Chapter 1: Starting a chat
Chapter Text
(Link started a chat)
(Link added Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, and Terrako to the chat)
Link: 👋
Mipha: Link? What’s this?
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Zelda: ?????
Daruk: whejkjkrjhhkhekjjhkjhk
Revali: you drunk or something?
Daruk: just figuring out how to use this thing
Revali: what’s this anyway?
Mipha: It looks like some kind of message group…
Link: 👍
Urbosa: first we’re all given sheikah slates, and then this… intriguing
Impa: My sister did say this was a new feature for the sheikah slate. It allows users to create message chats with groups of people. It’s what Link did just now.
Link: 👍
Revali: hey, you, are you just going to communicate in weird symbols the whole time?
Link: 👍
Revali: uuugh, just type words like the rest of us!
Terrako: 👋
Revali: Wait, you too? What’s the guardian doing on here?
Terrako: :)
Revali: ugh, it’s annoying, get it away!
Terrako: ********** >:(
Zelda: Terrako! Where did you learn all those swear words!?
Impa: He’s been talking to corrupted guardian stalkers again, hasn’t he…
Zelda: Terrako, I told you to stay away from them!
Revali: You’re swearing at ME!? I’ll let you know you’re a F***ING PEST! Wait– why can’t I swear?
(Purah joined the chat)
Purah: Sorry, we can’t have any of that foul language on here! There are children who use this chat!
Terrako: **** 🫵
(Robbie joined the chat)
Robbie: Goes for you too, Terrako! WE KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY!
Terrako: :(
Revali: What children!?
(Tulin and Riju joined the chat)
Tulin: yooooo!
Riju: heya!
Revali: oh my god… children…
Tulin: I’m playing a game on my sheikah slate rn!
Riju: u can do that??
Tulin: DUH!
(King Rhoam joined the chat)
King Rhoam: What is this?
Zelda: oh, father, it’s a group chat
King Rhoam: A what?
Zelda: you can send people digital messages on a chat using the sheikah slate
King Rhoam: I don’t see how this is going to be useful for preventing the calamity…
Tulin: ok boomer
(Teba joined the chat)
Teba: Tulin, are you off the sheikah slate yet?
Tulin: OH CRAP DAD’S HERE
(Tulin left the chat)
Teba: *sighs*
(Teba left the chat)
Impa: it must be hard to be a father
Zelda: yes, it must…
King Rhoam: it IS
(King Rhoam left the chat)
Zelda: father…
(Hestu joined the chat)
Hestu: hey guys! anyone want to dance!?
Link: 🥦!
Hestu: not what I’m called
Revali: as much as I’d LOVE space for more bows… I haven’t collected enough korok seeds for your scheme
Hestu: aw
(Hestu left the chat)
(Sidon joined the chat)
Sidon: Hello friends!
Link: 👋
Mipha: Sidon…?
Sidon: Hello, dear sister! It’s wonderful to see you again!
(Yunobo joined the chat)
Yunobo: h– hey guys, not quite sure how to use this thing, but… I’m trying my best!
Daruk: you’re doing great!
(Monk Maz Koshia joined the chat)
Monk Maz Koshia: Greetings.
Link: 🏍?
Monk Maz Koshia: Patience, child. I’m still working on it.
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
Impa: …Purah, how many people did you give sheikah slates?
Purah: Everyone!
Impa: …everyone?
Purah: Yup!
Impa: You don’t mean EVERYONE everyone, right?
Purah: I DO! Everyone across Hyrule has a sheikah slate now!
Impa: hylia help me, how many people are there going to be on this chat?
(Master Kohga and Sooga joined the chat)
Master Kohga: what’s happening, everyone?
Sooga: it would appear half of Hyrule is on this chat…
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: hello mere mortals
Master Kohga: YOUUUUU TRAITORRRRR! SCREW YOU!
Sooga: Master Kohga, please calm yourself. But… yes. Screw him.
(Ganon joined the chat)
Impa: Oh. My. Hylia. PURAH!!!!!
Purah: What?
Impa: YOU GAVE THE F***ING CALAMITY A F***ING SHEIKAH SLATE!?
Ganon: YOU ARE MORTAL AS WELL, ASTOR
Astor: what? nonsense, I can’t possibly be– AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH–
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Revali: HA! GET OWNED!
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Zelda: oh no, he needs to be charged again… I must go, everyone!
(Zelda left the chat)
Revali: Why don’t the corrupted guardian stalkers run out of power?
Robbie: We think it’s because of Ganon’s power!
Riju: I have to go, Buliara wants to tell me about something!
(Riju left the chat)
Urbosa: Wait, how is she chief when I’m already chief?
Robbie: In a way, you both are!
Urbosa: But how is that possible?
Revali: This whole thing isn’t real. It’s BOTW, AOC, AND TOTK all at the same time.
Purah: Revali, don’t be a fourth wall breaker!
Revali: anyway, this is stupid, I’m going to refine my technique for Revali’s Gale
(Revali left the chat)
Sooga: Master Kohga, we should go too.
Master Kohga: You’re right, it’s lunchtime! I’m starving!
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Robbie: I’m going to work on unraveling the mysteries of sheikah and zonai technology!
(Robbie left the chat)
Purah: Me too!
(Purah left the chat)
Ganon: GOODBYE.
(Ganon left the chat)
Impa: Jeez, caps lock much?
Urbosa: The Gerudo desert should get better signal… I have to go…
(Urbosa left the chat)
Daruk: Death Mountain too.
(Daruk left the chat)
Yunobo: ye–
(Yunobo was disconnected from the chat)
Sidon: Zora’s Domain does have good signal, but I should leave as well! Goodbye, friends! I have duties to attend to! I hope to chat with you all again soon!
(Sidon left the chat)
Impa: Well, since everyone’s going, I guess I’ll go too. Bye people!
(Impa left the chat)
Mipha: It’s just us now, Link.
Link: 👍
Mipha: I have to go as well, unfortunately… but we can talk more another time.
Link: 👍
(Mipha left the chat)
Link: 👋
(Link ended the chat)
Chapter Text
(Purah started a chat)
(Purah added Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, and Link to the chat)
Impa: Purah, what’s this about?
Purah: Hey guys! Robbie and I have been developing new features for sheikah slate chats!
(Robbie joined the chat)
Robbie: Today we’re introducing a feature called RENAMING!!!!! You can change your name on the chat to be anything you want!
Revali: Can we also change other people’s names?
Robbie: Of course n–
Purah: Yes!
Robbie: Wait… what?
Purah: Anyone can change anyone else’s name! Go wild, people!
Robbie: PURAH WHAT!? THIS ISN’T WHAT WE AGREED ON!!!
(Purah left the chat)
(Robbie left the chat)
(Urbosa renamed Revali Asinine)
Asinine: Wha–! I’ll show you…
(Asinine renamed themself Revali)
(Revali renamed Urbosa Buttface)
Revali: There.
Buttface: Is that seriously the worst you could come up with?
Impa: Who else is just… watching their fight?
Link: 👀🍿
Daruk: hell yeah, little guy!
(Buttface renamed themself Urbosa)
Mipha: Could I try renaming people…?
Urbosa: sure
Mipha: okay…
(Mipha renamed Daruk GoronWarrior)
(Mipha renamed Impa SheikahAdvisor)
(Mipha renamed Link TheHylianKnight)
(Mipha renamed Revali RitoWarrior)
(Mipha renamed Urbosa GerudoChief)
(Mipha renamed Zelda HylianPrincess)
(Mipha renamed themself ZoraPrincess)
GerudoChief: Okay this is all just accurate
GoronWarrior: yeah, super civilized! to be expected from Mipha!
TheHylianKnight: 👍
RitoWarrior: better than asinine
SheikahAdvisor: very accurate
HylianPrincess: indeed
GoronWarrior: Could I give it a spin?
ZoraPrincess: oh, sure
(all names were reset)
Mipha: Go ahead, Daruk!
Daruk: Thanks! Alright, let’s go!
(Daruk renamed Impa TinySheikah)
(Daruk renamed Link LittleGuy)
(Daruk renamed Revali TinyRito)
(Daruk renamed Zelda TinyPrincess)
(Daruk renamed Mipha EvenTinierPrincess)
(Daruk renamed Urbosa TinyGerudo)
TinyRito: I’M NOT TINY YOU’RE JUST HUGE
TinyPrincess: huh…
EvenTinierPrincess: …
TinyGerudo: we should’ve expected Daruk’s renaming to be like this
LittleGuy: !!!
TinySheikah: I’m actually tall for a sheikah
TinyGerudo: could I try now?
GoronWarrior: yeah, sure!
(all names were reset)
(Urbosa renamed Revali AsininePoultry)
(Urbosa renamed Link TheHero)
(Urbosa renamed Mipha PreciousCinnamonRoll)
(Urbosa renamed Zelda LittleBird)
(Urbosa renamed Impa SheikahVai)
(Urbosa renamed Daruk Goron)
AsininePoultry: URBOSA I’M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU–
Urbosa: HAHAHAHAHA WORTH IT
LittleBird: ah… this nickname
Urbosa: yup
PreciousCinnamonRoll: What is a “cinnamon roll”?
Link: 😋
PreciousCinnamonRoll: ???
Urbosa: it’s you, Mipha
PreciousCinnamonRoll: I don’t get it?
Urbosa: “cinnamon roll” is used to refer to someone who is very kind, sometimes even overly so
PreciousCinnamonRoll: I… see.
Urbosa: and you’re precious ofc
Goron: is no one gonna talk about how unoriginal this is? really Urbosa?
Urbosa: I didn’t know what to put tbh
Goron: am I that boring
SheikahVai: mine too
TheHero: …
(AsininePoultry renamed themself Revali)
Revali: Alright, that’s IT, it’s my turn!
(all names were reset)
(Revali renamed Urbosa AsinineDeepFriedCamel)
(Revali renamed Daruk OversizedRock)
(Revali renamed Link TheFallenKnight)
(Revali renamed Zelda RudePrincess)
(Revali renamed Impa NarutoRun)
(Revali renamed Mipha Doc)
(Revali renamed themself TheRitoLegend)
TheRitoLegend: accurate at last
AsinineDeepFriedCamel: I honestly don’t care
TheRitoLegend: good because that’s what you really are
OversizedRock: I knew asinine was your favorite word!
NarutoRun: um… what?
TheRitoLegend: you run like Naruto characters
NarutoRun: who?
TheRitoLegend: nevermind
RudePrincess: …you’re not wrong, honestly…
TheRitoLegend: I’m never wrong
TheFallenKnight: -_-
TheRitoLegend: we all know I’m correct, I’m just the only one with the backbone to come out and say it
Doc: …what does my name mean?
TheRitoLegend: it’s short for doctor
Doc: Doctor…? Why?
TheRitoLegend: ahem… well, you’ve healed my wings a few times in the past…
Doc: Oh okay I see…
OversizedRock: bro do you have a soft spot for Mipha or something?????
TheRitoLegend: shut up
AsinineDeepFriedCamel: he TOTALLY does
TheRitoLegend: SHUT UP
RudePrincess: well, anyway, I think it’s just about time to shut this chat down for the day
TheRitoLegend: fine
(all names were reset)
Link: 👋
Mipha: Goodbye, Link.
Daruk: Goodbye, tiny people!
Urbosa: see ya!
Zelda: byeeeee
Impa: goodbye
(Link ended the chat)
Notes:
The chapter the summary excerpt comes from is next! I'm posting it tomorrow!
Chapter 3: Checking in
Chapter Text
(Robbie started a chat)
(Robbie added Link, Impa, Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Sidon, Yunobo, Teba, Tulin, Terrako, and Riju to the chat)
Robbie: Check in time, how’s everyone doing?
Impa: currently helping my sister clean up after her recent experiment…
Zelda: I too am helping… I’m ashamed to admit I was part of this experiment…
Terrako: #$%&
(Impa, Zelda, and Terrako left the chat)
Robbie: Everyone else?
Daruk: enjoying some rock roast with my descendant!
Yunobo: y– yes!
Tulin: playing more games on my sheikah slate!
Teba: Tulin, I expect you off within the next hour
Tulin: *sighs* yes, DAD
Urbosa: I just got done electrocuting a molduga, I’ll post the pictures later
Link: ⛰️🐴⚔️🔜☠️😤
Urbosa: huh
Daruk: What are you saying, little guy?
Revali: pictionary with Link again, FUN /s
Mipha: Um, I think… he’s talking about killing the lynel on Ploymus Mountain.
Link: 👍
Daruk: ooohhh… great job, little guy!
Urbosa: of course YOU’D know, Mipha ^-^
Mipha: Yes… we just finished killing it together.
Urbosa: oh
Sidon: Ah, yes, I was there as well! It was a wonderful experience to fight alongside my beloved sister and dear friend Link!
Daruk: awesome, invite me next time!
Revali: tch, I just finished killing a guardian completely on my own, from the sky
Mipha: Oh, right! I’ll heal your feathers from those lasers it struck you with at the next meeting!
Revali: MIPHA
Tulin: did bro get smoked
Revali: shut up
Riju: I think blud did
Revali: SHUT UP CHILDREN
Robbie: How did the renaming go…? Was it okay…?
Daruk: it was actually surprisingly tame
Robbie: Oh good… I was afraid after that change Purah made without consulting me…
Revali: it was alright, I even got revenge at the end…
Mipha: Oh wait… there’s one champion who never got to try renaming everyone…
Revali: There was?
Mipha: Link didn’t get to try renaming everyone.
Link: 😄
Revali: tch, who cares, he isn’t a real champion anyway
Link: 😠🖕
Revali: DID THAT LITTLE TWUNK JUST FLIP ME OFF!?
Urbosa: LMFAOOOOO
Daruk: Go ahead, little guy! You can rename us now!
Link: 🤔
(Link renamed Daruk 👊🪨)
(Link renamed Revali 🙄🍗)
(Link renamed Mipha ♥️🐟)
(Link renamed Urbosa ⚡🐒)
(Link renamed Sidon 😁🐟)
(Link renamed Yunobo 😨🪨)
(Link renamed Teba 😐🐦)
(Link renamed Tulin 😄🐤)
(Link renamed Riju 😆🐒)
Link: 👍
♥️🐟: Okay, so… Link typically uses 🐟 to refer to Zora, 🪨 to refer to Gorons, 🐦 to refer to Rito, and 🐒 to refer to Gerudo, even though none of us are actually fish, rocks, birds, or monkeys.
🙄🍗: why is mine THIS and not a BIRD then
♥️🐟: I’m not actually sure… but the emoji he put means he’s annoyed by you…
🙄🍗: oh, tch, I don’t even care
👊🪨: What do the other emoji mean?
♥️🐟: The fist means he believes you’re very physically strong and steady!
👊🪨: awesome, never knew these little symbols could carry so much hidden meaning!
⚡🐒: I take it the electricity has to do with my ability
♥️🐟: Yes! As for the others, Sidon, yours refers to your smile.
😁🐟: 😁
♥️🐟: Yunobo, yours is because you’re… well… frightened easily.
😨🪨: g– got it
♥️🐟: Teba, Link sees you as emotionless, and he respects you.
😐🐦: I see
♥️🐟: Tulin, however, is very excitable…
😄🐤: guess so!
♥️🐟: and he put a chick rather than the normal bird because you’re young
😆🐒: what about me
♥️🐟: You must laugh a lot, Riju!
😆🐒: oh okie
♥️🐟: Are they all correct, Link?
Link: 👍
♥️🐟: Great!
👊🪨: What about your name, Mipha?
♥️🐟: M– mine?
👊🪨: Yeah, the emoji in yours!
♥️🐟: Oh, well… he loves me… of course. Just as I love him.
Link: 🫶
♥️🐟: 🫶
(all names were reset)
Teba: Tulin, it’s time to get off
Tulin: aw… fine
(Teba and Tulin left the chat)
Riju: gtg bye
(Riju left the chat)
Urbosa: I should also go
(Urbosa left the chat)
Revali: I have work
(Revali left the chat)
Daruk: gonna go get some rock roast, bye people
Yunobo: m– me too!
(Daruk and Yunobo left the chat)
Sidon: Goodbye, friends!
(Sidon left the chat)
Link: 👋
Mipha: Oh, you’re leaving now, Link?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Alright… goodbye.
(Link left the chat)
Mipha: I should leave as well.
(Mipha left the chat)
(Robbie ended the chat)
Chapter Text
(The 24 main characters joined the chat)
Purah: wait a–
Impa: ???
Purah: THE VERY CHAT BROKE THE FOURTH WALL ITSELF!? HOW DO I CHANGE IT!?
Robbie: you can’t, unfortunately… chat history can’t be altered yet
Purah: we’ve got to work on that… anyway, enjoy your party, everyone!
Robbie: indeed, enjoy the party!
(Purah and Robbie left the chat)
Zelda: Everyone, welcome to Hyrule Castle’s grand New Year’s party!
Sidon: Greetings, friends!
Mipha: Hi everyone!
Master Kohga: Where are the bananas? I only came for the bananas.
Zelda: o– over there
Master Kohga: Got it. Come, Sooga!
Sooga: Understood.
King Rhoam: what are they–
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
King Rhoam: …did they come just to take all the bananas and then leave?
Zelda: i– it appears so
Daruk: Where’s the rock roast?
Yunobo: I found it!
Daruk: Awesome, Yunobo! Let’s dig in!
Urbosa: I see the gerudo brought their noble pursuits… don’t mind if I do…
Riju: oohh, can I have some?
Urbosa: no, Riju, you’re not 19 yet
Riju: boo
Revali: the hell is a noble pursuit?
Urbosa: just an alcoholic drink
Revali: the hell is an alcoholic drink?
Urbosa: wait… Revali… you’ve never…?
Daruk: whoa, what? even Yunobo ate marbled rock roast once!
Revali: I bet it sucks anyway
Urbosa: you should try it
Revali: guh, fine, ONCE
Impa: Revali’s going to get himself drunk…
Revali: heyyyyyy anybody wanna dateeeeeeee
Impa: I knew it…
Revali: Miphaaaaa do you love meeeee?
Mipha: …
Link: 🔪🩸🍗
Impa: Urbosa this is your fault
Zelda: I don’t think she can hear you… she just chugged down ten noble pursuits…
Daruk: they’re already kicking in
Urbosa: wazza kicking rock guy
Daruk: get tf away from me
Urbosa: wazzup miph and dawuk and wink and wavaiuydkgjhbkjhdbdjhg
(Urbosa was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: what the–
Daruk: she literally just fell asleep on her sheikah slate
Revali: I eat Impa hair
Revali: I wanna punch the florrrrr
Revali: Liiiiink would you kiss meeeeee
Link: 🖕
Teba: Tulin, let’s go fly outside for a bit…
Tulin: What? But I wanna watch!
Teba: NOW
(Teba and Tulin have gone offline)
Revali: I wavioli wito
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Daruk: aaaaand he’s out too
Impa: I’m out, this is getting too crazy for me
(Impa left the chat)
Paya: wait for me!
(Paya left the chat)
King Rhoam: in any case, it’s about time for me to go to bed… Zelda, I leave you in charge of the party
Zelda: wait– WHAT!?
(King Rhoam left the chat)
Zelda: FATHER!
(Teba and Tulin are back online)
Tulin: What’d we miss?
Monk Maz Koshia: 59 seconds until the new year begins.
Zelda: Oh, right! Of course! It’s nearly time for the countdown! For everyone still here, are we ready?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Yes.
Sidon: Yes!
Terrako: 👍
Teba: I suppose
Tulin: awesome!
Hestu: YES!
Daruk: HELL YEAH!
Yunobo: y– yes!
Riju: ofc!
King Dorephan: It’s the one reason I’m here, so yes.
Monk Maz Koshia: It’s time. Link, would you do the honors?
Link: 1️⃣0️⃣
Link: 9️⃣
Link: 8️⃣
Link: 7️⃣
Link: 6️⃣
Link: 5️⃣
Link: 4️⃣
Link: 3️⃣
Link: 2️⃣
Link: 1️⃣
Link: 0️⃣
Mipha: happy new year!
Sidon: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Terrako: 🎉
Zelda: yes, happy new year everyone!!
Daruk: WOOOOO
Yunobo: YEEEEE
Teba: indeed
Monk Maz Koshia: I will be taking my leave now
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
King Dorephan: I will as well
(King Dorephan left the chat)
Daruk: anyone want to do a drinking contest!?
Mipha: I think everyone who might’ve wanted to is drunk already…
Hestu: I’ll do it!
Zelda: YOU will?
Hestu: I’ve never tried alcohol before! This’ll be fun!
Mipha: …
Daruk: you sure, korok dancer!
Hestu: let’s go!
Tulin: this popcorn tastes great!
Riju: it does!
*a few moments later*
Daruk: I SWEAR TO HYLIA THAT DOGS ARE EVIL
Hestu: WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GOTTA HIDE WITH MY MARACAS
Daruk: JUST LOOK AT THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES, AND BODIES PRIMED TO ATTACK, AND NO ANIMAL IS THAT FRIENDLY TOWARD PEOPLE THEY HAVE TO BE PLOTTING SOMETHINGGGGG
Hestu: I HATE EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGG
(Daruk and Hestu were disconnected from the chat)
Link: 🏅?
