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Ned had been prepared to be welcomed home as the Lord of Winterfell, but what he did not expect was clapping and cheering as he rode through the streets of the Wintertown, smallfolk crowded in doorways and leaning over windowsills to see him pass. He had seen hesitant shows of support the whole ride back, but nothing like this. In the South, no one wanted to be accused of treason for hailing him as a hero, not with Robert and Jon Arryn dead. Here, however, the people were not cheering their anti-Targaryen hero, but the fact that their lord had come home. If not for Rhaegar having the mercy to pardon him, tiny Robb would be lord now, and a child lord was never a good thing.
Ned's heart leapt at the thought of meeting his son for the first time, then dropped as Mya leaned further forward over his saddle horn to look at the new sights. She was four years old already, with coal black hair to her shoulders, sparkling sapphire blue eyes, and round cheeks red from the cold. She looked so much like a tiny Robert he wondered how he could ever hope to pass off this girl as his own daughter. He almost hoped Catelyn would see it immediately and call him out on it before Ned even had a chance to lie to her.
"Papa?" Mya asked, tugging on his sleeve with one hand as she pointed up at the towers of Winterfell with the other. "Is that our new home?"
"Yes," He murmured to her, guiding his horse through the portcullis.
Winterfell was the same as he remembered, but it felt terribly lonely without his father, Brandon, or Lyanna. While his father had been grim and serious most of the time, his boisterous brother and sister meant there was always something going on. Part of him felt a tug toward the crypts, thought he should go there immediately and pay respects, but Ned knew it was more important to speak to his living family first.
Catelyn either didn't know he was coming or didn't care enough to come to meet him, but that wasn't true for everyone. "Ned!" Came a shout, and Benjen bolted out the huge double doors to the feast hall, waving wildly. Behind him was Maester Luwin and Rickard Karstark, both of whom were looking disapprovingly at the boy who had been their acting lord for nearly two years.
Smiling, Ned swung from the saddle to embrace his youngest brother. Benjen was tall for a thirteen year old, but still only came up to his shoulder, a fact Ned noticed when his little brother buried his face in his furs and hugged him so tightly it hurt a little. Ned hugged back, then stepped back to tousle Benjen's hair, pausing with a hand still on his head when he saw tears shining in the boy's blue eyes.
"Ben, what's wrong?" He asked, though his gaze had flicked to Karstark, who was now crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm just really happy you're home," he said in a small voice. "I was afraid you weren't going to come back."
That sent a stab of pain through Ned. Of course. Benjen had watched everyone he loved ride off to the South, only to never come back. Lyanna was now ensconced in the Red Keep as Rhaegar's second queen, likely to never visit the North again, and Brandon and Rickard had died terrible deaths at the hands of the Mad King. The fact that Ned was alive at all after leading a rebellion against the Targaryens must seem like a miracle to him (and it almost was). Thinking of the Targaryen knights who'd rode with him since he crossed the Neck, Ned had to push all the feelings away. He couldn't bring himself to shatter Benjen's happiness immediately, and Rhaegar could wait an extra day for his hostage.
"Well I made it," He said finally. "And I brought you a friend," He went back to the horse and held out his arms for Mya, who slid into them so he could set her down.
"Mya, this is my brother Benjen," Ned said, pointing the boy out. "Ben, this is Mya. She's my daughter."
The lie was heavy on his tongue, as it had been when he'd told his men to march home alone while he went to the Eyrie. Benjen's eyes went wide in shock, and for a moment Ned was afraid he was going to say something mean, then he went down on his knees and held out his arms.
"Hello Mya! Come say hi to your Uncle Benjen."
Mya looked up at Ned suspiciously. "Do I have to hug him?"
"No," He almost laughed, then turned back to Benjen. "Get up. Where's Catelyn?"
"Probably with Robb," He shrugged. "All she does is pray and hold the baby and embroider things. She did a cool black direwolf for one of my doublets."
