Chapter 1: Was I not all you were dreaming of?
Chapter Text
The chapel was simmering in anxious impatience, one of the very few occasions where the room was used for its ritual purpose. Siblings of sin milled around, excited to witness a summoning for the second time in less than a year. The ghouls stood close together by the summoning circle. Unlike the siblings, they were still and quiet, aside from the impatient flick of their tails.
Solaris was the first ghoul summoned by the newest Papa, Perpetua, just after the human’s celebration of Yule. The ghoulette had bonded quickly with the pack, to everyone’s relief, and had adjusted well to her new life topside. Seven months later, the antipope had announced that there would be a second summoning, another ghoul was needed in the band for the second leg of V’s first tour.
There was hush as Perpetua swept into the room, coming to a sharp halt in front of the summoning circle just shy of the flickering candles that had already begun to pool black wax onto the stone floor. Papa’s face did not betray his nerves, but his hands did, the tremor barely visible to anyone but the sharp-eyed demons who had come to stand either side of him.
Under his breath at first, the chant began, slowly but surely growing louder as the candlelight flared, sputtering sparks across the floor. The ghouls joined the chant one by one, their voices melodic next to the human antipope.
Within minutes, the summoning circle began to glow, softly changing from golden flames to an icy, blue light the colour of sea glass. Tendrils of mist crept from the centre of the circle as a the spell began to pull another demon from the pits. All eyes were glued to the circle, waiting with bated breath as it thickened and swirled.
Suddenly, the mist dissipated, dropping to curl its way along the floor to join the smoke from the now extinguished candles. In its place was a figure. A ghoul, curled in on itself, spaded tail limp on the floor next to it. It lay still, and it took longer than it should have for anyone to notice the shallow rise and fall of its chest. Next to Perpetua the ghouls peered forward, their concern visible. Something was wrong. There was rarely a time when a summon wouldn’t immediately attempt to either fight or intimidate its summoners, or flee back into the pits, made impossible by the fact there was no way to return without another spell. They never turned up like the one now laying before them.
“Is it dead?” A sibling queried, only to be roughly scolded into silence by the sister at their side.
Perpetua made to step forward into the circle towards the creature, but a hand on his arm pulled him sharply back. Aether’s eye weren’t on him, still focused on the ghoul.
Slowly, achingly so, the ghoul raised its head slightly to glare over its arms, hiding the rest of their face. Two wide, luminous eyes bore into Perpetua’s, with a start he realised the stare was almost a reverse of his own mismatched gaze.
Its tail snapped against the floor, eyes scanning the chapel. The ghouls stared back at it, waiting with patient curiosity as they each fell under the summon’s eyes.
“You are safe here Tesoro, no one here means you any harm.” Perpetua’s voice was low and cautious.
Next to him, Cirrus stepped forward, a mask in her hands, matching the ones each of the ghouls present were wearing, metallic, readable silver. Crouching, the tall ghoulette placed it on the edge of the circle, stepping back just as quickly. Without hesitation the new ghoul snatched the mask and had it fitted over their face before anyone got a chance to see their face in its entirety.
Mask in place, it pulled itself to its feet.
The ghoul was thin, almost corpse like. Where there should have been softness or gentle curves, sharp bones protruded beneath almost glass-like skin, a pale grey that deepened to black at its fingers, feet, tail and ears and short, pointed horns that poked from behind their mask. Their hair looked as though it had once been black but had long since grown out white with only the very tips still remaining dark. It framed their face in a wispy halo of soft, short waves, two longer pieces led into twin braids that reached the middle of their chest. One eye was a dark, ink colored pool and the other was a pale grey, not too dissimilar from the papal hetrochromia.
There was a pause, the new ghoul shifted uneasily on its feet, clearly uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the whole ministry.
Perpetua extended a hand towards the summon, offering to help it out of the circle of burnt out wax, but retracted it instantly as it startled and stepped back, arms raised defensively. To save the new papa from embarrassment, Aether stepped forward instead.
“You’re scared, it’s okay, but Papa”, he gestured to Perpetua, “is right, you’re safe here. I am Aether, a quintessence ghoul, and the other ghouls standing next to me are my pack, and yours too now.”
The ghoul listened as Aether spoke the same way one might to a lost puppy, head tilted to show his words were heard.
“If you want to follow us, we can get you settled in, find you some clothes and food.”
The ghoul seemed to think for a moment but nodded, allowing itself to be led from the chapel by the other ghouls.
After a quick pause to find some soft new clothes for the summon, the current band members assembled in the common room, each briefly introducing themselves and explaining the reason the ghoul had been summoned. The ghoul, perched on the arm of an empty armchair listened closely but stayed silent.
“So what’s your name? What would you like us to call you?” Aurora asked, tired of waiting and impatient to hear the ghouls voice, but the question is met with a vacant stare and more silence.
“Have you got a voice? A name? Pronouns…” the ghoulette trailed off as it became clear the newest was committed to its silence.
The room lapsed into an awkward silence as the bandmates made frantic eye contact, trying to decipher the ghoul.
Void. They. It. It doesn’t matter.
The words weren't spoken, the ghouls hands spoke for them instead.
“Void?”
The ghoul’s eyes pierced into Auroras. They nodded.
My name is Void
The tension in the room began to ease slightly. It was a start. A name, and words of sorts.
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The next morning, the pack were wide awake and milling around in the common room the second the sun crept above the horizon.
Everyone had trailed off to bed after it became clear that Void was not keen to communicate. Everyone held a silent hope that Void would be a less closed off, but it usually took a few days for a new summon to become comfortable in both their new surroundings and their new body.
The many speculations of the ghouls died in an instant as the kettle boiled with a hiss and Aurora yelped as Void seemed to materialise in the doorway. No one had heard its footsteps and not even the quintessence ghouls with their heightened awareness had sensed them approach.The ghoul had clearly found their uniform; black pants and shirt, balaclava covering the only part of their face that would have been visible under their mask.
“Good morning Void, how are you feeling? Did you sleep well? Would you like some tea?”
It blinked at the barrage of questions from the bubbly multi ghoulette. It nodded at the offering of tea but gave no other reply.
The ghoulette passed a steaming cup to them, warning them that the liquid was far too hot to drink. Their gaze stayed focused, almost mesmerised by the steam rising from their cup. Curling into one of the many common room armchairs, they watched as their new pack chatted. Their fawn-like ears were on alert, listening keenly.
“So,” Solaris’ voice was bright and curious. “what kind of ghoul are you? What element?”
Void didn’t move, but their eyes flicked up to meet Solaris’. The ghoulette was striking, tall and slender with blueish skin, so delicate it seemed almost translucent, shifting into a cooler blue at her fingertips, feet and her piscine ears and tail. Her eyes were an icy blue, almost white, bordered by eyelashes that matched her iridescent blue hair in two long braids that would normally reach past her knees but was pooled at her side from where she was sitting on the floor. Her pearly horns were similar in shape to those of an addax, but shorter.
There was something in Void’s stare that softened slightly, whatever reaction accompanied it hidden under their mask. Solaris didn’t push, but the ghoul tore their eyes off her and set down their cup.
Like you, many elements
“You’re a multi ghoul?” Swiss demanded and Aurora’s ears pricked up as well, the pair clearly excited to have yet another multi around.
But Void had already picked up their cup and that put an end to any more communication on their end.
An attempt to offer some breakfast was turned down, the same way it had the night before and despite their concerns, again they didn’t push. The ghoulettes spent the morning showing Void around the Ministry, where they held rehearsals, each of the ghouls respective rooms and the papal quarters, briefing it on the general rules and regulations they would be expected to adhere to. It listened carefully, but kept quiet, keeping a few feet of distance between themself and anyone near them. In comparison to the day before, they seemed much less skittish.
It was when they all returned to the common room that things went downhill.
A hiss from behind Void made them spin around, and it backed away at the sight of Dewdrop, leaning in the doorframe, fiery eyes locked on the new summon.
“So, voidling, where’s your voice? Why so shy hmm? Got something to hide?” The words were spat.
“Dew, drop it. Now.” Aether’s tone was warning, but the fire ghoul ignored him, stalking up to stand nose to nose with Void.
They held their ground, staring into the unmasked face before them. The fire ghoul would have matched them in height had the multi not cowered slightly. Dewdrop was albino, his freckled skin, pin straight hair, and short horns all ghostly in contrast to his all black uniform. His orange eyes swirled with flame and narrowed in a glare. Pretty if not for the ugly snarl. Dew jabbed a finger in the centre of its chest, sharp tail flicking, but by the time he had opened his mouth to snarl in Void’s face once more Swiss had crossed the room and tore him back. Void spun and fled from the room.
“Dew what the fuck? What possessed you to do that?” Swiss’s voice was sharp with frustration. The fire ghoul didn’t answer, huffing and pushing him off. The tension in the room became uncomfortable. Dew crossed his arms over his chest.
“There’s something wrong with them. You all fucking know it.”
“Not every summon adjusts well, Dew, you know that, you’ve been here to see almost all of us summoned. We were lucky with Solaris, and with most of us, yes. You throwing a tantrum does nothing helpful.” Swiss’ voice was laced with fury. Dew wasn’t wrong, Void’s behaviour was worrying, but no excuse for the fire ghoul’s unwelcome attack.
When Void did reappear, hours later, it was in the same way as before. Deathly silent and seemingly from nowhere, they were suddenly sitting on the wide windowsill looking out across the grounds. They turned down yet another meal but accepted a cup of tea.
The following days were much the same, the ghouls followed their routine with their new shadow, who ate very little and spoke even less. They signed when they weren’t able to nod or shake their head, but even the signs were kept to a minimum. Despite the regulations in the ministry requiring ghouls to keep their faces covered with the human members bar Papa and Frater, the rule did not extend to their own wing and most of the ghouls opted to only wear the heavy silver masks when absolutely necessary. Void hadn’t yet removed theirs, ignoring the assurances from their pack mates that there would be no judgment if that was what worried them. A clichéd rumour of terrible scarring was started, but life in the pits was far from gentle and many of the ghouls in the ministry had their fair share of scars. By the end of their first week, they were still as much of a mystery as when they had been summoned.
“Tomorrow we have a ritual rehearsal, Papa would like you to be there. You wont have to play, but it will help you get used to the idea of performing.” Cirrus explained to Void as they drifted off to their rooms - or crept off into someone else’s. The ghoul nodded and turned towards their room, but hesitated. When they turned to look back at Cirrus she paused, expectant, but Void simply stared at her.
It was as if it hadn’t truly looked at her until now, drinking in every detail of the ghoulette’s face, her grey skin, plush lips bisected by a silver lip ring to accompany the piercings adorning her ears, white hair tinged with green falling in short waves to frame her soft face, with luminous blueish-green eyes framed by spidery, pale eyelashes. A smattering of pale freckles dusted her cheeks and nose. Her horns were medium length and curved ever so slightly backwards, a stony grey. Ironically she looked almost angelic. Void seemed to realize how long they had been staring and blinked quickly, breaking the moment.
Goodnight Cir
They disappeared into their room, but not before Cirrus noticed the pink at the tips of their ears.
Chapter 2: All the things that never gave you peace
Notes:
Just another warning before you read!!!
The first half of this chapter briefly mentions an off-page death that is not elaborated upon. The second half of this chapter centres around an attempted suicide, detail of blood and blades. The second half of the chapter is separated by a page break, so if you would like to read the first part and have a summary of the key points at the end of the chapter please do so. There is absolutely no pressure, don't push yourself through something you don't feel up to.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The rehearsal space was humming with activity when Void followed their bandmates in the following morning. Several of the ghouls who had been in the band previously were wandering around, helping a few siblings of sin to set up the room for the morning. Two of the siblings, clearly new stood gaping at Mountain with poorly concealed awe. The giant played them no mind as he took his place at the drums.
After some shuffling and an endless amount of chatter, the ghouls took up their instruments. Perpetua hurried to his own place in the centre from where he had been deep in discussion with a sister of sin.
“Alright! Are we all ready? Yes, yes, good.” The antipope blustered, checking everything and everyone was where it needed to be. “Ah! Void, good morning tesoro.”
The ghoul stood off to one side, a guitar clutched in their hands. Aether had appeared with it a moment earlier, informing them that they didn’t need to play it but to get used to the feel of it. The multi clung to it like a glossy black lifeline. At Perpetua’s greeting they bowed their head and signed a quick thank you.
After some back and forth, the decision was made to start with Kiss the Go Goat.
Aether, even without a position in the band, had come to help out, and now stood to Void’s left, still giving them plenty of space. Despite the packs fear that the bright lights and sharp noise would make it unbearable for it, Void’s tail swished and their nails tapped a rhythm against the guitar.
“It ain’t always what it seems, when you cling onto a dream…”
Aether sucked in a sharp breath as his gaze fell on their face, or really their mouth. Their balaclava was missing from their face, and even still under their mask, their lips were visible, mouthing along silently, matching Perpetua word for word.
Satan, Lucifer, osculum obscenum!
They knew every single word to a song they had surely never heard before. He realised quickly it wasn’t just the one song; they knew them all. Their mimicry of the antipope was subtle, there was no melodic voice to accompany it, but it did nothing to stem Aether’s bewilderment.
The second he was able to find a moment where the multi ghoul wasn’t in the room he blurted out his discovery to the rest of the pack.
“But how? Did anyone give them the lyrics?”
There was a chorus of negatives. The pack shared Aether’s confusion.
“Maybe one of us left our music somewhere, they could have read it?”
It was a stretch, but without any other suggestions, they could only wonder until the ghoul decided to explain themself.
Any further speculation died as Void reappeared from nowhere, picking up the tepid cup of tea they had forgotten about that morning.
“Void?” The ghoul looked up at Aether, who paused before continuing.
“Do you know the songs that we play?”
Void looked at them all then turned their eyes back to their tea. They nodded, gaze flicking from face to face to see how their answer was received.
“How?” But Void only shrugged, fixated on the pattern the steam formed in response to their breath. The other ghouls didn’t notice, too focused on the vague and frustrating answer. Dewdrop noticed.
The next rehearsal was a repeat of the first, until the first violent bars of Faith rippled through the rehearsal space. Dewdrop stalked, still playing, towards Void. Its tail stilled as the fire ghoul came to stand directly in front of them, a smirk on his face.
“Do you know the song?” Dew demanded.
“I am all eyes.”
“You seem to know this, voidling, can you play?”
“I am all ears.”
Void shied away, clutching the guitar to their chest. Behind them, Aether looked ready to drag Dew off the stage then and there.
“Do you know the solo?”
“Dew knock it off.”
“I am the wall, and I’m watching you fall.”
Miming defeat, Dew dropped his hands from his own guitar, showing he wasn’t going to play. He looked expectantly at Void, nodding to the guitar they held.
“Because faith. Is. Mine!”
At the last possible second their hands found their place on the fretboard. Without hesitation they picked up the solo Dew had abandoned. Flawlessly. Everything in them relaxed, focused on the hum of the instrument under their touch. The solo end and it looked like a switch had flipped, their body language returned to normal and they gripped the guitar against them.
Dew, and Aether stared dumbly at each other, bewildered. Aether looked up to see Perpetua’s equally surprised expression from across the room as the singer faltered with his words. Dew spun around and returned to playing as if nothing had happened.
“Because Faith. Is. Mine!”
The song had barely ended and the ghouls were on top of Void in an instant. There was a clamour of praise and confusion, everyone speaking over the top of one another as Void blinked in the bright light. Aurora pressed a kiss to the side of their mask and its ears turned pink.
It wasn’t until they were all halfway back to their rooms that Void paused and turned to face them.
The music, the band. I know it. I loved it, the songs, Papa, you.
They tipped their face downwards.
I saw you perform, a long time ago.
The group looked at each other, confused, but before anyone could open their mouth to ask, Void continued.
I wasn’t born in the pits. I was born topside.
“What happened?” Phantom ventured, but immediately wished he hadn’t. Void kept their eyes on the floor like they wanted to sink into it.
I died.
----------
Nobody spoke until Void had left the common room some time later. The ghoul had kept their eyes down, ignoring the looks from the others.
“I didn’t know not all ghouls were hell born.” Phantom admitted eventually from where he was lying across Mountain’s lap.
“It’s rare, but not impossible. Sometimes humans die and become ghouls in their afterlife, but the chances of one being summoned are close to none.” Dew glared out the window as he spoke. “It doesn’t really make them all that different from any of us, but it does explain why they didn’t have the clumsy awkward phase we all went through trying to get used to a new body.”
“Do they remember their life topside?” Aurora asked quietly.
The pack turned to look at Dew. Summoned before any of the others, the water turned fire ghoul knew more than most, from a combination of lived experience and his talent for being in the right place at the right time to overhear even the most obscure of secrets.
“I doubt it. If they do it would only be very little.”
He sighed.
“I think maybe that’s why.”
“Why what?”
“I think that they’re so closed off because they aren’t used to being a ghoul , but they don’t remember how to be human either. It’s halfway in between.”
“So what they’ve been doing-“
“Is watching, trying to work out how to exist.”
Dew turned, walking towards the door.