Mipha: I think they both lost…
Tulin: wooooohooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Riju: wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
Teba: it sounds like the children are getting hyper now…
Mipha: Let’s put the children and all of the drunk people to bed…
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Zelda: Good idea, Terrako ran out of power just now too… unfortunately, though, we don’t actually have enough beds…
Teba: Tulin, we can fly back to Rito Village.
Tulin: awwwww…
Teba: Come on, those without wings aren’t as fortunate as us.
(Teba and Tulin left the chat)
Yunobo: I think we can stack drunk people ontop of each other… it’s not like they’ll wake up…
Mipha: P– perhaps not, but they could… die?
Yunobo: They could?
Sidon: Of course they could!
Yunobo: Huh, but we do this all the time at home when there aren’t enough beds…
Zelda: Not everyone is as sturdy as Gorons are…
Yunobo: oh…
Zelda: *sighs* it’s worth a try, though, with how many people we have to get into bed…
Link: 2️⃣🧍🛏️?
Zelda: uh… what?
Mipha: Link’s asking if there are any two person beds
Zelda: there’s one, but, uh… why do you ask?
Link: ♥️🐟
Mipha: o– oh… I see…
Zelda: go ahead and take it, sure
Link: 👍
Mipha: …
(Link and Mipha left the chat)
Zelda: there’s also a one person bed in the same room… anyone willing to take it?
Sidon: I will!
(Sidon left the chat)
Zelda: okay, now the issue of drunk people and children…
Yunobo: I’ll show you how to stack them ontop of each other!
Zelda: wait a minute… what’s that?
Yunobo: h– huh? that sound…!
Ganon: I AM BACK.
Zelda: OH MY HYLIA
(Purah joined the chat)
Purah: how’d the party… oh.
Zelda: Purah you invited GANON!?
Purah: I invited everyone, so… yeah.
(Robbie joined the chat)
Robbie: is Hyrule Castle going upward now or is that my imagination?
Zelda: F****
(everyone was disconnected from the chat)
Notes:
The next morning, after Ganon is beaten again and everything…
(everyone reconnected to the chat)
Revali: HELP ME I WOKE UP UNDER A GIANT BROCCOLI AND HYPERACTIVE MONKEY CHILD HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE WHY WHY WHY
Link: 🤣🫵
Revali: WHY YOU–
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Chapter 5: Pings and bots
Chapter Text
(Robbie started a chat)
(Robbie added added Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, and Link to the chat)
Robbie: It’s that time again! I’m here to introduce a new feature for sheikah slate chats!
Impa: What is it?
Robbie: It’s pinging!
Revali: what is “pinging”
Robbie: It’s when you notify a certain user by typing an @ symbol followed by their name and they will receive a notification no matter where they are or what they’re doing! For example… @Purah
(Purah joined the chat)
Purah: Click, snap!
Mipha: Oh, wow… it works even when they aren’t on the chat?
Robbie: Correct! And the chat bot allowing for this is @CharactersChatBot!
CharactersChatBot: Hi! What can I help you with?
Robbie: …and that’s the automated message for whenever you ping it.
Daruk: What else can it do?
Robbie: Try asking it a question!
Daruk: What kind of question?
Robbie: Anything!
Daruk: @CharactersChatBot what’s your favorite food?
CharactersChatBot: I do not have one, as I don’t need to eat!
Daruk: huh
Impa: @CharactersChatBot what can you do?
CharactersChatBot: My functions include but are not limited to answering questions, playing games, helping with pinging, and giving out chat roles!
Impa: interesting
CharactersChatBot: Well, do you have any further questions or should I simply end the chat?
Impa: you can end it
(CharactersChatBot ended the chat)
Chapter 6: Truth or dare
Chapter Text
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Mipha, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Daruk: I have a game to suggest for today, fellow champions!
Mipha: What is it?
Daruk: Truth or dare!
Urbosa: oh, sure, let’s do it!
Link: 👍
Daruk: Who wants to go first?
Urbosa: I will! Link, truth or dare?
Link: 1️⃣
Urbosa: Are you in love with Mipha?
Link: 👍
Mipha: O.O
Revali: well, duh, we can all tell
Daruk: I’ll go now! Urbosa, truth or dare!
Urbosa: dare
Daruk: roll down a hill!
Urbosa: uh… what?
Revali: don’t be a chicken
Urbosa: I’ll have to go find one first but sure
(Urbosa has gone offline)
(Urbosa is back online)
Urbosa: there, sent the video
Daruk: Got it! Who wants to go now?
Revali: I’m not playing
Urbosa: Mipha, you go now!
Mipha: Oh, um… okay, Revali, I dare you to fly into Gerudo Town, right in front of the guards, and screech at the top of your lungs “THE RITO BRANCH OF THE YIGA HATH RETURNED!”
Revali: did you not read the message I just sent!?
Mipha: (Urbosa told me to)
Revali: I’m not even playing
Urbosa: don’t be a scaredy-bird
Revali: I’ll pay you back for this
(Revali has gone offline)
Mipha: Is he actually doing it…?
Urbosa: I’m keeping an eye out
Link: 👀
Urbosa: I see a Rito flying in… it’s Revali!
Daruk: NO WAY!
Urbosa: he yelled “THE RITO BRANCH OF THE YIGA HATH RETURNED!” aaaaand the guards chased him out with their spears
Mipha: …
Daruk: I’M DEAD
Link: 🤣
(Revali is back online)
Revali: a spear literally took a feather off my wing…
Urbosa: heheheh
Revali: Funny. My turn now. Urbosa, I am daring you to jump off a cliff, right now.
Urbosa: there aren’t any cliffs in the gerudo desert
Revali: You have plenty in the gerudo highlands I had to fly over on my way to gerudo town. Go there. Jump down.
Urbosa: Revali–
Revali: “DON’T BE A SCAREDY-BIRD”, ASININE DEEP FRIED CAMEL
Daruk: whoa, Ravioli’s bringing out the big guns
Revali: DON’T CALL ME THAT ALSO ACTUALLY I’M GONNA DARE YOU ALL TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF (except Mipha)
Daruk: yeah, sure, Daruk’s Protection is ready to roll!
(Link has gone offline)
Mipha: Link…?
Urbosa: I don’t think he’s actually doing it… probably…
Daruk: what’s happening
Mipha: wait, I can see him at Shatterback Point… to practice diving, hopefully…
Daruk: come to think of it… he once tried to jump off Death Mountain on a dare… I wouldn’t put it past him
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: NO HE JUST JUMPED OFF THE SIDE HE’S FALLING TOWARD THE GROUND THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING NOOOOOOOOOO REVALI YOU SUCK
(Mipha was disconnected from the chat)
Urbosa: shame on you Ravioli
Revali: what I am about to do isn’t for Link, or for you Urbosa, or for Daruk
(Revali has gone offline)
(Link and Mipha reconnected to the chat)
(Revali is back online)
Mipha: Revali… thank you…
Daruk: What happened!?
Mipha: Revali caught Link before he hit the ground…
Urbosa: damn Revali, I didn’t know you actually cared, so I take back what I just said
Revali: okay no I wanted to see Link implode but I realize Mipha would never even talk to me again
Mipha: …I don’t know what to say at this point…
Daruk: damnit, this was the most intense game of truth or dare I’ve ever played, I have to go lie down
Urbosa: seeya
(Daruk left the chat)
Urbosa: I’m going too before Revali remembers what he dared me to go do
(Urbosa left the chat)
Revali: HEY
(Revali left the chat)
Mipha: Link, goodbye… and please don’t throw yourself off a cliff again, ever.
Link: 🐦🛟!
Mipha: Yeah, okay, Revali saved you this time, but you could’ve died! What about me, then?
Link: 🔮
Mipha: You… you KNEW he was going to catch you?
Link: 👍
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: Ah, my young apprentice, we shall become future-seers together and foretell the return of–
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 😠🖕
Mipha: …
Link: 🙂👋
Mipha: Yes… goodbye.
(Mipha left the chat)
(Link ended the chat)
Chapter Text
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Mipha, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Daruk: I have another game to suggest, fellow champions
Revali: What is it this time?
Daruk: Two truths and a lie! It’ll be far safer…
Urbosa: huh
Daruk: I’ll go first! 1. I’ve eaten marbled rock roast before, 2. I fell in lava once, 3. I have a pet rock.
Urbosa: pet rock
Link: 2️⃣
Mipha: it sounds like they’re all true…
Revali: no clue
Daruk: the lie was the marbled rock roast
Urbosa: Wait, WHAT? Even Yunobo tried it, you said!
Daruk: yeah, but for some reason, I just couldn’t eat it… it felt wrong…
Urbosa: HUH
Daruk: Anyway, who wants to go next? Urbosa?
Urbosa: Sure. 1. I once let a voe sneak into gerudo town, 2. I have a pet sand seal, 3. I was friends with Zelda’s mother
Revali: the first one, there’s no way
Daruk: first one for sure
Link: 2️⃣
Mipha: the sand seal, for some reason, I feel is incorrect
Urbosa: Link and Mipha are correct! Though Link certainly had an unfair advantage on this one, after all, he’s the voe that I let into gerudo town…
Mipha: Yes, Link once told me about that…
Revali: WHAAAAATTTTT
Daruk: NO WAY
Urbosa: Anyway, who’s going next?
Link: 1️⃣. 🍖😋, 2️⃣. 🐴✖️2️⃣0️⃣⚔️☠️, 3️⃣. 🧗😨!
Revali: oh goody, pictionary again /s
Urbosa: Mipha, honey, could you please translate for us?
Mipha: The first option says he loves meat, the second option says he’s killed twenty lynels, and the third option says he’s afraid of climbing.
Revali: the lie is definitely the second option, there’s no way
Daruk: it’s definitely the third option, one time he beat me scaling gut check rock!
Urbosa: yeah, the third one, probably
Mipha: Yeah, probably… which one was the lie, Link?
Link: 3️⃣
Daruk: knew it!
Urbosa: thought so
Revali: whAT
Daruk: Revali, your turn now!
Revali: ugh, do I have to?
Urbosa: just do it
Mipha: It’ll be quick!
Revali. Fine… 1. I killed five guardians from a hundred meters away, 2. I hit all targets in flight range in under ten seconds, and 3. I respect Link.
Daruk: this isn’t even hard, three
Urbosa: three
Mipha: three, sadly
Revali: you’re all correct, here’s your trophy, I’m going now
(Revali left the chat)
Daruk: welp, good game, guys! bye!
(Daruk left the chat)
Urbosa: seeya!
(Urbosa left the chat)
Mipha: I have to go, Link.
Link: 👋
(Mipha left the chat)
(Link ended the chat)
Notes:
Next time, koroks raid the chat... WAIT WHAT!?
Chapter 8: Koroks raid the chat
Chapter Text
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Mipha, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Daruk: I think I’m getting the hang of piloting Rudania! What about you guys?
Urbosa: it’s hard but I’m managing
Revali: no clue about this flying rooster
Link: 🫵🪽🐓
Revali: What are YOU trying to say, eh?
Mipha: Um, Revali… he’s saying YOU’RE a flying rooster.
Link: 👍
Revali: WHAT!? YOU F***ING FAILURE OF A CHAMPION YOU–
Daruk: BUT ANYWAY… Mipha, what about you?
Mipha: I don’t need controls, Ruta responds to my voice!
Link: 👏
Daruk: IMPRESSIVE!
Urbosa: You GO girl!
Mipha: ^-^
Revali: HMPH
(1 korok joined the chat)
Korok: Yahaha!
Link: 😨
Mipha: Link, are you alright…?
(2 koroks joined the chat)
All 3 koroks: Yahaha!
Urbosa: What in the hylia are those things!?
(4 koroks joined the chat)
All 7 koroks: Yahaha!
Daruk: …what the…
(8 koroks joined the chat)
All 15 koroks: Yahaha!
Revali: OH MY F***ING HYLIA WHAT ARE THESE THINGS
(16 koroks joined the chat)
All 31 koroks: Yahaha!
(Daruk was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: Oh no… the chat is glitching…
(32 koroks joined the chat)
All 63 koroks: Yahaha!
(Urbosa was disconnected from the chat)
(64 koroks joined the chat)
All 127 koroks: Yahaha!
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
(128 koroks joined the chat)
All 255 koroks: Yahaha!
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
(256 koroks joined the chat)
All 511 koroks: Yahaha!
(Mipha was disconnected from the chat)
(489 koroks joined the chat)
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA!
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA!
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA!
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA!
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA!
(Purah and Robbie joined the chat)
Purah: oh my…
Robbie: …what happened?
All 1000 koroks: YAHAHA! YOU FOUND US!
(Purah and Robbie were disconnected from the chat)
Chapter 9: Aftermath of the raid
Notes:
Everyone joined a new chat!
Chapter Text
(Purah and Robbie are back online)
Purah: I’m sorry about the whole raid thing last time…
Robbie: The thing is, Purah thought it would be a good idea to give all the hidden and travelling koroks sheikah slates…
Purah: come on, I didn’t want to exclude anyone!
Robbie: But anyway, they’ve been confiscated again, and it won’t be happening again.
Purah: Buuuuut, just in case another raid is attempted, we’ve added a feature that should be helpful!
Robbie: You can now ban and kick people from the chat! If you kick them, they can rejoin, but if you ban them, they can’t until they are unbanned! You champions cannot kick or ban each other, but you can all kick or ban anyone else!
Purah: Give me a good CLICK SNAP!
Mipha: I wonder exactly how this will affect our chats going forward…
Revali: it sucks we can’t kick or ban each other
Urbosa: yeah, or else I would definitely kick or ban you
Revali: WHY YOU–
Daruk: then we can kick or ban Ganon?
Purah: Correct! However, I’d encourage you to only use it in case of an emergency! Everyone’s supposed to be able to interact on here, after all!
Mipha: I see… interesting.
Link: 🤔
Daruk: Well, this’ll be great in order to keep the chat safe…
Purah: It will!
Robbie: But anyway, Robbie and Purah out!
(Robbie and Purah left the chat)
(Zelda joined the chat)
Zelda: In any case, Christmas is coming up. What would you all like? I don’t know what to give you…
Revali: You don’t know? Hah! I already know what I’m getting for everyone!
Urbosa: as if you’d give us gifts…
Revali: Urbosa, you’re getting a pair of flats because why the Hylia not, Daruk’s getting a book on how to overthrow hyrule’s royal family, Zelda’s going to get more failure, Link’s getting an arrow in the head because that’s exactly what he deserves, and finally, Mipha’s getting a sapphire to cope with hot temperatures!
Link: 🧍🏹🐦 🎄🎁
Mipha: he’s saying… “I’ll shoot you an arrow for your Christmas gift”
Revali: I’d love to see you try!
Link: 🙄
Revali: hey, don’t you give me that!!!!!
Zelda: But anyway, we’re hosting a huge christmas party at the castle! I hope you’ll all come!
(Master Kohga and Sooga joined the chat)
Master Kohga: Will there be bananas?
Zelda: uh… sure, we can bring bananas!
Master Kohga: SOOGA, WE’RE GOING!
Sooga: Understood.
Master Kohga: Goodbye… until then.
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Daruk: Wait, speaking of Christmas… weren’t us champions going to do a secret santa?
Mipha: Oh, right, I remember talking about this game…
Daruk: One of us has to do random draws, and therefore not participate–
Revali: I call random draws and not participating
Urbosa: c’mon Ravioli, you should participate!
Revali: already getting gifts for everyone, not interested, and DON’T CALL ME THAT
(Revali has gone offline)
Daruk: okay then
Urbosa: boo
Mipha: But how is he going to tell us all our results without anyone else knowing?
Link: 📧?
Mipha: ah, yes, probably
Daruk: what’s the e-envelope
Mipha: email
(Revali is back online)
Revali: I sent everyone the results over email, my work is done, goodbye
(Revali left the chat)
Daruk: everyone’s secret santas will be revealed on Christmas! it’s time to prepare!
Chapter 10: Christmas
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(The 24 main characters joined the chat)
Daruk: Merry Christmas everyone!
Zelda: I hope you enjoy the party!
Mipha: Merry Christmas!
Sidon: Merry Christmas indeed!
Urbosa: Merry Christmas everybody!
Astor: what is a “christmas”
Urbosa: nvm
Yunobo: that is a huge tree…
Impa: indeed, it’s… quite flashy
Paya: I helped to decorate it
Tulin: I wish I could’ve helped!
Riju: yeah same!
Hestu: me too
Hestu: I prepared a special christmas dance just for this party!
Zelda: oh, really?
Revali: I’m out
Hestu: yes, and my gift for everyone who watches is one free storage space!
Revali: …hmm, maybe I’ll watch
(Hestu has gone offline)
(Hestu is back online)
Hestu: There! Anyway, got to go now!
Master Kohga: where are the bananas?
Zelda: *sighs* over there…
Master Kohga: Come, Sooga!
Sooga: Always.
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Zelda: they took all the bananas again, and left with them…
Urbosa: what did you expect?
Hestu: well, at least they were here for my dance!
Monk Maz Koshia: Link, I’ve something to give you.
Link: 👀
(Monk Maz Koshia has gone offline)
Link: O.O
(Monk Maz Koshia is back online)
Link: 🏍️! 🏍️! 🏍️! 🏍️! 🏍️!
Monk Maz Koshia: do you like it?
Link: 👍👍👍♥️♥️♥️
Monk Maz Koshia: Good, now, I shall be taking my leave.
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
Mipha: Wow, Link… you have your own divine beast now!
Revali: pfft, it’s tiny compared to mine, just like he’s tiny compared to me
Link: 🖕
Revali: CRY ABOUT IT
Mipha: Revali, don’t be mean to Link
Revali: …fine, anyway, it’s about time that I give out the gifts I mentioned
Urbosa: omg you actually got me flats
Revali: told you!
Urbosa: OW OH MY HYLIA THEY HAVE SPIKES ON THEM
Revali: HAHAHA REVENGE IS SWEET
Daruk: a book that says “how to overthrow hyrule’s royal family” on the cover
King Rhoam: I wouldn’t recommend that
(Revali kicked King Rhoam from the chat)
Zelda: REVALI!
Impa: O.O
Revali: go ahead and do it, Daruk
(Zelda was disconnected from the chat)
Revali: HA! MORE FAILURE, AS PROMISED!
Urbosa: omg Revali’s going crazy
Revali: SHUTUP ANYWAY Mipha here’s your sapphire
Mipha: o– oh… thank you…
Revali: As for Link…
Link: !!!!!
Mipha: REVALI!
Revali: an arrow square in the head JUST AS YOU DESERVE!
Link: 😡🏹🐦☠️
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: Link… is he dead…?
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(Revali reconnected to the chat)
Revali: I’m perfectly alive– OW!
Mipha: that’s enough, I’m healing you both, no more fighting!
(Mipha has gone offline)
(Mipha is back online)
Mipha: THERE NOW BE CIVIL.
Revali: yes ma’am
Link: 😨
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: oh shoot, we forgot to charge him before this party… I’ll take him to go get charged
(Impa left the chat)
Paya: wait for me!
(Paya left the chat)
Purah: But anyway, let’s talk presents!
Robbie: I’ve sorted them already!
Purah: Already? Awesome! Let’s open them!
*a few moments later*
Mipha: Luminous stone jewelry…?
Sidon: I’ve got matching jewelry! Thank you, father!
King Dorephan: of course, I must leave now, though
Mipha: Goodbye, father!
(King Dorephan left the chat)
Link: ♥️🐟🎁
Mipha: Oh right, the present from you, Link! Let’s see… I got… wait… is this… luminous stone? A carving made from luminous stone, of me?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Thank you, Link… as for you, I forged a special sword for you to use, with high durability so that you don’t break it as fast.
Link: 👀🙏♥️🫂
Mipha: awwwww… of course!
Tulin: A new bow? Thanks Dad!
Teba: no problem, we have to go home though
Tulin: oh okay
(Teba and Tulin left the chat)
Daruk: premium rock roast? thanks, Yunobo! I even got the exact same thing for you!
Yunobo: w– whoa!
Astor: for all of you, I have a prophecy… Calamity Ganon will soon–
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Yunobo: I have to go now…
Daruk: see ya!
(Yunobo left the chat)
Urbosa: a new hairpin? well, thank you, Riju
Riju: of course! and thanks for the new saddle! I got to go, though
(Riju left the chat)
Hestu: new maracas!? who gave me these!?
Sidon: I did, after your complaints about the koroks stealing them!
Hestu: awesome, thanks! I’m gonna go show them off!
(Hestu left the chat)
Sidon: It was wonderful to be here, but I must leave to attend to duties I have!
(Sidon left the chat)
Purah: I think it’s time to unveil the champion’s secret santa game!