Catelyn likes to embroider. Ned realized he didn't know this about her, and it hurt. Brandon would have known that, like he seemed to know everything about every woman he ever met. Ned, meanwhile, was getting ready to share his life with a practical stranger. Marrying her had been the right thing, the honorable thing, but that didn't make it any easier.
"Mya," He said, scooping the girl up into his arms. "Let's go meet my wife."
"Is she going to be my new mom?" She inquired, eyes so full of innocent hope.
Ned decided not to respond to this.
"Lord Stark," Rickard Karstark immediately crossed the yard to him as soon as he saw Ned take a step. "There's some matters I want to discuss with you."
"Later," Ned would usually have made time for a bannerman, but right then he couldn't think of it. "I have yet to meet my son."
Making his way through Winterfell to the nursery where he was raised, he felt his heart clench. He was very likely going to break his marriage in just minutes, and there was a part of his brain screaming not to do it, but more of him remembered Robert. Robert had died for his sister. The very least he could do was protect the daughter he had loved so well. King Rhaegar did not appear to share his father's insanity, and he had been more than generous to the rebels. He had allowed Ned to keep his head and his titles, and would have done the same for Stannis if he had not chosen the Wall and left Storm's End to young Renly. Only Jon Arryn had been killed, but that was because he refused to swear fealty to Rhaegar along with the others when Lyanna returned. Rhaegar had killed the man he viewed as his son, and he had no wish to bow to him. Still, who knew what King Rhaegar would do to the direct line of the Usurper. Yes, the claim of a bastard daughter was incredibly weak, but more likely than not she would have no kind of life. Yes, Robert's bastard was an open secret among their generation, but her name hadn't gotten around, and no one would think to look for her in Winterfell, especially with her mother saying she had died. With any luck, she would be safe.
Ned paused at the door of the nursery, peaking inside. His wife sat in a rocking chair, fingers flying over an embroidery hoop while a baby played on the floor in front of her, chewing on a wood-carved wolf with one hand as he shook a horse with the other. Catelyn's red hair was a blaze in the afternoon sunlight, her lips pursed slightly in concentration, and she looked so beautiful he could have cried. Gods, let this woman love him despite everything.
"Lady wife," He said, stepping inside. "How has Winterfell been treating you in my absence?"
"Eddard!" She started violently, dropping the embroidery hoop and turning to see him. "You're home!" Catelyn pressed a hand over her mouth, standing, and to Ned's shock, he saw tears glimmering in her blue eyes.
"You should call me Ned," he told her. "The rest of my family does."
She nodded, but her eyes locked onto Mya. "Who is that?"
The words caught in his throat. He took a deep breath and thought of Robert dying with Lyanna's name on his bloody lips. "This is Mya Snow. My daughter."
"Your daughter," Her voice was clipped.
"From before our marriage," Please, Nameless Gods, let her believe him. "Her mother is a woman from the Vale."
"And you thought it was appropriate to bring her here !" A tear slid down his wife's cheek, and Ned didn't think it was from happiness anymore.
"Her mother fell on hard times. It was the only thing I could do. I won't leave my blood out in the cold."
Catelyn pressed her lips together in a tight line, eyes flicking from Mya to him and back again. "Do you mean for her to be raised alongside my son?"
"Yes," Ned swallowed, and tried to come to terms with the fact that his wife was going to hate him now. He thought a silent apology to Brandon for being such a poor replacement for him, and to Catelyn herself who did not deserve to be treated like this after all she had sacrificed for the Starks.
"I cannot stop you, I suppose," her voice was sharp and sounded close to breaking. "Now, would you like to meet your trueborn son?"
"I would," He said to her, then turned again to Mya, who was looking up at him with big worried eyes.
"Did I do something wrong?" She asked in a small, sad voice that twisted his heart. She would have been so much happier in the Vale with her mother, but Lyanna knew about her, and he could no longer trust his sister not to whisper that into Rhaegar's ear and sentence her to some far worse fate.
"No Mya," He replied. "Can you go sit over there and wait for your things to be brought in?" He pointed to a settee by the window, and she wasted no time climbing up onto it and peering out through a gap in the shutters.
