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Before Hinata told his teammates that he was going to Brazil to pursue beach volleyball, he had practiced it in his head a hundred of times, how to announce it, when to drop the bomb, whether to smile or pretend to be cool about it.
He figured maybe someone would laugh or tell him he was out of his mind. But instead, everyone had cheered. Even Tsukishima, the ever salty-shima clapped him on the back and muttered something like, "Well, you'll be fine. It's you we are talking about. Just don't die, moron".
Yamaguchi had nodded with a proud captain-like grin while Yachi-san had teared up—real tears with the most beautiful and encouraging smile Hinata had ever seen.
And Kageyama...Kageyama had said nothing.
At first, Hinata assumed Kageyama was still processing the news. That later, maybe in the club room or on the way home when it was just the two of them, he would corner Hinata with the familiar scowl and smirk, then said something infuriatingly classicyama like "Don't take too long, dumbass! I'm going ahead first!".
But the conversation never came. Instead, Hinata realized that Kageyama had started avoiding him. Not in a way most people would notice because he still tossed to Hinata perfectly, still drilled Hinata with his powerful serves across the net and still stayed late after club hours to practice together.....but somewhere in all of that, Kageyama stopped looking at him.
There were no snide comments. No insults. No challenges. Not even his usual grumble.
It reminded Hinata of their first big fight, back in their freshman year. But at least then, there was a reason for the argument. They were fighting to build a new them, to be a better partner for each other.
This time, Hinata was not quite sure. It felt like something was slowly breaking instead. And it confused the hell out of Hinata because he was the one who would be going away, so why did it feel like Kageyama the one who was leaving?
The answer arrived a week later when the team learned that Kageyama had been recruited to train with the Japan National Team in preparation for Rio Olympics next year. Since he was the youngest participant on the roster, it was a huge news and everyone was celebrating, rightfully so.
Hinata wasn't surprised because he always knew Kageyama would make it. But it would be a lie if he said this news didn't bother him. Jealousy, yes but more than that, it seemed Kageyama was starting to slip away from him, that their time together as Karasuno's freak duo was almost up.
In a few months, Kageyama would be known as Schweiden Adlers and Japan's rookie's setter, not the prodigy setter from Karasuno High School, and definitely not his setter anymore.
Before Hinata could really process his feelings, more things started to happen ahead of their graduation. Following the big announcement, a small production team started following Kageyama around for a documentary to capture "The Daily Life of Japan's Volleyball Future", was what they called it.
They filmed Kageyama walking running to the school, the way he tried to stay awake (but failed) in between classes, clips of his lunch routines that featured his favourite curry rice and even staged interviews in the gym with Karasuno banner in the background.
It should have been cool, heck it was cool to watch the boy who Hinata once crowned as a king again being captured and slowly immortalized as someone important, someone destined for greatness.
But somehow, the whole thing just made the awkwardness more visible, the distance between them stretching longer. Hinata kept catching himself lingering at the edges of the camera's frame, like a passerby in someone else's story.
He hated to think that he was slowly becoming a ghost in Kageyama's bright future.
"Uh, so... no volleyball today", Yamaguchi announced as he stepped into the gym with Kageyama trailing him from behind, looking mildly offended by the news.
Hinata, who was already in the middle of stretching with one leg hooked over the ball cart, shouted in surprise, "What do you mean no volleyball???".
From the corner of the gym, Tsukishima muttered sarcastically, "Tragic".
"Hey, don't blame me, guys! The director of Kageyama's documentary asked Coach Ukai if they could shoot a slice of life thing today instead. The want a footage of us cleaning the gym, to show team chemistry and bonding with Kageyama", Yamaguchi replied defensively, holding up his hands.
"Which is hilarious because the king hasn't spoken to anyone outside of volleyball stuffs for like three weeks now", Tsukishima interrupted, his voice dripped in with more sarcasm than before.
Yamaguchi shot him a look that clearly said, "Tsukki, please don't start".