Robbie: Yes, so, first, reveal who you were the secret santa of! And then you can open your presents!
Purah: And have fun!
Mipha: I was the secret santa of Link!
Daruk: I was the secret santa of Urbosa!
Link: 😶🧑🎄🪨
Urbosa: I was the secret santa of Mipha!
Purah: Great, now, open your presents!
Robbie: And have fun!
(Purah and Robbie left the chat)
Daruk: More premium rock roast!? Little guy, thanks so much! You’re getting a premium goron hug!
Link: 😱
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: DARUK
(Link reconnected to the chat)
Link: 😓
Urbosa: gemstones? awesome!
Daruk: yep, straight from Death Mountain!
Link: 🍣?
Mipha: You mentioned loving sushi, and so I made some for you… is it good?
Link: 👍😋
Mipha: I’m glad to hear it… Urbosa, wow… you got me jewelry too?
Urbosa: a circlet made in the gerudo desert, crafted to give you complete shock resistance
Mipha: I don’t ever need to worry about shock arrows now…?
Urbosa: not that, or being shocked again, ever!
Mipha: wow… thank you
Urbosa: it’s the least you deserve for christmas
Daruk: wait, are… the only ones on this chat the champions now?
Urbosa: pretty sure
Link: 6️⃣?
Mipha: Link’s right… there are six people on this chat…
Revali: but who’s the sixth?
Ganon: I AM STILL HERE.
Daruk: AAAAAHHHHH NOOOOO–
(everyone was disconnected from the chat)
Notes:
Maybe banning Ganon from the chat would be useful...
Anyway, next chapter, Revali is nice to everyone... wait, what!?
Chapter 11: Revali's change
Chapter Text
(Urbosa started a chat)
(Urbosa added Mipha, Daruk, and Link to the chat)
Daruk: What’s up?
Urbosa: guys help
Mipha: What’s wrong?
Urbosa: Revali… he’s acting weird…
Daruk: How so?
Urbosa: he’s being all… NICE
Link: ???
(Revali joined the chat)
Revali: Hello, dear friends! How can I help you today?
Urbosa: dear Hylia who are you and where is Revali
Revali: I AM Revali, and I’m here to take part in a fun activity with you all!
Link: 😱
Mipha: …
Daruk: oh my flying hylia
Revali: I’ve discovered a new dessert dish! A special kind of cake! It’s said to even cause personality changes! Would you like to make it with me?
Mipha: …
Link: …
Daruk: …
Urbosa: I’m scared but intrigued, let’s do it
Revali: Alright! Urbosa, please preheat the oven to 150 degrees!
Urbosa: uh… okay. wait, did you say PLEASE?
Revali: yes, please!
Urbosa: oh my actual hylia
Revali: Mipha here’s an ingredients list, please prep them!
Mipha: …you’re sure this isn’t the ingredients list for an elixir, Revali?
Revali: I’m sure! Please do it! After she’s finished, Daruk, please mix them together using the mixing bowl!
Daruk: sure, though it smells weird…
Revali: alright, the oven’s hot, the ingredients prepped and mixed, and it’s time to put it all in the oven! Link, my boy, would you do the honors?
Link: …?
Revali: oh, come on, you know I wouldn’t leave out my favorite champion!
Daruk: WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE
Urbosa: DEAREST HYLIA
Mipha: …well at least he’s being nice… but yes…
Revali: Great, it’s in the oven! Now let me go sing a song while we wait!
(Revali has gone offline)
Daruk: phew, he’s gone…
Urbosa: will he ever be the same again?
Mipha: This recipe book talks about the cake and permanent personality changes… it explains everything we’ve observed in him…
Urbosa: is there any way to reverse it!?
Mipha: There is a drink we can make, with household ingredients, that will counteract the effects of the cake. We don’t have much time before he comes back, though.
Urbosa: let’s make it quickly!
(Revali is back online)
Revali: I am back, dear friends! It’s time to eat the cake!
Mipha: Actually, Revali, we have the perfect drink to pair with the cake!
Revali: Oh, really? Let me try it!
Mipha: Alright, here’s a glass!
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
(Revali reconnected to the chat)
Revali: *cough* *cough* Mipha, what’d you give me!?
Mipha: How do you feel, Revali?
Revali: Asinine, why are you all in my house!?
Daruk: HE’S BACK
Urbosa: HE’S SO BACK
Mipha: you wanted to bake a cake with us all
Revali: why in hylia’s name would I want that?
Urbosa: read up, Ravioli
Revali: …
Revali: w– wait…
Revali: WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO ME AND WHY–
Daruk: okay, wait, calm down
Revali: LAST I REMEMBER I WAS HERE EATING CAKE ALONE BY THE WAY I’M GONNA KILL WHOEVER GAVE ME THIS CAKE–
(Tulin joined the chat)
Tulin: hey guys! what’s up?
Daruk: it’s not a good time to chat, little buddy
Mipha: Tulin, what are you doing here…?
Tulin: I just wanted to see how Master Revali’s doing after giving him that personality cake! Did it work?
Mipha: …
Revali: it was YOU!?!?!?!?!?
Urbosa: why did you do that!?
Tulin: my Dad’s always talking about how he never expected the Rito champion to be rude and wished he was nicer, and so I tried making and giving him this cake from a rare recipe I once learned about
Daruk: holy crap
Tulin: So, did it work?
Mipha: It did, but… we reversed it, of course! You can’t go around changing people’s personalities!
Tulin: I’m sorry guys… I wanted him to be nice, is all…
Urbosa: we all do, honey, but Revali is Revali, and we prefer for him to be his own authentic self than for someone to change him artificially
Tulin: oh that makes sense
Revali: Lesson of the day, never accept food from Tulin. Or anyone. I’m going to be super paranoid after this.
Daruk: and maybe be nicer to people?
Revali: no
Daruk: I should not have been so optimistic
Revali: you should not have indeed… but anyway, I’m exhausted… I’m out
(Revali left the chat)
Tulin: my Dad’s calling me… I have to go too
(Tulin left the chat)
Daruk: it’s just about dinnertime, I’ll be going too, but no dessert… I’ve had enough of cake for a lifetime
(Daruk left the chat)
Urbosa: oh, yeah, I should go too, goodbye
(Urbosa left the chat)
Mipha: goodbye, Link :)
Link: 🙂👋
(Mipha left the chat)
(Link ended the chat)
Chapter 12: Festival in Zora's Domain
Chapter Text
Daruk: @Mipha @Link @Revali @Urbosa what are my fellow champions up to?
Urbosa: nothing, really
Revali: hmph, well, unlike you, I’m practicing honing my archery skills
Urbosa: oh please, it’s alright to rest every once in a while
Mipha: Link and I are enjoying the coronation festival in Zora’s Domain!
Revali: the what?
Mipha: Coronation festival! It’s a festival held every year in Zora’s Domain to celebrate my father’s amazing leadership!
Daruk: wow, that’s awesome! And the little guy is there too?
Mipha: Yes! He always goes ^-^
Link: 👍
(Zelda joined the chat)
Zelda: Link, where are you?
Link: ⬆️
Zelda: I see… well, anyway, we need you to come to Hyrule Castle now
Link: !?
Mipha: …what?
Zelda: An urgent mission! You need to come with me and a few other soldiers on a monster research trip by Lake Hylia!
Link: 🥺
Zelda: what
Mipha: He would like to know why, and if he truly needs to go.
Zelda: Yes, he must accompany us.
Link: 🥺🙅
Zelda: …Link, are you refusing an order?
Mipha: He’s saying “please no”, because… the coronation festival is important to both of us… and no one mentioned he’d have to do this today–
Zelda: oh, stay out of this, royal duties take precedence! I’m sure Link can understand that!
Link: 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙄😡🫅♀️!!!!!
Mipha: he’s saying… “EXCUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!!!!!”
Zelda: What!?
Link: 💢🙅😡
Mipha: and something along the lines of… “ABSOLUTELY NOT”, yelled angrily
Daruk: this poprock tastes delicious!
Revali: poprock?
Daruk: yeah, like for movies and stuff!
Link: 🍿?
Daruk: same concept, little guy!
Zelda: Link, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking to…
Link: 🖕🫵🫅♀️
Mipha: he’s saying… um… “screw you princess”
Zelda: LINK, THIS IS AN ORDER!
(Link banned Zelda from the chat)
Mipha: …
Daruk: yikes…
Link: 🙂
Revali: dang, didn’t know he actually had that in him, I almost like him a bit now (ALMOST)
Urbosa: ooh, you LIKE him? 😏
Revali: …
Revali: absolutely not, and f*** you Urbosa
Urbosa: hehe
Mipha: Link, you didn’t have to…
Link: 🐟🥇♾️
Mipha: awwwww
Revali: ugh, get a room, you two
Urbosa: you’re jealous, aren’t you?
Revali: am not! I could NEVER be jealous of Link!
Urbosa: never said it was Link you were jealous of…
Revali: I– you–
Daruk: LMAO
Revali: I’M NOT JEALOUS OF EITHER OF THEM
Urbosa: yeah right
Mipha: But anyway, if any of you would like to join us at Zora’s Domain, you’re welcome to!
Daruk: I think Revali wants to
Revali: oh shut UP you rocky freak
Daruk: you have insulted all gorons, you flying chicken
Revali: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?
Urbosa: I’ll head over to Zora’s Domain, sounds like fun
Daruk: I think I will too! And Revali’s coming!
Revali: I’m not
Mipha: Revali, Hestu will be giving out free inventory slots again.
Revali: …ugh, fine, wouldn’t hurt to stop by
Mipha: Wonderful ^-^
*a while later*
Revali: I got another slot for bows, I’m leaving now
Urbosa: c’mon, stay a while, the domain is beautiful after all
Link: 👍
Daruk: The architecture truly is intricate and breathtaking… Goron City is basically a pile of rocks stacked on top of each other!
Mipha: Yes, and it wouldn’t be possible without the Zora who ensure it’s kept in perfect shape all the time!
Daruk: whoa…
(Sidon joined the chat)
Sidon: Sister, you brought the other champions? Wonderful!
Mipha: I did invite them!
Sidon: Father will want to meet with them, but first, everyone, have you seen the wonderful statue of Mipha in the main square?
Mipha: Um… Sidon…
Urbosa: We haven’t! Could we?
Sidon: Of course, just follow me!
*a few moments later*
Daruk: It’s… amazing!
Urbosa: truly breathtaking, though not nearly as beautiful as the true person
Daruk: bet that’s what Revali’s thinking
Revali: STFU
Mipha: s– stop… it’s too much…
Sidon: Sister, you are beautiful! Embrace it!
Mipha: …
Revali: I heard there’s chicken, where is it?
Mipha: Oh, um… the dining hall, Revali…
Revali: thank you
(King Dorephan joined the chat)
King Dorephan: Welcome, champions.
Link: 👍
Revali: The chicken is actually pretty good.
Urbosa: cannibalism go brr
Revali: one more word and I WILL behead you
Urbosa: I’d love to see you try, Ravioli
Revali: Let’s go, asinine deep fried camel
King Dorephan: Not in my domain, please. Go somewhere else.
(Revali and Urbosa left the chat)
Mipha: Um… thanks for coming?
Daruk: I’m gonna go ensure they don’t kill each other! Bye guys!
(Daruk left the chat)
Mipha: Link, Sidon, Father, it’s only us now… let’s get off the sheikah slates and enjoy the festival!
Link: 👍
Sidon: Yes!
King Dorephan: Of course!
Mipha: Great ^-^
(Mipha ended the chat)
Chapter 13: Rapid confession
Chapter Text
(UWU created a chat)
(UWU added the 24 main characters to the chat)
UWU: Welcome, welcome!
Impa: where are we?
UWU: the confession booth! I have brought you all here today to play a little game!
Revali: wtf is up with your name
UWU: I am UWU
Mipha: What is the game?
UWU: it is called rapid confession! how it works is that all of the players are placed in the booth and the booth is sealed! the characters must confess their love to the character that they love, and only then will they be able to leave! they can spend as much time in there as they like trying to sort their feelings out, but the only path out is by being straightforward and honest about the way they feel!
Revali: what if I don’t like anyone?
UWU: then you say that you don’t like anyone! however, if that is not true, or if you lie about who it is that you like, you will immediately die of a heart attack! sound fun?
Impa: NO! THAT DOESN’T SOUND FUN!
UWU: excellent! the game starts now!
Revali: what the hell do we do!?
Monk Maz Koshia: I suppose we have to confess, but I don’t like anyone.
UWU: correct answer! you get to leave!
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
King Dorephan: I love my wife
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(King Dorephan left the chat)
Teba: I love my wife Saki
UWU: correct answer! you get to leave!
(Teba left the chat)
Tulin: I don’t love anyone currently!
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Tulin left the chat)
Terrako: 🙅🧍
UWU: you may leave!
(Terrako left the chat)
Zelda: I’m in love with Link…
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Zelda left the chat)
Impa: I don’t currently love anyone, also, Paya, just say it
Paya: I love Link…
UWU: you are both correct! you get to leave!
(Impa and Paya left the chat)
Daruk: damn, Link be collecting ladies like pokemon
Link: ???
Mipha: …
Urbosa: he’s just teasing, we all know Link only has eyes for Mipha
Link: 👍
Mipha: Good…
Link: ♥️🐟♾️
Mipha: I love you too, Link :)
UWU: you are both correct! you get to leave!
(Link and Mipha left the chat)
Robbie: I love SCIENCE! (not anyone)
Purah: Me too! (also not anyone)
UWU: you are both correct! you get to leave!
(Robbie and Purah left the chat)
Hestu: I love MUSIC! (not anyone)
UWU: you are correct! you may leave!
(Hestu left the chat)
Sidon: I love my family! But not anyone romantically!
UWU: you are correct! you may leave!
(Sidon left the chat)
Yunobo: me too!
UWU: you are correct! you may leave!
(Yunobo left the chat)
Master Kohga: I love MIGHT BANANAS! (but not anyone)
UWU: correct! you get to leave!
(Master Kohga left the chat)
Sooga: My devotion is to Master Kohga, completely, with no time for any romance of any sort
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Sooga left the chat)
Astor: I LOVE CALAMITY GANON!
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Astor left the chat)
Ganon: I LOVE NO ONE. I HATE EVERYONE.
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Ganon left the chat)
Riju: I don’t love anyone in a romantic way!
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
UWU: incorrect!
King Rhoam: I love my late wife, Zelda’s mother
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(King Rhoam left the chat)
Urbosa: I also love Zelda’s mother
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Urbosa left the chat)
Daruk: damn, and we didn’t know her name, even… anyway, I don’t love anyone romantically
UWU: correct! you may leave!
(Daruk left the chat)
Revali: …
UWU: only one person remains! what is your answer?
Revali: I… don’t… love… anyone
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
UWU: incorrect!
UWU: that is everyone! what a fun game! I hope everyone enjoyed playing rapid confession as much as I did! see you next time!
(UWU ended the chat)
Chapter 14: Aftermath of rapid confession
Chapter Text
Daruk: @Mipha @Link @Revali @Urbosa after that terrifying game, are you all okay?
Link: 👍
Mipha: currently healing Revali, who actually died briefly because of a heart attack
Daruk: the heart attacks were real…
Urbosa: honestly let him die, he chose his own pride over his life
Mipha: What happened…?
Urbosa: actually nvm just do what you’re doing
Mipha: Okay…
*a few moments later*
Revali: I am BACK, thanks for healing me Mipha
Mipha: No problem :)
Revali: that UWU person and the rapid confession game was so outlandish it wasn’t even funny
Urbosa: for once I agree with Revali
Daruk: thankfully almost everyone managed to escape unscathed, barring Revali and Riju
Revali: I feel like I just died
Urbosa: you did
Daruk: one premium goron hug coming up!
Revali: GET AWAY FROM ME I DON’T WANT TO DIE
Daruk: oh ok
Urbosa: guys can we have a serious conversation for once
Daruk: alright sure, what do you do when life gives you apples
Link: 😋🍽️🍏🍎
Mipha: Link says he’d eat the apples… I’d probably freeze them and eat them later.
Revali: if life is here I am giving life a piece of my damn mind
Daruk: I’d personally make apple pie
Urbosa: me too I guess
Link: 1️⃣0️⃣✖️🪑➕2️⃣0️⃣🧍🔜❔🫵🤔?
Revali: MIPHA WHAT’S HE SAYING
Mipha: Well, he wants to know what you would do if there were ten chairs and twenty people.
Revali: the most important half can sit down
Urbosa: have a contest or play a game
Daruk: just have everyone stand!
Mipha: I would just bring more chairs… or everyone could sit on the floor.
Link: 👍
Daruk: Anyway, could I end the chat now?
Link: 👍
(Daruk ended the chat)
Chapter 15: Elimination game
Chapter Text
(CharactersChatBot started a chat)
(CharactersChatBot added Link, Daruk, Mipha, Revali, and Urbosa to the chat)
CharactersChatBot: Let’s do an elimination game!
Daruk: what’s an elimination game?
CharactersChatBot: Where you can vote each other off the chat using the process of elimination! Last person standing wins! I won’t play though, since I’m not a person. Instead I’ll be the person that counts the votes. Would you like to play?
Urbosa: sure, sounds fun
Daruk: hell yeah!
CharactersChatBot: Okay, throw in your votes for the first round!
Revali: Link
Mipha: Revali
Daruk: Revali
Urbosa: Revali
Link: 🐦
CharactersChatBot: Revali has been eliminated!
(Revali was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Urbosa, I don’t have anything against you, but I just don’t know you as well as Daruk and Link…
Daruk: yeah same
Urbosa: It’s alright! I’m going with you, though, Daruk
Link: 🐒
CharactersChatBot: Daruk and Urbosa are tied, so they are both eliminated!
(Daruk and Urbosa were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: I can’t vote Link
Link: 😔
CharactersChatBot: Alright, if you’re sure, you both win! Link and Mipha are the winners of the elimination game!
(Revali, Daruk, and Urbosa were unmuted)
Daruk: whoa, great job guys!
Revali: …why am I not even mildly surprised
CharactersChatBot: But anyway, I’m going to end the chat now, since the elimination game is over.
Mipha: Are we going to play more games like this in the future?
Revali: hopefully not
Urbosa: don’t be a sore loser, Ravioli
Revali: DON’T CALL ME THAT
Urbosa: make me
Revali: I will bomb gerudo town
Urbosa: I’ll electrocute ur a**
(Revali and Urbosa were disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: Well… um… are we going to?
CharactersChatBot: possibly
(CharactersChatBot ended the chat)
Chapter 16: Monsters and villagers
Chapter Text
(Purah started a chat)
(Purah added Link, Robbie, Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, Yunobo, Sidon, Tulin, Teba, Hestu, Riju, Paya, Master Kohga, and Sooga to the chat)
Purah: Robbie and I have a game for today!
Robbie: Indeed, we’ll be playing an old game from Kakariko Village called monsters and villagers!
Mipha: Monsters and villagers?
Purah: It’s a game where most of everyone is villagers, but some people are monsters in disguise! Every night, the monsters agree on one person to kill! Then there’s a medic, who can pick a person to save! The next morning, everyone votes to try and figure out who the monsters are, and they can choose one person to banish, who reveals their role!
Robbie: And it’s up to me and Purah to tell the stories of how people die, all in not-so graphic detail!
Purah: Are you guys ready to play!? I’ve already done random draws to figure out who will be the medic and who will be the three monsters! I’m just waiting to press send on the emails which are going to notify you!
Link: 👍
Purah: Great! I sent the emails! If you get no email, it means you’re a villager!
Robbie: Now then… it’s that time, for the first night to begin!
Purah: We’ll use a new feature– private chats– to facilitate medic and monster decisions!
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa, Tulin, and Hestu to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, monsters! Who will you kill tonight?
Hestu: Kill? I don’t want to kill anyone!
Impa: It’s just a game…
Tulin: can we kill Riju
Impa: why specifically her?
Tulin: I don’t like her
Hestu: is this about her beating you in lightning shooters earl–
Tulin: NO BUT LET’S KILL HER ALREADY
Hestu: jeez fine
Impa: …okay I guess…
Purah: Riju? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Sidon to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, medic! Who will you save tonight?
Sidon: My sister, of course!
Purah: Mipha? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village, a child at that…
Robbie: I was in bed last night when I heard weird noises coming from Urbosa’s home…
Urbosa: My home? O.O
Robbie: …I went to investigate, and Urbosa was perfectly fine, but outside in the forest… guts spilled everywhere, blood staining the ground, and torn up shreds of familiar red gerudo hair could be seen… Riju’s headpiece lay on the ground… she had been murdered.
Riju: NOOOOOOOOOO–
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
Daruk: Why do I feel like Urbosa is a monster now…
Urbosa: I’m not, I swear…!
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Urbosa: my money’s on Revali
Revali: Oh PLEASE, why would I go after Riju? Link is who I’d target first!
Daruk: you wouldn’t, because that would be too obvious
Revali: You’re seriously all ganging up on ME!? I’m not any more likely than any of you to be a monster!
