Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Business as Usual... or So They Thought
It was another typical afternoon at the Third Music Room. Sunlight spilled through tall windows, casting soft golden rays over velvet couches, bone china teacups, and delicate pastries that looked too pretty to eat. The Host Club was in full swing, with girls giggling, violin music playing faintly in the background, and Tamaki Suoh sparkling in full princely glory.
Haruhi Fujioka, ever the picture of composed practicality, balanced a tray of teacups as she weaved through the room. She had no idea she was currently the center of a silent, emotionally charged war.
Honey-senpai, seated not too far from her, clung to her arm like a human-sized koala. He was giggling as usual, holding Usa-chan in one hand and a strawberry shortcake fork in the other. "Haru-chan, try a bite! It’s extra sweet today!" he chirped.
"Later, Senpai," she said with a soft smile, gently detaching herself from his grip so she could refill the twins' tea. She missed the way Honey's eyes flicked toward the corner of the room, where Tamaki sat frozen mid-sip, lips pursed in an expression of barely restrained suffering.
Tamaki Suoh, king of overreaction and unspoken yearning, had noticed it.
He had *definitely* noticed it.
The clinginess. The familiarity. The gentle smile Haruhi gave Honey that she rarely gave to *him*.
Tamaki narrowed his eyes, swirling his cup like a brooding romance novel hero. He stared blankly into the tea. "The depth of her eyes... the grace in her steps... and now... He offers her cake? *Cake?!*"
He stood up dramatically, nearly knocking over a chair.
"No," he whispered, shaking his head. "No, this cannot be. Not my precious daughter."
"Because he does," Kyoya said from behind his clipboard, unbothered. "They’ve been calling each other that since the beginning. You’re just slow."
"But it’s *different* now," Tamaki whispered, clutching the edge of a velvet curtain like a grieving widow. "She lets him lean on her like a teddy bear! What if—what if he’s seducing her with confectionery?!"
"Wouldn’t be the first time someone here fell for her," Hikaru said, appearing behind him.
"Or the second," Kaoru added from his other side.
"Or the third," they said in unison.
Tamaki spun to face them, eyes wide. "Wait—*you*—?!"
"We said *someone*, not us," Kaoru said with a smug grin.
"Although if someone *were* to make a move, it would be us," Hikaru added, tossing his bangs dramatically. "We know her best."
"She drinks milk tea with half sugar. Eats miso soup before rice. Doesn’t like cucumbers."
"And sings off-key when she thinks no one’s listening."
Tamaki gasped. "That’s so intimate! That’s practically... practically..."
"Marital knowledge?" Kyoya offered dryly.
Tamaki clutched his chest and collapsed onto the nearest couch. "My sweet Haruhi... unaware that she is being hunted like a delicate spring fawn in a forest of wolves!"
In the center of the chaos, Haruhi blinked as the girls around her swooned over the twins performing a synchronized wink. She sipped her own tea and frowned. "Why is everyone being weirder than usual today?"
Honey, still beside her, nuzzled her shoulder like it was a habit. "Maybe they’re just jelly, Haru-chan," he said innocently.
"Jelly? Are they low on blood sugar? Should I ask Kyoya-senpai to order more snacks?"
Honey barely stifled a giggle. "No, Haru-chan... never mind."
---
Later, after the guests had gone and cleanup had begun, Tamaki called an emergency meeting.
"Host Club, gather at once!"
Everyone but Haruhi and Honey gathered near the piano, where Tamaki had taken a dramatic stance by the window, backlit by the setting sun. His cape fluttered slightly even though there was no wind.
"Gentlemen, we are facing a crisis."
"Is this about you getting friendzoned again?" Hikaru asked.
"We are in the presence of a subtle usurper," Tamaki announced. "A wolf in pastel clothing!"
"Is he talking about Honey-senpai?" Kaoru whispered to Kyoya.
Kyoya nodded, flipping a page on his clipboard. "He’s logged seven instances of arm-touching this week. Three cake-sharing moments. One forehead poke."
"A *forehead poke*?!" Tamaki shrieked. "That’s practically foreplay!"
Meanwhile, Honey was sitting on the floor beside Haruhi, watching her re-pack the tea set.
"You’re so neat, Haru-chan. I like watching you clean up," he said dreamily.
"That makes one of us," Haruhi replied, rubbing a smudge off a teacup.
"Senpai, you always say the weirdest things," she added thoughtfully. "But in a cute way, I guess."
Honey beamed.
---
**Elsewhere, in Tamaki’s brain:**
*Haruhi, alone... vulnerable... being seduced with pastries...!*
*What if she’s already holding his hand?! What if they’ve—oh my god—shared a straw?!*
Tamaki clutched his chest. "We must act swiftly. Before it’s too late."
"You mean confess to her?" Hikaru asked.
"Declare your feelings?" Kaoru teased.
"*Of course not!* That would be reckless! No, we must court her properly. Romantically! Elegantly!"
Kyoya adjusted his glasses. "I suggest Operation: Capture Her Heart."
"YES!" Tamaki declared, leaping onto a chair like a Shakespearean hero. "Tomorrow, we begin Phase One: Individual Charm Attacks."
"This is going to be so dumb," Hikaru grinned.
"Can’t wait," Kaoru added.
From the doorway, Mori passed by carrying a tray. He paused, gave them all a long stare, then continued walking.
He already knew.
He always knew.
And he said nothing.
---
As the sun set and the school grew quiet, Haruhi stood outside the music room door, blinking as she realized she left her notebook behind.
She opened the door.
Honey was waiting.
"Took you long enough," he smiled, swinging his legs from the table.
"Senpai? You stayed?"as she walk to him and stop in front of him
"Mmhmm. You forgot this," he said, holding out her notebook. "And also..." He tugged gently on her sleeve so she can now eye level with him and he lean forward to give her a soft kiss on her lips
Haruhi , face heating up slightly. "You know someone might see."
"Let them "
And from the hallway, Tamaki sneezed.
"...Someone's plotting something," he muttered, dramatically blowing his nose into a rose-patterned handkerchief.
---
Chapter 2: Operation: Fail Flirt Begins
Summary:
Tamaki launches “Operation: Capture Her Heart” with the full force of a Shakespearean hero… and immediately regrets it.
The twins try to flirt—badly. Kyoya offers rare tea and gets friend-zoned. Tamaki contemplates sniffing Haruhi’s teacup.
Meanwhile, Honey stays exactly where he always is: beside Haruhi, feeding her pudding and basking in her oblivious affection.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The next day arrived with the energy of a brewing storm. At least, that’s how Tamaki saw it.
He stood at the front of the Third Music Room as though addressing a royal court. His navy blazer flared dramatically behind him as he pointed to a makeshift board that had been hastily set up with marker-drawn hearts and strategy arrows.
“Gentlemen!” he announced. “Today, we begin Phase One: Operation: Capture Her Heart!”
Kyoya, standing nearby with a clipboard and absolutely no intention of participating emotionally, adjusted his glasses. “You’ve changed the name three times this morning.”
“It’s a working title!” Tamaki snapped, then immediately softened. “Our goal is to show Haruhi the full spectrum of romantic possibilities that she has been ignoring.”
“Or not noticing at all,” Kaoru muttered.
“Same thing,” Hikaru whispered back.
Meanwhile, in the background, Honey had already attached himself to Haruhi like a backpack, his arms wrapped loosely around her shoulders as she tried to clean the tea table.
“Haru-chan~ you smell like peach shampoo,” he whispered sweetly.
“I switched brands,” she answered, matter-of-fact. “Senpai, your head is going to fall if you lean that far.”
“I’m comfy~”
Tamaki turned a frightening shade of crimson. “HE’S COMFY?! NO. UNACCEPTABLE. IT BEGINS NOW.”
---
Phase One: The Twins“Jealousy Gambit”
Hikaru and Kaoru were the first to strike. With identical smirks, they cornered Haruhi by the window, boxing her in with casual grace that had half the female guests swooning in the background.
“Hey, Haruhi” Hikaru purred.
“We were wondering,” Kaoru added, eyes gleaming, “if you’ve ever thought about dating one of us.”
Haruhi blinked at them. “You mean, like… a hypothetical question?”
They shared a look.
“Sure. Hypothetical,” Hikaru said.
“Very real hypothetical,” Kaoru added.
“Oh.” Haruhi tilted her head. “Then no. That’d be weird. You guys are kind of like synchronized puppies. It’s hard to imagine you apart.”
Both twins fell dramatically to their knees.
“Rejected in stereo,” Kaoru gasped.
“My heart my poor hypothetical heart!” Hikaru wailed.
In the distance, Tamaki took notes like a sports coach analyzing failed plays. “They went in too fast. Too coordinated. I warned them about twin overkill.”
“Pretty sure you just yelled a lot and drew hearts on a napkin,” Kyoya noted.
Meanwhile, Honey, sitting innocently beside the tea cart, just giggled. “That was silly.”
---
Phase Two: Kyoya’s Tactical Flirtation
“Phase Two is yours,” Tamaki declared with a flourish.
Kyoya didn’t respond. He was already approaching Haruhi with a tray of rare green tea and a smooth expression.
“Haruhi, I procured this blend from a tea farm in Uji. I thought you might like it,” he said, gently placing it in front of her.
Haruhi blinked. “Oh, wow. That’s thoughtful. Did the club pay for it?”
Kyoya paused. “…Of course.”
She sipped it. “It’s really good. Thanks, Kyoya-senpai!”
She smiled at him. A normal, friendly smile. The same one she gave to every female guest
Kyoya returned to his corner in silence.
“Shot down with tea. Brutal,” Kaoru whispered.
---
Honey had long since migrated back to Haruhi’s side and was currently feeding her tiny spoonfuls of custard while she read over her class notes.
“Senpai, I can feed myself, you know.”
“I know,” Honey said cheerfully. “But you make a funny face when the pudding’s too cold.”
“Do not.”
“Do too~”
Haruhi leaned a little closer than usual.
She looked around. No one seemed to be watching.
She leaned in. “You’ve got a custard smear,” she said softly—and pecked Honey quickly on the lips.
Honey blinked, then beamed so wide it could’ve outshone the chandelier
Only Mori saw. And Mori did not speak.
But he nodded once, approvingly.
---
Back to Tamaki: A Man in Crisis
Tamaki stared at the tea set Haruhi had just used. His fingers hovered over the cup.
“Is this…? Could this be… the cup she drank from?”
“Don’t sniff it,” Kyoya warned without looking.
“I wasn’t going to—” Tamaki paused. “Okay, I was. But just once!”
The twins dragged him away.
Notes:
See you next chapter
Chapter 3: Kabedon Calamity and a Jealous Storm
Summary:
The Host Club practices kabedon on Haruhi—for "guest research." Tamaki fails. The twins are rejected. Kyoya backs out mid-glare. Mori silently participates. Honey brings a chair, falls into Haruhi’s arms, and breaks everyone. Tamaki tries the same and ends up in a teacup disaster. Chaos reigns. Haruhi remains clueless.
Chapter Text
It started innocently enough.
Tamaki had been reading romance guides online—again. Specifically, a blog titled “Ten Sizzling Moves to Woo the Girl of Your Dreams.” The number one entry? A bold, dramatic, intimate classic.
Kabedon.
The word echoed in his mind like a thunderclap.
“Gentlemen!” he cried, bursting into the Third Music Room like a man possessed by a shoujo manga. “Today’s host theme will be…” He paused for effect, flipping his cape unnecessarily. “The Five Lucky Guests Kabedon Special~!”
The rest of the club blinked.
“The what?” Haruhi asked, brushing cake crumbs off her vest.
“Ka. Be. Don!” Tamaki emphasized each syllable like it was poetry. “You corner the girl against the wall with one arm—dramatic, passionate, romantic! An iconic move in any love story!”
“Sounds like dramatic leaning,” Kaoru muttered.
“More like wall-based intimidation,” Kyoya added dryly.
Tamaki ignored them. “We’ll each kabedon five lucky guests today as part of their fantasy experience. But of course, we must rehearse. And for that…” His eyes landed on Haruhi with an over-the-top sparkle. “We’ll use our dearest, most trusted club member as our practice model.”
“Me?” Haruhi blinked.
“Who else?”
“Uh… okay, I guess. As long as it's for the guests.”
Tamaki’s eyes sparkled like a broken disco ball. She agreed. SHE AGREED.
---
Practice Session: Take One
Tamaki was up first.
He strode up to Haruhi with practiced grace, hair gleaming in the sunlight, lips pursed in gentle anticipation.
“Prepare yourself,” he whispered.
BAM. One hand slammed beside her on the wall.
Haruhi blinked at him. “Are you okay?”
“I am seducing you,” he said dramatically.
“Right. For the guests. Should I look surprised or excited?”
“YES!” Tamaki declared. “Look… flustered.”
Haruhi tilted her head. “Like this?”
She made a face like she ate sour plums.
Tamaki collapsed against the wall with a long sigh. “It’s like romancing a block of tofu.”
---
Take Two: The Twins
Hikaru and Kaoru insisted on trying together. “We’re doing a Double Kabedon,” they declared, boxing her in with simultaneous slams on either side.
Haruhi frowned. “You’re too close. What if I sneeze?”
“You’re supposed to feel tension,” Kaoru whispered.
“I feel… slightly claustrophobic,” she said sincerely.
They backed off, defeated.
“She's immune to synchronized charm,” Hikaru mumbled.
“Plan B: confuse her emotionally,” Kaoru whispered back.
---
Take Three: Kyoya (The Attempt That Wasn't)
For a moment, everyone turned expectantly to Kyoya.
He sighed.
“Oh, fine.”
He approached Haruhi, one hand raised as if preparing to do the kabedon. He paused mid-air, adjusted his glasses with his signature glare-glint, and stopped.
“No.”
He turned on his heel and walked away.
“Why not?!” Tamaki gasped.
“I’ve suddenly remembered I have dignity,” Kyoya replied coolly.
---
Take Four: Mori senpai Joins the Chat
Mori, who had been stoically watching from the corner with his usual silence, suddenly stepped forward.
Everyone turned.
“Mori senpai… you?” Tamaki blinked.
Mori gave the faintest nod.
He approached Haruhi slowly, towering over her like a majestic, polite wall. Then bam. One hand against the wall. A solid kabedon.
Haruhi looked up at him, eyes blank. “Mori-senpai. Did someone dare you?”
He shook his head slowly.
“Are you... trying to intimidate me?” she asked.
He shook his head again.
“Are you just bored?”
Pause. Slight nod.
Everyone burst out laughing. Even Mori cracked the faintest smirk.
---
Take Five: Honey senpai vs. Gravity
Honey had been watching all this from the sofa while eating strawberry daifuku. He giggled behind his hand. “Haru-chan’s face was funny .”
Then his smile shifted into something a little more mischievous.
“I wanna try.”
Everyone turned to look at him.
Tamaki blinked first and smile afterwards "You’re so… tiny "
Honey’s eyes sparkled. “Exactly why I came prepared.”
He waddled over, dragging a wooden chair behind him like a gladiator entering the arena.
“Senpai,” Haruhi said cautiously, “What are you doing with the"
He hopped onto the chair, now Taller than Haruhi. “Okay, ready~!”
With a big grin, he threw out one arm
BAM! Kabedon!
The whole room gasped
Except the chair wobbled.
“Whoa !” Honey squeaked as the chair tipped sideways. For one horrifying second, it looked like he was about to faceplant onto the tea set.
But Haruhi reacted instantly. She stepped forward and caught him in a full embrace, arms around his back, steadying him gently as his head rested against her shoulder.
Everyone froze.
The moment lingered.
Honey blinked up at her.
“You okay?” Haruhi asked calmly.
“Yeah…” he mumbled, smiling dreamily
Across the room, three hearts shattered in unison.
“She looked at him like a nurse in a war movie,” Hikaru whispered.
“She didn’t even yell at him,” Kaoru added.
Tamaki pointed, howling, “HE’S A MARTIAL ARTIST! He knows how to balance! and lands on his feet! Why is he acting like a delicate princess in Haruhi’s arms?!”
“I don’t know, but it’s working, and I hate it,” Hikaru muttered.
“Same,” Kaoru grumbled.
Mori, who had quietly slid the chair behind Honey earlier to help him up, watched the scene unfold with all the serenity of a zen master. He took a sip of tea, expression unreadable.
But if one looked closely, his shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.
Driven by a deadly cocktail of desperation and ego, Tamaki rose
“I too… can fall!” he declared dramatically.
He dragged the same wooden chair Honey had used and placed it before Haruhi.
“I will perform a kabedon so powerful, it will change her entire worldview.”
“Please don’t—” Kyoya started.
Too late.
Tamaki climbed the chair with wild determination. “Watch, Haruhi. I descend like a god of love!”
He raised one arm and leaned forward.
The chair wobbled.
Then, in glorious slow motion, Tamaki tumbled—not gracefully. Not romantically. He crashed onto a tray of unused teacups, dragging a curtain with him and ending up wrapped in velvet, covered in saucers.
“MY SPINE!”
“MY PRIDE!”
“MY SUIT IS WET WITH TEA!”
Haruhi looked down. “Senpai… you okay?”
He looked up with tears in his eyes. “I died... with no embrace.”
Honey peeked out from behind Haruhi. “That’s because Haru-chan’s arms are already busy"
collective groans and mental breakdowns.
---
“I’m banning chairs,” Tamaki muttered, still wrapped in the curtain like a Victorian ghost.
“It wasn’t the chair that defeated you,” Kyoya replied. “It was gravity and delusion.”
Haruhi, meanwhile, was wiping Honey’s frosting-smudged cheek with a napkin.
“You gotta be careful, Senpai. That chair was too light.”
“I liked falling into your arms,” Honey whisper that the only two of them can hear.
She rolled her eyes but smiled faintly. “You’re hopeless.”
He smiles, adorable smile can make Haruhi heart flutters.
Chapter 4: The Reverse Kabedon Incident
Summary:
All Haruhi wanted was Fancy Tuna. What she got was chair sabotage, dramatic swooning, a surprise hug from Honey, and Kyoya pretending he wasn’t emotionally compromised. Everyone else? Screaming.
