyway.
He slides his glasses on, the square-framed gold wire fitting comfortably on his nose. He heads downstairs and grabs his car keys off the keyring. "I'll be there in a few. Stay on the phone, okay?"
"Kay, cool," he can tell Leo's not trying to let his fear get to him. And, despite the rising panic in his chest, he was also trying to remain calm. There were times this had happened to Piper, and he'd been just as worried then. Except, Piper was the young daughter of an influential actor and Leo...well, he was Leo.
But it was also nearly eleven o'clock, and they lived in a town right outside of Houston. He had a reason to be concerned.
It doesn't take long for him to find Leo, sitting on a bench a couple of blocks down from the school. Jason parks, and lets him climb in. Leo's shivering, just a little, but he isn't sure if it's from the mild chill in the air or fear.
"Thanks dude, I owe you, seriously," Leo laughs, his grin a little too wide. "I was walking home and there was this random man watching me from across the street. I ditched him and found a bench, but I thought I was almost a goner."
He continues to laugh--like he didn't almost just die. Jason frowns, turning in the direction of the school. "You should've called me as soon as you realized how late it was."
Leo falters, fingers hovering over the stereo. Jason's eyes still felt thick with sleep, but he knew his way around town fairly well now.
"I didn't want to bother you. My house really isn't that far."
Jason squints at him. Leo hadn't really looked at him, not once. He kept his gaze on his lap, picking at the fraying hem of his pants.
"What about your parents?" Jason sighs, driving past the barely lit school building. He doesn't see any random men about, but that's probably for the better. "Your mom? Your dad?"
Leo stays quiet for a moment. "My mom's out on a work trip in Austin."
"Your dad?" Jason repeats, without thinking. Because, of course, he's an idiot.
And this time, Leo doesn't answer. Instead, he leans on the center console, pressing his fist to his jaw and staring at Jason.
"You're wearing your glasses," he states, "I thought you said you looked stupid in them."
Jason drums his fingers against the steering wheel. He isn't sure where he's going. He'd never been to Leo's home--he didn't even have the faintest idea as to where it was. He was just taking turns when they came up and stopping at signs.
"Yeah, well, when your friend calls you late at night and says they need to be picked up, your first concern isn't putting your contacts in," he points out, glancing at Leo. After a moment, he adds, "And they do look stupid."
"They really don't though," Leo chirps, leaning back against the window. "I think they look nice. All gold and shit. Real rich people stuff."
That makes Jason huff a laugh, a small snarky sound that makes Leo grin. A real one. Not that frantic and afraid one he'd given him when he got in the car. His nimble fingers reach for the stereo again and put on the only non-static channel available. Some old song plays through the car speakers, scratchy and vaguely Sinatra Esque.
Leo taps his fingers along his knees to the beat, something he didn't even seem to realize he was doing. The tapping, the music, and Leo's raspy tenor hum fill the quiet car as Jason turns twisting paths. Leo isn't offering up his address, and Jason realizes, maybe he just doesn't want to go home yet.
Go home to an empty house.
And, hell, if Jason doesn't understand that than he doesn't know who does.
So, he allows himself to drive around a little more. Thalia was sound asleep when he left. She probably won't even realize he'd left unless he tells her, which he supposed he had no reason not to. The songs on the station switch slowly, all old-timey, all stuff most kids wouldn't want to hear during their daytime car rides.
Jason actually kind of likes it. It's calming, in a way, soothing over his heart after the potential scare, he'd just had. Leo doesn't pull out his phone, he doesn't try to fill the silence with chatter, he just follows the beat softly. He stares either out the dashboard to the open road, or at the side of Jason's head.
Occasionally, he'll look over and smile. Then, Leo will smile right back at him, with a look in his eyes that reads, thank you, and Jason feels whole and content and a little stupid.
But when the clock hits eleven-thirty, Jason finally asks, "So what's your address?"
Leo gives it up without fight, leaning his temple against the cool glass of the passenger window. He has his fingers interlaced over his stomach, eyes closed contentedly, while Jason plugs his address into his phone's gps.
Truthfully, Leo didn't live that far from the school. According to this, he lived downtown somewhere. Probably a quaint apartment with his parents--or well, if their previous conversation was anything to go off of--his mother. Jason follows the gps, but doesn't turn down the music.
They arrive within five minutes, and Jason pulls his truck up next to a dented curb. They're outside a mechanic shop, with a flickering sign that reads VALDEZ AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR. Suddenly, some things click in Jason's brain.
Leo was insanely smart, and on the robotics team, probably because he'd grown up his whole life in a mechanics shop. His mother, undoubtedly, was the lead mechanic (if not, the only mechanic) at the little shop on the corner of downtown.
There's a small apartment on top of it, accessible by a rickety metal staircase attached to the side of the building. Leo fiddles with the keys on his beltloop. He turns to Jason, grins, and extends his hand for a fist bump that Jason tiredly returns.
"Thanks," he says again, "and, well, if this hunk of junk ever craps out--I'll fix it. For free. Promise."
"I might just take you up on that offer," Jason huffs, slapping his dashboard. Leo nods, his curls bouncing, and slinks out the passenger door. Jason waits till he sees that Leo's safely made it up the steps, and into the apartment. He waits till he sees a light flick on through one the windows. Then, he takes off for home again.
SEPTEMBER 20th
3:38am
attempted arsonist
do u think people deny murders last mela wish
yk when theyre lik on death row or smth
caus like imagine asking for food befre u die
and theyre like "no" just cu zthey dont wanna get it
yk
4:12am
attempted arsonist
omg i shoudl get a cat
id be a great cat dad right
id be literally the best cat da out here
we should get a cat actualy
and liek co-own it or smth
thatd be sick
wait
no thatd be gnarly
5:02am
the birds have risen and we have school
im a little scerewed
i wish you wernet like responible
and you stayed iup and answered my texts
old ass man
6:41am
Leo what the actual fuck
attempted arsonist
mb i coudlnt' sleep
see u in ten minutes!
You give me high stress levels
aww cmon u know u love me
WOW OK LEAVE ME ON READ U HOE
read at 6:44am ✔️
fingers trace your every outline
paint a picture with my hand
and back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
change the weather, still together when it ends
Jason needs groceries for his house. Like, kind of desperately.
Two days ago, on the 26th, Thalia announced that she was heading out of town and would be back a couple of days after October started. She didn't explain why, just promised to keep him updated and told him she was trusting him not to make stupid decisions. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, then hopped on her motorcycle, and headed off to who knows where.
Jason didn't worry though. She was a fully grown adult who was fully capable of handling herself. Besides, Luke and Zoë had gone with her, so he knew she'd be safe and taken care of if anything were to happen. But, before she'd left, it'd been a little over a week since her last grocery shop.
For the past two days, Jason had been living off fast-food he'd grabbed on the way to and from school, along with a handful of stale crackers he found in the back of the cabinet. Thalia had left him a hundred dollars, seeing as she planned on being gone for a little over a week. He paired with the cash he had saved up, and he figured he had plenty of money to go grocery shopping with and still have a significant amount of cash left.
Except, well, Jason didn't really know how to grocery shop.
The most reasonable person to call would probably be Annabeth. She was a very healthy eater (save for her strange affinity for blueberry scones) and would probably be the best at helping him save money. She was also one of the oldest of all his friends, and easily the most responsible.
Yet he still found himself parked outside of Leo's apartment, watching him dart out the front door of the shop. He wore a white button-up with the odd grease stain here and there, and some tan cargo shorts, still stacked with his usual keychains and keys. He pulled himself up into the passenger seat and shot Jason a sharp grin.
"Trust me," he says, a little breathless, "I am a pro-grocery shopper."
"That makes me not trust you," Jason points out, pulling out of his parking spot and heading for the nearby market basket. "Didn't you tell me one time that your diet consists of hot chips and diet coke?"
Leo quiets for a moment, pressing his lips together and looking around awkwardly. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. If I did--I was fibbing. My mamá makes the absolute best food."
Jason smiles. Leo didn't talk about his family often, but every now and then, he'd say something about his mother. From what Jason gathered, she was a truly lovely woman just terribly busy. She was assumably the sole provider for Leo, things having gone south since her grandfather died and left the family business to her. Now, she was usually off working somewhere or stuck in the shop all day long. Leo's idea of 'family bonding' was working in the shop with her. How he found the time for that, robotics, schoolwork, and being constantly available was beyond Jason.
They pull into the market basket in no time, Jason putting the car and park, grabbing his wallet and keys, and hopping out. Leo follows suit, excitedly grabbing a cart and already ready to go. "You seem too excited for this," Jason laughs, as the two of them head inside.
"I haven't been shopping in a bit, okay?" Leo pouts, stretching over the cart, "My pantry is like the sahara desert."
Jason frowns at the implications of that but decides to let it go. Sometimes, he couldn't tell when Leo was exaggerating or trying to joke about a genuinely serious thing to make it seem like it wasn't as bad. Annabeth told him he had a bad habit of doing that.
They go down the aisles, checking off the things Jason had hastily written down in his notes app. There were things he knew they needed, such as milk, cold cuts, bread, etc...Once he'd gotten those out of the way, Leo had cracked his knuckles and declared that it was his turn.
He guides Jason to the snack aisle with ease, dragging their cart alongside them. Jason knew of a couple snacks from staying with Thalia, mostly whatever she liked, and he ate when he got hungry enough. Back at home, he was only allowed snacks when out with friends. His version of snacks by his parents' standard were baby carrots and ranch or celery and peanut butter.
Jason lets Leo pick out a couple different chip flavors for him to try, and the boy eventually talks him into putting hot chips into the cart. They throw a package of double-stuffed mint oreos in there, and a box of ritz crackers. They add in a six-pack of diet dr.pepper for good measure as well.
When they pass an ingredients aisle, Leo turns and says, "One day I'm going to make you a real Taco."
Jason blinks. "I've had real tacos, Leo."
"No, no, no. I mean a real Taco. Valdez style. Nobody does it better than us. I even have a tofu version!"
That was another thing he'd learned about Leo. He liked to cook. He didn't have the time for it often--or the motivation--but he'd occasionally send their groupchat an image of something he whipped together at one in the morning. Jason would be lying if he said they didn't look delicious.
There were so many things about him Jason didn't know but was slowly figuring out. Either on his own, or through other people, because Leo was a surprisingly secretive person. It wasn't like Piper or Reyna, who he'd seen through every phase so it wasn't even like they could try to keep a secret from him.
Leo was like a puzzle, and he had to put the pieces together to finally see the full picture.
And damn, did Jason want to see the full picture completed.
SEPTEMBER 30TH
4:23pm
attempted arsonist
yo are you going to homecoming
u totes should
Did you just seriously say totes?
attempted arsonist
yes
now answer the wuestion
Um I didn't give it much thought
Probably no
attempted arsonist
WHAT
no bro u have to
i need u to be there it'll be so boring w/o you
besides annie always likes to have a pre-hoco sleepover
andddd thalias not home
so ur house would b pretty sick to host
This feels like an elaborate plot to just use my house
attempted arsonist
well u'll never know if it is or not if u don tgo
besides its the hoco game the night b4
we're all going to support u anyway
which reminds me
what sur jersye #
I'm number 12
And I'll think about homecoming
attempted arsonist
WOOO
k cool
i'm sorry to interrupt, it's just i'm constantly on the cusp
of trying to kiss you
i don't know if you feel the same as i do
but we could be together
if you wanted to
The first day of October, Jason gets a call.
It comes in as he's getting ready for school, shoving his legs through his blue jeans, and nearly tripping over his own feet to answer it in time. He probably should've checked the caller ID before answering, but he never claimed to be smart.
His mother's cold voice cuts through the speaker in an instant, making him go stiff.
"Jason," she greets, "How are you?"
And, even with the two-hour time difference, only a psycho like her would be up at four in the morning. He finishes putting on his pants, tucking his phone between his collarbone and jaw.
"Um, I'm fine. How are you?"
"I'm doing great, thank you. Now, this won't take long I just wanted to tell you something."
He hums noncommittally, eyes scanning his room for his shoes. They're apparently nowhere to be found, and the clock is slowly ticking closer to him being late to school. He'd promised to pick up Leo this morning too, as the weather was beginning to get chillier and Leo was getting too lazy to walk. He shuffles down the stairs, spotting them in the hallway next to his backpack.
As he's tying his shoes, she says, "Well, your father and I have talked. He hasn't gone back on his terms of keeping you there, but I think I'm breaking him down on it. Don't get too cozy there, 'kay? This is all just temporary."
Well, he'd figured this much. Once his father made up his mind, he was incredibly stubborn. It wasn't easy for him to go back on his word. It was too humiliating for him and his ego to admit that he might've been too harsh or, worse, wrong.
He grabs his back and dashes into the garage, climbing into his car. The door creaks when he accidentally slams it shut, causing him to wince. "Okay," he says, half-paying attention, "Sounds good. Can I go? I'm running late."
His stepmother lets out a nasally sigh, clearly ticked off with him. "Almost," she scolds, "Now, Thanksgiving is coming up. My plan for you to be back permanently for Christmas is still my ultimate goal, but I have convinced your father to fly you and Thalia up for Thanksgiving break. The two of you will be having dinner with us. Isn't that just lovely?"
Jason doesn't respond.
He feels too stiff in his seat. He isn't sure if he's breathing
Well, Jason wasn't scared of returning home. Or, well, maybe he was. But only slightly. Only for the chance of his father's overbearing hand slamming into him once more. What he's more scared of, is the inevitable thundering blow out that'll occur between his father and Thalia. If she even agrees to go along with this--which, he highly doubts she will.
"Well, I'll let you go now. See you for the holidays!"
The phone beeps, and he slowly drops it and stares.
Oh.
So, this was just happening he supposed.
Cool, okay. Well, a meeting between Thalia and their parents signified the end of the world but Jason had an AP Lit essay due today, so he probably shouldn't show up too late.
For the rest of the day, his head feels stuffed. He's pretty sure his essay was awful, one of those nerve-wracking timed ones that are never good, but this one was truly just shit. He floats through his day, feeling uncertain the entire time. He skips out on their groups usual study session, opting to go to the gym before football practice instead of after.
On his way to practice, he calls Thalia. When he tells her, she only sighs and dejectedly says, "I know."
Jason was tired of people making decisions for him behind his back.
Notes:
next chapter is fairly good so i hope everyone is still interested in this fic because ik i am!! also with every chapter i write with leo, i fall more and more in love with him. i'm also subscribing to the idea that around leo, jason can act more like a teenage boy with his boy friends (hah...get it?) after his only real friends being girls (piper and reyna) and hera putting standards on him for the longest time. sooo if he seems a little ooc i swear its on purpose
also special shoutout to my pookiebear mel for giving me the last little shopping scenario idea for this chapter, ur a real one for answering me at 1:46am
Chapter 5: the winner takes it all
Notes:
chapter title from "the winner takes it all" by abba
additional lyrics from "jason" by bonnie parker, "sweet creature" by harry styles & "party 4 u" by charlie xcx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
For the first time in a while, Jason feels nervous for his football game.
They have had nearly six football games, all away from home. For the past week, they've been having a rather extravagant spirit week in preparation for the homecoming game and dance. Leo has been non-stop talking about the homecoming court ballot, strategizing ways to rig it so he can make the people he wants win. Jason had sat there through every ploy, nodding along encouragingly.
He knows Leo was fully capable of doing so, but a part of him told him Leo wouldn't. He thinks.
Jason had bought his homecoming ticket three days ago, much to Leo's excitement. He didn't see the appeal of going to a homecoming dance--most of the time, he opted to skip out on them. Or well, he told his stepmother he was going then actually just drove around in his overly expensive suit and listened to music. The ticket was thirty dollars, cheaper than the one at his private school, but that also meant the cost was bound to be lower.
Though, Jason thinks he shouldn't spend so much time worrying about tomorrow's dance when the timer to the start of game is slowly ticking closer.
Thalia had called him earlier, apologizing for the fact that she was still out of town and wouldn't be making it back till Sunday. Jason had just brushed her off. He's only played a couple of times throughout the past couple of days, all of them as wide-receiver, and not for long. They'd been on an undefeated streak so far though, and Thalia kept saying that they were bound to make him play quarterback someday.
As of right now though, Beckendorf was playing the position. He did well in it, but he kept to himself. He devised his attacks cooly but often left others unsure of what was going to happen.
But, for right now, Jason was on the bench.
With his back to the stands, Jason watched as the players began to take the field, slapping each other's backs and shouting their chants. Jason rested his elbows on his knees, chin in the cusp of his palm, and watched. Coach Hedge sat down beside him, adjusting his windbreaker. He held the clipboard in his hands and nudged him. When Jason looks up, there's a hard look in his eye.
"I think I'm going to sub Beckendorf," he announces quietly, like he was sharing top secrets, "He's been off all week and doesn't have his head in the game. I'm going to see how he plays first quarter and if I don't deem it good enough, you're in? Got it, Grace?"
Jason blinks, straightening up immediately. "Um, yes sir, got it."
If Beckendorf fails to provide the team with a quarterback they needed, it would fall on Jason. He feels a little bad, actually. Beckendorf had been put into the position due to his seniority and his captain status. He'd once admitted to him that he didn't even like being quarterback. Back then, it'd made his stomach twist with jealousy. Now, he understands a little more.
So, no, he doesn't wish for Beckendorf to do poorly. Except, well, maybe a part of him kind of does, but truthfully, he just hopes the guy is okay. He knows he was having issues with Silena, and a lot was riding on their relationship this weekend. He didn't know the details, but it had something to do with the bulky girl from the wrestling team. Beckendorf didn't talk much about his personal issues, but locker room stories went a long way.
Jason's eyes slide over to the group of cheerleaders on the track. Silena stood at the front of them, her long black hair pulled up into a bouncing ponytail. Her face was dotted with orange, and her pom-poms didn't stop shaking, but he could see the way her eyes nervously flit between Beckendorf on the field and Clarisse in the stands. Like she was afraid they might jump each other for just being nearby.
Next to her stood Calypso, her honey-colored hair pulled into a braid with a sparkling white bow. Connor sat on the bench beside him, technically on the jv team, but the most common sub for the varsity team when somebody got injured. His eyes kept drifting over to Calypso, like he wanted to go over and talk to her. Jason thinks what Travis had said two months ago was right--about him still not over her breaking up with him.
Jason, briefly, wondered what that felt like. He doesn't get too long to dwell on it though, because soon enough the coin toss happened, and his team was taking the defensive.
The first quarter is a fairly even match, but his school still lost. They were down two points, still recoverable. Jason watched as attentively as he could, paying attention to the opponents. If was going to get subbed in, he wanted to make sure he knew who he was up against. Even though those chances had seemed slim at the time.
Halfway through the second quarter, Beckendorf wasn't doing too well. His passes kept falling short, and every time he tried advance yard lines, he was consistently getting pummeled. After each drop, Beckendorf would shake the sides of his helmet, as if he was trying to physically snap himself out his stupor. Each movement he took looked like it took large amounts of effort, and steadily, the other team had gained ten points by the time halftime was called. The current score was 8 to 20.
Things were looking terribly bleak. Nobody wanted to lose their homecoming game. Especially, not at the expense of one player. When half-time timer starts, Coach Hedge ushers them off the field, looking conflicted. Jason stumbles to stay behind, walking past Annabeth as she leads out the marching band for their show. She sends him a sad smile as he tells her good luck.
She wasn't the one who needed it though.
They get in the locker room, everyone plopping down on their benches. Jason finds his usual spot next to Frank, whose face was tinged pink and drenched with sweat. Frank would be coming with everyone else to his house afterwards, and Jason didn't want him to feel down because he was a part of the losing team. Coach Hedge stands in front of them, the edge of his clipboard pressing into his stomach, and with a stoney look on his face.
"Beckendorf," he says, "I'm subbing you out for the rest of the game. You need to pull yourself together. You don't let your personal issues effect your playing, got it?"
The captain gives a nod, his head hung low. With his helmet off, Jason can see just how much he'd exerted himself. Frank reaches out and claps a hand on his shoulder, but Beckendorf only shrugs it off. Jason feels a sense of guilt building in his chest. A couple other plays survey the room, trying to speculate who's going to play in Beckendorf's place.
It doesn't take long for them to find out.
"Grace, you're going to be our quarterback from this point on. Don't make me regret it."
The room is silent for a moment, but Jason nods. He looks around, taking in the faces around him, and says, "Yes sir."
After that, they're welcomed back on the field. The marching band is still performing, and Jason tries to keep his eyes on Annabeth conducting on the podium instead of focusing on the swirling pit in his stomach. Back in California, football games had never been this nerve-wracking. Then again, his coach had never put that much pressure on him.
Annabeth does her final cut-off, and under the stadium lights, her face is glowing with pride.
Jason wants to feel that tonight, almost desperately.
His eyes flit back towards the scoreboard. He needed to earn twelve points to get it to a tie, assuming the other team doesn't gain any. The odds seemed damn near impossible, but Jason was going to fight it. He was going to fight it until his muscles ached and his head swam, but he was determined to win.
Jason Grace refuses to crack under pressure.
As the marching band marches off, Jason zeroes in on the field. Frank comes up to him, slapping their hands together into an almost-aggressive hug before taking his position on the field. They were playing offense, meaning this was one of Jason's best chances to gain back their missing points. He takes up Beckendorf's former spot on the field, drinking in the surprise on his opponents faces. They didn't know him, they couldn't guess how he worked.
Jason smirked as he dropped into his crouch.
Over the loudspeakers, the announcers voice filters through.
"During half-time, Coach Hedge has made the decision to sub out player one, Beckendorf. Give your hands to quarterback, number twelve, Jason Grace."
There's silence for a moment, and Jason's heart feels like it might be made of lead. Then, there's cheering. And a shit ton of it. From the sidelines, Beckendorf is grinning at him. Even though he's slumped on the bench, he gives Jason a shaking thumbs up. Jason's eyes lift and look past him. There, leaning against the metal chain link, is Leo. He has a wide grin on his face, and orange and black stripes on his cheeks. He's at the front of the crowd, and Jason finds his eyes. Leo's mouth opens, cheering something soundless that blends with the rest of the crowd. Beside him, Will claps enthusiastically.
Suddenly, Jason feels like there's a lot more riding on this game than Coach Hedge's opinion.
Within the next seven minutes, Jason's team scores a touchdown. He throws the ball back to Travis, who sprints around the edge of tacklers and leads the entire team chasing after him. He can hear Travis laughing the entire time he's chased, which makes him laugh. But, Travis' inhumane speed only helps for so long against a team of eleven players. He manages to throw the ball across the field to Lityerses, right before he gets tackled to the ground, and Lityerses makes the score.
The crowd screams, jumping out of their seats. The other team though, doesn't seem too worried. They still had six points till they were tied, and they needed more than that to win. He hears the band play something, Annabeth scrambling to conduct whilst trying to keep an eye on the game.
The team resets, and calls a quick huddle. They gather round, arms thrown around each others back.
"I know I'm not the usual QB, but---we need to win this. For homecoming tomorrow. So, whatever I do, you go with it, got it? I'm going to give all of you as many opportunities to score points as I can. No matter how small a point may seem. Take each opportunity because that's the only way we're winning this. Got it?"
There's a chorus of assents, and he taps the backs of the people next to him before splitting from the huddle. He wipes at his face, smearing his eye black, and Frank comes up to him.
"You're doing great," Frank says, smiling at him. "I'm glad you're our quarterback."
Jason laughs, shoving his helmet back down on his head. "Thanks, but it's only temporary."
Frank squints at him like he wants to argue but just shakes his head and jogs over to his starting position. They still had the rest of this quarter and the next one to gain as many points as possible. Things still felt difficult, but they were a little more in reach this time.
But his doubts don't stay for long. Following their touchdown, they get a field goal, and one PAT to follow it. Which gives them a total of ten points added to their tally, leaving them at a score of eighteen to the other teams twenty. Quickly, the following team seems to realize that they need to really hone in. With his teammates in front of him, Jason can see their glares directed at him.
The opposite team scores a two-point conversion, putting four points between them, right as the third quarter ends. Jason huffs, and wipes at the sweat gathering on his lip. Four points is a lot different compared to twelve, he reminds himself. He was going to win this, somehow. It felt twisted, knowing he'd stolen the homecoming game right out from Beckendorf's feet, but at the same time, everything had felt right.
His team huddles by bench for a moment, using the few sparce minutes before the final quarter starts to strategize. Coach Hedge claps his back hard, making his skin sting in a way that felt good. His whistle bounced against his chest. Once you got Coach Hedge excited, it was hard to keep him still. He bounced from player to player, smacking them around in some manner that was meant to be encouraging. Because, well, that's just how Coach Hedge was.
With their arms slung around each other, Jason felt like he was truly apart of his team. Frank's strong arm against his neck, and Travis' palm cupping his back. Everyone wore excited grins. Normally, they'd all be so focused on getting those four points back. Except, this time, they didn't seem too worried about it. Victory was in reach, dangled in front of them. So close, they could almost taste it.
It makes Jason realize--he'd been succeeding.
As a quarterback, he'd done his job. He was scoring points for the team, advancing them across the field, and communicating strategic plans to them to ensure a win. He was proving himself worthy of this position.
It made him feel proud of himself for once. A strange, unfamiliar, but welcome feeling.
"Listen up boys," Coach Hedge shouts, face red and splotchy, "We can win this. You gotta get all your heads on that field. Push as hard as you can, fight as much as you need to. This is your game. You want to have a good homecoming right? Don't you? So you better win."
Jason thinks Coach Hedge might need to work on his speeches, but the boys around him cheer, shoving and pushing each other. Fingers jabbing at ribs. Laughter ringing loud in his ears. Jason's heart pounds in his ears, blood rushing.
It was just a high school football game, he reminds himself, he shouldn't be this moved. This excited. This hyped up.
That's probably what his father would say. He'd see the adrenaline, the energy, the comradery, and scoff. He'd wrinkle his nose and wave his hand, like everything was beneath him, because in his world it probably was. He'd say something or the other about how Jason shouldn't waste himself with people below him. His father never understood the meaning of team was anyway.
But, Jason's father wasn't here right now.
His friends were.
Quarter four starts.
Jason hardly remembers it. Everything was a blur. All his senses had been on high alert. He felt like he'd been recharged, as if struck by lightning. Every nerve in his body had been alight. He'd passed the ball to Frank, who'd zipped through the other teams frontlines but was tackled by a beast of a boy in a matter of seconds. They brushed that one off, and reset. Five more points to gain then.
It doesn't matter though, because their team gets to kick. A junior boy, Ethan, is their kicker. He sends the ball through the posts and earns them three more points. 21 to 23.
The clock is growing smaller, the stress levels rising. Jason huffs, seeing his own breath come out in smoke around him. They reset. They have around four minutes left. Four minutes till they either let the whole school down or win their senior homecoming game.
The ball is passed back to Jason, who's twisting to send it to Connor. It sails through the air, spiraling. Connor catches it with ease, taking off down the field so he could send it to Frank. Just as he's about to toss it though, a whistle cuts through the air.
For a moment, everything goes quiet. Then, there's the smallest of whimpers.
Jason's eyes search the field to find Lityerses on the ground, propped up on his elbows as he stares down at his leg. It didn't look too awful till Jason got closer and found that it was bent at an entirely wrong angle. The crowd gasped at the same time he did, a mournful hush settling over them. An older man rushed out from the stands, a teen girl that Jason had seen before at school following close behind.
It was like time had stopped, as they drag Lityerses groaning body off to the side of the field. They can't stop the game just because of him, unfortunately. Jason headed over, kneeling by him as his sister pressed a rag to his sweaty face.
"You did good out there," he tells him, making Lityerses smirk.
"I always do, Grace. Now go fuckin' win or somethin'."
That makes him laugh, and he jogs back over to his spot on the field. Lityerses was determined to watch until the ambulance got here, he supposed, as his father fretted with Coach Hedge. Jason turns his attention back to the matter of hand. Three minutes now. The stakes were high--even for just a high school game. These things were important, but especially important for his team. One, it meant they didn't lose for their homecoming. Two, it meant they advanced in the round and got closer to finals.
Both things were equally important.
For the rest of the quarter, the clock is the biggest thing on Jason's mind. It feels impossible to focus on his plays, with his eyes constantly reverting back to the clock. In his ears, he can hear his own pounding heartbeat, and the rush of blood as he sprints across the turf.
Every move he makes feels like it’s been slowed down, not nearly fast enough to win. It makes every breath he tries to take difficult, feeling raw and exposed, like someone had reached through his h chest and grabbed his lungs.
Every few seconds, his eyes would flit back to the stands. He’d see Will, one fist pumping the air, the other cupped around his mouth. He’d see Annabeth, curls wild and her hands moving orderly as she peers at him over her shoulder. He sees Leo, who was watching the game with a quiet gaze, but everytime he looked back, Leo was looking right at him.
Jason crouches, and he sees the next few moments of the world as if they’d come to him in slideshow format.
The ball is tossed back, fitting into his gloved hands perfectly. He throws it to Frank, who catches firm, and begins to run. Jason pushes himself from his crouched position, scooting past the tacklers, and sprinting downfield.
Frank sends the ball soaring through the air to Travis, who has to leap upwards to catch it. It bounces in his finger tips for a moment, and there’s a gasp sent out amongst the crowd until Travis starts cheering and runs for the end zone.
The tacklers chase after him, around four or five on his tail. Travis’ eyes survey the area, until they eventually land on Jason.
Jason had been prepared to be there in case the other team got the ball back—not as the winning last resort.
Travis shouts something that Jason can’t hear over the crowd, but it’s enough to make him move. His legs push further than they ever had before, toes digging into the ground. Each step feels like he might tip and fall over, and finally go crashing to the ground. He does his best not to focus on that, but instead, the yardlines and the ball aimed for just a little bit in front of him.
The thirty, the twenty, the ten.
Jason’s feet slide, his body twisted to catch the ball. He looks down for a moment, and sees somebody barreling towards him. His eyes go between the ball and the football player headed for his gut.
And, all he can do is pray he has more time.
As the opposing teams player barrels at him, he waits. Waits till he’s only a foot away, and spins on his left foot. The player manages to catch his ankle, causing them both to tumble and go sprawling into the end zone.
Not before Jason can wrap his fingers around the ball though.
It seems like everything goes quiet, but then fingers are grasping at his back and yanking him up. Coach Hedge’s meaty fingers grab at his wrist, hoisting it upwards to show his iron-grasp on the ball to the crowd.
