Chapter Text
There was something incredibly nauseating in hearing your own nose being dislocated by the fist of this random guy that looked three years younger than him - not that it mattered how old the guy was, really, it just added insult to injury. Though nausea wasn’t exactly Lando’s biggest problem at that moment. Neither were the copious amounts of blood pouring down his face. It wasn’t even the man he had been trying to stop from mugging the old lady peacefully walking down the New York streets as if it were the safest place in the world. No. Norris had a bigger problem: how the fuck was he supposed to explain that to his mother?
It was a recurring situation in his life: the lies, the bloodied face, the drenched Spider-Man clothes. Honestly, Lando had been wasting half of his savings in laundromats just to avoid answering untimely questions about his favorite pastime.
Alright, favorite was a huge exaggeration, and though he was a big fan of those - more so lately, when Oscar would roll his eyes at him every time he said something precisely absurd, and it wasn’t that Lando did it just to hear his best friend correct him in that cute accent but… yeah, okay, that was exactly why he did it. Either way, kicking a fourteen-year-old’s ass that looked was not, unfortunately, Norris’s favorite hobby, but no one had asked him if he wanted to be bitten by a weird spider and have his life - and body, what was up with the webs, anyway? - completely changed. He wasn’t yet sure if it had been for the better, though it certainly made him happier to skip classes for a bigger purpose. Oscar didn’t like that in the least, constantly insisting that the last year of high school was important for their future, but he didn’t know where Norris disappeared to. Piastri also didn’t know Lando was hardly worried about college when he was probably going to die falling from a building when the webs gave out on him.
Not that he was about to tell him that.
Plus, he should absolutely not be thinking about Oscar Piastri while having his ass handed to him. Goddamit, what was up with the kids these days? Did everyone hit the gym or…? Lando lost his patience right around the time he tried to pull off his mask; he got it, the big gossip flying around the city was Who was Spider-Man? But, really? Right then?
When the kid was grimacing up at him with both hands stuck in a brick wall, Lando sighed, ‘Really, man? An old lady? Couldn’t you be less cliché?’ He was already down the block, making his way home, the suit hidden in his backpack, when he got a glimpse of his face in a storefront.
Oh. It was bad. Of course, it hurt like a bitch, but Lando liked to think that he had a higher tolerance to pain than most people. Was that even a spider thing? God, he should really start researching that kind of stuff, he was a bad superhero. Though, in all truthfulness, he would not write his name under the category anyway.
So. He couldn’t go home. Not when his mother had been very suspicious of him lately. So Lando had forgotten to lock his door once and she had walked in on him trying to clean a wound on his neck. Thankfully, he covered it with his hand quickly, Cisca hadn’t seen the blood, or, at least, he didn’t think she had. She had muttered something under her breath right before leaving him be, though, ever since then, his mother had been paying close attention every time he left the house. Coming back with his nose oozing blood out like that didn’t sound too smart.
Instead, he climbed the firescape he knew nearly as well as his own, knocking on the window for a solid minute before Oscar appeared in front of him, looking sleepy, a confused expression on his face.
Thankfully, he opened the window and Lando stumbled forward, head spinning a bit from the pain. Goddamit, that hurt like a bitch.
‘Mate, how the fuck did you get there?’ Oscar whispered, a clear sign his mother was home. Yeah, Lando wouldn’t like to answer to Nicole either, and not only because she knew Cisca quite well, but more so because that woman was too smart for her own sake.
‘Unimportant. I need you to put my nose back in place.’
Oscar’s eyes bulged as he finally took in the bloodied state of his friend’s face. He reached forward and Lando stepped back, desperately shaking his head. Usually, he had no qualms at all about having Piastri’s hands all over him - they were, after all, the best of friends - but the mere thought of those lean fingers touching his nose made him nauseous. Oh, there it was again. That time, it was Lando’s biggest problem.
Nice.
‘I– No?’ Oscar tried. ‘You need a doctor, Lando. The hospital. Wow, that looks… bad.’
Lando scrunched his nose in annoyance and nearly passed out from the shard of pain that shot through him. When he came to, he was sitting on the floor, and Oscar’s face was very close to his, with a calculating expression.
He shook his head, ‘No doctors. Plus, you’re like, great in lab.’ Oscar’s mouth fell open right before he snapped it shut. He took a big gulp of air and rolled his eyes, as if asking for patience. Lando had no time for patience. ‘Please, Osc. Just– Do it. It’s hurting.’
‘Of course it’s hurting! You dislocated that!’ He hissed.