Mipha: He’s right… any one of us could’ve been selected.
Daruk: Mipha, are you a monster?
Mipha: W– what!? No!
Link: 🥦
Mipha: You think Hestu’s a monster…?
Urbosa: Why Hestu?
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Daruk: hmm
Master Kohga: I find him suspicious too, only a monster could possibly hate bananas
Sooga: impeccable reasoning, Master Kohga
Hestu: I– I just shake my maracas! I’m completely innocent!
Master Kohga: BUT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT A MONSTER WOULD TELL US
Sooga: EXACTLY, YOU TELL HIM, MASTER KOHGA
Purah: Your pick is Hestu, then?
Master Kohga: YES
Sooga: YES
Link: 👍
Purah: Hestu, you are banished! Now, reveal your role! What were you?
Hestu: …I was a monster
Master Kohga: HA! I KNEW IT!
Sooga: YOU TRULY ARE ABOVE US ALL, MASTER KOHGA!
Robbie: Onto the next night!
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa and Tulin to the chat)
Purah: Hello, monsters! Who will you kill tonight?
Tulin: Let’s go for Zelda!
Impa: What!? Why!?
Tulin: I’m in my rebellious phase! And at least this way they won’t ever suspect you! You’re her loyal advisor!
Impa: …I guess
Purah: Zelda? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Sidon to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, medic! Who will you save tonight?
Sidon: My sister, again!
Purah: Mipha? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village… and none other than the one remainder of the hylian royal family!
Zelda: uh oh
Robbie: It’s true, she was used as a feast for monsters. They skinned her, gutted her, bled her, cut her meat up paper thin, and cooked it all for their sick meal.
Zelda: 😭
(Zelda was disconnected from the chat)
Urbosa: Okay now I feel like it’s Master Kohga and/or Sooga…
Master Kohga: Wha– of course not! We helped to expose a monster just last round!
Urbosa: oh, true, you have a good point
Revali: who are they, then?
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Daruk: who has something against both Riju and Zelda…
Urbosa: Revali has something against everyone
Revali: HEY!
Urbosa: oh, yeah, he said Riju was annoying, and consistently insults Zelda behind her back
Revali: I DO NOT AND AGAIN I WOULD’VE KILLED LINK FIRST THING
Daruk: I don’t know buddy, I think maybe you really are a monster
Revali: UGH, SCREW YOU! YOU’LL REGRET GETTING RID OF THIS RITO LEGEND!
Purah: Your pick is Revali, then?
Daruk: yes
Urbosa: yep
Mipha: maybe…
Purah: Revali, you are banished! Now, reveal your role! What were you?
Revali: I WAS A VILLAGER GODDAMNIT
Daruk: oh damn
Urbosa: was not expecting that
Revali: F*** ALL OF YOU
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Robbie: Onto the next night!
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa and Tulin to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, monsters! Who will you kill tonight?
Tulin: let’s do Urbosa this time
Impa: why…?
Tulin: I have a thing against authority figures! I want to kill all the royals!
Impa: …
Tulin: again, no one will suspect it’s you!
Impa: ugh, fine…
Purah: Urbosa? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Sidon to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, medic! Who will you save tonight?
Sidon: My sister!
Purah: Mipha? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village…
Robbie: I was in bed last night when I heard weird noises coming from Urbosa’s home…
Urbosa: My home again…
Robbie: …and this time it WAS Urbosa who’d been murdered.
Urbosa: oop
(Urbosa was disconnected from the chat)
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Daruk: who has something against both Zelda and the gerudo… it has to be the Yiga at this point, the only thing disproving that is the fact that they helped us expose a monster…
Master Kohga: Me and Sooga are innocent!
Sooga: Indeed!
Daruk: …but what if you only did that to fly under all our radars…?
Master Kohga: I SWEAR WE’RE INNOCENT!
Daruk: well, who else could it be!?
Sidon: It’s unclear, I believe!
Daruk: is it you, Sidon?
Sidon: No!
Teba: Wait, wait, Master Kohga helped us, but Sooga didn’t. He reinforced what Master Kohga said, without actually saying anything autonomously.
Daruk: you’re right… huh…
Mipha: You think it’s Sooga?
Teba: I get the feeling Master Kohga isn’t, but Sooga could be
Daruk: let’s try voting him out
Master Kohga: Sooga…?
Purah: Your pick is Sooga, then?
Daruk: yeah
Master Kohga: SOOGA!
Sooga: Master… I must go…
Purah: Sooga, you are banished! Now, reveal your role! What were you?
Sooga: A villager…
Daruk: oh shoot
Teba: hmm…
(Sooga was disconnected from the chat)
Master Kohga: SOOGA NOOOOO!!!!!
Robbie: Onto the next night!
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa and Tulin to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, monsters! Who will you kill tonight?
Tulin: my Dad!
Impa: your Dad!? Why!?
Tulin: I’m in a rebellious phase, again, I’m a rebellious teen!
Impa: YOU’RE LITERALLY 10 WTF
Tulin: I AM A REBELLIOUS TEEEEEN SCREW AUTHORITY FIGURES
Purah: Teba? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Sidon to the private chat)
Purah: Mipha again?
Sidon: Yes!
Purah: Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village… a father, at that.
Robbie: I was in bed last night when I heard weird noises coming from Teba’s home…
Teba: …
Robbie: Feathers strewn everywhere, blood all over the walls, a struggle had clearly taken place, and one thing was obvious– Teba was dead.
Teba: well shoot
(Teba was disconnected from the chat)
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Link: 🐤
Mipha: You think it’s Tulin?
Link: 💯
Mipha: I see…
Daruk: honestly I agree at this point
Mipha: Me too… he said something the other day about authority figures and hating them, and now his Dad is gone and he was completely silent. He’s STILL silent.
Sidon: I agree wholeheartedly, sister!
Yunobo: Oh and he said he’d “pay Riju back” after she beat him at lightning shooters earlier!
Sidon: That settles it, it must be Tulin!
Purah: Your pick is Tulin, then?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Yes.
Daruk: yeah
Sidon: Indeed!
Yunobo: y– yep!
Purah: Tulin has been eliminated! Now, reveal your role! What were you?
Tulin: you’ve caught me red-handed… I WAS A MONSTER! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(Tulin was disconnected from the chat)
Robbie: Onto the next night! One monster left, who could it be?
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, monster! Who will you kill tonight?
Impa: I’m still figuring it out… wish I knew who the medic was…
Purah: Pick someone!
Impa: …I’m going to go with Yunobo, since he isn’t participating that much
Purah: Yunobo? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
Purah: Mipha again?
Sidon: Yes!
Purah: Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village…
Robbie: I was in bed last night when I heard weird noises coming from Daruk’s home…
Daruk: oh boy
Robbie: …it turned out to be Daruk’s snoring.
Daruk: phew
Robbie: But then I noticed a trail of blood leading out the back door. In the forest, the corpse of Yunobo. He had been skinned, gutted, sliced, cooked, everything. He had been turned into the very rock roast he enjoys feasting on.
Yunobo: 😱
(Yunobo was disconnected from the chat)
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Master Kohga: Paya’s been awfully silent
Paya: M– me?
Impa: yeah, that’s true… I actually forgot she was here until now…
Paya: I’m just a villager…!
Master Kohga: hmm… suspicious
Daruk: I honestly agree
Mipha: She’s probably the only one timid enough to just let Tulin eliminate who he wants until he was banished, also…
Purah: Your pick is Paya, then?
Master Kohga: yes
Impa: yeah honestly
Daruk: probably
Purah: Paya has been eliminated! Now, reveal your role? What were you?
Paya: I was just a villager… as I mentioned…
Daruk: oh
Mipha: Oh no, Paya…
Paya: it’s ok I get it
(Paya was disconnected from the chat)
Robbie: Onto the next night!
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Impa to the private chat)
Purah: Hello, monster! Who will you kill tonight?
Impa: …I guess Master Kohga
Purah: Master Kohga? Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
(Purah started a private chat)
(Purah added Sidon to the private chat)
Purah: Mipha again?
Sidon: Of course!
Purah: Got it!
(Purah ended the private chat)
Purah: Someone has died tonight in Kakariko Village…
Robbie: Master Kohga had eaten many bananas that night, but they became his undoing when they turned out to be poisoned…
Master Kohga: WHAT!?
Robbie: Unfortunately, Master Kohga has died…
Master Kohga: WHYYYYY–
(Master Kohga was disconnected from the chat)
Daruk: It really wasn’t the Yiga…
Purah: Now discuss amongst yourselves who you’ll be banishing from the village under suspicion of being a monster!
Link: 👁️
Mipha: An eye for Sheikah… you think it’s Impa?
Link: 💯
Daruk: actually that makes sense
Sidon: I agree with my friends and sister!
Purah: Your pick is Impa, then?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Link’s never wrong, so yes.
Daruk: yeah I agree
Sidon: Indeed!
Purah: Impa has been eliminated! Now, reveal your role? What were you?
Impa: I was indeed the last monster
(Impa was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 😤
Daruk: phew, we made it… with only four villagers left
Sidon: I was the medic!
Mipha: But someone died each night… who were you saving?
Sidon: YOU, dear sister?
Mipha: Aw… thank you, Sidon.
Robbie: What an amazing game! And it’s about time to bring the others back!
(everyone reconnected to the chat)
Master Kohga: My sacrifice was not in vain!
Sooga: It could never be, Master Kohga!
Teba: Tulin… what in the hylia
Tulin: hehe
Riju: damn Tulin, I didn’t know you were actually that butthurt about my epic win in lightning shooters
Tulin: IM GONNA F***ING KILL YOU
(Tulin has gone offline)
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
Teba: …who taught Tulin that word? WHO the F*** TAUGHT TULIN THAT WORD
Revali: it sounds like you did
Urbosa: oh please, you’re not one to talk
Yunobo: this was a wild game…
Paya: y– yes… even though I was just watching for most of it…
Hestu: whoa, we almost won! …but not quite
Zelda: sweet hylia what happened
Impa: Purah, are we going to play this more often on the chat?
Purah: Probably! Who knows!?
Robbie: We’ll certainly be playing tons of fun games here!
Purah: But anyway, time to end the chat!
Robbie: Everyone, goodbye… for now!
(Purah ended the chat)
Chapter 17: April fools
Notes:
Did I post an April fools chapter in August? I did.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(Purah started a chat)
(Purah added Link, Robbie, Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, Yunobo, Sidon, Tulin, Teba, Hestu, Riju, Paya, Master Kohga, and Sooga to the chat)
Purah: happy April fools everybody!
Tulin: YESSSSS!!!!!
Revali: I hate April fools…
Tulin: I hid my Dad’s sheikah slate as a prank :D he won’t be on chat today
Riju: lmao diabolical
Urbosa: I hid all Riju’s plush sand seals
Riju: wait WHAT!? URBOSAAAAA!!!!!
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: I didn’t prank anyone…
Urbosa: of course you didn’t, precious cinnamon roll
Sidon: I didn’t either!
Paya: it’s April fools…?
Impa: unfortunately
(Paya left the chat)
Hestu: the koroks took all my maracas and the korok seeds too!!!!!
(Hestu left the chat)
Revali: honestly deserved
Purah: I rearranged everything in Zelda’s room
Zelda: wh– hey!
Master Kohga: I will kill whoever put all of these banana peels in my napping spot…
Sooga: I will kill them as well
Master Kohga: any idea who it might be?
Sooga: pretty sure Toga, Naga, and some other Yigas did it
Master Kohga: THEY’RE GETTING THROWN DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS
Sooga: I shall assist you in that
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Yunobo: I– I gave the mighty Daruk fake rock roast…
Daruk: DIE
Yunobo: AAAAA–
(Yunobo was disconnected from the chat)
Robbie: I put salt and pepper in everyone’s water bottles!
Purah: wait that was you O.O
Robbie: Yes!
(Robbie left the chat)
Purah: I’ll get you for this
(Purah left the chat)
Mipha: I’m so glad pranks are outlawed in Lanayru…
Zelda: they are?
Mipha: My grandfather passed a law against them back when he was king…
Impa: interesting
(Teba is back online)
Teba: hello everyone
Tulin: wait Dad you FOUND IT!?
Teba: of course I did… and you’re going to be punished for this, Tulin
Tulin: NOOOOO–
(Tulin was disconnected from the chat)
(Teba left the chat)
Link: 🪦
Mipha: …
Sidon: I hope everyone is alright after today!
Revali: pfft, I’ve got better things to do than pranks
Urbosa: Like what, getting people to feed your ego?
Revali: oh, har har
Zelda: wait– did someone–
(Zelda was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 😏
Mipha: Link, did you do something?
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Revali: WAIT WHAT JUST–
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 😏
Mipha: Link…
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: I have pulled a prank on the calamity…
Impa: what!?
Mipha: O.O
Daruk: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
(Ganon joined the chat)
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Ganon: YOU WILL ALL SUFFER.
Impa: is it me, or is Hyrule Castle moving…?
Sidon: I see it from a distance!
Daruk: oh damn
Urbosa: holy hylia
Mipha: …
Link: 😨
(everyone was disconnected from the chat)
Notes:
Next up, a Yiga focused chapter where Astor gets the nickname Ass-tor ;)
Chapter 18: The banana crisis
Notes:
Today marks exactly one month since I began posting this fic on AO3 :)
Chapter Text
(Master Kohga started a chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga, Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Master Kohga: Champions! Sooga, the other Yiga, and I need your help!
Sooga: We do! Please, you must help us!
Mipha: What do you need…?
Urbosa: ?
Link: ⁉️
Daruk: I’m eating, what’s happening?
Revali: why should I help you anyway
Master Kohga: IT’S HORRIBLE! Monsters have infiltrated and taken over the Yiga Clan Hideout!
Daruk: damn
Master Kohga: And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they took ALL OUR MIGHTY BANANAS! We’re homeless AND STARVING!
Urbosa: why not eat something other than mighty bananas?
Master Kohga: *gasps* we could NEVER! that would be of utmost disrespect to the Lord of Bananas!
Revali: the what
Sooga: Lord of Bananas. We Yiga worship him instead of Hylia. We thought Calamity Ganon was the Lord of Bananas, but it turns out he wasn’t. The true Lord of Bananas sometimes walks the earth alongside us, but can only be seen by members of the Yiga Clan, who adhere to our strict banana-only diet.
Revali: weird, that’s weird
Sooga: We Yiga will die off without help.
Master Kohga: Come on! You owe us for helping you take Ganon down!
Urbosa: okay, fine, we’ll help
Revali: hey, speak for yourself!
Urbosa: can it and help
Daruk: let’s teleport there
Mipha: Link and I are already teleporting!
Link: 👍
*a few moments later*
Revali: ugh… I’ll bomb the monsters at the entrance of the hideout… but then I’m going back home
Urbosa: fine, we’ll venture further in and do what we can
(Revali has gone offline)
(Revali is back online)
Revali: There!
(Revali left the chat)
Master Kohga: Let’s go!
Daruk: everyone, split up and capture the outposts!
Master Kohga: Sooga and I will go to my napping spot and destroy the monsters there!
Mipha: Link and I will go to the western outpost!
Daruk: I’ll head north!
Urbosa: and I’ll go east!
(everyone has gone offline)
(everyone is back online)
Mipha: the western outpost is captured!
Urbosa: the eastern outpost is captured!
Daruk: the northern outpost is captured!
Urbosa: Master Kohga, Sooga, how’s it going in the plaza?
Sooga: we found the person who’s still calling more monsters… it’s Astor.
Master Kohga: He’s destroyed the Mighty Banana Altar! NOOOOO!!!!!
Mipha: Oh no, we’re heading there!
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: I AM THE NEW LORD OF BANANAS!
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Urbosa: shutup Ass-tor
Sooga: good name for him
Master Kohga: We did it, Sooga! We took back the Yiga Clan Hideout!
Sooga: We did! Thank you, Champions, for your help.
Mipha: No problem ^-^
Urbosa: yeah, it was actually kinda fun to give Ass-tor and the monsters a whooping
Master Kohga: Finally, I can rest in peace!
Master Kohga: …
Master Kohga: that sounds terrible out of context
Urbosa: LMFAO
Master Kohga: Anyway I’m going to end the chat now!
Sooga: goodbye everyone
(Master Kohga ended the chat)
Chapter 19: Thanksgiving
Chapter Text
King Rhoam: Let the thanksgiving feast begin!
Link: 😋🍽️
Daruk: this rock roast needs more salt, could someone pass the salt?
Urbosa: sure! @Revali
(Revali is back online)
Revali: I’m trying to eat, what’s happening?
Urbosa: read up
Revali: …
Revali: f*** you
(Revali has gone offline)
Urbosa: LMFAO
Link: 🧂
Mipha: …
Zelda: Are you all enjoying your food? @Revali @Daruk @Mipha @Urbosa @Link
(Revali is back online)
Revali: the chicken is decent
Daruk: Yeah, this rock roast is great! It was a bit undersalted, but I found the salt shaker! It’s great now!
Mipha: The fish is good :)
Urbosa: cannibalism, all of you
Revali: WHAT >:(
Mipha: Zora are not fish, Goron are not rocks, and Rito are not chicken
Revali: EXACTLY
Urbosa: I know, it was a joke
Link: 🧍🥩😋⛔
Mipha: o– oh… oh dear…
Zelda: Mipha, what’s he saying?
Mipha: I don’t know if I should repeat it…
Zelda: please, tell me, it’s important
Mipha: I think he’s saying… he wants to try hylian meat… but isn’t allowed to…
Zelda: ……
Zelda: Link, never say that again.
Zelda: But anyway, what about everyone else? Enjoying the food?
Master Kohga: These mighty bananas are great, of course.
Sooga: Indeed.
Zelda: Father says it’s time to reflect on what we’re thankful for! I’m thankful for all of you, and your assistance in defeating the calamity!
King Rhoam: I am as well.
Impa: agreed
Terrako: 👍
Sidon: I am thankful for my family, friends, and home!
Purah: I’m thankful for my big awesome brain!
Robbie: I am thankful for mine as well!
Hestu: I’m thankful for music!
Link: 🙏♥️🐟
Mipha: Aww… I’m thankful for you too, Link!
Daruk: I’m thankful for rock roast and all of us!
Yunobo: me too!
Teba: I’m thankful for health
Urbosa: agreed
Revali: I’m thankful for… I guess my resourcefulness?
Tulin: I’m thankful for games and sweets!
Riju: yeah same!
Master Kohga: I’m thankful for Sooga, the other Yiga, and most importantly, for mighty bananas!
Sooga: I’m thankful for Master Kohga’s kindness toward me, and mighty bananas.
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: Calamity Ganon, I am thankful for–
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
(Ganon joined the chat)
Ganon: I AM THANKFUL FOR NO ONE AND NOTHING.
Revali: are you ever going to speak a sentence without all caps…?
Ganon: SILENCE, MORTAL.
Revali: you’re mortal too, we literally killed you 💀
Ganon: I WILL KILL YOU ALL.
Link: 🖕
(Ganon was disconnected from the chat)
Revali: first time I agree with Link on something
Link: 🤝
Mipha: I’m glad you two are getting along!
Zelda: anyway, Halloween is coming up! Hyrule Castle is hosting a Halloween party! And the royal hidden passage is being turned into a haunted tunnel!
Daruk: ooh, sign me up!
Mipha: We have our own festival happening at Zora’s Domain. I don’t think we’ll be able to attend. I hope you all enjoy yourselves, though!
Chapter 20: Halloween
Chapter Text
(The 24 main characters joined the chat)
Daruk: Happy halloween! What is everyone dressed up as? I’m a rock, personally!
Revali: Aren’t you already a rock?
Daruk: YOU HAVE INSULTED ALL GORONS
Urbosa: I’m dressed up as Vah Naboris
Impa: I didn’t dress up
Zelda: I’m dressed up as my father!!
Terrako: 🥚
King Rhoam: I’m not dressed up
Hestu: I’m not dressed up as anything, but the koroks here in korok forest have the BEST costumes!
Mipha: Link and I dressed up as each other ^-^
Riju: I’m dressed up as a sand seal! Patricia specifically!
Sidon: I dressed up as a cat!
King Dorephan: I’m not wearing a costume
Tulin: I’m dressed up as Master Revali! I’ve even got the condescending scoff down! Watch! HMPH!
Teba: Tulin…
Revali: HEY
Daruk: what are you dressed up as, Revali?
Revali: nothing, obviously, I’m at home in Rito Village with my doors locked to trick or treaters! HMPH!
Teba: …
Daruk: Y– Yunobo?
Yunobo: Huh? What is it?
Daruk: what… are you… dressed up as?
Yunobo: a dog, why?
Daruk: …
Yunobo: they’re my favorite animal…
Daruk: ……
Yunobo: oh no, is the costume that bad…?
Daruk: no, it’s… actually really realistic…
Yunobo: yay!!!! :D
Daruk: ha… yeah…
Zelda: I count eight people aside from my father and I at Hyrule Castle’s party… Daruk, Urbosa, Impa, Terrako, Tulin, Riju, and Yunobo. What is everyone else up to?