And they just explode.
Jason’s chest feels light and airy as his teammates rush him, shoving and jabbing. He spends a minute with them before sprinting for the stands.
It only takes him a second to crawl up the side of the stands, feet perched on the risen pavement, hoisting himself up by the chain.
Leo’s laughter fills his ears, and his hands grab at Jason’s shoulders to shake him.
“That was insane!” he screams, “What are you? Superman? You fuckin’ flew!”
That makes Jason beam, something shining and all bared teeth. Will gives him a high-five, practically glowing under the stadium lights.
Annabeth’s busy conducting the school anthem as the crowd pushes out, but she sends him a look that seems to say, “Not bad, Grace.”
But then Leo’s grabbing him again, fingers dug into the fabric of his jersey, and raving about the games outcome.
And well, right then, nothing really mattered. Because, Leo’s laughing, his touch warm on Jason’s skin. And Jason’s smiling, the happiest he’s been all season.
In this moment, everything just feels right.
jason, i’ll be cheering for you
as you win the big game
i look to you with glassy eyes
as as you rejoice in the fame
The car ride back to Jason's house is loud. So loud, he can barely hear himself think.
He thinks there must've been multiple times he nearly drove off the side of the road, and probably caused some major concern, due to the rowdiness of his poor truck. They'd definitely overstuffed it, with Jason and Leo in the front and Will, Annabeth, and Frank shoved in the back.
All their stuff was in the truck bed, covered loosely with a tarp and a prayer that they'll stay in place. So, while it wasn't technically overstuffed--it certainly felt like it was.
The radio played some country song, mostly drowned out by Will screaming along to the lyrics like his life depended on it. All the windows were down too, carrying his scratchy voice to passersby. Every now and then, a song Annabeth knew would come on, and she'd join him with her softer more reserved voice.
Leo tried to sing along too, but he didn't know the words, so his singing was more of a loud gibberish that filled Jason's ears mostly.
When they finally got home, Frank claimed the first shower while Jason set things up. Reasonably, he should've done this before he left this morning, but he hadn't really been thinking.
Will helps him lug the dusty air mattresses out of the garage and up the two flights of stairs it takes to get to Jason's bedroom while Annabeth searches the hallway closet for sheets and extra blankets.
And Leo, well, he sits on Jason's bed and watches.
"You know, you could help a little," Will grunts, shoving the second mattress up the last step. "It's not like you've extended yourself much today."
Leo rests his chin in his palms, socked feet kicking behind his back. "Maybe--but I'm not sleeping on that thing so."
Will squints at him as Jason unfurls the extension cord, only half-paying attention to their conversation.
"Then where are you sleeping? The couch?"
Leo shakes his head, curls bouncing. Jason begins to inflate the first mattress just as Leo says, "Nah, I'm sleeping with Jason."
The room seems to pause, before Jason whips up his head and asks, "When did we decide that?"
"We didn't!" Leo chirps cheerily, as Annabeth emerges with two sheets and a knitted throw blanket. "I did."
Jason could argue, and he knows that Leo would listen if he felt truly uncomfortable. But, truth was, he didn't feel uncomfortable. This was Jason's first sleepover, or at least, his first one that hadn't consisted of him and Thalia building messy blanket forts in the closet when they were young. Piper and Reyna had only been allowed over till nine, and Jason hadn't bothered with sleepovers before this.
It wasn't like he had much of a choice for this one though. Not that he was complaining.
His fingers pull out the plug of the pump and quickly caps the mattress. He gives it a smack, just to make sure it's firm and won't deflate, before taking the first sheet from Annabeth. They'd previously decided that Annabeth and Will would share a mattress, and Frank and Leo would share the second one. Or well, until Leo personally decided to share with Jason instead.
It wasn't like Frank was going to complain. Frank didn't necessarily fit in with the rest of their friend group, but he also didn't fit in with most of the other people at school. He was just as much the 'new kid' as Jason was. Frank and Leo also got on each other's nerves a lot, so this decision was probably for the better in the long run.
A couple of minutes later, Frank emerges from the bathroom and Leo breaks the news. He snorts and mutters, "Good riddance," and begins to help Annabeth make his bed.
Jason then speed-runs his shower, not sure how comfortable he felt leaving four rowdy teenagers alone in his bedroom. But then again, Annabeth had a way of tightening the reigns. He comes back, wearing some loose blue basketball shorts and a grey t-shirt. In his absence, his friends have made themselves comfortable. Frank's air mattress has a bunch of old dusted blankets and a beaten-up pillow, but he seemed comfortable enough, with his chin rested on the pillow as he watched something on his phone.
Annabeth sat on the edge of her air mattress, with Will's head leaning against her knees as she braided through his hair.
"Who wants snacks?" he asks, when none of them noticed his presence, "I just went shopping not too long ago--"
There's a chorus of shouts, Will perking up and effectively ruining the french braid Annabeth was attempting on his short hair. She gently slaps the side of his bed, and he settles back down sheepishly. Frank grins and says, "I won't object to snacks."
Leo slides off the bed, having changed into grey sweats and a ragged band shirt at some point. "Lemme come with you," he says.
Jason accepts, only because he doesn't really think he has a choice whether or not Leo comes with him, and heads down to the kitchen. Leo is the first to raid the pantry, offering endless commentary on his thoughts. Jason half-listens, busy pulling out water bottles and fruit cartons from the fridge.
"Have you ever had a sleepover before?" Leo asks, sliding up next to him. He places a wrinkled bag of chips.
"No," Jason admits, "Is it obvious?"
Leo grins. "A little, but I can't really shame you for it. This is only like my third one."
That surprises him. Leo didn't seem to have many friends, but he knew everyone. He was the type of guy to go up to a random table at lunch and be able to fit in with them fine. But none of them were really his friend. Jason understood that feeling, knowing everyone liked you but not enough to actually know you. Maybe it was part of how him and Leo got along so well.
"You haven't?" he asks, just to make sure he was understanding right. Leo nods, pressing his lips together in a tight smile.
"Nope. I had one with Will a couple of years ago, before his mom stopped coming around. I was also at Annabeth's homecoming sleepover last year but it was just me, her, and Will."
Jason had known that Will and Leo were friends for a long time. They were the only native Texans of the group and had become friends at some point in middle school. Then, when Will's mom started touring more and showing up at home less, Will started spending most nights over at Annabeth's house due to an arrangement between their parents. That's how the three of them formed their little trio, before Jason and Frank showed up.
"You seem like the kind of guy who would like sleepovers," Jason comments softly, as Leo returns to the pantry. "It's right up your alley."
"That's cause you're right. I do like them. Just too embarrassed to ask for them to happen," Leo says, a little bashful, as he emerges with a half-eaten roll of oreos.
"You pushed for this sleepover," Jason points out, opening up a water bottle and taking a sip.
Leo pauses for a moment, hands hovering over the oreo roll, before he looks up towards Jason. He has a small smile on his face, something that flutter around in Jason's chest, and weakly mutters, "You don't make me feel embarrassed."
For a moment, Jason doesn't know what to say. Anything he thinks he could say, doesn't feel right for a moment. So instead, he just scoffs and moves on.
"C'mon," he says, "help me carry this stuff upstairs."
The rest of the night passes relatively quickly. Leo forces them all into a couple half-assed rounds of charades and wins a majority of them as well. By around midnight, most of their snacks have been eaten, left on Jason's dresser. Annabeth has finished braiding through Will's hair and has moved on to trying to convince Leo to let her do his hair as well.
He refuses with a shake of his head, coils of brown bouncing, and says, "Nah I gotta keep them intact for homecoming tomorrow."
They play a couple rounds of uno, until Annabeth keeps managing to strategically win in a game of luck, and they all give up on her. For Jason's first sleepover, he's content. It's relaxed, and happy. Nobody's expecting him to be this insanely cool host. He can just...be. It felt really, truly, nice. Especially following the stress of the football game. In all honesty, Jason was just glad it was over.
When the clock hits two in the morning, the group does decide to call it quits. They'd rather not have dull skin and eye bags for homecoming, or well, Leo didn't. Annabeth and Will struggle over their blanket for five minutes, until Will eventually decides he'll suffer and be cold with only a portion of it covering him. Frank mutters a goodnight, before turning over and falling asleep in a matter of minutes. His quiet snores begin to fill the room, making Leo snicker beside him.
Leo had initially turned his back to him, curled up with two of Jason's best blankets. But after Will and Annabeth had eventually drifted off, he shifted and turned to face Jason.
"Are you excited for homecoming?" he whispers, his eyes almost glowing like candlelight. His fingers peak out from over the blankets he was holding up to his mouth.
Jason considers it. He hadn't initially, only buying the ticket to get Leo to stop begging him to go. But he couldn't say he wasn't excited. Apprehensive, yes. Nervous, maybe a little. Decidedly though, he doesn't think he'll regret buying the ticket.
"I guess," he responds, one arm shoved under his pillow. "I didn't think about it too hard."
He knows these things mattered to Leo. Having fun and enjoying senior year and whatnot. He thinks, if he was back home with Piper and Reyna, it would be a bigger deal. Even after winning the homecoming game and becoming the team's official quarterback, he still doesn't associate Goose Creek Memorial as his high school. Just a place he was staying at temporarily till he could truly go home.
"You're an odd individual," Leo says after a beat, "I don't understand you."
Jason squints at him, shoving his shoulder lightly and making him laugh. "You don't need to understand me."
After a second, Leo settles back against the pillow, turning to face the ceiling. His voice goes soft, filled with an emotion Jason couldn't place, and he murmurs, "Maybe not."
Jason decides not to dwell on that.
Instead, he waits till Leo's breathing evens out and shifts on his side to face him.
Leo sleeps curled up, even when he's on his back. His knees are bent, brushing Jason's thigh, one arm held protectively to his chest and the other clutching the blanket. Jason wasn't sure how he felt about the other boy. It was a strong feeling, he was sure of that, but an undecided one. Part of him wanted to push him away, to scoff and laugh off his jokes, and hold him out at an arms length like everyone else. Another part of him wanted to take him close, press their backs together, have late night calls and deep conversations. That part of him wanted to make Leo his best friend, put him up on the same pedestal he held Piper and Reyna on--maybe even further.
Because there was a part of Leo that just seemed to understand him. Past the jokes, the false ego, the never-ending energy he held, there was a boy in there who reminded Jason of himself. A boy who's parents weren't home often. A boy who had friends, but didn't feel welcome. A boy who constantly worried about overstepping a boundary.
But Leo was bound for great things. He was insanely smart, a genius even. It was boggling that nobody had discovered him yet, that none of their teachers had looked at him and finally took him seriously. He was no doubt the brightest kid in their grade--second only to Annabeth. Even then, it was just a matter of the fact that Annabeth was well-rounded at everything, but Leo seriously excelled in math.
One time, Leo had dropped that he'd been offered an internship at the Johnson Space Center in Houston but didn't have the money to cover the costs. He'd said it so casually, like it was something that just happened to anybody.
So no, Jason wasn't sure how he felt about him. Maybe it was partly jealousy, knowing Leo was so naturally gifted whereas he was not. Jason was bound to grow up and become whatever his parents wanted him to be. An athlete, a corporate CEO, anything that would make him rich and famous. Anything to rebrand the 'Grace' name that his mother had so carelessly tarnished all those years ago.
Jason remembered very few bits and pieces of his mother. He remembers faintly a memory of her when she was sober. Her hair neatly coiled, her lips painted pink. The way she used to pick him up and bounce him, laughing along with him as Thalia stood by her side. He remembers how beautiful she used to be, how perfect she looked pinned against his father's side.
But eventually, he left her. Or well, she was never his to begin with. Hera had always been there, a prick in the back of his father's mind, a woman he'd always undoubtedly return to. When his father left his mother, she'd been utterly destroyed. She was once a wonderful actor, all glamor and smiles, but all that had left her when he did.
When Jason saw her, which had become rare, she was drunk more often than she was sober. Her once lovely Hollywood mansion had turned to trash. She'd gotten fired from nearly all her projects, and they'd been forcefully moved into a crappy apartment in L.A. Jason doesn't remember much about that either, but Thalia had, and she was the one who eventually called dad and begged him to take them.
Jason ever wonders if she regrets that decision. After all, if she hadn't called him to pick them up, their mother wouldn't have drunkenly gone to return them. She wouldn't have slammed her foot on the gas and killed herself and a bystander in an explosive crash.
But Thalia never liked to talk about it, and Jason understood why.
Beside him, Leo stirs, one of his arms reaching out and hitting Jason's shoulder. It forces a smile on his face, and he slips into a dreamless sleep.
had another talk about where it's going wrong
but we're still young
we don't know where we're going
but we know where we belong
They spend half the morning (or well, afternoon, considering most of them wake up at noon) on their respective beds, scrolling through their socials until somebody finally decides that they should probably start getting ready. At around three, Annabeth pulls herself off the air mattress and decides to claim the bathroom as her getting ready area.
That leaves the four of them to argue about who gets to change first. Though, they don't actually change till an hour later.
Jason decides to opt out of changing first, even going as far to offer to go last. But, of course, he doesn't get his wish because Leo also insists on going last.
In the end, Frank gets peer-pressured into changing first. The rest of them go downstairs, piling on the couch, and wait for him to return. He's wearing a simple white button up with black slacks and has a loose royal purple cardigan draped on top. He fiddles with his tie for a moment, before giving up and ditching it. He didn't do anything spectacular with his hair either. It was pretty casual, and made Jason feel better about his own lack of suit.
Will goes next, still trying to take out the braids Annabeth had put in his hair. When he returns, he's wearing tan slacks, a white button-up, and a tan suit-jacket. He rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck, which causes Leo to whistle at him, and make Frank and Jason laugh.
Jason laughs until he realizes that he's next.
They shove him up the stairs, and when he finally gets into the quiet of his room, he realizes he still wasn't exactly sure what he was going to wear.
He'd left all his actually fancy clothes at home in California, the prospect of homecoming or even prom skipping his mind. He heads over to his closet, digging through his closet until he finds a light blue button-up. He pulls it off the hanger, and puts it on, deciding it was probably one of the nicer things he owned. He then finds a pair of slightly wrinkled white slacks in the bottom of his dresser. He hadn't even recalled packing those.
Though, it is unsurprising when he discovers he hadn't brought any dress shoes. So, he opts for his white air forces and hopes for the best. Before he walks downstairs, he opens his phone and inspects his appearance.
Then, in a split-second probably poor decision, he pops the first couple buttons of his shirt and rolls the sleeves up to his elbows.
When he walks downstairs, his friends cheer. He doesn't even think they've gotten a decent look at him before they cheer, all good-natured and joking. When their claps die down, someone lets out a quiet, "Damn."
He snorts, muffing the sound into his wrist. He heads over to the couch, shoving at their heads. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go change Leo."
Leo stands from the couch, exaggeratingly cracking his back, and announcing that beauty takes time, and they may need to wait a bit.
Once he's gone, an odd silence settles over the room. In the background, they can faintly hear Annabeth's phone playing music from the bathroom. After a beat, Jason asks, "How does homecoming work?"
Will spins in his seat, squinting at him. He splutters and asks, "You don't know how hoco works?" to which Jason shakes his head and settles down on the couch. Piper had shown him pictures in the past, but they'd never excited him much. It was just another school party, of which they had dozens. He had planned on going to his senior prom and hoco, if only for the fact Piper wanted him to, and it was probably good that he attends at least his senior year dances.
Well, he supposed he was still going to them. Just in a different school and state a little over a thousand miles away.
"It's actually a little lame," Frank finally says, running a hand through his hair, "It's in the cafeteria and gym, and there's like...shitty snacks and stuff and music. Mostly just an event for socials."
Will nods, like Frank had said some wise knowledge. "Yeah, it gets better when you're an upper classman though. When I was a freshman, I felt so out of place. Annabeth and Leo were my only saving graces."
Frank shrugs, fiddling with the buttons of his cardigan. He has his tie wrapped around his knuckles; he supposed just in case he wanted to put it on in the end. He might've honestly just been waiting for Annabeth to emerge from the bathroom to help him with it. "My friends back in Canada always made a big deal out of prom."
"Annabeth invited me to prom last year, and it was a lot better," Will says, flinging on arm over the back of the sofa. Will and Frank were only juniors, but somehow, more experienced than Jason.
"I've never been to prom either," he admits, almost sheepishly, "I didn't go to a single school dance in California."
"Did you go to a military school or something?"
Leo's voice filters through their conversation, absolutely baffled. Jason's head snaps around, and he swallows thickly. Leo has a clean brown set up on. He has deep brown slacks and a deep brown suit-jacket, with a crisp white button up underneath. On his wrist is glinting gold watch that hadn't been there before, and honestly, seemed a little too big for his wrist.
He looked good. Briefly, he registers Frank and Will's claps.
Jason doesn't say that though. Instead, he gestures to the watch and asks, "Where'd you get that?"
Leo fiddles with it a little, adjusting it on his boney wrist. "It's my dad's," he says quietly, like a piece of information he wasn't quite ready to offer up.
"Well, it looks nice," Jason says, and after a second, "You look nice."
That brings Leo's grin back, and he bounds over to the edge of the couch, leaning against it. Jason smells something woodsy, and a faint hint of cinnamon. It makes him almost light-headed, but not in an overly pungent way but in a good way. If that made any sense. He turns to Jason, his curls artfully falling across his face. "So, what's this I hear about never being to a school dance?"
Jason shrugs, almost feeling embarrassed to have the attention on him again. Normally, he didn't mind eyes on him. If anything, he was used to it. He just felt odd now, almost like he could sink back into the leather of the couch.
"I always skipped them and drove around San Francisco Bay instead. They didn't seem worth my time," he explains, focusing on the glinting gold of Leo's watch instead of their eyes.
"Oh what? Are you too good for a small rinky-dink high school hoco?" Leo asks, leaning close and squinting at him. Something mischievous sparkles in his brown eyes, and Jason isn’t quite sure where to look. His eyes, the careful tilt of his head, the slope of his jaw, the pink of his lips.
Will chuckles, pushing Leo back and quips back a joke Jason doesn't register.
He comes back to himself when Annabeth emerges from the bathroom, sarcastically asking if they were done with their fashion show.
She's wearing a deep orangey-red slip dress with a neck scarf that dips to her lower back. She has gold arm bands and all sorts of different gold jewelry. Her hair is refreshed, perfectly bouncy and defined. Jason smiles at her, thankful for her presence, as she walks closer to them.
"You look pretty," Will beams first, leaning against his fist. "Have you shown Percy yet?"
Jason doesn't know who Percy is, but Annabeth flushes a little and shakes her head fondly. "No, I figured we could take group pictures first. I have my camera, and I know a good spot."
"Is that why you made us get ready so early?" Frank asks, looking up from his phone.
Annabeth smiles and tilts her head. "Guilty as charged. Now let's go! If we leave now, we'll have time to get food before we get to hoco."
Photos go relatively well. Annabeth seems to enjoy bossing them around into different poses. They'd found a relatively reclusive side of one of Baytown's many beaches to take their pictures in. She also stresses the importance of candid photos, but it only makes Jason feel silly as he tries to look out longingly (her words, not his) at the coast.
Will's the one who ends up taking her pictures, as the rest of them could barely fumble their way around the camera to find the on button. She knows how to pose naturally, not even flinching when the flash goes off. Meanwhile, Leo lists of different fast-food chains they could stop at.
In the end, Frank was right. Homecoming was mostly just a social event. He'd seen everyone's pre-hoco instagram photos before they'd even arrived at the dance. Or well, he listened to Will and Leo gossip over them in the truck's backseat while Annabeth and Frank went in and ordered their food from Wendys. The actual dance was okay, though, he spent most of it sipping on water in the cafeteria while his friends danced in the gym.
Every now and then they'd run over to him, stealing sips of his water, and ask if he was okay. When he assured them he was, they'd smile and ask him to dance. Which, he always said no to. After that, they'd shrug as if it was his loss, and dip back into the mass of bodies.
By the end of the night, he can't say he regretted going but really only for the sleepover that happened beforehand. The more time he spends with the people here, the more he enjoys it. The more he's able to relax and feel like himself again. So while, yes, the dance itself was boring and borderline self-isolating, he doesn't regret going.
i only threw this party for you
if you saw my tears, would you touch me
kiss me on the mouth, say you love me
leave me a message, tell me you're sorry
[ An instagram post from Annabeth’s account. There’s four photos all lined with white borders. The post is tagged with the song: “Maneater” by Daryl Hall & John Oaks ]
[ Photo One: A picture from Annabeth on the beach, her body turned and one hand messing with her hair as she looks at the camera over her shoulder ]
[ Photo Two: A group picture of Annabeth, Frank, Jason, Will, and Leo in a line Annabeth in the middle. They all have their arms around each others backs and are smiling at the camera ]
[ Photo Three: The picture is very similar to the phone shown prior, except this time everyone seems to be in the middle of laughing ]
[ Photo Four: A back-camera photo of Annabeth, Will, and Leo all grinning up at the camera whilst in the gymnasium ]
@chaseanna: senior year homecoming complete :) onto better things soon
@valdeez, @w1lls0lace, @archerfrank, @jasongrace
—
[ An instagram story from Leo’s account. It’s a video of him in the back of Jason’s truck, demolishing a wendy’s triple burger. In the background, you can hear Jason’s laughter, and the camera shakes as if the person recording was also barely containing their laughter. The caption reads: the best part of hoco was the pre-game meal ]
—
[ Will’s instagram post on his private account. It consists of seven photos, vastly different from Annabeth’s. It’s tagged with the audio “Best Song Ever” by One Direction ]
[ Photo One: A point five of Leo, his eyes squinted and mouth frowning as if he’d been shocked by the flash ]
[ Photo Two: Will and Annabeth on the air mattress, Annabeth’s hair in a pink bonnet while Will’s are braided, as they make a kissy face at the camera ]
[ Photo Three: A picture of Jason trying to be a tree during charades. His arms are raised over his head, and he’s smiling weakly at the camera ]
[ Photo Four: A picture of Frank and Will smiling at the camera whilst at the beach. Meanwhile, in the background you can see Leo running along the sand trying to avoid getting hit by a wave. Jason’s laughing at him from a few feet away ]
[ Photo Five: A picture of Annabeth while she was still getting ready, half her hair drenched and straight while the other half is carefully curled. One finger is stuck in her hair while the other is trying to block her face from the camera ]
[ Photo Six: A faraway photo of Jason sitting alone in the cafeteria, dejectedly looking down at the water bottle in his hands ]
[ Video: It’s a blurry video of the floor before it snaps up and shows Will and Leo standing amongst the crowd. After a beat, they do a choreographed dance which is soon recognized as the living room routine from the movie Perks of Being A Wallflower, with Will playing as Sam and Leo as Patrick ]
@w1lls0lace: Three out of four homecomings complete! One more to go :D
Notes:
looking back this chapter was RIDICULOUSLY hard for me to write but seeing the reactions to the plot idea of tumblr ppl encouraged me to push through
also, i think the posts at the end kind of shows that jason is an unreliable narrator who doesn’t really notice things unless they come to him, which will come into play later!!
DOUBLE ALSO: percy mention!! him and annabeth r in fact dating in this (as seen in the tags) and he will show up within the next couple chapters along w a couple of other characters…
Chapter 6: pictured i was driving home to you
Notes:
chapter title from "drivers license" by olivia rodrigo
additional lyrics from "ribs" by lorde
TW for this one! zeus is being a dick, as per usual, and jason mentions his previous history of physical abuse. jason also goes through a panic attack this chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
In the weeks following homecoming, Jason had become somewhat popular.
He went from being the barely acknowledged kid in the back of all his classrooms, to the boy that won the homecoming game. Stupidly, he'd thought he'd blend in with everyone else at this school. But, he supposed he was wrong.
At his old school, almost everyone was either influential themselves or had influential parents. There were the few odd ones out, such as Reyna, who got in based on academic prowess but most people were just there because it was a nice private high school in San Francisco. So, Jason didn't really stand out in comparison to some of his peers who were literal actors.
Every now and then, someone would overhear his last name and figure out the connection to his mother--and maybe, if they dug a little deeper, his father.
Piper was always an easy face to recognize, always the one person Jason couldn’t hang out with normally without her having to pause to take some kind of photo. But nobody really noticed him, and to be truthful, he liked it that way.
At school, people would come up to him and congratulate him on his winning play. People he didn’t even know. Maybe it was just a public school thing, this unabashed boldness, but back his old school people stuck to themselves.
That was one of the biggest things. Everyone here knew everybody, it was such a large school but it felt like a tight knit community. Nobody was ashamed to strike up a conversation with a stranger, nobody found it odd to venture out and stray from the group you primarily hung out with.
Leo had been joking when he called Jason’s old school a military high school, but it was almost the truth with the way things were run. There were harsh cliques, and people stuck to their own group of people. Piper, Reyna, and him were their own little odd group that strayed from their original groups. When he wasn’t with the girls, he was normally hanging out with the football and baseball teams. Just like how Piper was forced to stay with the other daughters of influential actors, and Reyna hung out with the other scholarship kids.
Everything felt very separated.
“Yo Superman, you checked out or somethin’?” Leo’s fingers snap in front of his face, and Jason blinks a couple times before his vision fully comes back to him. Leo’s peering at him, one eyebrow raised, from the floor.
Jason sat in the cozy grey armchair, his laptop on his thighs with Leo’s back pressed against his legs as he sped through his statistics homework.
“Yeah sorry I was just thinking about something. What’d you say?” he asks, looking to the rest of the group who was staring at him expectantly. Annabeth gives a tiny exasperated sigh, the one she gives when she’s not actually annoyed but is trying to pretend she is.
“We asked what you thought about a Halloween party,” Will explains, “Annabeth would be hosting but we were wondering if you were up for it.”
Jason doesn’t think he’s ever said no to a party invite. Then again, that was back when sneaking out had felt like his only form a freedom from his parents oppressive grip on his life.
He considers it, for a moment. It obviously would be different from his California parties. He wasn’t even sure how Annabeth would be as a host—if she’d allow alcohol or have an insanely crowded house. Her father didn’t seem like the kind of person to allow that, and she didn’t seem like the kind of girl to be into that either. Though, he supposed from the outside he didn’t either.
He thinks he’d be willing to go, after all, it wasn’t like he had many Halloween plans.
“I mean, sure. Why not?” he shrugs, thinking the decision was final as he turns back to his laptop. Against his legs, Leo shifts, to be able to fully face him.
“You’ve never had a sleepover but you’ll go to a party?” Leo says, as if the idea baffled him. “Like I said, you don’t make sense to me.”
“He’s not a puzzle,” Annabeth snorts from her spot on the couch. After a beat, she does say, “Though he’s got a point. I didn’t think you were the party-type of guy.”
He could kind of understand why. Jason had felt tense at the sleepover, if only because he was trying to make sure they weren’t loathing being there. Plus, so far he was a straight A student, and always made sure to participate in class. But also, he played football, and he hasn’t met a single football player who would pass up a party invite.
“I like them to an extent,” he admits, “If I get tired of it I just go home.”
Will laughs, and says, “Amen to that.”
“Well, if you’re down that means we’re all good. It also means you’re a part of party planning. I invite pretty much anyone when I host parties,” Annabeth explains, tucking a pencil behind her ear, “The more the merrier, y’know? Plus, my family will be out of town and I think it’d be nice to be a rebellious teen for once.”
Leo hums, shifting again, and pressing the crown of his head against Jason’s shin as he stares up at him. He brings one hand to cup his mouth. “Careful,” he mock whispers, “Annabeth is a total monster of a party planner. She’ll get so stressed out and do everything herself.”
He’s barely through his sentence when Annabeth sends a pillow at his head. He groans, tossing it back at her. Will’s barely containing his own laughter, but demands them to stop so they don’t get kicked out of their favorite study spot.
Absentmindedly, Jason mentions, “I know Thalia could get us alcohol.”
They all pause, and seem to stare at him for a moment. It’s long enough that Jason’s tired of looking back stupidly and asks, “What?”
Annabeth shakes her head with a small smile. “Nothin’, just didn’t think you drank alcohol. Though, having her buy it is probably better than me begging Luke to buy it for me and not tell my father.”
“You know Luke?” he asks, tilting his head. She nods, focusing back on her homework.
“Yeah, his mom lives in my neighborhood and he was the only person I deemed cool enough to talk to when we moved here,” she laughs, waving her hand in the air, “Ten year old me’s judgment was a little skewed. He’s chill though.”
Jason hums. It shouldn’t be strange to him. Their town was relatively small, nestled on the edge of Baytown, and hidden by Houston. It’s not shocking that people knew each other. It made the whole school conundrum make a little more sense too.
They return to their studying, but Jason’s only able to focus on his AP literature work for ten minutes before Leo’s tapping his knee.
“Are you some sort of secret party-animal that I don’t know about?” Leo jokes, a lazy grin on his face.
Jason hopes his embarrassment doesn’t show on his face.
Back in California, nobody really cared to discuss how much of a mess he was. Nobody truly cared in the end, because they were all messes. After all, every now and then the kids of famous and influential people had to let out tension somehow.
Jason thinks they’d care a lot more here.
“No,” he mutters, “It’s not like I’m an alcoholic or anything.”
Leo makes a face, twisting to face him. He rests his chin on Jason’s knee, always casual in his affection, and says, “That’s like not what I asked.”
After a beat, Jason shoves at his head and tells him, “Shut up, Valdez.”
Leo, thankfully, listens and turns back to his statistics work.
Jason just hopes the party doesn’t end up going to shit thanks to him.
this dream isn't feeling sweet
we're reeling through the midnight streets
and i've never felt more alone
feels so scary getting old
It was still early October. Which meant, Jason had only been in Texas for around two months.
Surprisingly enough, it had felt like the quickest two months of his life.
On another note, Jason knew his father was capable of holding grudges for years.
That's why he was shocked when he's climbing into his truck after football practice, and is greeted by a phone call from his father. He slides into the seat, closing and locking the door behind him before picking up the phone. It's silent for a minute, and he takes that minute to start up his car, before his father's gruffy voice filters through the phone speaker.
"Son," he grumbled, "I'm calling to... check in on you.'
It sounded like it pained him to be civil.
But Jason was just confused as to why he was calling. He hadn't expected his father to call him even once before he was expected to return home for Thanksgiving--a fact he was still struggling to grasp--considering his stepmother had barely contacted him either. His father always felt like he was the one being wronged, and always the one who deserved an apology in the end. It made Jason wonder how he got through his life.