Chapter Text
It all started—like every poor decision in the Host Club with Tamaki standing on the table.
“I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN!” he declared, voice echoing across the Third Music Room like a royal decree.
“Denied,” Kyoya replied flatly, already flipping a page on his clipboard.
“You don’t even know what it is yet!” Tamaki clutched his chest.
“If it involves costume changes or psychological damage, we’re not interested,” Kaoru called from behind a teacup tower.
“But this time,” Tamaki grinned, “it involves… Haruhi.”
A collective gasp.
Haruhi, pouring tea calmly in the corner, paused. “me?”
Tamaki struck a dramatic pose. “Today, my lovely daughter will learn… the power of the reverse kabedon!”
“Reverse kabedon?” Haruhi repeated.
“Where you kabedon us!”
She blinked. “Why would I want to do that?”
“For host practice!”
“No.”
“For the fantasy of romance!”
“No.”
“For the aesthetic!”
“No.”
Kaoru suddenly whispered, “Fancy Tuna.”
Haruhi paused.
“…What kind?”
“The kind Kyoya keeps in the safe with the golden lock,” Hikaru added with a grin.
Kyoya sighed. “I knew I should’ve changed the code.”
Haruhi turned slowly. “...Fine.”
“WORTH IT!” Tamaki cheered.
---
Tamaki stood against the wall, eyes fluttering.
“Haruhi, I grant you permission to kabedon me like a true heroine!”
She approached… squinted up… and immediately frowned.
She couldn’t even reach his collar.
“you're tall" she commented
“I have a solution!” Tamaki whipped out a small, suspiciously placed chair.
“Where did you even get that?” she asked.
“I had it prepared for emergencies—like height!”grinning
' so you could fall dramatically into my arms' he thought
Its like Haruhi read his thoughts she said
“No” in an instant.
“Chair rejected"
Instead, she placed her hand awkwardly somewhere around his jacket pocket.
He gasped, already narrating out loud.
“Her hand… so firm… so cold… like a winter breeze caressing the soul of my blazer.”
“Her stare… like judgment day and poetry combined. Is this love? Or am I just nervous because she’s scowling?”
"You know i can hear you"
Tamaki leaned backward as he places his right hand on his temple acting like one of the protagonist on a telenovela.
Haruhi backs away while judging her senpai.
Tamaki wheezed while falling on the ground with a dramatic thud.
---
Hikaru stepped forward first. “Let’s do this!”
Haruhi walked up. Reached his chest. Slapped a hand against it.
“Kabedon.”
He made a dramatic swoon, sliding down the wall.
“I’VE BEEN CONQUERED!”
Kaoru pushed him aside. “My turn!”
She repeated the action.
“AH! SHE’S SO COOL—AND TERRIFYING!”
They both fell to the floor, limbs tangled.
“Is this what true love feels like? It kinda hurts.”
“Pain is temporary, kabedon is forever.”
Haruhi rolled her eyes.
---
Kyoya adjusted his glasses calmly. “I see I’m next.”
Haruhi approached. She stared up. Reached high. Tapped his blazer.
“Kabedon.”
He didn’t react.
Deep inside: “Her hand was warm. Unexpected. A tad firm. Why is my heart rate slightly elevated? Recalibrate, Ootori.”
Hikaru whispered to Kaoru, “He’s totally spiraling in silence.”
Kaoru: “It’s the quiet ones who break.”
----
Mori stood motionless.
Haruhi approached and sighed.
“Senpai, I can’t even find your chin.”
He kneeled slightly.
She placed a flat palm to his upper chest.
“Kabedon.”
Mori nodded.
“Still counts,” he said.
From the sidelines, Tamaki wiped a tear. “So honorable… so stoic… so unreachable…”
---
<
Honey practically skipped into position.
“Me next, Haru-chan! I’m ready!”
She blinked. “You’re… actually the only one I can reach.”
She walked up.
Placed her hand gently beside his head.
“Kab—”
Before she could even finish, Honey squealed.
He launched himself at her, hugging her tightly around the waist like an excited kid
"Haruhi you're so cool!~"
Haruhi blinked. “You didn’t even let me finish!”
“I couldn’t help it i'm like a protagonist on a Shoujo manga!”
And Haruhi cant help flushing
The twins were screeching.
Tamaki was on the floor muttering about why Haruhi's flushing
----
Haruhi sat and waiting for her Fancy Tuna.
Kaoru delivered it on a silver tray, wearing gloves and singing angelic chorus notes.
She opened the lid, took one bite, and closed her eyes.
"It was worth it.”
Chapter 5: Transfer Student, Teacups, and Tender Moments
Summary:
When rumors swirl of a charming new transfer student wooing Haruhi, Tamaki launches into full dramatic panic. Kyoya insists the guy will give up because Haruhi’s too dense—but Tamaki refuses to stand down. The Host Club investigates, but even Honey—usually all smiles—feels a twinge of jealousy. A tea mishap leads to a tender moment between Haruhi and Honey, where words are exchanged, kisses happen, and someone finally admits what they’re afraid to lose. Chaos, drama, secret kisses, and embarrassing declarations await.
Chapter Text
Tamaki slammed his hand on the table.
“This is a CODE BLUE!”
Kyoya didn’t look up. “You made that up.”
“A transfer student dares to charm Haruhi? This is treason!”
Kaoru and Hikaru were already wearing trench coats and sunglasses.
Kaoru whispered, “We already have eyes on him.”
Hikaru slid a file across the table. “Name: Ichijou Ren. Height: 6'1. GPA: above average. Clubless. Dangerous.”
Kyoya raised a brow. “What makes him dangerous?”
“He winked at Haruhi while handing her a worksheet,” Hikaru hissed.
Tamaki clutched his chest and collapsed onto his emergency fainting couch.
“He’s already winking?! That’s LEVEL SIX FLIRTING!”
Kaoru added, “Also, rumor says he carried her book bag once.”
“UNFORGIVABLE.”
Cue dramatic violin music—only in Tamaki’s mind.
Kyoya sighed. “With how dense Haruhi is, he’ll give up in a week.”
Tamaki turned sharply. “Don’t you dare underestimate the power of romantic persistence!”
“She didn’t even notice when you left roses in her locker for three days.”
Tamaki gasped. “/p>
---
Tamaki, the twins, Kyoya, Honey, and Mori were stationed creepily near Class 1-A.
Ichijou Ren walked by like an anime protagonist wind in his hair, girls giggling.
“There he is,” Hikaru whispered. “The threat.”
Tamaki gasped. “He sparkles in natural lighting! He’s a menace!”
and Tamaki turned to the twins with betrayal in his eyes.
“Wait a minute… Why aren’t you two doing anything? You’re supposed to scare off competition!”
Hikaru shrugged. “Can’t.”
Kaoru leaned closer. “His family’s in business with ours. Dad said no terrorizing this one.”
Tamaki gasped. “Business…? You’re letting cold-blooded economics interfere with Haruhi’s love life?!”
Kaoru: “Yup.”
Hikaru: “It pays better.”
“TRAITORS TO THE CROWN!” Tamaki wailed, clutching a nearby plants like it betrayed him too.
Then Haruhi passed by and nodded politely at Ren.
“HE’S INTERACTING! INTERACTION LEVEL: CRITICAL!”
Tamaki lunged forward dramatically but Mori did not stop him this time.
“…Wait, Mori-senpai? Why aren’t you blocking me?”
Mori: “Go.”
Tamaki: “Suspiciously easy…”
Kyoya: “Because it’s pointless.”
Tamaki screamed—and charged onward anyway.
---
Tamaki burst dramatically into Ren’s path.
“ICHIJOU REN!”
Ren blinked. “…Yes?”
“I am Tamaki Suoh, founder and king of the Ouran Host Club. BACK AWAY from Fujioka Haruhi!”
“…I just handed her a worksheet?”
“That’s where it starts!” Tamaki cried. “Worksheets become conversations. Conversations become umbrella moments. And then—weddings in spring!”
Students stared. Some pulled out their phones.
“I think you’ve misunderstood.”Ren said while frowning
"NO! I UNDERSTAND THIS ,STOP WOOING MY DAUGHTER"
Just as Kyoya arrived, grabbed him by the collar, and dragged him away, stopping Tamaki to embarrass himself more.
Ren just stood there, blinking.
---
Back in the Third Music Room, Honey was pouring tea when he overheard guests whispering:
"That Ren guy is SO dreamy. I bet Haruhi will choose him.”
“He’s tall, classy, and always smiles so gently.”one guest added.
Honey’s hand tightened.
What if Haru-chan…?
He poured tea—straight onto his own hand.
“Ah—!”
Gasps. Girls panicked. Haruhi whipped her head around , after seeing what happend she excuse herself to her guests and walk to Honey
“. Let’s treat that Senpai.”
She grabbed his hand and pulled him away.
Guests squealed.
“Haruhi rushed to him like a manga heroine!”
“so serious, taking care of others !”
"I think I love Haruhi more"
Praising of other guest.
Tamaki, Kaoru, Hikaru was about to follow the two to the kitchen but Mori blocks their way.
“KYOOOYAAA!” Tamaki shouts
Kyoya, perfectly calm, continued reviewing the profit margins for the hour.
“They’re in the kitchen where the first aid kit location”
“and were Worried"
(Worried and also jealous)
“Haruhi knows first aid. He has a minor burn. Simple logic.” Kyoya said
“Simple logic doesn’t explain why Haruhi's holding his hand tenderly, Kyoya!”Tamaki overreacting
Kyoya sighed. “Would you prefer Haruhi be careless with his wound? What would our guests think if Haruhi let Honey-senpai get infected?”
Tamaki gasped. “...You're using sanitation as an excuse to ignore the emotional risk!”
Kyoya didn't look up. “Also, we’re at 92% guest capacity. You leaving the main room for your ‘romantic panic attack’ is costing us money. Return to your table.”
“BUT THIS COULD BE THE START OF A SLOWBURN CONFESSION ARC—!”
The twins groaned and dragged him back by the collar.
“We’re not even sure if they like each other.”
“They’ve been friends for ages.”
Behind Mori, his expression unreadable, the only sound was the faint click of his teeth against a hard candy.
--------
Haruhi sat Honey down.
“Let me see your hand.”
Honey pouted. “You don’t have to fuss”
“You’re not just anyone, Mitsukuni.”
She carefully cleaned and wrapped his burn. Her touch lingered.
“You were jealous,” she whispered.
“…Was not.”
“Were too.”
“…Okay, maybe. What if he’s better for you?”
She leaned closer. “No one else makes me feel this safe.”
Honey flushed. “I don’t usually get jealous. I mean, I didn’t say anything when Tamaki tried to write you love poems in glitter pens”
Haruhi: “He what?”
“But this guy… he’s different. He sees you in class. Walks beside you. And I’m just…”
As a women with action and not words she leaned in cupped his cheeks and
kissed him. Slow and Soft ,
He kissed her back, lacing his arms on her neck pulling her close to deepens their shared kiss.
When they broke apart, their foreheads touched.
“…You’re jealous in such a cute way.”
“I AM NOT " he pouts but smile after
"okay, maybe.”
"I love you, Haruhi"
"I love you too,Mitsukuni"
---
Later, Mori stood by the window.
“Senpai?”Haruhi ask
“Don’t hurt him.”
She blinked. “I won’t.”
Mori nodded. “Good.”
Then walked away like nothing happened.
---
Meanwhile…
Tamaki was still writing a fake letter to Haruhi’s “future husband.”
Kyoya updated therapy budget expenses.
The twins made bets.
Honey smiled more than usual.
And Haruhi? Still blissfully, confusingly, wonderfully in love.
Chapter 6: Chocolate, Chaos, and Clues
Summary:
The transferee returns and continues to casually (but suspiciously) charm Haruhi. The twins launch a full spy mission, sending real-time photo reports to Tamaki, who loses his mind. Honey isn’t jealous anymore but blushes every time Haruhi smiles his way. Tamaki almost storms Ren’s class (again), is physically dragged back by Kyoya (again), but manages to corner Ren during break. Only to be caught by Haruhi. And then Haruhi unknowingly feeds Honey chocolate from the transferee’s gift box—in front of everyone. Kyoya starts doing mental math.
Chapter Text
Haruhi casually walked into school that morning, books in hand, slightly groggy.
"Oh, good morning, Ichijou-san," she said as a tall figure approached her by the shoe lockers.
Ren Ichijou smiled warmly. "Good morning, Fujioka. Nice weather today."
Haruhi blinked. "It rained this morning."
"Ah. Still nice. You suit cloudy weather."
"...Okay."Haruhi smiles
Meanwhile, at a suspiciously close bush near the school entrance...
**Hikaru:** "Target has initiated Phase Flirt-One."
**Kaoru:** *click click* "Photos uploaded."
**Hikaru:** "Send to Tamaki."
**Kaoru:** "Already done. With dramatic filter."
**Hikaru:** "Also sent a zoom-in of the alleged eye contact."
**Kaoru:** "And a GIF of the moment he brushed imaginary lint off Haruhi’s sleeve!"
**Hikaru:** "Uploading to the shared folder: OPERATION: BLOCK THE BOOKMARK BOY."
Inside Music Room 3, Tamaki’s phone buzzed violently with new message alerts.
He opened the group chat titled: \[⚠️Haruhi Protection Squad⚠️]
**Image 1:** Ren smiling at Haruhi.
**Image 2:** Haruhi blinking back.
**Image 3:** Ren adjusting her book slightly so it wouldn’t fall.
**Image 4:** Haruhi nodding, unimpressed.
Tamaki’s scream shook the chandelier.
"HE TOUCHED HER *BOOK*!"
Tamaki dramatically flung himself onto the floor.
" HE’S INVADING HER ACADEMIC SPACE!"
He scrambled up, pointing at Kyoya like a mad general. "Mobilize the team. We march at dawn."
Kyoya blinked slowly. "It’s currently 7:45 a.m."
Tamaki wailed. "THEN WE’RE ALREADY LATE!!"
He tried running out of the room, but Kyoya calmly lifted pulled by the collar like a misbehaving cat and he sat back down.
---
By lunch, the Host Club was holding another emergency meeting.
Hikaru set down a mini projector.
Kaoru pulled down a scroll that said: "Suspicious Activity: Day 2."
Tamaki was pacing. "This Ichijou Ren must be stopped. His words are like dangerous poetry!"
**Kaoru:** "He gave Haruhi a box of chocolate."
**Hikaru:** "She accepted it and said thank you."
Tamaki dramatically collapsed into Mori’s arms.
**Tamaki:** "BETRAYAL."
Mori simply held him like this was a normal Tuesday.
Kyoya looked up. "You can't keep interrupting the day because of one polite exchange."
Tamaki glared. "He is wooing her! It is my sworn duty to protect her delicate heart!"
**Kyoya:** "Her heart has more defense stats than your credit card limit."
Honey was sitting quietly, eating cake. At the mention of the chocolate, he paused—then blushed. Haruhi liked chocolate.
He thought of the Assurance and the kiss she gave him last week.
And kept eating. But Mori noticed his ears turning pink.
Kyoya tapped his pen on the clipboard.
"For the record," he muttered, "I did background research on Ichijou to find any shady but it turns out his record are clean.
"So he's perfect?" Tamaki gasped.
"So far," Kyoya said coolly. "But I'm watching."
He pushed up his glasses.
---
Tamaki: "We must observe him during break! All Host Club members present!"
**Kyoya:** "You called another meeting?"
**Kaoru:** "Yes."
**Hikaru:** "We brought snacks."
**Mori:** (enters with rice crackers and a suspiciously large thermos of tea) after the meeting they gathered to the hallway outside Class 1-A, just in time to see Ren offering Haruhi another smile as he passed by. This time, he had a handmade bookmark.
**Tamaki:** "HE'S CRAFTY!"
Kyoya sighed. "Please don't tackle him."
Tamaki's eyes blazed. "I make no promises.
And after one minute
Tamaki couldn’t hold it in anymore.
**Tamaki:** "I’M GOING IN."
**Kyoya:** "No, you’re not."
**Tamaki:** "THEY COULD BE PLANNING AN AFTER-SCHOOL DATE."
**Kyoya:** "They’re planning to read Chapter 4 of the chemistry book."
**Tamaki:** "AND THEN MARRY?!"
He charged down the hallway.
**Kaoru:** "He’s doing it again."
**Hikaru:** "We timed it. Thirty seconds longer than last time."
Mori made no move to stop him this time.
Tamaki reached Ren. "YOU!"
Ren blinked. "...Me?"
Tamaki dramatically pointed. "YOU MAY THINK YOU’RE SMOOTH WITH YOUR BOOKMARKS AND CHOCOLATES, BUT FUJIOKA HARUHI IS OFF-LIMITS."
Ren: "Wait, are you threatening me?"
Haruhi appeared from nowhere. "Senpai? What are you doing here?"
**Tamaki internally:** *Abort mission! She looks confused!*
Ren opened his mouth to tattle, but before he could utter a word—
**STOMP.** Tamaki stepped on his foot.
Ren: "Ow—! I mean, we were just talking about the vending machine! Yes! Bookmarks for vending machines!"
Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "...Right."
Tamaki did a weird jazz hand gesture and retreated.
And with that Haruhi see Honey on their Hiding spot
"Honey Senpai" Honey blink at her
and she headed to his way and after that she opens her bag. "I still have the chocolates Ichijou gave me earlier. Want some?"
She pulled out the box, opened it, and without hesitation, turned to Honey again.
"Here. Say 'ah\~'"
Honey blinked again and flustered. "Ah?"
She popped the chocolate in his mouth with a smile.
The hallway froze.
**Kyoya looked up from his notebook.**
**The twins blinked in slow motion.**
**Tamaki's jaw dropped.**
Honey, chewing while flushing
Haruhi just said, "You like sweet things, right?"
Honey nodded.
Then Haruhi leaned down, as if about to kiss him.
Honey Gasp from her boldness.