Mipha: Link, Sidon, my father, and I are all in Zora’s Domain!
Paya: I’m at home in Kakariko Village
Master Kohga: Sooga and I are in the Yiga Clan Hideout, hosting our own Halloween celebrations!
Sooga: Indeed, we are!
Hestu: Korok forests! The koroks want to know if you could send us some hylian treats!
Zelda: oh, sure
Revali: Rito Village, as I mentioned
Teba: I’m also in Rito Village, I came back here after dropping Tulin off at the Hyrule Castle party.
Monk Maz Koshia: I’m somewhere.
Revali: how specific /s
Paya: I’m going offline now to do chores…
(Paya has gone offline)
Teba: I have work as well
(Teba has gone offline)
Zelda: Where are Purah and Robbie?
Impa: they told me that they had something to take care of in Kakariko Village tonight
Zelda: I see, I hope all is well with them
Monk Maz Koshia: What is “Halloween”?
Tulin: u don’t know what halloween is?????
Monk Maz Koshia: No, or I wouldn’t be asking. What is it?
Revali: a day where people go to random strangers’ houses while dressed up in clothes and bang on their doors demanding candy
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
Daruk: when you put it like that…
Revali: I’m just telling the truth
(Revali has gone offline)
Tulin: Zelda, could I try the haunted tunnel!?
Zelda: oh, sure… no one’s gone there yet
Tulin: YAY, I’m the first one!
(Tulin has gone offline)
(Tulin is back online)
Tulin: …
Zelda: what’s wrong?
Tulin: if I’m the first one… why is there someone already down there?
Zelda: oh, there are plenty of soldiers dressed up for facilitating spooky ambience
Tulin: oh yeah btw the soldier corpses are all super realistic
Zelda: the what
Tulin: I meant the freaky prophecy guy in the robes who’s stealing their souls or smth
Zelda: WHAT
(Astor is back online)
Astor: I shall devour the souls of all those who pass through this tunnel…
Tulin: AAAAHHHH RUN AWAY
(Tulin has gone offline)
(Tulin is back online)
Tulin: I managed to escape, phew
Zelda: ……
Zelda: we have a problem, Father
King Rhoam: what’s happening
Zelda: Astor has taken residence in the haunted tunnel and killed all the soldiers down there
(King Rhoam left the chat)
Zelda: FATHER
Urbosa: I’ll lightning strike him into oblivion, just gimme a moment
(Urbosa has gone offline)
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
(Urbosa is back online)
Urbosa: there, should be safe for people now
Tulin: YAY
(Tulin has gone offline)
(Tulin is back online)
Tulin: Dad come pick me up im scared
Daruk: it’s not called the haunted tunnel for nothing!
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Zelda: maybe he just needs charging again…
(Zelda was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: PRINCESS!?
(Impa was disconnected from the chat)
Yunobo: w– wha– what’s happening!?
(Yunobo was disconnected from the chat)
Riju: a–
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
Tulin: @Teba DAD COME PICK ME UP IM SCA–
(Tulin was disconnected from the chat)
(Teba is back online)
Teba: Tulin…?
Urbosa: it seems everyone that’s at Hyrule Castle is–
(Urbosa was disconnected from the chat)
Daruk: what the ACTUAL F–
(Daruk was disconnected from the chat)
Link: O.O
Mipha: What’s happening at Hyrule Castle!?
Master Kohga: Perhaps the Lord of Bananas punished them for eating other foods…
Sooga: That’s the most realistic explanation…
Hestu: ARE THEY ALL DEAD!?
Teba: I’m flying there now to investigate…
(Teba was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 😨
(Revali is back online)
Revali: Alright, I’m going to find out myself–
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: Oh no…
King Dorephan: Alright, no one else go until we’ve figured out what’s going on! Who is left here?
Mipha: Me, you, Link, Sidon, Master Kohga, Sooga, Hestu, and Paya, I believe.
Ganon: I’M HERE AS WELL.
Mipha: Okay, you too, Ganon. Only nine people, however.
Sooga: I didn’t realize how many people we’d lost until now…
Master Kohga: It has to be Lord of Bananas! Only people who eat foods other than bananas have disconnected so far! Sooga, we’re going to meet him!
Sooga: Understood!
Mipha: Wait, don’t–
(Master Kohga and Sooga were disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: …
(Master Kohga and Sooga reconnected to the chat)
Master Kohga: phoo, that was horrible… no banana lord…
Mipha: You went there and came back…?
Sooga: we did…
Sidon: What’s happening!? Tell us!
Master Kohga: The power just went out in Hyrule Castle. No lights or wifi available there.
(Impa reconnected to the chat)
Impa: He’s right. I just turned my sheikah slate data on, that’s the only way I can access the chat. All the power is out, the wifi too. But other than that, nothing’s wrong.
King Dorephan: I… see. Well, I must go.
Mipha: Goodbye, father!
(King Dorephan left the chat)
(Teba and Revali reconnected to the chat)
Revali: Teba and I are back in Rito Village, and yes, that’s what happened. How anticlimactic. Ugh, I’m sick of all this.
(Revali left the chat)
Tulin: I’m here too! Dad picked me up :D
Teba: I’m exhausted…
(Teba left the chat)
Tulin: imma go play games lol
(Tulin left the chat)
Mipha: What caused the power to go out…?
Impa: We’re not sure, and I doubt we’ll be able to figure it out without the help of Purah and Robbie… @Paya are you still there?
(Paya is back online)
Paya: What do you need?
Impa: Could you find Purah and Robbie and tell them to head to Hyrule Castle, please?
Paya: Why me?
Impa: You’re in Kakariko Village, aren’t you?
Paya: I am…? And?
Impa: They are too, aren’t they?
Paya: No…?
Impa: wait… what?
Paya: in fact, pretty sure they’re at Hyrule Castle too now…
Impa: …
Paya: oh shoot, I have to go
(Paya left the chat)
Impa: WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON
Hestu: I hope you all figure it out, but I got to go too now! Byeeeeee!
(Hestu left the chat)
(Daruk, Urbosa, Terrako, Zelda, Yunobo, and Riju reconnected to the chat)
Daruk: the power’s back on!
Zelda: the wifi too, thank sweet hylia
Terrako: 😃
Riju: yay!!!!
Impa: okay, but… why did it go out in the first place!? And @Purah @Robbie if you’re at Hyrule castle HELP US!
Urbosa: they haven’t said anything this whole time
Purah: DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!
Robbie: YES PLEASE!!!!!
Impa: You’re here!? GUYS!
Purah: what we’re about to say may come as a grand surprise…
Robbie: …but we have done nothing that could lead to your demise!
Impa: we’re rhyming things now!?
Purah: SHHH! Anyway…
Robbie: HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOOLS! YOU FOUND YOURSELVES CAUGHT IN OUR TRAP!
Purah: NOW GIMME A GOOD CLICK SNAP!
(Purah and Robbie left the chat)
Impa: WHOA WHOA WHOA
(Impa added Purah and Robbie to the chat)
Impa: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES NOW
Robbie: What’s there to explain? It’s Halloween!
Purah: This was our show, fit for a queen!
Impa: AND STOP RHYMING STUFF IT’S SO ANNOYING OH HYLIA JUST TELL US WHAT YOU DID, HOW, AND WHY
Purah: fiiiiine, sister
Robbie: Very simply, we hit the breaker and turned off the wifi!
Purah: Yeah, we’ve actually been watching the chat using data the whole time, just to watch all of your individual reactions! It was priceless!
Impa: …
Zelda: I’m glad nothing was truly wrong… but… why?
Robbie: Why not? It’s Halloween!
Zelda: you scared us half to death…
Purah: YEAH THAT’S THE POINT OF HALLOWEEN
Zelda: *sighs*
(Zelda left the chat)
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: …he needs charging for real now… I do too, I’m thoroughly exhausted after all this…
(Impa left the chat)
Yunobo: m– me too…
(Yunobo left the chat)
Daruk: am I the only one who thought this prank was actually lowkey fire
Purah: awwww, thanks!
Link: 🔥
Robbie: indeed!
Mipha: Link thinks it sounds like it would’ve been, had we been there… I personally wouldn’t have wanted to be…
Link: 😴
Mipha: Ah, yes, we should go to bed. Goodbye to everyone here!
Sidon: Goodbye, friends!
Purah: bye
Robbie: bye!
(Link, Mipha, and Sidon left the chat)
Riju: imma go beat Tulin in lightning shooters again
(Riju left the chat)
(Daruk and Urbosa were disconnected from the chat)
(Daruk and Urbosa reconnected to the chat)
Daruk: what happened!?
Urbosa: the power’s going out again… and the floor is shifting beneath us!
Master Kohga: *GAAASP* it must be the Lord of Bananas this time!
Sooga: One can pray…
Daruk: @Purah @Robbie is this you?
Purah: uh, no… we’re feeling it too…
Robbie: indeed…
Ganon: IT IS I.
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
(Daruk and Urbosa were disconnected from the chat)
(Purah and Robbie were disconnected from the chat)
Ganon: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 21: Everyone elimination game
Notes:
I'll post three chapters today since I'm going to be gone tomorrow and all of next week!
Chapter Text
(CharactersChatBot started a chat)
(CharactersChatBot added the 24 main characters to the chat)
CharactersChatBot: Let’s do an elimination game!
Mipha: Oh, another one?
Tulin: a game!? how do you play!?
CharactersChatBot: Where you can vote each other off the chat using the process of elimination! Last person standing wins! I won’t play though, since I’m not a person. Instead I’ll be the person that counts the votes. We’ve done it before but only with the champions. This time, let’s do it with all of you! Would you like to play?
Tulin: WOOO YEAH
Riju: ME TOO
Link: 👍
Daruk: sure!
Mipha: Yes!
Urbosa: why not?
Revali: ugh, do I have to?
CharactersChatBot: I hugely encourage it!
Master Kohga: Are there prizes for whoever wins?
CharactersChatBot: There aren’t, aside from bragging rights!
Master Kohga: meh… I’ll still play
Sooga: I will as well
Zelda: uh… sure
Impa: I guess
Robbie: Let’s do it!
Purah: IF YOU CAN GIMME A GOOD CLICK SNAP, @CharactersChatBot!
CharactersChatBot: CLICK SNAP!
Purah: AW YEAH, I PROGRAMMED YOU RIGHT! I’LL PLAY!
King Rhoam: you don’t need to type in all capitals… I’ll play too though
Sidon: I shall play as well!
CharactersChatBot: Let’s do it! Throw in your votes for the first round!
Link: 😈
Mipha: I vote Ganon as well
Daruk: Ganon x3
Urbosa: Ganon x4
Impa: Ganon x5
Zelda: Ganon x6
Terrako: 😈 x7
Sidon: Ganon x8
King Rhoam: Ganon x9
Teba: Ganon x10
Riju: Ganon x11
Tulin: Ganon x12
Hestu: Ganon x13! He’s getting more votes than I’m missing korok seeds…
Revali: LINK
Purah: Aw, Revali, you broke the chain! I vote Ganon x14
Robbie: Ganon x15
Yunobo: Ganon x16
King Dorephan: Ganon x17
Paya: Ganon x18
Master Kohga: Ass-tor
Sooga: Astor x2
Monk Maz Koshia: Ganon
Astor: LINK
Ganon: LINK
CharactersChatBot: Ganon has been eliminated, and in an almost unanimous sweep!
(Ganon was muted for the rest of the chapter)
Link: 😤
Astor: curse you
Link: 🖕
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Revali: LINK
Astor: LINK
Master Kohga: ASS-TOR
Sooga: Astor x2
Link: 🤡🔮 x3
Urbosa: ass-tor x4
Mipha: Astor x5
Zelda: Astor x6
Daruk: Astor x7
Impa: Astor x8
Terrako: 🤡🔮 x9
Sidon: Astor x10
Riju: astor x11
Teba: Astor x12
King Rhoam: Astor x13
Tulin: Astor x14
Robbie: Astor x15
Purah: Astor x16
Hestu: Astor x17
King Dorephan: Astor x18
Paya: Astor x19
Yunobo: astor x20
Monk Maz Koshia: Astor x21
CharactersChatBot: Astor has been eliminated, and in another almost unanimous sweep!
(Astor was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: I wonder what you’ll do now that you have no villains to crap on, though!
Urbosa: we’ll crap on Revali instead
Revali: I WILL LITERALLY CRAP ON YOU
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Link: 🥦
Mipha: I guess Hestu as well for what he made Link do…
Revali: voting Link clearly won’t work, so I’m going with Hestu for his annoying korok seeds scheme
Urbosa: I see there are brains in that chicken head of yours
Revali: I’ll blow your house up
Urbosa: honestly I’ll vote Hestu too, Revali’s next though
Revali: I’ll blow your house up TWICE
Urbosa: bro chill it’s a game
Daruk: I guess Hestu
Impa: I’m going with Purah for the awful halloween prank
Zelda: I… uh… yeah same
Purah: Grow a thicker skin! It’s not like you were in any actual danger!
Zelda: my father almost had a heart attack
Purah: …I’m voting for Zelda because why not be a contrarian this time
Robbie: I’ll vote for Zelda as well
Zelda: wh– hey!
King Rhoam: yes, I almost had a heart attack… my vote lies with Purah
Terrako: 🥦
Yunobo: Hestu
Sidon: Purah, because she horrified everyone that time!
Hestu: that WAS scary, so I vote Purah!
Teba: Hestu, because of what the koroks put everyone– especially Link– through
Hestu: It’s not my fault they stole all the seeds! I’m the one giving you inventory slots!
Teba: you charge way too much… you actually expect people to get them all?
Hestu: NO WHICH IS WHY IT BARELY TAKES HALF TO MAX OUT YOUR INVENTORY
Teba: you have a point… I suppose I’ll vote Purah then, because of the halloween thing
Purah: WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING ME YOU KNOW ROBBIE WAS A PART OF IT TOO
Robbie: it was your big idea though
Impa: don’t worry, we’ll get Robbie next
Tulin: King Rhoam cuz authority figure
King Dorephan: Purah because of halloween
Riju: hestu
Master Kohga: Purah for tricking us into thinking the Lord of Bananas had arrived to earth once again!
Sooga: Indeed, Purah.
Monk Maz Koshia: Hestu
CharactersChatBot: Purah and Hestu have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Purah and Hestu were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Of course, you crapped on the one korok on the chat and the mastermind behind the recent halloween prank… but who will be eliminated next?
Impa: Robbie, probably
Urbosa: or Revali
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Link: 🙄🐦
Mipha: I’ll vote… for Zelda.
Impa: Robbie, for the halloween thing
Urbosa: Revali
Daruk: Revali
Zelda: Robbie, because of the halloween prank
Robbie: Zelda again!
Sidon: Robbie, for what happened on halloween!
Revali: URBOSA
Tulin: King Rhoam again
Riju: sure King Rhoam
Master Kohga: Robbie for the cruel trick!
Sooga: Yes, Robbie.
King Rhoam: Robbie, for almost giving me a heart attack
Terrako: 🥽🧍👁️
Teba: Robbie
Yunobo: Robbie
King Dorephan: Robbie
Paya: Robbie
Monk Maz Koshia: Zelda
CharactersChatBot: Robbie has been eliminated!
Robbie: damn, didn’t know that prank was going to get me and Purah hated by everyone
(Robbie was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: I’ll vote for Zelda again.
Link: 👍
Impa: Terrako
Urbosa: Revali
Daruk: Revali
Zelda: Paya, simply because I don’t know her as well…
Sidon: Revali, for the way he treats my beloved friend Link!
Revali: URBOSA AGAIN
Tulin: Zelda cuz authority figure
Riju: sure Zelda
Master Kohga: Zelda because I have NEVER SEEN HER EAT A BANANA!
Sooga: Yes, Zelda.
King Rhoam: Terrako
Terrako: 🫅♂️
Teba: I’ll pass this round, I don’t know who to vote
Yunobo: me too!
King Dorephan: Zelda, for… what happened to…
Paya: Zelda…
Monk Maz Koshia: Zelda
CharactersChatBot: Zelda has been eliminated!
Zelda: why is everyone voting m–
(Zelda was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: I didn’t see that coming, but it makes sense in retrospect! Next round! Throw in your votes!
Link: 🙄🐦
Mipha: Alright, Revali, for how he treats Link.
Impa: Terrako
Urbosa: Revali
Daruk: Revali
Sidon: Revali
Revali: LINK
Tulin: King Rhoam again cuz authority figure
Riju: sure King Rhoam
Master Kohga: King Rhoam, he doesn’t eat bananas!
Sooga: Yes, King Rhoam.
King Rhoam: Terrako
Terrako: 🫅♂️
Teba: I’ll pass this round, I don’t know who to vote, again
Yunobo: me too, again!
King Dorephan: I’ll pass
Paya: I’ll pass… I don’t know
Monk Maz Koshia: I shall pass as well.
CharactersChatBot: Revali and King Rhoam have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Revali and King Rhoam were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Mipha: I’ll pass this round…
Impa: Terrako
Urbosa: pass
Daruk: Riju, tried to show me a dog once
Riju: I didn’t know you were afraid!
Daruk: it still scared the living daylight out of me
Sidon: I’ll pass!
Tulin: Riju now
Riju: Tulin!
Master Kohga: Riju, for attempting to invade our hideout
Sooga: Yes, Riju.
Terrako: 👍
Teba: Riju, I believe she’s a questionable influence on Tulin…
Yunobo: uh… Urbosa? she scares me
King Dorephan: I’ll pass
Paya: I’ll pass… I don’t know, still
Monk Maz Koshia: I shall pass as well.
CharactersChatBot: Riju has been eliminated!
(Riju was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Link: 🐤
Mipha: uh, sure, Tulin
Impa: Terrako
Urbosa: pass
Daruk: Tulin, he also tried to show me a dog once
Sidon: I’ll pass!
Master Kohga: Urbosa, also for attempting to invade our hideout
Sooga: Yes, Urbosa.
Terrako: 👍
Teba: I’ll pass
Tulin: Urbosa, to try and save my a**
Teba: …where did you EVEN LEARN that word
Tulin: internet :D
Yunobo: Urbosa again, she scares me
King Dorephan: The child, Tulin.
Paya: I’ll pass… I don’t know, still
Monk Maz Koshia: Tulin, the child Rito.
CharactersChatBot: Tulin and Urbosa have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Tulin and Urbosa were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Paya, simply because she’s not participating
Link: 👍
Impa: Terrako
Terrako: 👁️⚔️
Daruk: Paya I guess because she’s not participating
Sidon: I’ll pass!
Master Kohga: Paya
Sooga: Paya
Teba: I guess Paya…?
Yunobo: uh… sure
King Dorephan: I’ll pass
Monk Maz Koshia: I’ll pass this time as well
Paya: oh… okay, bye
CharactersChatBot: Paya has been eliminated!
(Paya was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Yunobo, because I don’t know you as well as the others
Link: 👍
Impa: Terrako
Terrako: 👁️⚔️
Daruk: King Dorephan, he’s participated least out of the people left here I think
Sidon: Monk Maz Koshia, because I don’t actually know you!
Master Kohga: Yunobo, save the monk
Sooga: Yunobo
Teba: I’ll pass
Yunobo: uh… the monk
King Dorephan: Yunobo
Monk Maz Koshia: Yunobo
CharactersChatBot: Yunobo has been eliminated!
(Yunobo was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Sooga, because I don’t know you as well as the others
Link: 👍
Impa: Terrako
Terrako: 👁️⚔️
Daruk: King Dorephan again
Sidon: Monk Maz Koshia, because I don’t actually know you!
Master Kohga: King Dorephan, to save the monk
Sooga: King Dorephan
Teba: Terrako
King Dorephan: pass again
Monk Maz Koshia: Terrako, to force a tie
CharactersChatBot: King Dorephan and Terrako have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(King Dorephan and Terrako were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Sooga again
Link: 👍
Impa: Sooga, I just don’t know you
Daruk: Maz Koshia, who’s that
Sidon: Monk Maz Koshia, because I don’t actually know you!
Master Kohga: Maz Koshia, to save Sooga
Sooga: Much appreciated, and yes, I vote him as well.
Teba: I’ll pass this time
Monk Maz Koshia: Sooga, to force a tie
CharactersChatBot: Monk Maz Koshia and Sooga have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Monk Maz Koshia and Sooga were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Teba, he isn’t participating much
Link: 👍
Impa: okay sure Teba
Daruk: yeah, nothing against the guy, but he isn’t participating the way we are
Sidon: I’ll pass!
Master Kohga: I don’t know, pass I guess?
Teba: nothing I could say would change this
CharactersChatBot: Teba has been eliminated!
(Teba was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Impa, because I don’t know you nearly as well as the others
Link: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Impa: Master Kohga
Daruk: I think Master Kohga
Sidon: Impa
Master Kohga: IMPA
CharactersChatBot: Impa has been eliminated!