Lando smiled, pleased, ‘See? You know so much about this. Come on, come on, come on, do it, do it, do it, do it–’
‘Alright!’ Oscar grunted, snapping Norris’s nose back into place in a second. His vision blacked out and he let out a very pathetic screech. The next thing he was aware of was Oscar shaking his shoulders repeatedly and Nicole Piastri knocking desperately on the door, calling out his name.
‘Under the bed. Now, Norris,’ Oscar ordered, and because he wasn’t too sure if he could move, Piastri pushed him there. Lando was content in just closing his eyes and breathing normally for a while, the lingering pain was nothing close to what it had been seconds before, but he was still a bit dizzy. ‘Hi, Mum,’ he heard Oscar’s voice echoing in the room.
‘Oscar. I heard a scream. Are you okay?’ Nicole sounded worried - which, naturally, was very bad. Worse yet when Oscar was knowingly a terrible liar. Usually, when bullshit was needed, Lando was the one called.
‘Oh, yes. Fine. Completely fine.’
Lando cringed.
‘Right. Is Lando alright, then?’ She asked, dead on. Oscar said nothing. ‘I can see his feet,’ she explained. Lando pulled his legs closer to his body right as Oscar cursed under his breath. ‘Hello, Lando.’
He sighed. ‘Hi, Mrs. Piastri,’ he called out, not moving from under the bed. Perhaps she would leave before seeing the state of his face. Though his nose was working again, he hadn’t had time to clean all the blood and that was a sight a mother would never let go.
‘Lando. Come out from under the bed.’ She ordered; he knew it was over for him.
Norris tried smiling very brightly, hoping it would distract her enough for Oscar to bang the door closed on her face. If it did, Piastri didn't catch onto the plan, looking at the ground, waiting for his mother's reaction. She spun on her heels, turning to her son.
‘Oscar.’ It was a demand if Lando had ever heard one. Unfortunately, he couldn't allow him to speak.
‘I fell down the stairs trying to get here,’ he lied through his teeth.
Nicole stared for a beat. Two. And laughed. ‘Of all the excuses. That's what you came up with?’
Oscar groaned. ‘He got into a fight, mum. Okay? Please, don't tell Cisca. You know how she gets with these things.’
Nicole wasn't even looking at her son anymore, eyes narrowing on Lando. ‘I should tell her. Give me one reason not to.’
Lando tried, ‘Because I'm fine?’ She arched a brow at him. Right. ‘Because the guy deserved it?’
Nicole sighed. ‘Lando.’
‘Hey, Mrs. Piastri, you know I'm not like this. It happened once. My mother will lose her mind. Please, just–please.’
Nicole sighed. ‘Yeah, no. Let's wash that face. I'm calling your mother.’
Lando groaned.
☆☆☆
The cloth was already a deep red and Oscar had swiped it across Lando’s face only twice. Norris had laughed it off, telling him he could do it on his own, but Oscar didn't mind. Actually, it felt quite nice, knowing Lando trusted him enough to allow him so close.
They had been friends for years by that point, brought together by the horrors of high school, one terrible group project that went wrong, and one karting date later (though he wasn't too sure how they had ended up there, to be honest.) Obviously, it hadn't been a date date because things weren’t like that between them, it didn't really matter how much Lando smiled at him or how many dirty jokes he could make in the span of twenty minutes, though the numbers were impressive, Oscar had made up his mind about Lando the very first time they had hung out; he was too good of a friend to lose.
Their long years beside each other had taught Piastri that Lando wasn't one to trust other people with his problem, always smiling, even when Oscar knew for a fact he was miserable. So being able to help him right then felt a bit special.
Lando grunted, pulling him from his revelry. ‘Shit, I'm sorry,’ Oscar muttered, furrowing his brows at him.
‘It's alright,’ Lando whispered back, though he looked far from “alright”. Oscar didn't point that out; he simply went back to calmly swiping his face. Leaning forward, he tried to be as careful as he could, though the grimaces Lando put on once in a while made him deeply aware of how bad of a job he was doing.
‘Are you gonna tell me what really happened here?’ He asked, knowing damn well Lando would dance around the topic and leave way before Oscar got any answers. It had been like that for a while; Lando appearing with bruises all around his arms and legs - not that Oscar had been looking, but, you know, they were best friends and it was his job to make sure he was okay. If he didn't know Cisca and Adam so well, he would question Norris's living situation.
