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It was three am and the dorm was silent, save for the quiet whir of the air conditioning. Jeongguk had always been someone who found comfort in noise. He fell asleep with the tv on most of the time. Things were different now. He had spent so much time during enlistment unlearning his habits and blending in, that he felt disconnected to the habits that used to make him safe.
Somehow there had been an unspoken agreement to move back into the dorm once they were discharged. Jeongguk didn’t wanna go home to his empty apartment, he wanted to be around the people he had missed the most — and Jimin, who somehow wasn’t annoyed by him yet.
As he tiptoed through the kitchen, he downed a glass of cold water. Maybe one of the other members was still up? He wasn’t so sure if he actually wanted to talk, though. He just wanted to be around them. Spending time together during the day wasn’t enough, especially since they all had things to do and couldn’t just hang out with Jeongguk. He may have pull as the maknae but he couldn’t change schedules.
The first member he checked on was Namjoon, but as expected, he wasn’t even home. His insomnia was hitting him hard, so he spent a lot of his nights at his studio where he eventually crashed on the sofa there.
He knew not to check on Yoongi’s room either, considering he was still in his last days of his office job. He kept insisting that if he came home to the dorm between shifts, that he wouldn’t find the energy to go to work again – so he stayed at his own apartment. He made it sound like the members would rob him of his energy, but Jeongguk knew he was a sap who was just punishing himself.
To no one’s surprise, Jimin’s bed was empty as well. Instead, Taehyung’s bed looked awfully full. You’d think that with how much Jimin complained about Jeongguk “accidentally” cuddling him during base camp, he would insist on sleeping alone. But Taehyung was the exception. He had always been. It didn’t matter that he was all buff now, he was still Jimin’s baby. Any other night, Jeongguk might consider crawling on top of them just for the fun of it. But tonight, he was content to leave them tangled together.
That left Hoseok and Seokjin. Both had been busy during the days with their respective tours, but Hoseok’s was finally finished – which only meant Seokjin would leave soon. He knew that Hoseok would be happy to have Jeongguk crawl into his bed.
And yet, he found himself sneaking into Seokjin’s room. As usual, Seokjin was lying on his back with his sleep mask on, looking like a proper vampire resting in his coffin. Jeongguk tried fitting himself next to his hyung without waking him, but failed tremendously.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin sighed, his hand moving to cup the back of Jeongguk’s neck. After all these years, it must’ve been very simple to guess which dongsaeng was disrupting his dreams. “Can’t sleep?”
Jeongguk shook his head before resting it on Seokjin’s shoulder. He moved his leg to wrap around Seokjin’s hip. “Does it get better?”
“Mostly,” Seokjin mumbled, sliding his sleep mask up. “It helps when you stay busy during the day.” He started rubbing his hand over Jeongguk’s back – the way he used to when Jeongguk had nightmares about ruining their debut or fucking up on stage. “What do you think about the most?”
“I got so good at fitting in with everyone that I forgot how much I hated the things they made me do,” Jeongguk replied, hoping he was even making any sense.
“Like what?”
“Like…” Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek. “I wish I didn’t know how to use guns. I wish all of these drills that I got so good at weren’t still ingrained in me. I wish I could just… be me again. From before.”
Seokjin hummed and it almost felt like he pressed a short kiss to the crown of Jeongguk’s head. “I get it, but you know there’s no point in wishing for things that aren’t possible. The reason why you and Jimin were so good at what you did during your service is that you are hard workers who are ambitious, and put their heart into everything they do. That’s a good quality to have. You did the best you could, and you will continue to make hyung proud.”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk tilted his head up so he could look up at Seokjin. There wasn’t much light in the room but Jeongguk could make out his face enough. Even though he’d been back for days, being close to his hyungs again still tugged on his heartstrings. It was almost as if he was scared they’d get separated again.
“And since you did so well in the kitchen, you will make sure that your hyung is well fed from now on.” He gently squeezed the back of Jeongguk’s neck.
Jeongguk giggled. “Yes, hyungnim.” He scooted a little up the bed, so that they were nose to nose. “You know what I heard?”
“Hm?” Seokjin’s hand moved to Jeongguk’s waist.
“That you missed me the most,” Jeongguk whispered, his lips almost touching Seokjin’s.
Seokjin cleared his throat sheepishly, and Jeongguk didn’t need the lights on to tell that his ears were turning red. “I was just–”
Softly, Jeongguk captured Seokjin’s lips with his own, before he could embarrass himself any further. This was one thing that hadn’t changed. The way their mouths fit together; the way they melted into each other; the way Seokjin made Jeongguk’s heart beat out of his chest just by pulling him closer. “I missed you the most, too.”
“Did you now?” Seokjin asked, his lips brushing over Jeongguk’s jaw. “I’ll have to tell Yoongi.”
Jeongguk made a sound between a giggle and a whine. “Hyung, don’t be mean.”
“I’m just holding you accountable.” He gently bit Jeongguk’s earlobe. “Thought you wanted to sleep?”
Sighing, Jeongguk nuzzled into the side of Seokjin’s neck. “I do. Can I stay here?”
“Sure.”
“That doesn’t sound very enthusiastic,” Jeongguk said with a pout.
Seokjin pinched his side. “I can and will throw you off this mattress.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Jeongguk replied, wrapping his arms and legs around Seokjin. “I'm stuck to you.”
“That you are.” Seokjin pressed a kiss to Jeongguk’s head, before sliding his sleep mask back down. “Now, sleep.”
Humming, Jeongguk cuddled even closer. He still wasn’t very tired, but at the very least he was happy to hold Seokjin until he needed to get up. One step at a time.