“They know how to use their elements, by the way, they just aren’t making it obvious. The tea, yesterday.”
He stifled a scream when he turned to find Void in the doorway. Composing himself, he snarled and pushed past them. Void watched him go. When they returned their attention to the rest of the pack their eyes betrayed them, but however much they’d heard of the conversation they didn’t let on.
The silence stretched awkwardly.
Dewdrop isn’t wrong, not completely.
Void didn’t clarify which part of what Dew had said was right, and without knowing how much they had heard it could have been anything.
He hates me
Its eyes made it a question.
“Dew has been here forever. He’s like this to most new summons, it takes a while to adjust. Not just for him. He will get used to you.”
You’re patient. I’m not supposed to be here
“You’re part of our pack, we want you here Void.”
That’s not true
“Is it that hard to believe that we want you?”
The multi flinched. Even though Aurora’s words were gentle, there was pain hidden underneath.
I can’t be the way you want me to. You’re asking me things I can’t answer and waiting for me to do things I can’t. I want to, I do
“What do you mean?”
I can’t, I’m sorry
Rain, who had been standing closest to them, took a step towards Void. It was meant to be to comfort it, but without warning Void raised their hands, fingertips glowing with crackling energy. The water ghoul took an immediate step backward. Voids distress was palpable, it didn’t take quintessence to feel it. Watching the ghouls expressions become uncertain at its display of defensiveness. They sucked a sharp breath in through their teeth and dropped their hands.
I won’t hurt you, i swear to you, but please don’t touch me
No one knew what to do. The room froze, poised to move if they needed to. They might have stood there for hours if they hadn’t been interrupted by frantic knocking, causing them all to nearly leap out of their skin.
When none of them moved to answer it, it was flung open to reveal a Sister of Sin, her makeup ruined by tears. She looked terrified.
“I-“
She was struggling to breathe.
“My lo- my friend, another sister, I can’t find her.”
In her hand was a piece of paper, crumpled under her frightened grip. Beautiful cursive writing was visible to the ghouls sharp eyesight.
Not wanting to add to the girl’s distress, Cumulus stepped forward, coming to lay a gentle hand on the sister’s shoulder.
“Do you know where she might have gone? Have you told Papa?”
The sister began to sob, trying to form words that wouldn’t come. The reaction seemed a little extreme for someone who could have just been running errands or some such.
Void’s eyes flicked from the distraught sister to the letter in her hand. It tilted its head to get a better look at the tear stained paper.
“My dearest love, know that it isn’t your fault, but do not come looking for me, please,…”
Suddenly the situation clicked. Void’s expression transformed into one of horror. Searching the face of the girl, her eyes confirmed their suspicion. The girl’s legs gave way and Cumulus wrapped her arms around her to stop her from dropping like a ragdoll.
Making sure their hands weren’t in view of the sister being rocked by the air ghoulette, Void turned to the rest of the room.
She isn’t just missing. She is going to try and leave
“Leave…?”
Void didn’t clarify, but they all realised what it meant.
Several things happened in quick succession. Aurora grabbed Solaris and the pair sprinted to inform Perpetua. Rain sped away to find Dewdrop, Aether to find any of the older ghouls. Cumulus, still cradling the sister vanished with Cirrus to take her to the infirmary. Phantom, Swiss and Mountain remained with Void, who stared back at them, seeing its fear reflected in their faces.
It took less than five minutes for Aether to return with a collection of the older ghouls, and only seconds more for them all to be joined by Dew, Rain and Perpetua, who looked dishevelled, papal paint half removed. He had clearly been dragged directly from his rooms by the two multi ghoulettes.
Wordlessly the water ghouls peeled off to scour the grounds towards the lake, the air ghouls to the rooftops. Those that remained spread across the ministry, everyone moving as fast as they possibly could. Very quickly, they were joined by siblings of sin and other members of staff, their mutual panic growing with every second that passed.
Void stayed close to one of the previous band members, Chain, struggling with the unfamiliarity of the huge complex. When they reached the end of a corridor, they looked at their options: a smaller doorway to their left led up a set of steep wooden stairs, and to their right another door led through to a triforium. They split, Void taking the stairs two at a time, Chain vanishing through the second doorway.
The stairs climbed their way to the very top of the building, and Void soon found themself in another maze of attic space. They picked up speed, opening and closing doors as quickly as they could manage. As they neared the steps at the end of the corridor, a sharp, metallic smell hit them, and their quick steps turned into a sprint.
Their heart stuttered at the sight of something crumpled in the pool of light that spilled from the bell tower. It was not a something at all, they realised with horror as they heard the Sister of Sin half murmuring, half sobbing something that sounded like a prayer, or a lullaby.
Void rushed to kneel beside the young woman, who was on her knees, a hand to her chest and another supporting her trembling weight. Two brown eyes stared up into Void’s, surprise invading the evident pain. The eye contact lasted until the sister took another rattling breath and retched. It was then that Void noticed a glint of something metallic in the sister’s hand. A knife. She was holding a knife. Another wave of retching overtook the girl and she dropped the hand from her chest to the floor to keep from falling forward and Void could suddenly see why. The knife was not in her bloodied hand, but buried between her ribs.
Void reached for her the same moment the dying sister collapsed, stopped from hitting the cold stone by the multi ghoul’s arms. The world seemed to swirl around Void as they maneuvered them both to cradle the sister the same way Cumulus had done with the girl earlier. Everything was stained, drowned in blood, and holding her this close Void could hear the stuttering, slowing heartbeat. The saccharine smell of blood threatened to overwhelm it.
They would never find them both in time.
The ghoul began to sob, rocking the sister as her blood pooled on the floor around them both. They tipped their face down to look at her, but this time their gaze fell on closed eyes.
They screamed. They couldn’t form words, only a shrill, piercing wail that they prayed would be heard by someone searching nearby, that a quintessence ghoul would feel their anguish and trace them to the attic.
Still crying, they murmured a few words of prayer, brushing a lock of hair away from her face with a bloodstained hand. Pressing their hand to the point where the blade pierced the sister’s flesh, they felt themself slipping somewhere in their mind, and they fought to stay there, keeping their eyes on the girl who was by now far beyond consciousness.
Void pressed its eyes shut and swallowed the pitiful noise had caught in their throat. They forced themself to breathe, first one breath, then another, then another. They thought about the letter in the first sister’s hand, the ink nearly illegible from the stains of her tears.
“My dearest love,”
Void’s eyes flickered.
“know that it isn’t your fault,”
They wrapped their arms around the girl’s body, clutching her to their chest.
“but do not come looking for me, please, it is better that you do not find me.”
Their hands glowed, emanating a soft blue light, matching their eyes. The girl was dead, but Void didn’t let go.
“You are the most wonderful gift the world has ever offered me, and though it pains me to leave you like this, I am tired my love.”
Void could hear their own heartbeat, loud in their ears. Curling themself over the body in their arms they focused their whole being on the magic that now flowed from their fingers, through their veins, glittering in the air around them.
“Thank you for all you have done for me.”
Their heartbeat was joined by another, weak, almost imperceptible, but there.
Notes:
Thank you for reading!
For anyone who skipped the second half, here is a quick summary:
- The ghouls discuss Void and it appears out of nowhere to try and give an angsty and vague explanation that only makes everyone more confused
- An unnamed Sister of Sin interrupts the conversation pleading for help looking for her 'friend' (they're girlfriends your honour)
- The ghouls, Papa, Frater and siblings search the ministry looking for the sister
- Void finds the sister and is able to save herThat's it!
I caved and created a Tumblr account, so if anyone wants to chat my user is the same over there :)
(If anyone knows how to use Tumblr send help I'm begging I'm genuinely so confused)
Chapter 3: Can't you see that you're lost?
Notes:
I apologise in advance for what is going to be an angst/hurt very little comfort chapter, but I'll try to make it up to you with a soft chapter next (I say that like I didn't spend half my day in between medical appointments writing and kicking my feet).
Quick warnings: this chapter again discusses the death in the previous chapter, the first half is the events directly after and contains descriptions of death, blood and fainting/unconsciousness, but nothing too in-depth. Again, your mental health comes first, if you're not in a headspace for it, there's no pressure my loves.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Void only realized that there were other people around them when hands reached for the girl in its arms, trying to gently pull her away from the multi ghoul’s grip. They snarled. Refusing to relinquish their hold they kept her cradled close.
“Let her go, it’s okay Void.”
The words didn’t register, the voice was warped by the dizzying overwhelm roaring in its ears. A hand was placed cautiously on their shoulder and they hissed, tail lashing.
It was only when the sister was torn away from them that Void’s protection shifted into panic. Blinking, the room refused to come into focus but they could make out figures. A voice murmured something that their brain couldn’t process.
In an instant they were standing. The figures reacted at once, stepping towards them, one had their arms outstretched and Void took a wobbly step towards them, halting almost immediately. The figure who had been reaching for them moved forward, fingers grazing the multi ghoul's arm, withdrawing immediately as Void flinched.
Looking down at themself, at the blood soaking into their clothes, staining their skin. The metallic smell burned in the back of their throat. They could hear their heartbeat screaming in their ears. They couldn’t hear whether the other was still there, couldn’t see for the blurriness. Wrapping their arms around themself they watched the world tilt on its axis. Voids knees hit the floor, but they were unconscious before the pain could register.
Aurora had felt the scream more than she had heard it. Whatever she had been expecting when she had descended the bell tower stairs from the rooftop, what she had found was aeons from it. Void was knelt in a pool of cherry coloured blood, cradling the missing sister and practically illuminated from within by a kind of magic not even familiar to her. They hadn’t reacted when Aurora had approached, not when she called out for help from anyone nearby, nor when a handful of other ghouls appeared moments later. It was only when a tall quintessence ghoul tried to extricate the girl from Void’s grip that it lashed out, trying to protect the sister of sin. It was hard to tell if the girl was still alive, considering the sheer amount of blood.
“Let her go, it’s okay Void.” Aurora’s gentle plea fell on deaf ears, their eyes were glassy and vacant. The tall ghoul tried a second time to prise the body away, this time with more force. The multi’s grip relaxed more than they had clearly meant it to, as Void was standing before Aurora had blinked, but she could see and sense their mounting panic. The ghouls around her stepped forward, ready to reach for them. Aurora too had her arms outstretched, but Void halted after a single step in her direction. They shrunk in on themself instead, a gesture halfway between soothing and protection.
“Void.”
It made a noise that sounded like a sob and their eyes fluttered, suddenly dull. There was no time to react when they fell to the floor.
Void was hardly heavy, but Mountain had gently taken them from Aurora’s arms as the group made their way from the attic. Omega made a beeline for the infirmary, his pack mates following suit, but Mountain and Aurora opted for the safer option of Void’s room, hoping the familiar environment would help once it woke up.
Having barely settled in neither expected the small room to look at all lived in, but when Aurora pushed open the door they found themselves surprised. Books were spread across the desk and floor, some with dictionaries open next to them, neat ink in the margins or on loose sheets of paper. Among them were sketches, a few that were vaguely recognisable but it wasn’t the time to snoop.
Mountain set Void down on the bed, cringing at the bloodied state they were still in, but it couldn’t be helped. Gingerly he reached for their mask but thought better of it, leaving the metal in place. He focused instead on unlacing their boots, Aurora helping with the other. After some deliberation over whether one of them needed to stay with them, they settled on writing a note and quietly leaving.
----------
“They’ll wake up soon, right?”
The hours had stretched into a blur, dusk had long since passed. Despite their various states of idleness, no one was sleeping.
“They will, it might take some time though, their body probably needs time to recover from…” Mountain paused. “…whatever happened.”
The room lapsed into an uneasy silence. There had been a long discussion over the events of the evening, but too much had been left unanswered. Omega had come by hours later to update them about the sister, and her girlfriend, both in the infirmary. He too had asked questions that no one could answer, no one had witnessed the event, and the only people who had were unconscious on separate sides of the ministry. He left again with reassurances they would bring Void by when they were awake. Time crept by painfully slowly.
“Is she dead?”
The voice was accented and almost clumsy, as though they hadn’t spoken aloud in some time, or were speaking a new language entirely, turning each word over carefully as they spoke it. Despite the soft way the words were spoken, the ghouls startled, spinning around or sitting up to face the newcomer.
Cleansed of blood and wearing a soft shirt that definitely was not theirs, Void stood in the doorway. Exhaustion wasn’t betrayed by their masked face but the way they carried itself was a dead giveaway.
Their question hadn’t been answered, the shock of Void’s voice enough to be a distraction. Clearly too uncomfortable to ask aloud again, it repeated the question in sign.
Is she dead?
“No, she’s in a bad state but Omega says that she is stable.” Cirrus tried to keep her tone as gentle as possible, noting the way Void had placed an arm on the back of an armchair as if trying to support their weight.
Will she be okay?
“Omega seemed confident she would make a full recovery, albeit maybe a slow one. Her name is Lotta.”
“Lotta.” The multi ghoul murmured, almost reverent. It seemed alien, to hear them speak aloud. They played with their fingers, worrying the already scabbed skin around their nails.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Void looked through Cirrus as if the air ghoulette was made of glass. They didn’t answer the question. Turning away from the eyes of the room, they headed for the doorway.
“So you can talk.” Rain’s tone wasn’t accusatory, but the edge of pain concealed just below the surface of the words was enough to stop Void in their tracks. The silence that followed was suffocating, expectant.
“I didn’t know if I wanted to.” They said simply. They hesitated but continued, eyes averted.
“Speech is more complicated in this body. I knew the words, but when I spoke them my voice sounded like someone else’s. It was like puppeteering someone else’s corpse while I watched from their eyes.” They shuddered. “Sign was simpler, and for the most part, my words weren’t required.”
The stalled in the doorway, waiting to hear whatever bite they were sure would follow. Just as someone took a breath to begin a sentence, Void spoke again, words slow and flat.
“She died.”
“What?”
“Sister Lotta. She died, I felt it, I watched her die. Her heart stopped. I-she-.” Void spun to face them all. “She was dead! I-her heart-there was so much blood.” It looked at its hands as though still seeing them soaked, stained with red.
“She was alive when we found you holding her Void, she’s still alive.”
“That’s a fucking LIE!” The ghouls jumped as Void raised their voice. Instead of anger, their accusation was laced with uncertainty. They looked just as surprised by their outburst as the rest of the room, blinking quickly and pressing their hands over their mouth.
“Void,” This time Mountain spoke up softly. “When we found you, when Rory found you, you were holding Sister Lotta, surrounded by light, magic.” The earth ghoul’s words are measured, cautious. Void looked lost, eyes cloudy as they tried to recollect what had happened.
Dewdrop butted in instantly. “What in Satan’s name are you talking about Mount?”
Mountain looked from Void to the rest of his pack mates. “I think that Void was able to restart the sister’s heart. She died, yes, and she reeked of death when Omega took her. But by the time we got to her she was breathing and had a pulse.”
No one took their eyes off Void, and the ghoul stared back, eyes flicking from one face to another with uncertainty. The air in the room was thick with anxious tension, an invisible mist crawling into their airways, forcing the breath from the multi ghoul’s lungs. Each sharp inhale seemed to be providing insufficient oxygen.
From the corner of Dewdrops eyes he could see Aether’s expression morphing into one of pain, feeling both his own emotions and whatever his quintessence allowed of Void’s.
“Sweetheart, you’re hurting.” Aurora could feel it too, quintessence colouring her eyes with a soft violet glow, matching Aether’s, and from his spot to Dewdrop’s left, Swiss’s expression was similarly pained.
Void seemed frozen in place, unhearing, unseeing. Their eyes flickered, glassy and dull. They shivered, a movement it tried to conceal. If they were in pain, they were more than reluctant to show it, but if the expressions of the quintessence and multi ghouls was an indication, Void was more than likely to be in well disguised agony.
“Void.” Dew’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, but there was an edge to it that the others did not miss. “Sit.”
As if on cue, Void swayed gently, eyes half-lidded. An almost imperceptible shiver raced through their body, a movement they tried and failed to conceal.
This time their knees didn’t slam into the floor when their legs gave way. It took all of half a second for the fire ghoul to cross the room, arms looped under Void’s as the ghoul, fully conscious, simply gave up. They didn’t protest to the contact, not as Dew grabbed them, not when his arms wrapped gently around it, not when he let them both sink to the floor as Void’s weight nearly toppled them both. What he wasn’t anticipating was Void to lean into him, letting their head fall onto his shoulder.
They stayed like that for a long time. When he shifted slightly, involuntarily, he felt its whole body tense and he internally cringed. But, instead of pulling away, hesitant arms encircled him. His eyes darted to the faces of the others standing around him, his own surprise mirrored in their expressions.
When Void finally made a sound it was halfway between a sob and a sigh and they immediately tore themself away from Dew’s embrace, and he didn’t try to hold them there. It pushed themself up on wobbly legs and had to swing their arms out to stop them from toppling over. Behind their mask its eyes were red rimmed and glittering. Without another word they fled.
No one ran after them. They knew the ghoul had pushed themself far enough and the comfort they seemed to crave was too difficult to accept. It was just as painful to watch as it seemed to be for Void.
