Chapter Text
It had been only a few days since Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw left on a journey. Leafpaw could still remember exactly what they told her in their little meeting in the forest.
They told her about how Brambleclaw and three other cats from other Clans received dreams: Tawnypelt from ShadowClan, Feathertail from RiverClan, and Crowpaw from—
“Ugh, don’t even get me started on Crowpaw,” Squirrelpaw complained with a lash of her tail. “We only met him twice, and I’m pretty sure he already hates our guts.” She let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “I hope this adventure isn’t going to be a pain if he’s going to be part of it!”
“Come on, now,” said Brambleclaw in a level tone. Often a voice of reason, he was something of a big brother figure to Leafpaw and Squirrelpaw. Leafpaw always found herself feeling looked after around him. “You’d be upset too if you were in his position, wouldn’t you? And besides, you’re always free to stay and, you know, not blackmail me into letting you come along…”
“No way!” pouted Squirrelpaw. “I’m coming and that’s that.”
“Then won’t you try to not complain about the cats we’ll be traveling with…?”
“I’m just saying!” Squirrelpaw objected. “He could stand to be nicer about things, that’s all. I can’t imagine he has any friends in WindClan, and if I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t want to be his friend either.”
When Leafpaw and Brambleclaw gave Squirrelpaw a disapproving look, she thankfully had the sense to look sheepish. “Okay, maybe that was a little mean of me…”
“A little?” Brambleclaw mumbled, shaking his head. Then, he turned to the healer apprentice. “Anyway, Leafpaw—”
“You want me to keep this secret?” she guessed. Brambleclaw nodded.
“Okay,” she agreed. “But be careful.”
Things hadn’t been too great in the days since Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw left. Firestar had already sent three patrols out to search for them, and not a single one of them returned with the missing cats. Leafpaw knew that her father wouldn’t plan on dropping the search for his missing daughter any time soon, and it wasn’t easy to pretend like she didn’t know that she left.
It felt like lying every time she told someone that she didn’t know where Squirrelpaw left. Even though that was technically true — neither Squirrelpaw nor Brambleclaw gave her that information, and Leafpaw didn’t feel like she was at liberty to ask — it still felt disingenuous.
The apprentice’s den was the most restless. Shrewpaw was Squirrelpaw’s best friend (besides Leafpaw, of course), and he was distraught when she “went missing.”
“Things are really boring around here now,” Shrewpaw complained to Leafpaw and Whitepaw in the healer's den after stepping on a thorn. “No offense to you, Whitepaw.”
“None taken.”
“But she’s the only one who has any sense of adventure, y’know?”
“How right you are,” Leafpaw mumbled. When Shrewpaw and Whitepaw looked at her, she realised she had said that out loud.
"Leafpaw?” Shrewpaw asked. “Did you say some— ow!” Leafpaw had pulled the thorn out of Shrewpaw’s paw without warning. “Couldn’t you have warned me?”
When Whitepaw giggled, Leafpaw sighed. That had been too close. They might have suspected that she knew all along.
Though, Leafpaw found herself agreeing with Shrewpaw. Without her sister, who else would she hang out with?
I guess I could ask Sorreltail, she thought, watching Shrewpaw lick his bleeding paw pad. The tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat, recently made a warrior alongside her littermates, had told her that she wouldn’t know what it would be like if she lost one of her brothers, that she would miss Sootfur’s outgoing nature or Rainwhisker’s humour.
Then, she thought better of it. She seems to be getting closer to Brackenfur.
Leafpaw was happy for her friend, and she didn’t want to get in the way of her potential romance, but she still felt like she didn’t have anyone to talk to about nothing in particular. I’m glad I’m a healer, she mused. If this is what romance does to friendship, I wouldn’t want any part of it.
Who else would Leafpaw have to talk to? She trusted her parents, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to have general conversations without the topic of her missing sister being brought up immediately. Cinderpelt, her mentor, would be ruled out too, since Leafpaw didn’t want anything she talked about to affect her healer training.
Leafpaw grimaced. Oh, right. Cinderpelt.