"Okay," he says slowly, dragging out the 'o' vowel. He puts the phone on speaker mode, and places it on his center console while he buckles himself in. His father remains silent, and Jason relents and says, "I'm fine."
His father grunts, his form of an acceptable answer to that. "And your studies? Football?"
Jason pulls out of the parking lot, glancing over his back shoulder to reverse without hitting the cars around him. "Um, they're fine. I'm still taking all my AP classes, and I'm the school quarterback."
His father takes in this information, letting out a rumble of a hum, "You are settling, right?"
Jason falters, glancing down at the phone, before averting his eyes to the road again. The clock read eight forty-six, so it wasn't like anybody was truly around to see him nearly drive through a stop sign.
"Well--I don't--Hera said not to."
"She did?"
"Yeah," Jason sighs, taking a right to head downtown. To get to his home he had to drive through downtown, then through a small, secluded section of Baytown, before he finally got back to his town's neighborhood. He's sure there were other quicker ways, but this was the only way he had memorized. "She called me about Thanksgiving, and that she was trying to get me home permanently by Christmas."
Jason wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say, but he soon finds out that it wasn't. His father remains quiet, and he hears a heavy and labored breath. Then, his voice shakes through the forced calmness as he announces, "You won't be coming home, Jason."
His fingers tremble on the wheel, and he tries to focus on the road in front of him as he pulls to a stop at the intersection. As the car to his right goes, Jason asks, "What do you mean?"
"I said, you're not coming home. You're staying with Thalia until you go to college. That decision is final."
Without thinking--because truthfully, speaking with his father took away all his rationality--he spits out, "No," as he drives across his designated path on the intersection. "No, I'm not staying here."
"Jason," his father warns, but it's not much of a warning, Jason already knows whatever he says next will get him yelled at regardless. That doesn't stop him from saying it though.
"I have a life in California!" he shouts, head swerving back and forth from the phone to the road, "I--I have friends, family, memories. I can't just fucking leave that behind! This isn't my school, this isn't my team, this isn't how I want to spend my senior year--"
His father's voice thunders through the speaker, so loud it makes him wince.
"Listen to me boy! I sent you down there to learn some respect. If you think this is the worst punishment I could give you then you are sorely mistaken. I will ruin your life if you so much as test me again, I promise you that."
He can picture his father on the other end; his face turned a purplish-red as he spits into the speaker. Despite the thousand miles between them, Jason still feels fear strike through his chest. His foot presses a little too hard on the gas, and he nearly rear-ends the poor car in front of him. He comes to a harsh stop only a couple inches, forcing the people behind him to do the same. Their horn blares in his ears, and he winces as he pulls himself off to the side of the road.
"Don't be an idiot, Jason, I raised you better than that," his father snarls, and Jason presses his forehead to the upper-half of his steering wheel.
Quietly, he mutters, "You didn't raise me at all."
"Watch your tone."
Jason huffs, slamming his hand down on his dashboard. "Y'know, you keep fucking saying that and then you don't do shit! What are you gonna do? Fly out and hit me again? I'm not a kid; I'm turning eighteen next summer. And maybe I don't want to come home to you!"
There's a thick silence between them, and for a split-moment, Jason swears he hears his stepmothers soothing voice in the background. As if she was trying to calm him down. From what, Jason wasn't sure, but if this was the point she was finally intervening maybe he should be grateful for it. His father lets out a sigh and growls, "You disappoint me more and more every day, but this is a new low for you."
"Maybe you shouldn't have took us in then--if I dissapoint you so much. Maybe I'm no better than Thalia--maybe you should've left us with Mom."
"And leave you to die?"
"Yes! God fucking yes! At least I'd be happy!"
"Jason, she is not the woman you think she was. She was insane! She would've killed you herself if it meant she got even one thing she wanted. You need to stop villainizing me--"
He takes the phone off speaker, pressing it to his ear. There are tears rolling down his face, ones he hadn't even noticed, as he listens to his father go on and on. Spitting out vile words.
"Your mother was a disgrace and so are you."
"Just stop," he mutters weakly, "Don't fucking call me again."
There's the beginning of...something that his father says. It doesn't even sound like words, more like a garbled yell, but Jason hits the 'hang up' button too quick to decipher what it was. There's a beat of silence, before his father calls his phone again. Jason puts it on do not disturb, and takes a shuddering breath as he faces the road again.
Jason should just go home. He knows that. He should continue driving, focus on the road ahead, not let his thoughts get to him.
But every time he even thinks about looking back towards the road, his head pounds with the force of the memory of his father's voice. He doesn't think he could bear going back home to Thalia like this, to see her worry. So, he fumbles with his phone, pulling up her contact and lets her know that he'd be home late. She sends a thumbs up with a smiley face, and it almost makes Jason feel bad for not trusting her with this.
There was a very small amount of people Jason felt comfortable to cry around, and when Thalia left all those years ago, she soon lost that privilege.
His hands tremble, and he thinks he'd be okay to drive, just not to go home. But, it wasn't like there was much else for him to go. With his phone still in his hands, he forces himself to take deep breaths and will the tears to dry.
A notification pops up on his screen--a stupid text from Leo, discussing another late-night random fact that popped up in his brain that he just had to share.
Jason's lips twist, and after a moment of consideration, he presses the call button next to Leo's contact.
"What's up?" his voice is raspy, like he was half-asleep, and it calms Jason in a way. He takes in a deep breath, but it's too weak and shuddering to be casual. Leo seems to be more alert at this, and asks, "Jason? Are you okay?"
After a beat, Jason asks, "Are you busy right now?"
"Um, no not at all. You know me, dude. Who am I gonna hang out with other than you? But...seriously, are you okay?"
Leo's concern digs a hole in his chest, one that aches and feels strangely familiar. He doesn't really remember the last time somebody had asked him that. He sniffles, sounding weak and vulnerable, and mutters, "Can I come pick you up? I need a distraction right now."
The response is immediate. "Of course."
"Okay," Jason says carefully, his voice soft and fluttery, "I'll be there soon."
He presses the 'end call' button before he can regret his decision. Also, because he really needs to pull himself together and doesn't want to be a red snot-faced mess when he pulls up to Leo's house.
Leo was the closest thing he had to a best friend here. Yes, Annabeth was the person he met first, but Leo just felt so easy to be around. He didn't have to pretend to be anything he wasn't. Around Annabeth and Will he feels the need to focus on his studies, to push the AP student agenda, it felt like being around his stepmother in a way. And being around Frank and Beckendorf made him abandon that agenda and focus on sports. It was like he had to save certain parts of himself for certain people. It was never that way with Piper or Reyna--and it isn't that way with Leo.
No matter how annoying Jason may pretend he is, he's really grateful for him. Plus, he's glad Leo keeps coming back despite all his half-assed attempts to push him away.
Jason thinks that maybe if he stopped trying to push him away, he might find himself growing even fonder of Texas
Part of him wanted to settle here. He liked the people here; he loved being around his sister. His newfound freedom was a godsend, and he felt the happiest he's been in a while. But, at the same time, he missed California dearly. He missed football games with his real team, he missed hanging out with his real friends--hell, he even missed the really nice staff his father had that would sneak him sweets at night that his stepmother would never allow.
Jason belonged there, but a small, almost non-existent part of him told him he belonged here too.
He wasn't sure how much of that was just forced upon him from living here.
Before he knows it, he's pulled up outside of Leo's house. Downtown is lively, considering it wasn't that late, with warm yellow lighting hanging from the shop windows and large streetlamps. The shop is closed up, and Jason doesn't think he's ever seen it open--or in the daytime, for that matter.
He shoots Leo a quick text to let him know he's here, but that there's no rush. The moment it's read, Leo's bustling out the door. He stumbles down the rickety steps, causing Jason's heartrate to spike, and slips in the passenger seat in record time. His hair is wild, sticking up in multiple directions, and he's wearing a black tank-top with red and black pajama pants. On his feet, are dirty white crocs.
"Hey man," he greets, buckling himself in, "Now, I had an idea for what we could do."
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Jason asks. He's not perfectly composed. He's wiped his tears away, but he's sure his face is still an unattractive splotchy red. His voice is also a lot thicker, like his vocal cords were swollen, but Leo doesn't mention any of that. Instead, he looks at Jason with a devilish grin and acts like this was any other hangout. Like Jason hadn't called him while obviously crying.
"We go to the dollar store and get some snacks and a crappy blanket, then lay in your truck bed and stargaze. Perfect distraction."
And well, it wasn't like Jason had a better idea.
It takes them all of three minutes to get to the nearest dollar store. Jason had some money on him, but Leo kindly offered to pay for this one. The two of them slip out of the truck, and head into the store, agreeing that Leo would go get snacks while Jason got blankets and such. As soon as they walk in, Leo salutes him, and says, "I'll see you on the other side."
It makes Jason snort, and he shoves him with his shoulder before going off to get his share of supplies.
It doesn't take long to find the comfort aisle. There wasn't much and it wasn't the greatest quality, but for a buck and twenty-five cents, Jason wasn't about to complain. He found a thin, but fairly nice, fall-themed blankets. It was tan with little pumpkins on it. To combat the rest of the cold evening chill, he grabbed a white-knit blanket for on top. Then, two small pillows for their heads.
It was definitely the easier of the two jobs, and probably why Leo made him do it. Plus, the fact that Jason didn't know many good snack brands.
He finds Leo crouched in the candy aisle, squinting at a back of butterfingers in one hand and three musketeers in the other. He looks up when Jason walks over and raises the candy in his direction. "I couldn't figure out what candy you'd like better. These are the healthiest options.”
Jason blinks, shifting the blankets and pillows in his arms and echoes incredulously, "Healthiest options?"
Leo deadpans, and tucks the candy protectively to his chest. "You know, if you're going to hate on my candy options I will gladly go home--"
"No, no, no," Jason laughs, using his free hand to grab at Leo's wrist, "I like nougat. Three musketeers are fine."
"That's what I thought," Leo tutted, straightening up and dropping the butterfingers back where they came from. Then, he wrinkles his nose and goes, "Of course you want nougat."
"You picked the options!" Jason argues, shifting the blanket again as Leo drops multiple three musketeer bars into his little handheld shopping basket. Leo shrugs and grabs a box of m&m's from the shelf as well.
"Listen, your emotional distress does not excuse your choice in candy. I mean--really? Whipped nougat?"
"It tastes good," Jason mutters weakly, but everything about him feels lighter upon hanging out with Leo.
He follows Leo throughout the rest of the snack aisle, offering his opinions on whatnot. Sometimes, Leo listens to him and puts it in the basket. Other times, he'll make a face and softly shake his head. Then, he'll mutter something along the lines of, "One day you're going to be able to deduce the good snacks from the bad snacks."
After checking out they pile the stuff into his truck (not like there's a shit ton of it), and Leo plugs a random park into his gps. It's about a ten minute drive, but Leo turns on the radio and relaxes in his seat like he had a month ago after Jason had picked him up one late night. He types something on his phone, fingers moving so quick they're almost blurry and he's only half-looking at the screen, and suddenly his awful typos make a lot more sense.
When they arrive, the park is almost eerie to Jason, but Leo just climbs out the passenger seat and beckons for him to follow. Grabbing his phone, Jason does, and climbs into the truck bed after him.
"Oh, you got a nice blanket," Leo comments, laying it out on the bed, "You spoil me, Jason."
"It's your money?" he points out, but there's a smile breaking on his face as he sets up their respective pillows. Leo begins to dig through their plastic dollar store bags filled with snacks and resurfaces with a three musketeers bar and a bag of white chocolate covered pretzels. Jason sits on the blanket, holding the white knit one in his hands. When Leo settles down beside him, he shakes his head and hands him the candy bar instead.
"I run too hot for blankets. Would you believe me if I told you I'm sweating right now?"
Jason wrinkles his nose but settles the blanket around his lap anyways and peels open the candy bar. "It's like fifty degrees," Jason squints, "Are you made of fire or something?"
"Guess you could say so."
Leo settles back down against the blanket, tucking one arm underneath the pillow as he picks a pretzel out of the bag with the other. Jason settles down too, biting into the candy bar, and looking up towards the sky. Jason spots Ursa Major and Ursa Minor with ease, faintly recalling the story of the mother who was seduced by a god but punished for it in the long run. His fingers raise and trace the outline of the bear.
His eyes drift down a little, finding the two matching constellations beneath it. He glances over at Leo and points it out to him. "Hey, look, it's Leo and Leo Minor."
Leo squints for a moment, smiling weakly, and making it very clear he wasn't seeing what Jason saw but nudges him and says, "I'm just so famous they're naming stars after me."
Jason's laughter floats in the air for a moment, until that laughter turns into a shuddering breath and suddenly, he's trying to hold back his tears again. Leo perks up immediately, propping him up on one arm as Jason drops the candy bar and digs the heels his palms into his eyes. His chest is rising and falling at a rapid rate, and it feels like he can't get enough air into his lungs.
"Fuck," he whispers, trying to ignore the weight of Leo's eyes. A warm hand reaches out, wrapping lightly around Jason's wrist and pulling away his left hand. Jason turns away immediately, not wanting Leo to see the tears beginning to leak out of his eyes. Leo doesn't falter though and takes Jason's hand in his and presses it to his own chest. Beneath his palm, Jason feels the steady beat of Leo's heart.
"Hey, hey," Leo tries to soothe, "Just breathe."
Jason tries, but everything feels airy and whistled. He forces himself to sit up, trying to focus on Leo's steady rhythm beneath his hand. Embarrassment floods through his body, red hot and flush. He brings up his knees and buries his face in his free arm. Leo slides up next to him, warm and solid against Jason's side.
"Listen, I don't know what's going on but I'm here for you, Jason. It's going to be okay."
Leo's voice is smooth, the slightest rasp, and incredibly comforting in this moment. Jason peaks over his arm to look at him, finding solace in those brown firelight eyes. Leo's face is set in a deep frown, that Jason feels tempted to reach up and fix. His head tilts to the side, curls falling with it, as he stares back at Jason. For a moment, it's just them, and the stars.
"I'm sorry I shoved this all on you," Jason says after a beat, "You didn't ask for this."
"But I'm here to deal with it," Leo assures, taking Jason's hand off his heart and squeezing it, "I want to be here. I want to help."
Leo had once told him when he saw something broken, he felt the incessant need to fix it. Though, Jason wasn't sure if he was fixable.
Jason's heart stutters in his chest. Worries that Leo would leave if he actually opened up to him floating around in his head. He looks out across the park, across the landscape and connected lake. He slowly retracted his hand from Leo's grip and wiped at his face with a sigh. Pressing his face into his knees, he sits and waits for his own body to stop panicking before he finally speaks.
"My dad is a piece of shit," he admits softly, voice so quiet and weak he isn't sure if Leo heard him, "Always has been and always will be. He called me and said a bunch of stuff--I couldn't go home so...I called you."
Leo shifts so he's fully leaning against Jason this time. His curls tickle the back of Jason's neck, the familiar tangerine and smokey mix of a scent floating up to Jason's nose. "I get it," he hums, "My dad's a piece of work too. But--whatever he said, I promise you it's not true."
A sob wracks through Jason's chest, something wet and broken, and he tries to muffle it into his arm. "You don't know that," he whispers, "You don't know what I was like. Or--or what I said."
"No," Leo admits, "I don't. But I know you now."
Leo moves again, taking the white-knit blanket that had crumpled in the truck bed and tosses it over the back of Jason's shoulders. Then, he crawls in front of him, mirroring his curled-up position and resting his chin on his arms. He stares at Jason for a second, before leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together. Jason's surprise is visible, but quick enough, he relaxes into the position and shuts his eyes.
"I know you're smart, and generous, and compassionate, and so strong. And well--whatever parent doesn't want that in a kid doesn't deserve to be a parent at all."
Jason laughs, something weak and small, but genuine. Leo laughs a little too, grinning at him. From this close, Jason can notice details he hadn't really seen before. Across his cheeks is a constellation of freckles, branching across his nose and up his cheekbones then down his neck. His eyes have flecks of orange and green in them, probably what made his eyes look like they were made of fire. He has a small scar on the edge of his jaw, just barely visible before it ducks under his ear and into his curls.
Back at homecoming, it had occurred to Jason that Leo had the capability to dress up nice and make himself look good. But now, it's occurring to him that maybe Leo looks good all the time. Maybe he just needed to look deeper, look at him a little longer, look at him and try to understand him.
"This is going to sound a little pathetic but uh...you're my best friend, man," Leo says, looking to the side and pressing his lips together, "I feel like I can trust you with pretty much anything. So, I want you to feel the same about me."
Without hesitation, Jason murmurs, "I do."
Leo's eyes flick back towards him, a flash of surprise evident in them. It almost makes Jason's heart ache to see that. To see that Leo had been so openly vulnerable for a moment, without even believing that Jason would be too. Then, Leo's mouth melts into a blinding smile, and that ache lessens.
"C'mon," Leo says, urging him to get out of the truck bed. "I have an idea."
"That's never a good thing," Jason jokes, to which Leo scoffs. Still, Jason follows him out of the truck bed, still keeping the white knit blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Leo leads them to the playground, and fiddles with the lock on the gate for a moment, before it drops to the ground and he swings it open with a flourish.
"Welcome to my humble abode," he says with an extravagant bow, smirking at Jason with lidded eyes. Jason steps past the gate, walking into the park. He hadn't been around this area before, but it was your classic wooden castle park. The one kids would play tag in, and swordfight using sticks in the arena. Or, maybe that last part was saved for him and Reyna.
"You got a couple of bugs," Jason comments, swatting at a mosquito trying to bite him. Leo shrugs and pushes further into the park and heads for the swings.
"It's part of the charm."
"Uh-huh."
Leo brushes some woodchips off a swing and offers it to Jason before taking the one next to it. Jason takes his designated swing, being a bit too tall for it considering his feet are flat against the ground. Leo wastes no time swinging, using his toes to kick off the ground and push himself into a lazy swing. Jason watches him for a moment, perfectly content to remain still on his swing.
After a couple minutes of comfortable silence, Leo says, "I'm glad you came to me."
Jason glances over at him, smiling fondly, before looking up at the stars and spotting the Ursa Major.
"Me too."
[ A photo has been posted to Leo's instagram. It's a selfie of Jason and Leo on the swings. Jason's smiling politely at the camera, the dim lighting hiding his prior distress. Meanwhile, Leo's making a scrunched up kissy face and holding up a peace sign. In the background, you can see the Leo constellation shining brightly. Tagged over the post is the audio "Ribs" by Lorde . ]
@valdeez: breaking and entering final boss
@jasongrace
Notes:
with the beginning of this chapter i really tried to show the differences between the camps using the schools so i hope some people caught onto that. ik jason’s a very public figure considering he’s the son of jupiter in the books, but i decided to go for a different direction in this. i call it the superman direction, because in this fic everyone perceives him as cold and calculating, when he’s actually just introverted and embarrassed. he’s tall and muscular and looks like he’s cut from stone, but he’d probably cry over a puppy video. so i tried to help show that using his old school (camp jupiter) as a strict, roman-like, elite school and his new school (camp half blood) as the more public, loose, wild even, type of school to help play into the identity issues jason has in the book, and the issues that will arise later in this fic!
Chapter 7: you told me all of my cages were mental
Notes:
chapter tile from “this is me trying” by taylor swift!
additional lyrics from “creep” by radioheadno tw for this one but jason gets in his own head a lot so he prepared for that! and not too much on me changing up leo’s first name…i’ll explain in the end chapter notes
like w the football chapters...ima need u to bare w me for this one too. i have no clue how swim competitions work ok i am just a girl
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
On October fifteenth, Jason won an award.
Well, actually, Jason won two. But, that’s beyond the point.
During their last period of the day, Jason’s guitar class, an announcement was made over the intercoms. It was that all senior and junior students must head down to the auditorium for upperclassmen awards.
Their teacher had stared at them deadpan for a moment, in the middle of teaching a lesson about chord structures, before sighing and dismissing them with a wave of his hand. Jason mostly follows the crowd. The auditorium was one of the few places in the school he hadn’t been in yet, and while he knows the way from the exit, he doesn’t know the path from the music suite.
Along the way, he finds Annabeth who had her hair tucked up into a curly mess of a bun, and her blue-light glasses on that she hardly ever wore. When she posts him, he can instantly tell she’s mad.
“I was in the middle of a working on a design for my internship,” she grumbles, crossing her arms. “Why do they always have the worst timing for these things.”
“Is this a usual thing?” Jason asks, as they walk through the doors of the auditorium.
“Yes,” she sighs, rubbing at her temple, “They do one at the start of every year based on your actions in the few months. It’s supposed to encourage kids to be on their best behavior for the next year but when you’re a senior it really doesn’t matter.”
Jason personally thinks it’s a little stupid to do it this early in the year, but for it to have been going this long he supposed it must be a decent motivator for students.
As he looks around, he takes in the expressions of the people around them. There were some people with grins, being shoved around by their friends, clearly expecting an award out of this. Then, there were others who looked bored, maybe even tense, likely those who hadn’t won an award.
Jason wondered if this was the type of school to only give out awards to the more popular kids that stood out. His old school was. He couldn’t even count the amount of times this one kid, Octavian got awards just because he made sure everyone saw him.
The two of them settle somewhere in the middle, with Annabeth closer to the edge to escape for her inevitable award. She’d explained that she’d won an award every single year, all for a different subject she excelled at. She wasn’t shy, or humble, but she wasn’t bragging either. That was one thing Jason liked about her, she knew her worth.
A couple minutes after everyone’s flooded in, Mr. Chase takes the stage. He stands in front of his podium, a plastered on smile gracing his face, as he shifts through the awards in front of him.
He claps his hands once, a clear and concise sound that cuts through the chatter and mostly silences the room. He holds an air of wisdom, and respect, but Annabeth’s wrinkling her nose beside him.
“Good afternoon students and faculty. You’re gathered here today to be presented with our annual start of the year awards,” he announces, fingers tapping along the edge of the podium. “Today we will be awarding a total of twenty students, ten per grade, starting with the junior class!”
Jason doesn’t know many juniors, and mostly zones out during this part. He claps when necessary, and responds to Annabeth’s notes and comments when she gives them.
“This award goes to a student who has excelled in the AP Chemistry class, always paying attention and contributing to the learning environment,” Mr. Chase says, holding up a small plaque, “Congratulations to William Solace.”
The name snaps Jason out of his stupor and an involuntary cheer escapes his mouth. Will rises from his seat, close to the end as if he was also expecting it, and making his way up the steps to the stage. He takes the plaque with one hand, shaking Mr. Chase’s hand with the other.
There’s two names called after Will, ones he doesn’t recognize, and then they’re moving on to the seniors.
Unsurprisingly, Annabeth is called first.
“This award goes to a student who has dedicated themselves to as many programs possible, shown great leadership, and has been an overall well-rounded student,” Mr. Chase announces, and if that description wasn’t enough then the proud smile on his face certainly is, “Congratulations to Annabeth Chase.”
The cheering for her is unashamed. A couple of her other friends, the ones Jason barely knew, stand and cup their mouths for her. Jason’s own clapping is very loud, and he grins at her as she proudly slips through the aisles and up the steps. The cheering only gets louder as she walks across the stage, unlike the awkward dying claps some of the others had gotten.
Mr. Chase opens his arms, which Annabeth slips into. The hug is brief, and Annabeth pulls back from it quickly and flashes her small plaque to the crowd before making her way off the stage.
When she returns to her seat, there’s a small embarrassed flush to her cheeks, and she mutters, “He’s always gotta make a scene.”
“He’s just proud of you,” Jason whispers back, pressing his lips together, “He wants to make sure you know it.”
Annabeth sinks a little further into her seat, pressing the plaque against her legs. “Well I don’t need him to be proud of me.”
And deep down, Jason envies her.
He wishes, quietly, that his father could’ve been here to celebrate a moment like this with him. Even back at home, Jason knows he wouldn’t have been, but something in him still wishes he had the opportunity. That maybe at the homecoming game, he might’ve been able to see his father watching from the stands.
Maybe in a couple of weeks from now, he’d be able to have him out on the field with him for senior night.
All things that could’ve happened in California, but he knew wouldn’t regardless.
So, Jason doesn’t say anything for a moment, fingers tapping along the edge of the seat.
Then, he whispers, “Some kids would kill to have that.”
Annabeth’s head whips in his direction, and she sits up more in her seat. Her mouth opens like she’s going to say something, but everyone starts clapping for whoever was announced after her, and Jason never finds out what she was going to say.
She doesn’t say anything after that, sitting still in her seat and only clapping when needed. Jason almost feels bad. Almost.
Six more names are called, six more names Jason doesn’t recognize. Up above, Mr. Chase clears his throat and adjusts his plaques again.
“This next award is being given to a student who has shown great potential, and is destined for great things. From their contributions to the robotics team, and their genius in the classroom, each one of us faculty see this student doing amazing things. Congratulations Emiliano Valdez.”
The last name strikes in him, but the first name doesn’t. Confusion pangs around in his chest, until he sees Leo stand up a couple of rows down. Beside him, Annabeth’s snapped out of her dazed stupor and is standing up to cheer. Jason follows her example, and stumbles to his feet to clap.
Despite his initial confusion, Jason’s proud of Leo. It was very rare that high school students got recognized for their efforts, especially students like Leo who are so naturally brilliant but don’t stand out as much in comparison to students like Annabeth. Jason cheers his name, cupping his mouth, and watches Leo cross the stage. His abundance of keychains clink from the carabiner attached to his belt loop, and he does an awkward little half-jog to get over to Mr. Chase before the clapping stops.
He takes his plaque, making sure to give the principal’s hand a firm shake, before turning to the crowd. He lifts one arm, half-heartedly flexing. Laughter extends across the crowd, and something fond and slightly sweet bursts in Jason’s chest.
As everyone settles down again, Jason briefly thinks, Emiliano has a nice ring to it.
There’s two more names, leaving the last one. Most people have settled down, done with the antics of the day, and itching to be able to go home already. It was mere moments till the bell was supposed to ring. Jason’s beginning to check out himself, his mind wandering to the homework he has to finish tonight instead of the moment at hand.
But suddenly people are clapping, so he is too.
Then, beside him, Annabeth starts cackling.
“What?” he asked, looking around them and being greeted by a hundred stares, “Who got an award?”
Annabeth tugs him up, pushing herself up against the seat for him to supposedly squeeze past her.
“You!”
”Me?” he echoes, pointing a finger at himself. More people are beginning to catch onto his confusion, more people are beginning to laugh with her.
Eventually, Jason gets himself to move, sliding past her and walking down the aisle. He keeps his pace light and fast, already having taken too long in his shock. He isn’t even sure what the hell he’s winning this award for but when he gets on stage Mr. Chase is offering him a winning smile, and extends his hand and the plaque.
“Congrats son,” he says softly, taking Jason’s hand in a firm grip, “You fit in well here.”
Something about that messes with Jason’s head, making it feel thick and heavy, as he makes his way off the stage and back to his seat. The entire walk back he stares at his feet, the small plaque in his hands for an award he wasn’t sure he truly earned.
He’s barely in his seat by the time the bell has rung and students are flooding out the seats. Annabeth glances at him and asks, “Did you even hear what he called you up for?”
”Nope.”
”It was your win at the football game. Hedge must’ve nominated you. Stuff about leadership, y’know?”
Jason supposed he could kind of understand that. But, this wasn’t his school. These weren’t his people. There was somebody out here in this crowd that deserved this award a lot more than he did.
He could win a dozen football games and it wouldn’t be anything truly special to these people.
The only reason he was awarded was because everyone saw it. Jason wasn’t that good of a leader, he wasn’t great in comparison to other people on the team, there was nothing about him that made him more deserving.
Will, Annabeth, and Leo’s awards made sense. His didn’t. It felt like it was just handed to him.
Nothing about it felt like it was earned.
He wonders if there was another kid out here, somebody who worked hard, who put genuine and hard earned effort, who felt invisible, who felt like the person they truly were wasn’t being heard or seen or recognized.
Jason thinks that he might’ve just stolen this award right out from under their feet just because he was a new kid who happened to play football.
The rest of the walk to his car is a blur, and he doesn’t really register much till he’s closed his drivers side door and has buckled himself into the seat. His hands rest on the steering wheel, and he sucks in a deep breath.
Did Jason fit in here? Was he really just like everyone else here? Was he just as deserving of that award as his peers? He wasn’t sure—he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be sure.
Texas didn’t feel like home, and any progress it was making to feeling that way had slipped out between the cracks of his fingers just moments ago. All over a stupid award—an award Annabeth told him most people didn’t even care about.
Most people.
People had cheered for him, obviously, just out of respect. But how many of those people actually liked him? How many of them actually wanted him here? He didn’t think it was that many. If anything, Jason’s presence around them must’ve been obnoxious.
From going to a relatively small private school, where everyone mostly stuck to themselves, nobody was higher in the hierarchy—to this? It was very different. Nobody had disliked him at his old school, and while they shouldn’t have reason to not like him here, that isn’t to say they don’t.
But, at his old school, Jason wasn’t recognized for this kind of stuff. His principal didn’t call him son or tell him he fit in. His friends—other than Reyna and Piper—didn’t joke around and support him like the people here did.
Here Jason didn’t feel the need to be somebody he wasn’t, because here, Jason could mostly fade into the background. He wasn’t the son of a rich entrepreneur, or the deceased ex-hollywood star. He was just Jason Grace, and he happened to be pretty damn good at football.
He wasn’t sure if he was happy about it.
Part of him wanted to claim his old life, to be proud of his heritage. Yet, at the same time, what was there to be proud of?
Not much.
The conflicted feelings he had confused him. There was nothing for him back home except his two best friends and money.
Here? There was freedom, his sister, new and promising friendships, and he never got that awful sense of foreboding everytime he returned home.
But it just wasn’t home.
He couldn’t just pick one over the other.
California or Texas.
His whole life or two months.
Fuck.
Eventually, Jason decides on heading downtown to the usual cafe. None of his other friends were here, which he was quite thankful for, because he really just needed a calm and quiet space to finish his homework and distance himself from his thoughts.
That plan worked for about three hours, even after he’s finished his homework and begun to stare at the baristas making coffee, until one walked over and politely told him they were closing.
It left Jason in his truck again, hands braced against the steering wheel, and his mind beginning to run and race through his thoughts.