Notes:
On a completely unrelated note I need to mention I completely believe in the Ao3 writers curse, it's no joke but maybe that's a story for another chapter. Clearly it hasn't deterred me from writing but if you check the gaps between my works - you get the idea. If you're one of the 3 people on Tumblr who voted that I work on my assignments and revise instead of writing this I hope the fanfic curse actively seeks you out /hj
Also come chat to me on Tumblr (@readerregretsnothing), if you'd like to, I'm lonely and have far too much time. Tell me your favourite fics, ghost headcannons or recommend me fanfics you've written so I can support you!
Chapter 4: Ever since you were born you've been dying
Notes:
This is for the two loyal commenters, I promised Papa V and so here he is!
This chapter had brief mentions of illness and death, not described in detail but it’s there. Take care as always.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Void’s presence was scarce for several days, hovering ghostlike in rehearsals or pacing softly near the infirmary. Despite Omega offering for them to visit Sister Lotta’s bedside, they never did, and the gentle giant didn’t press. The ghouls gave it space, reluctantly.
Perpetua was the first to get a word out of them, five days later.
In the solace of Primo’s garden, he drew a sharp line through another string of nonsense he wished sounded more like his brother’s lyrics. A snapping sound made him glance up into the face staring down at him.
“Hello there, would you like to join me Tesoro?”
The ghoul accepted, drawing their knees up to their chest beside him. Silence blanketed the pocket of the garden, Void’s tail swished in the grass. Eventually Perpetua sighed.
“There will be another summoning.”
Void didn’t look up, so he continued slowly.
“It will be this evening, the clergy wants another ghoul for the next leg of the tour.”
He could sense their gaze fall on him, but they kept quiet.
“I am sorry it cannot be you caro mio. I am aware what happened with Sister Lotta, and I know you are tortured by it. The clergy is less, erm, sympathetic no? They find the idea of a ghoul of that kind of power unsettling.”
“Please don’t send me back.”
Their voice startled him. He turned to see them watching him, eyes studying him over their crossed arms. It was almost a mirror of the first time they had looked at him. Their eyes were softer now, but still full of fear.
“When I summoned you I said no harm would come to you and I assure you, that remains true. You have my word.”
They seemed to mull over his words for a moment.
“Thank you Papa.”
“Of course my ghoul.”
Perpetua watched as Void carded their fingertips through the grass next to them, flowers shivering open at their touch. Landing on a purple heartsease, they picked the bloom and tucked it into Perpetua’s hair. They drew back quickly, blush colouring the tips of their ears and nose, and likely their cheeks had they not been covered by their mask. He laughed gently.
“Grazie,tersoro mio.”
The dipped their head, settling back down.
“May I ask a question?”
“Ask away.”
“You are human, mostly, but not quite?”
Perpetua considered his answer. “Not quite, as you say. Something not quite human.”
Void nodded but didn’t ask for him to elaborate. Perpetua turned back to his notes.
“I was once a human.”
“Oh?”
“I was born topside, as a human, but I did not live long. When I was summoned the first time I was given a body, one like this. Something went wrong, my new body was sick, so they cast me back into the pits.”
Perpetua frowned. This was not something the ghouls had mentioned to him.
“It happened again, the summoning, the sickness, and again, the pits. This is the third time I have been summoned. My fourth topside. The first time I have had a body that isn’t dying, that isn’t too sick to heal.”
They buried their head in their arms, muffling the rest of their words slightly.
“When I was summoned here I expected the same. The ghouls-“ Void stopped abruptly.
“The ghouls tell me you haven’t been quick to trust.”
When Void raised their head their eyes were filled with pain.
“When I was summoned before now, the ghouls...they were the ones who killed me. I thought…” They trailed off, but Perpetua understood.
“When you were summoned here and saw the ghouls, you expected the same.”
“I did. But they have been nothing but loving, and it is still so far beyond me.”
Experimentally, he reached out slowly, allowing it to back off if it wished. Void didn’t move, only shifted their eyes to watch as Perpetua’s gloved hand came to rest under their chin. Their eyes that were so similar to his own. Void stared back into Perpetua’s gaze, seemingly seeing something that he didn’t.
“You are safe here, if you fall ill you will be cared for, and the ghouls adore you more than I’m sure you realise. The pits are not a fate you need to fear. Anyone or anything that tries to harm you will be dealt with, by your pack mates, or to me and my fratelli.“
Void nearly knocked them both backwards as they threw themself at the man, whispering its thanks. Pressing a kiss to his shoulder where their head rested, they murmured words he didn’t catch.
“Che cosa?”
But the ghoul didn’t respond, shy once again. They stood, stretching lazily.
“When will the summoning be?”
“Just after dusk. In the chapel.”
It nodded, waving, before he blinked and they had vanished into nothingness.
“Ciao, pipistrello mio.”
—————
For the second time in less than a fortnight the chapel thrummed with hushed voices, the black candles flickered and the summoning circle glowed.
This time there was no deathly silence when the mist cleared, there was no panic at the thought that the ritual had gone wrong. The new ghoul peered around the room, blinking in the light. When Papa offered his hand to help the ghoul out of the circle the room held its breath, but the ghoul only hesitated for a moment before allowing the man to help it out of the circle. The candlelight reflected off its eyes, gazing down at Perpetua. The ghoul was tall, nearly matching Mountain’s height, but chubby and soft where the earth ghoul was willowy. With skin and hair the many colors of a storm cloud and milky eyes, the air ghoul blinked around at the faces watching.
Mountain offered a blanket and a mask, and it took the former but seemed unsure about covering its face, and as there really wasn’t any need for it yet, no one objected.
It seemed more than content to accept the open arms of its new and unfamiliar pack, letting them guide him away from the eyes and overwhelm.
The chapel seemed to sigh in relief.
Off to one side, Void stood between an older water ghoulette and a human they didn’t yet know. The man’s face was painted, similarly to Papa’s and Fraters. To his left was Omega, almost bent double to hear the man’s whispers, a grin teasing his lips. Omega caught the smaller ghoul staring as the pair spoke and muttered something to the human who turned his heterochromic gaze on the multi ghoul.
“You’re V’s multi yes?”
Void studied him. His accent was not far from Fraters, but smoother, his words tinged with something sultry. They nodded once.
“Do not fear the clergy, ghoul. V will see to it that you are protected.” He scoffed. “Old bats trying to get rid of anything they don’t understand. If you ask me a little resurrection never went astray.” Omega elbowed him in the ribs and glared pointedly. The man only grinned and laced his fingers with the quintessence ghoul.
Notes:
Did anyone see who that was? (Canon only exists when I choose and I felt the opportunity was too good to miss)
Just a quick heads up! My laptop isn’t accessible right now so I’m writing and editing this chapter and the next two from my phone. With my fuckass joint pain it’s a bit slower so my updates might be further apart.
Chapter 5: You will never walk alone
Notes:
Warnings for this chapter: there is some minor violence and mentions of blood and injury, referenced suicide but there is nothing graphic.
ALSO!! In this chapter, and the rest of the work, any full sentences in italics are sign language. I haven't specified any gestures nor which variation of sign Void uses, but it isn't crucial to the story.
I am not someone who uses any sign language in my daily life, even though I know bits and pieces, so if you are someone with more knowledge please please let me know if there is something I should change. That goes for anything in the fic, I do make an effort to research the topics I write about but I'm more than happy for (constructive) corrections.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“The ghoul cannot be allowed to remain in the ministry. If it cannot tour - and it has been forbade from doing so - then it serves no purpose staying topside.” The Cardinal who was speaking droned on, reciting from what was clearly a pre-written spiel. “Send it back.”
“That will not be necessary Cardinal.” The strain in Copia’s voice was audible, but he made an effort to keep his face neutral. His twin meanwhile, looked ready to slaughter the young man.
Perpetua’s fury was almost palpable, glaring straight through the soulless cardinal and his associates who had approached the brothers after the summoning.
“What kind of fools do you seriously take us for Frater? We know that thing is the reason that sister is still alive, did you really think people wouldn’t find out?” The accusation was spat. The other young men behind him looked at one another, beginning to regret their decision to backup their friend.
“So you would rather the ghoul had simply watch as she died? It is your wish to lose a sister?” Perpetua asked evenly. His demand alone seemed to pour ice down the spine of the young man in front of him.
Copia schooled his expression into one of composure. “If you’re aware of Void’s involvement, Cardinal, then you would be well aware of why their action was vital.” The edge of a challenge hid beneath his measured tone. A warning.
“And how could you be so sure that Papa’s creature didn’t try to kill the poor girl? Easily done yes? A knife and a sob story and the two of you are too soft not to-“
The man looked up and paled visibly. Neither of the twins asked why, and they didn’t have to. The air in the now empty chapel was suffocating with palpable disdain.
“You are far out of line Cardinal Magnin.”
Terzo’s words were dagger sharp, calculated. Cardinal Magnin’s eyes dropped, looking more like a scolded child than his title. Even without Omega playing scary guard dog behind him, Terzo was more than intimidating.
“Sister Lotta would have died of blood loss, by her own doing, had the ghoul not been able to restart the girl’s heart.”
Unlike Copia, he made no effort to conceal his disdain.
“I wonder how it is that you’ve managed to retain your title for so long, Cardinal.”
The cowering man’s gaze snapped to the glowing eyes in the dark doorways. Sensing something was afoot, several ghouls now stood like sentries in case the cardinal decided to do something he’d regret.
Perpetua remained unnervingly passive, face expressionless under his mask. Stepping up to stand face to face with the Cardinal, he looked through the man like he was glass.
“My ghoul is none of your concern anymore Cardinal. If I hear that you have touched them, even approached them, I swear in His name you will experience the pits firsthand. You are excused. Both from this discussion and from your role.” Stepping back he kept the now ex-cardinal under his scrutiny. “Solaris.”
Cardinal Magnin stifled a scream as a clawed hand grasped him roughly by the shoulder. The luminous eyes of the multi ghoulette were thin slits as she growled under her breath.
“Please see him and his associates to their rooms.” The ghoulette complied without question, dragging the shaking young man and his two friends out of the chapel, hissing as they stumbled.
Terzo whispered something brief to Omega and the ghoul followed Solaris out. Several of the lurking shadows had disappeared already, the few that remained came to flank the twins and Terzo, all staring at the doorway the young man had stood in moments before.
“Ghouls.”
“Yes Papa.”
"Keep an eye on Void. No human gets within feet of them."
"Yes Papa."
—————
Two summonings in less than two weeks was unusual, but not unheard of. Everyone was aware that their newest band mate was essentially a replacement, there was no concealing the fact. The air ghoul seemed to sense it, speaking softly, hesitantly asking questions and staring around with wide, anxious eyes. Unused to his new body he was clumsy and uncoordinated, but he didn’t resist when his new pack mates reached out to offer to help stabilise him. He listened intently as the ghouls explained his new role in the band, in the ministry, and the ins and outs of life on the surface.
As Cirrus continued to speak, the ghoul’s eyes drifted around the room. A dozen pairs of eyes stared back, admiring and absorbing all the details of the ethereal air ghoul. Sensing something shift behind him, he turned.
Studying him from where they were perched on one of the common room’s wide windowsills, an unfamiliar set of eyes blinked back at him. Studying, but not with judgment. Void didn’t say anything, and when he blinked they were gone. His confusion didn’t go unnoticed.
“They’ll be back stormcloud.”
He nodded and didn’t ask any more about the ghoul on the windowsill.
It took little time for Storm to adjust to the unfamiliarity. His movements became surer, and bit by bit over the following days his personality was revealed. The pack didn’t push, but they didn’t need to, the air ghoul melted into the group easily.
Void seemed to phase in an out of reality around him, watching quietly before disappearing into the ether again. He noticed he wasn’t the only object of their scrutiny however. It studied everyone around them, constantly in some kind state of unexplainable analysis.
For something so solitary, he realised they were rarely truly alone. He couldn’t always see them, but he could sense other ghouls nearby, but it was never explained why. It seemed to set his bandmates on edge as well, but if they understood something he was yet to figure out, they didn’t let on.
----------
Void had noticed. Within hours of the new ghouls summoning they felt it. Heightened senses and quintessence made it impossible not to.
After slipping from another rehearsal, they made their way back to their room, padding softy through the cold hallways. A twinge of something poked at the edges of their awareness and they stopped short. The corridor was empty, the muffled end of “Lachryma” echoed softly from the rehearsal they had just left.
Biting at their already bloodied lip they continued, a little faster than before. When the feeling came again they darted up a staircase, pace picking up. The gallery at the top was just as empty, wide windows looking out across the courtyard and grounds below. The ministry was a maze of stunning architecture and secluded gardens, and Void had grown fond of wandering alone, exploring.
Now though, they were well aware their every move was shadowed.
Sick of the feeling that they were prey being chased into a snare, they kept their pace even, measuring each step to the doorway at the gallery’s end.
If the force at which the unfamiliar ghoul was slammed into the doorframe wasn’t enough to break their ribs, the grip Void had on their shoulders as they pinned them into the wood definitely shattered something.
Their stalker let out a wounded sound and raised its hands in surrender. Void pulled back as if they had been burned by the contact, letting their arms cross over their chest as the glow faded from their fingertips.
It has been four days, siren
Chain would have stood several feet above Void had he not been bent double. The water ghoul pressed his hands to the spots Void’s nails had bitten into his blue skin. Beads of crimson bubbled up and he hissed. Chain pushed himself up into what he hoped was a less pitiful position, crossing his arms. He winced as his ribs cried out but he kept that to himself.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you voidling, and I’m not here to hurt you.”
Four days. Was it you the whole time?
“Delta, Ifrit, Zephyr and Alpha have all swapped in and out. You’re very hard to follow when you seem to be able to vanish at will.”
Why?
“A Cardinal has become far too concerned with you and what happened with Sister Lotta.”
You were making sure I wasn’t alone, yes?
“Yes.”
Something flashed behind its eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had happened.
Your ribs
“They’re fine, it’s okay.”
Void looked him up and down, head tilted.
Your floating ribs. There are three fractures.
It gestured to where the injuries were on themself.
Chain wasn’t anticipating Void’s cool hands to graze his sides, the soothing feeling of quintessence leaving behind pins and needles in their wake. Even with their head down he could tell the contact made them uncomfortable, each movement cautious.
“You’re not so fond of ghouls are you?”
It was not the rhetorical question Chain made it sound.
I have not had reason to be fond of ghouls until now. I care, I do
“Do they know that?”
Void’s eyes snapped to his. He could feel the pull of their quintessence falter. They left the question unanswered.
When they were satisfied with their work they stepped back, scanning for any injuries left untended.
I’m sorry for hurting you
“None of us should have followed you without any explanation. We didn’t consider the kind of impression it gave.”
I thought your intentions were a lot less protective, if that helps you to understand
“You’ve only proved you don’t really need our help.”
Void cringed in genuine remorse, despite having dutifully undone the damage it had caused.
“Papa asked that we keep an eye on you, and even if you have your reservations about us, it might still be safer that you aren’t left alone.”
"I would rather not be left alone. But do not make me feel like prey, siren."
The whisper was both a warning and something close to a confession.
Notes:
I swear I haven't forgotten about the tags, I'm kicking my feet and giggling trying to write the ghouls flirting and Void just blue screening entirely. Anyhow there is softness coming I promise you.
Another note, I've updated the fic's name to Avoidance Ghoul, just so it's easier to find and also because Void - aVOIDance? I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me but there is logic in there somewhere.
Chapter 6: But in your eyes, it's gone before you know
Notes:
This chapter is short, mostly angst/very little comfort because I like to subject Void to as much hurt as possible in the name of the plot. I am also asexual and can't write intimacy for shit even thought its 90% of what I read.
Chapter warnings: Mentions of death and violence, and a panic attack/PTSD episode in little detail, and a semi-physical interaction that has implications of possible intimacy but doesn't go any further. Again, it's up to you and the headspace you're in.
There is also a brief section of dialogue in Italian, the translation is at the end.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Unease had crept its way into Voids thoughts, every human they passed could try and drag them back to the pits, even knowing the older ghouls had eyes and ears nearby did little to stifle the paranoia.
The only time of day it could enjoy its solitude was after nightfall. Most clergy members were expected to be in their own quarters by midnight, relegated to their respective wings. This left Void free to wander the empty areas of the ministry.
It was no secret that the ghouls favoured sin was lust. Their wing in the ministry was rarely silent, especially at night. The pack had made it patently clear that Void was more than welcome in any of their beds but the multi showed zero interest. There was an unspoken rule that none of them could make any real moves on a new summon until they decided for themselves, and Void still refused to even touch them all.
They could tell it was an important part of the pack’s dynamic, that even though it was never pressured into sex, the other ghouls were confused and disappointed.
Maybe one night. Tonight was not that night.
Now they padded softly through the halls, tracing their fingertips across the cool stone, winding the route they had grown used to over the past weeks. Each night was roughly the same route, the chapel, the sacristy, the library, past the infirmary, where they hovered but never entered, and they told themself the only reason they came was for the lunette window at the end of the hall.
