Take a Bite of Me

by somthebomb

Summary:

Vampire Jamilton AU where Alex is a nerd obsessed with vampires about them and Thomas just so happens to be one. They cross paths and Alexander is crazy . Thomas is incredibly pissed off from Hamilton while Alex thinks he’s really interesting and cool. He has what he calls a “tiny” crush on Jefferson.

 

I left a comment on a tiktok edit jokingly saying I would write a work about this and now I am. Fun.

Notes:

i hope this is good enough for you greyintheback

Chapter 1

Alexander Hamilton had a knack.

“A knack for something that would probably drink you whole.” His friends would say, but he knew better. He knew there was at least one vampire in this world, who didn’t want someone just for drinking their blood.

He thought what it would be like — getting to know and see and touch a vampire. Their fangs were the most interesting part to him. 

He also heard about that makeshift watch they would wear to control their urges. Scary, if you ask him. Wouldn’t that feel like your left hand getting cut off? I mean, your right hand can do more, but the left-

He always visited his favorite library in Times Square each week just to find out more about these fascinating creatures.

Thomas Jefferson was the only vampire left in his family tree. Moving to Arizona was a stupid idea.

Before his mother passed, she had two wishes for him.

“Make more of us. Don’t get caught.” 

Weird, right?

Then she died.

Present

Thomas groaned as he walked through New York. It was too much here, overstimulating, really.

He had a layover in Seabrook a couple of days before arriving to NYC, and his friend — Zed — had given him a watch to control his vampire instincts.

“Now, this won’t get rid of your fangs — but it replaces your blood cravings with water.” 

“So I’ll still look the same but my insides act like human?”

Zed looked a bit weirded out with Thomas’s wording.

“Y-yeah, basically…” 

He strapped the watch onto the vampire’s wrist. 

“Nice.”

That watch was now bedazzled to his liking, sliver with accents of a fancy purple. 

He had wandered around Times Square a bit more before coming to a halt.

I guess the people here do read, after all.

Walking into the library, the smell of old wood came to him.

“Mmm…” 

He waltzed around before turning to a table, seeing a guy sat down, reading a book about?…

Oh.

Now, before the watches, Thomas had always been noticed by the normals; either them fascinated or wanting him to take a bite out of him. But he had never seen somebody read about his own species.

He decided to sit next to him, unknown to the fact that he was about to regret it. Propping his hand up, he rolled his eyes to get a good idea of the library’s contents.

The man stayed immersed in his National Geographic book, eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

Thomas’s hand hurt from propping it, so he put it down, accidentally slamming it. Little did he know, that was going to be the worst and best decision he’d ever made.

The guy glanced at his hand for a second before going back to his book. But then he did a double take, opened his mouth in shock, and pretty soon- 

“Do you drink blood. How does the sunlight affect your day to day life. This is so amazing, CHICKAPLOW!” The man — who he knew now was named Alex — was bombarding him with questions.

“The watch stops me and I move from here to the Southern Hemisphere to cope with it. Can I leave now?” 

Thomas didn’t want to admit it, but he actually enjoyed the attention. For the first few minutes, at least. After that, he was slowly getting pissed off by the minute. Maybe this is why humans hated men so much. 

“Ok, last question, what’s your name?” 

“Fuck.”

Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“Oh..what’s your last name?”

“You.”

“Wha-“

“Fuck you. I’m leaving, please stay away from me.”

“WHAT-wait! I wanna ask you more tomorrow.”

“Suck my dick, bitch, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“BUT—“ He got cut off by the bells of the library ringing. 

Alexander wasn’t going to just “let this go”, he’d just found a VAMPIRE!! A REAL one, too! 

Thomas was beyond pissed by now. How they didn’t get a noise complaint beat him.  

“W-wait! Stop, STOP!” 

Alex ran with his skimpy little legs, getting through the people on the streets.

“Laalalla, I can’t hear you!”

“Oh, can you guys tune out sound, too? So coo-“

“IT’S A FUCKING EXPRESSION. Not everything is about me and my vampireness, now can you just please LEAVE ME ALONE.” Thomas was practically pleading to this stranger at this point. 

If he wasn’t going to be the death of him, he should’ve gotten a survival award or something. 

Except his achievement was escaping a nerdy short dude with no sense of personal space or boundaries and way too much energy. 

“Let me buy you dinner.” Alex went to the last resort. 

Thomas stopped in his tracks and turned around, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you asking me on a date?-“

 “NO-no! Of course not I-I just—ln question 48, you said you didn’t have any food to eat, so I wanted to take you out to eat..if you were ok with that..”

“Oh, so NOW you’re setting boundaries!?!?’ And not when you were fucking asking me a billion questions in that stuffy library. I didn’t even get a PISS break! If you think I want to go out and eat shitty food paid with your snot covered dollar bills, then you’d be insanely-“

Thomas’s stomach made a gurgling sound — the type that was only heard in cartoons. 

Thomas buried his head in his hands before looking back up, exasperated.

“Fine. But if the food sucks, I will throw my watch out and drink you to flesh and bones myself.”

Alexander squeed as he dragged Thomas in the direction he was facing, skipping like a schoolgirl.

Thomas rolled his eyes.

It’s only for the food, nothing else. He reassured himself. Wait, why did he need to be reassured? 

After a grueling 20 minutes of walking, they’d finally arrived to the diner.

Tom’s Diner — is what it was called.

The pair sits down at the counter, ordering their food. 

The man behind the counter only filled up Alexander’s coffee cup halfway — and before Alexander could do the thing he’s best at — he’d gotten ignored by the waiter looking out the window, clearly lovingly emerged. 

“Bitch..” Alex muttered, drinking his coffee.

“Hey, maybe it’s for the greater good. It’ll make you less crazy.” Thomas chuckled, pointing his index finger toward his head and spinning it around. 

“Can’t argue with that.” 

“Whattt, Alexander, not being able to argue? You’ve been at it since you met me FIVE hours ago.”

“That’s only cause you wouldn’t sit still! I still had twenty more to finish!!” Alexander slammed his coffee cup, turning toward the man.

“I HAD TO PISS!” Thomas yelled, too much too loud, getting looks from the restaurant. An elderly couple shook their heads while whispering something inaudible; although the newspaper in their hand could spell it out for them.

How to stop sodomy in your community!

“Gyulp..” Alexander nervously swallowed, hands in lap and shoulders curled up.

There was a second of an extremely awkward quietude before someone muttered whatever and got back to their stuff. Alexander exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

“Damn, we’ve just met and people are already turning heads because of you. Maybe I should use you at my debates.” Alexander snickered, looking him up and down.

Thomas felt a weird tingle in his body before laughing back.

“Maybe’s your key word here.”

Chapter 2

Summary:

sorry this is so short, i have theater everyday now so my posts might be a bit delayed for all of my stories sorry! 😣

The diner surprisingly didn't suck, and although the vampire would never admit it - he had a great time. The food had made it tolerable, of course,  but when Alex wasn't being a total weirdo, things weren't too shabby. 

 

Ok, what the hell am I thinking!?! Some guy just infiltrates my day and buys me dinner out of pity that he created and now I’m expected to like him???

Wait.

Nobody’s expecting anything from me.

 

Thomas stared at the ceiling and sighed, contemplating his existence as one does. He drummed his fingers on his stomach.

He craned his head slightly and turned left, grabbing his phone.

It’s still 8 in California. Zed should be awake.

 

”Hell no!” John exclaimed, jumping out of the loveseat like a monkey. 

“It’s true,” Alex argued back, “I saw the watch myself.”

“What the fuck?..” Peggy muttered, laughing. 

As soon as the Caribbean boy got home, Alexander rushed to tell all of his friends about what happened, minus Eliza due to her getting take-out. 

 

…

 

“We really need to limit the amount of vampire movies you watch, this is getting out of control-“ Hercules got cut off by Alexander rambling for another three minutes.

“Ok — OK-LISTEN! ” Lafayette pierced through, his accent clear as day.

“Alex, mon ami. If this whole “vampire” thing is for real, we should be able to meet him at least.”

Alexander immediately perked up.

“ What!?! I can’t do that!”

“Why not?” John teased. “He’s real after all, right? We wanna see this too.”

“He um-kinda…dislikes me…”

 

Silence. 

 

“Then how the fuck did you get him to go to dinner with you?-“ Peggy blurted.

“It’s — argh — let me explain that part.” 

He only had told the group about the part where he met and went to dinner with him — not the part where the vampire screamed at him for needing to piss or the part where he fangirled him into coming to dinner with him. He even admitted to the boundaries part, with some persuasion from Peggy.

 

..

 

Angelica was the once who broke the silence.

 

“ You trapped him like a bird in a cage at that library, so you’re saying once you emancipated him and he hadn’t eaten in so long due to you keeping him in there for over three hours, you offered him to eat dinner with your weird fangirl charm?” 

 

“Yyess….not my proudest moment.”

“ No fucking shit !” John yelled from the bathroom.

“Although you’re crazy, have no boundaries, and annoying as shit — that was actually pretty smart.”

 

“ Thanks? I don’t know if that’s a compliment or what.”

 

“It’s not praise.” She smiled and gracefully walked away as Eliza rang the bell.

 

“There’s my cue.”

 

 

“Oh my gosh, that’s hella weird man, I’m so sorry. I remember a guy doing that to me too and I hated it. ” Zed empathized with Thomas over the line.

“Yeah, I know. Can I tell you something?”

“Hit me.”

“He was actually kind of cute.”

 

 

 

“Oh! Um, nice! I-I gotta go, uh, walk my…girlfriend…so I’ll talk to you later! Bye!…”

 

The phone buzzed in disapproval as the zombie hung up.

Thomas again stared dreamily at his ceiling, spaced out. His phone fell out of his left hand from his position on the edge of the bed.

 

“Alexander Hamilton.”

 

His eyes widen as he realized.

 

“Oh shit.”

 

 

Chapter 3

Summary:

another short chapter..😃

 

Alexander paced around Walmart, stressing.

 

How am I supposed to get Thomas to see my friends!?! This is so so bad…

 

He tried to think to his best ability, clenching his eyes closed.

 

“Think, Alex, think!”

 

He ended up in the workout aisle, grabbing a weight and putting it in his left hand. Although he didn’t look like it, Alexander did exercise, and he did it frequently. He grasped onto the fifteen pounder, effortlessly picking it up and waving it up and down. The weight had a non-sweat grip, which was great for his sweaty palms. 

 

As he did curls on one arm, he grabbed one for his right and started doing the same process on the other side.

 

 

Thomas waltzed around Walmart, looking for the fitness section. His 10 pounders weren’t cutting it anymore. 

 

He found an employee who had his answer, and got directions.

 

 

As Alexander continued to do weights at the end of the aisle, he found a curly man in his proximity. 

 

That couldn’t be…Thomas!?!-

 

He almost dropped his weight as Thomas made his way right in front of him. 

 

 

Thomas felt dread wash over him as he locked eyes with the guy who wouldn’t let him piss, then bought him dinner, and made Thomas go so crazy that his own best friend made an excuse to stop talking to him. 

 

I mean, it was only for that one night, but still!!!

 

Thomas shakily sighed as they locked eyes, his chest rising.

 

Thomas was surprisingly the first one to speak up.

 

 

“Hi..” 

 

He sheepishly waved at Alexander. 

 

I could just leave right now! What am I doing still waiting around this idiot!?!

 

“Hey..” Alexander huffed, starting to smile.

 

“Uh.” 

 

“I… Didn’t know you lift!..” Thomas blurted, waving his left hand in the air.

 

Alexander swallowed as he looked down.

 

“Yeah..  -Yeah, I do. Use my apartments gym.” He politely nodded, pressing the weights to his sides.

 

“How many pounds is that?” 

 

“Fifteen, why?” 

 

Thomas put his finger to his lip with widened eyes. 

 

“Mm..That’s, nice..”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How many pounds were you gonna get?” 

 

 

It was a simple question, really. But Thomas couldn’t admit that he lifts lighter weights than the annoying cute nerd. 

 

So he lied.

 

“Same as you. Fifteen.”

 

“Ah, nice.”

 

Alexander put the weights back on the rack and stopped to check Thomas out.

 

“Wow.” 

 

Thomas was feeling creeped out, but he didn’t mind it. 

 

Why is he so normal? Is he on drugs?..

 

Arghhh, I can’t remember what I was going to ask him! This is taking all of the fangirl out of me…

 

“I’m-Gonna go buy some other stuff..” Thomas backed away, thumb pointing at the direction he was going in before speeding off.  

 

 

 

 

*Squee!!* Alexander beamed brightly at he jumped up a couple times before skipping around out the aisle and almost bumping into a child.

 

 

Ohohohohohomygogododood that was soo cool!!! He’s so cool!!’ Nad hot!!!

 

Alexander stopped as he realized what he needed from him.

 

Wait. The thing.

 

***

“No! Just because I barely tolerated your weird ass doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate your friends too!” Thomas was practically yelling at this point. He thought Alexander went back to normal when he saw him in the weights aisle. 

 

I guess he just had a mood swing. Maybe he has a man period…do those exist?

 

 

The vampire snapped out of his trance before continuing.

 

“No! I’m not fucking doing that!”

 

Alexander tried to open his mouth, but Thomas beat him.

 

“And no, you cannot buy me food every time you want something.”

 

Alexander looked torn before taking a second to think.

 

 

“What if I paid you.” 

 

 

Alexander put a finger up to stop Thomas from jabbing in any further. 

 

“Hear me out! It could be like a gig, you go out with my friends and…”

 

Alexander pulled out a tiny leather black bag and looked around prior to handing it to the vampire.

 

“I have thirty bucks that I’ve socked away. Per half an hour.”

 

…

 

“How long?” 

 

“Three hours.”

 

Thomas thought. Hard. Did the math and everything.

 

 

“No.”

 

 

The last thing he remembered was Alexander spraying a bottle with a yellow color on a washcloth and then slapping it on his face.

 

 

 

Notes:

i hope you get the end 👉👈

Chapter 4

Summary:

Gay + Gay side plot

Notes:

Drunk scene Alex smiles like he does in story of tonight when he shows off his ring and Hercules like touches him you know what i’m talking about yeah yeah yeah..

I guess this story needed at least one shitty chapter. And this was it.

It depends on how you view “shitty writing.” to be honest, i mean i don’t have any crazy grammatical issues or anything, it’s just the way i wrote it that irks me. but i don’t wanna go back and restart so..

I PROMISE it will get better from here, I just needed to carve out all the hole to shoot the balls in.. heheh you get it… like golfing….❤️‍🩹

writers block got to me if you couldn’t tell ..

Thomas woke up, opening his eyes. He felt groggy, but fully rested. He stared up at the ceiling, the warmth of the linen light blinding his eyes. He rubbed his eyes until he saw spots, shifting around in the plushy bed. 

Where am I? Was all he could think, before footsteps sounded the room. 

“I see you’ve woken up.”

Thomas propped himself up with his hands behind his back, sinking into the bed. Turning his head, he saw Alexander with his arms crossed.

 

Silence.

 

Thomas jumped out of bed, voice scorching throughout the bedroom.

 

“What. The. FUCK!-Is wrong with you!!!”

“Uh-“

”I seriously cannot believe you! You are the absolute worst! You ask me a shit ton of questions, don’t let me piss, buy me dinner and then manipulate me into thinking you were normal with your menstrual cycle, then kidnap me with Naptime!” 

Alexander stood there, looking bewildered as can be.

 

“Y-you..”

 

”You think I was the one who kidnapped you!?!” Alexander exclaimed, his greasy ahh hair swinging forcibly as he arched his body forward and cupped his hand outward, pointing to himself. 

 

Thomas gaped and scoffed in disbelief, flailing his arms around laterally.

 

“What the fuck do you think!?” 

Now it was Alexander’s turn to scoff, rolling his eyes before yelling violently at the vampire.

 

”I SAVED YOU, BITCH! A hunk of a dude came up to you, suffocated you with that illegal liquid, and then proceeded to lift you up with one hand right in fucking front of me!!”

Thomas stared with those wide, doe eyes, ones that Alexander could not be-

 

Stop it brain!!! I can’t do this right now!!! . You’re mad at him. He’s hysteric at you. Later. 

 

Gosh, I hate being a dude sometimes. At least the ladies can control when they feel perverted..

 

”W-what?” He asked, voice as innocent and clueless as his eyes, which were now slowly filling up with tears.

 

Alex scrunched his nose up, practically hissing at the vampire.

“You heard me,” 

 

“Oh.” Thomas dropped his hands to his side, deflating.

 

”Mmyeah.” 

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

”It’s ok. I’m sorry, too.”

 

 

?

 

”Why?” 

 

“Because I made you feel unsafe. And I promise, I swear — if you even still want to be friends — that I will try my best to make you feel so much better than that.”

 

Thomas just stood there, intaking this information in.

 

”Oh.”

 

“So?”

 

”So what?”

 

”Whats happening now?”

”I don’t know! I mean, what do you usually do when you save someone’s life?”

 

”I don’t! I never have!!” Thomas put his hands up cowardly, walking to Alexander’s kitchen of which his didn’t know the location of yet.

 

”I thought you vampires were like secret superheroes or something!” Alexander loudly mused, throwing his hands up as he followed Thomas.

“Oh yeah well that’s one thing your little National Geographic books got wrong.”

 “Are you kidding me!” Alexander abruptly stopped, stomping on the floor.

 

“I’ll have you know that I don’t read National Geographic! They think things like you don’t even exist—Youknaowthat”

Alex kept talking, driving Thomas insane.

 

This bitch never shuts up, does he?

 

***

 

”Damn, that’s crazy..” John muttered, looking through Lafayette’s scrapbook. 

Who would’ve known he was into spies?

 

Suddenly, a familiar voice scorched through the apartment, bouncing off the walls.

 

“I’m home!!”

 

“Shit!” John panicked, scrambling to put away the book. He quickly yet carefully stored the book underneath Lafayette’s pile of books and documents. 

 

‘That’s where I found it, right?-Whatever, who cares.’

 

After doing a double-take, John ran out the Frenchman’s room, scurrying to the kitchen and swiftly sliding on the floor with his socks, steadying himself with the countertop.

“Hey John!” Hercules exclaimed, waving his hand in the air.

 

”Hey Hercules!..” John replied, trying to match Mulligan’s tone, awkwardly waving back — failing miserably.

 

”I bought this amazing ice cream cake pie, you wanna try?” Hercules asked, 

 

”Oh, sure! Haha…” 

 

Hercules happily grabbed the ice cream cake out of the bag and popped open the top, revealing a delicious ice cream chocolate pie. 

“Woah…” John muttered, caressing the top of the surprisingly still-cold pie. He grabbed a spoon for him and his spy friend to start eating.

“I mean, not that you can’t buy pies whenever you want — I know we have free will obviously — but…Why did you buy this?”

 

Hercules smiled as he chewed the cold pie.

 

”Mm…” 

 

Swallowing noises.

 

”It’s for Gilbert! I bought another one, but that one will be sent if I like this for him, which I do!”

 

John just stood there, eyebrows up with an awkward smile.

 

”Oh! Fun..that’s nice!..” John said, tilting his body as he took another piece of pie out with his spoon.

 

“Yeah!” Hercules replied a little too loud, eyes deeply invested in the pie.

 

He looked up at John, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

”Why, do you not like it?…”

 

“NO-No! I think Lafayette will love it..”

 

”OK, Great!!! Ooh, I’m so excited to see how he reacts to this!…” Hercules said, throwing his spoon in the sink, snatching the cake like a champ, and skipping off into the distance (of their tiny apartment hallway).

 

“Is that what love does to you?..”

 

“What about love?”

 

A thick accent scared the Living Daylights out of John. He winced, squeezing his eyes shut before taking a deep breath and opening them back open to turn around gracefully.

 

”Hey Lafayette!” John said, turning around ominously with a creepy smile.

 

Lafayette didn’t seem to notice, as he placed down his bag and skipped over to wash his hands.

 

“So, what were you saying..” Lafayette began, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

John mused, looking off into the distance before realizing what Lafayette had said.

 

”Oh! Yeah..heh. Uhm, it’s nothing!” John lied, sneaking behind Lafayette.

 

“Mm, that’s what they all say..”

 

John turned serious, face dropping and all.

 

”No seriously, it’s nothing.” 

 

Lafayette took that as his cue to not tease more and left the matter alone.

 

***

Thomas stared up at the ceiling, Alexander in his arms. 

 

They talked. For a long time. About everything.

 

Plus drunk.

 

And the brat got tired. 

 

Of course, now calling him a brat meant nothing bad to Thomas. Just seen to him as a playful insult.

 

However, Thomas hoped Alexander would never know that. That he was slowly opening his doors to the weirdo that would surely take his shot and slide right through them.

 

He was still fucking annoying. Not a registered offender, but very annoying.

 

At least Alex’s hair wasn’t greasy. Thomas could finally run his fingers through it without taking it out and looking like he just stuck it in a fast food restaurant’s kitchen.

He didn’t know why he was so happy to touch the guy who didn’t let him pee for 5 hours straight’s hair, but he forgot about practicality and let himself enjoy this moment.

So the vampire sighed, stroking the Yapper’s hair for absolutely no reason. Not because it feels nice. Nope, no way.

 

Alex stirred, looking up at Thomas.

He smiled like he was drunk — probably cause he was —  and put his hands on his head and on top of Thomas’s.

 

“Woah..heheheheheh…” He giggled, still wearing that dopey grin.

 

“Y’know,,, I really,,like you.” Alexander continued.

 

”Yeah, You’ve made that extremely apparent.”

 

”Like as a friend..”

 

..

 

“Wow, I could’ve never guessed.” Thomas said, albeit Alexander truly couldn’t tell whether or not there was sarcasm in his tone or not

 

”But do you?”

 

“Do I what?”

 

”Like me? As a friend?”

 

”Yeah. Just friends.” 

 

“That’s nice.”

 

..

 

”Do you wanna go out to eat in a bit?” 

 

”Yesh, I’m fucking starving, human. In a few minutes..”

 

Alexander chuckled through the sinking feeling in his stomach as he stared at the ceiling fan, hands on his stomach.

 

He played that pretty smoothly, right?

 

”Nope. No he didn’t,” Lafayette seethed, looking at the pile of documents in which he found his scrapbook with him and Hercules. 

 

He always placed it under his bed. 

 

“He played that horribly.”

 

Lafayette cleared his throat, taking a deep breath.

 

 

“JOHN!”