He had even been missing more classes than Oscar thought was sensible. This was their last high school year, and while Oscar felt like he was on the verge of crashing out every time he had to think about going to college and the approaching exams, Norris seemed so thoroughly unbothered that it was starting to get on his nerves.
It hadn't always been like that. Once, in those first months of friendship, Lando and he had made plans. They would go to college together - because, of course, they would - and while Oscar studied to become some renowned psychoanalyst - he would even say Norris had been his first case of straight-up insanity - Lando would study to become a physiotherapist. Their mutual love for any type of sport had turned both of their heads toward the health of the athletes, though in different - yet complimentary - ways.
Except, Lando had been skipping class after class. Had been getting to school with huge bags under his eyes and kept falling asleep on Oscar's shoulders during most of their lessons anyway. Though he made an effort to give in most of their homework.
Piastri didn't want to push him. Knew that, Lando felt like sharing the secret with him - because he wasn't stupid, there was a secret - he would. And there was no amount of convincing that would make Lando Norris confess his crimes.
‘I did get into a fight,’ Lando whispered out, so close to Oscar's face the words danced in front of his eyes, twirling around them, tying a knot Oscar avoided thinking too much about it.
Sometimes, when they were so close, or when Lando was particularly touchy, it made him wonder. What could be. Between them, if they gave it a chance. Or, when he caught Lando looking too intensely at him, Oscar wanted to shake his shoulders, make him share all his secrets, make him confess what he had seen in Oscar that seemed to be so intriguing.
Little things - and even fewer people - kept Lando's attention for more than a few seconds, he was always jumping from one obsession to the other, from one person to the other, from one flavor or specific food or color or something, never staying still for long enough for most people to get to know him. It was a mystery how Oscar had managed to keep those eyes on him for four years.
‘Lando, mate. Come on.’ Because Norris was many things - reckless, stupid, funny, pretty, though he avoided thinking the last one as much as he could, unless he was alone and it was nighttime and no one would know, no one would have to know - but a fighter? Naturally, with the amount of energy he had, Lando hit the gym more than most people their age, which was to say, a lot, though it hardly made him a fighter. He was more inclined to get involved in other kinds of trouble. Oscar could hardly imagine him even throwing a punch. The thought made him chuckle. Yeah, no. Absolutely not.
‘Really, Osc. I swear. Pinky promise.’
Oscar stared at him, hands frozen for a moment, ‘And why would you fight about?’
Lando didn't say anything, averting his eyes. Oscar scoffed. Yeah, that's what he had thought. It didn't matter, anyway. It was Lando's secret to keep.
He brought the cloth downwards, brushing away the dried blood from his lips, the redness stubbornly sticking to his skin slowly fading away. He made his touch the softest he could, fingers brushing slightly against his lips, skin on skin.
‘Oscar,’ Lando called out, so low he would have missed if his eyes hadn't been stuck on his lips. His mouth fell open, as if he was about to say something, though before he could, Lando was leaning closer and he knew, he knew nothing in this world would make him lean away.
Except one thing. The bathroom door banged open, making him jump back, startled, and dropping the wet cloth on the floor. His mother stared at him.
‘Everything okay?’ Nicole saw right through him, every single time, and Oscar saw the exact moment she put the pieces together. His mother smiled, one flash of it, before looking at Norris.
‘Yep. Yes. Mm-hm. Perfect.’
Oscar arched a brow. Huh. Usually, he was the one who sounded squeaky and stupid when lying, not Lando.
He didn't get enough time to think about any of it, since Lando was already getting up and leaving the bathroom behind.
‘I called your mum,’ Nicole confessed.
Lando nodded, he had been expecting that. ‘Yeah, alright. I'm going home, then.’
Nicole smiled, ‘No more fighting, Lando.’
And for some reason Oscar couldn't quite understand, that made him laugh deeply, while he threw open his window and stepped out, waving at Oscar.
Nicole did not lose one second. ‘So.’ He shook his head. No. Nope. Immediately not. She had the terrible habit of digging into his personal life, and Oscar didn't quite care if she made him go hungry for three consecutive weeks; he would not be discussing Lando Norris with his mother. Not ever.
It was already fucked up enough what had happened in that bathroom. And what had happened? Oscar wasn't too sure. Actually, he had no idea whatsoever. It wasn't like Lando had been about to kiss him. And he wouldn't be kissing him back anyway. That was his best friend. Nothing more.
Nothing more.
‘I have some homework to get done,’ he said, even knowing damn well he had been fast asleep when Norris had come knocking.
‘Come eat first,’ she insisted, delight in her eyes.