They had discovered the loose pane of glass a week after their summoning, and it allowed them to slip unnoticed into Primo’s garden without having to be caught opening one of the heavy doors with hinges bent on trying to wake the entire complex.
The garden was the only place that was rarely empty. The retired pope was often drifting around even in the early hours of the morning, but Void could knew both his eyesight and hearing were declining. Still, they had a feeling the old man knew.
They retraced their steps to their room, avoiding the floorboards they had learned would give them away. The creak of a door was so quiet that it could have been just another groan from the old building.
Until someone collided with them in the darkness.
Void froze dumbly, senses clouded with panic. Having grown so used to not running into anyone, the expressionless silver mask was gone, abandoned on their dresser.
Candy pink hair faded into soft lavender and finally to blue, a messy from sleep.
Aurora.
“Oh! I’m sorry.”
The ghoulette tried to blink the sleep from her eyes. A halo of soft white hair made her stomach drop.
“I’m so sorry, I-“
She stared at the floor like she wanted it to swallow her whole.
Instead of bolting, fleeing into the safety of their room, Void stepped forward. Gently, painfully slowly, a hand tipped Aurora’s chin up.
Everything about Void seemed to glow. Pale freckles dotted their nose and cheeks, some shaped like tiny stars. One eye was framed by ghostly lashes, matching their left eyebrow. The right eyebrow faded into black halfway through, as did the eyelashes around their one dark eye. It looked like someone had painted them into existence but had run out of ink halfway through. Blunt fangs worried its bottom lip where there was already a noticeable scar. An anxious blush tinted their delicate features, colouring their grey skin a pale pink. They were ghostlike and prettier than anything worth hiding behind a mask.
Aurora stared, transfixed. Void held her gaze, even though she could feel the tremor in its hand that was still against her skin.
“Woah, you’re….”
The ghoulette stepped a little closer, close enough to see the glittering constellations of freckles across their cheekbones. Close enough to hear their breathing falter.
“You’re so pretty. Sweet Satan.”
Void’s heart felt like it had stopped altogether and they buried its face in its hands, barely concealing a muffled giggle.
Through the gaps in their fingers they could see Aurora’s stunned but dangerously sweet expression.
Her face was close, so close Void could see the remnants of the sparkly eyeshadow she hadn't fully washed off. For the one who had just called it pretty, Aurora was stunning.
In every shade from cotton candy pink to electric blue, the ghoulette's bright curls contrasted with the pastels of her skin, with shimmering iridescent markings and pink eyes, like a rabbit. Complimented by her collection of piercings and her preference for shimmery makeup, Aurora was glitter in ghoul form.
Void’s back hit the wall with a thud. They hadn't realised they had stepped or rather stumbled backwards until the breath left their lungs. Their brain clouded with an unhelpful emptiness, the only thing that seemed to exist was Aurora. Without fully thinking their hands found her waist, pulling her towards them. Bodies flush, they both froze. Her eyes flicked from their eyes to their lips. A question.
Everything suddenly seemed to come into rapid focus.
Aurora's heartbeat, their own hammering inside their ribcage, the shuffle of their feet over the ancient floorboards, the howl of the wind outside. They could see every single detail in Aurora's face, each individual eyelash, the glint of her piercings, the way her they could feel her pulse through her fingertips, the feeling of her soft sleep shirt under their hands, her body heat bleeding through.
"Void? Hey? Can you hear me?"
Aurora's voice sounded distant. Panic closed its claws around their throat. Aurora, beautiful, perfect, talented Aurora, was right there in front of them, body pressed against theirs, calling them pretty and looking at it like she meant it. And yet.
"Questo demone è malato, non tenetelo qui."
"Satana ci ha mandato un errore, ne evocheremo un altro."
"E questo?"
"Uccidetelo."
Void slid halfway to the floor and melted into the shadows around them.
Aurora was left standing in the darkness.
Notes:
English Translation:
"This demon is sick, do not keep it here."
"Satan has sent us a mistake, we will summon another."
"And with this one?"
"Kill it."
I know realistically the notes on my fics are for additional information but it's so much more fun to drop random lore and increasingly unhinged thoughts. If you've read all of these I'm sorry and I love you.
Chapter 7: I know it hurts
Notes:
chapter warnings:
this chapter contains minor self harm, disassociation, derealisation, and a graphic description of violence, choking, blood, scarring and death. I know this section is a lot darker than the previous chapters, and the more focused on Void's lore it is the darker it will tend to be. Please, be gentle with yourself, there is absolutely nothing more important than your mental health, trust me. I'm going to leave a brief summary in the end notes if you'd like to keep going with the fic but skip this bit.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The papal quarters were eerily quiet for the earliest hours of the morning. The Emeritus’s and their closest were all notoriously nocturnal, but tonight even Terzo’s room was silent.
Instead of their room metres away from where they had run into Aurora, Void had run until their body forced them to stop. They hadn't meant to come, but deciding it was too late to sleep and that being left alone with their paranoia was unwise, they didn't turn around.
Each apartment was marked with the numeral of its inhabitant. I, II, III, IV, and finally, V. Void padded slowly past each door with something akin to reverence. They noticed Primo's door was ajar, but the lights had been turned out. They must have had company in the garden.
Reaching the last door, it stilled.
V.
Honey coloured light spilled from under the door, warm and inviting. It seemed like something sacred, a cocoon of safety a little too far out of reach. The hand they had raised, poised to knock, hovered in front of the door.
It uncurled their fist, pressing their palm into the wood and leaning their forehead against it.
The soothing burn of quintessence in their chest spread. They allowed it to flow through them, expanding their awareness, just slightly. Enough that they felt itself coming untethered from its body. Quintessence-induced disassociation was something Aether had warned them of. The inverse of heightening the senses of their physical body or getting overwhelmed made the quintessence ghouls more prone to dissociative episodes. Void, instead of avoiding it, had begun to use it.
The walls seemed to warp, pitching in towards them. It could tell it was slipping, floating away from feeling. Somewhere in the back of their mind Aurora's words repeated themselves on a loop.
You're so pretty.
Nausea punched them in the gut.
Then claws had torn the flesh from their skeleton, shattering its ribcage to tear at its heart, their lungs, their stomach. Hands closed around their throat, stopping their gasps until their vision blurred, and then that was gone too in a flash of red and searing, stabbing pain. Their whole being screamed, unable to stop it, agony burning red-hot across whatever was left.
When they dropped to the floor, doll-like, it couldn't see their own cherry-coloured blood pooling around them. Blinded, unbreathing, unhearing.
And then it happened again.
The quintessence dissipated from their mind, emotion hitting Void like a knife between their ribs. They glared at the carpet and hissed a sharp breath into their lungs. Their knock seemed to echo through the deathly silence, deafened only slightly by their pulse in its ears.
Perpetua’s papal paint was smudged, normally flawless lines blurred over half his face. Recognition morphed his features into a look of subtle surprise, taking in the ghoul’s face for the first time.
“Oh. Would you like to come in, pipistrello mio?”
The door had barely closed before Void’s face crumpled and their already shaky breaths dissolved into aching sobs. Each inhale stuttered with panic and without knowing what else to do Perpetua brought his hands to their face, murmuring soft assurances, encouraging them to take deep, slow breaths. He had seen them reel away from every attempt at contact, even without witnessing what had led to Void on his doorstep he knew that touch was dangerous.
He felt them freeze. Their eyes searched his face, expression unreadable. Taking it for a wordless rejection he went to let go.
Void moved so fast it nearly knocked them both over.
The first thing that registered in Perpetua’s mind was how freezing they were, colder than any human should have been. The feeling of each vertebra in their spine as he traced soothing patterns on their back was scarily close to embracing a corpse. For Perpetua, who had grown up far removed from entities like Void, the feeling should have been unsettling. Even ghostly as they seemed, Void was just as deadly as any of the ghouls.
But as he carded a hand gently through their hair, untangling its soft curls, he realised something.
Where their head was tucked against his collarbone, its sharp horns should have pierced his throat, but the keratin was glamoured. Their arms were tight around his middle but not enough to feel crushing, skeletal claws also dulled by their glamour. Even in their state, with their careful composure crumbling in front of him, Void was fully aware of how fragile Perpetua was.
Belatedly, Perpetua noticed the scratches that marred the skin on their upper arms. His heart dropped. His mind went straight to the idiot ex cardinal.
“You’re hurt, did someone...?” But he saw the guilt in Void’s tearstained expression. Oh.
“Would you let me help you with those?”
He gestured to the marks. Nodding, they allowed him to untangle their limbs, their face noticeably falling as the contact disappeared.
“Make yourself comfortable, okay? I will be only a moment Tesoro mio.”
When he returned with first aid kit, Void had chosen to sit on his desk, reading through his scrawled attempts at new songs. Tracing the lines of ink they hummed softly. They picked up one of the pages, squinting.
“In sua luce deficiente.”
“It means-“
“In its own failing light. Latin.” They give a small smile. “I like it.”
“I try to write, but they are nothing like my brother’s.”
It hummed something noncommittal.
“Frater’s songs are very good. I loved his music, as I did Terzo’s, and their brother’s. Your songs are not like theirs.” It wasn’t a criticism, just a statement.
“You worry.”
Perpetua sighed, folding his arms behind his back with practiced poise, a nervous habit.
“I worry that the ministry will deem me unworthy.”
Void considered his words. They picked up the first aid kit, methodically searching through it and selecting a packet of antiseptic wipes and some bandages.
“The crowds adore you, the ghouls too. You are more loved than you realise.”
The sincerity with which they said it knocked the air from Perpetua’s lungs. Without knowing how to put his gratitude into words, he turned his attention to the claw marks that laced Void’s upper arms.
Understanding wordlessly, Void didn’t press. They sat still, letting him work. He could feel its eyes tracking him as he cleaned the shallow wounds, first with water then an antiseptic, keeping each necessary touch brief and purposeful. Aside from the occasional flicker or flinch, they tried their best conceal whatever pain they were in. Perpetua could sense it was more than the sting of the chemicals. Evidently something had led to them turning up at his door well before dawn, but he didn’t ask. If Void wanted to talk about it, they would.
Scanning them for any injuries he might have missed, he pressed a kiss to their shoulder and stood back, giving them room.
"Thank you Papa." It means more than you know.
Not trusting their voice to hold the weight of their words, Void lapsed into sign.
“Anytime, caro.”
They glanced towards the door, then to the darkness outside the window. The sun would be rising in a matter of hours and neither had slept.
“Rest, tesoro mio. You may stay here for tonight, if you wish.”
He bent to plant another kiss between their horns, now unglamored.
“I will be only a moment, the makeup is not so comfortable for sleeping I have found.” He grimaced, gathering the first aid kit and bloodied cloth before disappearing again.
Void pulled their knees up to their chest, glancing in the mirror they had purposefully turned its back to. The ghost in the glass blinked back, eyes a little too wide, dark circles too deep. It looked scared and staring and far too otherworldly to be a real reflection. No one had told them how long they would find their own reflection unfamiliar.
There was metallic clunk as Perpetua set his mask down. His hand lingered, hovering just above it as though considering hiding behind it again. The pale lines of a scar were visible now. Slicing twice through his left eyebrow and ending just below his eye. A shaky V that left his paler eye unmarred. Without the mask his hair fell into his face, unwilling to be brushed away when he pushed it back. The stoic, slightly unsettling antipope the ministry had grown so used to was gone, removed with just a mask and makeup remover. And under all of it the man was unbearably pretty.
Having moved to sit cross-legged on his bed, Void was admiring him quietly.
Once they had settled they lay there for some time, not talking, not touching. Just breathing, lost in thought.
Void's hands rubbed over the bandages on their arms, tracing the edge of the gauze absentmindedly. Their fingers now had a myriad of novelty plasters covering the knuckles and cuticles it had destroyed with its nerves. The little black bats were a nice change from the shredded skin underneath the adhesive.
“Will it always be so painful?” The multi ghoul’s sleepy voice was tinged with something sad. Something that Perpetua recognised. The question was not about the physical pain it was in.
“With time, it begins not to hurt so much. But for now, it feels like it might never end, yes?”
Void didn’t reply. Eyes now closed, they hummed softly again. This song was one Perpetua knew by heart. Excelsis. The ghoul drifted into unconsciousness and the tune lulled into silence. They didn't need to finish it, he knew the words they had missed.
I am afraid of eternity too
Notes:
Hi there! if you've skipped here, here's what happened:
After running from Aurora, Void went to find Papa V. V helped them calm down and took care of them. There was some drabble between the two as he took care of some of Void's minor injuries. V offered for it to stay for the night and the chapter ended with them falling asleep.
Even though I have a rough idea of how the story will go, the plot is non existent and I spend most of my time agonising over the same paragraph for hours at a time. I might start posting on tumblr ahead of posting chapters if anyone feels like coming to chat, or lurk. (@readerregretsnothing)
Chapter 8: Pray for all to die
Notes:
It's been a bit, I'm sorry for keeping people waiting I was having trouble writing and whilst I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, accept it whilst I write something better I promise.
This chapter, and a lot of aspects of this fic have partly been inspired by the wonderful Fog Weaver fanfic by Ollieollieupandfree, they're an amazing writer and the fic is insanely good so please please go read it if you have the time, I don't have the words to describe the hold Fog Weaver has had on me <333
Chapter warnings: Mentions of blood, suicide and violence, descriptions of violence including choking and self harm and suggestions of religious trauma. Please read with caution and as always no pressure my loves.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Soft, hurried footsteps sounded, pausing behind the old door. In a series of clicks it was unlocked and cracked open, the glimpse of a habit peeking out into the darkness. It took only a moment for a figure to make itself known, stepping into the dim glow of the lamplight.
“Prove to me you know why you’re here.”
The hand holding the heavy door retracted quickly. A heartbeat later it reappeared, a fine, beaded chain dangling from the delicate fingers. The rosary glinted in the low light, the inverted cross worn by the clergy had been torn from it, in its place a parallel.
“Very good.”
The hinges complained loudly as the door was pulled open just enough for the figure to slip inside. A sister fumbled to lock the door behind them and tucked the key back into her sleeve.
“I hate this place.” The vehemence with which the words were spat nearly made the sister flinch. The man in front of her scowled into the darkness of the corridor.
“We will be gone from here soon.” The sister fidgeted with her rosary, rubbing her thumb over the cross.
“What have you found for me sister?”
The girl pulled a leaf of paper from her tunic, handing it over with little ceremony. Her eyes didn’t meet his. She hesitated over her next words.
“They haven’t sent it back, Papa refuses. It is rarely left alone, and the moment it is it vanishes into thin air.”
“That thing has no place here. It is nothing more than an Infernal mistake.” The man scowled. “Is it followed?”
“Yes. I believe Papa has given an order.” She dared a look at the man in front of her, taking him in properly. He was almost oddly unfamiliar without his crimson robes. “What now?”
“And now...” The girl stumbled backwards as a flash of metal caught her eye. She paled, backing up against the wall. The man only grinned and tucked the dagger back into his coat.
“Do not be afraid sister, the blade is not meant for you.”
The girl tugged a loose thread from her habit, twining it around her fingers until it broke with a sharp snap. “What are you going to do to Void?”
She stifled a yelp as the man grasped her roughly by the wrist, dragging her close. His other hand grabbed her rosary, cutting off her air as he forced her face up towards him.
For a man who had confessed his undying devotion to a divinity she couldn’t herself comprehend, he seemed far from the holy man he professed himself to be. For her, revenge was a right, a statement she lived by. But this wasn’t revenge. This was unbridled wrath that morphed his features into something ugly.
Pulling her suffocatingly close, he hissed into her ear, paying her no mind as she coughed.
“Perpetua’s fucking mistake will end up where it should already be, I will cut its heart out before Satan drags his precious creature back into the pits. It has no place here on earth. None of those things do. You will play your part in this, won’t you Sister Nienna?”
His voice was low, posing it as a question instead of a threat. Vision going fuzzy from the lack of oxygen she nodded frantically.
With that he released her. Sister Nienna doubled over, clutching at her wimple as she gasped air into her lungs. She cursed the starched white fabric that prevented any evidence of her assailant. The man straightened, composing himself effortlessly in an instant whilst ignoring the sister's wheezing.
“May God bless you child.”
The man stalked off into the darkness leaving her frozen in place, staring after him. The footsteps faded slowly away, the ancient building taunting her with the eerie echoes of soles against stone. She didn’t move, not until she was certain he was gone.
Absentmindedly her hand closed around the cross around her neck, searching for some sense of soothing. The metal bit into her palm. With a sharp tug the thread broke, beads scattering across the stone. She made no move to pick them up. The pendant was the next to snap, slashing her thumbs as the metal broke in two. She had chosen this. If the ghoul died its blood would stain her, even if the blame didn't fall on her. But it had tried to kill her lover, hadn't it?