Fortunately, Kageyama didn't bother to take the bait. He mumbled a quiet "sorry for the trouble" to everyone before grabbing two buckets and heading outside to fill them with water.
The gym fell into a short silence when he left. It was not tense, but definitely awkward.
Hinata blinked, still staring at Kageyama’s retreating back. His response had been… unlikely. Hinata wanted to run after him, maybe compete over who could bring back more buckets faster, but it didn’t seem like Kageyama was in the mood for that.
Then, one of the first year spoke up nervously, "Wait... are we actually doing this? Like, cleaning, cleaning? Also, we are going to be on tv like Kageyama-san, seriously??????"
Tsukishima sighed, adjusting his glasses and said passive-aggressively, "Apparently, it’s bonding time. So yes, grab a mop. You'll be fine as long as you don't look at Kageyama like he's dying of volleyball disease like a certain someone".
"I didn't do such thing", Hinata responded a little too quickly. A little too guilty.
"And I didn't name you", Tsukishima added, raising an eyebrow with a satisfied smug on his face. At least one of the two idiots had taken the bait.
Yamaguchi clapped his hands loudly and cut them faster before they could argue more, "Okay, enough! Let's just get through this without anyone starting a fight or breaking a camera. Please!!!".
As expected, it had been stiff. Everyone was too hyper aware of the cameras, especially the first years. Their shoulders' tense and movements overly careful. Even the usual banter felt faked and rehearsed.
However, instead of worrying about how he would appear in the camera like the others, Hinata was more concerned and distracted watching one of the new female managers mopping too close to Kageyama, trying to flatter him in front of the director, that Hinata had accidentally kicked over a full bucket of water.
It splashed over Kageyama who managed to push the girl from being drenched by Hinata's clumsiness.
Everyone was frozen on the spot including the camera crews until Kageyama shouted at Hinata for being an idiot, grinning like he couldn't believe how dumb Hinata could be.
For the first time in weeks, Kageyama was smiling. Not the stiff, awkward half-smile that people made him do for the cameras but a real one. The one that always made Hinata felt warm and all gwaaaaahhhhhh inside.
The kind of smile that Hinata used to chase across the court like it was the finish line itself. Kageyama had looked at him, like really looked this time and laughed again.
"You're such a dumbass", Kageyama yelled, water dripping from his wet shirt but his voice edged with something familiar and warm. Hinata laughed too, flustered and relieved with his hands raised in mock surrender.
Yamaguchi was shaking his head, knew too well what would follow. It became an all-out splash war after that as Kageyama dumped another bucket in retaliation, Tsukishima caught in between and chased after them while Yachi anxiously tried to warn everyone to be careful from slipping as the gym rang with laughter.
In that moment, there were no looming goodbyes or new beginnings. It was just them, throwing water at each other like kids, shirts clinging to their skin and sneakers squeaking on the wet floor. No one paid attention to the cameras.
Just them, living in this moment, in their dazzling youth. So, as it turned out, the team bonding was apparently a huge success although by the time the camera crew wrapped up their session, the gym felt too quiet.
The others had gone back to the club room to dry themselves as the rain was suddenly outpouring outside, leaving the two troublemakers who got them into that situation to clean up the mess as instructed by their ever strict captain, Yamaguchi.
So, Hinata ended up watching Kageyama mopping half-heartedly across the far end of the gym, near the dripping window and just like that, the distance between them returned.
Kageyama wasn't looking at him again..... which was completely unacceptable because Hinata could still feel the stings where a bruise had formed when Kageyama whacked him with the mop handle during the water fight earlier.
It was very rude of him to pretend that Hinata didn't exist especially after leaving his mark like that.
Hinata exhaled sharply and stomped across the gym, water squelching dramatically with every step towards Kageyama. He had enough. This weirdness between them had to stop.
"Why are you avoiding me?", Hinata demanded, angrier than he meant to.
"I'm not avoiding you”, Kageyama replied, his voice loud as if he was trying to convince himself too.
Then, he added. A little softer like a kid who had just caught red handed in his lie, “I…I wasn’t trying to..Sorry”.