(Impa was muted for the rest of the chapter)
Master Kohga: phew
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: Master Kohga, I don’t know you nearly as well as the others
Link: 👍
Impa: Master Kohga again
Daruk: Master Kohga again
Sidon: Master Kohga
Master Kohga: oh goddarnit, I vote Link
CharactersChatBot: Master Kohga has been eliminated!
(Master Kohga was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: I could never vote Link or Sidon… I have to go with Daruk…
Daruk: totally understand, go ahead and vote me out, people!
Link: 🪨
Sidon: Daruk!
CharactersChatBot: Daruk has been eliminated!
(Daruk was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Next round! Throw in your votes!
Mipha: You’re making me choose to eliminate either my dearest brother or the love of my life… I can’t.
Link: …😁🐟
Sidon: Alright, if I HAVE to choose, I’ll go with eliminating Link to save Mipha!
CharactersChatBot: Link and Sidon have tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Link and Sidon were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Mipha is the winner of the elimination game!
Mipha: W– wow…
(everyone was unmuted)
Revali: at least Link didn’t win…
Urbosa: yeah, he got second place, as opposed to your… what, 30th place?
Revali: ONLY 24 PEOPLE PLAYED YOU ASININE DEEP FRIED CAMEL
Urbosa: XD
Daruk: Ganon, Astor, King Dorephan, Paya, Purah, Robbie, Hestu, Tulin, and Riju left, but I’m pretty sure the rest of us are here
Zelda: Teba, Terrako, King Rhoam, and Yunobo are gone too
Master Kohga: Monk Maz Koshia also left
Sooga: we’re here though
(Revali left the chat)
Zelda: he didn’t even say goodbye
Impa: I got to go, not surprised that Mipha won though
(Impa left the chat)
Daruk: I had a feeling Mipha was going to win! I have to go too, though
(Daruk left the chat)
Master Kohga: it’s dinnertime, I have to go as well
Sooga: indeed
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Sidon: My father is calling me! Goodbye, everyone!
(Sidon left the chat)
Zelda: my father also is… bye
(Zelda left the chat)
Mipha: Bye, Link ^-^
Link: 👋
(Mipha left the chat)
(Link ended the chat)
Chapter 22: Meeting in Goron City
Chapter Text
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Mipha, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Daruk: GUYS, DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS!?
Link: ?
Mipha: What news?
Urbosa: What’s happening?
Revali: you don’t need to yell >:(
Daruk: Death Mountain eruptions stopped! The area is now okay for non-gorons to visit without fireproof stuff! You didn’t know!?
Urbosa: oh, that, yeah
Revali: forgive me for not checking the Goron Broadcasting Corporation…
Urbosa: it’s not just on the GBC, but most news sources, since it’s pretty big
Daruk: It is! You guys can finally come over!
Revali: uninterested
Daruk: too bad, because our next meeting will be here
Revali: what
Daruk: it’s true! I spoke with King Rhoam today, and the next meeting of the champions will be hosted in Goron City :D
Revali: …
Revali: well, at least it won’t be at my place, you raid my fridge every time
Daruk: welp, see you guys in a week!
*a week later*
Mipha: It’s still quite hot…
Revali: you’re right
Link: 👍
Urbosa: not as bad as the gerudo desert
Daruk: welcome, fellow champions! champion fellows!
Urbosa: yo
Link: 👋
Mipha: Hello, Daruk!
Revali: hmph
Daruk: would anyone like lava cream?
Mipha: Uh… what?
Urbosa: what’s that?
Daruk: a sweet Goron treat! it’s sugary melt-in-your-mouth cream! I’ve got rock roast flavor! the best one!
Link: 🍨?
Daruk: same concept, little guy!
Link: 😋
Daruk: oh, you want to try it?
Link: 👍
Daruk: GREAT, here’s a metal bowl full of it!
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: LINK!
Daruk: oh damn, forgot to mention it’s also as hot as real lava…
Urbosa: at least he dropped and spilled it on himself before he could drink it… though he’s covered in burns now
Revali: pfft, it’s his fault for trying to eat it without asking first
Mipha: I’m going to heal him!
(Mipha has gone offline)
Revali: tch, you know, a bit splashed on my feathers
Urbosa: oh, shut up, Ravioli
Revali: YOU shut up, asinine deep fried camel
Urbosa: is that just your go-to insult for me now? I’m not even a camel
Revali: AND I’M NOT PASTA
(Link reconnected to the chat)
(Mipha is back online)
Mipha: phew…
Link: 😩🍽️
Mipha: You’re hungry? Of course you are…
Urbosa: Daruk, is any of your food edible for hylians?
Revali: probably not, Link should’ve eaten before coming
Mipha: He did.
Revali: …what
Mipha: We ate lunch together before heading here.
Revali: it’s literally 1:00 pm… why would he need to eat anything…
Mipha: He hasn’t yet eaten his second lunch…
Link: 👍
Daruk: rock roast is edible for hylians, isn’t it?
Mipha: Uh, no… it’s…
Daruk: aw, but when he came with Zelda to recruit me, we enjoyed rock roast together!
Mipha: Yes, and then… he choked…
Link: 👀
Mipha: Link, no…
Link: 😋🪨
Mipha: Link, NO!
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: LINK!
(Mipha left the chat)
Revali: why were we here for a meeting again?
Daruk: checking in on how the divine beasts are doing, comparing notes!
Revali: Medoh’s doing fine, so I’m out
(Revali left the chat)
Daruk: …
Urbosa: of course he didn’t even say goodbye… anyway, goodbye
(Urbosa left the chat)
(Daruk ended the chat)
Chapter 23: COVID
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Mipha, Revali, Link, and Urbosa to the chat)
Daruk: GUYS, DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS!?
Link: ?
Mipha: What news?
Revali: Is this about Death Mountain again?
Daruk: It is…
Urbosa: What happened?
Daruk: I have bad news…
Revali: What, did eruptions start again?
Daruk: Well, no, but… it turns out the eruptions stopping might not have been for the best…
Mipha: Why not…?
Daruk: It became more hospitable, but not just for non-gorons. For viruses too.
Mipha: Oh, for… for pathogens?
Daruk: yeah, and… a virus that was hiding in the ground came out… it’s already infected hylian tourists who came to look at the caves
Link: …
Revali: It better not have infected me when we had that meeting…
Daruk: No, no, it’s only a thing now, but… yeah.
Urbosa: What’s the virus called?
Daruk: It’s called COVID
Urbosa: what are the symptoms?
Daruk: the symptoms are pretty much reminiscent of a common cold plus a fever
Urbosa: huh
Daruk: I hope the doctors are able to develop a cure for it soon, people are dying to it
Mipha: They are? O.O
(Zelda joined the chat)
Zelda: Everyone, as the queen of Hyrule, I must inform you that the land is now under a strict lockdown because of COVID! It has been declared a kingdomwide pandemic!
Revali: The queen of Hyrule? What are you talking about?
Zelda: COVID killed my father
Revali: WHAT
Mipha: O– oh… I’m pretty worried about my own father now…
(King Dorephan joined the chat)
King Dorephan: Don’t worry, Mipha, I was just about to announce Zora’s Domain lockdown, effective until the pandemic is over. And no cases have been reported in our domain yet. We’re safe.
Urbosa: I don’t think anyone in the gerudo desert has been infected either, which is to be expected, as we’re pretty far from Eldin
Daruk: Guys, don’t let this turn you off Eldin, okay? I swear that Death Mountain is a cool place!
Mipha: Cool…?
Daruk: Well, not literally– it’s pretty hot, even with the eruptions halted– but still! It’s nice! And us Gorons are friendly! Tourists are always welcome! …unless you’re coming here to steal our prime juicy rock roast, in which case we’ll show no mercy
Revali: please, none of us would ever want your rock things
Daruk: …or unless you’re Revali, we’ll show no mercy to Revali
Revali: I don’t even want to go!!!!!
(Impa and Paya joined the chat)
Daruk: what’s up Sheikah gals :D
Impa: Kakariko Village is under lockdown, but the economy is better than ever, interestingly…
Paya: it is! the sales are off the charts!
Revali: sales of WHAT
Paya: stealth masks!
Daruk: wait, what? how will stealth help with COVID?
Impa: Daruk, have you seen a stealth mask before
Daruk: Well, no… Sheikah clothing is too small for Gorons anyway
Paya: it’s the mask part! Princ– err, QUEEN Zelda just purchased a lot! They’re being sold all across Central Hyrule!
Urbosa: ah, yes, we ordered a shipment of them as well
Zelda: wearing masks is strongly recommended, and even mandatory in certain places!
King Dorephan: Ah, yes, it’s been made mandatory in Zora’s Domain.
(Master Kohga and Sooga joined the chat)
Master Kohga: ONE OF US!
Sooga: ONE OF US!
Master Kohga: We Yiga… we’ve been wearing masks forever, and not just for our nose and mouth! For our whole face!
Revali: how do you even see out of those things
Sooga: with our third eye, of course
Zelda: your what?
Sooga: I don’t expect non-Yigas to understand…
Master Kohga: In any case, the Yiga Clan Hideout is doing fine throughout the pandemic! We’ve locked down completely, and no one in the hideout has the virus, so, we should be good!
Sooga: Yes, hopefully… it’s very important that you in particular don’t catch the virus, Master Kohga.
Master Kohga: PFFT, as if a puny little virus could take me down!
(Yunobo joined the chat)
Daruk: Yunobo, how’s it going!
Yunobo: not good…
Daruk: what’s wrong? are you sick with COVID?
Yunobo: we didn’t manage to shut down Yunobo Co. construction projects for COVID until now, and people are sick because of it…
Daruk: oh
Urbosa: well, that’s the responsible thing to do in a crisis such as this
Yunobo: I also… yes, have COVID… *cough* *cough*
Daruk: oh damn
Yunobo: I’m scared I’m going to die…
Daruk: hang in there, buddy!
(Yunobo was disconnected from the chat)
Daruk: YUNOBO!
Zelda: all construction projects across Hyrule have to be shut down, Hudson Construction too– I’ve already ordered the Zonai Survey Team to disband temporarily
Master Kohga: NOT THE YIGA!
Zelda: h– huh?
Master Kohga: WE WILL CONTINUE TO CONQUER THE DEPTHS EVEN IN COVID! NOTHING SHALL KEEP US FROM DESTINY! AND NONE OF US ARE SICK!
Sooga: Yiga supremacy 🙏 and glory to you, Master Kohga
Master Kohga: YES, that’s the spirit, Sooga!
Daruk: …
Mipha: There are people in the domain who’ve gotten sick, even with lockdown, now…
(Sidon joined the chat)
Sidon: Not to fear, sister! We will get through this together!
Mipha: Y– yes, of course…
(Teba joined the chat)
Teba: *sigh*
Revali: what’s going on?
Teba: Tulin’s sick with COVID…
Daruk: dang
(Riju joined the chat)
Riju: yeah… same… *cough* *cough*
(Riju was disconnected from the chat)
Urbosa: Riju!
Daruk: dang x2
(Tulin joined the chat)
Tulin: hey guys, my Dad’s letting me play games on my Sheikah slate for an unlimited amount of time! :D
Daruk: oh, uh… cool?
Tulin: maybe having COVID isn’t too ba– *cough* *COUGH* *COUGH*
(Tulin was disconnected from the chat)
Teba: TULIN!
Zelda: alright that’s it MASKS ARE MANDATORY ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Master Kohga: a hundred steps ahead of you, Hylian monarch
Sooga: the Yiga will always be ahead
(Monk Maz Koshia joined the chat)
Monk Maz Koshia: Us Sheikah will be as well…
Impa: indeed
Paya: that’s right! masks for everyone now!
Revali: THE HELL IS THIS THING!? I’M SUFFOCATING!
Teba: I’d suggest wearing it all the time unless you want to catch what Tulin got… and then passed to me…
Revali: wait, he… passed it to you?
Teba: *COUGH* yes *COUGH* Kaneli too *COUGH*
Revali: …
(Teba was disconnected from the chat)
Urbosa: I got COVID too, from Riju… ugh…
(Urbosa was disconnected from the chat)
Paya: this is insane, oh my gosh…
Impa: it IS…
(Hestu joined the chat)
Hestu: what’s up everyone!?
Monk Maz Koshia: Up is a concept, a direction supposedly meaning the opposite of the pull of gravity.
Hestu: uh… right
Sidon: How are you doing, Hestu?
Hestu: oh, I’m great!
Daruk: even with the pandemic going on?
Hestu: Koroks are immune to COVID!!!!! XD
Revali: …what
Hestu: yeah, we’re the one Hyrulean race it can’t infect!
Urbosa: that must be nice
Hestu: yup!
(Purah, Robbie, and Terrako joined the chat)
Robbie: Hey, everyone!
Purah: We have great news to share!
Impa: Oh, great, we need good news at this point…
Robbie: Because Guardians can’t catch COVID, we sent Terrako all around Hyrule, gathering information on the virus!
Terrako: ^-^👍
Purah: AAAAAND, WE’VE NOW DEVELOPED A VACCINE!
King Dorephan: Thank goodness…
Impa: wow, that’s… amazing news.
Zelda: oh, wonderful, I’ll work on getting it to– *cough* *cough* *COUGH* *COUGH*
Purah: you good?
Zelda: no
(Zelda was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: …
Robbie: We’ll have to distribute it ourselves. You prepared for this, Terrako?
Terrako: 👍
Robbie: Great!
Purah: oh, wait, there’s some bad news too, though
Impa: oh jeez… what is it?
Purah: weeeeell, just as we managed to develop a vaccine, the virus evolved, more variants are emerging
Impa: what
Purah: we have a vaccine for the first strain of COVID, but it won’t protect people against new variants
Impa: WHAT
Purah: hey, we managed to make a vaccine for the first strain, which is far more than anyone else could do! and we’ll work on a vaccine for the other variants too! cut us some slack already, sister!
Impa: I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just surprised… and horrified
Purah: us too
Mipha: Please, deliver the vaccines to Zora’s Domain as soon as you can! My father is sick!
Robbie: We will!
Daruk: I’m sick with COVID now too…
Mipha: Daruk…?
Daruk: I never thought that a microscopic virus… could possibly… take down… the mighty Daruk… *cough* *COUGH*
Mipha: DARUK!
(Daruk was disconnected from the chat)
Link: O.O
Mipha: Oh, good, father’s been vaccinated…
Sidon: We have as well!
Revali: When are the vaccines coming to Rito Vill– *COUGH*
Mipha: Revali…?
Revali: OH C’MON I DIDN’T WEAR THOSE SUFFOCATING SHEIKAH MASKS FOR NOTH– *COUGH* SCREW IT *COUGH*
Mipha: REVALI!
(Revali was disconnected from the chat)
Link: …
Hestu: *cough* guys… a new variant emerged… *cough* capable of *COUGH* infecting koroks *COUGH* *COUGH*
Mipha: O.O
(Hestu was disconnected from the chat)
King Dorephan: unfortunately, I’ve fallen ill as well from a new variant…
Mipha: Father…?
(King Dorephan was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: FATHER!!!!!
Sidon: NOOOOO!!!!!
Paya: *cough* I am *cough* also sick *COUGH* even though I did my best *COUGH* to avoid it… *COUGH*
(Paya was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: Paya…
Monk Maz Koshia: It appears there is even a variant capable of infecting guardians…
Impa: goodness…
Terrako: OIKJTKHOFKSJRKJGHRLJ–
(Terrako was disconnected from the chat)
Purah: oh, no, NO! this is horrible! We’re trying to develop better vaccines and medicines but Terrako’s dead and ROBBIE’S SICK TOO NOW!!!!!
Robbie: *COUGH*
Purah: ROBBIE NOOOOO
(Robbie was disconnected from the chat)
Purah: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! …but at least your death won’t be in vain, because I’m now so close to developing a new vaccine for– *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*
Impa: Robbie? Purah…?
(Purah was disconnected from the chat)
Impa: oh hylia
Mipha: We’re done for, aren’t we…?
Link: O.O
(Astor joined the chat)
Astor: YOU ARE!
Impa: GAH! What are YOU doing on here!?
Astor: The virus was sent by the calamity, by the true god himself! It will wipe out every one of you, and then, this land will be ours for the taking, as we are IMMUNE!
Impa: …
Monk Maz Koshia: I sense your demise approaching…
Astor: whAT!? you old– *COUGH* …WHAT!?
Monk Maz Koshia: I have spoken…
(Monk Maz Koshia left the chat)
Master Kohga: The monk is right, Ass-tor!
Sooga: There is a new variant that can infect even monsters and creatures of pure malice such as you.
Astor: WHA– *COUGH*
Master Kohga: We discovered it while researching the depths!
Impa: but how’d the virus even get to the de– *cough* *COUGH*
Master Kohga: SHUT UP I’M TALKING
(Impa was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: She died from COVID too…?
Sidon: *cough* *cough* *COUGH*
Mipha: SIDON!
Master Kohga: Will you guys stop DYING!? You’re interrupting my reveal!
(Sidon was disconnected from the chat)
Mipha: NO!!!!!
Link: 😭
Mipha: Oh no… my throat feels sore…
Link: 😨
Mipha: *cough* *cough* *COUGH*
Link: 😱
(Mipha was disconnected from the chat)
Link: 💔 💔 💔 💔 💔
(Link was disconnected from the chat)
Astor: You Yiga… what did you do to me!?
Master Kohga: You fell for our trap, Ass-tor! You consumed the soul of a Yiga who’d voluntarily contracted the illness beforeward!
Sooga: A noble sacrifice on the part of our fellow Yiga.
Master Kohga: And now you’re going to DIE! You and Calamity Ganon both!
(Astor was disconnected from the chat)
Ganon: He was weak, but I am IMMORTAL! I cannot POSSIBLY– *cough* *cough* *cough* *COUGH* *COUGH*
(Ganon was disconnected from the chat)
Master Kohga: YES, AT LAST!!!!!
Sooga: Indeed!
Master Kohga: Us Yiga are the only ones now who remain!
Sooga: Indeed!
Master Kohga: We shall take over! We can explore and colonize the depths, entire surface, and sky!
Sooga: Ind– *cough*
Master Kohga: Sooga…?
Sooga: *COUGH*
Master Kohga: Sooga!
Sooga: Master Kohga, you– *COUGH* must get away from me… or else you’ll get sick too…
Master Kohga: oh, SCREW THAT!
Sooga: but then… who will take over?
Master Kohga: …
Sooga: Master Kohga, please, don’t… don’t die because of me…
Master Kohga: I’m not going to die! I’m stronger than some vir– *cough*
Sooga: …
Master Kohga: Sooga, hang in there! *COUGH*
Sooga: It’s too late…
(Sooga was disconnected from the chat)
Master Kohga: SOOGA NOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO– *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*
(Master Kohga was disconnected from the chat)
(Monk Maz Koshia joined the chat)
Monk Maz Koshia: …
Monk Maz Koshia: I see…
Monk Maz Koshia: I suppose I’ll simply end the chat, then…
(Monk Maz Koshia ended the chat)
Notes:
Okay, so, the reason I posted three chapters today is because I'm going to be gone tomorrow and all of next week. I'm going on a canoe camping trip and I won't have reception let alone internet until August 27th. And even then, I won't be home until the end of the week.
Kudos and comments are always appreciated! If you leave a comment during the time that I'm gone, I SWEAR, I WILL get back to you when I return, it just might take a few days.
- KosmosTheUnderworlder
Chapter 24: The mall
Notes:
Everyone was brought back to life, and the COVID pandemic came to an end eventually.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
(Link, Mipha, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa, Zelda, Impa, Terrako, Purah, Robbie, Sidon, Yunobo, Teba, Tulin, Riju, Hestu, Paya, Master Kohga, and Sooga joined the chat)
Impa: I’m so glad the COVID pandemic is finally over…
Zelda: you can say that again
Revali: finally, we don’t have to wear those damn suffocating masks anymore
Daruk: sorry about all that, guys…
Urbosa: don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t the Gorons’ fault in the slightest
Daruk: thanks Urbosa…
Revali: speak for yourself, I will personally hold a grudge against them forever
Mipha: Revali…
Revali: errr… I forgive them, because Link died during the pandemic
Mipha: REVALI.
Revali: Fine, FINE! I’m glad the pandemic’s over and that everyone’s alive again…
Mipha: Good.
Revali: …EXCEPT LINK!
Mipha: REVALI!!!
Urbosa: shut it, bird brain
Revali: YOU shut it, asinine deep fried camel
Mipha: Guys…
Urbosa: you’re never gonna stop calling me that, are you?
Revali: definitely not, because that’s WHAT YOU ARE!
Mipha: GUYS.
Urbosa: I could turn you into a deep fried chicken
Revali: and I could destroy your entire puny little town with bombs! FROM HUNDREDS OF METERS IN THE SKY!
Mipha: GUYS!!!
Urbosa: O.O
Revali: y– yes, Mipha…?
Mipha: QUIT FIGHTING!!!