He had a lot of pent up energy, and he definitely needed to find a way to burn it off.
Somehow, Jason finds himself back at school.
He grabs his cleats out of his backseat, and an extra grey hoodie, and heads out for the main field.
Jason spends the next hour and a half running, sprinting around the track at varying speeds or jumping hurtles. Doing literally anything to keep his mind off California, Texas, his parents, and that stupid little plaque sitting in his passenger seat.
He only stops when he leaps one hurdle, and it catches the back of his left ankle and he goes tumbling into the one after it. There’s the clatter of metal, as Jason sprawls across the track, back flat to the ground as he stared up at the sky.
His chest heaves at a rapid pace, his lungs trying to reach for air he didn’t know he was lacking. It rises in his throat, thick and cloying, and borderline suffocating.
With his palms laid flat against the bump track, Jason closes his eyes and focuses on evening out his breathing.
But, the moment he does, the thoughts come back.
He nearly gets whiplash from how fast he sits up, his chest still burning with lack of oxygen. He reaches for the fallen hurdle—and a wave of dizziness hits him.
The whole world spins for a moment at a speed that’s nauseating. He steadies himself using the hurdle, pulling himself upwards, only to stumble and nearly tip forward.
With his stomach pressed into the edge of the hurdle—the only thing keeping him standing—he stares at the swirling maroon track and tries not to nearly black out.
“Hey there, don’t you think you’ve worked out enough?” a voice calls, and before Jason can recognize it, two warm hands take his arms and gently guide him back down to the ground.
Then, crouched in front of him, is Leo.
There’s concern in Leo’s face, etched into every detail like a drawing. Instead of his usual smile lines, there’s a wrinkle between his brow, and his usually smirking lips are set in a frown.
“How long have you been here?” he asks, as he pushes up Jason’s sweatshirt sleeves. The skin underneath is pink and hot. “It’s nearly nine.”
Oh, so maybe Jason hadn’t been running for an hour and a half.
“I dunno,” Jason murmurs, his speech suspiciously slurred even as his brain is trying to catch up with the rest of the world. “Why—why are you here?”
”Robotics,” he says quickly, and with a sense of finality. Jason soon catches on that Leo wasn’t letting Jason try to spin this back on him. After that night in the truck, Jason doubts Leo would let him get away with shit like this. He was a good friend like that.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh is right,” Leo sighs before reaching up and pressing the back of his hand to Jason’s sweaty forehead. He pulls it back after a moment, scowling and wiping the sweat build up on the back of his hand on Jason’s sweatshirt sleeve. “You’re gross.”
“My bad. I just ran for a bit.”
That earns him a snort at least, which makes breathing feel a bit easier. Leo’s hands move to his forearms, holding each carefully. He can feel his fingers resting over his veins, and the hearty beat of his pulse through them.
Under the dim moonlight, Jason once again, thinks Leo looks impossibly good. He isn’t sure that’s a thought he should be having though.
His brown eyes search Jason—for what, he isn’t sure—but they must deem him okay. He settles down beside Jason, pulling his knees to his chest, before resting his head on it whilst facing Jason.
“You’re a little insane, you know that right? You’re like…superhuman.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
When Leo’s around, Jason doesn’t think of any of those other suffocating thoughts. He just thinks of him.
“For Annabeth’s halloween party we should do matching costumes,” Leo blurts out, before his eyes shoot wide like he hadn’t meant to say it. With him this close, peering up at him, Jason realizes how long his eyelashes were. He notices the constellations of birthmarks and freckles. He notices plump, round, and full shape of his lips.
”Oh yeah?” Jason grins a little breathless, raising an eyebrow. “And what would we be?”
Leo hums, pressing a finger to his chin like he had to give it some deep thought.
“Well,” he says, dragging out the last letter, “I have a couple options in my notes app that we could look through.”
That’s how Leo and Jason spend the next hour, laying on the track with their shoulders pressed against each other's, and pointing out and pros and cons of his costume ideas. And Jason would be lying if it didn’t end up being the perfect ending to his night.
i don't care if it hurts, i wanna have control
i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul
i want you to notice
when i'm not around
Six days later, Jason finds himself sitting in the hard and uncomfortable stands of some random high-school gym in Houston squished between Annabeth, Leo, Will, and Frank.
Per Annabeth's invitation, the four of them had joined her on the forty-five-minute drive from their small town to Houston, partly out of boredom and partly because they were all hyped up to finally meet her mysterious boyfriend named Percy Jackson.
It was very convenient that the national high school level swim team championships were being hosted in Texas this year, and even more convenient that Percy was nationally acclaimed for his swimming capabilities. Or, at least, that's what she claimed. Jason's sure he could find him with one google search, but otherwise, he never heard the name.
From what Annabeth had pointed out, Percy was a well fit guy. He wore teal swim trunks, and his skin was still tan from the summer. His hair, jet black and tousled, sat shining on top of his head. He, somehow, managed to get out of wearing a swim cap like most of the other guys. Annabeth was absolutely fascinated by the way he swam, making sure to cheer and clap for him during relays.
He was also easily the most decorated swimmer there. Every couple of hours, they'd award the swimmers for the categories they were in. And each time that they called a category Percy competed in, he came in first place.
At one point, Leo had leaned over and whispered, "I think your spot as superman is being overthrown."
Jason didn't have an explanation for the jealousy that had pooled in his gut at that comment, so instead he furrowed his brows and nudged his elbow into Leo's stomach and laughed when he scowled in response.
But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least slightly fascinated with Percy, and swimming in general. It'd never seemed like an option to him. Of course, he knew how, from pool and beach parties, but it didn't occur to him that it could ever be a hobby or a sport. His stepmother was dead set on football and had even made him do track and field in middle school. Meanwhile, his father never cared what sports he did as long as they didn't prevent him from completing his schoolwork and any future college endeavors.
Swimming didn't seem like something he'd want to do nearly as much as Percy does, but it does seem like something fun.
“I don’t get it,” Leo says, unwrapping the tinfoil from his concession stands hot dog. “Swimming is not all that it’s hyped up to be.”
“You think so?” Jason asks, nursing his diet coke, eyes glued to the current relay happening.
“Uh, yeah. It’s tiring and you’re constantly soaked. Plus, you have to wear a swim cap!”
Jason smirks, taking a sip from his soda. “You don’t have to.”
Leo just shrugs, squinting at the relay from their spot a couple feet away from the stands. The two of them had managed to worm their way out of the stands to get food, but found the task of crawling back to their spot a lot more difficult.
The shorter boy turns to Jason, looking him over once. Then, he asks, “Do you like swimming?”
"I haven't really thought about. But, I think I like it," and well, that was the truth. Since school started up, his early morning runs on the beach had become limited. He was lucky if he got out even once every other week, and he never really had the time to go swimming. He swam sometimes, at beach bonfires and pool parties, but that was always with friends and the most he ever really did was float in the water.
His eyes shift over to Leo, who was staring at the pool with a scrunched-up face. He took a bite of his hotdog, ketchup smearing at the corner of his mouth as he munched almost angrily. It brought an airy chuckle out of Jason's chest, and without thinking, he swipes his tongue over the pad of his thumb and brings it to scrub at the corner of Leo's mouth.
Jason doesn't realize what he's done until he wipes the remains of spit and ketchup on his napkin and sees the way Leo's entire body had frozen.
"What the fuck was that?" Leo mutters, staring at him with wide eyes.
Jason stutters, "I--I don't know. I'm sorry I didn't even think--"
He's cut off by Leo's shocked laughter, still staring at Jason like he might do it again. He brings one hand up to his hair and runs a hand through unruly curls. "You don't need to mother hen me, you freak."
Ducking his head, Jason hopes the heat in his cheeks isn't as noticeable as it feels.
"I wasn't mother-henning you."
"You so were."
"Was not."
"Was too-- "
"Are you guys done?"
Their 'was not--was too' argument was cut very short by none other than Will, who was staring at them with an unimpressed look and his arms crossed. His eyes ping-ponged between the two of them, his lip slightly curled like he had something else to say but was holding back on it. One thing Jason found hard to believe was that Will was nice. And well, yes, he was but there was also a small part of him that contained pure hatred and annoyance that he didn't show very often. It was actually a little funny.
He doesn't wait for either of them respond--which, Jason is kind of thankful for because they'd probably both mutter something terribly embarrassing--and instead gestures to the pool behind him. "They're setting up for overall awards," he explains, jabbing a thumb at the slowly gathering swimmers, "Annabeth wants us to be there to support Percy's school."
Leo's scowl finds it's way back on his face. Meanwhile, a smile works it's way onto Jason's face.
Part of him told him he'd like Percy. And maybe it showed on his face.
"Don't tell me you're wowed by this guy," Leo grumbles as they make their way back to their spot in the stands. "He's probably super lame."
"I highly doubt that" Jason says, slight amusement in his tone. "I think you just have a vendetta against swimming."
"I do not!"
"You definitely do. Why?"
Leo huffs, settling down in his spot. A couple feet away, Annabeth is pulling out a large poster she'd made in honor of her boyfriend. Leo squints at it, and Jason plops down beside him. Leo finishes his hot dog in record time, crumpling up the tinfoil like it'd done something to personally offend him.
After a couple tense seconds, he whispers, "I don't know how to swim."
Jason blinks a couple of times, before turning his head to look at Leo. He was staring holes into the tinfoil, refusing to meet his eyes. Bewilderment swirled in Jason's chest, along with a slightly baffled feeling. It must show on his face, because Leo's lips pressed together into a thin white line. Jason shook his head mildly, looking back to the pool.
"And because of that you hate swimming?"
"No," Leo sighs, "I'm just...I don't know--"
"Jealous?"
That earns him an incredulous look, but it quickly melts away into resignation. He gives a half-shrug, eyes lifting to the gathering of swimmers. "I guess."
"Why would you be jealous of Percy? Because he can swim?"
Leo rolls his eyes, propping his arm on his knee and placing his chin in his open palm. He glances at Jason out of the corner of his eye. "You don't get it."
"So make me understand then," Jason replies, swirling the remains of his diet coke, "You're jealous of Percy, for no reason, other than he can swim."
Leo's quiet for a long time. Long enough that the announcers are starting to get ready for awards. They're halfway into the opening speech as they credit all the coaches, families, and friends when Leo speaks again.
"You like him," Leo mutters, "You like Percy. He can swim--you like swimming. I--we have nothing in common, Jason. You realize that right?"
It takes a while, but Jason eventually understands what Leo's trying to convey. The bewilderment returns, a half-uttered sentence of confusion on his tongue, but he bites it back when he sees the glum look on Leo's face. Instead, he stares down at his lap, fingers folded together and dangling between his knees. Leo was worried--worried that Jason would replace him. For Percy? A guy he'd never met? Just because he can swim?
It briefly made Jason wonder if there was an underlying meaning behind it, but he willed that thought away rather quickly.
Then, it made Jason think about Leo's insecurities and his homelife. He knew his mother wasn't around a lot, and when he wasn't at school or with friends, Leo was alone. Nearly constantly. Fending for himself. Left to his own thoughts and devices. And for his dad? Jason didn't know much about that but he knew it was a sore subject he was better off avoiding. Which, fair, he had no right to talk about fathers or mothers.
If Leo was this jealous either Jason had done a terrible job at being a proper best friend--or well, his insecurities were a lot worse than he had thought. Maybe not just about Jason too.
Percy was an ideal boy. He was fit, attractive, and somehow was dating Annabeth. They'd both heard how she gushed about him, and the lengths she'd go to make sure he was supported when he didn't have his family here in Texas for him. It was admirable. Any boy would wish to have a girlfriend like Annabeth--smart, supportive, brave, and pretty--and Percy had her.
Jason knew very little of Leo's dating history--but based on the fact that Leo had very little friends, he doubted it was too great. Which, he also couldn't talk about. He didn't have a good track record either.
There were a lot of different factors to this--a lot of which didn't really make sense to Jason. A lot of which he couldn't actually talk about. A lot of which he didn't know about.
But there were a few things he could say.
Jason presses a hand down on Leo's shoulder, causing the other boy to look up towards him. His eyes are low, like he was waiting for Jason to make fun of him or laugh. And, he had to admit, the situation felt a little humorous, but Jason also knew this wasn't the time nor the place.
"You're my best friend, dude, okay? Just because Percy knows how to doggy-paddle it doesn't mean he outweighs you in the slightest."
He figured Leo always responded well to humor.
Leo huffs a dry laugh, pressing the heels of his palms into his forehead as a smirk crawls its way across his face. "You're right," he says slowly, "Sorry--It's been a rough week. I must be going crazy."
"All good engineers are a little crazy."
A brown eye peeks open at him, before slowly closing as Leo's shoulders relax beneath Jason's palm. Jason slowly pulls his hand back, returning it to his lap. It takes a little bit of Leo's warmth with it, and he takes his own hand in his grip. It almost felt like it could belong to somebody else.
"Y'know," Jason starts, straightening up a little, "I could teach you how to swim."
"Oh please, I'd drown immediately."
He laughs, nudging Leo with his shoulder. "You don't know that."
"I'd sink. Like a rock."
A suddenly evil thought crosses Jason's mind. He leans in close to Leo, a devilish little grin on his face, as he points out Percy amongst the gathered swimmers. He's sitting next to another girl in a matching-colored swimsuit. They're conversing casually, completely at ease despite the championship awards going on around them. Completely confident. His finger finds them, and Leo's eyes follow it.
"Then maybe I could ask my new best friend Percy to teach you--"
An elbow is shoved into his gut, making him groan, as Leo scowls at him playfully. "You're such an asshole."
He gives the other boy an innocent look, raising his hands up in mock surrender. "You have to admit that was kind of funny."
Leo gives a firm shake of his head, crossing his arms. "Not even in the slightest."
"Oh c'mon--it was totally funny!"
"No, it wasn't. You need to work on your humor, dude."
"Stop flirting and pay attention!" Annabeth hisses, hoisting her Percy sign up high as the announcer calls the top five swimmers. Somehow, they'd missed the first six. Jason briefly thinks he should probably be more attentive but places his attention back on the announcer standing at a small podium flanked by a panel of judges.
"In fourth place with an overall highest speed of twenty-three seconds is Hazel Levesque from Goode High School!"
The girl who'd been sitting beside Percy looks up, seemingly surprised to have heard her name. She shrugs on her school jacket, the same one Percy had, and makes her way to the podium to accept her award. She's given a bronze medal, significantly better to the small plaques the people before her had gotten. She stands proudly, as one of the judges puts the medal around her neck.
Somewhere in the stands, amongst the casual applaud, a boy and a girl are cheering loudly and waving a flag in the air. Jason smiles softly, and wonders if that's how him and his friends appeared for Percy.
The next three names are called, all ones that Jason didn't recognize and Annabeth didn't bother to cheer for. Instead, she sat nervously, biting down on her lip as he eyes stayed glued to Percy. Meanwhile, Percy didn't seem to have a care in the world. Jason thought he either was really confident in his win--which, nobody would blame him for--or he truly just could care less.
But, with the way Annabeth was reacting, he doubted that was the truth.
After all, Jason was well familiar with the feeling of trying to hide nervousness.
Unsurprisingly though, he does win.
When his name is called for first place, with a record speed of three seconds, Annabeth practically bursts with pride. She jumps up from her seat in the stands, hoisting the poster high and shouting his name. Somehow, Percy must pick her voice out from amongst the screaming crowd, because he gives her a point and an air-kiss, which has her laughing.
If anything, Jason just feels bad for poor Frank who had to sit next to her and listen to her scream. Yet, when he looked over, he had this little dumbstruck look on his face.
When Jason followed his gaze, he soon discovered why.
Back by the pool's edge, Hazel and Percy were in an arms war, both fighting to throw each other into the pool despite wearing their swim jackets and their respective first and fourth place medals. Only mere moments after Jason spotted them, Hazel wrapped her arms around Percy's midsection and tossed him into the pool, successfully erupting a large wave of laughter from just about everyone paying attention.
Proudly, Hazel beamed at the crowd, flashing her bronze medal as if it was better than Percy's platinum medal.
"Frank has a crush," Leo sing-songs, leaning around Jason to grin at Frank who was turning pink.
"I do not!" he argues weakly, but his eyes keep flitting back to Hazel who was extending a hand to Percy to help him out of the pool. Unfortunately for her, Percy just pulled her in the water with him. "She's just--I don't know--"
"Oh, you so like her," Leo laughs, "Maybe Percy can set you guys up."
The thought pops into Annabeth's head, and she slowly lowers her sign. She gives Frank a thoughtful look, twisting her lips as she analyzes him.
"I mean, she is single," she points out, to which Frank lets out a strangled "how?" which is promptly ignored, "I could actually probably introduce you guys right now."
That thought then turned into a group trip down to the pools edge where they all ended up meeting Percy.
He spots them first, sitting with his legs dipped into the water and a towel thrown around his glistening shoulders. He sees Annabeth, and his entire body seems to light up. Percy scrambles to get up, somehow not slipping in the water, and crushes her in a hug. His face buries in her shoulder, as she wraps her arms around his torso.
"I haven't seen you in forever!" he complains when he pulls back, eyes searching her like he was trying to commit her to memory, "I tried to sneak out to find you before it started but my coach wouldn't let me."
"Why don't you greet me like that?" Leo snorts, wiggling his eyebrows at him, but his joke is soon forgotten when Will nudges a blushing Frank in Hazel's direction.
The two of them stare at each other for a long awkward moment, only aided by Frank's hulking frame and shaking hands. Hazel, probably a good foot and some inches shorter than him, blinks up at him with wide doe eyes.
"Um, hi," Frank greets, voice still sounding strangled, "Your swimming is uh, really impressive."
She blinks a couple times, glancing around as if she was trying to make sure he was really talking to her. Then, she smiles widely and tucks a curl behind her ear. When she speaks, her voice is honeyed and layered, something old and distinctively Louisiana-sounding.
"Oh really? You think so? That's very sweet of you!"
Frank turns even pinker, something Jason hadn't even thought was possible, and nods quickly. "Yeah! I mean, you're also--you're also really pretty."
The last four words come out quick and jumbled, almost slurred together, as if it took a great amount of effort for him to muster them. Hazel squeaks, one hand coming up to cover her mouth before she lets loose a couple of giggles.
"Aw, why thank you," she beams, struggling to hide her wide smile behind her delicate hand. She opens her mouth to say something else, but suddenly, two people are flanking her sides and giving a rather intimidating stare down to poor Frank.
Jason recognizes them as the duo from earlier. A boy with curly black hair and pale skin, wearing a variety of greys, blacks, and whites with many different layers. He looks completely opposite to Hazel but had a set frown on his face. On her other side stood a woman with long dark black hair and a splash of freckles across her olive skin. The look she gave Frank was kinder, but still very apprehensive.
"Hazel," the woman greets, settling a hand on her back, "Who is this?"
But, before Hazel can respond, Frank juts out his hand for a handshake. "I'm Frank Zhang--I, um, I know Annabeth Chase. I was just telling Hazel that I thought she did very well today."
Beside him, Leo lets out a low whistle.
"Damn," he says, "Frank's got guts."
Jason wasn't too sure about that. Despite his unwavering voice, Frank looked like he was ready to tuck his tail between his legs and run any minute now. But Jason didn't have too long to dwell on that because Will is popping up beside them, along with Percy and Annabeth.
"Guys," she greets, one arm wrapped around Percy's waist, "This is Percy. Percy, these are my friends. Will, Leo, and Jason."
Percy's a lot different up close. Except, well, no, he wasn't. But, at the same time, he was. From far away, you don't see the splash of scars across his neck and face. Small, white, littered lines that only added to the slightly rugged look he had. His eyes shone teal, making the black of his hair seem impossibly darker. His grin was sharp, almost mischievous, but well-mannered, nonetheless.
With his free hand, the one not wrapped around Annabeth's shoulder, he gave a lazy wave. "Hey, I've heard a lot about you guys."
"Aw, Annie talks about us? How cute!" Leo gushes, a mischievous grin of his own on his face. Annabeth scowls at him, muttering at him to shut up. Percy laughs, tugging Annabeth close.
"Oh yeah, all the time. See, she never stops talking about you guys--"
"You shut up too!"
"Well," Will grins, never one to stay out of the fun. "She talks a lot about you too, Percy. Annabeth is always going off about your hair, or your smile, or your skin--"
This is what Jason means. Pure evil.
So, to save Annabeth any embarrassment, he extends his hand for Percy to shake. "I'm Jason," he greets, plastering on a polite smile, "You swim like a beast."
Percy takes his hand in a firm grip, eyes twinkling. "Thanks, I try."
Annabeth shoots him a look that seems to read 'thanks for being normal'. Jason only bites back a laugh and retracts his hand. The silence doesn't stay for long though, because soon enough a thoroughly flustered Frank is returning to them with Hazel and her two guests in tow. Percy grins when he sees them, giving a polite hug to the girl and a fist bump to the boy which is less than enthusiastically returned.
"Guys this is Hazel," he says, gesturing to her, "And her siblings Bianca and Nico."
In the end, the group decides to go out for lunch. It takes some convincing of Percy and Hazel's swim coach, but the two are allowed three hours for friend and family time before they must return to the hotel room. Jason learns more about the group and even gets added to a group chat that Leo quickly spams with emojis and different brainrot that Jason hadn't even known existed.
Hazel was sweet, all smiles and grins. She wasn't as passionate about swimming as Percy was but found it an enjoyable enough sport to do in her free time when she wasn't doing competitive horseback riding. She spent most of her time talking with Frank, patiently responding to his fumbled attempts at flirting, and was somehow charmed by his goofy demeanor.
Nico and Bianca on the other hand were still enigmas. They were only here for Hazel, and entertained Percy and Annabeth. Bianca was much more polite, quietly engaging in conversation when involved but never initiating it. She was older than the rest of them, around Thalia's age, so her distance from the rest of them was unsurprising. Nico though was just a mystery. He hardly spoke, clearly content to listen to his sisters, and stare at Frank whenever he tried to crack a joke. When people talked to him, he supplied quiet one-word answers, except for when Will talked to him. When Will spoke, Nico gave him his full undivided attention.
Apparently, Jason wasn't the only one who noticed it, based on the shit-eating grin that Percy wore.
Despite his assurances to Leo that Percy was just another stranger--he really did like him. He was witty in that quick, natural, and funny way. Similar to Leo. He also clearly cared for Annabeth deeply, and it made sense how their dynamic worked. He practically worshipped her but matched her smarts when he needed to. They were undoubtedly a good pair, and Percy was undoubtedly a cool guy.
It made Leo's jealousy a bit more reasonable.
Because, well, deep down Jason supposed he might be a little jealous too.
OCTOBER 24th
incoming message from a saved contact
7:33pm
Nico D.A
leo just asked me if i know what italian brainrot is
is he always like this
can i block him
Unfortunately, yes
You learn to accept him for who he is
Nico D.A
i don't know if i can
That's your loss then
Nico D.A
you're just as bad
Guilty as charged!
Nico D.A
ugh idk why i texted you
im talking to will instead
Mhm
For no particular reason, right?
Nico D.A
stfu
Notes:
so! percy’s here!! and nico and hazel and bianca!!! i love them they all mean so much to me they’re my babies
and for leo’s first name, the name leonidas never sat right to me PLUS it’s a greek name. now my queen esperanza wouldn’t gaf enough abt the gods to name her son after mythology, but i think she’d name him after a mexican revolutionist who changed history!! so i stole the first name of emiliano zapata. and it will be explained why he prefers leo later on
Chapter 8: so i got wasted like all my potential
Notes:
chapter title from "this is me trying" by taylor swift!!
additional lyrics from "tyrant" by beyonce lol
tw for underage drinking!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
On October thirty-first, Jason finds himself dressed in a cheap party-city costume and shoving beer cases into the backseat of his truck.
Meanwhile, Leo watched him from the passenger seat, dressed in his own cheap party-city costume.
Even though the idea of matching costumes had been proposed weeks prior, the two of them had only gotten around to purchasing their costumes a couple days ago, leaving them wearing wrinkled and almost plastic-feeling clothing. Out of Leo's long list of matching costumes, they'd decided on the pairing of a greek god and a roman soldier.
Somehow, Jason had been forced into being the god. He wore an off-white toga, with peeling gold decals at his shoulder and hip. Nestled in his artfully tousled hair was a matching tacky gold laurel wreath. Adorning his arms were gold bands, and finally, he'd spray-painted a pair of old beach sandals gold to match the rest of his outfit. Thalia had watched him as he'd done it, barely hiding her laughter.
In the passenger seat, Leo wore a white tunic with black pleather armor on top. He had a maroon cape around his shoulders, and a gold helmet with a fake red plume. To top off his whole outfit, he had a silver sword he'd made out of junk pieces from his mother's shop that he'd taken to waving around whenever he got bored.
"Listen," Thalia says, popping up beside him with the last case of beer, "I trust you to be responsible. If you're driving yourself home then don't drink more than one beer, and even if you aren't...just don't give yourself alcohol poisoning."
Jason snorts, taking the case from her hand and pushing it into the backseat. He closes the door, before giving her an unimpressed look. In truth, Jason wasn't sure how much he was going to drink tonight. With every party he's gone to, he tells himself he won't indulge too much. But then, there's a drink in his face and he goes from sipping to chugging. Somehow, he might get roped into a competition with somebody over who can finish the beer keg first or something equally stupid. Almost every time though, he's left shit faced.
But then again, so did everyone else, and it didn't really matter. Private school kids needed to let loose somehow.
Except, these weren't private school kids. These were kids who'd for some ungodly reason decided to put Jason on a golden pedestal, and he really had to control himself this time. It was his senior year after all, it probably wouldn't be good if he became a raging alcoholic.
Like mother like son, or something like that.
Which is probably why Thalia is even having this conversation with him.
"I won't," he promises, crossing his arms, "I'll be safe. Besides, I got Leo with me."
With the mention of his name, Leo peeks his head out from the car window. His goofy helmet sits crooked on his head, probably slightly too small, and it barely contains his curls. He shoots Thalia a crooked grin and juts out his hand in a thumbs up. "I don't drink," he answers, "I'll keep Jason squeaky-clean."
Over Thalia's shoulder, Jason shakes his head. Leo just giggles.
"Don't let me down, Valdez," she says, shoving his helmet down on his head. Leo squawks, fumbling to pull it off, as Thalia heads for the door back into the house from the garage. She turns last minute, serving him a cool and serious look.
"Jason," she warns, squinting at him, "I mean it."
"I know," he sighs, rounding the car and opening his door, "I promise I'll be safe."
She nods, and heads back into the house where Zoë was waiting for her to have a girl's night in Jason's absence. As if they weren't expecting him to come back anytime soon for whatever reason.
When he slides into the car, Leo's in the process of pulling off his helmet. His curls bounce loose from the constraints, and he places it on his lap before buckling himself in. While Jason starts up the car and adjusts his mirrors, Leo fiddles with the stereo till they get a decent song filtering through the radio.
They spend the next twenty-minutes it takes to get to Annabeth's house in relatively comfortable silence, with the quiet music playing through the radio. Every now and then, Leo will perk up and mention a post somebody from their school had posted about their halloween costume. Unsurprisingly, most people from the school would be pulling up to Annabeth's house any minute now. Jason, who'd promised to supply the beer, was probably later than he should be.
"Do you think we're going to be the only couple there that's matching?"
For a moment, Jason's brain pauses and malfunctions over the word couple. It takes him a couple seconds to compute that Leo probably just meant couple as in their matching costumes.
"I highly doubt it," he gets out eventually, turning onto Annabeth's street, "I think Travis and Connor were planning something."
"They're always planning something," Leo jokes with a grin, leaning over the center console and pushing into Jason's personal space. His hair brushes the bare skin of Jason's cuffed bicep and sends small tingles through his arm. "But I think we're going to have the best costumes."
"Aren't Annabeth, Will, and Frank matching? Plus, Silena and Beckendorf probably went all out."
Leo presses a thin finger to his lips, and Jason ignores the way his foot trembles on the gas pedal. "Shh," he hums, "I'm predicting it."
"You have a bias," Jason reminds him.
"Fine," Leo groans, pulling back into his own seat and leaning against the door. He raises his eyebrow at Jason, arms crossed over his chest, lip jutted out in a fake pout. It makes Jason roll his eyes, but the smile on his face betrays him. Leo lifts his leg and pokes at Jason with his boot. "You're my bias then."
Jason isn't sure how to respond to that, so instead, he just asks what Annabeth's house number is. Like it wasn't obvious with the number of cars beginning to pile up in her driveway. Leo doesn't seem to take it to heart, pointing out the house without even needing to truly look. Jason pulls the truck into the remaining empty spot before gesturing at the beer in the back.
"Help me carry these in?"
They both grab two cases each, leaving the extra one in the car. Jason wasn't sure how much to get, and Annabeth assured him he didn't need to bring too much. They had arrived about thirty minutes earlier than the start time Annabeth had told most people. They don't even get to the front door before Frank is pulling it open, looking tired despite it only being eight-thirty.
"Thank god--I thought she was about to drive out and get you guys if you didn't show up now," he sighs, rubbing at his face. He wore a brown headband with little bear ears. Truthfully, it took Jason longer to realize what he was than he would've liked. He wore a forest-green sweatshirt with black shorts. On his nose was a smudge of brown eyeliner, probably Annabeth's doing.
"You're a chipmunk!" Leo laughs, pointing at him. Frank doesn't even have the time to glare at him though, because Annabeth is appearing and ushering them inside.
"What took you so long?" she demands, a little hard to take serious in her own chipmunk costume. She wore baggy blue jeans with a red lace tank top. She had ears that matched Frank's, along with a scribble of eyeliner on her nose. Her blonde curls were put into a long ponytail that swished as she marched around, taking a case of beer from Jason's hands. When she disappeared down the hall, muttering something about guests already showing up, Will emerged in her place.
"Told you," he sighs, fixing his own ears, "Total planning monster."
To complete the set, he wore a light blue and white checkered flannel with matching tan cargo shorts. Briefly, Jason wonders whose idea this costume was, and how they ended up roping Frank into it. But then, he thinks to his own predicament, and it starts to make a little more sense.
They follow Annabeth into the rest of the house, passing by a large home library and office space, and an even larger sunken in seventies style living room. Jason could spot a handful of people he recognized from school, and a handful of people he didn't. He also noticed Connor Stoll in the corner, holding a red solo cup, and seemingly in a deep conversation with none other than Calypso.