The entire hallway held its breath.
But just before her lips met his she blinked, realizing the very public setting.
Instead, she quickly reached out and gently wiped the corner of his mouth.
"You had a bit of chocolate," she said, pretending nothing had happened.
"Ugh I think my contacts are acting up," she added quickly, looking away. "Everything’s a little blurry. Might need to change them soon."
But inside, her thoughts raced:
*I almost kissed him. In public. In front of everyone. What was I thinking?!*
*Get it together, Haruhi. You’re in the middle of the hallway, not in some shoujo manga panel!*
*He’s just so cute—too cute—it’s dangerous. I almost forgot where we were… and I almost didn’t care.*
Honey’s eyes widened slightly, then softened.
He blushed and murmured, "Thank you... Haru-chan."
Kyoya, observing from afar, frowned. *That was not nothing. Something’s definitely going on here.*
Tamaki let out a dramatic gasp. "SHE WIPED HIS LIPS?!"
---
Later that afternoon, Kyoya sat in the music room, reviewing the day's photos and footage on his tablet.
Swipe.
Zoom.
Enhance.
He paused on the moment Haruhi leaned toward Honey. The subtle eye contact. The softness of their smiles. The timing. Too precise to be random.
He flipped to another file labeled: **Club Patterns → Anomalies → Unusual Proximity.**
"They’ve been sitting closer," he murmured.
Click. Next photo: Haruhi feeding Honey cake two days ago.
Click. Next: Honey gently patting Haruhi’s head when he thought no one was watching.
Click. Haruhi smiling at him in a way she didn’t smile at anyone else.
Kyoya pushed up his glasses.
"Interesting," he muttered. Then typed a single line into a new document:
**Hypothesis: Secret Relationship. Ongoing observation required.**
And with that, he closed the tablet, leaned back, and smirked to himself.
---
Chapter 7: Secret Footage and Stolen Kisses
Summary:
Kyoya’s investigation enters Phase 2 as he allows a particularly clingy guest to get very close to Honey all in the name of profit. Haruhi tries to stay cool. She really tries. But as boundaries get crossed and teddy bear treatment escalates, so does her internal chaos. Behind closed doors, Haruhi lets jealousy take the wheel without realizing Kyoya has planted a secret camera. The result? Kisses, bite marks, and one analyst spitting out his tea in disbelief.
Chapter Text
Kyoya stood at his usual post, coolly typing into his tablet.
> Investigation Log – Phase 2.
Target: Honey-senpai
Variable Introduced: VIP Guest – Miss Ayame
Note: High-paying guest. Overly affectionate. Let’s observe.
He looked up just in time to see Miss Ayame practically dragging Honey toward the couch.
“Sit here, Mitsukuni-senpai~!” she purred, batting her lashes like an anime heroine on fast-forward.
Honey blinked, confused, clutching Usa-chan like a shield. “U-Um… okay?”
No sooner had he sat down than Ayame scooted in beside him like she was claiming territory. She whipped out a forkful of cake so fast it practically whistled through the air.
“Say ‘aah~’!” she cooed.
“I I can feed myself ”
“Too late~!”
SPLAT.
The fork missed his mouth. There was frosting on his nose.
Ayame giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world. “Oops! Let me get that ”
She leaned in and wiped it off with her thumb.
Then mwah! kissed his cheek.
From across the room, Haruhi’s hand froze mid pour. Tea overflowed and started soaking into the saucer.
Kaoru immediately ducked behind a vase. “She’s frozen.”
Hikaru stared in awe. “Like a deer in headlights.”
Tamaki gasped, clutching his heart. “MY DAUGHTER’S VIRGIN EYES HAVE BEEN TAINTED! ” he pointed his pointing finger to Ayame's location.
"YOU TWO! WILL YOU GET A ROOM YOU BOTH RUINING MY DAUGHTER INNOCENCE"
"I'm sorry, its just I can't help my self because Mitsukuni senpai is so adorable" smiling sweetly.
Honey look at Haruhi on a concerned manner
Haruhi blinked. “I’m fine.”
She wasn’t.
“Oh my God she’s blinking out of sync,” Kaoru whispered.
“Abort mission, she's going to snap,” Hikaru muttered.
“She’s smiling but the energy is OFF,” Tamaki whimpered, hiding behind Kyoya’s tablet.
Ayame continued her mission of snuggly destruction. “Your hair’s so fluffy, senpai~! Like cotton candy! I wanna braid it!”
She started twirling Honey’s hair around her finger like she owned him.
“W-What’s happening?” Honey squeaked.
“She’s bonding,” Mori said flatly.
Kyoya looked at the chart on his tablet.
> Guest’s spending = quadruple daily average.
Host under duress: mild.
Haruhi’s energy = ticking bomb.
Permission to escalate: Approved.
---
She told herself it was fine.
She trusted Honey.
She gave him assurance first.
But Ayame was now treating him like a living teddy bear literally pulling him onto her lap like a plush toy. Haruhi’s eye twitched.
“She’s very… enthusiastic,” Mori muttered.
“You don’t say,” Haruhi grumbled, cracking a plate in half by accident.
The twins exchanged glances.
“She’s spiraling.”
“She’s snapping.”
“She’s dangerous when quiet.”
Tamaki burst into tears. “WHO IS CORRUPTING MY SWEET DAUGHTER’S SANITY?!”
“...Kyoya,” said everyone.
Kyoya didn’t even blink. “Do I look like I care?”
“You look like you’re planning world domination,” Tamaki sniffled.
“I am.”
------
After the club hours , Honey is tasks to arrange the tea sets on the storage room and Haruhi follows him
And Mori attempted to follow.
“I got this,” Haruhi said with a terrifyingly calm smile.
Mori backed away slowly.
Kyoya raised a brow and tapped a few things into his laptop.
> Activating: Secret Cam #12.
Location: Storage Room, upper shelf. Angle: Optimal.
Honey was quietly arranging the tea set when he heard the distinct click of the door lock.
He turned around slowly.
“H-Haruhi?” he asked, blinking in confusion.
She stood there with an unreadable expression, her back pressed lightly against the door, eyes narrowed in quiet focus. Something in the air shifted.
“Haru-chan?” he tried again, but her silence only made his heart race faster.
Then, with calm and purpose, Haruhi walked toward him. Each step was deliberate. Measured. Her gaze never left his.
He took a tiny step back, bumping the edge of the table. His hand flinched near the delicate teacups.
Her eyes flicked to the tea set. For a second, he thought she would say something.
Instead, her hands snaked around his waist.
“E-Eh”
In one swift motion, Haruhi lifted and swooped him away from the fragile table like a determined whirlwind. Honey found himself gently spun toward the other side of the room, landing near a wall out of reach of anything breakable.
“W-What’s going on?” he stammered, flushed and caught off guard.
She didn’t reply.
She grabbed the collar of his uniform, tugging him upward with assertive strength his feet nearly left the floor and then she kissed him.
Not a soft peck.
Not a fluttery kiss.
It was deep, intense, and impossibly bold. Her lips parted slightly as she pressed forward, tilting her head, her hand now cradling the back of his head to keep him close. Her other arm remained laced around his waist, anchoring him.
Honey’s eyes widened in shock.
She kissed him like she needed to. Like he belonged to her. Like the past few hours of bottled jealousy had finally ignited into pure, unfiltered feeling.
He let out a surprised sound, muffled by her lips his body slowly melting into the kiss as his hands lifted to hold her shoulders, gripping gently as if to keep himself grounded.
His knees nearly gave out.
When she pulled back, his eyes were glassy and stunned, his cheeks hotter than boiling tea.
She didn’t give him time to speak.
“Cover your mouth,” Haruhi whispered.
“W-What?” he blinked, dazed. “Why?”
“Just do it.”
He hesitated, then obeyed cupping his mouth with both hands like a kid caught sneaking cake.
In one sharp, decisive movement, Haruhi leaned forward and bit the side of his neck.
“Mmmmph !!” Honey squealed into his palms, his back arching slightly.
The sensation pulsed through his skin like an electric jolt, followed by a wave of giddy dizziness. Haruhi pulled back slowly, lips brushing over the mark she'd left as her breath lingered against his skin.
She smoothed down his collar and glanced at the small red mark with satisfaction.
“youre . Mine,” she said flatly, cheeks tinged pink despite her calm voice.
Honey blinked several times, swaying a little. “W-Where did you learn how to do that?!”
Haruhi looked to the side. “TV. Research purposes.”
“W-Was it one of those romance dramas again?”
“...Possibly.”
“I think I love you even more.”Honey saying like a love drunk idiot.
“Shut up.”haruhi hiss
She hugged him anyway, hiding her face in his shoulder.
------
Meanwhile, outside the storage room, Haruhi walked ahead briskly with her head down.
While saying "I gotta go, Papa called me .. Its urgent"
Without waiting for them to reply she just walk with speed going out the club room.
Her inner monologue screamed in spirals of shame.
The cool breeze outside the school grounds swept against Haruhi’s face, but it did little to soothe the storm brewing inside her.
She walked without direction, cheeks still burning, fingers trembling at her sides. The moment she found an empty bench near the wall, she sat down heavily, burying her face in her hands.
“Why did I bite him?! What was I thinking?!”
Her voice came out in a muffled groan against her palms. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, eyes wide with disbelief at her own behavior.
“No. No, no, no. That wasn’t me. That was the jealousy. Totally the jealousy.”
She tugged on her bangs in frustration.
“I mean, how dare that Ayame girl get that close?! Pulling him into her lap like he’s a plush toy unforgivable.”
Her voice dropped to a mutter.
“But still… biting? Seriously, Haruhi?!”
She let out a strangled whimper.
“And I told him not to get jealous. Look at me now I'm the one who spiraled into some weird romance TV drama fantasy!”
She slapped her cheeks lightly.
“It’s the drama’s fault. It’s all that show’s fault. Midnight Lovebite?! What kind of ridiculous name is that?!”
She covered her eyes again.
“Why didn’t I just give him a normal kiss? Why the whole ‘cover your lips’ command like I was about to cast a spell?!”
She sat up straight and declared to the empty sky:
“I’M NEVER WATCHING TV AGAIN.”
But her voice cracked halfway, and the horror of it all rushed back into her chest.
“I can’t believe I pinned him against the door, swooped him across the room, kissed him like that, and then bit him! What’s wrong with me?!”
She groaned loudly and curled into herself.
“That’s it. I’m never showing my face in the Host Club again. I’m transferring to Antarctica. I’ll live with the penguins. They won’t judge me.”
“Penguins?”
Haruhi jolted at the soft voice behind her.
Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around her from behind, and the weight of someone small and familiar leaned against her back. She stiffened.
“H-Honey-senpai?!”
She tried to stand, but she lost her balance from the surprise hug and nearly toppled forward. Luckily, the boy behind her caught her again.
“Easy there, Haru-chan~” he giggled sweetly, tightening his hold around her waist from behind. “You almost took a tumble.”
She squirmed in place, cheeks aflame. “How long have you been standing there?!”
He leaned closer to her ear.
“Long enough to hear about penguins.”
Haruhi groaned again. “Kill me.”
Honey chuckled softly and let her turn around to face him. He crouched in front of her on the bench, still holding her hands.
“You were really cute back there, you know?” he said with a fond smile.
Haruhi covered her face. “I lost control.”
Honey shook his head. “It’s okay to be jealous sometimes. Everyone gets jealous.”
“But I was the one who told you not to be jealous,” Haruhi groaned. “And now I’m the one out here biting people like a… like a rabid dog!”
Honey grinned wider, his cheeks tinted pink. “A really rabid dog.”
“Stop.”
“You were so cool, though! You even swooped me away from the tea set like a knight saving her prince!”
“Stop!”
“And the kiss
”
“STOP!!” she wailed, hiding her face again.
Honey just laughed and scooted closer, wrapping her in a full hug.
“Well… if it helps…” he whispered, “I liked it.”
Haruhi peeked at him through her fingers.
He smiled gently. “So… do you wanna balance it out?”
“…Balance?”
He tilted his head, revealing the other side of his neck.
“You bit the left. What about the right?”
Haruhi stared at him, mortified.
“You want another one?!”
He giggled. “It’s for symmetry!”
Haruhi stood up abruptly, flustered. “Absolutely not! Go back to the club, Mitsukuni!”
Honey stood up too, still laughing, chasing after her steps.
“C’mon, Haru-chan! You can’t leave me uneven!!”
Behind them, a few passing students stared in confusion at the sight of their normally stoic upperclassman running after Haruhi like an excited puppy.
-----
Later that night, Kyoya sat alone in his private study, the faint glow of his laptop illuminating the glint of his glasses.
He sipped calmly from a fine porcelain teacup, reviewing Host Club performance logs and camera footage like usual until he clicked on the latest file labeled:
He expected nothing. Maybe a small lovers’ quarrel. A shy glance. A hand-hold. Something mild.
What he got instead was…
“Wait what is she”
Kyoya leaned in as the camera played.
Haruhi closed the door. Locked it.
She began approaching Honey with quiet, predatory focus.
Then she swooped him across the room.
Grabbed his collar.
And kissed him.
Deeply.
Kyoya blinked. “...Eh?”
And then she told him to cover his mouth.
Kyoya: “...Excuse me”
BITE.
"MMMMph !” Honey’s muffled yelp echoed from the speaker.
PFFFFT !!!
Kyoya exploded.
Hot tea burst from his mouth and nose, splashing onto his desk. He choked violently, coughing as he dropped his teacup, which shattered on the floor.
“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL?!”
His glasses slid halfway down his nose as he lunged to pause the video.
Still wheezing, he frantically closed the laptop lid with trembling hands, eyes wide in disbelief. A bead of sweat trickled down his temple.
He leaned back slowly in his chair, one hand over his face.
“What are those two even doing behind close doors"
Chapter 8: Feverish Confessions and Clubroom Chaos
Summary:
A feverish Honey, a visiting transferee, and a host club spiraling into dramatics leads to one of the most chaotic afternoons yet. Haruhi’s quiet protectiveness meets the explosive antics of her clubmateswith Mori silently observing and Kyoya updating his notes while sipping tea like nothing is strange.
Chapter Text
The next day, Ren—the persistent transferee—strolled into the Host Club with flowers, chocolates, and unearned confidence.
“Excuse me,” he smiled to Haruhi. “May I request your time again, Fujioka-san?”
Before Haruhi could answer—
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AGAIN?!”
Tamaki leapt over the couch dramatically, crashing into a flower vase.
“WE’RE FULL TODAY! UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE CLOSED! GOODBYE!”
Kaoru and Hikaru flanked him like bodyguards.
“This way, Ren,” Hikaru said, ominously calm.
“Time to tour the hallway!” Kaoru smiled, too wide.
“Guys,” Haruhi said flatly, “he’s a guest.”
Ren blinked. “I just came to say hi…”
Behind her, Honey was casually latched onto Haruhi like a living backpack. Arms over her shoulders, cheek resting on her head.
Ren tilted his head. “You two seem close… you even fed him sweets the other day.”
“No, we’re not,” Honey said quickly, sweat forming at his temple.
Haruhi sighed and started patting his head. “He has a fever.”
“You shouldn’t be here if you’re sick!” Tamaki cried, panicking. “You’ll infect my daughter!”
“He said he was cold,” Haruhi said dryly. “He needed heat.”
Tamaki short-circuited. “W WHAT KIND OF HEAT?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”
Kyoya scribbled notes.
> Obvious flirting detected. Profit remains stable.
Mori simply smiled, sipping his tea.
---
Ren shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Haruhi served him tea with Honey fully sprawled across her lap like an exhausted cat.
“Shouldn’t you go to the clinic?” Ren asked.
“I’m fine,” Honey muttered. “Haruhi’s lap is better.”
“Haruhi… is this normal?”
“Yes,” she replied. “Please drink your tea.”
Kyoya zoomed his camera discreetly.
> Evidence of lap-dependence confirmed.
Tamaki screeched again. “He’s HIBERNATING ON HER!”
The twins joined in, wailing.
“DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A CLINIC?!”
“DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A NAP STATION?!”
Mori took the moment to block Tamaki’s incoming dive.
“No,” he said flatly.
“TRAITOR!” Tamaki wailed from the floor.
---
After the club wrapped up for the day, Haruhi gently helped Honey sit up.
“Feeling better?” she asked.
“A little…” he leaned up to her ear.
“You know,” he whispered, “if you bit the other side of my neck too, I probably wouldn’t have caught a cold.”
Haruhi’s soul left her body as
Her entire face exploded in red.
“W-What?!” she squeaked, trying to shove him off her lap.
But just then, Tamaki, Kaoru, and Hikaru peeked back inside right on time to catch Haruhi’s flustered expression and her trying to cool herself with her hand.
"She’s red!" Tamaki panicked.
“Is that a fever?” Kaoru gasped.
“She caught it from Mitsukuni!” Hikaru concluded.
“NO!” Haruhi tried to protest.
But it was too late. Tamaki had already dashed to Honey.
“Mitsukuni! Step away from my daughter! YOU’VE INFECTED HER!”
“Uh”
“DON’T TOUCH HER YOU GERMY CINNAMON ROLL!”
“I’m fine” Haruhi tried again.
“Too late!” Tamaki cried dramatically.
Meanwhile, Honey blinked, then sighed dramatically with mock exhaustion. “Mori-chan,” he said, raising his arms.
Understanding the assignment, Mori appeared like a shadow and lifted Honey bridal-style stoic as ever.
“I’ll take him away before he spreads more fever,” Mori said seriously.
Tamaki dramatically cried, “MY POOR SWEET DAUGHTER! GET WELL SOON!”
As Mori carried Honey away, Kyoya calmly typed into his notes with a faint smirk.
> Observation: The fever is metaphorical. And caused by neck bites. Additional Note: Tamaki is a moron.
Chapter 9: The Return of the Fever (and the Idiots Who Love Her)
Summary:
When Haruhi catches a fever from a rainy misadventure with Tamaki, the Host Club goes into full panic mode. Tamaki, the twins, and even Kyoya (somewhat) react with chaotic levels of concern while Honey plays it cool... too cool. Until Mori explains what’s really going on inside that feverish bunny brain. Meanwhile, Ranka decides to have a little fun with the boys.