Urbosa: yes, ma’am
Revali: of course
Impa: …in any case, if you’re all finished, I’ve got an announcement to make.
Daruk: you do?
Impa: All COVID precautions have officially been made optional, and now a giant shopping area we’ve decided to call a “mall” just finished getting set up where Hyrule Castle Town used to be.
Purah: yep, it’s just north of where Lookout Landing is!
Zelda: oh, right, there’s that… I was meaning to make an announcement about it
Master Kohga: What is a mall?
Paya: A shopping center, it’s like a collection of stores which sell all different things, joined together in one area.
Master Kohga: Hmm, sounds interesting…
Sooga: Indeed… and where is it located?
Paya: Where Hyrule Castle Town used to be! I haven’t gone yet, but I’m planning on going pretty soon ^-^
Mipha: I believe I heard about this…
Sidon: I did as well!
Daruk: I say we go on a trip there! Who’s in?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Uh… sure.
Sidon: Let’s do it!
Tulin: yeah, sounds fun
Riju: I’ll go too!
Urbosa: why not
Revali: this sounds like a waste of time…
Mipha: Revali? You aren’t going to check it out?
Revali: …okay, fine, I guess I will… only if they sell arrows, though…
Impa: There IS a weapons shop. It should be somewhere on the map.
Robbie: Let’s all meet up there!
Purah: Agreed!
(Purah ended the chat)
*a while later*
(Daruk started a chat)
Daruk: okay, so, who showed up?
(Impa joined the chat)
Impa: I’m here.
(Link joined the chat)
Link: 👍
(Urbosa joined the chat)
Urbosa: I have arrived
(Mipha joined the chat)
Mipha: Greetings, everyone!
(Sidon joined the chat)
Sidon: Hello, friends!
(Purah and Robbie joined the chat)
Purah: Robbie and I are definitely here!
(Riju joined the chat)
Riju: I came with Urbosa!
(Hestu joined the chat)
Hestu: Hellooooo! I’m here to buy cool stuff!
(Zelda and Terrako joined the chat)
Zelda: hello, everyone… we’re here
(Paya joined the chat)
Paya: I thought I should come as well ^-^
(Tulin joined the chat)
Tulin: it is MALL DAY my dudes!
(Teba joined the chat)
Teba: urgh… I came with Tulin…
(Yunobo joined the chat)
Yunobo: I came because the Great Daruk wanted me to…
Teba: You know you don’t have to go to everything he invites you to, right?
(Revali joined the chat)
Revali: I’m here… why am I here again?
Urbosa: because you’re a hopeless Mipha simp
Revali: f*** you
Urbosa: hehe you know it’s true 😂
Revali: shut up now
Urbosa: you’re still not denying it 😏
Revali: I will decapitate you
Urbosa: I’d love to see you try
(Master Kohga and Sooga joined the chat)
Master Kohga: We’re here… where’s the map?
Impa: Oh, right, everyone, here’s the map.
Tulin: wait, where’s the Hyrule Games store? I don’t see it on the map
Zelda: oh, there isn’t one, actually
Tulin: I thought they operated everywhere in Hyrule! There’s even a store in Rito Village!
Riju: and one in Gerudo Town!
Zelda: everywhere except Central Hyrule, my father made them illegal over here after a Hyrule Games console he bought exploded and caused him to spill wine on his favorite bathrobe
Tulin: authority figures smh
Riju: f*** King Rhoam, that’s the reason I came
Urbosa: who taught Riju that word…?
Revali: probably you, we all know how you are after ten noble pursuits
Urbosa: I’ll have you know I can hold my liquor, it takes more than that to get me drunk
Revali: the chat logs from the New Year’s party say otherwise
Urbosa: that was long ago, I’ve built up a better tolerance now
Revali: not sure if that’s actually something to be proud of
Daruk: for once, I agree with Revali
Purah: we’re getting off topic, where do you guys want to go in the mall?
Riju: is there a candy shop?
Purah: there is
Riju: I guess I’ll go there instead of a Hyrule Games store
Tulin: I wanna go to the candy shop too! Dad, c’mon!
Teba: ugh… coming…
Urbosa: Teba, you look exhausted
Teba: I AM…
Urbosa: you go home, I’ll go with them
Teba: What? What about Tulin?
Urbosa: I’ll make sure that he gets home, you go and rest
Teba: thank you, Gerudo Champion…
Urbosa: no problem
(Teba left the chat)
Robbie: Man, being a father is hard, huh?
Purah: it would appear so!
Robbie: but anyway, I think we should meet at the food court at lunchtime, after finishing shopping
Purah: good idea, let’s do it!
Urbosa: I’m taking Tulin and Riju to the candy shop, we’ll be back in a bit
(Urbosa, Tulin, and Riju left the chat)
Revali: I’m going to the weapons shop now to get those arrows
(Revali left the chat)
Master Kohga: Is there a banana shop?
Impa: Well, no, but the grocery store sells bananas.
Sooga: It does?
Impa: Yeah, plenty.
Master Kohga: Alright! Sooga, TO THE GROCERY STORE!
Sooga: Understood!
(Master Kohga and Sooga left the chat)
Zelda: that reminds me… I need to pick up groceries. Let’s go, Terrako!
Terrako: 👍
(Zelda and Terrako left the chat)
Mipha: I am going to go to the luminous stone carving shop! It sounds interesting!
Sidon: Oh, yes! They have an expert who can carve anything that you ask for!
Mipha: Link, do you want to come with us?
Link: 😁👍
Mipha: Let’s go!
(Mipha, Link, and Sidon left the chat)
Hestu: I’m going to the music store! Anyone else want to come along?
Daruk: I’ll go! We barely even have music in Goron City– all we can manage to do is bang rocks together! Yunobo, you wanna come?
Yunobo: um– yeah!
(Hestu, Daruk, and Yunobo left the chat)
Paya: I’m… um… I’m going to the pet store. Anyone else want to join?
Impa: Yeah, sure.
Robbie: Why not!
Purah: I’ll go too!
Robbie: We’ll all meet at the food court in time for lunch!
(Paya, Impa, Purah, and Robbie left the chat)
*a while later*
(Paya, Impa, Purah, and Robbie joined the chat)
Paya: awww… those animals were so cute!
Impa: I honestly agree
Robbie: Everyone has lunch? Good!
Purah: Let’s see who shows up again!
(Revali joined the chat)
Revali: I went to the weapons shop, bought all their arrows, and I’m leaving now
(Revali left the chat)
Purah: …
(Terrako and Zelda joined the chat)
Zelda: hello, I got everything I needed grocery shopping
Terrako: 👍
Purah: oh, right, you went to the grocery store… did you see the Yiga?
Zelda: Master Kohga and Sooga? yeah, they left right after grabbing all the bananas in the store
Purah: huh
(Hestu, Daruk, and Yunobo joined the chat)
Hestu: hey everybody!
Zelda: oh, how was the music store?
Daruk: it was awesome, Hestu taught Yunobo and I all kinds of cool stuff about music!
Yunobo: y– yeah!
Purah: awesome!
(Mipha, Link, and Sidon joined the chat)
Sidon: greetings, friends!
Impa: yo, how was the luminous stone carving shop?
Mipha: It was amazing… the expert truly could carve anything we asked for!
Link: 😁👍
Purah: what did you get from them?
Mipha: Well, Sidon got a luminous stone bracelet of his own design…
Robbie: what about you and Link?
Mipha: O– oh… well…
Terrako: 👀
Mipha: Um, we got matching luminous stone pendants with our initials engraved on them…
Link: 👍♥️
Purah: aw, how adorably romantic!
Mipha: Yeah, though, just after leaving to come over here, we heard a loud crash from somewhere in the mall…
Impa: hold on, come to think of it, I think I heard it too…
Daruk: me too, yeah, something like that…
Zelda: us too!
(Urbosa joined the chat)
Urbosa: h– hey… guys…
Zelda: Urbosa, are you alright? you really look tired!
Urbosa: uh… have any of you… seen the children?
Mipha: The children…? Meaning Tulin and Riju?
Urbosa: yeah… them…
Purah: we haven’t… what happened?
Urbosa: well, as you all know, I took them to the candy shop
Robbie: and…?
Urbosa: they ate way too much candy…
Paya: O.O
Daruk: and then what happened?
Urbosa: in the midst of their sugar rush, they ran off and left me behind
Mipha: Oh dear…
Urbosa: well, technically Tulin FLEW off, but…
Impa: and now you have no clue where they went?
Urbosa: urgh, they yelled something about going on a minecart, but… that’s the only clue I’ve got
Purah: oh, they must be talking about the minecart ride!
Paya: the what…?
Purah: well, you know the minecarts that are used to traverse Death Mountain? and other places sometimes?
Paya: yes…?
Purah: we built a small minecart ride in an open area of the mall
Robbie: it’s rather close to the food court, where we are, too…
Urbosa: you’re saying they went there, then?
Purah: probably, it’s the only minecart here
Urbosa: I’ll go look for them, then
(Tulin and Riju joined the chat)
Urbosa: THERE you are, you FINALLY show up!
Riju: we’re sorry for running off…
Tulin: we just wanted to ride the minecart…
Urbosa: you should’ve told me first
Tulin: yeah, sorry…
Urbosa: but anyway, would you like some lunch?
Riju: …
Tulin: …
Urbosa: why did you both go silent?
Tulin: I think we have to go…
Urbosa: go? why?
Riju: mall security is coming after us…
Urbosa: wait WHAT!? why!?
Tulin: we… um… might’ve accidentally crashed the minecart…
Mipha: O– oh… is THAT what the loud crash was?
Purah: how did you two manage to CRASH the minecart? we built it so, even on the fastest speed, it’s still too slow to go off the rails or crash into anything
Riju: yeah, that’s… why we ended up crashing it…
Impa: explain
Tulin: okay, so, we got on
Riju: but it was way too slow
Tulin: even on the highest speed, it was much more boring than we’d expected
Riju: it didn’t go anywhere even close to the speed of an actual minecart
Impa: yeah… for THE SAFETY OF EVERYONE IN THE MALL
Tulin: well we know that NOW 😖
Riju: but before WE DIDN’T KNOW 😩
Tulin: I decided to give it a boost, because it clearly needed one
Riju: I helped too
Tulin: and with the power of wind… I made it go FAST!
Riju: for a few seconds, it was AMAZING!
Tulin: and then it crashed into the Hudson’s Bay Company across from it, smashing through the display glass, knocking over mannequins, and shooting through the entire store and out the other side, and into other stores as well
Riju: it was fun but also horrifying
Tulin: sometimes even I’M scared of what my wind is capable of!
Riju: hey, Tulin! I helped too, giving it extra electricity power with my lightning!
Tulin: it was mostly the power of my wind though
Riju: come on, it was the combined effort of two powerful sages!
Urbosa: IS THIS SOMETHING YOU TWO ARE PROUD OF!?
Tulin: …
Riju: n– no, we aren’t, I swear!
Tulin: …not really, anyway
Riju: but as I said, mall security is coming after us! we’ve got to go!
(MallSecurityBot joined the chat)
MallSecurityBot: YOU
Tulin: AHHHHH
Riju: IT’S THEM AGAIN
MallSecurityBot: Both of you are coming with me! You are permanently banned from the mall and placed under arrest for destroying the minecart ride and a number of the shops in that area of the mall! NOW COME WITH ME!
(Tulin and Riju were disconnected from the chat)
MallSecurityBot: The rest of you! You were conversing casually with these perpetrators! Are you in cahoots with them?
Urbosa: uh– well– I’m supposed to take them home, actually…
Zelda: As the person in charge of sages, I feel the need to mention I’m an ally of theirs…
Terrako: 👍
Yunobo: I’m friends with them…
Daruk: I am too!
Hestu: me too!
(Urbosa, Zelda, Terrako, Yunobo, Daruk, and Hestu were disconnected from the chat)
MallSecurityBot: Anyone else in cahoots with these five?
Impa: …I’m not, and I’m leaving
(Impa left the chat)
Paya: wait for me!
(Paya left the chat)
Mipha: I didn’t help them, if that’s what you mean, and Sidon and Link didn’t either
Link: 👍
Sidon: Indeed, while I am friends with them, I’d never help them commit crimes!
(Mipha, Link, and Sidon left the chat)
Purah: us too!
Robbie: indeed!
(Purah and Robbie left the chat)
MallSecurityBot: well then, good day to the rest of you
(MallSecurityBot ended the chat)
Notes:
RIP Hudson's Bay Company. In both this fic and IRL.
Chapter 25: Teams elimination game
Chapter Text
(CharactersChatBot started a chat)
(CharactersChatBot added the 24 main characters to the chat)
CharactersChatBot: I have a fun activity planned for today that I think you’ll all enjoy!
Mipha: What is it?
CharactersChatBot: A teams elimination game!
Master Kohga: A TEAMS elimination game? How does that work?
CharactersChatBot: Tell me, how many people are on this chat right now not including me?
Master Kohga: 24
CharactersChatBot: Yes, and as such, you’ll divide into 6 teams of 4!
Daruk: @CharactersChatBot I’ve got a question!
CharactersChatBot: Of course! What’s your question?
Daruk: Are teams allowed to make alliances with each other?
CharactersChatBot: It’s up to you! In short, yes, if you want!
Impa: How does the team voting thing actually work?
CharactersChatBot: Of course! Individually, each member gets one vote. As a team, you get four votes. You can decide how you would like to divide them up, whether you want to use all four votes on the same person, use one vote each for four different people, etc. You are not voting for other teams though, you are still voting for individual people. However, victory is decided through teams. If all four members of a team are eliminated, that team is eliminated. If one person left from a team is the last one standing, they win the game. We have also played elimination games before, and so you know what the voting preferences of individual people are, so you can therefore strategize to ensure your team wins in many different ways that I will leave up to you.
Monk Maz Koshia: Interesting…
CharactersChatBot: Oh, and, feel free to discuss your strategy in private chats. I only need the team leader on the main chat to let me know what each team is choosing to do in each round.
Tulin: okay, so, what will the teams be?
CharactersChatBot: That’s for you to figure out! Ping me when you’re finished deciding your teams! Until then, goodbye! Oh and make sure to pick team leaders and team names!
(CharactersChatBot has gone offline)
Mipha: …
Sidon: 6 teams of 4, eh? Link, father, and dearest sister, would you like to be on a team together?
Mipha: Of course, Sidon!
King Dorephan: yes
Link: 👍
Sidon: Mipha, as Zora champion, I believe you should lead, and the team should be called Team Zora.
King Dorephan: I agree
Link: 👍
Mipha: Oh, well… if you all agree, then of course!
Daruk: Hey Yunobo! You want to form a Team Goron together?
Yunobo: oh, yeah, let’s do it! you can lead!
Daruk: I will! we need two more members, though…
Revali: tch, I suppose I’ll form a Team Rito
Teba: I’ll join, then
Tulin: me too! me too!
Revali: ugh… fine…
Hestu: ooh! I know I’m not a Rito, but could I join?
Revali: no
Hestu: aw
Daruk: join us, Hestu!
Hestu: oh, okay!
Urbosa: Revali, you know your team is going to need a fourth member, right?
Revali: shut
Urbosa: but anyway, I’ll be forming a Team Gerudo, who wants to join?
Riju: ooh, me! me!
Urbosa: alright, Riju, let’s do this
Zelda: um, Urbosa… is it okay if Terrako and I join your team, even though we’re not Gerudo?
Urbosa: yeah, sure
Zelda: thank you
Terrako: 😄
Master Kohga: I’m forming a team Yiga!
Sooga: I will join, of course.
Master Kohga: Anyone else want to join us on our path to greatness? Monk?
Monk Maz Koshia: Why not.
Master Kohga: Great! Anyone else? Spots are filling up quickly!
Purah: I’ll join, why not… I was once part of the Yiga Clan
Robbie: you were WHAT
Purah: I was joking, jeez!
Robbie: …I’m going to join their team instead, just to make sure you don’t get any ideas
Purah: awwwww
Robbie: @Master Kohga I’m joining your team
Master Kohga: Got it! Team Yiga is officially full!
Impa: If you’re forming a Team Yiga, I’ll form a Team Sheikah
Paya: I’ll join!
Purah: Me too, I’m Sheikah after all!
Robbie: is that everyone?
King Rhoam: no, I still have to join a team, and so do Ganon and Astor
Purah: oh, them… we should probably separate them so they can’t do anything crazy
Impa: for once, I agree with you…
Teba: King Rhoam, please, join our team… dealing with Tulin is hard enough, we don’t need Astor or Ganon to worry about
King Rhoam: very well, I’ll join Team Rito
Revali: …fine
Impa: Okay, so, we have to take either Ganon or Astor…
Daruk: we can keep Ganon in check! you take Astor!
Impa: …alright
Purah: @CharactersChatBot we’re finished!
(CharactersChatBot is back online)
CharactersChatBot: Awesome! Ready to play?
Link: 👍
CharactersChatBot: Great, now, let discussions for the first round start!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, and King Dorephan to the private chat)
Mipha: Okay, so… who do we want to vote out in the first round? Ganon?
Sidon: Yes, Ganon.
King Dorephan: Ganon.
Link: 👍
Mipha: Ganon it is!
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a private chat)
(Daruk added Yunobo, Hestu, and Ganon to the private chat)
Daruk: I’d say we should vote Ganon, but… uh… he’s on our team this time, meaning… Astor?
Yunobo: yeah, Astor
Hestu: yes, Astor! for what he did to Korok Forest!
Ganon: I–
Daruk: Great, we all agree! We’re voting for Astor!
(Daruk ended the private chat)
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Teba, Tulin, and King Rhoam to the private chat)
Revali: Astor?
Teba: alright
King Rhoam: yes
Tulin: Ass-tor, sure
(Revali ended the private chat)
(Urbosa started a private chat)
(Urbosa added Riju, Zelda, and Terrako to the private chat)
Urbosa: Ganon?
Riju: yep
Zelda: yes
Terrako: 👍
Urbosa: understood
(Urbosa ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the private chat)
Master Kohga: ASS-TOR
Sooga: Agreed.
Monk Mas Koshia: Why not.
Robbie: Yeah, sure!
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
(Impa started a private chat)
(Impa added Paya, Purah, and Astor to the private chat)
Impa: Ganon?
Paya: Ganon
Purah: Ganon!
Astor: I–
Impa: Ganon it is.
(Impa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The first round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Ganon
Daruk: 4 votes from Team Goron for Astor
Revali: 4 votes from Team Rito for Astor
Urbosa: 4 votes from Team Gerudo for Ganon
Master Kohga: 4 votes from Team Yiga for Ass-tor
Impa: 4 votes from Team Sheikah for Ganon
CharactersChatBot: Ganon and Astor are tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Ganon and Astor were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Onto the next round. There’ll be another brief period of discussion before the beginning of the next round starting now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, and King Dorephan to the private chat)
Mipha: Now that Ganon and Astor are out… who should we vote?
King Dorephan: hmm, things will start to get difficult…
Sidon: Why not form an alliance with another team to pool votes with? To help ensure our safety?
Mipha: That’s not a bad idea… but which team should we partner with?
King Dorephan: Not Team Goron or Team Sheikah, as they’ve already lost a member each… and not Team Rito or Team Gerudo, as they’ve got children…
Mipha: Team Yiga, then? Sidon, Link, what do you think?
Link: 👍
Sidon: Let’s do it!
(Mipha added Master Kohga, Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the chat)
Master Kohga: Huh?
Sooga: Why are we here?
Mipha: Team Yiga, we have a proposition for you.
Master Kohga: Oh, what is it?
Sidon: What do you think of forming an alliance with us, so we can pool our votes?
Sooga: An alliance?
King Dorephan: it would help both our teams stay safe, at least for the time being
Master Kohga: Hmm… sure.
Mipha: Great, now, who should we all vote this round?
Monk Maz Koshia: You all can choose.
Master Kohga: Zelda, she never eats bananas
Sooga: Agreed.
Link: 👍
Robbie: why not, let’s spice things up
Sidon: If everyone agrees, then I do too!
King Dorephan: alright
Mipha: Oh, um… I’m surprised, but sure. Let’s do it.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a chat)
(Daruk added Yunobo and Hestu to the chat)
Daruk: okay, I thought this would happen, guys, but hear me out
Yunobo: yeah?
Daruk: let’s see if we can form an alliance with Team Sheikah, as the two lesser teams currently
Hestu: oh, sure!
(Daruk added Impa, Paya, and Purah to the chat)
Daruk: hey, Team Sheikah, do you–
Impa: –want to form an alliance? Yes, absolutely.
Daruk: oh, you… knew what I was going to say?
Purah: we have been thinking the same thing!
Daruk: it’s official, then…?
Impa: yes, let’s make an alliance
Daruk: great… who are we voting this round?
Purah: what about Revali? plenty of people will probably vote him
Daruk: yeah, sure… everyone good with that?
Hestu: okay!
Impa: I guess
Paya: um… ok
Yunobo: s– sure!
Daruk: awesome!