Cinderpelt had been a bit cross with Leafpaw for not paying attention recently. She appreciated that her mentor was tough on her, but sometimes, it felt like she was a little too tough, especially under these circumstances. Maybe Cinderpelt was tough on her because it was the same for her training under Yellowfang? Or maybe she was tough on her because she was the leader’s daughter and, as his friend and former apprentice and healer, she didn’t want to disappoint him? Or maybe she was tough on her because that’s how all healers are trained? Or maybe—
A young tom’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Leafpaw?”
Leafpaw snapped back to reality. Shrewpaw and Whitepaw were still where they were. “Er, yes?” she answered weakly.
“I can go now, right?” Shrewpaw asked, his tail flicking a bit impatiently. His pad had stopped bleeding by now.
“Uh…yes?” She didn’t think there was anything else. Or…was there something else I’m forgetting? I’m pretty sure I did this right, but…
Shrewpaw brightened. “Thanks, Leafpaw!” Standing up on three paws, he gave a short “see you later!” and hobbled off to the apprentices den, with Whitepaw helping him balance himself.
Leafpaw blinked. She was sure she had done all the steps of a procedure as simple as this, but yet—
“Leafpaw,” a voice cut in. Leafpaw turned to see Cinderpelt at the den entrance. “You forgot to put a poultice on Shrewpaw’s paw.”
Leafpaw winced at the realisation.
Oh. That’s what it was.
Leafpaw padded into camp feeling dejected. She had been told off by Cinderpelt for forgetting something relatively simple, and she felt awful. She wasn’t cruel by any means, but Cinderpelt wasn’t known for mincing words — probably a trait she picked up from her mentor.
Bored, she wanted to see what Sorreltail was up to, and was disappointed in herself when she forgot that Sorreltail was too busy flirting with Brackenfur. Rainwhisker, Sorreltail’s brother, seemed to be somewhat interested in the interaction, as he was lazily watching from a short distance away with an eye closed. Without thinking much about it, Leafpaw padded over to where Rainwhisker was lying down and sat next to him.
When Rainwhisker noticed her, he gave a small wave with his tail without turning his head. “How are you today, Leafpaw?”
To Leafpaw, Rainwhisker was the relaxed, laid-back type of cat that anyone could talk to about anything. She didn’t really know him on a personal level, though, so she felt a little reluctant to start venting to him out of the blue. Still, she knew she would feel better if she talked to someone.
“Not great,” she sighed. “I messed up something trivial. Again.”
Rainwhisker frowned. “Sorry to hear that,” he offered. “Anything on your mind?”
“Er…yeah. How’d you know?”
He shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense to me. Cats tend to slip up when they’re stressed out.” Turning to her, he added, “I don’t suppose it would be accurate to say that you’re worried about your sister?”
“Yeah…” Leafpaw sighed again, slumping against Rainwhisker. Rainwhisker just laid his head down and closed his other eye. He didn’t seem to mind.
“Cinderpelt giving you a hard time?”
“Well…” Leafpaw wasn’t sure. “Kinda? I mean, I wasn’t paying attention, so it was entirely my fault that I didn’t treat Shrewpaw correctly — even if it was a minor injury — but it’s still frustrating. If that makes sense?”
Rainwhisker hummed in acknowledgement. “I imagine you wanted to talk to Sorreltail today, but it looks like she’s a bit busy.”
“Yeah.” Before Leafpaw knew it, she had ended up venting to this cat after all. But at least it made her feel a bit better.
“I’m kind of concerned that Sorreltail won’t have time for me anymore,” she admitted as she watched her friend laugh at a joke Brackenfur made. Actually, from the looks of things, he had probably just said something vaguely funny — Brackenfur seemed a bit confused, but he still had a small smile on his face.
“I’m happy for her, I really am,” she continued, “but it feels like I just don’t really have anyone to connect with anymore.”
“Well, you’re talking to me,” Rainwhisker pointed out with a yawn. “I don’t mind listening to you talk about whatever.”
“You mean it?”
“Sure.”
Leafpaw smiled. “Thanks, Rainwhisker. It means a lot.”