The oldest trick in the book.
Oscar shook his head. ‘Not hungry.’
She snorted, ‘Come on, Oscar. You're a terrible liar. Plus, when aren't you hungry? Just come eat. I won't ask you what you two were doing in that bathroom. It's none of my business.’
Oscar groaned. This was nearly just as bad, ‘Nothing was happening, mum.’
His mother bit back another smile, perhaps fearing it would get on his nerves. ‘Sure.’
‘It wasn't!’ He insisted.
‘I believe you.’
Oscar grunted, exasperated. ‘I'm not talking to you. You cannot force me.’
She laughed.
☆☆☆
Right, so. What the actual fuck was that? Had he been high on meds? Surely that had to be it - except he hadn't taken any medication so perhaps not. Maybe the pain then. Clouding his judgement. Because there was no way he nearly… Yeah. No. No way. It had been just one second of mental lapse. Nothing to worry about. It might be cancer. Or like, the radioactive spider. Or something.
God, something. Something that had made Lando so focused on Oscar, looking at his lips, that he hadn’t been able to think of anything else for a second - not even the whispers of pain that refused to go away.
Thankfully, his mother was waiting by the door, a worried expression on her face, urging all thoughts besides the lies he would have to wave disappearing from his head immediately. Right, he had bigger problems. And, either way, nothing had, intrinsically, on its roots, happened. If it might have, well, that wasn’t his area of expertise anyway. Lando didn’t work with hypothesis; he worked with reality.
And his reality right then was how close his mother was watching him.
‘Hey, mum,’ he said, trying to smile as normally as possible.
She didn’t move, for a moment, an apron tied around her waist, the usual red shirt, and those smart eyes, following his every breath. ‘Nicole called.’ He knew she had, couldn’t even blame her for it, really, he had appeared in her house with blood all over her face - though she didn’t know his nose had probably been dislocated or something like it seconds before she got there, and Lando was quietly glad about it. ‘Said you got into a fight,’ Lando sighed.
He would have to explain then. And by explain he 100% meant thinking on his feet to create a plausible excuse. Or, perhaps, he might just get away with it. ‘Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that. I’m a bit tired, eh? Going to bed,’ he had taken two steps towards his room when her small hands fisted his shirt and brought him back.
‘Ah, no, you don’t, Lando! You explain this to me right now! I’m worried about you. You’ve been disappearing in the middle of the night, skipping class,’ he grimaced. ‘Oh, yes, I know about that,’ she said. ‘And now a fight? Really? What is going on?’
This was, arguably, worse than he had anticipated. Lando hadn’t expected her to throw it all on the table like that! He needed time to come up with things that big. God, no, he had to think fast. Come on. He was sick! Enjoying his last days on earth. No. She’d be upset about that and Lando hated when she cried. Right, something else, then. Something good. Something– He smiled.
‘Look, Mum, I’m sorry. It’s just none of your business. I’m alright, that’s all that matters, right?’
Cisca stared at him as if that was the stupidest shit she had ever heard coming out of his mouth, and it took an incredible amount of self-control to hold back the hysterical laugh that threatened to escape.
‘Lando Norris, you are going to tell me right now why a son of mine,’ her only son, mind you, ‘is getting into fights! I did not raise you to do that! We solve our problems with our words in this household and I will not stand for anything else! Either you explain this to me, or you’re grounded until graduation.’
He gasped, ‘Mum! Graduation is in two months,’ it was all part of the theatrics, really. Lando would escape through his windows to Oscar’s house and play on his computer if needed, but, of course, his mother did not know that and he was playing his part.
‘Then you better start talking.’
He sighed, ‘Alright. But you cannot make fun of me.’ She arched her brows, a clear sign that Cisca would not, in fact, be making that promise any time soon. ‘I was angry, mum. They were talking about Osc, okay? And I lost it. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.’
Watching out for her reaction, Norris managed to catch the exact second she formed the next question and his plan was quickly dissolving. Of course, he liked Oscar enough to fight in his name - though Lando doubted very much there was anyone out there who disliked Piastri enough to cause such a situation - but his mother wouldn’t buy it. The truth was that Lando had never been a very aggressive person, he would rather deal with his problems in different manners - ignoring them until either they disappeared or they ruined his life, depending on what came first. So, his story was, at the least, suspicious.
‘Are you lying to me, Norris?’ Oh, last-named. Yeah, that was bad.