Chapter Text
It started with a drizzle. Then it became a full-blown downpour.
Tamaki, of course, thought it was the perfect time to recreate a romantic movie scene. He spun Haruhi around in the rain with a “Trust me, this is peak cinema!” moment.
Haruhi: “Tamaki-senpai, I think I stepped in something”
Splash.
She landed straight into a puddle.
The next morning, she was out of commission with a fever.
“She’s absent?!” Tamaki gasped, nearly throwing his cup of tea in shock.
“It’s a cold,” Kyoya said, not even looking up from his laptop.
“A dangerous cold!” Tamaki wailed, now pressing himself against the Host Club window as if waiting for her ghost to appear in the rain.
“It’s a flu,” Kyoya clarified.
“She’s probably shivering in bed whispering my name,” Tamaki added dramatically, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
The twins did not help.
Hikaru: “Maybe she wrote about it in a diary…”
Kaoru: “A diary where she longs for her senpai’s comforting embrace..."
Tamaki gasped. “We must go to her!”
“No,” Kyoya said instantly.
“But!”
“I already sent a private doctor. You’ll visit on the weekend. She needs rest. Not your operatic reenactment of The Suffering of Haruhi-chan.”
Tamaki collapsed on the couch.
“Do you want me to print tissues with your name on them?” Kyoya asked.
“…Yes, please.”
Meanwhile, Honey calmly poured tea at his station, smiling at guests. Ayame, ever glued to his side, tried to hand-feed him cookies. He politely declined, again.
Kyoya squinted.
“Why isn’t he reacting?” he muttered, scribbling something on his clipboard.
Just then, Mori passed behind him.
“Mitsukuni’s acting normal,” Kyoya said, “which is suspicious.”
Mori replied, “He already visited Haruhi this morning. Right after he found out she was sick.”
Kyoya blinked. “Wait. What?”
Mori nodded. “He got permission from Ranka san”
Kyoya paused, processing.
“…That explains the calm and they are not hiding it with Haruhi's parents"
He wrote down ‘Visited Haruhi early. Unusually composed. Undercover boyfriend activity suspected.’
---
Saturday morning.
Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru raced toward Haruhi’s apartment building like they were auditioning for a boy band with a fever-cure mission.
Tamaki: “Gentlemen, this is our chance to make a good impression on her father!”
Kaoru: “I brought warm milk.”
Hikaru: “I brought fuzzy socks.”
Tamaki: “I brought store-bought soup that I poured into a thermos so it looks homemade.”
They reached the front steps and froze.
Ranka Fujioka stood casually outside, sipping milk tea with a soft pink scarf around his neck.
“Gentlemen,” he said sweetly.
“Good morning, sir!” Tamaki bowed deeply. “We’re here to offer our care, support, and emotional stability to your precious daughter!”
Ranka blinked.
Kaoru added, “We’ve been preparing a wellness kit”
Hikaru held up a fuzzy plush cat. “And emotional support mascot.”
Ranka, sipping again: “Which one’s the dumbest?”
He looked from one dramatic teenage boy to the next.
“…Oh no. It’s a tie.”
He smiled. “Anyway, the little marshmallow beat you here. Mitsukuni’s already upstairs.”
The trio screamed in betrayal.
“HE WHAT?!”
They bolted up the stairs.
---
They burst into the apartment door.
“HARUHI!”
There she was, standing by the couch, sweater around her shoulders, holding a glass of water. Slightly pale, but definitely better.
“Hi,” she said flatly. “I’m alive. No need to cry at my funeral.”
Tamaki ran toward her. “Let me check your forehead”
WHAM.
He was body slammed into the wall by Ranka. “NO TOUCHING.”
“I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE SWEET”
“Boundaries, Tamaki. Or do I need to hand you a manual?”
Meanwhile, bundled in blankets on the sofa, a familiar small figure lay limp and fainted, cheeks flushed pink.
“…Is that—” Kaoru pointed.
“Honey-senpai?” Hikaru leaned forward.
Haruhi looked at the boys. “I think his fever came back again and He fainted.”
“AGAIN?!”
“He said he was fine, then five minutes later he's burning, he collapsed.”
“...Like, from seeing you?”
“I gave him medicine. Don't wory.”
Kyoya narrowed his eyes. “Hm.” as his instinct tickling that maybe its another way around.
Chapter 10: Maid and Butler Day Mayhem
Summary:
Tamaki proposes a "Maid and Butler Day," hoping to see Haruhi in a maid outfit but she refuses. The twins redirect the idea onto Honey, who ends up in full maid attire (complete with cat ears) while everyone else wears butler uniforms.
During a break, Haruhi finds a sulking Honey and, unable to resist, kisses him impulsively on the lips several times. They return separately, but Mori secretly witnesses it all.
Later, during a group photo, Honey boldly sits on Haruhi’s lap. Chaos breaks out when Haruhi casually suggests carrying him bridal-style for the next picture leaving everyone stunned.
Chapter Text
It started, as many ridiculous things in the Host Club do, with a dramatic announcement from none other than Tamaki Suoh.
"Today!" he declared, standing proudly on top of the center table in Music Room 3, his arms wide like he was about to take flight. "We shall fulfill a divine vision I received last night in a dream!"
Kyoya didn’t even look up from his clipboard. "This again?"
"A dream so majestic," Tamaki continued, undeterred, "that it would be a crime not to act upon it immediately! I present to you... the Maid and Butler Day!"
Kaoru and Hikaru blinked in sync. "That’s... a normal theme, isn’t it?"
"But not when Haruhi is the maid!" Tamaki said, hearts practically floating around his head.
At the sound of her name, Haruhi looked up from wiping the tea set. "Absolutely not."
Tamaki’s eyes sparkled. "It’ll be adorable! Precious! The guests will weep tears of joy"
"They think I’m a guy," Haruhi cut him off. "It’s kind of crucial to the whole Host Club illusion."
Kyoya, still scribbling in his notebook, nodded. "She has a point."
Tamaki gasped, betrayed. "Kyoya!"
"Also," Haruhi added, glancing at the group, "maid outfits are impractical."
At that moment, Kaoru nudged Hikaru, who smirked. They both turned to glance at Honey senpai, who was quietly munching on a strawberry cake.
And blushing.
Yes, the mere idea of Haruhi in a maid outfit had left Honey red-faced, though he tried very hard to hide it behind Usa chan.
Then, like sharks smelling blood, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki regrouped.
“Did you see how close they were?” Kaoru whispered.
“She wiped frosting off his cheek, everyday,” Hikaru said.
“And he clung to her like a koala, as usual,” Tamaki growled.
They exchanged a wicked look.
“Revenge,” said Kaoru.
“But tasteful,” added Hikaru.
“Elegant revenge,” Tamaki corrected.
“Let’s make Honey wear the maid outfit.”
They approached Kyoya like a trio of criminals asking a judge for permission to prank.
Surprisingly, Kyoya agreed.
"For research purposes," he said smoothly.
And so it was decided. When the grand dress up commenced, all members except one emerged in sharp butler outfits.
And then came Honey.
Decked out in the fluffiest, laciest maid outfit ever tailored. Black and white, complete with a frilly apron.
Honey froze mid step.
“WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE IN THIS?!” he shouted, hands clenched in fury.
“You look adorable, though,” Kaoru teased.
“Don’t be mad~” Hikaru chimed.
“CUTENESS OVERLOAD!” Tamaki declared, almost nosebleeding.
“I WILL DESTROY YOU!” Honey yelled, but it was hard to take him seriously with cat socks and lacey wrist cuffs.
He stomped (adorably) over to Mori. "Mori! Say something! Defend me!"
Mori simply... took a picture.
"Moooriii!!"
Next stop: Kyoya.
"This is character research," Kyoya said coolly without even glancing up.
Honey pouted harder. "You’re all mean!"
Finally, defeated, he trudged over to Haruhi, arms drooping.
“Haruhi… they… they betrayed me…”
Haruhi looked up from the guest log and blinked at him.
“…Hold still.” She placed a cute black hairband with tiny cat ears on his head.
Click.
“…You, too?!”
“You’re cute,” she said with a small smile.
“I’m surrounded by monsters,” he mumbled.
---+
When the guests arrived, however, Honey found himself overwhelmed.
"So cute!"
"Can I get a picture with the maid?"
"He’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!"
Honey pouted. Again. Again. And again.
He loved cute things. But he hated being the cute thing especially when the outfit was this frilly.
Eventually, with cheeks puffed like marshmallows, he asked for a break.
Haruhi watched him leave, frowning slightly.
He’s pouting a lot today, she thought. Why do I find it even more adorable now? It’s not like I didn’t see him pout before... Is it the maid outfit?
Curious, she slipped into stealth mode and followed him silently, carefully into the storage room.
What she didn’t know was that Kyoya, ever suspicious, had switched on Secret Camera 12, and Mori had silently stationed himself just outside the door.
Inside, Honey sighed as he sat on a crate.
"Why are you here, traitor?" he asked without looking.
Haruhi chuckled. "You’re adorable in that maid outfit. I’m sorry."
Honey pouted harder. "You’re all unfair... why am I the only one in a maid outfit? I hate this. I hate these frills! This lace! This this... cute thing!"
Haruhi gritted her teeth.
"Don’t pout," she warned.
Pout.
"Stop it."
"I’m gonna keep pouting until someone listens to me!”
Pooooout.
Snap. Haruhi lost it. She cupped his cheeks, leaned in, and gave him a Seven playful, aggressive smooches right on the lips short, quick smacks driven by overwhelming fondness.
"You’re just too irresistible when you pout," she whispered.
Honey blinked up at her, cheeks flushed
Then he smirked. “I’m still mad.”
Another pout.
"You’re doing that on purpose now," Haruhi muttered.
She pinched his cheeks. One last kiss right on the lips again.
He giggled. “Okay, a little less mad.”
“Good,” Haruhi said, straightening his hairband.
Outside, Mori blinked slowly as he heard the faint sounds of smacks inside the storage room. He sighed and prepared himself.
Haruhi exited first, trying to act normal only to freeze when she saw Mori standing outside like a silent guardian.
He nodded once.
"Mori Senpai "and with embarrassment then
She bolted back to her table.
Moments later, Honey walked out, radiating sunshine, no longer protesting.
Mori pinched his cheek. “Better now?”
Honey nodded and Mori carried him bridal style and deposit him back to his post.
The rest of the day went smoothly... until Tamaki made another announcement.
"For memories! A photo of all of us in costume! Renge, will you take the picture?"
Renge was already standing by with the camera. "Gladly."
Because they knew Haruhi was actually a girl, they made her sit in the middle. The others stood behind.
Just as Renge was about to click
Plop. Honey suddenly sat on Haruhi’s lap.
Her arms instinctively wrapped around his waist.
The picture was taken.
The aftermath?
Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki all: "WAIT. WHAT?!"
And Honey released himself to Haruhi grinning.
“And now for a fun one!” Renge chimed. “Do something silly!”
Haruhi stood up. Honey blinked.
And then
She bridal carried him.
“Say cheese.”
Click.
Tamaki: "W-WHY IS HE IN A BRIDAL CARRY?!"
Haruhi: "Because he’s in a maid outfit. It fits the theme."
The trio lost it.
At night, Kyoya simply smiled darkly to himself, flipping through the camera feed.
"Interesting," he muttered. "As all the evidences i conclude that Haruhi is the Dominant one in their relationship ..."
----
Chapter 11: THE CAKE THAT TRIED TO KILL A PRINCE
Summary:
Haruhi, determined to surprise Honey with a cake before his birthday, sneaks into the kitchen of her apartment with full confidence.
Notes:
Thank you for liking and loving this Fic..
Chapter Text
It all began with a bowl, a dream, and a complete lack of baking experience.
Haruhi stood in the kitchen of their tiny apartment, sleeves rolled up, hair tied messily, and eyes full of sheer determination. A day before Honey-senpai's birthday. The actual day? Off limits. She already knew Tamaki would be throwing a party so massive it would make the Olympics look like a tea party.
So today, she would give him a quiet moment. A personal cake. Just the two of them.
Simple. Sweet. Harmless.
"I can do this," she whispered to the eggs. They did not respond. Which was comforting.
She began whisking with passion too much passion flour flying into her eyes and a suspicious amount of sugar dumping into the bowl like a sweet avalanche.
As the batter came together (or at least formed something with the texture of melted memory foam), her mind wandered.
Flashback.
Honey's excited voice. His sparkly eyes. Like a kid waiting for Santa.
"I want a cake from you, Haru chan! A cake made with lots of love!!"
Her heart melted. Her smile grew.
Then
Betrayal. From her own brain.
A scene from that cursed romance drama she watched last week flashed in vivid HD.
The female lead. In a cake costume. Sexy. Ridiculous. Offering a birthday cake while on top of the table. Mouth to mouth feeding. Slow motion frosting kisses.
Haruhi screamed internally.
Her face turned bright red.
"NO!" she yelled, slamming the spatula down. "Why did I think of THAT?!"
In panic, she headbutted the wall.
Then again. And again.
"NO! Get out of my head! That’s not me! I am NOT dressing up as a strawberry shortcake seductress!"
And just when she was ready to go for round four against the wall
Two hands caught her head.
Papa Ranka.
His expression was somewhere between confused and deeply concerned.
"Haruhi... is baking a cake making you lose your mind?"
She looked at him. Her soul half-escaped. Her dignity in the drain.
"I’m not watching TV anymore. Ever again."
Papa Ranka patted her on the shoulder, and exited with flair.
The cake finally went into the oven.
What came out looked... cursed.
Haruhi stared at it in silence.
It sagged in the middle like it was suffering from existential dread. The frosting looked like it had tried to climb off the sides but gave up halfway. There was one spot that looked like a crater.
She leaned forward.
"...Did I summon something?"
The cake twitched. (Or maybe the light flickered. She couldn't tell.)
"No," she said, steeling herself. "I can't give this to Honey senpai. He deserves better. He deserves edible."
She picked it up, preparing to offer it to the trash gods.
Then
A hand stopped her.
"No!!!"
She turned.
It was Honey. Out of nowhere. Like he sensed the cake was in danger.
He looked at it like it was a wounded puppy.
"Papa Ranka said he had to go buy some medicine for your head? Something about ‘cake induced psychosis’?"
Haruhi, still holding the cake, blinked. "Try calling him 'Papa when he's here"
Honey paled. "He might duck tape my mouth shut with ten layers of duct tape. I want to live."
She laughed. That loud, surprised kind of laugh. "Do you think he really accepts our relationship?"
"I think he's in denial," Honey said. "But you're his only daughter, so there's hope."
Then he looked at the cake again. A soft smile bloomed on his face.
"It’s beautiful."
Haruhi stared at him like he had three heads.
"Beautiful? Look at it! It looks like it’s whispering: ‘Eat me and wake up in hell.’"
Honey tilted his head. "Nah .. I think its just ,
It looks like it has ten kids, works three jobs, and has a husband who lives on glucose shots. It’s just tired and stressed"
Haruhi snorted. "Oh great, it has a life story now. A cake with trauma."
She tried to pull it away again.
"I’m never baking again. I swear, it’s not for me."
But Honey stopped her. Gently.
He pulled her into a hug.
"I’ll eat it. Because you made it. With all your heart."
Haruhi’s breath hitched. Her cheeks turned pink.
Then Honey pulled back. Tiptoed.
And kissed her.
Once.
Then again.
Then a third time.
She smile like a love drunk ..as he got the cake ,slice and
He took a bite, smiling.
She opened the fridge, pulled out a cola, opened and sip while watching honey devours her homemade cake.
He had finished his entire slice. Plate clean.
He looked up, smiling while blushing.. "It's so delicious ,This cake is worthy to rival the best number cake makers out there!” And with that Haruhi is a proud first time cake maker.
---
The Next Day – Host Club GC
Mori:
> Celebration cancelled. Honey's in the hospital. Suspected food poisoning.
And Haruhi Screams after reading Mori's chat
Chapter 12: Operation Sabotage Ren
Summary:
Ren asks Haruhi out on a weekend errand, but the Host Club knows it’s just a trap disguised as a gift hunt. Naturally, chaos follows: chili milk tea, surprise mascot attacks, a wrong perfume incident, and one very stealthy boyfriend in a hoodie. Haruhi may be playing it cool but her girlfriend instincts never lie
Notes:
Hi Everyone! If you love this fic .. You can check my other HaruhixHoney work Titled: When the silence Speaks.
Thank you
Chapter Text
It all started with a single sentence overheard by the Host Club.
> “Haruhi,” Ren beamed one afternoon, stepping into the clubroom uninvited again, “Can you come with me this weekend? I want to buy a present for my mom.”
A reasonable request, right? Except for one glaring fact: Ren had been trying to date Haruhi for the past three weeks—and the Host Club had made it their personal mission to make sure he didn’t succeed.
So when Haruhi—calm, logical, practical Haruhi—actually said:
> “Sure. I’m free this weekend.”
The entire room exploded.
“EEEHHHHHHHH?!”
---
Secret Emergency Host Club Meeting: Initiated
Tamaki slammed his hand on the table. “We’ve failed as her protectors! She said yes!”
“Calm down,” Hikaru rolled his eyes.
“No! This is a crisis! A date is a date—even if he says it’s for his mother! That guy’s trying to steal our daughter!”
Kyoya adjusted his glasses. “It’s entertaining, at least. I’ll help.”
Tamaki blinked. “Wait you’re actually joining the mission?”
“Why not?” Kyoya smiled coolly. “We need entertainment. And surveillance footage.”
Mori said nothing but nodded once. Hikaru and Kaoru leaned in with mischievous grins.
Only one person hadn’t reacted much.
Honey.
He was silently munching on a strawberry macaron in the corner, face unreadable.
Kyoya narrowed his eyes at him.
He knows.