Ignoring the conversation, his wife went over to where the baby that must be Robb was smashing the wooden wolf and fox together and scooped him up into her arms. "Mama!" he said with a whine and Ned realized with a sinking feeling that he was already talking. How many tiny milestones like that had he missed while he was away at war?
"Robb, this is your father," Catelyn said to him, running a hand through his tumble of red curls, eyes finally softening as she looked at their son.
"Hello Robb," Carefully, Ned moved next to her, reaching out a hand for his son. His index finger was caught in a small fist and Robb giggled.
"He likes you already," She murmured.
"Can I hold him?"
"Of course," Ned pulled his finger free and held out his arms. Catelyn gently placed the baby into them, and when their fingers brushed he felt the same spark he'd felt on their wedding day when they clasped hands in front of the Septon. He could only thank the Gods that Mya was old enough that he did not also have to tell Catelyn he had broken his marriage vows.
Once Robb was securely in his grip, Ned looked down at his son, his first child even if he would never get to say it aloud. He remembered Robert grinning as he bounced Mya up and down, and wondered if he too felt the same quiet awe and fierce surge of protectiveness. This was everything he had been fighting for for the past two years, and while his child might not be growing up in the world Ned had imagined under the stars at the Eyrie, it was at least still one without Mad King Aerys.
"That's your Papa," Catelyn said gently to Robb. "Can you say hello to him?"
Robb blinked up at Ned with huge grey eyes, the only Stark feature on a face that was otherwise all Catelyn. "Hewo Papa!" He said in a small voice, not quite managing the L sound.
Ned couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, feeling like his heart was about to burst with love. When he looked up at his wife, she was smiling too, and when she felt his gaze and met it, the smile did not drop. Yes, it went guarded, and there were still tears at the corner of her eyes, but she was clearly making an effort.
Ned had thought Catelyn Tully to be a woman of duty, true to her house words. Duty, however, meant nothing more than having Ned's children and fulfilling the role of a castle's Lady. Her duty was not to smile now, not to try to be fine after he had dishonored her by bringing his bastard into their home. That was a side of Catelyn Stark Ned did not know, and one he hoped to meet and understand if she would let him.
---
It turned out Ned still had a lot to learn about his new wife. He found that out that very evening. After dinner, he had retreated to his chambers (really his father's, but all of his things had been moved in while he was away), still thinking about the look on Benjen's face when he'd told his brother he would be going back to King's Landing when the Targaryen party left. He had looked like his heart was about to break, and it made Ned want to cry and curse the Targaryens for tearing apart their family even more, but he also knew there was no other choice. He was lucky Rhaegar had decided to let him live at all, and this was the price of a failed rebellion. Rhaegar needed hostages from the surviving rebellious lords, and the Starks only had two children who could fit.
Benjen or Robb.
That had been the choice he was offered, and it hadn't really been a choice at all. He couldn't rip his infant son away from his mother before any of them really had a chance to know him, and even though he knew Lyanna would take good care of his child, it would have destroyed any trust people would have in him as Lord of Winterfell in the future. It would also have broken Catelyn's heart. Benjen was thirteen, old enough to fend for himself and understand what was happening, and he would have Lyanna, who he had always been closest to. He could even train to become a knight.
He was jolted out of his worrying by a knock on the door. When Ned opened it, he found Catelyn there, in nothing but her robe and nightgown. "Why are you here?" He asked.
She blushed, fixing her gaze on a point over Ned's shoulder. "I assumed you had forgotten to summon me."
"Oh," Ned swallowed, feeling his own cheeks heating. "I had meant to give you time..." He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence. Time to recover from Robb's birth? Time to stop being mad at him for bringing a bastard into her house? Time to get to know him?
"Wouldn't it be better to get after it?"
Ned hesitated. That was what the good lord of Winterfell would do, make sure he had enough children to strengthen the Stark line, but he had not been raised to be lord of Winterfell. "Catelyn," he said, trying to keep his tone even and soft. "I will never expect you to go to bed with me. Of course I will if you want to, but," He took a breath. "Do not feel as if you have to."