Sister Nienna had never been particularly close with Cardinal Magnin, polite but nothing more. He had been the first to tell her what had happened. He had been the one to find her after the ghoulettes had returned to their quarters. Telling Nienna her lover had been found, alive, but only barely. That a ghoul had been found by her body and had stopped anyone coming near. It was the cardinal who had wrapped an arm around her, allowing her to sob, murmuring condolences and promising a swift comeuppance for Satan's mistake. The details had blurred together and she found it difficult to recall the Cardinal's description of the gut wrenching event.
She had visited, as often as she could bear to. Lotta lay pale and peaceful, but too close to slipping away to where Nienna could not follow. And she had fallen through her fingers, for one terrifying moment, she had died. Her heart had stopped and her body could have gone cold, alone in the attic in a pool of her own blood. But Nienna had seen her heartbeat on the monitor, watched her chest rise and fall in shallow breath. It would have taken seconds for her entire world to dissolve around her. It would have taken only a moment of her own hesitation.
The ghouls had not hesitated. Understanding almost wordlessly and dropping everything to help her search, offering her support, comfort. When she had stared pleadingly into the face in front of her, choking on her words in her panic, all she had seen was a mismatched mirror of her own dread.
Nienna pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, fighting to regulate her breathing. She didn't have time for this. To wallow in what could have been. This was not the time for her to hesitate.
The laces on her boots were already loose, giving no resistance as she crouched to pull them off. Noiseless, she began to run.
Notes:
PEOPLE ARE GETTING EMAILS WHEN I UPDATE??? fuck me I hope no one has been reading the wildly unfinished drafts I keep accidentally posting.
Genuinely the support I've gotten on this fic is what's stopping me from leaving this fic unfinished because I know someone out there is waiting for me to update and I cry thinking about it I love you all <3
Chapter 9: Before my love it is too late
Notes:
With the return of the chronic pain in my hands my motivation to write has too.
Around 75% of this chapter was written listening to ghost's cover of avalanche, which is my current favourite of their covers. Most of this fic has been written with one song on repeat per chapter. I'm not sure if that shows in my writing.
chapter warnings: mentions and references to suicide, manipulation, blades and death. As always there's no pressure, do what you need and take care of yourself.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aether stretched, sighing contentedly as each vertebrae clicked with the movement. Next to him, Dewdrop was still half a sleep with his untouched coffee cradled in his hands. The fire ghoul was notoriously nocturnal and the early mornings made him touchier than usual. Around the room the other ghouls were all in varying states of sleepiness.
With the next leg of the Skeletour rapidly approaching, rehearsals began early and finished later, each addition to the setlist dragging the hours out ever further. The ghouls had fallen easily into the routine by now, but it made it no less draining.
Perpetua reshuffled the setlist at least twice a day, to Marika Psaltarian’s chagrin. Her iPad had begun to shut itself down periodically without warning and each time the woman seemed closer to a nervous breakdown.
Nihil’s songs stayed, less in honour and more out of obligation, knowing the old man’s ghost would likely pursue a vendetta until Perpetua was in a grave next to him. He had more admiration for Primo and Secondo's eras, and not desperate to encroach any further onto his brother's music kept only the ones he thought would appease Copia.
For the second day running Aurora was unusually quiet. When Phantom had pointed it out the day before, the ghoulette had shrugged it off as fatigue and no one had argued any further. But now her eyes were anxious as they scanned the room, looking for something, or someone.
“You okay Rory?”
Cirrus’s voice was concerned as she wrapped an arm around the multi ghoulette’s shoulders. Aurora gave no reply, only nodding absently in response. Cirrus frowned. “Sweetheart? What’s bothering you?”
“It’s okay, just tired Cir.” Her smile looked a little too forced for Cirrus’s liking, but she decided to drop it.
“Where’s Void?” Rain piped up from where he was lying across Storm’s lap. The air ghoul shifted as Rain propped himself up to face the others, not so subtly admiring the marks that trailed down Rain’s neck and collarbone.
“They aren’t needed to rehearse, they might just be sleeping. We should let them rest.” Mountain said calmly, not looking up from his book.
Dewdrop flicked his tail against the counter with a snap, setting his coffee down a little too sharply.
“Why the fuck won’t they let us near them?” He had meant it to sound angry and looked mortified at how wounded the words came out.
“You’re impatient.” Phantom quipped, earning a death stare. Mountain set his book down, sensing the growing tension radiating from the fire ghoul.
“They’re scared, Dew. We have to be patient, and they’ll come when it’s ready to.”
“What if that doesn’t happen?” Dewdrop turned his glower on the earth ghoul. “What if it stays like this? Mountain, it can’t even come near us.”
“Maybe it stays like this. And maybe we have to accept that. Forcing it only makes everything worse.”
His tone was even, but there was pain underneath it, mirrored in the faces of the other ghouls. Reassurances aside, none of them could pretend it didn’t hurt.
For ghouls, bonds meant more than any fragile human notion of love. Part of that was sex, the physical side of affection, but it was never solely that. Even innocent touch was something simple, something that came without thought. For decades it had been forbade by the clergy for the ghouls to be open in their affairs and their affection, but with the beginning of Primo's papacy that rule had eased, and by the time Terzo ascended it had been dropped altogether.
But with Void, the bonds the other ghouls ached were resisted by some unknown, inexplainable fear. The connection that should have been there couldn't yet exist. Not without vulnerability, and the ghoul hid any traces of it the instant their mask began to slip. There was no way to reassure Void it was loved and safe and wanted, and it hurt. But every time one of them tried, each time someone got close enough, it only seemed to hurt them more.
“I think they do want to. Be near us I mean.“
The room spun to face Aurora, watching as her face fell. “I think I scared them.”
“What do you mean Rory?”
“The other night, I ran into them in the hallway.” She did not look up from her hands as she confessed it. “They didn’t have their mask.”
The ghouls glanced at each other with wide eyes, wondering why she hadn’t said something sooner.
“What happened?”
Softly, Aurora explained, stumbling in her rush to get the words out. She faltered when she described the terrified expression on Void’s face, guilt twisting a knife in her gut. It was her fault for pushing them too far and now maybe she had scared them off for good.
Everyone mulled over the ghoulette’s words for a while, trying and failing to come up with any semblance of a means of fixing things. Eventually Aether glanced at the time and suggested they make moves to head to rehearsal, to a mumble of assent from the rest of the room.
Cirrus helped Aurora to her feet, wrapping her in a hug and kissing the crown of her head.
“We can go find them after rehearsal. At the very least to check if they’re okay.” The tall ghoulette bent to brush the tears from Aurora’s cheeks, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, and another to the tip of her nose.
The door was wrenched open, shattering the soft moment.
Mist stood in the doorway, holding a shaking sister by the arm.
“Where is Void? Have any of you seen them today? Yesterday?” Anxiety bled into the ghoulette’s words.
“Mist? What’s happening? Why is she here?” Rain stepped towards the older water ghoulette, looking from her to the young woman in her grip. The human refused to look up until Mists claws dug into the flesh of her arm, hissing into her ear.
When she raised her head Rain was surprised to recognise her as the sister who had come asking for help only weeks earlier. Judging from the air in the room, the other ghouls were equally shocked. The sister’s face was ashen, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.
“Where are they? Rain?” Mist’s tone rarely shifted from its soft emotionless, but now she sounded close to desperation. The fear in the water ghoulette’s eyes sent a stab of dread through him.
“They aren’t here, we haven’t seen them this morning.”
“Yesterday then?” They shook their heads.
“Mist, please.” Solaris’s voice was uncharacteristically small. “What’s going on, what is she doing here?”
The girl raised her eyes to look at Solaris, guilt and panic blurring her vision. The claws around her arm tightened as Mist’s pinprick pupils glared in her periphery.
“Papa dismissed a cardinal the night Storm was summoned. He was adamant that Void was a danger, that they should be sent back to the pits.”
That much they knew from Solaris, who had been there to witness it unfold. It had been hard to miss the older ghouls constantly dogging Void’s every move.
“The cardinal is back. Sister Nienna helped him in.” Nienna’s mortification was clear, shrinking away as the room turned narrowed eyes on her.
“He is going to try and kill Void.” The blunt words hit the ghouls with physical force. Horror stilled their movements for a spilt second before Dewdrop practically launched himself at the sister. Aether lunged forward to grab him around the waist.
“Why would you let him in?!” The fire ghoul seethed with rage.
Nienna attempted to cower behind Mist but the ghoulette stepped aside, leaving the girl to fend for herself.
“I won't defend you, sister, you’ll need to do that yourself.”
Every expectant glare zeroed in on the terrified human.
“I let him in, but I didn’t know he was going to kill it. I didn’t know, I swear.” She swallowed hard.
“I knew Papa had dismissed him, he came to tell me before he left. He said that the ministry was trying to cover up what had happened, that Void had tried to kill Lotta and he wouldn’t let it be hidden.”
“Void didn’t kill the sister, they restarted her heart after she tried to kill herself!” Nienna flinched, expression morphing into one of blank nausea.
“I didn’t know that, no one came and told me what had happened, no one except for the cardinal. How was I supposed to know he was feeding me lies. I thought-.” She sucked in a breath. “I thought she was going to…but I didn’t-couldn’t think about it.”
In spite of Lotta’s note, Nienna had clung desperately to the lies the cardinal had fed her, not wanting to allow the gut wrenching truth that her lover had very nearly left her for good. The little pieces that hadn’t quite matched up had been glossed over by her grief, hidden in the cardinal’s honeyed words.
But the knife had lanced realisation through her, fracturing his careful lies as his intentions had become patent, overly confident in her blind trust.
Running headlong into the water ghoulette had not been remotely her plan, but panicked by the looming danger she had confessed the situation in a mess of tears. Without another word Mist had grabbed her, running to the ghoul’s den with Nienna stumbling along behind.
“Who saw them last, and when was it?” Mist cut in. The time they had was waning and Nienna’s grief would only slow them down.
She followed the eyes of the other ghouls as they landed on Aurora, all colour draining from the multi ghoulette’s face.
“Two nights ago, but only briefly.”
“If we run around frantically screaming their name we’re putting ourselves at risk as well." Aether interjected quickly. "Is he armed?”
All eyes turned back to Nienna, who nodded.
“He has a knife, at the very least.”
There was a murmur of discomfort through the pack, but all sound died away as Nienna spoke up again quietly.
“I gave him a list of the times when rehearsals run, times when you’d all be out of the way and Void was most likely to be alone. But they’re very hard to follow, I couldn’t tell him where they go.”
Mountain stood up abruptly. “We need to find Void before Magnin does, but we cannot make it clear to him that we know.”
Within minutes a plan was made and the ghoul’s had all vanished from the common room, leaving Nienna with strict instructions to stay safe, and stay put.
Notes:
I misread and misspelled so many words whilst writing this that proofreading was an actual nightmare.
I dyed my hair last night whilst writing and I feel a little like my description of Aurora. I write a lot of Rory I know but I'm a sucker for her, she's a sweetheart.
Quick PSA: if you know my legal name, have dated me, or allowed me to live in your basement for several months, you did not read this. I know some of you are a little too good at stalking and if I catch you I swear I will orphan my account. Love y'all.
Thank you for reading and I'll hopefully update again in the next few days. Stay safe my loves <3
Chapter 10: In times of turmoil
Notes:
Another wait I'm sorry, I started new meds halfway through and they messed my head up a little so I forgot what the hell I had been doing for the past nine chapters.
chapter warnings: descriptions of abduction, stalking, blood and violence and references/implications of death.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
For the second morning Void felt Perpetua stir early, gently untangling their hands as he got up. As quietly as he could he dressed and readied himself for the mornings rehearsal.
Void blinked open an eye to watch as the man applied his papal paint. Each step was smooth and practiced, ghostly white foundation followed by eyeliner to mark the areas then filled by black, setting powder in both shades and finally sharp black lipstick. He brushed the frizz from his hair and applied some kind of product to keep stray curls from escaping the fixings of his mask. Without his expression arranged into something passive, they could admire him in his softness.
Void let their eyes close again, allowing the soothing warmth of the blankets to lull them almost back to sleep. It hardly stirred when it felt him leave a kiss against their temple, the cold metal of Perpetua’s angle bite piercings lingering after his murmured goodbye.
The warmth seeped slowly away once he had left, so Void reluctantly pulled themself out of bed.
The first sunbeams danced across the floor in the corridor, catching on the dust motes Void’s footsteps stirred. It was a different kind of calm from the den, and this way it avoided facing Aurora, and the others who undoubtedly knew by now.
There was little point to hiding away from the confrontation, but without any gauge for Aurora’s reaction it kept putting it off. They owed an apology but every time they tried to rehearse the right words it sounded jumbled and apathetic. Their voice was still frustratingly difficult to use.
Sighing, it steeled itself, turning its back on the sunlight and heading for the den. If they were quick enough there was a chance the pack hadn’t yet left for rehearsals. Out of habit their claws ghosted over the doors as they passed, reciting each numeral under their breath.
V, IV III, II, I.
The ornate door that separated the papal wing from the rest of the ministry was obscenely heavy, the hinges in need of replacement possibly a decade earlier. They heaved it open, jamming their hip against it to keep it open as they slipped out.
A dull click and a shuffling was masked by the cry of the metal, and Void was too lost in thought to notice.
A sudden weight on their shoulder dragged them back, arms wrapping around it to keep them from lashing out. They writhed, but the arms held firm, unyielding.
The door slammed back into place.
—————
Cirrus quickly confirmed Void’s room was empty, their mask discarded on their desk, uniform folded neatly beside it. They hadn’t come back.
“If anyone finds anything, tell someone else. Don’t go alone, don’t draw any additional attention and if you find Magnin instead of Void, don’t let anyone get hurt.” Satisfied by the responding nods, the air ghoulette turned to Solaris. “Find Papa.”
Solaris nodded and broke into a run, dragging Storm along with her.
As two of the Perpetua’s three summons they were the closest to him, bonded through the spell that brought them topside. The rest of the ghouls had gradually warmed to the man, still bitter and bonded to Copia. The quiet and slightly awkward new frontman hadn’t taken long to win them over, even as a few of them stubbornly resisted, namely Dew, who had to adjust not only to Terzo, but to both of the twins in turn.
The ghouls were very rarely late to a rehearsal, most often arriving long before Perpetua did to set up and get some practice in. They were undoubtedly talented, far beyond anything Perpetua felt his lyrics worthy of.
For the first time in Perpetua’s memory the space was empty when he arrived. It was bound to happen on occasion he decided, and so he waited. A minute passed. Ten. Twenty. Twenty five. His heels made a rhythmic thud as he paced, wearing the dull carpet down to the floorboards.
He hardly had time to register the door opening before a body launched themself at him, Solaris burying her face against his neck. Her stuttering purr vibrated through them both, but whether it was to sooth her nerves or his own Perpetua didn’t know. Storm bumped his head against the human’s gently, also seeking comfort. Their sudden affection only allowed his stomach to drop further.
“My ghoul’s, what is the matter? Where are the others?”
Solaris didn’t look up from his neck, but her purring stilled as she replaced it with words. The two ghouls rushed to fill him in, only letting him interject when he suggested they search his quarters. The pair stared at him stunned silence for a moment but didn’t pry any further. At the very least they now knew Void had been safe for the two nights since the ghouls had seen them. With barely a glance at each other the two ghouls separated, wordlessly agreeing on their next movements.
It wasn’t as though Void didn’t have a tendency to disappear for hours or even days at a time, but there had never been any real risk before now. With a thirty-six hour head start Void could have been anywhere in the sprawling ministry complex. Magnin’s four hour advantage was not lost on any of them, and with the endless number nooks in which to hide the process was tedious.
The ghouls had spilt, fanning out across the ministry. Without knowing where Void was and where Magnin would be looking it was near impossible to search methodically. In the daylight there was no going unnoticed, siblings and staff wandered around in the midst of their chores. The ghouls weren’t feared, but they were extremely hard to miss. Not with tails and masks and movements like living shadows.
Not even quintessence aided the search, if the multi ghoul could sense them trying to reach for them through a mental link it made no attempt to show it. There had always been a barrier when they had tried at other times, but whatever emotional wall Void had created only let vague emotions bleed through. Invasive as it felt, it was only ever to try and get a read on them, sensing if they were concealing pain or other feelings they resisted sharing. Wherever they were, Void either couldn’t feel the quintessence that should have been tugging at the edges of their mind, or were intentionally ignoring it. There was only one other possibility.
Perpetua’s rooms were empty, devoid of any hints to where Void might have gone. Nothing was out of place, nothing had been taken, and nothing had been left. The bed was made, but if the multi ghoul hadn’t been there he would have done that himself. It was disconcerting how ghostly their marks on the ministry had been.
Trying to wake Copia was akin to raising the dead, somehow the only Emeritus who didn’t suffer from insomnia, so Pereptua skipped his twin when it became clear he was far beyond consciousness. Both Terzo and Secondo, on the other hand, opened their doors when Perpetua knocked.
Terzo made zero effort to hide the hickeys across his collarbone, nor his ruffled hair. Only when Omega appeared over his shoulder did Terzo’s cheeks colour slightly, but it faded as quickly as it had appeared. It had never been a secret, but it didn’t make it any less awkward for the older Emeritus to be seen somehow soft. Terzo inexplainably managed to look effortlessly gorgeous most of the time, something that clearly ran in the bloodline if Perpetua was anything to go by.