Kyoya had find out that Honey and Haruhi were secretly dating
Only Mori knew for sure. Still, Honey hadn’t even protested when Ren asked Haruhi out.
> Why did he agree?
Kyoya smirked inwardly.
> Interesting.
---
D-Day: Mall Madness
Saturday arrived. The team was locked and loaded.
Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori, and Honey all wore communication earpieces.
Kyoya stationed himself in the mall’s security surveillance room (don’t ask how he got in it involved a donation and a wink). Multiple screens showed every angle of Haruhi and Ren’s "not-a-date" date.
> “Team, you’re all in position?” Kyoya's voice came through, crisp and cold.
> “Ready!” Tamaki whispered, wearing a ridiculous blonde wig and fake mustache.
> “Set.” Hikaru and Kaoru, disguised as pushy salespeople, cackled into their earpieces.
> “Standing by,” Mori mumbled inside the mall mascot
> “...I brought my bunny backpack,” Honey said sweetly.
Kyoya sighed. “Focus, everyone.”
---
Phase One: Milk Tea Meltdown
Just as Haruhi and Ren approached a popular milk tea stand, Tamaki stepped in with a tray of samples.
> “FREE TASTING!” he yelled, handing them both cups.
Ren sipped casually—until he exploded.
“GAAHHH! MY MOUTH! IT’S ON FIRE!”
He dropped the cup, coughing, tears spilling from his eyes. The milk tea Tamaki gave him had 100 chili peppers blended into it. His face turned redder than a tomato.
Haruhi blinked at hers. “Huh. Mine tastes like strawberry.”
Ren screamed as he tried to fan his mouth.
Tamaki slunk away into the crowd.
> “Success,” Kyoya’s voice echoed smugly.
---
Phase Two: The mascot
As Ren staggered away, trying to regain his dignity, a giant pink bear mascot approached.
Inside?
Mori
And behind the bear?
Tamaki, now dressed as a mall security guard with oversized sunglasses, a neon vest, and an absurd fake mustache.
> “Target locked,” Tamaki said into his comms, voice low and serious.
Suddenly, without warning, the mascot charged and body checked Ren with a loud "POOF!" from its fluffy arms.
“SURPRISE HUG!” the bear yelled , wrapping its arms around Ren and nearly knocking him over.
“AAAAH WHAT THE?! GET OFF ME!!”
Ren flailed wildly, elbowing the mascot’s belly, trying to pry himself free.
Tamaki immediately blew his whistle with dramatic flair. “SIR! YOU CAN’T ASSAULT THE MASCOTS!”
“I HE IT ATTACKED ME FIRST!”
Tamaki shook his head, sighing in exaggerated disappointment. “That’s what they all say…”
He pulled out a giant hot pink ticket from his vest and slapped it squarely onto Ren’s chest:
> "OFFICIAL WARNING: MASCOT VIOLATION – UNSANCTIONED AGGRESSION TOWARD HAPPINESS."
Around them, a growing crowd began to stare.
A group of teenage girls nearby gasped.
> “Oh my god, is he fighting a mascot?!”
A toddler pointed. “Mommy, that man hurt the bear!”
A mall Aunt, clutching her shopping bags, leaned toward her friend and whispered very loudly,
> “Men really have no standards these days. Even mascots aren’t safe.”
Her friend replied, scandalized,
> “What is that, some kind of mascot fetish? Disgusting.”
Another couple walked past slowly, eyeing Ren like he was a criminal on the loose.
> "is he touched the mascot not in the right places In public.” didn't see the actual scene but only heard from the others.
> “This country is going downhill,” someone muttered.
Phase Three: Eau de Pain
Next stop: a small cosmetics kiosk.
Hikaru and Kaoru both dressed in sparkly sales uniforms waved them over with perfume bottles.
“Want a new scent for your Girlfriend?” Kaoru grinned.
"No she's not my girlfriend" but Ren's blushing
"Are you okay Ren?" haruhi ask when she see the flush on his face.
“ohhh is that so" Hikaru were pissed but he continue with his words
"Then Try this!” said Hikaru, spraying the nozzle
directly into Ren’s eyes.
“AAAAAAAAGGGHHH MY EYES! IT BURNS!!!”
“…That’s pepper spray,” Haruhi deadpanned.
“oh sorry wrong bottle,” Kaoru smirked as they vanished into the crowd.
Kyoya cackled through the earpiece. “Delightful. That’s three out of five sabotage points already. Move to Phase Four.”
---
Phase Four: Card Decline Catastrophe
Somehow, Ren survived and still managed to get Haruhi to a jewelry store.
“This is a nice one,” Haruhi said, pointing at a delicate necklace. “She might like something simple.”
Ren, puffing his chest and acting suave again, approached the cashier.
He pulled out a black card.
Declined.
Then his platinum.
Declined.
“E-Eh? Wait—try this one.”
Declined.
The cashier raised an eyebrow.
“Sir… are you sure these cards are valid?”
Behind the monitor, Kyoya smirked. He had sent a lovely glitch through the banking system tied to Ren’s name.
> “Let’s see how many ways a man can sweat.”
Ren turned to Haruhi, visibly humiliated.
“…We’ll just go to a cheaper store,” Haruhi muttered.
---
Phase Five: Honey Joins the Party
In front of a less expensive jewelry stall, Honey crouched behind a crepe stand.
He wore a giant hoodie, hood pulled up over his blonde hair, chewing strawberry crepes in stealth mode.
> “I’m in position… and full of sugar,” he whispered.
But just as Ren went inside…
“Honey-senpai?”
Haruhi stood behind him, blinking.
Despite the hoodie, the crepes, and the stealth mode… Haruhi had found him.
“E-EH?! How did she—” Hikaru shouted over the comms.
Honey pressed his earpiece.
> “Abort mission,Haruhi Spotted me.”
Kyoya’s voice crackled. “No. This is fine. You’re the closest surveillance we have now. Proceed.”
---
Operation: Ferris Feelings
“Why are you here, Honey senpai?” Haruhi asked, arms crossed.
He smiled and held out a crepe. “Crepes are really good here.”
“Did you follow us?”
“Nooo,” Honey said innocently.
Ren came out of the store, slightly proud. “Got it. Let's go.”
“Can I come too?” Honey asked, blinking up at them.
But before Ren decline Haruhi speak
"Yes you can.. senpai"
They walked toward the Ferris wheel beside the mall.
On the ride, Ren was visibly irritated because of the little one that curled to Haruhi like a Koala.
"We should just let him wait for Mori on one of the benches of this mall"
“Cake monster might take me,” Honey said solemnly.
“…You’re not a kid.” Ren
“But cake monsters don’t know that,” Honey added with a smile.
Ren almost growled.
"It's okay Ren " Haruhi smile
Inside the Ferris wheel, Ren finally sighed and turned to Haruhi and Haruhi remember something.
"Ren, you said you wanted to tell me something?"
"Ohh what it is Ren?"
Honey ask while He let his hands trail further up her arms, pulling himself just a little closer to her and he look at Ren with eyes that seemed to be saying something he couldn’t put into words."
Ren Look at Honey defeated and to Haruhi
"Next time Haruhi"
---
Post Mission Debrief
As the ride ended, Honey pressed his earpiece one last time.
> “Mission success.”
Kyoya leaned back in the surveillance room chair.
> “Chaotic. Brilliant. Better than cable.”
Chapter 13: Splash, Smash, and Sleepwalk Lies
Summary:
.When the Host Club vacations at Tamaki’s absurdly luxurious private beach resort, all the boys expect fun, sun, and an accidental glimpse of Haruhi in a swimsuit. What they get instead: denim shorts, invisible foot curses, a pillow fight assassination game, and Haruhi… making a very bold move on a certain cake loving senpai at 3 a.m.
It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
(Except for Tamaki, Kaoru, and Hikaru are not fine.)
Notes:
I hope you like it..
And I write a new fanfic about Haruhix Honey ..you can check it😊
Chapter Text
The private resort shimmered under the summer sun, complete with an enormous pool, pristine gardens, and not a single guest in sight save for the Ouran Host Club.
“I can already picture it,” Tamaki sighed, gazing dreamily toward the water. “Haruhi, in a lovely one piece swimsuit, sunlight sparkling against her skin, perhaps a shy blush on her cheeks…”
“You’re drooling,” Hikaru said.
“I call first photo,” Kaoru added, adjusting his sunglasses with a wicked grin. “I bet she picked something cute like a pale yellow. Maybe ruffles.”
Tamaki clutched his chest dramatically. “She will be radiant. The embodiment of summer purity!”
Kyoya, who had been typing away on his tablet in the shade, finally looked up. “You’re all going to be disappointed.”
“What do you mean?” the twins chorused.
“I may or may not have seen her packing,” Kyoya said with a faint smirk. “Let’s just say expectations will not meet reality.”
As if on cue, Haruhi emerged from the changing room.
The world slowed.
Gone were dreams of pastel ruffles and cute blushes.
Haruhi stepped into the sun wearing a black oversized T-shirt clearly two sizes too big and simple denim shorts. Her legs were bare, but the shirt swallowed most of her figure.
She completely unaware of the mental collapse happening in front of her.
“W-What is this travesty?!” Tamaki wailed. “Where is the swimsuit!?”
Hikaru blinked. “Are we being... punked?”
Kaoru looked around as if a hidden camera would pop out.
Kyoya didn’t even blink. “I warned you.”
Haruhi gave them a flat look. “What? I’m wearing clothes appropriate for swimming.
Behind her, Honey paddled into view on a bright pink inflatable donut. He drifted around Haruhi like a tiny moon orbiting its sun, humming as he floated by.
“Haruuu~” he called sweetly. “The water’s really nice!”
Mori trailed after him quietly, holding a towel.
“Haruhi~!” Tamaki called, voice instantly switching to charm mode. “May I escort you to the pool?”
“No need,” she replied casually, already slipping her legs into the shallow end.
The boys followed, hearts pounding for any moment of swimsuit-fueled bliss. But as they approached yank!
“GAH !!”
Tamaki gets yanked under like a sock in a washing machine.
“GLURG!”
Kaoru disappears with a splash that sounds like karma.
Hikaru’s whole body just folds into the water like a cursed origami.
They surface seconds later, coughing and gasping.
“What the hell was that?!” Hikaru sputters.
“Did something… grab me?” Kaoru cries.
“It’s probably just the wrath of the universe,” Kyoya offers from a lounge chair.
Meanwhile, Honey floats gently in circles around Haruhi, kicking his tiny legs.
He’s been orbiting her like a smiley, cake powered planet all morning.
Haruhi kicks at the water. “You having fun, Mitsukuni?”
He smiles. “Always~”
She smiles back.
Tamaki sees it. And immediately drowns again.
---
Later, when Honey floats a little closer, she leans over.
Voice low.
“Is it okay that I’m not wearing a swimsuit?” she asks, barely a whisper. “I just… feel shy.”
Honey stops paddling.
Then nods. “It’s more than okay, Haru-chan. You’re perfect.”
Her cheeks flush.
Kyoya writes in his notebook: “Possible development: spontaneous combustion via salbabida flirting.”
---
Lunch is a whole situation.
Haruhi happily devours a plate of seared fancy tuna, humming to herself like she’s living her best life.
Tamaki pokes his soba like it insulted his mother. “She didn’t compliment any of us.”
“She smiled at Honey,” Hikaru mutters darkly.
“Twice,” adds Kaoru, his eye twitching.
Mori hands Honey a strawberry tart. No one notices that he’s silently been orchestrating 90% of the chaos, including the foot-yanking strategy earlier.
Kyoya is still taking notes. “Emotional collapse now 70% complete.”
---
“Okay,” Kyoya says later, “sleeping arrangements are four futons in one large tatami room.”
Tamaki goes ghost-white. “What do you mean, one room?!”
“It builds trust,” Kyoya replies.
Futons are laid out. Everyone changes into comfy pajamas. Haruhi disappears into the bathroom with a toothbrush.
The three boys immediately launch Operation Sleep-Next-to-Haruhi.
“I’ll take the side closest to her,” Kaoru says, sliding his pillow in place.
“She won’t want to be squished, I’ll go next,” Hikaru adds.
“I’m her FATHER!” Tamaki begins, but they all ignore him.
By the time Haruhi returns, her spot is boxed in.
Haruhi stares.
Moves to the farthest futon near Mori.
“Smart,” Kyoya mutters.
Then someone throws a pillow.
All hell breaks loose.
Screams. Laughter. At least two fake ninja flips.
Kaoru uses a pillow as a shield. Hikaru tries to sneak behind Haruhi and gets sniped in the face. Tamaki attempts a dramatic leap but is immediately clocked by a flying futon.
Honey? Quietly watching. Waiting.
Haruhi? Laughing.
Openly, freely, without holding back.
They all freeze.
It’s beautiful.
Then she yawns. “I’m going to bed.”
“Me too,” Honey chirps, tucking in with Usa-chan.
Tamaki rearranges himself three times trying to get close again. No success.
Eventually, everyone falls asleep.
---
Honey wakes up with the soft sound of someone shifting.
He blinks.
Wait.
He was sleeping far away from Haruhi.
So…
> Why is she in his arms?
Like literally. Wrapped around him.
Her head tucked into his chest. Her legs curled close. One hand flat against his stomach.
And she’s breathing soft little puffs that tickle his neck.
Honey swallows.
“H Haru chan…?”
She mumbles something.
Then
Her lips brush his jaw.
He flinches. Not from discomfort. From terror. From being-alive-too-hard.
“Haruhi—”
She kisses him.
Full.
Slow.
Intentional.
There’s a tiny sound soft, breathy, real that escapes from her when their mouths press together.
And then
Another kiss.
She’s still asleep. Maybe.
Or… not.
She murmurs, lips warm on his skin:
> “Mitsukuni. Just… let me, okay?”
He stops breathing.
Heart exploding. Brain melting. Soul leaving.
He nods once.
She stays there, curled in his arms.
He doesn’t move the rest of the night.
---
Tamaki wakes up first.
Sees Haruhi, smiling in her sleep, still hugging Honey.
His scream echoes into the forest.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Kaoru sits bolt upright. Hikaru stares, wide eyed.
Mori slowly sips tea from a thermos, calm as ever.
Kyoya is already writing: “Emotional Death. Cause: Envy. Time: 6:12 a.m.”
Haruhi stirs.
Blinks.
Looks at Honey like she’s not even surprised.
Then sits up, yawns, and says calmly:
> “I must’ve sleepwalked.”
Tamaki dies.
Kaoru breaks.
Hikaru swears vengeance.
Only Honey sees the way her lips twitch into a small, secret smile.
Like she knows exactly what she’s doing.
Chapter 14: Group Chat Disaster
Summary:
It started with Tamaki posting a meme about a short girl kissing her tall boyfriend.
It spiraled into the Host Club trying to figure out how Honey-senpai would kiss a tall girlfriend.
Notes:
I've got a weird idea by the meme that I saw😅
I hope you like it. If you don't mind , I have a new fanfic about Honey x Haruhi...you can read it.
Chapter Text
It started with a post.
A single, silly, sweet viral photo Tamaki had shared in the Ouran Host Club group chat: a petite girl tiptoeing to kiss her tall boyfriend. The caption was simple“Height doesn’t matter when it’s love 💕”
but chaos was born the second Tamaki hit send.
Tamaki: LOOK HOW ADORABLE THIS IS. THIS IS TRUE LOVE. THIS COULD BE ME.
Kaoru: …With who? Yourself in the mirror?
Hikaru: Or with Haruhi? 😏
Tamaki: WHA– NO. NO. I
Kaoru: Don’t lie. You shared this for one reason.
Hikaru: Let’s not beat around the bush. Tamaki is clearly projecting.
Tamaki: I’M NOT. I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS…CUTE!!
Kyoya: Interesting timing.
Tamaki: 😭
Haruhi, who had been silently scrolling through the messages while sipping her tea, rolled her eyes. The Host Club group chat was always somewhere between mildly unhinged and aggressively absurd.
But it got worse.
Kaoru: LMAO imagine if Honey-senpai had a girlfriend taller than him.
Tamaki: HA! A fair point. Let’s reverse it! Let’s say the girl is tall and the guy is
Kaoru: Pocket-sized.
Hikaru: Travel size.
Kaoru: Thumbelina core.
Hikaru: Borrower sized boyfriend realness.
Kaoru: A lego with emotions.
Tamaki: 😭😭😭
Kaoru: Okay so how will Honey senpai kiss a tall girlfriend?
Hikaru: Paraglider.
Kaoru: Rocket shoes.
Hikaru: Climb a ladder.
Kaoru: tied more hellium balloons on his waist ,to reach his tall girlfriend
Tamaki: A CATAPULT!!
Kaoru: Or just crawl into her pocket and wait for the right time.
Kyoya finally stepped in.
Kyoya: I wouldn’t be surprised if Honey starts breaking your bones tomorrow in the club room.
Mori: Confirm when he says “Osu.” Then I’ll start knocking on your doors.
Tamaki: I’M SORRY 😭
Kaoru: I REGRET EVERYTHING 😭
Hikaru: PLEASE FORGIVE US 😭
Haruhi couldn’t help but smirk. Their image of Honey as a tiny fairy being flung through the air like a missile was absurd.
And then
Kyoya: If you truly want accuracy, consider using Haruhi and Honey senpai’s height difference as reference.
Tamaki: DUMP HIM.
Kaoru: PUNCH HIM IN THE GUT THREE TIMES THEN DUMP HIM.
Hikaru: MAKE IT FOUR.
Kaoru: 💢💢💢
Haruhi:
He’ll just ask me to lean down. That’s all.
Tamaki: 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Kaoru: SHE SPOKE
Haruhi: I thought we were using me and Honey senpai’s heights as the example?
Kyoya: …Interesting.
---
Meanwhile, in Haruhi’s apartment...
It was silent.
The chaotic group chat buzzed, unaware that Honey couldn’t respondbecause he was fast asleep on the couch. A small plate with cake crumbs was beside him, his cheeks faintly dusted with sugar. He lay curled up with Usa chan as his pillow, his expression as peaceful as a sugar overdosed kitten.