(Daruk ended the private chat)
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Teba, Tulin, and King Rhoam to the private chat)
Revali: alright, who the f–
Tulin: wait
(Tulin added CharactersChatBot to the chat)
CharactersChatBot: what can I help with?
Tulin: are we allowed to vote people from our own team?
CharactersChatBot: I suppose there are no rules against it. If people can vote themselves out in the normal elimination games, you can vote out other people on your team in the teams elimination games.
Tulin: ooh ok :D
Teba: …Tulin, why are you asking this?
Tulin: just curious :D
CharactersChatBot: is that it?
Tulin: yep :D
(CharactersChatBot left the chat)
Tulin: but anyway let’s vote out Riju
King Rhoam: why Riju?
Tulin: she’s annoying
King Rhoam: …
Tulin: PLEEEEEEAAAAASE?????
King Rhoam: er… okay?
Teba: fine
Revali: …I guess, if we can’t rid the chat of you yet we’ll get rid of the other young annoying child
(Revali ended the private chat)
(Urbosa started a private chat)
(Urbosa added Riju, Zelda, and Terrako to the private chat)
Urbosa: who do you all want to vote?
Riju: please please vote Tulin
Zelda: why him?
Riju: he’s definitely going to want to vote me out one way or another soon
Urbosa: why’s that?
Riju: I beat him at lightning shooters again this morning…
Terrako: 🤔
Urbosa: I suppose we could vote Tulin
Riju: THANK YOU LADY URBOSA
Urbosa: everyone else is okay with that?
Zelda: uh… sure
Terrako: 👍
Urbosa: alright, awesome
(Urbosa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Zelda
Master Kohga: 4 votes from Team Sheikah for Zelda
Daruk: 3 votes from Team Goron for Revali
Impa: 3 votes from Team Sheikah for Revali
Revali: 4 votes from Team Rito for Riju
Urbosa: 4 votes from Team Gerudo for Tulin
CharactersChatBot: Zelda has been eliminated!
(Zelda was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, King Dorephan, Master Kohga, Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the chat)
Mipha: Zelda is out, now who?
Monk Maz Koshia: I have an idea, but first…
(Monkk Maz Koshia added CharactersChatBot to the chat)
CharactersChatBot: What can I help with?
Monk Maz Koshia: Is it possible for us to withhold a number of our votes, as in, to not use them?
CharactersChatBot: I suppose there are no rules against it. If people can choose to not vote in normal elimination games, you can withhold a number of your team’s votes in the teams elimination games.
Monk Maz Koshia: Understood.
CharactersChatBot: Is that it?
Tulin: yep :D
(CharactersChatBot left the chat)
Monk Maz Koshia: That settles it, the best course of action is for two votes to go to Riju, three to go to Tulin, and to withhold the remaining three.
Robbie: Why’s that?
Monk Maz Koshia: It will force a three way tie between the two children and whoever the Goron-Sheikah alliance place their votes on. It stands to reason the teams who did not get what they wanted will cast the same votes this round.
King Dorephan: Team Goron and Team Sheikah have an alliance?
Monk Maz Koshia: There’s no doubt about it.
King Dorephan: I see…
Monk Maz Koshia: Well, do we all agree?
Robbie: sure
Mipha: I trust your judgement, yes.
Link: 👍
Sidon: Let’s do it!
King Dorephan: yes
Master Kohga: Of course, Monk!
Sooga: Indeed.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a private chat)
(Daruk added Yunobo, Hestu, Impa, Paya, and Purah to the chat)
Daruk: Revali didn’t work, surprisingly…
Impa: Let’s try Terrako this time, before he tries to vote for me.
Purah: the cute little guardian? awwwww… but fine
Paya: um… ok
Hestu: sure
Yunobo: y– yeah
Daruk: alright then
(Daruk ended the private chat)
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Teba, Tulin, and King Rhoam to the private chat)
Tulin: RIJU AGAIN WE HAVE TO SHE’S EVEN VOTING FOR ME
Revali: fine, as long as you shut up
(Revali ended the private chat)
(Urbosa started a private chat)
(Urbosa added Riju and Terrako to the private chat)
Riju: we have to vote Tulin again, PLEASE!
Urbosa: alright…
(Urbosa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes for Tulin and 1 vote for Riju from Team Zora
Master Kohga: 1 vote for Riju and 3 votes withheld from Team Yiga
Daruk: 3 votes for Terrako from Team Goron
Impa: 3 votes for Terrako from Team Sheikah
Revali: 4 votes for Riju from Team Rito
Urbosa: 3 votes for Tulin from Team Gerudo
CharactersChatBot: Tulin, Riju, and Terrako are tied! They have all been eliminated!
(Tulin, Riju, and Terrako were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, King Dorephan, Master Kohga, Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the private chat)
Mipha: Wow, Monk Maz Koshia, you really…
Master Kohga: He did!
Monk Maz Koshia: We should vote Urbosa this round, in the hopes of finally eliminating a whole team.
Master Kohga: Fine by me!
Sooga: Yes.
Sidon: I have no objections!
Link: 👍
King Dorephan: alright
Robbie: sure
Mipha: Let’s do it!
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Teba and King Rhoam to the private chat)
Revali: Urbosa?
Teba: alright, to get rid of a whole team at last
King Rhoam: yes
(Revali ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a private chat)
(Daruk added Yunobo, Hestu, Impa, Paya, and Purah to the private chat)
Daruk: we should vote out a member of either Team Zora or Team Yiga, since they’re so obviously working together
Purah: let’s do Robbie, then!
Impa: …okay…
Yunobo: sure
Paya: um… ok
Hestu: sure!
Daruk: it’s decided
(Daruk ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Urbosa
Master Kohga: 4 votes from Team Yiga for Urbosa
Revali: 3 votes from Team Rito for Urbosa
Daruk: 3 votes from Team Goron for Robbie
Impa: 3 votes from Team Sheikah for Robbie
Urbosa: Revali
CharactersChatBot: Urbosa has been eliminated!
(Urbosa was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Team Gerudo has now been completely eliminated as of this round! It is the first team to fall! The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, King Dorephan, Master Kohga, Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the private chat)
Mipha: Who should we vote?
Link: 🙄🐦
Mipha: Revali? Alright. For how he treats you.
Sidon: Agreed! I respect him, but I wish he respected Link!
King Dorephan: yes
Master Kohga: Okay!
Sooga: Yes.
Monk Maz Koshia: I see no problem with it.
Robbie: sure!
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Teba and King Rhoam to the private chat)
Revali: we’re voting Link out this round
King Rhoam: Link…?
Revali: YES, they’re undoubtedly voting me soon and I’m GOING to vote him at least once before I’m removed
King Rhoam: I see… well, alright, it’s only a game
Teba: Alright.
Revali: GOOD.
(Revali ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a private chat)
Daruk: Robbie again? It has to be a member of the Zora-Yiga alliance at this point if we want to stay in the game.
Yunobo: sure
Hestu: yeah
Impa: yes
Paya: okay
Purah: go ahead!
Daruk: okay good
(Daruk ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Revali
Master Kohga: 4 votes from Team Yiga for Revali
Revali: 3 votes from Team Rito for LINK
Daruk: 3 votes from Team Goron for Robbie
Impa: 3 votes from Team Sheikah for Robbie
CharactersChatBot: Revali has been eliminated!
(Revali was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Teba is now the leader of Team Rito!
Teba: …
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, King Dorephan, Master Kohga, Sooga, Monk Maz Koshia, and Robbie to the private chat)
Mipha: What now?
Monk Maz Koshia: We attack the Goron-Sheikah alliance with everything we’ve got.
Master Kohga: Let’s vote Purah, for the Halloween thing…
Sooga: Agreed.
Sidon: Yes!
King Dorephan: why not
Robbie: let’s do it, she’s probably the one who suggested they vote me
Monk Maz Koshia: Yes.
Link: 👍
Mipha: I’m glad we all agree!
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Teba started a private chat)
(Teba added King Rhoam, Daruk, Yunobo, Hestu, Impa, Paya, and Purah to the private chat)
Teba: Everyone, hear me out, please.
Impa: What is it?
Teba: The Zora-Yiga alliance wants us to vote each other off, but if we pool all of our votes, we have the same amount as them. Could we join your alliance?
Daruk: Of course, the more the merrier!
Purah: Are you okay voting Robbie this round, Teba?
Teba: Yes, just… we have to fight them together.
Purah: aw, yeah, I’m in!
Teba: Let’s do it, then…
(Teba ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Purah
Master Kohga: 4 votes from Team Yiga for Purah
Teba: 2 votes from Team Rito for Robbie
Daruk: 3 votes from Team Goron for Robbie
Impa: 3 votes from Team Sheikah for Robbie
CharactersChatBot: Purah and Robbie are tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Purah and Robbie were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link, Sidon, King Dorephan, Master Kohga, Sooga, and Monk Maz Koshia to the private chat)
Monk Maz Koshia: It seems they have all formed an alliance now, of the three remaining teams. And together, they have as many members as us.
Master Kohga: This is troublesome…
King Dorephan: what shall we do?
Monk Maz Koshia: The only course of action is to continue voting for them. Any suggestions on who?
Master Kohga: Yunobo, he’s annoying asf
Sooga: I agree.
Mipha: We could vote him. Any objections?
Monk Maz Koshia: No objections.
Sidon: No objections!
King Dorephan: I have no objections either
Mipha: Link, you’re okay with this too?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Understood.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Teba started a private chat)
(Teba added King Rhoam, Daruk, Yunobo, Hestu, Impa, and Paya to the private chat)
Teba: Who should we vote out now?
King Rhoam: I would say someone from Team Zora, as we’ve already voted someone from Team Yiga
Daruk: What about King Dorephan, then? I don’t want to vote out Mipha, Link, or Sidon…
King Rhoam: works for me
Teba: I’m fine with that as well
Yunobo: sure!
Hestu: yeah!
Impa: alright
Paya: ok
(Teba ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 4 votes from Team Zora for Yunobo
Master Kohga: 3 votes from Team Yiga for Yunobo
Teba: 2 votes from Team Rito for King Dorephan
Daruk: 3 votes from Team Goron for King Dorephan
Impa: 2 votes from Team Sheikah for King Dorephan
CharactersChatBot: Yunobo and King Dorephan are tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Yunobo and King Dorephan were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now! Only, one thing will be changed! As we’ve reached the halfway point of the elimination game, and it seems it’s become two alliances against each other, I am making it a rule that you can only open private chats and discuss votes within your own team! Five teams left, fight!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link and Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: Alright, so, we can’t make alliances anymore… but we are doing better than all of the other teams aside from Team Yiga, who is tied with us. Who should we vote?
Link: 🥦
Mipha: You want to vote Hestu? Alright. Sidon?
Sidon: Fine with me!
Mipha: Great ^-^
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga and Monk Maz Koshia to the chat)
Master Kohga: Monk! Who are we voting?
Monk Maz Koshia: Well, the most disliked character still here is most likely Hestu, and so it would be wisest to vote him, for our own safety.
Sooga: I have no objections.
Master Kohga: okay, great, the broccoli guy, got it
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
(Teba started a private chat)
(Teba added King Rhoam to the private chat)
Teba: Who should we vote?
King Rhoam: We should try and go after one of the larger teams, again…
Teba: Then does Sooga work?
King Rhoam: sure
Teba: got it
(Teba ended the private chat)
(Daruk started a private chat)
(Daruk added Hestu to the private chat)
Daruk: We should vote someone from team Zora or Yiga, probably…
Hestu: like Sooga?
Daruk: yeah, that works
(Daruk ended the private chat)
(Impa started a private chat )
(Impa added Paya to the private chat)
Impa: Any suggestions? Preferably someone from the larger teams…
Paya: Master Kohga?
Impa: alright
(Impa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes from Team Zora for Hestu
Master Kohga: 3 votes from Team Yiga for Hestu
Teba: 2 votes from Team Rito for Sooga
Daruk: 2 votes from Team Goron for Sooga
Impa: 2 votes from Team Sheikah for Master Kohga
CharactersChatBot: Hestu has been eliminated!
(Hestu was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link and Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: If we vote Daruk, we’ll eliminate a team, are you both okay with voting him?
Link: 👍
Sidon: Yes!
Mipha: Good ^-^
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga and Monk Maz Koshia to the private chat)
Master Kohga: Who now, Monk?
Monk Maz Koshia: Daruk, to eliminate an entire team.
Sooga: Understood.
Master Kohga: Got it!
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
(Teba started a private chat)
(Teba added King Rhoam to the private chat)
Teba: Team Sheikah voted Master Kohga. If we pool with them, we should be able to get him out.
King Rhoam: we’re voting Master Kohga, then?
Teba: Yes.
(Teba ended the private chat)
(Impa started a private chat)
(Impa added Paya to the private chat)
Impa: Team Rito and Team Goron voted Sooga. If we pool with them, we should be able to get him out.
Paya: we’re voting Sooga, then?
Impa: Yes.
(Impa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes from Team Zora for Daruk
Master Kohga: 3 votes from Team Yiga for Daruk
Teba: 2 votes from Team Rito for Master Kohga
Impa: 2 votes from Team Rito for Sooga
Daruk: Sooga
CharactersChatBot: Daruk has been eliminated!
(Daruk was muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Team Goron has now been completely eliminated as of this round! It is the second team to fall! The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link and Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: Who now?
Link: ♂️🫅
Mipha: King Rhoam? Sidon, are you alright with that?
Sidon: Of course!
Mipha: Understood.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga and Monk Maz Koshia to the private chat)
Master Kohga: I suggest King Rhoam… he oppressed the Yiga for a very long time.
Sooga: I agree.
Monk Maz Koshia: Very well, I suspect we won’t be the only ones voting him.
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
(Teba started a private chat)
(Teba added King Rhoam to the private chat)
Teba: Well sh** Team Sheikah had the same idea
King Rhoam: what now?
Teba: back to Sooga, no changing this time
King Rhoam: alright
(Teba ended the private chat)
(Impa started a private chat)
(Impa added Paya to the private chat)
Impa: Well sh** Team Rito had the same idea
Paya: what do we do?
Impa: they’re probably going back to Sooga, so let’s vote him
Paya: ok
(Impa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes from Team Zora for King Rhoam
Master Kohga: 3 votes from Team Yiga for King Rhoam
Teba: 2 votes from Team Rito for Sooga
Impa: 2 votes from Team Rito for Sooga
CharactersChatBot: King Rhoam has been eliminated!
(King Rhoam was muted for the rest of the chapter)
Teba: I REALLY think Team Zora and Team Yiga are secretly still working together…
CharactersChatBot: They aren’t! They have just happened to cast the exact same votes these past few rounds!
Teba: Hmm…
CharactersChatBot: But anyway, the discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link and Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: Who now?
Link: 😐🐦
Mipha: Teba? To eliminate a whole team?
Link: 👍
Mipha: Well, alright… Sidon, are you okay with this?
Sidon: Of course!
Mipha: Understood.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Sooga and Monk Maz Koshia to the chat)
Master Kohga: I think we should vote one of the Sheikah now…
Sooga: Impa or Paya?
Master Kohga: yeah, how about… Paya?
Sooga: Agreed. Monk?
Monk Maz Koshia: I have no objections.
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
(Impa started a private chat)
(Impa added Paya to the private chat)
Impa: Sooga again?
Paya: ok
Impa: good
(Impa ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes from Team Zora for Teba
Master Kohga: 3 votes from Team Yiga for Paya
Teba: Sooga
Impa: 2 votes from Team Sheikah for Sooga
CharactersChatBot: Teba, Paya, and Sooga are tied! They have all been eliminated!
(Teba, Paya, and Sooga were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Team Rito has now been completely eliminated as of this round! It is the third team to fall! The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Link and Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: I think we should vote Impa, to finally eliminate another team…
Link: 👍
Sidon: Yes!
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
(Master Kohga added Monk Maz Koshia to the private chat)
Master Kohga: We’re stuck between Team Zora and the others… in any case, we lost Sooga… what do we do now, Monk?
Monk Maz Koshia: Vote Link. If we can take a member off Team Zora, we’ll have equal numbers again.
Master Kohga: Great idea!
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 3 votes from Team Zora for Impa
Master Kohga: 2 votes from Team Yiga for Link
Impa: Link
CharactersChatBot: Impa and Link are tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Teba, Paya, and Sooga were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Team Sheikah has now been completely eliminated as of this round! It is the fourth team to fall! The discussion time for the next round begins now!
(Mipha started a private chat)
(Mipha added Sidon to the private chat)
Mipha: Monk Maz Koshia?
Sidon: Monk Maz Koshia.
(Mipha ended the private chat)
(Master Kohga started a private chat)
Master Kohga: Sidon?
Monk Maz Koshia: Sidon.
(Master Kohga ended the private chat)
CharactersChatBot: Okay, enough time! The next round of the teams elimination game begins now! Team leaders, please step forward to present the votes of your team!
Mipha: 2 votes from Team Zora for Monk Maz Koshia
Master Kohga: 2 votes from Team Yiga for Sidon
CharactersChatBot: Monk Maz Koshia and Sidon are tied! They have both been eliminated!
(Monk Maz Koshia and Sidon were muted for the rest of the chapter)
CharactersChatBot: Alright, now… er…
Mipha: …
CharactersChatBot: Two remaining members… two remaining teams…
Master Kohga: We have to decide the winner somehow!
Mipha: But how…?
CharactersChatBot: Hmm…
Mipha: Is it possible for us both to be winners?
CharactersChatBot: I suppose… if you both agree to it
Mipha: I do!
Master Kohga: …fine, but Yiga are the best
CharactersChatBot: It’s decided, then!
(everyone was unmuted)
CharactersChatBot: The results are out! In sixth place we have Team Gerudo.
Riju: last place, huh 😭
CharactersChatBot: In fifth place we have Team Goron.
Daruk: at least we did our best!
CharactersChatBot: In fourth place we have Team Rito.
Revali: tch
CharactersChatBot: And now, for the podium results! In third place we have Team Sheikah.
Purah: good game and congratulations to those who won!
CharactersChatBot: And sharing first place, we have Team Zora and Team Yiga!
Sooga: Glory to Master Kohga!
Master Kohga: That’s right!
Sidon: Dear sister, we did it!
Mipha: We did!
CharactersChatBot: As the game is over now, I’m going to end the chat! This was fun!
(CharactersChatBot ended the chat)
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Last Edited Fri 22 Aug 2025 02:58PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 1 Fri 22 Aug 2025 08:52PM UTC
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Danyboss on Chapter 2 Sun 20 Jul 2025 10:15PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 2 Mon 21 Jul 2025 01:09AM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 2 Fri 22 Aug 2025 03:00PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 2 Fri 22 Aug 2025 08:55PM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 3 Fri 22 Aug 2025 03:02PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 3 Fri 22 Aug 2025 08:58PM UTC
Last Edited Fri 22 Aug 2025 08:58PM UTC
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TvishaEuphoria on Chapter 4 Wed 23 Jul 2025 03:48AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 4 Wed 23 Jul 2025 10:55AM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 4 Fri 22 Aug 2025 03:07PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 4 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:05PM UTC
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Basiccogs on Chapter 5 Sat 09 Aug 2025 04:25PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 5 Sat 09 Aug 2025 10:30PM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 5 Fri 22 Aug 2025 03:10PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 5 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:06PM UTC
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TvishaEuphoria on Chapter 6 Sat 26 Jul 2025 03:26AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 6 Sat 26 Jul 2025 10:35AM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 6 Fri 22 Aug 2025 01:40AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 6 Fri 22 Aug 2025 11:34AM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 7 Fri 22 Aug 2025 04:39PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 7 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:09PM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 7 Sat 23 Aug 2025 01:36AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 7 Tue 26 Aug 2025 10:53PM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 8 Fri 22 Aug 2025 01:35AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 8 Fri 22 Aug 2025 11:32AM UTC
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NightCucco on Chapter 9 Tue 29 Jul 2025 06:43PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 9 Tue 29 Jul 2025 09:12PM UTC
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NightCucco on Chapter 9 Tue 29 Jul 2025 10:02PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 9 Tue 29 Jul 2025 10:42PM UTC
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NightCucco on Chapter 9 Wed 30 Jul 2025 12:18AM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 9 Wed 30 Jul 2025 01:19AM UTC
Last Edited Wed 30 Jul 2025 01:21AM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 9 Fri 22 Aug 2025 04:41PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 9 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:11PM UTC
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Basiccogs on Chapter 10 Sat 09 Aug 2025 04:38PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 10 Sat 09 Aug 2025 10:32PM UTC
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Basiccogs on Chapter 10 Tue 12 Aug 2025 01:56PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 12 Aug 2025 01:57PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 10 Tue 12 Aug 2025 04:14PM UTC
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Basiccogs on Chapter 10 Tue 12 Aug 2025 06:51PM UTC
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CrimsonLoftwing on Chapter 10 Fri 22 Aug 2025 04:43PM UTC
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KosmosTheUnderworlder on Chapter 10 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:13PM UTC
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