Chapter Text
You turn around, and Carter is on his knees. Cheeks flushed a florid pink, hands sweaty and clasped in front of him like the moment before Sunday prayer, looking at you like a lamb begging off its slaughter.
You have to wonder what the hell the kid is doing, and then he says, “I do care,” and “I'm gonna finish the rotation.” And so you understand what he’s doing and have to wonder what the hell is wrong with him instead.
You’d said, “Med school teach you any more productive use for your mouth besides defending your misdiagnosis?” and then realized the double entendre that you'd both heard made it a step below even your worst schoolyard digs, and turned away so when you redirected it into something resembling professionalism you didn’t have to look him in the eye. “You care about this job at all, you’re gonna have to show me through action, Carter.”
Do the work. That’s what you’d meant. Get your shit together and do the work.
And then you’d turned back around.
He’s staring at you, that underbelly shaved-lamb pink crawling down his neck as he waits. You laugh, disbelieving. It’s a good color on him.
And he might be clinically insane for going belly-up like that at the first sign of abuse of power. That freaks you out, knocks the absurdity into something concerning.
“Carter, get the hell up,” you snap.
Carter trips over himself to stand, limbs a blur of straightening his coat and scattering his hair and failing to wipe the embarrassment from his cheeks. “I thought you wanted,” he stammers in protest. “You said, I thought—”
“Yeah, well, you thought very wrong.” How do you ask him why that was his first instinct? “You’re my student, Carter,” you say instead. “Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be? If I tried that for real, that’s when you get my ass fired.”
“I’m sorry.” He looks miserable. “I’m not into any of that, I swear.” By that, you hope he means more than just men. He doesn’t seem to. “And you're brilliant, everyone respects you,” he says. “I really can’t lose this, you know?” You have no idea what he’s talking about.
“Carter,” you start. It’s important to know if it’s happened before. He’s on the verge of tears, biting his lip as he avoids your eye. You sigh. “Take a second and pull yourself together. Forget this ever happened.”
Carter nods, still avoidant as his lip springs free from his teeth. You think, maybe if he wasn’t your student. You think, he’s pretty almost like a girl, smooth like one. His hair is long enough to pull. You might not even know the difference.
You turn around and walk out.