Secondo barely glanced at them, cracking the door only slightly and warning them not to disturb Primo. The man looked like he hadn’t slept in decades. The darkness pooling under his eyes was evidence enough, but his eyes were dull and full of a bone-tired exhaustion that Perpetua prayed would never find him in his retirement.
Neither of the brothers had seen the multi ghoul.
Dew’s tail whipped behind him, tendrils of smoke trailing from his nose and mouth as he muttered threats that were directed at the ex-cardinal, but the poor sister he had run into on the stairs couldn’t have known that.
Despite their efforts, no one had come any closer to finding Void, the frustrating multi could have melted their way into the shadows or found a way to crawl back to the pits by now. The only relief was the absence of the knife wielding assailant who was lurking somewhere unseen. It set them all on edge, praying that the next place they searched didn’t reveal a long-gone ghoul or a dagger through their ribs.
Dew could lie all he wanted to but he cared. More than he wanted to admit. It had taken patience he had’t realised he possessed to allow Void their space, not to bury them in questions and prod them until it snapped. They had snapped on their own, possibly a long while before it ended up here. Void was theirs now and if they didn’t want to be found, then he would remove the one thing that put the multi ghoul in danger.
----------
“I don’t know! I swear!” Nienna’s head met the wall with a sickening thud, sending stars through her vision from the stabbing pain. The swirling magma of Dewdrop’s eyes burnt into hers, the acidic bite of his anger making her head spin even further.
“Liar!” The fire ghoul’s claws would have torn her skin had she not been protected by her habit.
“Tell me where he is.”
“I told you I don’t know! He didn’t tell me!” She shut her eyes, failing to will her tone into something less pathetic. Dew kept her pinned, smoky breath invading her lungs.
“You don’t get to do what you’ve done and expect to be forgiven. If Void dies, it is your fault. You will not escape the blood, sister.” The low growl sent a tremor through her, wincing at the burning touch.
From somewhere beyond the pair came a low noise, the click of an inhuman tongue, but Nienna’s vision blurred the figure behind Dewdrop. For a terrifying second she saw the cardinal, blade glinting against the ghoul’s neck. She screamed, smoke filling her airways and forcing her to cough.
“Drop her. I found something else.”
Another set of luminous eyes narrowed over Dew’s shoulder. Just as blazing but several shades lighter, starlight pooling in the darkness of their sclera.
Nienna was dropped abruptly, slumping against the wall, and grimacing when she realised the base of her skull had received more than just a bruise.
One of the two ghouls crouched in front of her, body heat radiating from them in waves.
“She’s bleeding, Cirrus will kill you.”
Dew rolled his eyes at the ghoulette as she held a sleeve against the girl’s bleeding head, letting her fuss only enough to soothe the immediate pain.
“We don’t have time for this Sunshine, let’s go.”
The multi ghoulette fell into step beside him, elbowing him in the ribs.
“The girl’s been through enough today spitfire, you’re going to need a really good explanation for Omega when she turns up in the infirmary later.”
It was more of a warning than an attempt to chastise him, she would have likely done the same in his position. Dew shrugged, only quickening his pace next to her.
Magnin’s room in the cardinals quarters had been stripped bare, gutted of its homeliness the day after his dismissal. It seemed oddly humble, ill fitting for the corrupt cardinal who had spent half a decade in its safety.
“What are we doing here?”
There was no response from the ghoulette, focus taken by whatever she had seen out the window.
“Sunshine!”
Dew yelped when she grabbed him suddenly, hushing him as she pulled him to stand where she had been moments before. For a moment for he didn’t realise what it was she had been staring at, only shivering as a draft crept cold across his skin.
And then it clicked.
“Phil oversaw the cleaning right?”
“Right.”
“He wouldn’t have left it open.”
“He didn’t.”
The realisation settled, confirmed by the ghoulette's eyes as turned to face him, sitting on the windowsill. Her eyes darkened with something dangerous.
“Cirrus said not to let anyone get hurt. Her words.”
Dew grinned back at her.
“Then dont fuck up sunbeam.”
Notes:
I fucking adore Terzomega. PLEASE if you have any terzomega fic recs let me know I'm so soul crushingly normal about them.
On a side note, I love writing my descriptions for the ghouls and not all of them have one yet, but if anyone is interested in specific ghouls and my interpretations of them let me know.
take care of yourselves <3
Chapter 11: As the blood that was shed
Notes:
Completely forgot to mention that I gave Pet angle bites on a whim in chapter 10, he also has a paired nostril piercing with a chain, but it doesn't have any proper name (that I could find) so I didn't think it was worth adding a paragraph for it. The Papas all have body mods of some kind and you cannot convince me otherwise.
This chapter was hellish to write for some unknown reason, but finally it's done and mostly readable so I hope you enjoy!!
Chapter warnings: Mentions of death, choking, and descriptions of violence, blades, blood and threats related to disembowelment. This section is a lot darker, so I apologise in advance for that. Take care of yourselves my loves and as always no pressure. Yes, I say this every time, and yes I will continue to. Every. single. time.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Our father who art in Hell,”
Deep, melodic latin lulled the church into a reverent silence, Primo’s smooth voice commanding quiet respect as he recited a prayer, allowing a beat of silence before dismissing the congregation with a blessing.
In their retirement and resurrection, the responsibilities of mass fell to the elder Emeritus’s. Secondo, despite his grumblings, was the one to rise early for the dawn prayer. He would rather bully Terzo into replacing him when he couldn’t attend than have his older brother risk his declining health and his much needed rest. The midday service usually alternated between the youngest of the three and Frater, leaving the vespers to Primo or Perpetua when the latter wasn’t touring. The eldest had taken place for the night without question, knowing the additional stress was a burden the younger man had no need of for the moment.
Primo scanned the gathering, picking up on the gleaming chrome of his nephew’s mask. Perpetua had arrived late and only hovered through the service, shadowed by his summons. The rest of the ghouls stood by, among them Primo’s own, identifiable only by their heights and builds. Several gaps remained, missing both a fire and a multi, among others who had slunk out during prayer.
“The old bastard still speaks well no?”
In spite of the humour he tried to inflect, Copia looked just as stressed as Perpetua felt. The twins were opposites on every spectrum and it was Copia who had been cursed with the inability to hide his expressions. His brother, meanwhile, remained deadpan in comparison.
“He is still the most imposing of us, yes.”
They turned to watch the old man step back from the lectern with no less grace than a man of half his age. A young sibling accompanied the imposing eldest Emeritus, trailing after him like a lamb in an ink-coloured cassock. The cardinal paint on their eyes and top lip signified they were likely older than they appeared. Somehow their name evaded Perpetua, but the way they carried themself was familiar to him, spine straight, hands folded neatly against the small of their back, chin dipped just slightly. The young person could have been an assistant, or even Primo’s ward. Unlikely but not unheard of. Knowing his mobility issues and the recent decline in his vision, the man often had someone at his arm.
“They walk like you.” Copia observed from over Perpetua’s shoulder. “Clearly you’re having an effect on this place fratello.”
His twin rolled his eyes behind the silver of his mask, but his stomach lurched as reality reminded him that his role now earned him devotion he didn’t know what do with. The semipermanent crease in Copia’s brow softened ever so slightly.
“Come, we must search no? It seems the ghouls have taken matters into their own hands.”
Now, with the gathering darkness, the search devolved into a hunt. Luminous eyes and glinting fangs half concealed under emotionless metal as the ghouls stalked the ministry. The clergy had been kept in the dark about the goings on, in the likelihood that Magnin’s words had infected more than just sister Nienna it was safest to be nonspecific in the details that were shared.
The cloying scent of Magnin’s cologne, bitter from his disloyalty clung to the steps he had taken on his own hunt for an invisible prey. Sunshine and Dew were not the only ones who had turned their attentions from the ghoul to the far more fragile human. His scent had led from his room in methodical, clear cut lines across the complex, slowing down and doubling back when it looked like his efforts were just as successful as the ghouls’.
A hand against his chest made Dew stop abruptly, cutting his eyes to the multi ghoulette next to him.
“What?”
Sunshine’s quintessence was far weaker than even Swiss’s, being more fire than their other elements, but still enough for Dew to admit she could catch things the fire ghoul missed.
“Void.”
It was barely a breath. Sunshine gestured vaguely in front of them, indicating the imprint Void’s presence had left in the air, a faint scent marked more in quintessence than anything Dew could actually smell.
The doorway to the papal wing was a myriad of presences, they could both smell each of the Emeritus’s overlapping scents; smoke and medicine for Primo, frankincense and leather for Secondo, the perfume Terzo drowned himself in, Copia who smelled more like Aether than anything else, and Perpetua cloaked in bitter cherry notes.
“You sure?” It was hard to separate it from the overpoweringly human odours that messed with the traces of the ghoul. “Because Magnin…”
Neither of them said it. Something hung in the air where Void’s scent lingered under the stench of the ex cardinal. The absence of any blood was a mercy that only bought them time.
“Let’s look somewhere else sunbeam.”
An involuntary shudder passed through him, an unprompted panic that felt nothing like his own. Beside him Sunshine stiffened suddenly, and it dawned on him that the fear didn’t belong to either of them.
“Sunshine who is it?”
“I don’t know”
“Safe?” He was almost hesitant to ask.
“I don’t know.”
Dew internally cursed the ghoulette’s weaker grasp of her quintessence. Painfully aware that it had plagued the multi’s self worth since her summoning he kept his mouth shut.
“Can you feel where?”
This time she nodded. Not giving him time to ask another question she grabbed him, dragging him into a sprint as he fumbled to keep his footing.
The steep stairs spiralled downwards, cutting through each level in turn as the pair took the steps two at a time.
They had almost reached the end of the staircase when Sunshine’s arms shot out to brace herself on the balustrades. It was only out of sheer adrenaline fuelled strength that neither of them touched the floor below when Dewdrop slammed into her from behind.
The steps came to an end in the narrow corridor leading to the chapel, its distant doors locked until it was next needed for a summoning, or another unholy ritual.
With their back to the doors stood a ghoul, a shawl wrapped across their shoulder like a bat’s wings. For a heartbeat it could have been Void, but the eyes that blinked suddenly open under their mask were rose coloured. Aurora.
For a breath everything was terrifyingly still. The soft click of a lock echoed off the stone.
“Aurora?”
A gap appeared in the doorway behind her as someone unlocked it from the inside. Instead of spinning to face it, she stepped back, not resisting the arms that dragged her backwards into the pitch darkness.
Dew had pushed Sunshine out of the way before she could react, darting forward to catch the door as it fell closed with the ghoulette hot on his heels. The ancient lock clicked back into place a split second before the fire ghoul’s full weight was thrown against it.
"Fuck. Fuck!"
Dew fumbled in his panic, pressing his hands against the lock and summoning every shred of strength he had left to heat the metal into breaking. The surrounding wood scorched and smoked under his touch. The ghoul ignored the molten metal against his skin, trying to coax the iron intricacies to give.
"Breathe tesoro." Hands closed gently around his wrists, tugging them away as Perpetua slid a key into the lock. He hadn't heard the man approach, nor his brother.
For the first time since knowing them both, Dew could see the resemblance the ghouls had wondered over for months on end. The way their frowns pulled at their lips, the way their eyes were wide with concern, the slight stiffness in their body language that Copia usually broke with clumsiness and Perpetua replaced with grace.
The door gave way under Perpetua's hands, but no sooner had they swung open than the group froze in the doorway.
Cold metal slid against Aurora’s neck and the exposed section of collarbone, light enough for only a thin line of crimson blood to appear its wake. The blade continued its trail down her chest to rest over the softness of her upper abdomen. Magnin's glower was full of venom, one hand had a white knuckled grip on Aurora's shoulder, the other steadying the dagger he held against what little separated her vital organs from the heavy air of the chapel.
“Move, ghouls, and I will gut her as you watch.”
They backed up, raising their hands in mimed surrender. Drawn by Aurora’s earlier distress, the doorway now framed more ghouls and vague, silent silhouettes melted from the darkness inside the chapel, shifting and surrounding the human and the ghoulette in his hold. None of them made to move closer.
“Tell me where it is.”
“We know as much as you do.” Aurora’s voice was even, cautious. Far calmer than it should have been.
“Do not lie to me, creature.”
Aurora cautiously released the tension in her shoulders as Magnin spoke, pressing her body back into his chest, away from the knife as the point began to sting through her uniform.
“If we knew where they were we would have hunted you instead of searching for them.”
She hissed through her teeth as the sting became blinding pain, looking slowly down to see the tip of Magnin’s knife sinking into the skin underneath the fabric. The other ghouls flinched, some taking steps backwards.
A sick smirk darkened Magnin’s features as he noticed their discomfort, taking pleasure in the way their eyes flicked from Aurora to each other, helplessly, wordlessly searching for a way out.
“Oh so you are aware of how pathetically vulnerable she is? Your borrowed humanity makes you fragile, even Satan’s infernal lapdogs aren’t impervious to something as simple as a blade.”
Making his point clear the ghoulette in his arms muffled a scream as he dug the knife further into her chest, her head beginning to spin.
“Stop it!” Desperation invaded a ghoul's voice from somewhere in the darkness just inside the doorway, marred with fear so that Aurora's hazy state couldn't pinpoint who it belonged to.
“Where. Is. Void.” Each word was punctuated with another scream. Blood dripped onto the floor, crimson against the sepia of the medieval stone.
"STOP!" Perpetua clung to Copia as he scrambled forward, holding him back without either tearing their gaze from Aurora. Nobody else moved. The shadows against the walls stilled completely, reflective eyes glittering cat-like in the near darkness.
"I think I would rather you watch her die, Frater." He glanced towards Perpetua. "Papa." His sickeningly sweet words met with glares, Copia leaning into Aether as the quintessence ghoul pulled him close.
"A tragedy, to lose one of your succubi so early in your papacy, isn't it Papa?" His words hit their mark and he laughed as Perpetua tensed. "Your feral mistake will be blamed for a second fatality, all because you felt too soft to send it back."
Magnin made to continue, to bury the blade further into the ghoulette's small body, but something in him faltered. Against him, Aurora could feel more than hear as his heart stuttered. It slowed, growing weak against his ribs. The knife fell to the floor as he clawed at his chest, vision blurring as it stopped altogether.
For a moment of deathly silence, the chapel watched, dumbfounded, as Magnin collapsed with a sickening thud.
Nothing happened immediately. A beat of stillness. Then, suddenly, the air shifted.
A figure materialised, literally appearing from the darkness itself. Hands raised as if drawing back an invisible bow, one palm open, angled towards the unconscious body. Framed by the black cardinal paint, their eyes glowed, trails of smoky light lingering in the air with their movements. Their arms trembled with exertion as unholy energy hummed through their veins, fuelled by the rage that contorted their features. Magnin tried to roll over, gasping for air and fighting for consciousness. A swift flick of the young person's hands released the arrow of phantom energy lancing straight through the crumpled human, who fell silent. They stared down at the ex cardinal for a long moment, studying the shallow rise and fall of his chest as the luminous energy around them crackled and died.
Aurora swayed a few feet from them, dizzy from the blood loss she had attempted to stem with her shaking hands. Her vision warped, blurring as she sank to her knees, doubling over in agony. The figure seemed only then to fully realise her injuries, eyes widening as they extended their arms. Hovering as a tentative offer, not quite touching. Aurora didn't hesitate to crawl into their arms as they knelt to meet her, cradling her gently, murmuring soft reassurances under their breath.
The chapel became a blur of movement. They were only vaguely aware of someone prying Aurora from their arms, hearing voices but unable to make out any semblance of meaning.
No one moved to help them up, only watching as the young person struggled to balance themself, returning to stand beside Primo who had seated himself at one of the pews Satan knew when. Taking a shaky breath they rearranged their posture, a pale imitation of Perpetua's, just as Copia had pointed out before. The eldest brother stood to meet them, placing a hand on their shoulder, offering his arm as they had done before, the roles now reversed.
Perpetua walked over to the pair, taking his time to study the young person in front of him. Black hair and matching eyes aside, their earlier familiarity was more than just their mimicry. It took effort for them to meet his gaze, but it only confirmed exactly what he had been searching for.
"Ciao, pipistrello mio."
Void's tears left makeup stains on his cassock but for once they didn't hesitate when he opened his arms.
Notes:
How are we feeling? Do people catch the lyric references I add into every chapter? Leave a comment if you have a minute I'd love to hear literally anything you have to say.
On another note, does anyone read the notes I add at the beginning and end or am I screaming into the abyss? Only because I'm curious.
Stay safe everyone and I swear the next chapter is going to be happier because the comfort in the hurt/comfort tag hasn't been forgotten.
Chapter 12: It is the end of a life grieved in vain
Notes:
The gaps between chapters occasionally last days longer than I'd like, I wish I had more time to write. In reality, writer's block has a vendetta against me and my life is busier than I'd like, but I do try to keep the gaps under a week each. That's also for my sake, this is my joy at the moment.