"Because I have already given you a son and you can find other women to warm your bed?" she snapped, and Ned realized quite suddenly what this was.
"Cat, look at me," he said, and whether it was the request or the familiar nickname her blue eyes snapped to his. "I will never break our marriage vows, and there are no other women in my heart."
She was silent for a long moment, then said. "I want to believe that."
"Then let me prove it to you," Ned pleaded. "I would like for us to like each other."
"And how do you intend to do that," Catelyn asked him, arms crossed over her chest.
"However you want," Ned said, meaning it completely. If Catelyn asked for the moon, he would find a way to fix it for her. They were not yet in love as the songs would describe the lovers in an arraigned marriage, but he cared for his new wife, more than he had ever expected to. He wanted to have that kind of love so badly it hurt, and anything he could do to get both of them there would be worth it.
"Well," She considered. "Since the girl is here to stay, I would like one of my own."
Ned choked on air, face turning red. "What?"
"We already have a son, I would like our next child to be a daughter."
"You want to-now!" He squeaked.
"Yes," Now it was her turn to blush. "Unless you don't want-'
"No, no, we can!" Ned said hurriedly, stepping aside to let her in.
---
Catelyn fell asleep directly afterwards, and her soft warm body against his under the furs was unfamiliar and comforting all at once. Ned gently ran a hand through her long red hair, teasing out the tangles in it with his fingers as he wondered at how lucky he'd gotten to have her as his wife. Of course, it was a false kind of luck, because their marriage meant his older brother was dead, and he'd already inserted the monumental lie that was Mya into their new life together, but after everything the Starks had lost, a wife who did not completely hate him was a wonder all its own.
Ned wasn't sure if he pulled too hard on her hair or if she merely sensed his thoughts, but Catelyn suddenly rolled over, bringing their faces close together. There were freckles on her face that he'd never noticed before.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked.
Ned sighed. He couldn’t exactly tell her that. "I'm so sorry Catelyn. For everything."
She laughed, and there was something very sad in it. "If you're waiting for me to tell you all is forgiven and I will raise the girl like my own, you should stop. I understand why you felt the need to take her in, but the idea of raising a bastard with my trueborn children," Catelyn blew out a breath. "You have to understand why I have problems with that."
Ned did. He had thought long and hard about it on their ride back to Winterfell, how the first proper interaction he would have with Catelyn since their marriage would be him devaluing her place as a mother. "I hope someday you'll understand why I did it," he told her finally, meaning every word. Ned wanted to trust Catelyn, but the truth was he barely knew her. If she knew who Mya was, she might demand the girl be sent away, or do something that alerted Rhaegar. Hopefully, with enough time, he would trust both his new wife and new king enough to reveal Mya's true parentage, but that would be many years in the future, if ever.
"I'm trying, Eddard," Catelyn's voice was suddenly fervent, and tears gleamed in her blue eyes. "I'm trying so hard to understand you and the North and how to be a good wife and mother. If it's not enough, I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to do.
Ned understood that. Maybe not as acutely, because the North was his home and war could not sway the Old Gods, but no one had prepared him for this either. Until two years ago, he had expected to marry a good Northern woman and rebuild an old keep. He was not supposed to be Lord, and Robert was not supposed to be dead, and none of this should have happened. "I'm trying too,” He finally said. “It's all we can do. You have nothing to apologize for."
Another flicker of a smile, and Ned felt nimble fingers find twine with his under the sheets. "Then let us try to work together from here on," Catelyn was silent for a beat, seemingly considering, and then she blurted out. "I was heir of Riverrun until Edmure was born. My father treated me as his son as well as his daughter. I can help, if you need it. And if you'll help me with what I don't know about the North. Benjen's been sweet, but he's a kid, and I feel like Jon Umber is about to chop my head off every time I pray before eating."
"I can take that deal," Ned squeezed her hand back. "We'll learn to do this thing together."
"You know," Catelyn murmured. "I actually believe we can."
Paul Eisen (Guest) Sun 03 Aug 2025 04:24PM UTC
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