That was definitely something they were going to end up talking about in the locker room next practice.
She leads them into a kitchen area, with a large island already covered in a variety of drinks. There are sparkling ciders, wine coolers, a couple other beer variants, and finally, a few bottles of whiskey and vodka.
Internally, Jason feels his self-control be thrown out the window.
Now, he wouldn't consider himself an alcoholic. But, well, put the drink in front of him and he'll take it. There was also something almost nice about the drunken feeling he gets when he drinks. It calms him, makes him stop stressing and worrying about things in and out of his control. It was kind of like flying almost. Maybe more like floating. He was just there, and everything felt hazy and light, and he didn't need to think.
It wasn't a feeling he chased, but when the opportunity was presented then he'd take it.
And maybe just sometimes he'd long for it. On days where his schoolwork piled up, or after a particularly brutal practice, or after a heavy conversation with his father. Or, worst of all, after an old memory of his mother resurfaces. That's usually when he does seek out a drink.
Leo pushes his two beer cases onto the table, and Jason follows suit. "We've got one more in the car, just in case," he tells Annabeth, to which she nods, staring far off like she was checking things off an internal checklist. Jason wonders if she was going to be able to relax enough to even touch a drink.
Beside him, Leo pours himself some sparkling water. Jason hadn't been sure if he was serious about the 'i don't drink' thing, but he supposed he was. So, in proper opposition, he grabs some of the vodka and mixes it with some cranberry juice from the fridge. Then, pointedly ignores the gob smacked look Frank sends him as he nurses his own beer.
The rest of the party goes as expected.
People start showing up in hoards. He sees flashes of glitter, miniskirts, face paint, and strangely, cowboy hats. Jason gets through his first drink within two hours, spending most of his time in the library area where a couple of other people had gathered. The more chill people who were trying to be avoid the sweat-slick bodies dancing in Annabeth's living room.
In there, he meets a girl named Rachel. Her face is briefly familiar, probably from the award ceremony or a class. She explains her connection to Annabeth, with them both being in the senior student council. She's eccentric, to say the least. Her costume was Picasso's starry night, painted onto her face, while her outfit was a mix of blues, purples, and golds. It made her fiery red hair stand out even more amongst the cool shades.
But before he knows it somebody--he thinks it was a cheerleader, though he doesn't know which one--grabs him by the arm and he's being pushed towards two full kegs. There's chanting, and the harsh bass of some random party mix plays in his ears. At the side of the keg is Frank, looking like he was coerced into this.
"You're doing the keg stand?" he shouts at him, over the music and cheers. Frank shakes his head so quickly Jason fears he might get whiplash.
"I'm here for you!" he replies, jabbing a finger at his chest, "To lift you!"
After a beat, Jason says, "I'm doing the keg stand?"
"Yes!"
Well, he hadn't been aware of that fact.
Beckendorf appears too, apparently being the other guy to hoist him up. He doesn't get the chance to take a good look at his opponent, but based solely on the spare glance he got, it was Lityerses.
And it wasn't like he had anything against the guy but--Jason was a little competitive.
There's a blur, as Frank and Beckendorf fumble with the nozzle. Then, a body shifts, and suddenly Leo is in front of him. Jason can't really decipher his facial expression, but he thinks he sees concern. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the chance to ask why because Frank and Beckendorf are wrapping their hands around his legs and counting off to hoist him up.
The taste of beer fills his mouth. It wasn't his favorite, but it was light enough, though that was probably partially due to the fact it was mostly foam at the top. He hears the rush of alcohol through he nozzle, and his own heart pounding in his ears. Though, that could've also very easily been the bass of the music. The hands on his legs loosen for a moment, almost dropping him and causing Jason to choke, but he grits his teeth around the nozzle and hangs on.
Suddenly, there's an eruption of cheering. For a moment, Jason's confused, because he hasn't let go yet. But when he spares a glance out of the corner of his misty eyes, he sees that Lityerses is hunched over the keg, a sour expression on his face as he wipes at his beer-soaked face. Still, it takes a moment to register to Jason, and he's on the keg for another thirty seconds before releasing the nozzle and being let down.
He pants when he gets off, sticky beer dripping down his chin and onto his chest. There's cheering around him, maybe a little baffled, but cheering, nonetheless. That clouded feeling begins to pool in Jason's mind, slow and misty curling tendrils wrapping around his sobriety. A hand raises in front of him, tanned and calloused, and wipes the beer dripping from his lips.
A second later, Jason registers it as Leo's hand.
"That came way too natural to you," he comments, wiping his hand on his tunic. His helmet was tucked under his arm, and he gave Jason a contemplative look. "I'm not shaming you but...I'm kind of shaming you."
Jason punches at his arm lightly with a smirk on his face. "Shut up," he murmurs, "I need a drink."
He doesn't catch the way Leo's face drops.
Jason ends up pouring whiskey into his new cup, but he downs it much faster than the vodka cranberry he had before. He sees Will for a brief moment, curled up on a couch in a conversation with a dark-haired boy Jason doesn't recognize. On the other hand, Annabeth has been everywhere, doing her best to be the perfect party host. Jason feels tempted to remind her that she's allowed to breathe.
And, just like old times, Jason's being pulled away again to engage in a game of beer pong against a random girl he doesn't know.
He ends up winning, downing all ten cups of beer. She only manages to knock out four of his cups, but he makes sure to give her a good-natured clap on the back. He's sure he reeks of beer by this point, but his head is slowly becoming too fuzzy to really think about that factor.
Jason can tell when he's verging on drunk, and he's definitely past that.
Otherwise, he wouldn't be dancing with Silena right now.
Beckendorf sat on the couch, one arm slung over the back and laughing as Silena dragged her delicately manicured fingers across Jason's arm in a joking attempt to fluster him. Beside Beckendorf sat Clarisse, glaring at him like he was the sole cause of all her problems. Though, he thinks she looks at anyone who goes near Silena that way.
There's some two thousand pop mix playing loudly in the background as Silena pushes herself against him. She's laughing, and he is too, and everything other than her is a blur of colors. He sees arms and hands, maybe the stray face, but none of it looks real. Silena keeps his eyes on her, flashing black hair and siren-like blue eyes. She pulls him close, then pushes him far, then yanks him in again.
Jason wouldn't advance on her; he wouldn't dream of it. He respected Beckendorf more than that, but, he'd be lying if he said she wasn't pretty. Plus, she knew how to capture people's attention.
Slowly, all his other senses begin to fade out. Somebody passes him a large brew of...something, and people gather around him. Inebriated, Jason takes it and chugs it down, spilling the atomic-like substance all over his throat in the process. It was absolutely vile, but everyone's laughing when he gags and shakes his head.
Yet, beyond the crowd, the music, and the drinks, Jason finds him. He finds Leo. His eyes are warm, like a small fireplace, and shining with worry. His lips are twisted and bitten, and he's standing in an empty space. Like he was the center of it all.
And despite the hands tugging at Jason's arms, trying to pull him back to engage in some other insane action, he brushes them off. He worms his way through the slick bodies, bumping into more than a couple of people, struggling not to trip over his own two feet. He makes it to Leo fairly quickly though, stumbling into him slightly. Leo's warm hands brace his arms, fingers tracing the golden cuffs.
"Hey," he breathes, smelling the alcohol on his breath. Leo wrinkles his nose. His hands grip a little harder on Jason's arms, like he was trying to steady him.
"I don't like this," he admits softly, his voice a quiet hum under the rest of the noise. It has a slight rasp, probably from his own screaming he must've been doing, but it's comforting nonetheless. "I don't..I don't know, Jason. This doesn't feel right."
"No, no, no," Jason murmurs, squinting down at him. He swallows heavily, the action taking more effort than he would like to admit. Leo seems to notice, his eyes trailing down to his sticky throat, and watching his adam's apple bob. "It's okay--'s okay. I'm just having fun. You--you should have fun too."
"I am," Leo assures, his voice a little warmer. "I'm worried about you--"
"Shhh," Jason utters through laughter, reaching up and taking both of Leo's smaller boney hands in his, "Dance with me. Relax."
Leo doesn't protest, so Jason takes that to drag him out into the sunken living room. The music grows, but Jason focuses on the heat of Leo's hands. The way his fingers press against Jason's. The way they drag across his palm, like they aren't sure if they want to let go or not. They don't get the chance to decide though, because Jason's pulling Leo close, so close he can feel his cider-soaked breath ghosting across his cheeks.
Eventually, Leo loosens up a little. He teaches Jason some dances he didn't know, some traditional ones he learned from his mother. They're fun, loose, and fluid. Jason enjoys the quick heavy rhythm of his feet as Leo guides him around and spins him. It gives him the same floating feeling that drinking did. It made his chest feel light and airy, like he was on cloud nine, but the feeling is replaced by the thicker fleeting feeling when someone walks by and offers him a drink.
And, Jason knows this is the point he should say no. He'd promised his sister he'd be safe--and he could tell that he was worrying Leo. But everything was beginning to feel normal again. It felt more like California, and less like Texas, but now Leo was here too. He liked that thought. He thinks, briefly, that he'd take Leo to California with him if he could. Bring him home.
Leo would do good in California. He was smart, ambitious, everything you needed to be to survive there. Everything Jason wasn't.
But that was why he drank. To get rid of those thoughts for a little while. To abandon the sinking feeling that constantly occupied his gut--and kept him from experiencing teenagerhood the way he should be--and haunted his thoughts. When he was drunk, his only focus was having fun. Nothing about his father or his mother, or his sister, or Piper and Reyna.
And, lastly, thoughts about himself. About the future. About whether or not he'd be successful or forgotten. If he'd live up to everything that was built for him--and yet, still be good enough for everything that was sacrificed for him to get there.
But he doesn't say no.
He takes the drink, finishing it in three large sips. The warmth disappears from his hand, and suddenly, his eyes are focusing on Leo's retreating figure. The cup drops to the floor, the remains of it dropping to the floor and splattering over the creme-colored carpet. A couple people turn and look at him, confused, but nobody pays him too much attention till he screams for Leo to wait.
He doesn't pay attention to the people pausing what they were doing to stare at him, to scrunch their faces up and share judging looks with other people. Leo does stop, turning to stare at him just as shocked as everyone else had. Jason stumbles through the living room after him, shoulders knocking against other people without a care in the world. A manner which was completely unlike him.
"See," Leo sighs, "This is what I mean. You're---ugh, Jason let's go."
"Go?" he echoes, blinking blearily. Leo nods, fast and urgent, and grabbing at his wrist to lead him to the front door.
"Go," he repeats, "I'll drive. We'll go get food and sober you up."
"You can drive?" Jason asks, as they leave the house. The cold October air hits him like a brick wall, but it fills his nose and begins to wear away at the acidic burn of alcohol in the back of his throat.
Leo squints at him from over his shoulder. "My mom is a mechanic. Of course I can drive."
"Do you even have a license?"
"No," Leo admits, pressing his lips together as they make their way towards Jason's truck, "I have a permit that expired two years ago though."
Well. At least he passed some sort of test once. Jason trusted him not to crash his truck on the barren streets, at least. He climbs into the passenger seat, shakily buckling himself in, as Leo fishes around for the keys in the center console. He eventually finds wherever Jason had buried them and starts the car. He pulls out of the driveway, and the sound of boosted bass and shouts fade off in the distance.
Jason isn't sure where they're going, but each turn Leo takes is a little too fast and jerky and makes him feel dizzy and nauseous all at once. He holds onto the roof handle for dear life, eyes squeezed shut as he tries not to focus on the way his stomach churns. He probably deserves it though. This was the most he'd drunk in months, and it was clearly coming back to bite him in the ass.
"Are you mad?" he manages to get out through gritted teeth. He peeks his eyes open to see Leo's furrowed set brows, as he hits the left turn signal and takes a sharp turn to get them downtown.
"No," he grumbles, obviously mad. Then, his face melts a little, and he gives a small sigh. "Well, not mad. Just concerned."
"Why?' Jason chokes out, feeling a burning sensation in the back of his throat. From what, he doesn't know, but he focuses on trying to ignore it.
Leo gives him a look that seems to ask, 'are you serious?' before turning his attention back to the road. "You just drank your weights worth in alcohol and acted...completely unlike yourself. Of course I'm worried."
And, well, Jason supposed he hadn't thought about it that way. Piper never questioned his heavy drinking--because usually, she was right beside him doing it as well. Reyna hardly went to parties, and never really acknowledged that side of him. It made sense for Leo to be concerned. He never saw this side of Jason before--the wilder side. The side that would do anything to just forget.
To be free.
Leo gave him a lot of freedom too.
"I don't want to be dramatic," the shorter boy admits, sparing Jason a look. His hands shift on the wheel, taking a small curve that has Jason's head spinning a little. "I just care, okay?"
"No, I get it," Jason mutters, staring down at his lap. "You aren't being dramatic."
Leo pulls into a McDonalds parking lot, jerkily putting the car in park. The parking job wasn't the best, a little crooked with the wheels turned towards the right, but it wasn't like there were any other cars around to see. Leo shifts in his seat, turning to grab the plastic bags of their change of clothes from the back. The initial plan was to stay at Annabeth's for a couple of hours following the party, and therefore, have comfy clothes to relax in before they headed home. It was mostly just supposed to be an opportunity for some of them to sober up.
The plastic bag is shoved out in his direction, and Leo slides out of the car, holding Jason's car keys in one hand and his own bag of clothes in the other.
"C'mon, we can go change in the restroom then order some food."
They do just that. Silently, Jason is grateful for his sober self for packing grey sweatpants and a navy-blue sweatshirt. After all, his toga did very little to combat the october cold. He told Leo this much when he emerged from the bathroom.
"Technically, it's not October anymore. It's November," Leo explains, holding up his phone to show Jason the clock. It's around one in the morning, but Jason's eyes choose to focus on his wallpaper instead. It's a picture of him and Leo that he hadn't even known had been taken. It's back from hoco with Leo smiling at the camera cheerily. A foot behind him, Jason sees himself staring at Leo instead.
Leo pockets his phone too quickly for Jason to comment on it.
Their food is delivered to them by an exhausted night shift worker, who seemed absolutely livid to see Jason and Leo here. He's sure they were the perfect picture of innocence, with Jason's reeking of alcohol and Leo wearing a ratty shirt and neon orange basketball shorts.
Jason demolishes a mcdouble, having never felt hungrier. After that, he speeds through his fries and large diet coke. The entire time Leo records him, saying something about future blackmail between his choked laughs. The minute Jason finishes his salty meal; it immediately revolts in his stomach. Groaning, he settles his head down on the table, only making Leo laugh harder.
"Deserved," he says, but then reaches out and pats Jason's head. Then, he asks, "Do you think they're still serving their halloween special meal?"
"S not October anymore," Jason mumbles, peeking out from his position buried in his arm. "'S not halloween."
"Well it's Día de Los Muertos," Leo argues, placing his head in his palm and looking thoughtfully out to the cashier, "We eat lots of candy for that."
"You celebrate?" Jason asks, and once he's said that it just sounds stupid. Of course they celebrate. But Leo looks over to him and smiles a little. Something shy, and a little appreciative. Jason's intoxicated mind also finds that it's a little pretty.
He nods and grabs his phone. He swipes through his photos for a minute, before turning the screen and showing him a picture of an older man with coiling white hair, and grin that matches the one holding the phone. In his arms is a small baby with tawny skin and tufts of brown hair peeking out from a yellow infant hat. Jason spots the resemblance immediately.
"That's my abuelo," Leo explains, "We celebrate him and the rest of my family every year. He's actually buried not too far from here. Just a little way out from Houston."
Jason perks up in his seat across from Leo, nearly knocking over his empty tray of food in the process. Leo blinks at him, slowly sipping from his own root beer. Jason's head swivels around to stare at the electronic menus. They didn't have many options for sweets, but they did have mcflurries with oreos and m&ms. Dairy did help with hangover symptoms. Maybe Jason can pregame it or something.
"Lets go visit him," Jason eventually settles on saying, working through the heavy slur in his voice. His exhaustion was beginning to hit him now that his stomach was full and he's stopped constantly moving. He's pretty sure it was obvious to Leo too, but the other boy only stared at him. His eyes were wide, long eyelashes ghosting shadows across his high cheekbones. His round lips parted slightly, showing a glimpse of his teeth.
"You want to see my abuelo?" he mumbles, like he wasn't quite sure he heard it right. Jason nods, even though his head feels heavy, and points at the board.
"We can bring the mcflurries, they have candy in them."
Leo's wide eyes melt into something crinkled and warm, and his mouth forms into a beautifully blinding smile. Suddenly, Jason feels a lot better about his dumb and drunken idea. Leo looks down at the trays, hands curling around his root beer. "That's...that's really thoughtful of you," he says softly, his wide grin melting into something smaller and fonder, "I think that's a great idea."
They get two small mcflurries with m&ms to go, and the cashier looks like they just offered her a hundred dollars just by leaving. They crawl back into the car, and Leo punches the address of the cemetary into the gps. Meanwhile, Jason reclines in the passenger seat, struggling to keep his eyes open.
"It's a thirty-minute drive," Leo whispers, looking back at him as he pulls out of the parking lot. His right hand settles on the center console as he peers over his shoulder. As if there would be anybody behind him to hit at this hour. "You can fall asleep," he adds on, glancing down at Jason who'd pushed the seat back a considerable amount. "I don't mind."
"Wake me up when we get there, 'kay?" Jason asks through a yawn, curling one leg up towards his chest. Leo nods, and his hand is about to pull back to the wheel when Jason grabs it. They brake, rather abruptly, but Leo stutters through an apology and turns out onto the road.
His hand is warm in Jason's and it sits in his palm like it was meant to be there. Jason doesn't want to let go.
So, he doesn't. And Leo never takes his hand back.
Unsurprisingly, Jason is asleep in a matter of minutes. It's a short and dreamless sleep and completely undisturbed until Leo has to remove his hand to put the car in park. Jason sits up blearily when those delicate fingers slip away from him, and he's ashamed by the almost whine-like sound that escapes him when it happens. Leo lets out a soft chuckle, unlike his usual teasing giggles when he finds something funny at the expense of somebody else.
It makes Jason feel safe when he laughs like that.
Their drinks had slightly melted during the trip, but that didn't take away their flavor at least. They both slip out of the car and are met by a looming silver gate.
"Have you ever hopped a gate before?" Leo asks, passing over his mcflurry to Jason.
"No," he mutters, raising an eyebrow, "I don't think it's a thing most people know how to do."
Leo glances at him from over his shoulder, tilting his head with a crooked little grin. "Well, then you should be glad I'm not like most people."
Jason's stomach does a funny little flip at that look, but it's easier to blame that on the alcohol rather than anything else. He holds the two slowly melting drinks in his hands as Leo fits his feet into two of the metal rungs of the bars and scales the medium height fence. Once he's at the top, he flips himself over and crawls down the other side. Then, he looks at Jason through the metal bars and beckons him forth.
They manage to squeeze the two mcflurries through the spaces between the bars. Then, Jason tries to copy the maneuvers Leo had done to hop the fence. In his inebriated state, it's a lot harder for him to find his equilibrium and therefore he nearly tips over and falls about a dozen times before he reaches the top of the fence. This was the part about being drunk that he didn't like.
When he reaches the top, he settles for a moment, taking the time to breathe and try to think. Leo laughs loud and open, before settling their drinks down on the gravel. He takes a couple steps closer and spreads his arms wide. Then, he winks cheekily.
"If you fall, I'll catch you," he teases, jutting out his arms again, and Jason decides to blame his next series of actions also on the alcohol.
When he pushes himself off the fence, he flails a little, entirely ungraceful. Leo lets out a strangled little shout when Jason's body collides with his, and sends them both sprawling onto the gravel, and narrowly avoiding their two drinks. Leo's knees give out, not actually anticipating Jason's full body weight to try to crush him into the ground.
He isn't really sure what happened, but the world is spinning again and he feels insanely dizzy. It takes a moment for him to pry his eyes open again, his body pressed up against something warm. Something that makes him just want to melt and fall asleep. Honestly, he's really tempted.
When he opens his eyes again, he finds that his hands were braced on either side of Leo's head, gravel and rock imprints pressed into his palms. Leo's face was buried in the fabric of his sweatshirt sleeve, and when Jason props his torso up, he blinks a couple of times and scrunches his face like he was trying to work the feeling back into it.
Jason is overly aware of his knee between Leo's legs.
Leo does not seem to be overly aware of this fact.
"When I said I'll catch you," he groans, bringing a hand up from his side to rub at the back of his head, "I didn't actually mean it."
Jason pouts, leaning over him. Their faces are maybe five inches apart at most, and at this point, he isn't sure if the heat is radiating off his own cheeks or Leo's. "'M drunk. You can't say stuff you don't mean."
Leo laughs, his chest shaking and brushing Jason's. His knees bend slightly, and he looks at Jason with a lazy lidded gaze. "My bad, superman. Sometimes I forget you're only human."
Jason huffs, and sits up. Leo slides out from underneath him, rubbing at his scraped-up elbows, but hopping up and grabbing their drinks anyway. Then, he extends a hand to Jason to help pull him up. They almost go stumbling and teetering to the side again, but Jason manages to catch himself before they fall entirely. So, that was a win, at least.
Leo guides him through the cemetery, using his phone flashlight to make sure they don’t accidentally step on any graves. Jason follows close behind him, not daring to venture too far away.
It’s maybe a three minute walk at most, and then Leo stops. Jason slides up beside him, and follows the flashlight beam to the headstone.
SAMUEL “SAMMY” VALDEZ
BELOVED FATHER AND GRANDFATHER
MAY. 2ND 1922— AUG. 14TH 2008
MI CORAZÓN, MI ALMA, MI AMOR
Leo settled down on the dirt in front of the gravestone, sitting criss cross. He pats the spot next to him for Jason, and hands him his drink.
“Hi abuelo,” Leo says softly, his voice carried by the wind of the empty graveyard, “Happy Día de Los Muertos. I brought my friend, Jason, to visit tonight.”
Leo pauses, as if waiting for a response. Then he turns to look at Jason, encouraging him to speak. Slowly, Jason says, “Hello Mr. Valdez. Um, it’s nice to meet you.”
This wasn’t an experience Jason was used to. He wasn’t even sure where his mom was buried, or if she was buried. He was too young to register anything that went down when it did, and smart enough to know better than to ask about her.
Maybe Thalia would know. Maybe sometime they could visit her. Maybe sometime in the future he could bring Leo with him.
They eat their mcflurries in silence, listening to the rustle of leaves and the cicadas chirp.
“Do you normally bring flowers?” Jason asked, to which Leo nodded. He lowered his vanilla splattered spoon from his lips, dropping it in his almost empty cup.
“Yeah, and food. But in the morning my mom and I will put all that on the ofrenda, so he’ll just have to wait till then.”
”I don’t know that much about the holiday,” Jason admits with a small shrug, “But I’m glad you’re sharing this with me.”
Leo looks at him—and Jason means really looks at him. Then he sets down his cup and pulls Jason in for a hug. He rests his chin on his shoulder, squeezing Jason tight.
“I couldn’t imagine sharing it with anybody else.”
how did you get used to the haunting
the willing, the missing, the wanting
dry eyes, you send me across the divine
hangman, teach me how not to cry.
[ An instagram story from Leo’s account. It’s a video of Jason eating his mcdonald’s burger, sauce smeared on his cheeks as he bites through it. You can hear Leo’s laughter as he does so. Jason slurs something unintelligible, before leaning back and letting out a groan. The caption across the bottom reads: i don’t think they feed him at home… ]
Notes:
um. ive never drank a day in my life. or been to a party like this.
i feel like im always apologizing for inaccuracies LMAO
can you tell the whole cemetery part was NOT planned and added at 11pm on a sunday night … cuz i certainly can!
Chapter 9: i have a feeling you got everything you wanted
Notes:
chapter title from “we hug now” by sydney rose!! additional lyrics from “rumor has it” by adele & "songbird" by fleetwood mac
tws for child abuse and neglect. we get into it from thalias perspective …
short chapter, mostly only existing for the thalia-jason aspect
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason was so utterly screwed.
He’d fucked up. Like big time.
Of course, the kids in a small town in Texas didn’t party like pent-up kids of millionaires in California. Of course they don’t understand Jason’s home issues—his mental issues. Of course when he drank until he could barely remember anything, they were bound to say something about it.
Now, when kids whispered the name Jason Grace it wasn’t about his big win at the homecoming game, or about the fact he got an A on every single assignment he had. It was about his feat with the keg stand, his win in beer pong, his twisted dance with Silena, and the scene he’d made when Leo tried to leave. Plus, a horrific amount of things Jason had been too black-out drunk to even remember.
It was godawful. He’d already stood out enough, now, he was basically everyone talked about.
Leo had tried to tell him not to worry about it—to be thankful he got out of there before he could’ve done something truly stupid. But he didn’t actually understand, and neither did Annabeth, Frank, or Will. They’d looked at him even worse than Leo had.
Somehow, Jason had single-handedly ruined his reputation in one night.
”Sometimes that’s just the way things go,” Frank had murmured, eyes shifting around. It earned him a harsh glare from Leo, but it did very little to ease Jason’s nerves.
One morning, Leo had slid into his seat next to Jason in calculus. His fingers tapped anxiously against his textbook, glinting with golden rings, before he’d dipped his head and whispered, “So you really were a secret party animal?”
Jason sighed, scrubbing at his face with his hand. “I guess…I don’t know. It’s not like I’m proud of it.”
He wasn’t sure how to explain that sometimes drinking was the only escape he could get, and when he started, it was like he could never stop. He couldn’t tell him that maybe it made him feel a little closer to his mother; made him wonder if she felt the same race in her heart and flush in her cheeks.
Made him wonder if it was what she felt when she died—if this was the closest he’d ever get with her.
But, it wasn’t like it was an exclusive feeling. That past night, with Leo at the graveyard, or in the park. Those had given him a similar feeling. Not the same—not nearly the same—but it took him away from the internal pain for a bit. Distracted him, but also made him happy.
Maybe more than happy.
He didn’t understand what Leo made him feel, but it wasn’t like anything he’d ever felt before.
It was almost intoxicating.
“I know,” Leo had replied, his lips twisted. “You don’t…drink often, do you?”
Jason had shaken his head, unable to meet those brown eyes he’d taken to staring at. “No,” he’d admitted softly, “Only when the opportunity arises. Which isn’t often.”
“So I shouldn’t be worried?”
He’d shook his head, reached out and squeezed Leo’s hand, and said, “No. I don’t want you to be. I can take care of myself.”
It’d taken a minute for Leo to respond, but eventually he whispered, “Doesn’t mean you should have to all the time.”
And before Jason could ask what he’d meant by that, the teacher had cleared her throat and begun the lesson. It’d forced Jason’s thoughts of Leo away, and onto worse things, like calculus and his parents. The exact kind of thing he didn't want to happen.
So yeah, ultimately, he was fucked up.
It felt like his entire world was collapsing a bit, which felt dramatic, but that was how it felt. Jason had rarely ever dealt with anything like this before. He was used to disappointing his parents, but nobody had ever cared about him enough at his old school when he made a mistake. Because, when he had to be perfect, he was perfect and that was all that mattered to them.
But everyone had seen him falter, break down. Maybe he should've waited longer, should've built up his status a little more. Made it harder for those cracks to form and deteriorate beneath him. He could handle a couple of stares in the hallway, maybe even a passing jab, but it was entirely different to have your own friends stare at you like you were a monster. Like you'd let them down.
all these words whispered in my ear
tell a story
that i cannot bear to hear
just cause i said it, it don't mean that i meant it
people say crazy things
NOVEMBER 3RD
incoming message from a saved contact
3:46pm
I messed up
Pipes :)
um how
I drank. Like a lot
Now everyone thinks I'm like
A druggie or something probably
Pipes :)
you mean they know ur a raging alcoholic
Piper.
Pipes :)
sorry bad timing for a joke
but tbh just ignore it
like it's beyond you atp
they don't matter
They do matter though
I care about what they think
I need to like
idk
Pipes :)
be perfect? cuz u don't
this new school was supposed to be a fresh start
so let it be
When did you get so wise?
Pipes :)
well with you gone reyna's the only one here
and she'll only listen to my tomfoolery to an extent
Y'know a guy down here reminds me a lot of you
His name is Leo
I think you guys would be good friends
Pipes :)
and does leo hate you for slipping up?
No
He's actually the one that helped me
Pipes :)
proves my point then
don't let urself resort back to old habits
That's harder than it sounds
Pipes :)
but it's the right thing to do
isnt it
for you, there'll be no more crying
for you, the sun will be shining
and i feel that when i'm with you
it's alright, i know it's right
to you, i will give the world
to you, i'll never be cold
After dropping Will off at his house--which was a rare occasion nowadays--Jason found himself sitting in the garage holding his car keys.
The other night, when he'd returned home closer to five in the morning, Thalia hadn't questioned him. He'd sobered out enough to be coherent and Leo had insisted on walking home, so it wasn't like he had to get his car dropped off or anything. To her, nothing was wrong.
To Jason, everything was wrong.
Alcohol brought him close to his mother, but he never wanted to get to that level. He never wanted to be an addict. He knew what it did to people firsthand, he'd seen how deteriorated their mother was, how awful she was. Yet, Jason still missed her terribly. He missed hazy memories of her picking him up, smiling at him, calling him hers.
He wonders how different things would be if their father hadn't taken them, if his mother had lived. Would the alcohol have killed her anyway? Maybe, or well, most likely. But, he would've had a little longer with her.
Though, Jason isn't so sure if that was something he would want.
The idea of it sounded nice, but the reality didn't.
Eventually, he pulls himself out the truck. He shoulders his bag and makes his way inside. Each step feels a little too heavy, too clunky. It took too much effort, strained him too much. Jason wanders into the house, feeling more ghost-like than anything. When he emerges into the shared living room-kitchen area, he sees two pairs of eyes.
Thalia's standing in the kitchen, a fresh and cold water bottle in hand. On the other side of the room, Luke has one arm thrown over the back of the couch, his sentence dying out halfway through. When he sees Jason, he gives a charming wave and grins, "Hey Jason!"
Normally, Jason would respond. He knew to respond, as that was the polite thing, but instead his head shifts back over to Thalia's direction. Whatever it is he's feeling must show on his face, because Thalia lowers the bottle onto the counter and rounds it in seconds.