Finally I promised comfort but, knowing me (I'll be honest even I didn't realise how hard I find writing comfort) this is a hurt comfort chapter that is lots of hurt but a little comfort that inevitably sets up more comfort.
chapter warnings: implied terminal illnesses, unspecified, discussions of death, suicidal expectation/ideation, implied/referenced murder
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Discomfort woke Void, something sharp cutting into the side of their face. With a huffed sigh they fumbled to remove whatever it was, confused as their hand met something smooth and solid. It was lighter than their own mask they never parted with. They blinked, sleep still clinging to it as it tapped against their face, at the mask that covered the top half of it. Black makeup stained and smudged their fingertips that somehow looked pale and human instead of the charcoal dipped claws they had only just grown used to. Void’s choked whimper was gently hushed, a kiss was pressed to their head. Steady arms held them, cradling them like a small child as whoever it was continued walking.
It took a moment to properly make out the face looking down at them. Perpetua murmured words that Void couldn’t catch, something soothing. His otherwise flawless paint had been disturbed by the traces of tears. The multi ghoul in his arms tried to frown, reaching to touch the dampness of his cheek. Only the paint covered the scars that crisscrossed the left side of his face, now unhidden without his mask.
Void made a confused sound, unable to form words as their hand flew to their own face. The reassuring weight of Perpetua’s mask shielding it from the eyes they could feel from beyond their bleary vision.
“Pet.” The mumble made a half smile appear on the man’s face.
“…rora?”
“She is safe tesoro, you’re safe.”
Their eyes closed again, no longer resisting the pull of unconsciousness.
—————
When Void woke again they were alone. Sleep clung to them still, an exhaustion that had laced itself through their bones.
The mirror revealed their dark circles and dull lips, features returned from their glamoured imitation of a human.
It had been Primo’s suggestion, the glamour, the cassock they still wore, the paint that someone had carefully washed away.
The man had been in his garden when a figured had trampled carelessly through in the darkness, unaware of the retired papa tending to his flowers under the watchful gaze of the moon. He had heard snippets from behind the door, knowing the voices that had spoken, hearing the violence the ex cardinal had planned and the fear in the young sister’s tone.
It had been Primo who had grabbed Void before they could unknowingly endanger themself, apologising for the fright he knew he couldn’t have avoided. Apprehensive as they had been at first, the ghoul had listened. The glamour kept Magnin from even considering it and any ghouls hardly glanced it’s way. He could tell it was torturous, trailing after him whilst their pack mates searched desperately for hours on end, but Void hadn’t complained.
This time they let their footsteps announce their presence before they appeared in the doorway to the common room, expectant eyes already waiting for them.
“Hi there, how are you feeling?.”
Rain spoke as though anything other than the gentlest of gestures would spook the ghoul into their solitude again. The room watched as Void hesitated in stepping forward, awkward on their feet.
“Is Aurora…?”
The multi ghoul nearly had a heart attack as Aurora stood from where she had been curled in Mountain’s lap.
Void stepped forward, searching her for any sign of pain. Bandages wrapped around her torso, but her movements were fluid, painless. Void’s hands hovered for a moment before tearing them back bring them around itself instead, genuinely fearful that they might only make things worse.
“I’m so sorry.”
When Aurora looked confused they continued.
“He could have - I shouldn’t have waited. And I shouldn’t have run,” They glanced at the other ghouls. “From any of you.”
“You don’t owe us anything, and definitely not an apology Void.”
Disbelief was written in Void’s frown but they didn’t try to continue. Tentatively they sat, bringing their knees up to their chest in one of the armchairs as the rest of the room stretched and shifted into more comfortable positions.
The silence stretched endlessly, the comfortable air gradually giving way to a flicker of something painful. Void had spent so long constructing careful barriers around their emotions, only now did they relent against the quintessence that their pack mates had reached for them with since they had been summoned.
“You’re hurting, Void.”
The ghoul didn’t try to lift their head, aware and ashamed of their tears.
“Void.”
They sighed, releasing a breath of shaky air.
“Void.”
The multi sat up slightly, tilting their head to rest on their knees so that they could keep the ghouls in their field of vision.
“This is not my first time topside.”
The ghouls nodded, giving them pause to continue.
“It’s also not my first time being summoned. Or the second.”
Several bodies shifted slightly at their words, but no one spoke.
“I don’t remember being human, not really. I died young, I was sick. Then I was summoned. Something was wrong with me, with the body I woke in. I didn’t live long enough to find out what it was. Then it happened again, a repeat of the first time. I spent some time in the pits after that, but I wasn’t around other ghouls. I didn’t have a pack or a mate or anyone around me. And I was okay with that for a long, long time.”
Void halted, teetering on the edge of adding to their admittance.
“My only memories of ghouls before now were the ghouls that were present at my summonings. They weren’t…gentle.”
Their arms instinctively wrapped protectively around themself, pressing their eyes closed at the warped memories forced their way back into its head.
“I’m not used to touch that isn’t meant to hurt. The ghouls were ordered to kill me and they did it. They tore my bodies apart and kept me alive to watch.” Void swallowed back bile.
“You’re all so terrifyingly gentle with me and I haven’t worked out what to do with that, not without hurting you instead.”
There was a stunned, horrified silence as the ghouls began to realise the reason Void had closed in on themself.
“Why didn’t you say that?” Aurora tried to choose the words carefully.
“I thought you’d give up, eventually.”
It was almost a whisper.
“I do want to be near you.”
Gravity tried unkindly to keep them sitting, tugging at them as they fought for balance. Void made a frustrated click and prayed their unstable stance to permit them leaving. It was becoming harder to tell who was speaking.
“Hey no no you’re in pain.”
“Stop it.” Void grit their teeth as the pain flared up, screaming at them to just sit down for another moment.
“Would you just actually take care of yourself for once?”
The multi ghoul turned on a frustrated and very concerned Aether, incredibly aware that they were falling apart in front of them all and completely unable to stop it.
“I can’t - I don’t know how to use this awful body, or the voice that comes with it. Everything is loud and overwhelming and it hurts. It hurts so much because I don’t know what I’m doing and no one can tell me what the fuck is wrong with me. If I get attached and I die it only hurts everything and everyone more. I am going to get sick again, that’s what’s supposed to happen. Why hasn’t it - I don’t understand.”
Void sucked in a sharp, shuddering breath before it burst into tears. The fear that had been lingering in its voice reared its head and swallowed them whole. Void sobbed as it dragged them down, crushing every bone to a powder and snatching the air from their lungs. There was no energy left to flee or to hide or to pretend they weren’t in an unfathomable amount of agony. So they cried, shrinking further and further into themself.
The dead silence was only disturbed by its wracking sobs as the ghouls reeled from the realisation that Void was terrified. Terrified and certain that they were doomed to suffer the same way they had in every other version of itself. Void’s only experience of life was being killed by something beyond their control, over and over until it became the only inevitable outcome. They had been waiting to die, uncomprehending when it didn’t happen, when the body they now had wasn’t shutting down on them against their will. For the first time, Void was living and they were scared.
“Void.”
Then someone was on their knees in front of them, reaching for them, lifting them into gentle arms. Tears that weren’t its own dampened their hair as they let themself be rocked like a child, clinging to whoever it was as though they would dissolve if it let go. Their mask jabbed uncomfortably into their skin, pressed into the crook of someone’s neck in a way that Void managed to vaguely consider hurt the both of them.
Clunk
Void didn’t have the wherewithal to feel self conscious as the heavy chrome fell from their hands. There were eyes on them, on the tears burning tracks down their cheeks, on the new face they had kept hidden in the hopes that someday it would feel anything other than alien. If the ghouls reacted in any way, it was unable to tell.
Calloused fingers wiped the tears from their cheeks and they stared, wide eyed and unseeing. There was the press of lips against its forehead, a murmur of something impossibly soft that it didn’t try to decipher. Things had begun to blur together, clouding everything in cotton wool. The suffocating fear had crawled its way into some small part of it that felt far away. It didn’t leave, not completely.
“You’re not going to die. We’ll keep you safe. You’re safe.”
There was nothing they could do but nod, letting their eyes drift closed as the ghoul holding them soothed them to sleep, murmuring promises it knew they would do anything to keep.
Notes:
To anyone who has left a comment or kudos or is considering doing so, know that you're the reason this fic is still going.
I write because I know someone reads it and because it keeps me going and I really, really need that right now. If anyone wondered where I got the idea for Void's illness, no, it isn't a random thought.
I know everyone's experience with any kind of illness is different, mental or physical, but I promise you, you are seen, you are so loved and you're doing so well. It hurts like shit but it can and will get better, and I know, trust me I know. Recovery hurts, any fight hurts but we've all got this. You aren't alone, I see you and I love you.
Thank you for reading, I promise more comfort <3
Chapter 13: Don't you forget about dying
Notes:
I'm being so honest with you this chapter took several days longer than I meant it to. Definitely had nothing to do with me searching for bits for a Perpetua cosplay...or the fact my drafts are currently full of voice recordings of Ghost songs on the fuckass kazoo I forgot I had. I also technically have work to do.
chapter warnings: implied death, panic attacks, blood, violence, unspecified chronic illness/chronic pain. As always, read with caution my loves.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
A white gloved hand reached for theirs, eyes piercing through them as though the words on his lips were nothing but the truth. The velvet of his voice cocooned them in a muffled hush, focused solely on the softness of his glove that bled heat through the fabric, fingers brushing for a split second before their hand was clasped in his.
Terzo’s face was silhouetted by violet light, white eye gleaming unnaturally bright, before the light bleached their vision and he was replaced with Perpetua, the chrome of his mask darkened by shadow, haloed by the lilac stage lights.
For a single, breathless moment he was beautiful, a chiaroscurist painting.
The warmth fled from the gloved hand, becoming a cold, corpse like weight. The gloves were gone, replaced by claws, inhuman and deadly sharp, biting like razors into their palm. The pretty silver mask and painted smile had vanished, only teeth in their place.
Nails sunk into their skin, touching bones and spilling bright blood into the darkness. Their shrieks were cut short when their breathing stopped, unable to take in the air needed to fill their lungs. There was so, so much blood, cooling them as all feeling began to ebb away.
Beep. Beep. Beep
There was a weight, pressing, crushing them. Somewhere in the aether voices were yelling, sobbing, begging them for something. What was it?
Beep…beep…beep.
Oh. It was a heartbeat. Their heartbeat.
Beep…beep…
…
The panic attacks hadn’t left, but they had gotten easier with patience. The minutes it took to steady their ragged breathing shortened each time, the leaden grief only gradually losing its grip.
The sheets that had pooled around their waist felt cold, the moonlight turning them to snowy loneliness around them.
Void shouldn’t have been shocked when a body collided with theirs the moment their door closed behind them, they had woken screaming.
It was an unfamiliar comfort to be held, to be cradled and not drown in nightmarish memories that their mind warped to tease them.
----------
The overwhelm didn’t disappear overnight, it couldn’t. Instead it curled itself into a dark corner of Void’s heart and that would have to be enough for the time being.
Nothing changed immediately, they didn’t discard their mask or speak as often as any of the others, still opting for sign when words wouldn’t come. It remained, ghostlike in its sudden appearances and disappearances and would vanishing into thin air for hours.
There were days when the world seemed to crash down around them and they would shrink into their shell again to sob their aching heart out. Some days a cruel stab of pain reminded them just how fragile they were and it brought the terror back into sharp, sudden focus and the promises the pack had made seemed cloudy and sugarcoated.
The only person who had medical understanding of their bodily pain, was Omega, who had carefully suggested a forearm crutch for days when the physical flare ups would limit their ability to stand and move fluidly. It explained their propensity for appearing and disappearing - a combination of air and quintessence to compress themself into movement akin to teleportation.
Void still waited. For something to go wrong, for their body to shut down, or worse.
Magnin had been knocked out and escorted from the ministry, ending up somewhere solitary for the foreseeable future. If the man had prayed to his god for a place in heaven when his heart had stopped, the ghoul responsible ensured not to grant him that kind of mercy. There were murmurs among the clergy that Perpetua made an effort to quell, and begrudgingly most of the undisguised hatred towards Void was withdrawn with nearly sincere apologies.
Carefully, slowly, the ghouls reached for them, offering love and care and affection it hadn’t allowed since it had been summoned. And Void finally, finally became softer, accepting the affection, if only a little more than it had before. It was slow, but the distance Void had kept between them and the others began to shrink. They all noticed, because of course they did, but no one commented lest it scare them off.
Not when, out of discomfort or the opposite their mask would be removed for a few precious moments, more and more often.
Not when someone mentioned they had seen Primo wandering the gardens with a crown of flowers, or that Secondo sometimes spoke in hushed tones to someone unseen as he smoked some evenings, or that Terzo had mysteriously - and possibly intentionally - misplaced his trademark eyeliner.
Not when Void would find subtle ways to stay close to them all, nearly but not quite touching.
Not even when the ghouls began to flirt and astonishingly, the multi began to shyly reciprocate.
It was small things; the timid smile that had begun to appear for the first time or leaning into the careful touches for just a moment longer than necessary. Helping with bits and pieces without anyone having to ask. Faint, barely noticeable, but they were there.
From the intentional brushing of hands to their doe-eyed stare, the multi made soft signs of want for them all.
Aurora healed quickly, but it didn’t stop Void from wordlessly appearing to fuss over her, fixing her veil before dress rehearsals or steadying her when she stumbled, a hand lingering on the small of her back for just a moment longer than necessary.
On the occasions Void followed the pack to rehearsals they stared, mesmerised, as Cumulus taught Solaris “Per asper ad inferi”, mumbling along with the angelic voices of the pair, or at Cirrus on keys or keytar, as the air ghoulette showed off for them. Storm would twirl them around as he sung and they had begun to join with timid harmonies.
If there was time in between, Rain or Phantom taught them snippets of the newer songs on the setlist, helping it to learn each part from Skeleta. Impera was also mostly new to them, being the first of the two eras Void had missed being released. They listened and mimicked each note diligently, leaning into them as their hands guided their own across the fretboard.
It grew easier, the quiet affection becoming a routine.
And then suddenly it wasn’t so subtle.
A particularly long practice had ended abruptly when Dewdrop had shredded the pads of his fingers, smearing blood across the gleaming white of his guitar. He grabbed a bottle of antiseptic and bandaids and grumbled back to the common room, flopping into a chair and point blank refusing to let anyone help as he fumbled uselessly.
There was a chastising click from Void, who had followed them all back from the practice and was seated across the room, watching with concern.
“I’m fine.” With that he spilt the antiseptic across his shaky hands and hissed a string of curses.
Before his brain could catch up the multi ghoul was in his space, straddling his hips and snatching the medical supplies from him. Suddenly so close he was certain it could feel his heart stumble. His mind drained of any holy thoughts, only conscious of where their bodies touched, cool hands on his wrists, on his chest to push him out of their face, on his waist for just a moment to adjust their position.
Their weight kept him pinned as they tended to his hand, not that he would have tried to move. Their gaze flicked briefly to meet his, and he wondered if they were blushing underneath their mask. If Dew could have formed a command to lift his arms he would have torn it off.
It took less than a minute and a half at most, not that he had counted. With a satisfied hum they pressed a quick kiss to the back of his injured hand and stood up, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.
Dew made a weak noise, his own shock mirrored by the rest of the room, who looked equally surprised and amused. Void only cocked their head and giggled, vanishing as a dull pink glow began at the tips of their ears.
And it wasn’t only Dew.
There were moments when Void seemed to switch, the boldness making brief appearances. Each ended with disappearing, feigned innocence or, if someone matched its attitude, shying away, breaking the tension one way or another. It was maddeningly slow and endearing in equal measure. Even when it blurred the line between platonic and something far more, there were unspoken boundaries that the ghouls respected. They didn’t talk about it, at least never with Void.
----------
I know your soul is not tainted
Even though you’ve been told so
Cumulus’s tail swished happily as she watched Cirrus from a distance, the way the tall air ghoulette’s long fingers danced across the keys as she swayed her hips. Ever the seductress, especially knowing Cumulus was there watching.
I can feel the thunder that’s breaking in your heart
I can see through the scars inside you
“This is one of your favourites hmm?”
Void startled from their reverie, but nodded and let the song die on their lips.
“Meliora has always been my favourite.”
The air ghoulette grinned and Void smiled back at her before they turned to stare wistfully at Perpetua and the rest of the band.
It was one of the final rehearsals, in a few days they would all be gone. It would only be weeks, but Void didn’t want to think about how painful it would be to part.
On the makeshift stage Perpetua dropped to his knees, reaching out to clasp the hands of an invisible audience.
Can’t you see that you’re lost?
Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?
“You’re staring, sweetheart.”
They mumbled an affirmation but didn’t tear their eyes from Perpetua, enraptured. Cumulus laughed and nudged them.
“At the rituals getting Ciriced is a lot more bewitching.”
“I know.” They smiled.
It had slipped her mind that they had once been one of the many in the endless sea of faces, a human who had loved their music enough to remember the words even when little else stayed with them after death.
“Do you remember the rituals?”