Haruhi tiptoed over and lightly tapped his shoulder.
“Mitsukuni-senpai,” she whispered.
He stirred, stretching his arms before blinking sleepily at her.
“What time is it…?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “I overslept… because of cake coma…”
Haruhi stifled a laugh. “You didn’t even respond in the chat. They're all imagining you as a Thumbelina sized boyfriend right now.”
Honey’s face scrunched in offense. “That’s not fair! I’m not that small!”
“I mean,” Haruhi teased, leaning closer, “you are kinda tiny.”
He pouted. “You're teasing me again…”
She grinned and tilted her head. “So, senpai, if you had a tall girlfriend, how would you kiss her?”
Honey’s cheeks exploded in red. “That’s not fair"
“But it’s a genuine question,” Haruhi said sweetly, brushing her fingers against his bangs. “Would you use a catapult?”
"HARUHII" he pouts more and haruhi chuckles
And after that
“I’d always ask you to lean down…” he mumbled, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve.
Haruhi chuckled again, then cupped his chin. “Good answer.”
She leaned down and kissed him, soft and sweet, lips brushing like silk and he kissed back
When they pulled apart, Honey blinked, dazed. “ I wanna stay longer but if Papa Ranka knew I'm still here at this hour me might kill me"
---
The next morning…
At the door of the club room, a strange sight awaited Haruhi and Honey.
Tamaki, Kaoru, and Hikaru stood side by side, heads bowed, holding a massive three tiered cake decorated with “SORRY HONEY-SENPAI 💖” in pastel frosting.
“WE’RE SO SORRY,” Tamaki wailed, kneeling. “PLEASE DON’T UNLEASH THE DARK SIDE OF CUTE!”
“WE HAVE WRONGED A SWEET TOOTHED GOD,” the twins shouted.
“We brought strawberry, vanilla, AND chocolate just in case!” Kaoru added.
“We even added edible glitter!” Hikaru cried.
Honey blinked at the spectacle, then turned to Haruhi. “Should I be mad?”
Haruhi shrugged. “I think they’re scared of you now.”
“I’m not mad,” Honey chirped, taking a slice of cake mid-apology. “But the catapult joke was kinda mean!”
“WE KNOW,” the three said in unison.
Kyoya sipped his tea calmly from his chair. “They were also planning to Photoshop you into a thimble next. Just so you know.”
“KYOOOOYA!!” Tamaki gasped, betrayed.
Mori stood silently by the window, his arms crossed. He simply said, “Osu.”
Three grown (rich) teenage boys screamed and hit the floor again.
Chapter 15: The Extravagant Birthday Haruhi Never Wanted (But Kind of Loved Anyway)
Summary:
Haruhi insists she doesn’t want a big birthday celebration but the Host Club can't help themselves. What starts as a "totally not a party" tuna tasting turns into chaos, glitter, and suspiciously magical health benefits. The next day, Haruhi gets her real wish: Honey in a maid outfit, serving tuna while sitting on her lap. Secret relationship? Still secret. Dignity? Gone. Worth it? Absolutely.
Notes:
It is based on the movie I watched. I hope y'all like it..
And I have a new fanfic about Haruhix honey, you can read it😊
Chapter Text
In the days leading up to her birthday, Haruhi made one thing very clear to the Host Club.
“No parties. No surprises. No drama,” she said firmly, eyes deadpan as she stared over her textbook. “I just want to study, sleep, and eat miso soup. Quietly.”
Naturally, the Host Club heard: Let’s throw the biggest, most extravagant, completely over the top celebration of her life.
Tamaki, in particular, took it as a challenge from destiny.
“My precious daughter this must be celebrated!” he declared, eyes filled with glittery determination. “Her humble commoner birthday shall be elevated to ROYALTY.”
“She literally said no,” Kaoru pointed out.
“Super clearly,” added Hikaru.
Tamaki’s eyes shimmered with passion. “That’s the tsundere energy! We have to go harder!”
Kyoya looked up from his notebook, cool and unreadable. “Perhaps she simply doesn’t like being babyed?”
“Exactly,” Haruhi muttered from the corner. “I hate it.”
Kyoya adjusted his glasses, smirking. “Are you sure, Haruhi? You don’t want to be doted on? Pampered like a little princess?”
“Nope.”
The room fell silent.
Tamaki clutched his heart dramatically. “She denies her own cuteness...!”
Kyoya simply wrote in his planner: ‘Plan: Haruhi’s Birthday. Ignore all her wishes.’
And so, the stage was set.
---
The Day of the Disaster (Also Known as Haruhi’s Birthday)
It was a peaceful Saturday morning.
Haruhi, finally free from Host Club nonsense, wore her favorite oversized shirt and was halfway through making toast. The sun poured gently through the curtains. Her tea was steeping. Her apartment was quiet.
And then
Ding dong.
She froze.
"Please be a delivery. Please be a lost neighbor. Please not" haruhi whispered
She peered through the peephole.
Tamaki. Wearing a tux. Holding a cake shaped like a tuna tower.
Behind him, the rest of the Host Club stood like an overenthusiastic parade. Everyone wore bright party hats. Kyoya had a clipboard. Mori held a cooler. The twins held a glitter banner that read:
"CELEBRATING THE BIRTH OF OUR COMMONER QUEEN!"
And Honey waved cheerfully with a sparkly gift bag. “Happy birthday, Haru-chan!”
Haruhi opened the door slowly. “…This is harassment.”
Tamaki beamed. “SURPRISE!”
“I told you not to come.”
“And we ignored you with love!” Kaoru chirped.
“Come on, Haruhi,” Hikaru added. “Your royal court is here.”
“You’re not coming in.”
Kyoya gently placed a sash over her shoulder.
It read: “Birthday Princess of the Year”
Then, without warning, Tamaki dropped a plastic, glitter-covered crown on her head.
“You are our princess,” he declared with sparkly eyes.
“This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever worn.”
“Imported from France,” Kyoya said.
Defeated, Haruhi stepped aside.
“Fine. Just… wipe your feet.”
---
Inside: Chaos. Absolute chaos.
Streamers were flying. Bubble machines were somehow set up in her sink. Her bookshelf was covered in tuna-themed presents. A cake with her face and a fish tail sat on the table.
But the worst was yet to come.
The boys lined up with silver trays in their arms, each carrying a variation of fancy tuna.
Tamaki was first.
“Presenting,” he said in a low, dramatic voice, “Otoro Imperial the king of tunas! Massaged by monks, infused with ginkobiloba, anti-aging collagen, and a hint of lavender mist! One bite and your skin will glow like moonlight”
Hikaru swaggered forward. “Mine is the Crimson Delight! Packed with rejuvenating enzymes, this tuna is said to clear your pores, align your spine, and possibly awaken your third eye!”
Kaoru added, “Mine’s turbo-seasoned with tuna essence and brain vitamins. Tastes so good, you’ll forget who you are!”
Kyoya calmly held his tray. “This variation includes DHA, omega-3, and was soaked in green tea for twenty-four hours. Scientifically designed to reduce stress and social awkwardness.”
Mori said nothing. He just placed his plate simple, perfect tuna slices and stepped back.
And finally, Honey skipped forward, holding his dish proudly.
“Mine has chocolate syrup, mochi balls, and rainbow sprinkles!”
Haruhi blinked. “…You turned it into dessert sushi?”
“Birthday style!” Honey grinned.
Then the chaos reached its peak.
Tamaki stepped in front of the twins, voice sharp. “Obviously, my Otoro is the superior tuna.”
“Please,” scoffed Kaoru. “Yours is oily.”
“Mine has enlightenment,” Hikaru snapped.
“I researched mine,” Kyoya said flatly.
“Mine’s got sprinkles,” Honey mumbled from the side.
Haruhi, now sitting at her table with the crown slightly slipping to one side, picked up a fork. She tasted each one.
Chew.
Chew.
Chew.
Swallow.
“They all taste the same.”
Dead silence.
Tamaki gasped. “What?!”
“You take that back!” Kaoru yelled.
“Mine has ginkobiloba!!” Tamaki cried.
Haruhi stared at them. “They’re all tuna.”
Hikaru collapsed dramatically onto the floor. “She doesn’t know flavors!!”
Kyoya scribbled in his notebook: Subject lacks refined palate. Investigate.
Mori blinked. That was it.
Honey looked horrified. “Even mine…?”
Haruhi patted his head. “Yours tastes like sadness and sprinkles.”
“Aw…”
Later That Evening
Hours passed.
The Host Club made her wear a sash, crown, and pink birthday gloves. They played party games, sang karaoke with dramatic flair, and performed a reenactment of The Little Mermaid with Tamaki as Prince Tuna. There were multiple accidents involving tuna juice, soda explosions, and Kaoru accidentally gluing streamers to her cat tower.
At one point, Mori carried Haruhi across the room like a princess while the others cheered.
And finally, when everyone collapsed into giggles and leftovers, Haruhi sat cross legged on her sofa, cake crumbs on her cheek, wearing her glittery crown like a queen who had finally surrendered.
She looked around the chaos decorations falling off the walls, sash crooked on her shoulder, and Honey fast asleep beside her.
And she smiled
------
Morning at the Apartment
Haruhi stretched , and kicked a deflated birthday balloon off her foot. Her apartment looked like it had hosted a royal food fight. Glitter was on the ceiling. Someone left their hat on the rice cooker.
She glanced at the guest room door.
Still shut.
She knocked gently.
“Hey,” she called. “You awake?”
No answer.
“Come on, it’s just me.”
Silence.
“You already wore the maid outfit during Maid and Butler Day, remember?”
“…That was at school,” came Honey’s muffled voice.
“And this is my apartment. No one else is here. Come on.”
More silence.
Then the door creaked open.
Honey peeked out, blushing furiously.
He was wearing a black and white maid outfit, complete with frilly apron, bows, and thigh high socks.
“You’re so mean,” he muttered.
Haruhi immediately raised her phone and snapped a picture.
“Haruhiii!”
She smirked. “That’s for my birthday album.”
He pouted, flustered. “If this wasn’t your birthday wish…!”
Then, with an exasperated sigh, he added:
“You really do have a maid kink, huh?”
Haruhi laughed. “Maybe. You wear it well.”
He groaned and covered his face with the tray he was carrying still filled with leftover fancy tuna.
She, still wearing the crown and sash, sat down on the sofa and stretched her arms like a queen.
“Come here.”
“No way.”
“Birthday wish.”
Honey groaned dramatically but trudged over. With great reluctance, he sat on her lap, holding the tuna plate like an offering.
“I feel so ridiculous.”
“You look adorable.”
“I’m filing a complaint with the Host Club Ethics Committee.”
“Noted. Now, feed me.”
Honey blinked. “...What?”
“You’re already my maid. Feed me the tuna.”
Honey stared, scandalized. Then slowly picked up a slice and awkwardly held it out.
Haruhi bit it with zero shame.
“Still tastes like tuna,” she teased, chewing.
“You’re evil.”
“I’m the princess today.”
Honey pouted but smiled a little.
“Alright. What now, princess?”
Haruhi reached for her phone again.
“Selfie.”
“Noooo.”
“Yes.”
He groaned and places the plate of a fancy tuna on the top of the table on the living room and she held the phone up.
“Smile, Maid-chan.”
They both smiled Haruhi smugly, Honey reluctantly as the phone clicked.
Then Haruhi turned to him with a glint in her eye.
“One more. Kiss my cheek.”
Honey’s eyes widened. “You ”
“It’s a request.”
He blushed from ear to ear.
“…You’re going to kill me,” he mumbled.
But slowly, shyly, he leaned in.
Pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.
Click.
Haruhi turned, grinning. “Perfect.”
He hid his face on her shoulder, groaning.
“I hate how much I love you right now.”
She hugged him gently, resting her cheek against his.
“I know.”
---
Tbc.
Chapter 16: Cake Deprivation Is a Dangerous Thing
Summary:
Honey swears he doesn’t see a future with Haruhi anymore… but maybe that’s just the sugar withdrawal talking. Haruhi’s not about to let cake deprivation ruin their relationship especially when she has Wi-Fi passwords, hammers, and literal sparks on her side.
Notes:
The idea came from a meme of Furina from Tiktok... I hope you like it.
Also I have a new fanfic of Haruhi x Honey titled When the Silence Speaks.
Chapter Text
The rain had only just stopped when Haruhi stepped into her apartment building, grocery bag in hand, her hair still damp from the walk home.
when she unlocked her door, she was immediately greeted by the unmistakable sound of sniffling.
Inside, sitting cross legged on her living room floor with his back to the couch, was Honey. His bunny plush, Usa chan, was propped loyally beside him. His cheeks were puffed out, his eyes red and watery, and there was a faint tremble to his lip. He looked like a tragic anime character who had just been told their dessert buffet was canceled forever.
“Oh no,” Haruhi muttered under her breath, instantly knowing.
Honey’s head shot up. His eyes were shiny, the kind of shiny that only happened when someone had been banned from sugar for too long.
“I…” His voice wobbled. “I don’t see a future with you.”
Haruhi froze mid-step, staring at him blankly. “…What?”
He looked away dramatically, hugging Usa chan tighter. “It’s just… everything feels empty. Lifeless. Like… what’s the point?”
Her expression flattened. This wasn’t their first sweets-ban meltdown. Mori had told her earlier this week that Honey’s doctor had suggested two whole weeks without cake, crepes, parfaits basically every reason Honey woke up in the morning. Haruhi knew she’d be dealing with this exact moment.
She calmly set her grocery bag down, walked to her bookshelf, and pulled out a random pair of novelty glasses big, round, ridiculous ones.
Without a word, she stepped over and plopped them onto Honey’s face. “Here. Now you can see our future.”
Honey blinked at her, slightly cross eyed from the magnification. “Haruhi, this isn’t”
“It’s a limited edition future viewing device,” she deadpanned.
He stared at her like she was speaking another language and again he speaks “I’m… not feeling a connection.”
Haruhi didn’t even blink. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a slip of paper, and handed it to him. “There. That’s the Wi-Fi password. Connect to that instead.”
He sputtered. “That’s! That’s not what I meant!”
“Oh, I think it is,” she said sweetly, tilting her head like she was dealing with a moody cat.
Honey’s cheeks puffed up again, partly from frustration,. “We… can’t fix it, Haruhi”
That’s when Haruhi, without a single change in her calm expression, stood up, disappeared into her storage closet, and came back… holding a hammer.
His eyes went wide. “W-Wait, Haruhi!”
“I’ll fix everything right now,” she said evenly, tapping the hammer lightly against her palm.
Honey scooted back a little on the floor. “That’s not what I meant!”
She smirked just slightly, crouching down to meet his eyes. “You said we can’t fix it. Clearly you’ve never seen me with a toolbox.”
He stuttered, his ears turning red. “I...I can’t stand you!”
And just like that, Haruhi reached forward, grabbed him by the wrist, and tugged until he was sitting on her lap, sideways, like a sulking toddler.
“you can't stand me? now you're sitting on me , problem solved” she said, her voice completely neutral as if this was the most logical solution.
He froze, his face rapidly heating up. “Th That’s! Haruhi! You know what !We don’t have spark anymore,”
like he’d just been stabbed in a telenovela.
Haruhi leaned slightly to the side, reaching for her phone,
She tapped a few times, then flipped the phone toward him. On the screen played a YouTube video a five minute compilation titled: “Extreme Electric Sparks & Fireworks Compilation for Relaxation (4K)”.
Honey blinked at it. “What is that?”
“You said we don’t have any spark anymore,” Haruhi said matter of factly. “I found some.”
There were loud fzzzt! and pop! sounds from the video as welding arcs flashed across the screen, followed by overly dramatic slow motion shots of fireworks.
Honey’s eyes widened, his pout fighting a losing battle against a laugh. “That’s… that’s not what I meant”
“Oh? I thought this was pretty sparky. Look, even that one looks like a cake sparkler,” Haruhi teased, pointing at the screen.
Honey’s lips twitched. His resolve was crumbling. “You’re impossible.”
“You’re dramatic,” she countered, her arms wrapping securely around his waist.
“So… what’s the reason this time?”
Honey sniffled dramatically,
“You’re too much,” he mumbled.
Haruhi’s eyes narrowed. “Too much? What do you mean too much?”
Honey’s lower lip trembled like a puppy left out in the rain.
“Because… you can’t give me sweets,” he confessed, voice breaking. “You say you love me… but you won’t give me even a little bit…” His eyes glistened, as though this was the most tragic love story in history.
“I miss sweets…” Honey whimpered, his voice rising like a child about to throw a tantrum in a grocery store. He kicked his legs on the couch in exaggerated frustration.
Haruhi exhaled slowly, resigned. “Okay. I’ll give you sweets.”
Immediately, Honey’s eyes sparkled like Christmas lights. “Really?!”
She stood up, leaving him on the couch. “Wait here.”
The moment Haruhi disappeared into the kitchen, Honey was already bouncing in place, whispering to himself, “Finally… finally…”
When Haruhi returned, she was holding a little pudding cup and a spoon like she was offering the Holy Grail.
Honey’s face lit up, stars practically twinkling in his pupils.
“You’re the best!” he squealed, taking it eagerly. He tore off the lid, scooped a big spoonful, and shoved it into his mouth.
Then… his expression fell.
“Haruhi… this… this is a betrayal,” he whispered, like the world betrayed him.
Haruhi leaned back on the couch, arms crossed, smirking. “It’s sugar free, Honey. Doctor’s orders.”
He dropped the spoon in the cup, eyes glassy. “So… you’re telling me… you lured me in… gave me hope… and then”
“Yes.” Haruhi didn’t even let him finish.
Honey’s lower lip trembled. “You’re cruel… you’re too much…”
Haruhi tilted her head, pretending to think. “Do you want me to make it sweeter? I can do a magic trick”
His pout vanished instantly, replaced with hopeful sparkles. “Yes. Please. I’m begging you.”
