Chapter Text
It all started—like every poor decision in the Host Club with Tamaki standing on the table.
“I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN!” he declared, voice echoing across the Third Music Room like a royal decree.
“Denied,” Kyoya replied flatly, already flipping a page on his clipboard.
“You don’t even know what it is yet!” Tamaki clutched his chest.
“If it involves costume changes or psychological damage, we’re not interested,” Kaoru called from behind a teacup tower.
“But this time,” Tamaki grinned, “it involves… Haruhi.”
A collective gasp.
Haruhi, pouring tea calmly in the corner, paused. “me?”
Tamaki struck a dramatic pose. “Today, my lovely daughter will learn… the power of the reverse kabedon!”
“Reverse kabedon?” Haruhi repeated.
“Where you kabedon us!”
She blinked. “Why would I want to do that?”
“For host practice!”
“No.”
“For the fantasy of romance!”
“No.”
“For the aesthetic!”
“No.”
Kaoru suddenly whispered, “Fancy Tuna.”
Haruhi paused.
“…What kind?”
“The kind Kyoya keeps in the safe with the golden lock,” Hikaru added with a grin.
Kyoya sighed. “I knew I should’ve changed the code.”
Haruhi turned slowly. “...Fine.”
“WORTH IT!” Tamaki cheered.
---
Tamaki stood against the wall, eyes fluttering.
“Haruhi, I grant you permission to kabedon me like a true heroine!”
She approached… squinted up… and immediately frowned.
She couldn’t even reach his collar.
“you're tall" she commented
“I have a solution!” Tamaki whipped out a small, suspiciously placed chair.
“Where did you even get that?” she asked.
“I had it prepared for emergencies—like height!”grinning
' so you could fall dramatically into my arms' he thought
Its like Haruhi read his thoughts she said
“No” in an instant.
“Chair rejected"
Instead, she placed her hand awkwardly somewhere around his jacket pocket.
He gasped, already narrating out loud.
“Her hand… so firm… so cold… like a winter breeze caressing the soul of my blazer.”
“Her stare… like judgment day and poetry combined. Is this love? Or am I just nervous because she’s scowling?”
"You know i can hear you"
Tamaki leaned backward as he places his right hand on his temple acting like one of the protagonist on a telenovela.
Haruhi backs away while judging her senpai.
Tamaki wheezed while falling on the ground with a dramatic thud.
---
Hikaru stepped forward first. “Let’s do this!”
Haruhi walked up. Reached his chest. Slapped a hand against it.
“Kabedon.”
He made a dramatic swoon, sliding down the wall.
“I’VE BEEN CONQUERED!”
Kaoru pushed him aside. “My turn!”
She repeated the action.
“AH! SHE’S SO COOL—AND TERRIFYING!”
They both fell to the floor, limbs tangled.
“Is this what true love feels like? It kinda hurts.”
“Pain is temporary, kabedon is forever.”
Haruhi rolled her eyes.
---
Kyoya adjusted his glasses calmly. “I see I’m next.”
Haruhi approached. She stared up. Reached high. Tapped his blazer.
“Kabedon.”
He didn’t react.
Deep inside: “Her hand was warm. Unexpected. A tad firm. Why is my heart rate slightly elevated? Recalibrate, Ootori.”
Hikaru whispered to Kaoru, “He’s totally spiraling in silence.”
Kaoru: “It’s the quiet ones who break.”
----
Mori stood motionless.
Haruhi approached and sighed.
“Senpai, I can’t even find your chin.”
He kneeled slightly.
She placed a flat palm to his upper chest.
“Kabedon.”
Mori nodded.
“Still counts,” he said.
From the sidelines, Tamaki wiped a tear. “So honorable… so stoic… so unreachable…”
---
<
Honey practically skipped into position.
“Me next, Haru-chan! I’m ready!”
She blinked. “You’re… actually the only one I can reach.”
She walked up.
Placed her hand gently beside his head.
“Kab—”
Before she could even finish, Honey squealed.
He launched himself at her, hugging her tightly around the waist like an excited kid
"Haruhi you're so cool!~"
Haruhi blinked. “You didn’t even let me finish!”
“I couldn’t help it i'm like a protagonist on a Shoujo manga!”
And Haruhi cant help flushing
The twins were screeching.
Tamaki was on the floor muttering about why Haruhi's flushing
----
Haruhi sat and waiting for her Fancy Tuna.
Kaoru delivered it on a silver tray, wearing gloves and singing angelic chorus notes.
She opened the lid, took one bite, and closed her eyes.
"It was worth it.”