"Luke," she says slowly, eyes flickering away from Jason's face for only a moment, "I don't think now's the best time. Can we put a pin in today?"
He rises from the couch, looking between them, clearly trying to find what he was missing. But, he shrugs, and grabs his bike keys off the counter. He gives Thalia a squeeze to her arm as a form of goodbye, but falters at Jason. Luke nods tersely, then is disappearing down the hall.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, in place of ‘are you okay?’ because she wasn’t that kind of person. When Jason takes a moment to respond, she wraps her fingers around his wrist and half brings-half drags him over to the couch. When they sit down, she pulls her legs up and looks at him intently.
Jason’s mouth feels dry, but he tries to swallow and ignore it anyway. Thalia wouldn’t judge him—she’d be disappointed, maybe a bit surprised, but she wouldn’t be angry with him.
“At the party,” he starts, voice hoarser than expected, “I drank. Like, a lot. I always have when I go to stuff like that. I’m sorry—I know you told me not to…” he cuts himself off, finding her eyes. She doesn’t seem surprised, and he isn’t sure how to feel about that, but she reaches out and places a hand on his cheek.
”I knew. Or well, I had a feeling,” she admits softly. Then, her eyes gain a harsher look. “And I’ve been there, but Jason, you have to promise me you won’t become dependent on that stuff. It’ll ruin you—“
”I’m already ruined, aren’t I?”
Thalia’s voice falters, stuttering to a stop, she looks at him as her eyes widen. Quietly, she utters, “What do you mean?”
“Mom,” he emphasizes, opening his palms and holding them out in front of him, “She started the whole cycle. I went to parties in California—I drank, like a lot, Thals. I thought it wasn’t a problem, but after this last party…some people made me realize maybe it was.”
Thalia’s quiet for a moment, and he hears her slow attempts at even breathing. Like she was trying to lee herself from having a big reaction. She was like their father in that regard—an insane temper and overflow of emotions—she just, sometimes, had better control over it.
“You drink because of mom?” she settles on saying, her voice thin. “Because she was an alcoholic? B-Because you were influenced?”
“No,” he assures quickly, already sensing the rise in temper. Jason’s kind of fortunate he didn’t get as angry as quickly as she did, but when he did get angry, it wasn’t pretty. Which is why he did his best to prevent such strong emotions most of the time—including suppressing it through alcohol. “Well, maybe? I tried it and…it made my thoughts a little easier, y’know?”
”No,” Thalia says, “I don’t. But I want to. Will you explain it to me?”
Her smaller hand reaches out and grabs his left one, snaking her fingers between his and interlocking their fingers. She gave it a comforting squeeze, urging him to go on.
“I…when I drink I don’t have to think about things. Like mom or dad, or even sometimes football and school. I can just…exist and be me.”
Thalia nods, pressing her lips together in an active attempt to remain silent. She holds his hand a little tighter, rubbing her thumb along the side of his hand. She doesn’t meet his eyes, staring at their intertwined fingers like they might give her the answers to all her current problems.
“I can just be Jason,” he relents with a sigh, “No expectations or anything. Or, at least, back in California I could be because nobody cared. It’s different here…” he cuts himself off, trying to ignore the shake in his voice. “They all think I’m a raging alcoholic or something.”
It’s a while before Thalia says anything again, probably a hundred different thoughts thundering through her head. But she never lets go of his hands, still applying ample amounts of pressure.
”They said similar things about me,” she whispers quietly, “actually, probably worse. I don’t know what they called you but…I just hope it’s nothing like what they called me.”
”You…had problems with acting out too?” he asks, to which she nods.
“It’s why I left.”
Jason stills, blinking a couple of times. His gaze shifts to Thalia’s face, which has gone pale and stoney. Her gaze is thunderous though, as if she was recalling bad memories.
She left when he was young, around nine. Back when he still glamorized their father and step-mother, before he questioned their judgement over him. When they left their mother, he’d been too young to understand why it was a good thing. But, he had clean clothes and a full stomach. He got to play soccer or swim in the backyard. Thalia was doing better too, being able to go out and make friends instead of stay at home and take care of him.
They’d spent a couple good years together there—or at least, they’d been good to Jason. Hera treated him like a perfect little son, understanding he was too young to fulfill all those things she made him do now but young enough that his chubby cheeks and high-pitched giggles were still charming enough for her to lean into motherhood.
On the other hand, Thalia was in the young teenager part of life, and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.
Back then, Jason hadn’t understood. To him, their stepmother was sweet and caring, and doing much better by them than their old mother. When he told Thalia such, she’d just scowled at him and shut him out.
“Mom wasn’t good, but that woman isn’t any better.”
That was what she used to say whenever Jason tried to question her on it, and everytime she said it, he never understood.
He’d been able to enjoy living a richer, cleaner, and nicer life. But, it wasn’t always like that, he knew that. He’d heard their screaming matches whilst trying to do homework in the living room. They’d echoed through the house, the voices of Thalia and their parents ricocheting.
The maids had always been a little nicer to him in those times. They’d always placed dishes of diced strawberries and rolls of crackers in front of him with kind smiles as his sisters enraged shouts turned to shrieking sobs.
It really wasn’t a surprise when his father turned that attention on him after she left.
“I snuck out, went to parties, got bad grades. I dressed ‘wrong’ or didn’t act lady-like. I drank. I was the most awful kid you could imagine. The media went crazy about it too—back when they actually cared about us and Mom. And Dad couldn’t handle it so…they punished me. Eventually I had to leave.”
“Dad doesn’t like to talk about you,” he confesses, “I get in trouble sometimes if I do and he’s in a bad mood.”
“Typical,” she snarks, rolling her eyes. “They tried to protect you from me…I was trying to protect you from them. Conflicting goals.”
“I don’t get it,” Jason admits softly, “Why did you fight with them so much?”
It sounded almost hypocritical for him to say that at this point. His last couple of months with his father and step-mother had been full of fighting, except, it felt rather one sided. Most of the time it was Jason acting out, and them trying and struggling to contain their anger and give him a second chance. The whole reason he was here was because they’d gotten fed up of doing that.
It was very rare his father ever hit him. It only happened when Jason really pissed him off. Or, when he brought up something he knew he shouldn’t have. Like Thalia, or his mother.
Maybe it was part of what contributed to making thoughts about his mother so difficult to deal with—why he’d rather drink and forget than reflect. Nobody ever let him talk about her.
”He’s not a good person, you know that. None of them are.”
”That’s true, but, he did more for us than Mom did.”
Thalia shakes her head, swallowing thickly. “He ruined her. She—she used to be a good mom. But when he left her, she got so hooked on getting him back. And—and just like you she resorted to alcohol instead of allowing herself to process stuff.”
Jason’s heart pounds in his chest, and the rapid crashing of his world seems to come to a halt.
“Just like you.”
”She was like me?”
Thalia looks at him, the thunder in her eyes having died down. She looks at him sadly, before reaching out and wrapping her arms around him. Jason melts into her, resting his face on her shoulder as she holds him.
“You got all her good qualities,” she whispers, “You’re charming, and caring, and cunning. Dad and alcohol ruined her. I miss her a lot but…I resent her too. For all her good qualities, she had a lot of bad ones too. Which is what led to her choosing him and drinks over us.”
“She was still good after you were born,” Jason reminds her, eyes unfocused, “Was it because of me? Was I not good enough for her?”
Thalia holds him tighter, squeezing her arms around him. She rocks him, as you would a child, holding him protectively.
“No, you were perfect. Better than me. Jason,” she grabs his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers, “She adored you.”
“Then why did she chose alcohol over us?”
Thalia sighs, looking over his head and past him like she was seeing something faraway.
“When you get to that stage, it’s no longer a choice. But when she was sober, she cherished you like nothing else.”
Jason settles in her arms again. His varsity jacket is bulky, bunching up around his shoulders, but Thalia just holds onto him. Jason feels like he could cry, but at the same time, he feels just numb in comparison to it all.
“I wish I got to know her longer,” he tells her. Thalia rubs at his back, resting her chin on his head.
“I think that would only make it harder for you. She would’ve gotten worse, somehow, and I wouldn’t have wanted you to see that.”
They sit there like that for a minute. Jason wishes he had photos of her, but not the paparazzi and old red carpet ones. He wants the regular ones, the ones all children have of their mothers, the ones that bring back good memories and nostalgic scents and sounds.
Thalia resented their parents for hurting them, for not giving them the chance to live and exist. She protected him from so much over the years, to the point where she just couldn’t shoulder it anymore. Then, all those things Jason had overlooked came and hit him square in the face. He couldn’t just ignore it anymore, because Thalia wasn’t there to save him.
When he was younger, after she left and everything started falling on him, he’d once been mad at her. He’d once felt like she didn’t care for him, that she’d abandoned her job as his big sister. He’d gotten over that quickly, through realizing just how much their parents put on her when it was put on him.
Besides, she’d been just as much of a kid as he is.
Maybe, someday in the future, Jason might be able to escape too.
Notes:
this chapter is shorter, as are the next few, and mostly because post chapter 11 these tend to get pretty plot-filled and heavy in content ESPECIALLY revolving valgrace. my goal in the beginning is to do 2 chapters per update, but if i posted this one with chapter 10 it would throw off the vibe i feel, so this is getting grouped in with chapters 7 & 8 which are more valgrace centric than this one.
i felt as though this chapter was very necessary to delve into thalia and jason’s backstory, and their issues regarding their parents. i also wanted an excuse to use my girl thalia more pre-thanksgiving chapter and also to more permanently establish the bond they have
i hope you guys enjoy this <33
Chapter 10: you can hear it in the silence
Notes:
chapter title from "you are in love" by taylor swift! additional lyrics from “no.1 party anthem” by arctic monkeys.
it’s here …
no tw for this one!! all happy :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Suddenly, things in Texas are starting to feel a lot more serious for Jason.
It’s already November seventh, meaning there was only twenty more days till Jason—and Thalia—were due to fly home for Thanksgiving break. But that was just it. It was the both of them and only temporary.
And honestly, Jason wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
Part of him wanted to return home. He missed Piper and Reyna, and their roadtrips and late night drives. He missed their long conversations and nights falling asleep on the phone after studying for classes. He missed San Francisco, and its chilled beaches and fog-filled beautiful city. He missed his school, and the students who just let him be and didn’t care.
To a further extent, he even found himself missing his father and stepmother. Just slightly.
But, he knew that if he moved home, he’d miss Texas.
Maybe even more than he missed California now.
He’d miss his beat-up truck, and his attic bedroom. He’d miss the guys on the football team and the small cafe downtown. He’d miss Annabeth and Will, who carried intelligent and emotional conversation. He’d miss his sister, who he had just gotten back for the first time in years.
Lastly, he’d miss Leo.
Leo who stood in the stands, proudly wearing Jason’s extra alternately colored jersey as he screamed his name with the golden ‘12’ displayed across his chest and back.
They’d already won the game, the one that determined and secured their spot in the national championships this winter. Jason was sweaty, and gross, with eyeblack smeared on his cheeks, but it was senior night so they hung back.
Most normal watchers had left along with the other team, but friends and family hung back in the stands to support and celebrate. It’s cooler than it normally is in Texas, as the winter months crept closer, but still a comfortable temperature.
Out amongst Leo in the stands is Thalia. She wore her usual attire, holding up her cracked ipad where Piper and Reyna were watching via facetime call. Next to them was Will, hoisting up a poster with Frank’s jersey number and a couple printed out baby pictures glued onto it.
Over the speaker, the announcer goes down the line, starting at Beckendorf and ending a couple numbers after Jason. They also had recognized the senior marching band and cheerleaders, with Annabeth having gone up in her drum major uniform before them.
Frank was called up as number seven, taking a picture with his mother, dressed in full military garb, and his frailer looking grandmother.
“Next up, team quarterback, number twelve, Jason Grace!”
Jason makes his way up to the track, pulling off his helmet. He’s sure he looked lovely, cheeks a mix of pink and eyeblack, and his hair stuck up with sweat.
Thalia makes her way down from the stands, still on the call with Piper and Reyna. She hops a small chained fence to get over quicker, making her way over to Jason. She gives him a quick hug, before showing him his friends.
Their voices are muffled and garbled as they cheer for him, making a large grin split his face. He gives them his thanks, waving at them. Then, Thalia’s sliding up next to him preparing to take their professional photo.
“Wait,” he gets out, before the photo is snapped, “Can I get someone else out here?”
He hears a vague snicker from the ipad, probably Piper, but the photographer gives him an annoyed nod. Jason brings one hand to cup his mouth, shouting out Leo’s name, and startling him.
He points at himself, before laughing and dashing down from the stands and down the ramp. He bursts through the gate, and makes it over to Jason in record time.
“Hey,” he greets, his voice light and breathless. “You were great tonight, Superman.”
”Thanks,” he whispers back, glancing at the growing irritation of the photographer. Jason pulls him close by his hip, grasping the small curve of his side into his large palm to pull him close, and poses for the photo. He doesn’t mention the squeak Leo lets out when he does it.
The photographer snaps the photo, deeming it good and shoos them off. Jason gives Thalia one more good hug and tells her he’d pack up quick, then promises Piper and Reyna he’d talk to them soon.
His hand grabs Leo’s before he can walk away though, and leans in close to ask, “Do you want to stay the night?”
Leo blinks a couple times, eyes seemingly fixed on their hands, before smiling. “Yeah, I’ll wait with Thalia by your truck.”
Then, he’s off to follow Thalia, leaving Jason with a buzzing feeling in his gut.
drunken monologues, confused because
it’s not like i’m falling in love
i just want ya to do me no good
and you look like you could
the look of love
the rush of blood
An hour or so later, Jason finds himself laidback in bed in his grey sweats. He has his phone in his hand, scrolling absentmindedly through instagram, while he waits for Leo’s return.
It turns out, he doesn’t have to wait that long.
“Am I gonna have to sleep on the air mattress?” he half whines-half asks, emerging at the top of the stairs. He cradles his clothes, plus Jason’s jersey, in his arms. He sets it down on the dresser, before sparing a glance over his shoulder.
Jason sets his phone down on his stomach, turning his head in that direction. Leo’s curls are damp, shining with water from his previous shower. He wore red and black pajama pants, paired with his usual ratty old band tee. A couple bracelets jingled around on his wrist, as he scratched the back of his head.
“Only if you want to,” Jason says, blinking blearily. “I don’t really care.”
Leo laughs, turning his back to him. “Well good, cause I don’t feel like having a stiff back in the morning.”
That earns him an eye roll, as Jason fluffs his pillow to settle against it more comfortably, content to watch Leo patter around and do his stuff before bed.
With Leo’s ADHD, it often meant he had to occupy himself by doing every possible task he could before he finally relented and went to bed. Which meant the nights they had sleepovers led to this, Jason laying in his bed half-awake, while Leo rambled on about one thing or the other whilst doing an opposite task.
Such as, attempt to make 12 successful hoops on Jason’s crappy plastic basketball net hanging from his closet door.
Jason watched, one hand tucked behind his head, as Leo tried—and failed—to dribble the ball.
He was halfway through some complaint about a robotics newbie when Jason interrupted him by blurting out, “Why do you go by Leo?”
The ball he’d just shot sailed through the air, successfully landing through the hoop and marking his seventh one. Leo turns to him, an eyebrow raised, and asks, “Why do you want to know?”
Jason smirked, something lazy and slightly annoyed. “Curiosity,” he offers, “Humor me.”
Leo walks over to retrieve the ball from where it’d rolled into a corner. “Curiosity kills the cat.”
“Consider me dead then.”
That earns him a huff of laughter, as he tries once again to dribble the ball. Leo shoots again, but unfortunately misses. With a click of his tongue, he says, “Emiliano is my father’s middle name.”
Jason’s lazy smirk slips off his face into a settled frown. Leo doesn’t seem too happy to have relented the information, but Jason knows he wouldn’t have told him if he hadn’t wanted to.
Personally, he knows better than anyone that it’s hard to trudge up old and painful memories.
“You were named after him?” Jason asks, as if it wasn’t obvious. He doesn’t know much about Leo’s father, but what he does know, is that for whatever reason he wasn’t around anymore. It was just Leo and his mother in their small apartment above their busy shop.
“Yup,” Leo sighs, popping the ‘p’. “Thank god I don’t look like him though. He’s real ugly.”
Jason rolls his eyes, as Leo throws another hoop and lands it this time. Eight.
“Why don’t you want his name?” Jason asks quietly. His own name didn’t even belong to him. Thalia had told him this sometime after they moved in with their father. Jason was the name of one of Hera’s nephews, one that she adored. She was never able to have her own kids, so instead of divorcing their father, as long as Jason got the name she wanted she’d let his adultery slide. Jason had never thought to try to reclaim it like Leo had.
His hands on the ball still, face obscured by his curls. Leo’s fingers tap on the ball in a rhythmic pattern, almost like morse code, before he bounces it against the floor and tosses it again. He makes it. That counts nine.
“He sucks,” Leo answers shortly, “That’s why.”
Which was fair enough. He tosses the ball again, there’s ten.
“Can I ask what happened?” Jason murmurs, sitting up in bed. His phone falls from his stomach into his lap, as Leo spins the ball between his nimble fingers. Leo looks to him, his dark brows wrinkled together. Jason wants to reach out and soothe them, he wants to take whatever sorrow that man put onto him and take it away.
“He, uh, well, he left. After my Mom told him she was pregnant. His mother used to come and babysit me from time to time, but she wasn’t the best at it. So, it’s just been me and my mom for a while.”
“I had no clue,” Jason mumbles, fingers curling in the fabric of the comforter. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m over it—do we have to talk about this?” Leo’s voice is almost a whine, fingers tight on the small basketball, as he tosses another basket. Eleven.
“No, uh, we don’t. Sorry. We can talk about whatever you wanna talk about,” Jason relents, settling against his headboard.
Leo nods, turning his head to stare at him. He looks at him almost strangely, maybe, even longingly. Like he wants to tell him something but he can’t.
Jason, has a similar twisted up feeling in his gut. As thought there’s something he needs to say, but he isn’t quite so sure as to what.
“You’re a really great guy,” Jason blurts again, something he’s seemingly prone to doing around Leo. “I, um, I’m grateful to have you as my best friend. I don’t think I’d be nearly as successful here otherwise.”
That breaks the somber look on Leo’s face. It cracks into a small, genuine smile that makes Jason’s heart flutter a little. Something it probably shouldn’t do. He laughs then, tucking some of his curls behind his ear, and rasps, “Don’t get soft on me now, Grace.”
Too late.
There was just something about Leo. Something about the way his grins were cunning and crooked. Or the way he held himself so confidently, despite all the stuff going on inside his head. Perhaps that was it, his unending intelligence paired with his wit and sincerity. Maybe it was his eyes, a dark honey brown with flecks of what appeared to be embers deep within them.
Jason thinks it just might be all of him that made him soft.
And, he knows, reasonably that isn’t something he should feel for Leo. Not as his best friend.
He shouldn’t want to wrap his arm around his waist like he had earlier. Or intertwine his fingers with him during drives. Or stay on call with him after a study session. Or lay wrapped up beside him, embraced in his warmth and his scent.
Jason shouldn’t want to stand up right now and kiss him.
But he does. He isn’t sure how long he’s wanted to, but right now, it seems like something so natural and plausible that he barely questioned it.
Being with Leo felt right. It felt like being able to take a breath of fresh air and being freed. He was so light, and shouldered all of Jason’s emotions and weight without issue. He was the rock that Jason needed—he gave him a reason to keep trying in Texas.
To not just runaway at the quickest convenience.
Leo tosses the ball again, and it teeters on the edge, before dipping into the basket. He cheers, pumping his fist in the air, and making Jason’s heart swell.
“Goal completed,” he announced, fake flexing at him. “The NBA is gonna scout me.”
“Oh really?” Jason asks, trying to ignore the way his heart flutters as Leo stalks closer. He comes up to the edge of Jason’s bed, knees brushing against his thighs, as he looks down at him.
“Move over,” he says, “I want this side.”
“You’re rather bossy,” Jason huffs, but shifts over regardless. Leo crawls in where he once was, slipping under the covers and burying his face in the pillow. He mumbles some response that Jason can’t understand through the cotton in his mouth.
It was just so easy to exist around Leo. It wasn’t anything grand or special that Jason liked him romantically, because it had never changed their dynamic.
At least, not till he’s realized it, not till now.
He’d always known Leo looked good, with his messy curls and sideways smiles. But, everyday Leo somehow looked better? If that made any sense.
He wraps his arms around Jason’s pillow, propping his chin up onto it. His eyes are heavy and lidded as he stares over at Jason, spit shining his pink round lips.
Leo had gone from good looking to attractive, even pretty. Like, he was really pretty.
“You’re turning pink,” Leo comments, raising an eyebrow at him.
“No I’m not,” Jason argues back, crossing his arms, despite the very prominent heat in his cheeks.
Leo squints at him, his lips ticking upwards. “Uh-huh, and I’m a student at MIT.”
“Oh shut up,” Jason huffs, shoving at his shoulder, “You probably will be anyways.”
Leo gives a half-shrug, settling down on the pillow. “Maybe.”
Jason wasn’t sure how, but Leo manages to go from being wide awake to almost asleep in a matter of minutes. His heavy-lidded eyes are fluttering, his blinks getting slower and slower by the moment.
His lips part in a small yawn, lips smacking as he settles his head down on the pillow.
“‘M tired,” he muses, struggling to keep his eyes open to meet Jason’s.
“I see that.”
“I don’t wanna fall asleep,” Leo mutters, “I wanted to spend the night with you.”
Jason’s throat feels dry and he has to fight down the smile threatening to make its way onto his face. He leans back against his pillow, facing the ceiling. He was pretty tired himself, but he also wanted to cherish each moment he got to spend with Leo.
“It’s okay,” Jason assures, “I don’t mind.”
Leo blinks a couple more times, taking longer and longer to answer. He yawns again, shifting against the bed.
“You…were really good today,” he whispers, one hand sneaking out from under the pillow. It meets Jason’s shoulder, warm and delicate against his skin. Jason turns his head, finding Leo’s sweet gaze, as that hand creeps up his neck to find Jason’s cheek. “I like watching you play.”
Jason’s heart seizes in his chest, stuttering and beating at a pace that shouldn’t be possible. Leo’s thumb rubs idly at the space below his eye, just briefly brushing his eyelashes.
“You do?”
”Mhm. I like…watching you.”
Then, Leo’s eyes slide shut, his breathing stuttering then slowing down. He’s out in seconds, asleep before Jason can even process what he just said.
After a couple of minutes, once Jason was confident he was truly asleep, he reaches up and takes Leo’s hand. He intertwines it in his own, the way he did in the car, and twists so the back of his hand is facing him. Then, he hesitantly brushes his lips across the back of Leo’s hand, breath ghosting across his dark knuckles.
In sleep, Leo’s face was relaxed. His dark lashes cast light shadows over his high cheekbones. His lips were glossy, spread out in a sweet comforting smile. God, that smile was everything to Jason. It was like waking up to sunrays coming through your window, or fresh treats being ready when you came home.
It brought good things and happy memories. Everything about Leo did.
Everything about Leo made Jason want him.
Notes:
IT HAPPENED FINALLY !!! kind of
they’re stupid for a couple more chapters tho im ngl
also excuse how short this is, and how this update is like … interesting. i’ve only written up to chapter 12 which isn’t even halfway done, and i have band camp + my AP Lang work to finish before school starts and im lowk cooked so the next update might be a while.
Chapter 11: someone will love you better than this
Notes:
chapter title from "better than this" by lizzy mcalpine!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason soon finds, that despite how comfortable he was with the newfound knowledge that he likes Leo, he is very incapable of acting normal around him now.
Each morning when he saw him, his heart would skip a beat, and now that he knew the reasoning behind it, it killed him. Each time Leo smiled at him, or nudged him, or laughed at his jokes, it drove him insane.
And sooner or later, Leo would no doubt catch onto this.
Long story short, Jason had to get his shit together.
He couldn’t even sit next to him in class without feeling like his heart was going to explode out of his chest.
Every brush of Leo’s fingers against him, or casual sling of an arm around his shoulders only added to his stress.
Jason wasn’t used to this feeling—in a way, he kind of hated it.
It felt entirely unlike him, and part of him wondered what his father would say about this.
Probably nothing good.
He’d let his father dictate his life for so long, controlling every decision and keeping him from being able to do the things he wanted. To be able to make his own choices.
But if he was honest, he wasn’t even sure if he knew what he wanted.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true.
Jason knew he wanted Leo.
It was like torture to be around him. Near impossible to just coexist, knowing now that he liked him. That all those moments where their knees would brush or Leo would lean against him, Jason had liked him that whole time and had been oblivious to it. Damn near excruciating to be just friends.
Yet, it was even more painful to try to stay away. But, if he pushed himself further, then there was less chance of his feelings growing and him making a fool out of himself.
Besides, the chances of Texas becoming a permanent thing were still low. Assuming everything went well at Thanksgiving, Jason was still on a steady path to return to his old dull life around Christmas. A life without Leo, which was a life he’d soon have to get used to.
Although, it definitely hurt to see the confused look in Leo’s eyes when Jason shrugs off his touch.
“Are you coming to the cafe after school?” Leo asks, sliding up next to his locker. He leans on the one next to it, arms crossed and holding his advanced physics book to his chest. “Everyone else is.”
Jason spares him a glance, just long enough to acknowledge him, but brief enough that Jason didn’t have to really see him. He shifts around in his locker, in search of his missing football glove.
“I don’t think I can,” he says tersely, pressing his lips together.
Leo pouts, jutting out his glossy bottom lip. Jason tries to ignore the pull in his stomach when he sees it, but he doesn’t do very good. His cheeks fluster pink and he prays the shadow of his locker is dark enough to hide it.
“Aw, why not?”
“I’m just…” he pauses, fingers snagging the material of his missing glove. He turns to Leo, who’s shifting the book in his arms, the light in his face falling. “Not really feeling it.”
“Oh,” Leo mumbles, looking around, “Um, well, would you want to do something different? I’m down for whatever—“
”Listen, Leo,” Jason sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them again, Leo’s entire demeanor has sunken in, looking more and more like a kicked puppy by the second. He hugs his book a little tighter, less like he had to and more like a shield. “I just don’t want to go out and do anything, okay? With anyone.”
“Yeah, yeah—I get it,” Leo says softly, not meeting his eyes. His eyelashes are long, thick, and dark, casting sullen shadows over his face. Coils of his hair hang in front of his face, and something in Jason tells him to brush it out of the way. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then, he’s gone down the hallway, walking with a brisk pace to where Jason assumed the rest of their friends were.
In his hands, his once missing glove feels like a weight. Though, it was nothing compared to the metaphorical boulder beginning to take perch on his shoulders.
For the next couple of days, Jason continues to brush off Leo’s attempts to hang out. He gives dry and short responses to his texts, and even ignored a phone call at one point.
He knows he shouldn’t. Logically, he can realize that this was probably a bad idea. Ignoring Leo wasn’t going to make him get over his feelings—it was only going to make him feel hurt, and in the end, lose a really great friend.
Because, after all, that was what Leo was to him first.
Maybe, Jason didn’t have to necessarily get over him. But, if he could just push the feelings aside and focus on being just friends, he might be able to get rid of the feelings with time.
And, even if he didn’t, he’d probably be going home soon. I’d distance didn’t solve it, he isn’t sure what would.
Though, some do say that distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
And so far, he was proving that theory right.
Each morning, he woke up and wondered if Leo had texted him. He’d spent his school days focusing on Leo’s pout, or the melodic sound of his laughter, instead of the assignment at hand. He spent football practices imagining he could hear Leo in the stands and not the harsh whistle of Coach Hedge when he failed to catch yet another toss, too lost in thought to focus. Jason spent his nights tossing and turning in his bed, unable to fall asleep because his mind was running with thoughts of his best friend. Inevitably, when he did finally slip into unconsciousness, his dreams were full of crooked grins and nimble fingers.
Jason Grace was being haunted by Leo Valdez.
And Leo didn’t even know it.
He was utterly oblivious to the pain Jason experienced just being near him.
That's how he found himself in this position. Sitting in his calculus class, with Annabeth and Leo on either side. Their teacher is going on about something, a copious amount of numbers decorating the board that Jason was hastily scratching down into his notebook. On his left, Annabeth is dutifully writing down the notes and working on tonight's homework assignment whenever she gets the chance. On his right, Leo was carefully constructing a wooden popsicle stick tower.
Jason watches as he swipes the purple glue stick across the bottom of one popsicle, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in concentration, as he carefully presses the bottom of the popsicle stick to the meticulously constructed tower he'd begun. Jason was mesmerized by the way he moved, the way he looked, the way Jason could predict his next move based on the small changes in his face.
Such as, he could tell Leo was about the cut the next popsicle in staff using his orange kiddie scissors based on the way his eyes flickered between the scissors and the sticks, and the twist of his lips. It was fascinating to watch him think. To just admire as he exists.
Which is exactly why Jason couldn't function around him, and exactly why he needed to figure out what to do about it.
Because, clearly, distancing himself wasn't going to work.
"What's your plan for that?" Jason whispers, voice quiet under the sound of the marker on the whiteboard.
Leo looks up, almost startled to see that Jason was speaking to him. He falters, holding the snapped popsicle sticks in his hands. He settles them down on the desk, picking up the glue stick and twirling it between his fingers. "I"m not...sure. I kind of just let the layout come to me as I go and it usually ends up functional."
The popsicle stick tower was starting to look less like a tower and more like a castle. It had a wide base, with two respective towers sticking out from the top. Leo was in the process of using the cut sticks to connect them, as if there were a bridge between the towers. Clearly though, Leo doesn't think it'll be done anytime soon if his vision of a function still hasn't come to him.
"I think most engineers would be fascinated by the way your brain works," Jason says idly, resting his head on his fist.
Leo smirks, wagging his eyebrows. He tosses one arm around the back of Jason's chair, and he leans in close. He pays no attention to the way Jason's cheeks flush red, or the audible hitch in his breathing as Leo gets closer.
"Are you complimenting me, Jason?"
Jason could think of probably a dozen other well-meaning and genuine compliments he could give Leo, but he'd probably barely be able to stutter through any of them in a way that would make sense or be remotely flattering.