Without warning, Haruhi cupped his face in both hands and started peppering his lips with quick, playful smooches. “There” kiss kiss kiss
Honey’s ears went red. “Haruhi” kiss “Stop” kiss kiss “You can’t just” kiss kiss kiss
“Yes, I can.” Haruhi grinned between kisses, not letting him escape.
Honey tried to twist away, but she pulled him back onto her lap again, wrapping an arm around his waist so he was stuck. “You’re bullying me,” he mumbled, voice muffled against her lips.
“ yes i can ,So is it sweeter now?”
Haruhi asked while pulling away a little
He sighed in defeat, resting his forehead against hers. “…yes, it's magically sweeter now.”
Haruhi smirked. “so no breakups?"
Honey smooches her lips and Haruhi know that means no Breakups and no more sweet deprived tantrums for now.
Chapter 17: Advance White Day, Advance Chaos
Summary:
Ren’s “advance” White Day gift sends the Host Club into chaotic overdrive, complete with melodrama, sabotage by chocolate, and one unexpectedly sweet moment with Honey.
Notes:
If you are looking for another HaruixHoney fanfic... You can check my other fic😊
Chapter Text
Classroom 2-A was unusually loud for a Monday morning. Not because of the usual chatter, but because all eyes were glued to the tall, elegant transfer student who had just appeared at Haruhi’s desk like some protagonist from a romance drama.
Ren stood there, holding something that looked like it belonged more to a royal ball than a high school: a perfectly wrapped box, shimmering in expensive foil with a ribbon so silky it could’ve doubled as couture fabric. He leaned down, his voice soft but calculated.
“For you, Haruhi. A White Day gift.”
The class gasped. A couple of girls squealed. The twins, sitting nearby, dramatically froze mid stretch like villains catching their rival in action.
“EEEEHHHHH???” Hikaru pointed, eyes wide with telenovela level betrayal.
“White Day??!” Kaoru clutched his chest. “It’s not even Valentine’s yet! What kind of heresy is this?!”
Ren didn’t flinch. Instead, he gave a faint smile. “Advance. I won’t be in Japan on White Day. I’ll be in Paris. So, I thought… why wait?”
“WHY WAIT?” The twins gasped together like synchronized drama actors. “Because that’s not how society works, you Show off transfer student!”
Haruhi blinked, not even half as fazed as the rest of the class. She accepted the box politely, though her eyebrows twitched. “Uh… thank you, Ren. That’s… very thoughtful. But… I haven’t even given anyone chocolates yet. It’s not Valentine’s Day.”
“Exactly,” the twins chimed in again, arms crossed like courtroom prosecutors. “She hasn’t given anyone chocolates yet! Your honor, this advance maneuver is ILLEGAL!”
Ren, ignoring them entirely, pulled out his phone. “I made it myself. Look.” He tapped play on a video. Onscreen, he was carefully tempering chocolate, pouring it into molds, packaging it with precision.
“Oooh,” some girls sighed. “He’s so skilled!”
The twins were unimpressed. Hikaru narrowed his eyes. “CGI.”
Kaoru added, “Or deepfake. That’s not real! Don’t fall for it, Haruhi!”
Ren’s eyebrow twitched but he didn’t take the bait. “Believe what you want. But it’s genuine.” He pushed the box closer to Haruhi’s desk.
---
By lunchtime, the twins had already typed a dramatic blow by blow report to Tamaki.
The reply came within seconds.
“WHAT?!?!?!?!”
The scream in the Third Music Room shook the chandelier so violently it wobbled like jelly. Tamaki fell to his knees, clutching his blond head. “REN STRIKES AGAIN!! The nerve! The audacity! The mon dieu the advance White Day attack!!”
“Calm down,” Kyoya said, adjusting his glasses, though his sigh betrayed mild exasperation. “If you shout any louder, the chandelier will fall. Do you want to bankrupt your family?”
“But Kyoya! Haruhi is being wooed again, right under our noses!” Tamaki wailed.
“Mm.” Mori grunted, expression unreadable.
The twins leaned in like gossiping demons.
“Ren’s really not giving up,” Hikaru whispered.
“Maybe he believes in that saying…” Kaoru smirked.
“‘While there is life, there is hope.’”
Tamaki gasped like he’d been stabbed. “NOOOO! We are the only ones allowed to woo Haruhi! Not that… that… transfer villain!”
“Shouldn’t you just confess then?” Kyoya deadpanned.
The silence that followed was golden. Tamaki’s soul practically left his body . “Con… confess?!” he squeaked like a broken violin and as he dramatic fall on the floor like a telenovela Protagonist while blushing hard, Mori catches him.
The twins high-fived.
Still, Kyoya flipped open his notebook. “Regardless, we need countermeasures. White Day is in a month. If Ren strikes early, then so shall we. Gentlemen… we’re making chocolates.”
---
That afternoon, chaos reigned in the clubroom.
“Careful! Don’t let Haruhi get food poisoning!” Kyoya barked, as if running a military kitchen.
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Hikaru shot back, smearing melted chocolate all over his cheek.
“It looks artistic,” Kaoru argued. “Like battle paint!”
Tamaki, of course, was trying to pipe Haruhi’s name in chocolate on top of a truffle. It came out looking like a cryptic symbol. “It’s modern art!” he insisted.
Mori worked silently, rolling neat truffles with surprising precision. Honey, meanwhile, was happily licking a spoon of melted chocolate. “Mm! This is fun! Can I add mochi inside?”
“No!!” Kyoya snapped.
“Yes!!” Honey countered with puppy eyes.
The twins leaned over the pot, whispering.
“Imagine if Ren poisoned his chocolate to eliminate the competition.”
“Maybe that’s why he showed a video… alibi!”
Kyoya pinched his nose bridge. “You two have been watching too many crime dramas.”
---
By the time Haruhi arrived after class, the clubroom looked like Willy Wonka had declared war. Bowls, wrappers, and chocolate smears were everywhere.
“Oh… you guys are making chocolates?” Haruhi asked, setting down her bag.
Tamaki immediately leapt forward, pointing at the box in her hands. “Give me that chocolate Ren gave you!”
“Uh…” Haruhi blinked, confused.
“It’s for your safety!” Hikaru declared.
“National security!” Kaoru added.
Skeptical but not wanting to argue, Haruhi handed over Ren’s gift. The trio immediately ripped it open and shoved pieces into their mouths.
“…Why are you eating it if you think it’s dangerous?” Haruhi deadpanned.
The twins froze mid-bite. Tamaki’s cheeks bulged with chocolate.
“W we couldn’t let you suffer!” Tamaki said dramatically. “Better us than you!”
“Yeah!” Hikaru added, already reaching for another piece.
“Even if it means… our lives!” Kaoru finished, stuffing more in his mouth.
Haruhi crossed her arms. “…You all just look hungry. And it tastes fine, doesn’t it?”
They froze again. Guilty silence. Then Tamaki shouted, “IT’S AWFUL! HORRIBLE! DISGUSTING!” even as he swallowed the last piece.
Haruhi sighed.
-----
And after a moment ...........
One by one, the Host Club lined up, each holding their handmade chocolates like knights offering treasure.
“For you, Haruhi,” Tamaki declared, kneeling. “My chocolate is filled with my love, my heart, and the spirit of France itself!”
Hikaru shoved forward. “Don’t listen to him! Mine is perfectly balanced, just like our bond!”
Kaoru mirrored him. “No, mine is better because it reflects my true feelings for you!”
“Wow,” Haruhi said dryly and as a dense queen she never seen the wooing . “Is this some kind of trend? Advance chocolates now?”
Mori silently held out a neat little box.
“Oh… thanks, Mori-senpai. This one actually looks edible,” Haruhi said, smiling faintly.
Honey bounced up last, handing her a small pink box decorated with flowers. “I made mine sweet and soft… just like you, Haru chan!”
Her expression softened. “Thanks, Honey-senpai.”
Behind her, the others looked personally attacked.
---
Later That Evening
The club eventually dispersed, but Haruhi managed to catch Honey by the vending machine.
“Ne, Honey-senpai…” Haruhi tilted her head, casually. “Do you want an advance Valentine’s gift too?”
Honey’s eyes lit up instantly. “Really?! Yes! Of course, Haru-chan!!” He bounced on his toes, already imagining a heart shaped box.
But Haruhi only smirked. “But… you’re not going anywhere on Valentine’s Day. Neither am I. So… no need.”
Honey froze. His face fell. Then he puffed his cheeks in a pout. “Haru-chan! You’re teasing meee agaiinn!”
Haruhi chuckled softly and pulled him into a quick hug. “You’re cute when you pout.”
Honey’s cheeks turned pink. “Haru-chaaaan…”
She leaned in, almost kissing him
But Mori suddenly appeared from the corner, monotone as always. “They’re coming back.”
They jumped apart instantly, Haruhi stepping back, Honey clinging to her arm like a koala.
“Oi, let go,” Haruhi whispered.
“Nope. Emergency cling mode,” Honey muttered, cheeks red but refusing to move.
And that was exactly how Tamaki and the twins found them: Haruhi flustered, Honey koala-hugging her arm, both looking suspiciously guilty.
The room exploded into chaos again.
Chapter 18: Once Upon a Tuna Can: The Ouran Cinderella Disaster
Summary:
The Ouran Host Club puts on Cinderella for the school festival. The play was supposed to be elegant. Instead, it involves rigged casting, a Fairy Godmother on a broken harness, glass slippers replaced with a tuna can, and far too many cheek kisses. Nobody survives with their dignity intact.
Notes:
I know this is the longest Chapter I ever made...
I have two other Honey x Haruhi fanfic .. You can check in my works😊
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The chandelier sparkled. The roses gleamed. The porcelain teacups sat untouched, because the Host Club wasn’t serving tea today.
Instead, every member of the Ouran High School Host Club was gathered around the long mahogany table, and in the center sat a crystal bowl filled with folded paper slips.
It looked like a sacred ritual.
It looked official.
It looked… very, very suspicious.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” Tamaki Suoh, self proclaimed King of the Host Club, struck a heroic pose on the table (ignoring Kyoya’s icy glare at his muddy shoes). His cape fluttered despite the lack of wind. “The annual Ouran cultural festival is nearly upon us! And the Host Club nay, the entire student body waits with bated breath for our grand event! This year, we shall bestow upon them… the purest of fairy tales! The most dazzling of romances! The timeless legend of ” he pointed dramatically at the ceiling, “Cinderella!”
The twins instantly exploded into identical evil laughter.
“Cinderella, huh?” Hikaru smirked.
“That means Haruhi in a dress,” Kaoru smiles , imagine Haruhi wearing Cinderella's gown.
Haruhi Fujioka, the only normal one in the room, sat cross legged in her chair with an unimpressed face. She didn’t even bother looking up from her notes. “No.”
“Yes!” Tamaki cried instantly, kneeling beside her chair as though proposing. “Yes, Haruhi, you must! For who else could embody the gentle radiance of Cinderella? Who else but my precious daughter could steal the hearts of the audience?”
“Not interested.”
“Not negotiable.”
Before Haruhi could argue further, Kyoya Ootori cool, calculating, clipboard in hand adjusted his glasses. “To ensure fairness, we’ll be drawing roles from this bowl.” He gestured to the glittering crystal centerpiece.
That should have been reassuring.
It wasn’t.
Haruhi eyed the bowl suspiciously. “…What’s the catch?”
“No catch,” Hikaru said innocently.
“Completely random,” Kaoru added, smiling way too wide.
Haruhi leaned forward, staring into their faces.
They were definitely up to something.
She could smell the mischief.
But fine let’s prove them wrong.
She reached into the bowl and pulled out the first slip. She unfolded it slowly.
Cinderella.
Haruhi blinked. “…Huh.” She tossed it onto the table. “Okay, next one.”
She reached in again. Another slip. Opened it.
Cinderella.
The twins snickered.
Her brow furrowed. “…Weird coincidence.”
Third draw.
Cinderella.
Fourth.
Cinderella.
Fifth.
Cinderella.
By now, the table was covered in slips, every one of them bearing the same cursed word. Haruhi’s eye twitched dangerously. “…This is rigged.”
“Of course not!” Tamaki exclaimed, clutching his chest as though stabbed by her accusations. “It simply means the universe has destined you for this role!”
“Destined? What destiny?!” Haruhi snapped, waving a fistful of identical slips. “This is obviously rigged! You’re all cheating!”
The twins gasped in mock offense.
“Cheating? Us?” Hikaru pressed a hand to his chest.
“Perish the thought,” Kaoru added, eyes gleaming with mischief.
“It’s destiny!” Tamaki insisted, pointing at the pile of identical slips like it was divine proof.
“Don’t give me that! You wrote Cinderella on every single one of these!”
Kyoya, without looking up from his clipboard: “Correct.”
“See?!” Haruhi pointed at him, exasperated.
“But,” Kyoya continued smoothly, adjusting his glasses, “you’re still playing the role. Arguing is a waste of time.”
“Unbelievable.”
From the back, Mitsukuni “Honey” Haninozuka clapped happily, Usa chan tucked under his arm. “Yay! Haru chan will be Cinderella! So cute!”
Takashi “Mori” Morinozuka gave a single approving grunt. “…hn.”
Then, with a dramatic flourish, Tamaki shoved his entire arm into the bowl. “Now behold, my role! Surely, destiny has something just as glorious planned for me!”
He drew a slip, opened it
Prince.
The air froze.
The twins’ jaws dropped.
“WHAT?!” they shrieked in unison.
“NO WAY!”
Tamaki threw his arms to the heavens, twirling with joy. “Behold! My fate intertwines with Haruhi’s! We are bound together by the strings of destiny!”
“Bound my foot!” Hikaru shouted.
“You rigged this too!” Kaoru accused, jabbing a finger at Tamaki.
“I did not!” Tamaki gasped, feigning innocence so hard it was basically guilt.
“You definitely did!” the twins yelled.
“Destiny has spoken!” Tamaki sparkled, tears streaming. “It was meant to be! I shall be Haruhi’s prince, her savior, her one true—”
“Shut up,” Haruhi deadpanned, already exhausted.
The twins threw themselves dramatically onto the floor.
“We wanted to be princes!” Hikaru cried.
“We wanted to sweep Haruhi off her feet!” Kaoru sobbed.
“Denied!” Tamaki roared, shielding Haruhi from them like a knight. “I am the chosen one!”
Kyoya, snapping his clipboard shut with a click, finally intervened. “Enough. At this rate, we’ll be arguing for hours. I’ll assign the remaining roles myself.”
The room fell silent. Even the twins froze mid-drama.
Kyoya’s glasses flashed. “Hikaru and Kaoru, you’re the stepsisters. Perfect fit.”
The twins blinked, then exchanged evil grins.
“Oh, we’ll make it fabulous.”
“Utterly horrifying.”
“Renge,” Kyoya continued without mercy, “you’re the Evil Stepmother.”
“WHAT?!” she shrieked from her motorized platform.
“Budgetary concerns. And your melodrama is better suited for villainy.”
She sputtered, but froze when Kyoya raised his pen. “…Fine.”
“Good. Honey will be the Fairy Godmother.”
“Yaaay!” Honey cheered, hugging Usa-chan.
“Mori, you’ll be the prince’s knight.”
“…Hn.”
“Perfect. That leaves me as the narrator.” Kyoya clicked his pen. “And now it’s decided.”
The twins grumbled. Renge sulked. Tamaki sparkled. Haruhi slumped in defeat.
Then Kyoya reached into his briefcase and pulled out a sleek, shining can. He set it on the table like a holy offering.
Her eyes widened. “…Is that… fancy tuna?”
“Yes,” Kyoya said smoothly. “Participate, and you’ll receive this as partial payment toward your debt. Consider it incentive.”
The room fell silent.
Haruhi stared at the tuna.
The tuna stared back (metaphorically).
Her will crumbled.
“…Fine,” she muttered, reaching out slowly. “But I’m holding it during the play.”
The twins burst into laughter.
Tamaki collapsed onto the floor in a puddle of sparkles. “My daughter has accepted her destiny! Oh, what joy! What bliss! What”
“Shut up,” Haruhi said.
Kyoya’s pen scratched across his clipboard:
Cinderella: Haruhi.
Prince: Tamaki.
Evil Stepsisters: Hikaru, Kaoru.
Evil Stepmother: Renge.
Fairy Godmother: Honey.
Prince’s Knight: Mori.
Narrator: Kyoya.
Roles secured. Disaster guaranteed.
The curtain had not yet risen, but the catastrophe had already begun.
The day after the casting “ceremony” (a.k.a. rigged destiny scam), the Host Club gathered once again for their first rehearsal.
Tamaki was pacing back and forth with a cape he had borrowed from the drama club, practicing his poses in front of a mirror. “Cinderella! My beautiful Cinderella! Dance with me beneath the moonlight!” He twirled dramatically, nearly knocking over a vase.
“Tone it down, boss,” Hikaru muttered.
“Yeah, save some drama for the real show,” Kaoru added.
Tamaki clutched his chest. “You don’t understand! This play… this story… it’s the purest form of romance! It is my chance to”
“embarrass yourself,” Kyoya finished without looking up from his clipboard.
From the corner, Honey waved cheerfully, tugging at the harness straps being adjusted around his small frame. “Look, Haru chan! I’m going to float like a real fairy godmother!”
Haruhi’s eyes immediately narrowed at the thin rope holding Honey aloft. “That looks flimsy.”
Mori stood nearby, arms crossed, watching silently.
The tech crew yanked at the harness, and Honey floated a few feet off the ground, waving his wand. “Yay! Sparkles!”
The rope gave a little ominous creak.
Haruhi immediately moved beneath him, arms out. “Careful. That rope looks like it’s going to snap any second.”
“Haruhi,” Tamaki said dramatically, “you mustn’t worry! Honey senpai is strong, a martial artist! He could survive a hundred falls!”
Haruhi turned, unimpressed. “That doesn’t mean we should test it.”
She glanced at Mori. “If this breaks, you’re catching him, right?”
Mori gave a single firm nod. “…Always.”
Satisfied, Haruhi kept her arms half-raised anyway, just in case.