“They’re one of the only bits I do remember. Oslo and somewhere else…I don’t remember the name.” Their eyes glittered fondly at the memory, glazed with cloudy nostalgia. "Terzo was the first I saw, then Frater but that must have been years later. There are lots of details missing, but I think being here makes it easier to remember all of it."
“Is it strange? To be so close to it all now?”
The multi considered it. “It’s…odd. Not in a bad way though. It’s odd that this isn’t the first time I’ve been near you but you’re all finally so…real?”
“Are we what you expected?”
The question hung in the air, the air ghoulette could see the words process, Void finally turning to face her.
Cumulus wasn’t dissimilar from her mate, albeit with a fuller figure than Cirrus. A smattering of pale markings dusted her blueish grey skin and wild powder blue curls that framed her head like her namesake. She had the curled white horns of a ram, and sky blue sclera with white pupils that gave her the appearance of an odd ethereal owl.
“I don’t know what I expected, I don’t remember. I know i was hopelessly in love with you all but it was masks and lights and pretty costumes at the time.”
Cumulus tilted her head, a frown unhidden on her face. Noticing, Void’s smile melted away and they fumbled over the words that for once didn’t seem practiced.
“No! No no I didn’t mean - I -“ A blush burnt what little skin was showing. “I had no other point of reference for all of you, not that you weren’t - aren’t - beautiful. I only knew you from a distance.”
The air ghoulette laughed gently as Void buried their face in their hands, trying to swallow their words.
The pair were saved from continuing as Perpetua called an end to the rehearsal and the band drifted off to change and pack away their instruments, chatting amongst themselves.
Phantom launched himself at Void and knocked them both over with a yelp that dissolved into devious giggles. Void surprisingly didn’t protest at being crash-tackled into a hug, grinning up at the quint.
“Gentle, Bug.” Cumulus chastised, rolling her eyes and blowing a kiss to Cirrus behind them, who blushed like a teenager and mimed catching and returning her lover's kiss.
“I wish we could take you with us.” The quintessence ghoul complained softly, helping it to its feet.
“If they film anything I’ll watch! Cu said they don’t allow phones this time.”
“It’s not fair.” Storm pulled off his veil, setting it down alongside his mask.
Void look up sharply, catching the guilt in his tone. The tour had been the reason the multi ghoul was there, topside, without it there was no real purpose for their being there. But if Void was disappointed, they had kept it well hidden. The last thing it wanted was for Storm to feel as though it held his summoning against him, but it didn’t stop him from trying to find ways to make it up to them.
“I’m happy you’re going Stormcloud, I promise. They’ll love you.”
And they meant it. The air ghoul was more than adequate for his role, a quiet but commanding presence with a low, mellowed voice and a gravel suited to his name.
“I wish I could be there. I wish I could come with you all, but it has to be someone, and I’m glad that it’s you.”
Notes:
So...there might only be one more chapter of this fic. The plot I'd planned out has almost, almost been covered entirely in the chapters so far, so I've got half of a final chapter drafted and the rest forming in my head.
That doesn't mean no more fics or no more Void (though I don't know if people want to read more of them(?)), I'm going to keep writing, maybe some oneshots as I plan my next multi-chapter fics.
If I offered to write some oneshot requests would anyone be interested? I'm devoid of ghost-related ideas and I like having something to do with my spare time. If you want to request something anonymously you can use my Tumblr askbox (@readerreagretsnothing) I might not write anything but I'll definitely consider it.
Chapter 14: Stripped of sin
Notes:
It's been a whole two weeks since I last updated and truly I didn't mean for it to take so long, the universe has been difficult and this chapter had so many rewrites I have about 4 chapters of drafts that ended going nowhere.
Chapter warnings: Mentions of injuries, knives, disassociation, brief discussions of death and (nonsexual) physical contact that is momentarily uncomfortable for one party. There is intimacy but nothing explicitly sexual and there is consent given.
I hope you're all safe and doing okay, you're loved <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Void leant their head against the window, breath clouding the old panes of glass at they gazed up at the moon, eyes glazed and vacant.
There was no moon in the pits, nor the intricate constellations of stars that humans had drawn dots between, desperate to attach some form of meaning.
The gentle lunar giant watched in silence whenever Void was in sight, keeping them silent company in their insomnia, luminous eyes reflecting the cool light as they mumbled quiet prayers or told her about their worries.
Most nights they were alone. Most.
“Hey stardust.”
The less their paranoia pulled at them, the more their newfound daydreams lapsed into disassociation, slipping a little too far into their own head. It wasn’t always the nightmarish but necessary escape from reality, but more and more frequently they would find fragments in their consciousness that weren’t fully their own. Loose fractals of memories that came from nowhere, summoned by nothing in particular. The worst of them were gore and viscera, memories that woke them screaming, but there were others.
The greeting was lost in their loud thoughts, brushed aside completely until the voice came again, joined by a hand on their arm.
“Void?”
With a yelp the teacup in their hands slipped and fell towards the floor, their hands shooting out instinctively to prevent the anticipated shattering of ceramic against stone. Scalding liquid pooled at their feet, but the sharp noise never arrived. The cup hung, suspended in the air.
Aurora looked apologetic, for the spilt tea or disturbing their quiet Void couldn’t tell, but their heart stuttered anyway.
“I’m sorry for scaring you.”
She reached for the teacup, prising it from the haze of Void’s magic and setting it safely on the low coffee table. In her periphery she could see Void tracing her movements, their gaze heavy on her back.
“You’re up late.”
Unlike Void, whose dark circles seemed to be a permanent feature, Aurora would normally be dead to the world long before Void held silent council with the moon.
“I couldn’t sleep, the tour is in two days and I’m still messing up the harmonies for Papa’s new songs.”
The next leg of the Skeletour loomed, melting the final days into a blur of preparation. The core crew had left two days early, checking everything was in order at the location of the first ritual, calling back to give regular but mostly unneeded updates. The European leg of the tour had been chaotic, with Dew fracturing his leg and a myriad of minor complications that were bound to happen when Perpetua was shoved involuntarily into the spotlight.
Knowing that most of the ghouls would be pulled away from them in a few days time Void had become attached to them all at the hip and their attentions were more than happily returned as if it would make up for their weeks of absence.
Perpetua too would be gone for weeks on end, and it made them anxious. Tied to him as ghouls became with their summoning rituals, the idea of being separated by entire continents was jarring. The promise of phone calls and postcards were little consolation, but it tried not to show it, at the very least to stem the guilt they could sense from both Storm and Perpetua. It seemed horribly unfair to have so little time with them all.
But Aurora had little to worry about, she’d performed almost all of the songs before flawlessly for the first leg of the tour, and even her mistakes were impossible to place unless someone looked at the sheet music. But Aurora looked so lost standing in her thin nightdress in the near-darkness, confidence sapped by exhaustion.
“Would you like to practice?”
The practice rooms were mercifully soundproof, or close enough to it that they didn’t need to worry about being caught up so late.
Aurora sang quietly to herself as she reread every sheet of lyrics, squinting at Perpetua’s neat scrawl where he’d annotated each of his songs.
With an acoustic guitar in their lap, Void had abandoned their chords quickly in favour of just listening, admiring Aurora and her angelic voice. If the ghoulette was bothered by the lack of accompaniment she didn’t complain. When she paused, or her confidence faltered, Void would gently hum the next set of lyrics, or simply wait.
She looked out of place in the low light with her hair mussed and voice still invaded by sleep, but she was so pretty, almost painfully so. They couldn’t remember when she had started to look like that.
“You’ve got a staring problem, stardust.” Void blushed and tore their eyes away as the ghoulette giggled softly.
“Sorry.” It mumbled, searching for anything else to divert their attention towards.
The starry-eyed glances and soft touches had started soft and shy, but the want that laced itself into the affection didn’t go unnoticed. The second the ghouls realised it Void had made themself prey.
“You’re not good at hiding it.”
Void pretended not to hear, focusing on adding to their notes in the empty spaces on their copy of Umbra. They didn’t look up at her but the hint of a shy smile was hard for her to miss.
The silence was disturbed only by Aurora’s melodic voice and the quiet hum of the guitar, continuing on loop until the ghoulette began to yawn.
“You need to sleep Rory.”
“It’s not perfect yet.” She rubbed her eyes, stretching her arms above her head. A twinge of sharp pain knocked the breath from her lungs with a whimper.
Void’s hands slipped against the strings of the guitar, the discordant notes ringing in both their ears as they abandoned it to grab her. They helped her into a chair, kneeling in front of her to search for any visible signs of discomfort.
Aurora winced, running a hand over the bandages that looped around her chest. The slash at the base of her ribs was healing, but with the tour so close and knowing she would be expected to dance for weeks straight, the nerves she had bottled up fought to resurface.
“I need to be on stage, I don’t have time to heal.”
At her feet Void felt guilt well up in their stomach. “I’m sorry, I should have-”
Their sentence died on their tongue as Aurora’s hands tipped their chin towards her with a glare.
“Hey no, none of this shit is your fault.”
The ghoul shook its head furiously, returning her fierce expression as they pushed themself to stand. “I should have killed him.”
None of the ghouls had braved the conversation since the ex cardinal had been escorted from the ministry, waiting for Aurora to heal sufficiently and all too aware that Void could push them all away instantly if anyone crossed their invisible lines.
“Why didn’t you?”
It clearly felt like an accusation instead of the question Aurora had meant it to be, and Void paused, hurt flickering across their expression.
“He would have died believing his sins would have granted him a place in heaven. He will suffer, alive, for what he did.” Each word came with deadly clarity.
“You stopped his heart.” She had felt it, his pulse falling silent against her as he had crumpled to the floor.
“I didn’t stop it intentionally, I dropped his heartbeat, it was only mean to knock him out. It stopped of its own accord.”
“But he didn’t die.” Aurora prodded, searching for anything but the cryptic answers the ghoul tended towards.
“I restarted his heart so that he could live long enough to get what Satan owes him.” Void’s hard expression didn’t falter but they couldn’t look at her, glaring at carpet instead. “Why did you let him get so close to-?“
“I knew what he wanted to do and that someone would protect you if they found you. I didn’t know then what you’d been through but I wanted you to have a chance at a safe, proper life topside and that piece of shit wasn’t going to get in the way of that.”
The multi ghoul stilled completely, shocked. No matter what Void had been expecting, it was not that. She had known, and she would have let it happen if it meant keeping them safe.
Aurora swung her feet to the floor, stepping so close that Void could feel her breath ghosting across its skin. Her fury wasn’t directed towards them but they felt it, static in the space between them, mixing with another emotion they couldn’t place.
“No one gets to decide when you die, understand?”
Her fingers pulled at their mask, determined. With a sharp exhale Void tugged their mask off, fully anticipating the ghoulette’s hands against their jaw, hard enough to bruise.
“Tell me you understand.”
They did not understand, not really. The words made literal sense, but the meaning behind them did not.
“I’m not - I can’t do this right now, not today Aurora.”
The tension began to make Void nauseous, all too aware of everything at once. The urge to push away clawed at its chest, leeching away its oxygen. But this time Aurora was not letting them run away.
“Please.” Her words came out wrong, pleading for something that evaded them. It only confused them further. She should have been resentful or angry or exasperated. Anything but the deadly softness betrayed by her eyes.
The eye contact became unbearable. Void pushed against her hands, dropping their head onto her shoulder.
“I know what you want.”
Her hands retracted from their face, running through its hair like she was expecting them to slip away.
“If you don’t want it that’s okay.”
Void’s arms came up to wrap carefully around her middle, avoiding putting pressure on her injuries.
“I do want it, I don’t know how.”
The walk back to their rooms was quiet. They both pretended that they couldn’t hear each other’s heartbeats. Aurora surprised them by reaching for their hand, strawberry pink against their ink-dipped skin. Its was a risk, but so was everything with Void and she was too tired to care. They didn’t protest.
Aurora hesitated at her door, glancing back at Void who tilted their head, waiting for her to decide.
“We don’t have t-“
“I didn’t say no.”
Void didn’t register the ghoulette closing the distance until she had a hand in their hair and her lips were on theirs.
The kiss was impossibly tender until she was sure they weren’t pulling away, waiting until their hands settled on her waist before the soft press of lips became claiming, biting at their lip and feeling them gasp, muffled against her mouth.
Without separating them she fisted a hand in its shirt and pulled them into her room, stepping blindly backwards and knowing it would follow.
“Rora-“ They stumbled, leaning more weight on her and she realised belatedly the ghoul was unstable on their feet and was fast losing the wherewithal to focus on keeping itself up. The hands cupping their face moved to guide their arms to loop over her shoulders before they slid to steady their waist.
The reeling discomfort that normally accompanied close contact, that should have accompanied it, was absent.
“I’ve got you.” Her breath tingled on their lips, eyes half lidded as she broke away to admire them.
Lips kiss-bitten and blue-screening they blinked slowly. Void couldn’t have formed a sane thought if they had tried, not with the ghoulette looking at her like they were something precious, holding them so it didn’t pull them both to the floor.
“You’re okay stardust, I promise.” They became vaguely aware of the wetness on their cheeks when the tears were brushed away, their face peppered with the softest of kisses. “I promise you.”
Void’s sob became a hiccup as they brushed away the cotton candy hair that hid Aurora’s face.
—————
“It is not your decision to make, Papa.”
For a title that should have held so much power, the spectre’s condescending tone made it sound the opposite. It was not untrue, whilst he had more influence than most members of the clergy, there were too many situations that served a sharp reminder that he was a figurehead first and foremost.
Perpetua often heard of another man in a similar position, he saw him make headlines for weeks, parallel to his own ascension in the papacy. It was ironic that Perpetua knew every intricate detail of Catholicism, its history, the figures of importance and their rites, and yet. He wished he could despise it all, the rigid structure that did nothing but harm to him growing up in the church, the preaching, the guilt they forced upon him. Their conclave should have been rooted in honesty instead of the deeply political spectacle the media fed on. It was in no way fair, but then neither was the patriarchy that led Perpetua being tossed into the limelight. It had never been kept from him that stepping into his new role would come with difficulties. They had warned that the ghouls he would inherit were bonded to his predecessors and would be hesitant at best and hostile at worst
“It is not an unfounded demand.” He replied evenly.
Across the dark wooden table Psaltarian glowered, the only expression the old man seemed capable of.
“Your ghoul has been forbade from leaving the ministry.”
“And I am telling you to rescind that order.”
Unlike his brother who had been pliable to the clergy’s wishes, Perpetua could not be intimidated, and it made him an unfavourable successor in far too many eyes.
“Your summon is defective.“
Perpetua stood abruptly, glaring at each clergy member in turn, landing finally on the translucent figure at the end of the table. Sister Imperator stood with her lips pursed in motherly frustration.
The clergy’s decisions tore a newly bonded summon away from most of their pack. Perpetua had had to earn the bonds with most of his ghouls, but Void, like Storm and Solaris, was his.
“Void is not in any state to be left, you know that. They should not be separated so early on, it is cruelty. You are dooming Void to solitude!” There was a deafening silence.
Without warning or permission the heavy door was forced open to reveal a hesitant looking Copia, accompanied by two figures Perpetua couldn’t quite recognise.
“Ah, I apologise for my late arrival, fratello.” Copia addressed his brother directly, ignoring the room full of people who had dictated his entire life, only managing a curt nod towards his mother.
“Come.” He gestured to the figures behind him, ushering the sisters of sin into the room. One girl kept her eyes on the floor, her posture stiff and scared. The other looked a step away from her own grave, but she met his eyes with a fierce determination.
“Cardi.” Sister Imperator imbued a warning into the single, icy word.
Copia ignored her, helping both sisters into empty seats before falling into place beside Perpetua, still standing.
“What is the meaning of this Frater?” Psaltarian all but seethed.
“This,” Copia gestured to the anxious looking girl to his left. “Is Sister Nienna.”
“Ah yes, the traitor.”
Nienna looked at the floor as if hoping for a pit to open up beneath her. Copia placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder before continuing, but Perpetua had already realised who the other young woman was.
“Our other lovely sorella is Lotta, who has graciously given us her time, so I think we should listen to her, no?”
Whilst not similar in appearance, with her passive indifference Lotta could almost have been a young Sister Imperator. Perpetua watched as that same, familiar narrowed eyes zeroed in on Psaltarian.
“You knew what happened to me, you know what I did and you lied.”
Notes:
WAIT BEFORE YOU DISAPPEAR!!! I know I said one last chapter but I lied to you. There is one more chapter, it's short and self indulgent because my heart cannot handle bad endings.
If you noticed me implying the existence of Pope Leo XIV in the Ghost universe yes you did. I followed the conclave process earlier this year at the same time that the fandom was freaking out about Pet and I think about them both multiple times a day. You eminence if somehow you realise you're in a fan fiction about a Satanic heavy metal band, you did not and I already know the likelihood of me seeing heaven is below zero.
On a side note, the wonderful @fieryyflint on Tumblr drew Void!!!!!!! They're insanely talented and their design is so close to how I picture them! I would add their drawing here if I had the wherewithal to embed images into my fics (I have tried, I don't know why it won't work help)
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