"As if," he scoffs, but instead of shoving Leo back like he normally would, he lets him stay there. His eyes flicker to Leo's lips, glistening and pink. His breath smells of mint, ghosting across Jason's own lips. He wondered what they'd feel like against his, smooth and soft. He'd seen Leo apply chapstick, something tangerine tasting based on the tube. He wonders if he'd taste it on his own tongue when they kissed. Wondered if it'd make his own lips soft.
"You're right," Leo sighs, bringing one hand up and pressing it the side of his head in a fake faint. The back of his head comes into contact with Jason's shoulder, making his entire body tense up. He peeks his eyes up at Jason, shining and mischievous, a sly grin marking his face. "The great Jason Grace would never compliment poor little me."
"Just go back to making your castle," Jason laughs, one hand coming to the small of Leo's back. Leo's grin slips into a resigned dramatic sigh, as he pushes himself off Jason with one firm hand planted on his sigh. Then, he returns to his castle like it was nothing. Like Jason's heart wasn't ready to beat out of his chest from the mere contact against his shoulder and thigh. From the way his fingers had just barely brushed against him, the pressure of them through his jeans.
After that, Jason's somehow able to focus on the lesson a little better.
A couple of classes later, following the final bell, Leo runs up to Jason in the parking lot while he's putting his bag in the back seat. He's panting, like he'd run all the way over here, his backpack slipping from his shoulder. In his arms, his evolved popsicle tower teeters awkwardly, haphazardly glued to a tinfoil and wire plate.
"My mama invited you over for dinner," he says eventually, leaning against Jason's car, and thrusting out the popsicle tower. Jason takes it hesitantly, unsure what he was supposed to be doing with it. "Will you come? We can do the calc homework together."
Jason falters. He didn't want to distance himself from Leo anymore, that was true, but he wasn't so sure he could spend so much time alone with him without potentially doing something stupid.
But the longer Jason takes to answer, the more the excited look on Leo's face slowly drops. It was almost worse than the look he'd given him a couple days prior, when Jason had harshly let him down over going downtown with everyone else. Back then, Jason could've gotten away with just not wanting to hangout in a group setting. Now? It would just be personal against Leo.
So, he offers, "Can you help me with my biology work?"
Leo's frown splits into a grin, and he slips his bag off and tosses it into Jason's backseat. Beside it, Jason carefully sets down the popsicle tower.
"I can certainly try!"
well, it's easier if you don't remember the way we always said forever
forever don't mean nothin' anymore
oh, what the hell was all that lovin' you for?
Esperanza Valdez is undoubtedly a beautiful woman.
She's all curves, with long legs and thick muscles arms. Her skin is a deep tan, darker than Leo's, with a few thin white scars littered on her arms from years of working with machinery. Her hair is thick, straight, and black, plaited down her back to keep it out of her face. When they arrive, they walk in through the shop, and Jason doesn't spot her at first.
Then, she slides out from underneath a volvo.
She apologizes for her messy appearance, covered in oil and grease, wiping her hands down on a rag so she can shake Jason's hands. She expresses how glad she is that Jason was able to stay for dinner and says that she's closing up soon and that they can head upstairs to wait on dinner. Leo presses a brief kiss to his mother's cheek, something sweet and nurturing that makes Jason's gut churn, before showing him upstairs.
"Your mom is really sweet," Jason comments, following Leo up the rickety metal stairs. Leo looks over his shoulder, smiling something small at Jason before fumbling with the door.
"Yeah," he hums, "She is. I love her a lot."
"I can tell," Jason says, despite the slight jealousy he feels. He never thought Leo would make him feel jealous--especially over something such as parenthood--but here he was. Esperanza Valdez, even from the brief meeting he'd had with her, seemed to be the epitome of what a mother should be. Loving, generous, and capable. Everything Jason's own two mothers should've been.
They enter the house soon after that, and thoughts of Esperanza and his own mothers were washed away. The house was warm, and he didn't mean that in terms of temperature, but in terms of vibes. There was warm lamp lighting throughout the two conjoined rooms. The kitchen was full, with large brown cabinets, and snacks laid out. Clearly, Esperanza had prepared most of the food in advance, with pots and plates laid out.
The living room was just as lived in, with a brown cushioned couch and a creme-colored fluffy rug. The TV was an older model, with a variety of DVDs laid out on the shelves underneath it. There were knick-knacks everywhere, on shelves and on the coffee table. On the walls were old portraits of Leo and his mother, the most prominent being a large one of a toddler Leo in Esperanza's lap. A little smaller, a couple inches away, was a portrait of Esperanza next to a plumper woman, surrounded by Leo and a couple of other kids Jason didn't recognize.
"Sorry for the mess," Leo sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck, "She asked me to invite you after lunch."
"It's okay, I don't mind," Jason says, almost wistfully, as he observes the surroundings. Even now as he lived with Thalia, the apartment was never this lived in. The only part of it that felt like it may belong to him was his own bedroom in the attic.
Leo guides him further down the hallway, past the cracked open door to the bathroom, and his mother's closed door. He leads him to the door at the end of the hall and pushes it open. Inside is exactly what Jason expected. The walls are covered in movie and band posters, and all the furniture is a dark oak. His bed is messy, with a couple throw blankets strewn across it. He has a couple knick-knacks and bits and bobs littered around the room, with an overflowing toolbox tucked at the end of the bed.
There's a desk nestled in the corner, with a floor lamp next to it that Leo clicks on instead of using the ceiling light. The room has a warm darkness to it. Then Jason settles down in the leather office chair at the desk meanwhile Leo drops his bag on the floor, then places his popsicle stick castle on his bedside table.
"We can start on the calculus homework if you want," Leo offers, settling by Jason's feet as he searches through his bag. He pulls out his beaten-up folder and a chipped mechanical pencil. Then, he leans against Jason's legs as if it was the most casual thing in the world. Jason swallows harshly, twisting his torso so he could gather his own homework out of his bag without disturbing Leo's position.
They spend the next hour working on that, or well, he spends the next hour on it and Leo finishes it in twenty-five minutes. Then, he spends the remaining thirty-five minutes borderline spoon-feeding the answers to Jason to try to make the time go quicker. Though, that doesn't mean he moves from his position. Instead, he cranes his head back to rest it on Jason's knees, looking up at him with wide eyes and a blinding smile as he murmurs the answers Jason pretends not to hear.
Then, they take the next fifteen minutes both staring at his biology homework in confusion before eventually giving up and texting Will in search of the answers. It wasn't a habit Jason liked to depend on, but no matter how hard he squinted, the words were just not making sense to him.
"I don't understand why you're in that class," Leo remarks, twirling his pencil between his fingers in quick fluid movements. "It's for pre-med kids. Like Will."
Jason raises an eyebrow, perching an elbow on the desk and placing his head in his hand as he looks down at Leo. "It's not like I chose to be. They gave me my schedule, and I decided not to protest anything."
Leo shakes his head with a low whistle. "Only crazy people take biology more than once."
"You're the one taking AP physics."
With a twist of his hand, Jason curls his fingers in the back of Leo's hair, shaking his head and making the smaller boy laugh. He gently pulls it back, so Leo's looking up at him. His neck is a smooth long expanse, with a couple of littered birthmarks here and there. He sees the small white scar curling from his jaw onto his neck, tucked in the little space around his ear.
Leo's lips are round, a small gap between them where Jason can see his two front teeth. From this angle, Jason can see that his nose is set a little crooked. It added an almost rugged look to him though, one that Jason appreciated and found attractive. But the thing Jason liked most about him, was his eyes. They shone like fireflies, or oil lanterns. A warm, rich, brown. Deep and intense, always thinking, plotting. Jason loved everything about them, and the way they looked at him.
And, good god, did Jason want to kiss him.
He wanted to feel those lips on his, the way they moved and how his tongue swiped against his lip. He wanted to feel Leo's cheeks, flush and narrow in his hands, as he cradled them. He wanted to run his hands through those tawny curls--maybe even give a light tug--and feel how they felt bunched up in his hands. He wanted to hold Leo's hand in his, and not the way he has before. He wanted to hold his hand and string their fingers together and show off that they were together. That they liked one another.
Jason wondered how Leo would react if he did, he wondered if he'd like it.
He could picture a whole future with Leo. He could imagine spending the rest of their senior year together--here or in California--he could imagine walking through the hallways hand-in-hand, running up to him post football games and crawling up the chain link fence to kiss him, spending cold nights wrapped around each other, pressing his frozen nose into Leo's warm neck.
After that? Jason wasn't so sure. He had no clue what his future would look like, but undoubtedly, it would probably be chosen for him. He might end up as an athlete like his stepmother would want, or maybe an entrepreneur like his father. Either way, he'd be busy and booked, not having time for much else. He'll probably end up living a cold life, kept away from the people he loved, but he just hoped and prayed that maybe he might still be able to keep Leo.
He hoped that he'd keep those beautiful eyes in his life somehow.
Part of him tells him that Leo might want that too.
"Jase," Leo murmurs sweetly, his voice a mere rasp. His fingers are still curled into Leo's hair, soft shiny ringlets brushing against his knuckles. Jason's throat feels dry with need upon hearing Leo utter his name--his nickname, that he hadn't even known he'd had--like that. His thumb brushes against Leo's forehead, and his lips part slowly. Leo's eyes flicker between his lips and his eyes like he isn't sure which he should focus on.
Their faces are mere inches apart at this point with Jason having slowly inched forward without realizing. The position is awkward on his back--but Jason's at the point that he isn't sure if he could pull back. If he did, it'd just be odd and unexplainable. This was it, this was the moment he had to do it.
But he couldn't give Leo what he deserved. He knows that.
He isn't capable of being a good boyfriend, hell, he isn't even sure what he wants to do with his life. If his life even belongs to him. The future was so close, only months away, and high school relationships never lasted. He'd only hurt Leo more--only make this whole thing end in flames. If he didn't pull away now he'd only get both of them hurt.
Yet, the temptation was so terribly strong.
He inched a little closer, so close, he could almost taste it. It made his heart pound rapidly in his chest and ache at the same time. Jason wanted him--and he wanted him bad.
"Boys, dinners ready!"
The door is pushed open, and the two of them rip apart at a speed faster than lightning. Esperanza appears around it; a forest green apron tied to her chest and waist. She's grinning at them; a few loose strands having come undone from her plait. She's grinning, clearly unaware of anything that had just occurred in the room. Jason's heart is so loud, he wonders if the two of them could hear it.
"W-We're coming, Mama," Leo stutters, having thrown himself off the ground into a standing position. At his sides, his hands are curling and unfurling, fingers squeezing tight against his palms and his knuckles turning white. Jason feels almost glued to the chair, but Esperanza giggles, and disappears down the hallway again. With the door now open, they can hear the quiet Spanish music playing from the living room.
Though, it does very little to fill the now suffocating silence between the two boys.
"We should probably go," Jason eventually utters, staring holes into Leo's carpet. Leo nods, a little dumbly, but his feet don't move. Instead, his head swivels and turns to face Jason. The look on his face is heavily conflicted, almost pained, but eventually he reaches out a hand to help Jason up. When he takes the hand, it doesn't hold it's usual warmth.
Instead, it feels cold.
It felt like those few seconds, locked in a stalemate with each other, had changed everything.
w hat if i’m not a good person
you always say that i am
you don't really know me at all now
i think that i'm not who you think i am
Notes:
the queers r advancing…this is a win for the lgbtq community
also I ADORE U ESPERANZA!! she gets her peak moment around chapter 14 i believe if im remembering my plans correctly, so just you wait, she’s coming back.
me and the other 12 esperanza fans started cheering!!!
Chapter 12: there's too much on my mind
Notes:
chapter title from "the way things go" by beabadoobee! additional lyrics from "alley rose" & “family line” by conan gray
no bad tws, but there is a lot of verbal fighting. there is ALMOST physical violence but it never happens.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When Jason gets off the plane, everything feels estranged. The sun shines through San Francisco International Airport, and for a moment, Jason feels like he’s home.
Only for a moment though.
Regardless though, he’s elated to be back, even if it was only temporary. He got to see his favorite beaches again, and he finally got to talk to Reyna and Piper face-to-face.
The grin on his face felt infectious.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t though, because beside him Thalia’s lips were set in a deep frown.
“Home sweet home,” she mutters darkly, rubbing at a sore spot in her neck that she’d complained about all flight. “God, this place is shit.”
Jason rolls his eyes, nudging her with his shoulder. “C’mon,” he urges, “Hera said a car would we waiting out front for when we land.”
They collect their bags from baggage claim without issue, making their way through the crowded airport and weaving between bodies. They emerge into the chilled garage, and Thalia obnoxiously taps on her phone till a sleek black car rolls up and a driver Jason doesn’t recognize nods at them.
Apparently, his name was Jules-Albert. A favor from Hera’s brother. Jason had briefly heard of him in the past, mostly in passing comments before his stepmother left for one of her various trips and left Jason alone with the staff in a cold mansion. Though, he’d never actually met the guy.
He was quiet, speaking maybe one or two words total at a time, but polite enough. His hair was white and wispy, and his skin saggy but somehow also clinging to the bone. He looked halfway to death, but he greeted the two of them with a thin smile.
“Do you think you could drop me off at Piper’s house?” he asks, buckling himself in. Then, he glances over to Thalia, who was rolling down the window.
“Yes,” Jules-Albert mumbles quietly. His eyes rise up to the center mirror, and lands on Thalia. “You?”
“Um, I think I’ll stay downtown for a bit. Familiarize myself again.”
Jules-Albert gives a short nod, and pulls out of the airport parking garage. The moment they emerge out into the daylight, Jason feels like he’s in awe. Which, was a bit ridiculous, considering he’s lived here his whole life.
But after four months away, everything felt brand new. He could find a newfound appreciation for everything—even the things he once found immensely annoying to see.
As they drove through, he took note of his favorite cafe’s and diners. The ones him and Reyna used to go to as kids when they wanted to escape for a little bit. He laughed when he saw the run-down nail and hair salon that Piper had once dragged him to when they were in middle school because she was too scared to go alone.
There were so many memories on these streets, ones Jason would never be able to just forget. There were so many people he couldn’t just leave behind, yet, he supposed there were people in Texas he couldn’t leave either.
But, he’d grown up here. In California, Jason had everything.
Jules-Albert drives them away from the bustling city, and into the richer side of the hills. Piper’s father was rarely ever home, always off to one project or another, leaving her with her father’s assistant Drew.
Jason feels his nerves bubble around in his stomach. He hadn’t seen Piper or Reyna since the day he left. They’d arranged it, so they’d both be here when he got home, but now as they’re driving past the houses it’s only making him feel more ill.
What if, in the past couple of months, they’d decided that they’re better off without him. That he was just the guy that hung out sometimes, that they preferred the company of each other over the company of the three of them.
What if they’d abandoned him?
He doesn’t get long to dwell on it though; because then Jules-Albert is pulling up to the house, driving around the small center island, and stopping in front of the grand stairs.
“Well come and pick you up in a couple of hours,” Thalia says, patting his shoulder. “Call me if you need anything. Most importantly, have fun.”
“You’re acting like I’m five,” Jason mutters, unbuckling himself from the seat. “I’ll be fine. See you later.”
Thalia rolls her eyes, grumbling something about ungrateful teenage boys, but smiles and waves him off. Jason thanks Jules-Albert, who gives him a curt nod, and then drives off. He watches as they round the island again, and then the shiny car disappears down into the hills.
When Jason turns around, Piper and Reyna have already made an appearance.
It’s still fairly early, only around eleven in the morning on a weekend, which means sleeping in. Piper’s wearing a hello kitty tank top with matching pajama shorts, and her hair is tangled in her usual twin braids. Regardless, she’s staring at him with wide eyes, as a wobbly smile slips its way onto her face.
Reyna is wearing a grey hoodie, with black biker shorts, and white fluffy slippers. Her usual morning attire. Her long hair is down, brushing her mid back, as she raises her hand in a content wave.
They stand like that for a few moments, still and unmoving, drinking in the sight of each other once more.
Then, Jason’s sprinting up the stairs and they’re rushing down to meet him halfway.
Piper flings herself at him first, clearing a handful of steps in blind trust that he’d be able to catch her and maintain his balance. He does, just barely, but when her torso collides with his, Reyna’s steady arm is bracing behind his back and keeping him from tipping over and down the stairs.
As soon as he’s stable, he’s taking his right arm from Piper’s back and pulling Reyna into the bone-crushing hug. She laughs against his neck, curls of her hair brushing his jaw. Her left arm comes to his back, as her right arm wraps around Piper.
“I missed you,” she whispers quietly, pushing her nose against his skin. “It’s different here without you.”
“I missed you too, Reyna,” he supplies carefully, before nuzzling his cheek into Piper’s head. “You too, Pipes.”
“I’d better hope so,” she grumbles, as if she hadn’t attached herself to him. “It’s getting cold—let’s go to my room.”
Jason follows them up the remainder of the stairs, and into Piper’s grandiose house. Jason knew his own parents were very wealthy, but Piper’s father was on a completely different level, having built himself from almost nothing to everything. Her mother, a model in Greece, also occasionally sent hefty paychecks to Piper’s father as her child support. Not that she’d ever cared to meet her child.
Tristan Mclean was unsurprisingly not home. Instead, his new assistant, Drew Tanaka was. After his last one was fired for misconduct towards Piper, Tristan found it best that he hired a new one closer to Piper’s age. In his eyes, he was giving her a friend and not another babysitter.
There would’ve been more reason to it if Drew wasn’t just downright nasty half the time.
She regards him with cool eyes, looking over her shoulder from her reclined position on the couch. A magazine sits open in her lap, and the TV plays some old sitcom reruns. She made it abundantly clear she had no interest in doing her job when she didn’t absolutely have to.
“Oh,” she remarks, a little nasally, “You’re here.”
“So are you,” Jason replies, but he doesn’t really have the chance to say more than that because Reyna’s slipping her hand into his and guiding him up the stairs to Piper’s room.
Technically it was a house rule that Piper wasn’t allowed to have boys in her room, but he thinks Tristan Mclean stopped regarding Jason as just any other boy years ago. Besides, it wasn’t like she followed the rule before then.
It also probably helped that Piper came out as lesbian the same year her and Jason became best friends.
If anything, Jason thinks her father was better off worrying about Reyna, with how the two were near inseparable nowadays.
Reyna settles herself down into the plush chair in the corner of the room, right next to Piper’s floor to ceiling windows. The natural light hits her hair, giving it an almost purple tint, as Piper flings herself onto her bed. Jason, takes his usual position on the ground, his back pressed against the bottom of Piper’s bed.
Piper shifts, army crawling closer so she’s facing him. “Okay, you have to tell us everything,” she demands, resting her chin in her hands.
“I already do?” he points out weakly, smiling up at the ceiling.
“You flake out on our calls half the time,” Reyna cuts in, squinting at him. She points one long finger in his direction. “Clearly you’re hiding something.”
Jason’s stomach churns, his face burning pink. Without his permission, his brain starts to resurface images and memories of Leo. The way it normally did when Jason needed something to distract himself with. He tugs his knees close, setting his chin on top of them, partially hiding his burning face from their prying eyes.
“Oh there’s totally something,” Piper laughs, ruffling his hair. Then, her voice drops low and conspiratorially, and she leans in close to mumble, “Or someone.”
Reyna straightens in her seat, interest piquing her features. “Do you think so?” she asks, before her cool eyes regard Jason. “Have you developed feelings for somebody?”
”I—I, well, no—“
”Don’t lie,” Piper sing-songs in his ear, tapping her manicured nails along his shoulders. “We can tell.”
Jason groans, pressing his face into his hands, feeling the heat radiating off him. “You guys suck and I hate you both,” he mutters, voice muffled by his palms.
“So there is someone you’ve developed feelings for,” Reyna says matter-of-factly, unfolding herself from the chair and coming to sit next to Piper. She presses a socked foot against Jason’s leg. “Relax, it’s just us.”
Which, was half the issue. Jason knows they’d never judge him for having feelings for a boy—after all, they’d been the first ones he’d told when he’d discovered that he didn’t only like women. It was just hard to talk about his feelings. Maybe it was years of having to crush them down and repress them around his parents, but it almost made him feel sick to try to discuss them.
And another, more territorial, part of him wanted to keep Leo Valdez all to himself. Wanted to have him tucked in the folds and crevices of his beating heart for him to have and to hold.
Reyna rests a hand on Piper’s back, a gesture so casual and affectionate, and Piper leans into her side. They were way better at being emotionally connected and tuned than he was. They were able to discuss these things and have mature and sensible conversations about them.
Jason, no matter how long he’d been friends with either of them, still struggled with that.
It would also be the first time that he’d acknowledged his feelings for Leo out loud—that he gave that more quiet and intimate and reserved part of himself out towards others. It didn’t matter who he gave it to, it still felt like he was giving a piece of him up for grabs.
Jason entrusted Piper and Reyna with everything. Every single piece. They’d been there after every house party, every football game, every test. Every time his father had gotten out of hand and said or done something vile.
But this just felt different.
Maybe it was completely unrelated to them, and entirely to do with the fragility Jason felt. This was saying out loud that he liked Leo. It was taking note of and accepting the feelings that he was still trying to come to terms with, still trying to get used to and let become comfortable, let become another part of him.
Jason was still adjusting.
It wasn’t like he had anything against the fact he liked boys. But, nothing about it really appealed to him either.
In fact, it put him in more trouble than it was worth.
Jason found women pretty. He knew, if he found the right one, he’d be just as capable of liking them as he did a boy. But, since moving in with his father, his future had always been decided for him.
In this future, Jason always married a woman.
A woman of equal status, with a household name, and good manners. Someone pretty and quaint that he could carry around on his arm. Someone his father and step-mother had carefully picked from a list.
Someone Jason would never choose.
His love life was one thing he wanted to keep to himself and have control over. No matter how small that control may seem.
If he were to come out—or somehow, let it slip that he didn’t like just girls—any control he may have would be over.
Right now, he might have a say in what girl he’ll end up inevitably being with. Coming out would be signing his life away.
Even more the reason he wants to push these feelings for Leo down into his soul, preserve them for him only, prevent him from getting hurt.
Reasonably, he knows Piper and Reyna would never be that way. They were always the most supportive people in his life and had actually been the ones to advise him to breakup with the only girl he’d ever dated. In the end, she broke up with him.
Back then, Jason hadn’t cared. He’d never actually liked the girl.
But he likes Leo. He really likes Leo.
He already has a strong foundation of friendship with him, Jason doesn’t want to take that away.
He doesn’t want to strip himself of late night car rides, or trips to the grocery store after school, even the way Leo would pester him during classes when he should’ve been paying attention.
He adored every single bit of it, every ounce of attention Leo gave him. It was almost like a drug. No matter how much he’d pretend to complain or be annoyed, the moment Leo actually listened to him he wanted it back.
Things had been weird since the almost-kiss incident back in Leo’s bedroom. Leo hadn’t distanced himself, but every now and then Jason would catch these weird forlorn looks he’d send him when he thought he wasn’t looking. His physical affection felt more hesitant, as though he wasn’t sure if he should reach out and grab at him like he used to.
Jason was invited to dinner more regularly after that night though meaning he left a solid impression on Esperanza. That, or Leo pestered her to keep him around. He had been invited over for dinner a couple more times before he left for California, but most of them he ended up missing due to football practice. Even though their senior night and homecoming games had passed, the championships were coming up, which meant Coach Hedge was stressed to the max.
His time with Leo was a relief from constant worrying about football, and how he was going to juggle his practice schedule with his school work. Whenever he had free time, he found himself gravitating towards the other boy.
Leo seemed to understand this. He was a good person to just exist with. With his other friends in Texas, Jason felt the need to entertain them and make sure they had something to do. Leo wasn’t like that. They could sit on the couch and watch television, or do their homework together, or sometimes just sit in the car and talk with some soft music playing.
He was the calm that came and remedied the storm of Jason’s life.
“I do have feelings for somebody,” he rasps, resting his head against the mattress. The girls stay quiet, but he can feel their anticipation and excitement in the air. They’d had these conversations before, usually about Piper, rarely about Reyna. Never Jason. “But it just won’t work.”
“Why not?” Reyna asks softly.
“Because my home is here,” Jason says, but his voice wavers. It seemed certain when he thought it, but now that he voiced that, nothing is certain. His house, with his parents, was here. But his home was in Thalia’s apartment, curled up in his bed, with Leo right beside him.
But here he had Piper and Reyna. Here he had a future.
The biggest question was if that was equal to life with his sister. With Leo.
And honestly, Jason almost preferred not knowing which one he wanted more. It felt safer, because there was no definite pick.
At least, not to him. There certainly was for his parents.
“That can change,” Reyna reminds him, pressing her foot to his thigh. “It doesn’t have to be that way. If…if you’re happier in Texas then you should stay there.”
“But I don’t know if I am,” he whispers, before moving to turn and face them. Piper has a frown on her face, her brows furrowed. Her gaze goes beyond him, like she’s giving thought to something long and hard. Beside her, Reyna’s hand gently rubs her back, an action Jason wasn’t sure if she realized she was doing. Reyna’s looking at him, something sad but hopeful in her face. “I’d miss you guys—I…my parents. Everything I know is here. I can’t—I can’t just leave that.”
“You don’t have to make a decision,” Piper blurts, still looking far off. Her fingers dig into the comforter, and her tongue flicks out over her lips. Slowly, her gaze moves over to Jason. “Live in both. Do what your body tells you to do.”
“That’s the issue!” Jason stresses, rubbing at his face. “My mind tells me to stay here, in California, and live the life my parents want because then at least I’ll be secured. And, I’ll have you guys.”
“But your heart?” Piper mumbles, cocking her head.
His heart tells him to be with Leo.
But that's entirely too strong of an emotion for Jason to be comfortable with. Or to acknowledge.
"I don't know."
"I think you do," Reyna muses. Her free hand comes to Jason's head, resting in his hair, and giving it a little shake. "Who's making you stay?"
Jason buries his head into the edge of the mattress, half determined to suffocate himself in the fabric of Piper's pink sheets. His eyes feel wet, and his throat scratchy. He thinks of Leo. Thinks of the last time he cried, practically in the other boy's arms, over his father.
"He's...I don't even have words. He's just...everything," Jason eventually utters, his voice a quiet rasp.
It was the truth. Leo was everything--his everything.
"What his name?"
Jason peeks over his arm, looking at their identical grins, and finds himself laughing despite it all. Something sweet bubbles up in his chest. It wasn't like the summer-warm fondness he got around Leo, but it was similar, and cozy, nonetheless. "Leo," he responds, his voice gaining a strangle lilt, "Leo Valdez."
and i don't even care
if it makes me sound insane
i ran my fingers through your hair
and i thanked god to touch the flame
'cause i swore necks were made for bruisin'
i swore lips were made for lies
and i thought if you'd ever leave me
that i'd be the reason why
When Jason returns home from hanging out with Piper and Reyna, everything is normal.
Which is probably the weirdest thing.
Thalia's in her old room, observing the repainted walls and grey-scale furniture that had replaced her old black scratched furniture years ago. Their parents had done their best to erase any memory of her when she left. They were absolutely determined to make it seem as though Jason was an only child to anyone who didn't bother to ask. Now she sat on the bed, her dark clothing flung haphazardly around the room, the only thing she could do to mark it as her own.
Hera had greeted him kindly, but quickly. She'd pressed a faux doting kiss to his cheeks, murmuring sweet words about how she missed him, before scurrying out the front door to attend some counseling appointment or another. An emergency, supposedly. His father, meanwhile, had given him a gruff nod and straight up ignored Thalia. Though, he didn't look as pissed off as he normally did to see his children, which Jason would take as a win.
It was odd. There was no screaming, no fighting, no tears. Entirely peaceful for the most part. The kitchen staff were happy to see them too, placing lavish deserts in front of them, eager to have somebody around that would actually appreciate their work efforts.
"I don't like this," Thalia says into the quiet of the room, as Jason softly closes the door with a click. "It all feels wrong. They're up to something...I know it."
Jason sighs, rubbing at his temple. He steps over a pair of wrinkled leather jeans that had made its way to the carpeted floor and lays down on her bed. He starfishes out, his fingers brushing her curled up knees, as he stares up at the ceiling. The first thing he notices is that it's not popcorned like the ceilings in Thalia's apartment. That's one of the first, minor but distinct, changes that Jason had forgotten about.
"Can we just let it be normal?" he asks, raising one hand to the air and gesturing uselessly. It flops back down onto the bed with a dampened thud, and Thalia clicks her tongue. She's restless and clearly uncomfortable just from the idea of staying in this house any longer than she already had. "I don't think we have to necessarily do anything. Just let them be."
Thalia's face morphs into a scowl, and she kicks at him lightly. "Do you think they're just gonna stay normal? No way in hell. You never have to do anything they're just insane."
"Tell me something I don't know," Jason mutters, squeezing his eyes shut. He focuses on the plush feeling of the bed beneath him, and not the heavy sighs Thalia was letting out. He couldn't say she was wrong--because she wasn't. There was no doubt in his mind that as soon as their parents readjusted to the presence of children in their lives and realized that as adults, they have the 'right' to punish them, things would go to shit. But could anybody blame him for wanting to bask in the normalcy for a bit? It felt just like any other vacation in a way, and he'd take it as long as he possibly could before their parents decide to switch it up on them.
Besides, if they could maintain this normalcy streak just long enough to get through Thanksgiving, Jason might be able to get through this vacation somewhat satisfied.
Somewhat.
"Just--don't provoke them, okay? The less fighting the better," he points out, rolling onto his side to look at her. She crosses her arms, leaning against the fabric headboard, a deep frown settling on her face. She grumbles, refusing to meet his eyes, staring at the mess she'd begun to make of the room.
"You should be telling them that," she huffs, tapping her chipped black polished nails along her arm. "They're the ones who start things."
"Thalia," he warns quietly, to which she rolls her eyes. She pushes herself up from the bed, running a hand through her choppy blue-black hair, and flinging open the closet door. She begins to toss her thrown clothes into it, starting a big pile at the bottom of the closet.
Eventually, Thalia says, "I won't provoke them," as she picks up a tattered shirt with safety pins stabbed through it. She gives him a hard look, the fabric clutched between her fingers, "But if something starts I'm not backing down either."
"I knew you wouldn't," he mutters under his breath, face planting into the fabric.
Of course, Jason shouldn't have expected the peace to last.
Thanksgiving comes way too quickly for his liking. After days of half of the house not being home, or walking on eggshells around each other, it all came to an inevitable finish.