Honey beamed down at her, cheeks pink. “Aw, Haru chan’s worried about me.”
“Don’t read into it,” Haruhi muttered, still watching the rope like a hawk.
Kyoya scribbled another note on his clipboard, smirking. “Rehearsals are already looking profitable. This level of chaos guarantees audience appeal.”
The twins laughed, Tamaki swooned, Honey sparkled, Mori nodded, and Haruhi muttered something about regretting every life choice that led her to this club.
----
and the festival day arrived, and the auditorium was packed with students mostly women buzzing in anticipation.
Kyoya stood in the wings with his clipboard, adjusting his glasses, calculating profit margins as if this was a stock exchange instead of a high school play.
Tamaki, on the other hand, was hyperventilating into a lace handkerchief. “My heart! My heart cannot take it! In just moments, Haruhi will appear as Cinderella, my princess, my light, my”
“our commoner classmate holding a tuna can,” Hikaru interrupted.
“Yeah, don’t forget the tuna can,” Kaoru added, snickering.
The lights dimmed. Kyoya’s voice rang out smoothly as narrator.
“Once upon a time, there lived a young girl named Cinderella. Though her life was humble, her beauty was unmatched.”
The curtains parted.
Haruhi holding her tuna like a sacred relic. She delivered her first lines with all the energy of someone who’d rather be anywhere else.
“Life is hard. I clean floors. Blah blah blah. Can I go home now?”
The audience giggled.
Enter Hikaru and Kaoru as the evil stepsisters, both in hideous gowns stuffed with feathers and sequins. They minced across the stage like demented flamingos.
the twins pranced in from the other side of the stage, dressed in gaudy gowns with wigs so large they looked like birds could nest inside.
“I'm the prettiest!” Hikaru declared in an obnoxious falsetto.
“No, I’m the prettiest!” Kaoru shrieked back, slapping at his wig.
They immediately launched into a hair pulling battle.
“Stop copying me!”
“You stop first!”
Haruhi stared at them, deadpan, hugging her tuna can tighter. “…This is going to be a long play.”
The audience roared with laughter.
Kyoya, still narrating as if nothing was amiss, continued: “Her stepsisters tormented her day and night, flaunting their supposed beauty…”
The twins froze mid fight, looked at Kyoya, and then at each other.
“Supposed?” they echoed together, offended.
“Just read the script,” Kyoya replied smoothly.
The twins groaned and went back to bickering, pulling feathers out of each other’s wigs.
Meanwhile, Haruhi sat in the corner, muttering lines as flatly as humanly possible: “Oh no, I’m so mistreated. Woe is me.”
The audience laughed harder.
The curtains rose again.
Cinderella (Haruhi, still clutching her tuna can) stood quietly center stage, trying to look tragic but mostly just looking like someone who wanted to be at home eating dinner.
Kyoya’s narrator voice rang smoothly:
“One day, word arrived that the Prince would host a grand ball at the palace, inviting all maidens of the land…”
On cue, Renge stormed onto the stage in an enormous villainous gown with an oversized fan, cackling dramatically. “Cinderella! You will not attend! This ball is for beautiful young ladies like my daughters!”
“Like me!” Hikaru shrieked, fluttering his lashes, nearly knocking his wig sideways.
“No, ME!” Kaoru screeched, elbowing his brother in the ribs.
The audience roared as the two immediately descended into a hair pulling, wig snatching, gown-tugging battle in the middle of the stage.
“Don’t steal my spotlight!”
“You’re stealing my spotlight!”
One wig went flying off into the front row. A girl in the audience screamed, holding it up like she’d just caught a prize at a rock concert.
Kyoya’s voice cut sharply through the chaos" you two Focus.”
And they focus.
“Cinderella!” Hikaru screeched in falsetto.
“Cinderella!” Kaoru echoed.
“Your dress is disgusting!”
“Let’s destroy it!”
They lunged toward Haruhi. Instantly, she shoved the tuna behind her back. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Not the tuna, Cinderella,” Kyoya’s voice echoed crisply from offstage. “The gown. They’re supposed to rip the gown.”
Haruhi sighed heavily, then grabbed her own skirt. RIIIIP.
The audience gasped.
Tamaki shot up from his throne, scandalized. “MY HARUHI'S PURITY!
MY HARUHI'S DIGNITY HAS BEEN VIOLATED ONSTAGE!”
“Shut up,” Haruhi muttered, tossing shredded fabric aside.
From the dark, a student shouted: “Do they even know the story of Cinderella?!”
Kyoya, without missing a beat: “…Unfortunately.”
The audience shrieked with laughter again.
Renge cleared her throat dramatically, trying to wrestle back control. “Ahem! As I was saying, the ball will be held at the palace tonight! And” she glanced at Haruhi“surely Cinderella cannot attend!”
Haruhi deadpanned: “I’m going anyway.”
The audience exploded
And
Kyoya narrated coolly: “At her lowest moment, Cinderella received aid… from a magical fairy godmother.”
On cue, Honey runs onstage, still chewing cake. He froze mid bite when he saw Haruhi’s destroyed outfit. His cheeks turned pink, and he choked.
“MMF!!”
“Godmother, you’re supposed to float in,” Kyoya reminded.
“Oh right!” Honey squeaked, grabbing his wand. The pulley system creaked to life, lifting him into the air.
The harness groaned dangerously.
“…This is exactly what I was worried about,” Haruhi muttered. She crouched, ready.
SNAP!
The strap tore loose. Honey dropped like a sparkly meteor.
Without hesitation, Haruhi caught him in her arms.
“Wha ...H..Haru chan?!” Honey blushed furiously, hugging Usa chan tighter.
“You’re supposed to be floating,” Haruhi deadpanned, adjusting her grip. “So I’ll carry you.”
The audience erupted into laughter as Haruhi marched across the stage bridal carrying a Fairy Godmother.
“NO FAIR!” the twins yelled from the sidelines.
“UNACCEPTABLE!” Tamaki wailed, clutching his chest.
“Silence,” Kyoya ordered, voice cutting through the chaos. He gestured to the lighting crew, who frantically flicked glitter projectors and confetti cannons. “Magic.”
“Poof!” Honey squeaked as Haruhi places him on the ground..
A second later, Haruhi’s shredded gown was swapped for a dazzling sparkling.
The audience applauded wildly.
And Haruhi carry Honey again and her can of Tuna.
from backstage, two tech club members wheeled out the pumpkin carriage prop. It was crooked, squeaky, and one wheel looked seconds away from falling off.
Kyoya narrated:
“And thus, a magical carriage appeared to take her to the palace.”
Haruhi, still carrying Honey, walked toward it. “Guess you’re coming with me.”
Kyoya’s voice suddenly sharpened.
“No. He has no further scenes. Give him to Mori.”
Haruhi stopped dead. “…No.”
The audience cracked up as Haruhi clutched Honey tighter.
From the other side of the stage, Mori extended his arms calmly. “…Honey.”
Honey squeaked softly, looking between them. “M..Mori…”
“No!” Haruhi insisted, glaring like Mori was about to kidnap her child.
Kyoya’s voice dropped dangerously low through the mic.
“For the sake of my sanity, my budget, and this play’s runtime… GIVE. HIM. TO. MORI.”
The audience lost it.
Haruhi’s shoulders slumped, and with the bitterness of someone giving up her firstborn, she slowly placed Honey into Mori’s arms.
Honey still had crumbs on his cheeks, blushing furiously. Mori carried him off effortlessly.
Haruhi climbed into the pumpkin carriage, sulking, hugging her tuna can tight.
Kyoya’s narration continued smoothly as though none of that had happened:
“And so, with gown and carriage, Cinderella set off to the ball…”
The curtain dropped,and
When the curtains lifted once more, revealing the grand ballroom set
a backdrop of chandeliers and cardboard pillars painted gold. Someone in the art club had gone overboard with glitter half the stage looked like it had survived an explosion in a craft store.
Kyoya’s smooth voice carried over the audience.
“And so, dressed in her magically transformed gown, Cinderella was brought to the ball, where she would meet the Prince.”
On cue, Tamaki burst onto the stage, cape flaring dramatically, roses flying out of nowhere (probably launched by the twins backstage).
“CINDERELLA!” Tamaki cried, reaching out both arms like he’d been waiting his whole life for this.
Haruhi walked onstage calmly, still holding her tuna can.
The audience roared.
“My beautiful princess!” Tamaki dropped to one knee. “Will you grant me the honor of this dance?”
Haruhi stared flatly. “…Do I have to?”
“Yes!” Kyoya’s voice snapped instantly from the narrator’s booth.
“She should dance with us!” Hikaru hissed.
“We’re the better princes!” Kaoru added.
“You’re stepsisters,” Haruhi reminded flatly.
"Oh ,yeah we forgot" both chime as
They tried to wedge themselves between Tamaki and Haruhi, wiggling their oversized new wigs right in Tamaki’s face.
“Shoo!” Tamaki shrieked, pushing them aside with more strength “This moment is for Cinderella and me alone!”
"Boss, its not like acting at all" Hikaru frown as he's near Tamaki
"Yeah.. Your line and pushes are not acting anymore" Kaoru said..
"Of course not!" Tamaki's flushing with his opera voice
Kyoya coughs and narrated dryly, “The Prince ignored all others, choosing to dance only with Cinderella"
And
A moment Renge cackled loudly from the wings, overacting her stepmother lines. “NO BALL FOR YOU, CINDERELLA!!!!”
“Wrong scene,” Kyoya corrected.
“Oh.”
The audience laughs..
The music swelled. Haruhi twirled lazily, still holding the tuna. Tamaki’s eyes sparkled as if this was the greatest moment of his existence.
Then
HONK! HONK! HOOOONK!
Instead of bells chiming midnight, the sound tech had accidentally pressed the car alarm button.
The audience immediately burst into hysterics.
“…Seriously?” Haruhi deadpanned, looking up at the ceiling.
Kyoya, his voice steady despite the chaos: “…And then the clock struck midnight.”
Tamaki spun toward her dramatically. “No! Cinderella, wait!”
“I’m leaving,” Haruhi said flatly, turning and walking off stage, tuna can still clutched tight.
“Leave the tuna,” Kyoya commanded smoothly through the narration mic.
“No,” Haruhi shot back, without missing a beat.
Kyoya exhaled sharply. “…Destiny demands you leave it behind.”
“This entire thing is rigged!” Haruhi barked, halfway into the wings.
the entire Host Club shouted together except Haruhi of course, “DESTINY!”
The audience practically fell out of their seats.
---
Kyoya’s narrator voice:
“The next day, the Prince searched the land, desperate to find the maiden who had captured his heart. He would know her by the precious item she had left behind…”
Tamaki appeared, holding up the tuna can with reverence. “…This!”
The audience lost it.
The twins stormed forward, eager. “That tuna is MINE!”
“Yes, MINE!”
Tamaki snapped, “Then prove it! What are its ingredients?!”
The twins froze. “…Uh…”
“Salt?” Hikaru guessed.
“Fish?” Kaoru added.
“WRONG!” Tamaki declared, thrusting the can away.
Renge swooped in dramatically. “It’s mine, surely! I know everything about canned goods!”
Tamaki shoved the can at her. “Then how many pieces are inside?!”
Renge blinked, stammered, then wilted. “Um… five?”
“WRONG AGAIN!”
At last, Haruhi walked back onstage, arms crossed.
“Is this really necessary?”
“Yes!” Tamaki shouted. “If you are the true owner of this tuna, you must answer correctly! What brand is it?”
Haruhi rolled her eyes. “…Fancy Tuna Deluxe Premium. Net weight 160 grams. Sodium content 340 milligrams. Four chunks inside.”
The auditorium went silent for a beat, and then erupted into cheers and laughter.
Tamaki dropped to his knees, clutching the can to his chest like it was proof of destiny itself. “It’s her! It’s really her!”
Haruhi muttered, “…This is the dumbest play ever.”
Kyoya’s voice cut in smoothly: “And thus, the Prince found his Cinderella at last.”
The final backdrop dropped papier mâché stained glass windows and a crooked cardboard chapel. Someone in the art club had even drawn stick figure angels with glitter halos.
Kyoya’s voice carried smoothly:
“And so, the Prince wed his beloved Cinderella…”
Tamaki burst onto stage in a ridiculous crown and a cape twice his size. “AT LAST! MY DREAM COME TRUE!”
The twins, in their stepsister wigs, wailed in unison. “NOOO! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN US!” They collapsed to the ground, fake sobbing so loud the microphones peaked.
Then, mid wail, Hikaru yanked Kaoru’s wig.
“You hogged the spotlight!”
Kaoru screeched and yanked back.
The two rolled across the stage, full catfight mode, wigs flying.
Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose and narrated anyway:
“The evil stepsisters wept bitterly…”
Renge barged onto the stage in full evil stepmother mode. “SILENCE, CHILDREN! THIS IS A WEDDING NOT A HAIR-PULLING CONTEST!”
The audience roared.
As the “ceremony” began, Kyoya opened his script to read the final narration. But taped inside was a neon pink sticky note in Tamaki’s handwriting:
“Dearest Kyoya, if you do not read the lines as written, I shall sing Opera directly beside your ear every morning with maximum speakers. Yours truly, the Prince.”
Kyoya froze, his lips tightening. “…Unbelievable.”
Haruhi glanced over suspiciously. “What’s wrong?”
Kyoya snapped the book shut. “Nothing. Continue.
Tamaki grabbed Haruhi’s hands dramatically. “My beloved Cinderella, will you”
Before he could continue, Haruhi interrupted. “Can we hurry this up? I want to eat my tuna.”
The audience exploded.
Tamaki twitched, but pressed on. “WILL YOU BE MINE FOREVER?”
“…Sure.”
Tamaki almost fainted on the spot.
Kyoya read in a perfectly dry tone:
“And so, the Prince and Cinderella sealed their love with a kiss.”
They froze
Haruhi blinked. “Wait. What?”
“That wasn’t in rehearsal!” the twins shouted, scandalized.
Even Mori raised an eyebrow.
Honey, mid bite of his cake at the side of the stage, choked. “Mmph!” He coughed furiously, eyes wide.
Tamaki, meanwhile, looked like his soul had left his body and ascended to heaven. “A… a kiss…”
And he lean to Haruhi ready to smooch Haruhi but Haruhi places her hand on his face and sighed, held out her tuna can to Mori. “Hold this for me.”
Then pecked Tamaki on the cheek.
Tamaki froze like a statue. His eyes rolled back. And thenTHUD!
he collapsed flat onto the stage.
The crowd screamed with laughter and applause.
Kyoya, perfectly calm: “…And so, they lived happily ever after.”
The play ended to wild cheers. Backstage, everyone gathered except Tamaki, who was still unconscious on the stage floor.
The twins pouted. “Not fair! We want cheek kisses too!”
Haruhi, already reaching for her tuna can, muttered, “…Fine.” She kissed Hikaru and Kaoru on the cheeks quickly. Both twins immediately squealed like lovestruck fangirls.
Renge popped her head in. “Me too?”
“…Whatever.” Haruhi gave her a cheek kiss. Renge smiles
Even Mori got a quiet kiss on the cheek. He only blinked once.
Finally, Haruhi walked past Kyoya. He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t.”
She did anyway. Quick peck.
Kyoya sighed heavily. “…I despise all of you.”
Later, backstage, Haruhi wandered the halls until she found Honey in the dressing room, sitting alone and eating cake with his legs swinging off the chair.
“Honey-senpai?” Haruhi asked. “Why aren’t you with everyone else earlier?”
Honey pouted faintly. “…I was busy with my cake."
Haruhi tilted her head. “You didn’t get one kiss on a cheek?”
"A kiss on a cheek" he brighten and pout "I want one too"
She stepped closer, hands on her hips. “Then I guess you’ll get one now.”
He perked up, leaning forward slightly
But instead, Haruhi cupped his face in both hands and leaned in, kissing him square on the lips. Once. Twice. Then again and again, rapid and unrelenting, until Honey made a muffled squeak.
“Mmph Haru chan I can’t breathe!” he gasped between kisses.
Haruhi finally pulled back, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. “That’s for being the cutest fairygodmother ever.”
Honey’s face turned scarlet. “ ohh and Y you were really pretty as Cinderella, Haru chan.”
“Yeah?” Haruhi teased and Honey nodded.
She
leans in to kiss him again.
“Mm Haru chan! I said I can’t breathe!”
Outside the dressing room, Mori stood guard as usual. His expression was neutral, but the tips of his ears glowed bright red. He adjusted his stance stoically, pretending he wasn’t hearing the smack smack smack of nonstop kisses from inside ,squeaks of his cousin and the protest of can't breathe.
The play might have ended, but the chaos of the Host Club never would.
END.
Notes:
I hope you like it.....
KastaciaBlueheart on Chapter 1 Fri 04 Jul 2025 07:19PM UTC
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avilio_L on Chapter 1 Sat 05 Jul 2025 10:00AM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 1 Fri 18 Jul 2025 10:17PM UTC
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itsamaravossofficiall (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 04 Sep 2025 08:39PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 2 Fri 18 Jul 2025 10:20PM UTC
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RexiaXIV on Chapter 3 Thu 17 Jul 2025 07:25PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 4 Fri 18 Jul 2025 10:30PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 5 Fri 18 Jul 2025 10:34PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 9 Fri 18 Jul 2025 10:43PM UTC
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Laylee_Strange on Chapter 9 Mon 21 Jul 2025 04:04AM UTC
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avilio_L on Chapter 9 Wed 23 Jul 2025 08:07PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 10 Mon 21 Jul 2025 01:56PM UTC
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avilio_L on Chapter 10 Wed 23 Jul 2025 08:05PM UTC
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kimbert on Chapter 11 Wed 23 Jul 2025 09:21PM UTC
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avilio_L on Chapter 11 Sun 27 Jul 2025 08:45AM UTC
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Saggita on Chapter 11 Wed 23 Jul 2025 09:32PM UTC
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avilio_L on Chapter 11 Sun 27 Jul 2025 08:46AM UTC
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