Hinata's mouth twitched. He always hated when Kageyama apologized to him. Not when he apologized for tossing the last ball to Hinata that lost them the Seijoh match in their first tournament together. And definitely, not right now.
"Then, what is it?!", Hinata snapped. When Kageyama still wasn't looking at him properly, his frustration flooded out all at once.
"You won't look at me, you won't talk to me unless we are playing, you didn't even say anything about my plan to Brazil, heck, you didn't tell me about Schweiden Adlers either, about JAPAN and it was upsetting because I thought we—"
His voice caught in his throat before he decided to continue, a quiet confession when he said, "I thought we were more than that, Kageyama".
That got Hinata a reaction. Kageyama's eyes finally flicked up, dark and vulnerable. Once he stopped looking down, Hinata could finally saw him.
Kageyama's short hair was clinging to his forehead in thick, wet strands. There was a line of water trailing down his neck, disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt. He looked like he just came in from the storm outside. And in a way maybe he had.
Hinata didn't take his eyes off Kageyama when the setter dropped the mop on the floor and reached out forward with trembled hands. So unlike how steady he was while handling the ball on the court, while sending Hinata his favourite's toss.
Still, he flinched a little when Kageyama's fingertips gripped his chin—no, more accurately they were brushing his mouth now, like Kageyama was trying to stop him from saying more.
Even so, Hinata didn't move. He couldn't. Not when Kageyama was finally looking at him. But he wanted to hold onto Kageyama too, so, he lifted his own hand and curled it gently around Kageyama's wrist.
Not to pull or push him away, but to anchor him. Or more like to tie him down, to tie him to Hinata so he wouldn't dare to run away again.
"I want to support you. And I will. You know I do...", Kageyama swallowed hard, as if every word cost him something before continuing, "but I don't want to say anything because...if I do, it will make it real. It feels like I’m losing you and I don't want to be selfish. I don’t want to hold back, not you, not my future".
"You are selfish. But, so am I, Kageyama", Hinata replied immediately, fiercely. He leaned in just a little when he whispered more tenderly this time, "We don’t need to hold back, we can be greedy with each other. It's allowed".
And slowly, like it was inevitable, Kageyama leaned in too and their mouth met somewhere in the space between past and future. Their present.
It was clumsy and wet and desperate. They didn't know what they were doing and Hinata was pretty sure he even bumped teeth with Kageyama. But it didn’t matter because it was real. So, when Kageyama kissed him harder, like he didn't want to let go, Hinata melted into it, his fingers clutching Kageyama's arm tighter like he could erase every terrible doubt with this intimate touch.
"Oh my god, are you serious?!", Tsukishima's voice rang out like a gunshot.
Hinata yelped, leaping back from Kageyama like he had just been hit with a spike. "It's not what it looks like".
"It's exactly what it looks like. Can't leave you alone for ten minutes without you sticking your tongue down the king's throat?", Tsukishima said flatly, annoyingly.
"We didn't!!", Hinata flushed bright red. "There was no tongue".
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow and mocked them again, "Can I lock the gym now, or are you two going to make out again? Tch, this is why I told Yamaguchi not to worry about you two morons".
Hinata made a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a dying cat while Kageyama picked the mop off the ground with a sharp, robotic movement.
"We're done. We were just done".
"I'm going to die", Hinata muttered, face buried in his palms because of course, of all the people, it got to be the annoying petty-shima who caught them. He was never going to let them live this down.
"No, you're not. You're going to Brazil", Kageyama corrected him and then, very deliberately, his hands found Hinata's, slowly and carefully threading their fingers together.
Something inside Hinata's chest, that had been tightening for weeks, finally gave in. Turned out, it wasn't breaking.
The feeling he couldn't name before, it was finally falling into place.
"I love you, Kageyama-kun", he declared proudly, like he was three years ago when he told Kageyama he would defeat him even if that would take him ten or twenty years.
And just like back then, Kageyama looked at Hinata straight in his eyes and returned his sincere feelings genuinely.