It really was a recipe for disaster. Jason can’t think of a single Thanksgiving dinner that went well for his family.
Surprisingly enough though, the dinner goes fine. It’s quiet, maybe a bit tense, and there’s a couple of moments where Thalia might make a comment that their father doesn’t take lightly. Thankfully, Hera’s there to mediate for them, a perk of the whole ‘family and marriage counselor’ job she has going for her.
And Jason? Jason mostly just sits there and watches. He doesn’t speak unless spoken to, and his answers are short one or two word responses.
He thinks he’s throwing his parents off. He used to be a lot louder, a lot more volatile, when they’d ask him about school and such. Or at least, he was before he left. He wonders if they think back to how he used to be when they see him like this, if they think he’s improved or regressed with Thalia.
He isn’t quite sure, because if anything, they seem deeply unsettled by him.
When they make it through the entirety of Thanksgiving dinner without any major issues, Jason half thinks he must be dreaming. None of this feels real. It’s like he’s been transported to an alternate reality or something.
The chef’s bring out desert, corn muffins paired with a ginormous chocolate lava cake. Jason’s mouth waters at the sight of it. Prior to living with Thalia, he only really got deserts like this around holidays. Hera always had something to say about keeping up his diet.
Even now, it’s not like he or Thalia had access to the resources to have people make things like this for them.
When he takes some of the cake, he can feel his stepmothers eyes on him. Yet, her blood-red lips stay in a carefully pressed line, as she leaves her own plate empty.
Thalia, on the other hand, has no problem digging into whatever food she pleases. And their father? He’s kind of just there, quiet and stormy, looking as though he’d rather be anywhere but here.
If things hadn’t been good, Jason probably would’ve felt the same way.
Their chocolate smudged and crumb covered desert plates get whisked away by staff and his father excuses himself to retreat to his study. He was never one to participate in small talk. More surprising however, Hera doesn’t stay with them for long.
Normally, Jason can’t get her to stop talking and pestering him. She asks a couple questions about his friends, and what they’re like, but she looks flighty. Her eyes dart from Jason to Thalia, like she was mentally piecing something together.
“You’ve been rather quiet, Jason. Is something wrong?” she asks, tapping her fingers along her wine glass. She takes a slow and short sip from her cup, eyes pinning him to the chair.
Jason’s gaze lifts from the table cloth, meeting her eyes. They’re a chesnut brown. Typically, brown eyes should feel warm and inviting. Hers never did. They were always cold and calculating.
Every question she asked felt more like a demand.
Jason places his palms down onto the table. He shakes his head softly, feeling Thalia’s own piercing eyes fall onto him. “No, everything’s fine. I think I’m just tired.”
“From what?” she fires back, her brows furrowing together. “Usually you never hold your tongue at Thanksgiving dinner.”
For a moment, Jason isn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t like her to outright be mean to him, that was usually his father’s job. It made him wish he knew what was going on in their brains. Nothing about them was predictable.
Thalia answers before he could, making good on her previous promise.
“Football championships are next month. They’ve been practicing a lot. Not that you’d know, of course, since you sent him away.”
Hera’s eyes flash with a rage that she hardly ever lets show. She stands abruptly from the table, one hand clutching onto her wine glass, the other raised in preparation to do… something. Thalia stands too, shoulders hunched upwards, defense written all over her features.
“Guys,” Jason mutters weakly, feeling the need to stand up and do something. The need to take charge of the situation. Neither of them look at him, and Hera’s already rounding the corner and latching onto Thalia’s wrist.
“Come with me. We’re going to speak with your Father,” she hisses, before letting go like merely touching Thalia was disgusting. She heads off, only pausing when Jason rises from his seat to follow. “Stay here,” she orders, to which Jason helplessly stands.
Then she’s gone, leaving a snarling Thalia in her track.
“What a bitch,” she scoffs, curling her hands into fists. Her gaze softens when it lands on Jason, and she offers him a weak half smile. “I’ll be back. Promise I won’t fight too much.”
She says it as a joke, but Jason doesn’t find it very funny.
She’s gone for only seven minutes, but Jason’s concern is already rising. He stands from his seat, rubbing at his face. His father’s personal assistant, a young man named Ganymede, stopped him as he went to leave the living room.
“I wouldn’t go there if I were you,” he says softly, one hand pushed out to stop him. His gaze is somber, years of stress from running around doing errands for his father etched into his face. “It’s…not very nice. I wouldn’t want your holiday to be ruined.”
Ganymede was always a nice, charming man. It confused him on how he happily served Jason’s father. Well, not entirely happy, but he didn’t hate his job. He’d been working as his father’s PA since Jason was twelve, after the other one had a nervous breakdown and quit. Which meant he’s seen the worst of Jason. But, he’d always been great, and helped him sneak in or intercepted calls from the school saying he missed class when he could.
“Look,” Jason sighs, brushing away his hand, “I appreciate it but it’s my family. I’m used to them.”
Which raised the question as to why Ganymede wasn’t with his own family at the moment. Jason decided it was better not to question it though.
Ganymede gives a terse nod, and steps to the side. Jason gives him one last weak smile before heading down the hall.
He hears it before he sees it.
Thalia’s voice filters down through the hallway as Jason creeps down the corridor. It’s distressed, but it doesn’t sound like she’s in any harm.
“You can’t just decide that! You’re the one who sent him away in the first place, remember?” her voice is edging on a shout, her barely contained rage evident. There’s a moment of silence, before his father’s voice comes next.
”I am his father!” he screams, clearly uncaring of anyone else overhearing, “It is my decision of where he stays!”
“Do you not see how he acted here? He was completely out of control—you can’t say he does better here when he doesn’t!” Thalia grumbles, and he can almost picture her flailing her arms to emphasize her point.
He presses his back to the wall, palms flat against it, as he tries to push himself closer to the doorway without risk of being seen.
“And we’re supposed to believe he does well with you?” he hears Hera scoff, “What a saint you are, Thalia. We all know how you used to act.”
Jason feels a sense of disgust build in his gut. It was no surprise that they were arguing over him. After Thalia left and everyone had come to terms with it, most of the conversations between his parents and his sister were about him or money.
And now, it was more than obvious that they were trying to decide whether he was due to go back with Thalia, or stay here with his parents.
Without consulting him.
“Yeah? And why do you think I was like that—why he was like that? It’s because of you two!”
There’s a thick and heavy silence in the air, and he can hear the labored breathing of his father. There’s a large, slow step, and Jason can almost picture what he’s about to do.
It’s the only reason he bursts into the room.
He stands, a little breathless, in the doorway. His father stands in the middle, arm raised and ring glinting, halfway through what was almost a heavy swing. Thalia stands in front of him, blue eyes blown wide, one arm raised to block her face. Slowly, it lowers, as she turns to look at Jason.
Hera, meanwhile, stands by the desk with a scowl burned onto her face. When she spots Jason, it immediately melts. She flutters over to him, as his father and Thalia break away from their previous stance. As if it wasn’t obvious what they’d done. What was about to happen.
Quietly, Jason murmurs, “What the fuck?”
His rage is very thinly veiled. His eyes flit between the three of them, unsure of who to look at, who to blame.
Finally, they fall onto his parents. His face twists into a scowl, and he takes a couple more steps into the room.
He was so tired of this twisted act they put on. Pretending they were looking out for him when they were really just tugging on some incurable puppet strings. They lived vicariously through him—they lived to control him.
They wanted to make him everything they were and everything they weren’t.
And Jason was just so terribly sick of it.
Sick letting himself just get pulled into whatever direction other people wanted.
He lived his life being his parents golden child, being their boy savior. When Thalia ran away, he was their only hope. Jason had been so full of dreams of finally having a happy family, that he thought his servitude and letting them chose his life was due repayment.
To him, if he acted his part, they’d finally act the part of good parents. Except, they only liked to do that when other people were watching.
And Jason got tired of going home and being ignored unless they wanted something from him.
They’d signed him up for football, and while Jason had eventually learned to love the sport, deep down he knew he never had a choice to like it or not. Would he have ever done it if he hadn’t been forced into it?
All his AP classes were at the recommendation of teachers and his parents. He didn’t know how to say no—how to not let his workload overbear him. So, Jason let himself drown in homework, just another thing placed upon him. He’d mistakenly thought that if he won a game, or got all A’s on his school work, maybe—just fucking maybe—they’d actually be proud of him for once.
They’d have dinner, like a normal family. Then go and sit on the couch and dig their hands in bowls of popcorn while watching an awful sitcom. Then, Jason would wish them goodnight with brief but warm hugs, and go off to bed.
He never, ever, got that.
Not till he lived with Thalia.
They didn’t get to decide whether or not Jason lived with cold-hearted assholes, or somebody who actually loved him. In a place, where more than two people, deeply cared for him.
Where he finally experienced some sense of family. After years of living in either a broken, or a picture-perfect home.
He’d seen it at Leo and Esperanza’s apartment. It was small and quaint, but lived in. There were memories etched into the walls and furniture, stains and bruises from nostalgic and distressing moments, it looked well-worn and loved.
Jason’s house had never looked like that, never felt that way.
And it had killed him.
He’d done everything they wanted, had become everything they needed. And they couldn’t give him that one little thing.
A family.
“Were you going to ask me?” he whispers, stepping even closer, “Were you even going to consider my thoughts? My opinion? My feelings?”
His father goes red in the face—or well, redder. His shoulders square, tightening and rolling upwards. “I will not tolerate being talked to like this.”
Jason doesn’t even think. His mind goes white with rage. Then, he laughs, a sound full of disbelief and utter distress. His hands clutch at his head, and his laughter feels more like a delayed sob.
“I asked for one thing!” he shouts, jabbing a finger in the air. “One goddamn thing! For you to be a father. You’ve controlled every single aspect of my life I won’t let you take this!”
“Jason, if you were wiser, you’d shut up,” his father warns, his voice dark and thick. Hera sneaks up beside him, latching onto his bicep, staring between them with concerned eyes. Jason finds her behavior rather hypocritical. She cares, or at least pretends to, most of the time. But, the moment Jason dares to go against her, she turns in a moment. Despite all that, it clearly doesn’t prevent her from making snippy comments at dinner.
“No,” he scoffs, “You don’t get to pull that. You don’t get to decide when I get to speak, you already decided everything else for me. I’m the one who’s going to choose where I stay from here on out, not you.”
Thalia takes a couple steps towards him, sending the electric tension between them, almost putting herself in front of him. For some unfathomable reason, Jason feels angry towards her as well. He whirls on her, eyebrows furrowed, as he spits the rest of his feelings out.
“And you don’t get to decide where I do better—here or there—because you were never here! It was me! Alone! You left me!”
“Jason,” she gasps, eyes fluttering, as an almost heartbroken look crosses her face, “That’s not fair—“
”You know what isn’t fair?” he asks, grabbing her shoulder. It’s rougher than he meant to. Her smaller body almost stumbles under the weight of his palm. He can feel the thick white hot rage of his father within him, like the ozone build up before a lightning strike. “It wasn’t fair when I got left to deal with them alone. When my only advocate was taken away—when my rights to the rest of my life were taken away!”
“You’re being dramatic, Jason,” Hera frets, flailing her free hand. She still keeps herself firmly attached to his father, like if she were to let go, she’d be putting herself in Jason’s line of fire. Meanwhile, his father’s uncharacteristic silence was beginning to worry him, dampening his anger.
“I’m not being dramatic, I’m being truthful,” he points out, spinning to face her. “You have chosen so much of my life, micro managed it to an unbelievable amount. I’m so done with you—with all of you! Nobody, and I mean nobody, decides where I go. Nobody’s allowed to decide what I do at all!”
He leaves after that, fearing the raise of a swollen palm and a glinting ring to the face again. He disappears through the office door, breaking into a sprint as soon as he’s out of sight. After a few moments, he can hear his father’s shouts again, as he seemingly snaps out of his initial shock over Jason’s outburst.
He books it to his room, yanking the door open and slamming it shut just as fast. Jason’s fingers fumble with the lock until he hears the tell-tale click, and he presses his back to it. Slowly, he slides down to the ground.
Jason presses his sweaty face to his knees, fighting to calm his own breathing. It feels eerily similar to that night in the truck. The last night he’d stuck up to his father.
Except this time he didn’t have Leo beside him to help him through it. He didn’t feel the soft pressure of his fingers, taking his wrist so delicately, and pushing the palm of his hand to his own steady heartbeat.
Now all Jason had was the rush of blood in his ears accompanied by his own labored breathing, as he tries and struggles to focus on his breathing.
But there was no Leo in California. No Leo if Jason chose to stay.
But in truth, Jason still wasn’t sure where he wanted to stay.
Notes:
from this point on, chapters are probably gonna start releasing one at a time because they’re getting thicker in length and content as the plot begins to thicken!! i hope you enjoy this one!! my band camp starts next week, so truthfully, i have no clue when im going to have the time to write the next chapter but it should definitely release by the start of the week after next, if not sooner.
i appreciate all your comments and love on this fic it truly means so much to me <333
Chapter 13: they're changing my machinery
Notes:
chapter title and additional lyrics from "making the bed" by olivia rodrigo!
additional lyrics from “david” by lorde
no tw for this one!! enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason Grace doesn’t belong anywhere.
For as long as he could remember that has been the truth.
Back when he was still with his mom, he never belonged. He was the blonde bright-eyed giggling baby in the midst of broken shards of glass and empty beer bottles. He never deserved to be stuck in that place, with his drunken mother and traumatized big sister. He never should’ve been born to begin with. He was just another mistake made between two stupid people.
Then, when he went to be with his father, he never belonged there either. He was too hopeful, too happy, to be staying in that cold house. Yet the moment they stole that from him, he still hadn’t fit in. He couldn’t be bad, he had to be absolutely perfect, otherwise he was bound to be just another black sheep like Thalia. But Jason was far from perfect, he was possibly everything but perfect.
Nothing he did was ever truly good enough. Nor did it ever truly belong to him.
His life didn’t belong to him.
Jason couldn’t be anything more or anything less. He had to just be.
He’d begun to realize this, and it sat in the back of his mind like a persisting and annoying flame. It drove him to act out, to make decisions that risked being permanent, to make a fool out of himself.
Jason had discovered it was the only way to break free of it. He’d never imagined he’d be forced to leave the only place he’d ever happily called home.
Still though, even in Texas Jason didn’t belong. He was so many things, too many things. Too Californian, too smart, to brutish, too wild, too strange. A complete outsider. He was the random boy who showed up one year into the group of kids who’d grown up together since they were young.
Even Annabeth, who’d only shown up a handful of years before he had, belonged. She was one with the community, with the people. She’d built a reputation, and a trust, and she was treated as though she was a native like everyone else.
Jason never set himself up for such success.
And now, he had to choose between both places that never truly accepted him, but both places that called to him and combined a part of him.
He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
But right now, staying in California wouldn’t be easy. His entire life had already been uprooted and shipped to Texas in beaten up cardboard boxes. He had nothing here but his friends, and he supposed, his overbearing parents.
“But your heart?”
Down in Texas, Jason had friends. He had a house that he liked being in, a team that felt more fun than his old one ever had. He had his sister, his doting and lively sister, who’d always tried for him. Except for the years that she hadn’t.
And, lastly, he had Leo. The boy who’d captivated the majority of Jason’s thoughts, overtook every feeling he had. Jason found his thoughts wandering to Leo more than they didn’t.
Everything about Leo called him forth and entranced him, pulling him closer. He was something—someone—Jason would never be able to escape.
Years from now, he knows, Leo will still haunt his thoughts, his dreams, his everything.
He could be living with a wife, even if it may be someone he actually likes, and his thoughts would still wander. He’s young, he knows that, but he also knows that this is the truth.
Piper used to tell him that young people feel love stronger than anybody else. Back then, he hadn’t understood. He’d never been in love with anyone. Now, he supposed it made sense.
He wouldn’t say he was in love with Leo because they weren’t there yet—or maybe, he was just a little bit scared to delve into those types of feelings. He’d already had too many emotional revelations—but there was love there. The soft sweet glow of it. The love that Jason was steadily getting intoxicated on.
Leo had managed to make Jason feel loved, cared for, seen in only a couple months. His family had their whole lives to do that and they’d never tried.
And Jason isn’t so sure he could just leave that behind. Not even for Piper and Reyna.
For his parents.
After all, they were the whole reason his life felt so out of his control. They’d practically written it out for him, planned and managed every single thing he’d ever do till he died. They’d planned on keeping him obedient until it got to the point that when he realized what they were doing, he was already so deep into their plan that he couldn’t back out.
Jason only had a couple more months. This was his opportunity to back out, or at least, to take a step back and evaluate.
The more distance he had from them, the easier that would be.
i don’t belong to anyone
was i just young blood to get on tape
cause you dimed me out, when it got hard
uppercut to the throat, i was off guard
pure heroine, mistaken for a featherweight
Football practice doesn’t feel right.
It was the first thing he’d noticed once he’d returned to school in Texas.
He’d gotten back the day before school picked up again. He’d spent the remainder of that day lazily unpacking in his room, taking his time and appreciating the silence for once. After the Thanksgiving blow up, his father found a reason to yell at him every day. He thinks his ears were starting to ring by the end of it.
Returning to school had already felt off. He was like a ghost, roaming around the hallways until he eventually had a class with one of his friends. They didn’t let him pass by invisible.
Leo greets him first, rushing over to his locker at passing period. He stops just a foot or so short of him, and they just stare at each other.
The awkwardness from the almost kiss hadn’t gone away before he left, so he isn’t sure why he expected it to go away after he returned. Neither of them had ever acknowledged it, that’d be too much, but it was clear they both knew what happened. Clear that it was Jason’s fault.
“You’re back,” Leo breathes, holding on tight to his backpack straps. He sways his torso, a little tick he does when he has too much energy.
“What? Did you miss me?” Jason bites back with a little grin, pulling out his biology textbook.
Normally they could quip back and forth like this. Normally Leo would smirk, a devilish smirk of his own rising on his face, and would say something equally cheeky.
Except this time that doesn’t happen.
This time Leo’s eyes blow wide, darting around like he was looking for an escape exit. He stutters around an answer, bouncing on the balls of his feet, before huffing and unsure, “No, why would I?”
Jason pauses, his smile falling into a grimace. He drops his biology textbook into his backpack. Then he asks, “Are you okay?”
The panic comes back, something flighty. “Yeah, I-I’m fine. Um, listen, I gotta go. I’ll see you later okay?” Leo doesn’t wait for a response, practically pushing past him and speeding down the hall. Jason turns on his heel, pushing his locker shut and watches him go.
Halfway down the hallway, Leo’s being pulled aside by someone else, into an embrace. Something flares up within Jason, and he almost takes a step forward. The only thing that stopped him was the sound of his sneaker scuffing against the waxed tile, and a friendly hand clamping down on his shoulder.
“Jealous much?” Will asks, a gloating look on his face. “C’mon, lovebird, we have a biology class to get to.”
Jason swallows down his outward jealousy, nodding a little shakily, and following Will down the hallway. When he spares a look over his shoulder, he has to do a double take when he sees Leo’s fingers intertwined with those of a small honey-haired girl.
and every night, i wake up from this one recurrin' dream
where i'm drivin' through the city and the brakes go out on me
i can't stop at the red light, i can't swerve off the road
i read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control
Since their meeting two months prior, Jason found himself becoming good friends with Nico di Angelo.
He wasn’t anything like Piper or Reyna—they weren’t that close—but Jason felt more connected to him than he did some of his other friends.
Nico was a good person to go to who would just sit and listen, waiting till you’ve just finally got it all out, then finally offering a solution. He didn’t open up to Jason much, but that was okay, because the amount Jason told him was in limited amounts too.
Nobody really knew about his rocky relationship with his father except for Leo, and Annabeth had probably figured it out but never mentioned it. Nico was no exception to this, but he was happy to listen to Jason’s complaints about Texas.
In turn, Jason heard Nico’s complaints about New York, his own troubled schooling, and sometimes even Percy. Nico was someone Jason could text at the end of the day who would just listen to him and not expect much out of it. Jason didn’t feel like he was burdening by dumping it all on him, no matter how simple it may seem compared to his bigger problems.
But, Leo, was becoming a big problem.
Jason couldn’t take his mind off him and that unknown girl. The way her hands had wrapped around him, pressed against the flat of his back. The way they’d intertwined between his fingers, and clearly not fit the way Jason’s thicker fingers did. Nothing about it looked right. He should’ve been in her place.
Thoughts like that slightly disgusted him. It wasn’t like he owned Leo, or Leo had any obligation towards him. He was more than allowed to have interest in other people—other girls—and as his best friend, Jason should be supportive and happy for him.
He’d always known that despite that moment in Leo’s bedroom, the other boy didn’t return the feelings Jason held for him. He never would. Jason had let himself indulge, let himself foolishly think that just maybe Leo might feel something for him too.
Reasonably, he could’ve turned to Reyna or Piper to talk about it. They were the only ones who know about his wayward sexuality, the only ones he’d ever been confident enough to talk to. But here he was, on the phone with Nico as he lazily worked on an essay, and found himself saying, “I need your advice.”
Although Nico had never explicitly said so, Jason could tell he was gay. If the way he’d looked at Will the first day they met, or talked about him now, wasn’t proof enough then the fact he’d physically recoiled when Jason mentioned the mysterious girl was
He sees Nico’s head perk up, buried in his own arms as he tiredly listened to whatever Jason was saying beforehand. His eyes are bleary, but then again, when are they not?
“Hm? What’s up?” he asks, looking on the verge of taking a nap.
Jason sucks in a deep breath, trying to steel his nerves. Even with the off chance Nico wasn’t gay, it’s not like he wouldn’t be supportive. He knew Nico wasn’t an asshole. Nico also wouldn’t make a big thing about it. If Jason just went about it casually, maybe the most he’d get is a congratulations.
“I think Leo has a girlfriend,” he admits quietly, swallowing hard. He lets Nico soak in the hidden context behind that, before preparing to add on the troubling fact he has feelings for his best friend.
Nico cuts him off before he can though. Dazed, he mutters, “You aren’t dating Leo?”
It takes Jason’s brain about fifty seconds to catch up with that, bluescreening as he blinks at the facetime screen. “Uh, what? No, no, we’ve never dated—I can’t even imagine…why would you think that?”
He feels like he’s swearing. A quick swipe at the back of his neck with his hand confirms that he is.
Nico deadpans before raising one unimpressed eyebrow. “Have you seen yourself around him? The way you talk about him?”
“Well,” Jason mumbles uncertain, glancing around his room like it might hold the answers to all his problems, “I have feelings for him, yes. B-But that doesn’t mean we’re dating! He doesn’t even like me like that.”
Nico sits back in his gaming chair, the dark red of his led lights highlighting his face.
“You guys hold hands,” Nico ends up saying, “you’re around each other constantly. You go on late night drives. You share a bed at sleepovers. You wore matching costumes on halloween. I think anybody with a brain thinks you’re a couple.”
“That’s not true,” Jason argues, but it’s weak and unsure. They weren’t together, and while Jason would love to be, he just knows they can’t.
He isn’t good enough for Leo. His life would only put this bright, blazing, and brilliant boy in a suffocating box and dimming his fire. Jason was bound to end up with someone just as controlled as him.
He just couldn’t imagine a future outside of it.
That is, except for that day in Leo’s bedroom, where he saw a future in which he woke up with a much smaller, and much warmer body pressed against his.
It was the nicest dream he’d ever had. But also, the most unattainable.
“I think you’re just being insecure,” Nico decides, reaching out of the camera frame to grab a mcdonald’s cup. He takes a long sip. Then, he announces, “You guys are practically dating already. Besides it’s only high school, it’s not like you have to date him to marry him. It could be fun to just…experiment.”
“You’re such a hypocrite.”
Nico’s eyebrows shoot up, one of the biggest amounts of emotion he’d shown all call. Nico wasn’t big on facial expressions, mostly giving deadpans and the occasional scowl. “What?” he asks, disbelief lacing his voice.
Jason frowns at him, crossing his arms. “You’re telling me to just have fun and experiment with Leo, but you can’t even answer Will’s texts?” Nico’s face flashes with surprise, before it quickly morphs into a snarl. “Yeah, I know about that.”
“My relationship with Will has nothing to do with this.”
A delirious little grin crosses Jason’s face. He’s almost grateful that the attention had been peeled off him for a moment, despite the fact he’d brought the topic up himself. “So,” he muses, leaning forward and closer to the phone, “You admit there’s a relationship?”
“No!” Nico shouts, way too loud. “I—I don’t…ugh, shut up!”
A couple moments later, halfway through Jason’s laughter, Nico’s door cracks open. Bianca’s head pokes in through the door, her hair plaited into two messy sleep braids.
“Nico,” she says, the accent rolling on her tongue, “Keep it down. Some of us are trying to sleep, okay?”
The boy flushes, covering his phone camera with his palms as he quietly speed whispers his apologies to her.
After a handful of seconds where Jason tries—and fails—to muffle his laughter, he’s met by Nico’s face, up close and personal, as he scowls at the camera.
“I do not,” he emphasizes, “have any sort of relationship with Will.”
“You’ve been ignoring his texts,” Jason points out, unconvinced, “Why? To me that just seems like you’re scared to talk to him.”
“I’m not! He’s annoying!”
“Uh huh, and that’s why you have total puppy dog eyes when he comes up in conversation,” Jason sighs, tapping along at his keyboards. His essay had been long forgotten halfway through their phone call, and Jason couldn’t even remember the last point he’d been trying to make.
Even with the harsh led lighting, Jason can see Nico’s cheeks flush pink. He looks away, like it would shield the fact he was totally devoted to Will.
“Yeah well,” Nico stutters, pressing his thin lips together, “Same goes for you about Leo. You’re even worse.”
Looking back, Jason should’ve thoroughly thought out his next words. Of course, he’d meant them as a joke, but he should’ve known Nico wouldn’t take him that way. That he’d see the potential to mentally torture Jason and take it in a heartbeat. Even if it was at the risk of potentially embarrassing himself.
“Y’know what?” he proposes, a sly smirk marking his face, “I’ll ask Leo out if you actually start talking to Will.”
Nico doesn’t respond, he just sends a determined gaze at the camera, before facetime tells him that his screen was paused.
It’s only two minutes of awkward silence until Jason’s phone dings with a text.
From Will! to you, and three others.
> GUYS
> NICO JUST TEXTED ME ASKINF TO PLAY COD WIRH HIM
Slowly, a sense of dread builds in Jason’s stomach. Nico’s facetime screen unpauses, an uncharacteristically smug look gracing his face.
“I hate you,” Jason mutters through grit teeth, “So much.”
“You better honor your word, Grace,” Nico sighs, setting his phone up so he can grab his gaming headset. He puts it on, adjusting the mic before settling back in his chair. “I have a game to play.”
Jason’s only answer is to hang up on him.
He sets his phone down on his desk, as his phone continues to light up with texts from his group chat, mostly Will freaking out over his crush suddenly ending his ghosting streak to ask him to play a video game Will had never even played.
Jason, logically, should answer and be supportive. Instead, he stares at the wall. Stares at the picture Annabeth had printed out per his request, the same one that Leo had as his phone screen.
He sees that picture of Leo, immortalized, the way his smile shines and his face practically glows with joy. He wishes he could see that everyday.
There was no saying Leo actually has a girlfriend. It could be an old childhood friend, or even just a girl who held interest in him and he was being polite to. There was nothing that had a reasoning that could stop Jason from asking him out.
And, in a way, Nico was right. He could try things out with Leo, but it didn’t have to go far. If anything, they might discover they’re better off as friends. There’s still the potential that they could date and break up, and Jason would still get to have him in his life in the future. Even to a minor degree.
The only problem was, he had to work up the courage to do so.
Notes:
a lot shorter of a chapter but i’m really glad i pumped this out. it’s sunday august 10th, and i start my week long band camp tmrw, which means i’ll hardly get to write, so im really glad i can update again before that goes on. although it’s short i hope u guys enjoy this somewhat filler, even tho there is importanr stuff in it!!! also nico (and slightly a bianca ??) cameo!! my fav siblings ever i love them so much (esp bianca i could kiss her on the forehead she’s literally my child) i hope you all continue interest in this fic despite the fact it may not get updated for a bit and enjoy the rest of the story because i have big plans!!
Pages Navigation
Marmellade on Chapter 1 Sun 20 Jul 2025 11:00PM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 1 Sun 20 Jul 2025 11:18PM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 1 Thu 24 Jul 2025 12:17AM UTC
Comment Actions
tilsaurusrex on Chapter 1 Tue 22 Jul 2025 12:44AM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 1 Thu 24 Jul 2025 12:18AM UTC
Comment Actions
wheresnoah on Chapter 1 Mon 04 Aug 2025 04:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
Marmellade on Chapter 2 Sun 20 Jul 2025 11:48PM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 2 Mon 21 Jul 2025 12:24AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 21 Jul 2025 12:24AM UTC
Comment Actions
tilsaurusrex on Chapter 2 Tue 22 Jul 2025 12:57AM UTC
Comment Actions
wheresnoah on Chapter 2 Mon 04 Aug 2025 04:52PM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 3 Thu 24 Jul 2025 03:21AM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 4 Thu 24 Jul 2025 03:25AM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 4 Sun 27 Jul 2025 02:58AM UTC
Comment Actions
ava_sweeney on Chapter 4 Thu 24 Jul 2025 10:48AM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 4 Sun 27 Jul 2025 02:59AM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 5 Sun 27 Jul 2025 06:23AM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 6 Sun 27 Jul 2025 07:01AM UTC
Comment Actions
Marmellade on Chapter 6 Sun 27 Jul 2025 07:20AM UTC
Comment Actions
tilsaurusrex on Chapter 6 Sun 27 Jul 2025 10:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
xxstrawberry_shortcakexx on Chapter 6 Sun 27 Jul 2025 04:17PM UTC
Comment Actions
ava_sweeney on Chapter 6 Sun 27 Jul 2025 11:10PM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 6 Sun 03 Aug 2025 03:35PM UTC
Comment Actions
Vibes42 on Chapter 6 Mon 28 Jul 2025 04:56AM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 6 Mon 28 Jul 2025 12:51PM UTC
Comment Actions
Astrocities on Chapter 6 Wed 30 Jul 2025 09:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
takeimi on Chapter 6 Wed 30 Jul 2025 09:42AM UTC
Comment Actions
leooooo_23 on Chapter 7 Wed 30 Jul 2025 06:33PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation