Chapter Text
Hope is a most curious concept. It is something that has evaded me for much of my life. Of course, I had never been a stranger to longing, yearning, and wanting. It’s much different to actually have an expectation of getting what you want. In my seventeen years of life, I should have learned my lesson. I never get what I want. My heart’s desire will always be just a little out of reach.
Yet somehow, little strands of hope seem to still furl within me, wispish and delicate like spider webs. Every so often, I feel the tug of this sensation, when I catch myself dreaming. It never takes long before reality comes crashing in.
I suppose I still haven’t fully learned from my mistakes, because despite my logic and reasoning, I walk into my first day of my senior year with the expectation of greatness. I should have warned myself to expect this strand to break, to morph instead into a burning pit of pain and anger within my stomach.
Shiz Preparatory Academy is the finest secondary school within all of Oz itself. SPA is a centuries old institute with the greatest collection of research, facilities and opportunities that the world has to offer. Most graduates of SPA earn admittance to Shiz University, the most esteemed college known. Many of these graduates go on to become influential members of research, business, politics, and society as a whole.
Unfortunately, SPA is still a high school.
With the knowledge of the world at our fingertips, SPA is filled with judgemental, small-minded, and ignorant high schoolers.
I roll my eyes as I walk past them into the girl’s Shower Chamber. It is perhaps my least favourite place on campus. As with the rest of campus, the room itself is very nicely designed. It is a large square room that is covered ceiling to floor in matching jade-coloured tiles. Windows are set high into the walls, blocking the view of the outside, but allowing light to enter. Sculpted pillars and benches mark the left side of the room. Iconography of cherubs adorn the carved stone.
The other half of the room consists of twelve identical shower blocks, each divided by a tiled half-wall, not quite tall enough to hide behind. There are no doors, no curtains, and no privacy. None of the other girls mind of course. After our mandatory physical education lesson, my peers rush in and shower shamelessly, only worrying so much about having time to find their friends before the Dining Hall opens for lunch.
My peers are not green though.
As per every physical education lesson I have had in my four years at SPA, I wait diligently until the showers clear out before I so much as remove my glasses. I receive enough taunts, stares and comments about my complexion without needing to show people more skin than necessary.
When the final students leave the showers, I make my way to the furthest stall at the end of the line. I have created quite the system. I have my clean clothes – simple slacks and a buttoned shirt – folded neatly in a pile. I place them beside the shower, just out of reach of the water, and I hang my towel within reaching distance. I undress and take my glasses off before climbing into the shower.
The affair is as quick as I can make it. All I want to do is wash off any perspiration from my exercises, and dress as quickly as possible to return to the Library. Unfortunately, I can sense the presence of the room is wrong.
I hear a shuffle, footsteps and a giggle. I snap my eyes open, and they sting from soap. Without my glasses, everything is a blur. All I can make out are figures rushing around the wall divider. I quickly turn the water off and reach for my towel.
It isn’t there. Neither are my clothes.
I can feel a sort of tension build up within me. I curse myself internally. What had I expected? To have a peaceful first day back? To actually enjoy myself and focus on my learning without unnecessary intrusions?
I can feel my magic starting to bubble stronger within me. Unlike my spider-web strings of hope I sometimes experience, my magic courses through me like raging waters. I can feel the tingling sensations build within my very skin.
I take a breath.
What I certainly do not need for my first day back is to have another magical explosion. Madame Morrible would be most displeased with that. I close my eyes and concentrate my mind. Like twisting a wrench over a bolt, I try to tighten down my anger and to hold off the magical pressure building up.
Still soaking wet, I return to the other side of the shower room. I glance quickly for anything to cover me up. If only I could succeed at conjurations! Morrible had said that we would start those this year. I clench my fists. The chimes of the bells sound from the Clock Tower. They echo across the campus, and a swell of noise begins as students start filing out to lunch break.
I notice a spare towel hanging on one of those ornate stone hooks, carved out of the pillars themselves. Someone has left it behind. When I reach out to touch it, it is still damp. I groan internally as I wrap the towel around my body. When holding it over my chest, it only reaches a little down my thighs. Hardly modest at all.
Bracing myself, I gently open the door for the shower room. It opens directly into one of the busier hallways. One quick peak and I can see hoards of students rushing by to make their way to the dining hall. I still can barely see, and everything appears to be a blur of colours.
Who has taken my clothes? Where are they?
As I am trying to think of a plan, a voice calls out. I cannot help but roll my eyes at the familiarity.
“What’s the matter green bean? Are you looking for your shell?” Avaric Tenmeadows calls out.
I can feel that surge of magic again, and I will it down.
“Green beans don’t have shells, they have pods. Where are my clothes?” I demand.
With still only my face peaking out from behind the doorway, I notice people start to stop and watch, realising that something is happening.
“Hmm,” Avaric replies, pretending to ponder. “Well, it seems that they may have been mistaken for rags. You might want to try the pool.”
I pull back into the locker room, letting the door shut. I put my face in my hands. Had they really taken my clothes and thrown them in the pool? The pool is on the other side of campus and would require walking in very public places to get there.
Again, I wish that I could perform a conjuring spell.
The door swings open, and Avaric is there. With the shock of him, I pull the towel tighter around my body. As I am distracted, he grabs me roughly by my upper arm and swings me. I stumble out into the hallway, and one of Avaric’s friends blocks the door.
I can do nothing but desperately cling into the towel.
People were most definitely stopping and staring now. Laughter starts ringing out down the hallway at the sight of me stranded and essentially naked.
“The question is if you’re green the whole way down.” Avaric sneers. His friends, and then the crowd laugh along. I can feel myself start to blush along my cheeks as fury and magic course through me.
Avaric snatches at the towel. I am quick enough to keep a hold on it, but the towel flutters open for just the briefest second. It’s long enough for everyone to catch a glimpse. Roars of laughter surround me as Avaric goes to snatch again.
I reach my hand out instinctively, and Avaric is thrown back down the hallway. He takes out three observing first years, who crumble into a heap beneath him. Avaric lands about five metres down the hallway, sprawled out on the ground. After a loud ‘oomph’, Avaric sits up and reaches to rub the back of his head.
The laughter quickly changes into gasps and mutterings. It has been over a year since I had last lost control of my magic in front of anyone. I desperately try to hold the magic back. I know that if I let it release, I could force Avaric through the stained-glass windows and toss him across the beautifully manicured lawns.
A clap of thunder hits the hallway. Everyone is silenced at once. The hallway parts as an immense gust of wind blows down. The wind is accompanied by Headmistress Madame Morrible. I can feel my own magic start to dissipate as a sense of relief washes over me. I know now that I am saved.
“What’s going on here?” She demands, her voice carries across the hallway with power.
“My clothes were stolen.” I reply quickly.
Morrible looks me down with a critical eye and then brandishes her wand – a thick and heavy poker made from iron. One incantation later, and my towel has transformed into plain black slacks and a black buttoned shirt. They are simple clothes, and as I shift, I can feel that shoes, underwear, and socks had not been conjured.
I still release my breath with relief now that I am clothed.
“This is the lunch session. No lingering in hallways is permitted.” Morrible commanded. In a flash, the crowd had dispersed in all directions.
“You come with me.” Morrible says shortly. “You get up and stop moaning!”
Morrible snaps her fingers at Avaric, who is pulled to his feet by his companions.
I follow Morrible through to the Administration Building, barefoot, and to her office. I am not daunted by this room, as I have spent enough time in it. As Headmistress, Morrible has the nicest office in the campus. It is placed high up on the fourth floor of the main building. It sits directly below the Clock Tower. The bell chimes of music that signal lessons shake the walls with vibrations each time they sound.
As I take my usual seat in the hard wooden chair across from Morrible’s colossal desk, my eyes are drawn towards the tapestry on the wall. I often look at the tapestry in this room. There is a beautiful image of the Wizard himself. He is standing proudly with his arms out, as below him different people engage in academic work. Each person represents a main field of study offered by Shiz University, and therefore, SPA. I glance at the stitched rendition of a woman holding a harp – representative of music – she is the only one who seems to be genuinely smiling in the image.
“Another magical outburst?” Morrible says shortly as she sits behind her desk.
I have mixed feelings for Madame Morrible. On one hand, she is an extremely strict, powerful and intimidating presence. On the other hand, she is the only person in the world who had given me any kind of opportunity for myself. Without her, I wouldn’t even have a spider web strand of hope within me.
Morrible stares closely at me. She is the image of the Emerald City elite. She is a tall, slender woman, with high cheekbones, and sharp almond-shaped eyes. Though her hair is now a mottled dark grey, it is clear that it was pitch black in her youth.
“Some girls had walked into the Shower Chamber while I was bathing and stole my clothes. Master Tenmeadows pulled me out and tried to pull the towel off me.” I reply, albeit somewhat defensively. I cannot help but feel a secondary pain of humiliation, not just about the joke, but because of my loss of magical control.
“I understand that it was a difficult situation.” Morrible says slowly. I cannot help but gape at her. She is not generally known to be understanding.
“What he did was a very unbecoming act. I will enforce an athletic suspension on Master Tenmeadows, and he will be removed from the polo team for this semester.” She continues definitively.
“He ought to be expelled.” I reply firmly. My face is still hot and flushed from my anger.
“He is the future Margreave of Tenmeadows.” Morrible says simply.
I sigh and look back to the tapestry.
“What about the girls who stole my clothes?” I ask, trying not to sound demanding.
“Who were they?” Morrible questions.
“I couldn’t see without my glasses.” I say. “It’s obvious though. It’s Upland and her adherents.”
I look back to Morrible and her eyes are narrowed at me.
“Do you have any evidence of Miss Upland’s involvement?” She asks.
“No,” I said, my magic starting to bubble up again. “I know it’s her though. It’s always her.”
“Miss Thropp.” Morrible says shortly. “This is your fourth year at Shiz Preparatory. In this time, how many accusations have you made against Miss Upland?”
“Well…” I start.
“And how many times has there been any evidence that she has been guilty?” Morrible continues. I cast my head down.
“That’s because she never gets her own hands dirty.” I say, my voice rising slightly. This is a conversation that I have had with Morrible many times. “She always gets one of her underlings to do the actual dirty work – Pfannee and Shenshen.”
I purposefully exclude Milla’s name.
“I don’t like her either.” Morrible said with certainty. “However, I saw with my own eyes what Master Tenmeadows did. I can punish him, but I cannot punish her. If you find evidence, we can revisit this conversation.”
I catch the finality of her tone, and I know that I am about to be dismissed. I nod in reluctant agreement, and I rise from my chair.
“Madame Morrible?” I ask finally. She nods. “I would like to be exempt from physical education for the remainder of this year.”
I expect her to refuse, to explain the sanctity of the beloved syllabus. Instead, she nods her head briefly.
“I agree Miss Thropp. I will change your schedule to remove physical education.” I beam at this. “I will be replacing these lessons with additional sorcery practice. This is your final year before you start at Shiz. I am expecting significant improvements within you.”
I nod again and go to exist her office. As I close the door behind me, my eyes are caught once again on the Wizard within his tapestry.
As bad as high school is, I can feel that string of hope continues to pluck inside me.