Desperation started clawing at him. His Spider-Man suit was still in his backpack, and if Cisca insisted, he was putting himself in danger - which he was - she would not hesitate to go through his stuff. Lando could not afford that. He had to think, fucking hell, think!
‘I– No. It’s just. Um. So, see,’ Goddamit, quicker. ‘It was because… and there, as if someone had shone a light on his brain, was the answer. Yes, it was embarrassing and it would, inevitably, cause him more headache than he would like, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and Lando had never been more desperate in his life. ‘I’m in love with him.’ Cisca blinked once. Then, again. Opened her mouth just to shut it a second later. Lando added, in an attempt to make himself as clear as possible and be done with that conversation. ‘Oscar, that is. We’re, like,’ a pause here, for him to wonder if he was really gonna go there, ‘together.’ He finished.
His mother narrowed her eyes once more. Then, her whole face changed, and he nearly breathed out in relief. ‘Oh! I see it now. Of course, my darling, it makes so much sense. You were always a bit in love with him, weren't you? Since the very beginning, I remember.’
The denial was on the tip of his tongue because, fine, so what if he had had a minuscule crush on Oscar when they first became friends? It had quickly turned into something else: unshakable friendship. However, in love was a bit strong. Except Cisca looked delighted, and she wasn’t watching his every move anymore, so he was forced to humiliate himself further.
‘Right. Yes. You know Oscar.’
She smiled, ‘Such a lovely boy! I’m so happy for you, my love. That explains the hickeys as well, then,’ she sighed, clearly relieved her son wasn’t a part of a dangerous gang and simply in a complicated love affair with his best friend. If he was given the choice, Lando would take the gang, though he supposed he shouldn’t be pointing that out right then.
It made him giggle that his mother had cast the big bruise and cuts on his neck as hickeys, though a quick glimpse of Oscar putting those there made his smile fall a second later.
‘I see now where you’re going. Tell Oscar he’s still welcome here, of course! You don’t need to spend the night there all the time.’ Then, sadness filled her whole face, happiness shattered. ‘God, Lando. I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel like you could tell me.’
‘No. No. Mum, no, that’s not it.’ But she already had tears in her eyes and was pulling him in for a hug.
‘Your own mother!’
God, no, please, ‘No. Mum, hey. Listen. That’s not it. I don’t think you’re homophobic. It’s just that… we decided we would tell you and Nicole at the same time. To be fair. And Oscar… Well, you know how he is. He worries,’ Then, he corrected himself, ‘Not about Nicole! She’s amazing. It’s just complicated, alright? Nothing with you.’
Cisca was nodding, though she hardly seemed happier.
‘Well, alright. Please, invite Oscar for dinner tomorrow, will you? I want him to know this is a safe space.’ Oh fucking hell, what had he started?
Lando’s smile was tight, ‘No need. He already knows that.’
‘Lando! I want to meet my son’s boyfriend!’ She affirmed, even crossing her arms in the lethal mother pose. Lando swallowed thickly at the word. Boyfriend. What the fuck had he done?!
He wanted to kill himself. ‘Mum, you already know Oscar,’ he tried, though, deep down, he already knew it was a lost battle.
‘This is not up for discussion, Lando. Now, take a shower before you eat, you stink.’ And she left, just like that, though he could see how light her steps were - and the small skip he did.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
☆☆☆
Lando was acting weird. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, not when Oscar couldn’t remember once single day where Norris had been completely normal, really, he was always either on a weird funk and sleeping during class or so energized he seemed to have drunk five Monsters in a roll - for some reason, he had been hooked in the new flavor, Oscar had no idea what it was made off, only that it shone in an absolutely toxic neon yellow and he would rather keep his distance, thank you very much. Though, that day, it was neither. Actually, he seemed to be avoiding looking at Piastri altogether. It was only during lunch that Oscar finally managed to earn at least a handful of words in his direction. They were sitting outside, under a tree they had found in their very first year, and although summer approached, Lando was still wearing a hoodie. Oscar, of course, was in shorts.
‘My mother told me to invite you to dinner tonight,’ Oscar didn’t know what to say, shrugging. He ate at Norris’s house quite often, it wasn’t anything new or revolutionary, but an invite made by Cisca herself? That was new. And remembering the night before and the phone call, Oscar was not eager to hear what Lando had told his mother - and how in the hell it involved him. ‘And you have to come.’
Bang on, then.
‘What did you tell her, Lando?’
His friend looked… miserable. He would have felt better with the sight if it didn’t go against all his beliefs. A sad Lando Norris was a tragedy to the world. Oscar could even swear all lights were dimmed and happiness drained considerably from the world.
Lando stared him down, cursed, and said, ‘Fine. It’s me.’
Oscar laughed, confused, ‘What?’
‘It’s me, Osc. You can’t tell anyone, of course, but yeah.’
‘You…What?’
Lando bit his lower lip and Oscar looked into his eyes firmly. ‘Spider-Man. I'm Spider-Man.’
Oscar laughed until his ribs hurt. It took him a while to be able to look at Lando. Every time he did so and saw his serious expression, he nearly died laughing again. God, he was good.
‘I’m serious,’ he said and Oscar laughed even harder.
It was only when Lando did not laugh at all that he managed to stop. ‘I'm sorry, I think I lost you for a moment. Thought you said “Spider-Man”’ Oscar scoffed.
‘That's what I said.’ Lando confessed.
‘What?’
‘Yeah, so. Funny story.’
‘Oh, piss off, Norris.’
No way. Like, no way. The younger hero had been jumping around the city for a while and no one had any idea about who he could be. It was just a boy, just not Oscar’s boy. His best friend could not be Spider-Man. It was ludicrous. It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard and oh my god, Lando was Spider-Man.
A web, white and very much solid, was tangled around his fingers. Oscar looked up, horrified.
‘What the–’
Lando pressed a hand to his mouth. ‘Don’t freak out. Please, don’t freak out. I need your help, okay?’
Oscar nodded. The second Lando’s hands fell from his mouth, he yelled, ‘What the actual fuck, Lando?!’ His friend sighed. ‘What the– No. What? No, I– How is this– What the fuck?’ He ended up settling for.
‘Are you done?’
‘No, I’m not done! How could you not tell me this?!’ Lando stared. Oscar laughed, ‘Right. Fair. I’m still mad, though.’
‘Be mad. But, like, also be my boyfriend?’
Oscar did a double-take. ‘Are you fucking with me?’ And Lando groaned, hiding his face on his hands.
‘My mother has been on my ass lately. She just won’t let it go and I kinda… Told her… You were my boyfriend and I was disappearing to your place to make out. But, like, kinda.’
‘I preferred the Spider-Man part,’ Oscar confessed, absolutely confused. Lando sniggered, ‘Mate, you couldn’t have come up with anything else?’
‘Well, I thought of cancer! But, ultimately, I chose to date you.’
‘Hard choice,’ Oscar muttered.
‘Tell me about it. Plus!’ Lando pointed his finger at his face, ‘You cannot say that when you are a shitty liar.’
‘And, knowing that, you decided to tell Cisca Norris that we are dating? She’s gonna see right through me, mate!’ Oscar wasn’t too sure how he wasn't freaking out about it. It would seem Lando had done well throwing the Spider-Man bomb at him before the dating one, it made it appear so stupidly normal he couldn't find it in himself to be too scandalized.
Lando shook his head. ‘No, she’s not. She can’t, Oscar. If she finds out we’re lying, I’m screwed. No more saving the city, mate.’
Oscar snorted, ‘“Saving the city” is a bit strong, don’t you think? Didn't you have your ass kicked by an old lady because she thought you had gotten her purse?’
Lando pursed his lips. ‘It was a misunderstanding.’ Oscar laughed, muttering, “Sure it was” under his breath. ‘And, God, can we talk about the old lady and stolen bag problem? Because you would think it was made up, but the amount of purses I had to give back, Osc. You don’t understand.’
‘I believe you.’
‘Good. Be my boyfriend, then. Come on, Osc. Please.’
‘It’s not gonna work, Lando,’ he whispered, a bit too desperate all of a sudden. Because the idea of pretending to date his best friend was a complicated one.
‘Oscar, listen to me. Yes, it will. Please, just try it. What is it to you?’
What was it to him? Well, perhaps Oscar had no intention to ever get so close to his best friend after the night before. Perhaps he had been controlling his thoughts and himself around Lando for long enough to know any more proximity would make things ten times harder for him. Or, perhaps, it had something to do with how they would be forced to act around each other.
But Oscar had never quite learned how to tell him no.
He sighed. ‘Alright. Fine. But you better come up with a better lie soon, Lando. Because we will suck at this.’
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, Osc! I love you.’
‘No, you don’t,’ he said, laughing.
‘Oscar, don’t break character! You’re supposed to say “I love you more, baby”.’ He howled with laughter.
‘I am so not calling you baby.’
Lando scoffed, ‘But the city!’
Oscar shook his head, ‘The city’s not worth that much, mate.’