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To say Patrick was wasted was putting it absolutely mildly. He was so far past “wasted” and had moved straight into the territory of “sloppy drunk”. Not that that had changed his mood any, he was still laughing and smiling and singing and dancing with and to anyone who would stand still for more than a second, except now he was just as likely to end up in the floor as he was someone's arms.
Andy leaned over from where he was sitting at the table with Pete and tapped him on the shoulder. “You might wanna take him home,” Andy said, pointing towards Patrick, who was currently clinging to Joe and singing some song so drunkenly that they could barely even understand it. “A minute more of that and Joe might actually drop him.”
“Well, he has been a trooper tonight,” Pete said. He clapped Andy on the shoulder and moved over to were Patrick and Joe were both drunkenly swaying and singing.
“Hey, guys,” Pete said, giving a slight wave, trying to gain their attention.
Joe swung around, almost knocking Patrick over with him. He smiled at Pete and bounced Patrick towards him. “There you go,” Joe said happily, clearly glad to be free from Patrick's grip. He patted Patrick's back and made his way away from the couple with one last, “Good luck!” in Pete's direction.
Patrick draped his arms around Pete's neck for support, until he was basically an over sized necklace dangling from his boyfriend's neck.
“Hi,” Patrick slurred, his smile more than a bit dopey as he directed it at Pete. He looked so happy and giddy that Pete couldn't help but to smile back at him.
“Hey, babe,” he said, grinning at Patrick, who's own smile had grown until it looked almost painfully wide. Since smiling didn't seem to be enough to convey his happiness, Patrick collapsed into giggles barely even managing to hang onto Pete in his fit.
“Let's get you home,” Pete said, fighting to place an arm around Patrick and move him away from the party and towards the car.
Confusion washed across his face. “I thought we were celebrating?” Patrick asked, pulling his arm away from Pete.
Pete had seen Patrick in this sort of mood before. It usually happened when he was super drunk and wanted nothing more than to keep celebrating and making people laugh. Sadly, this was usually through him “entertaining” people and usually ended up with his ass flat on the floor from some misplaced dance move or something else equally embarrassing.
“We are, we are,” Pete said, reassuringly although Pete was pretty positive that Patrick had already forgot why they were celebrating in the first place. Oh well, Brendon's birthdays were always more entertaining with a drunk Patrick anyways. “We're just going to go somewhere else to do it.”
Patrick stared at him for a second before bursting out in giggles again. “Oh,” he said, holding out the word for much longer than it needed to have been. He then threw his arms around Pete again and allowed him to begin to maneuver him towards the car.
“Andy!” Pete said, trying to get the drummer's attention. Once he had it he nodded him over and gestured to the mess that currently was his boyfriend.
“Will you help him to the car? I'm going to go and tell Brendon that we're leaving now,” Pete said.
Reluctantly, yet carefully, Andy took most of Patrick's weight and helped him to the car while Pete ran off to find Brendon.
Thankfully he wasn't too hard to find, and he hardly seemed surprised that Pete was already taking Patrick home, even though there was still a lot of night left. Once Patrick had decided to drink, it was an amazingly short ride to drunken songs, dances, and hugs.
“Just try and make sure he doesn't have too bad of a hangover,” Brendon said. “I hate when I hear him swear off drinking. It's a lot less fun for everyone else.”
Pete rolled his eyes at Brendon's words and headed back out to the car. “Whatever you say, Urie.”
By the time Pete got back to his car, Andy had already placed Patrick in the backseat and somehow managed to buckle him up. Patrick, for his part, was currently looking rather confused around the back seat and at the window in between him and his friends.
“Thanks, Andy,” Pete said once he was close enough to see what he had done.
Andy nodded his head. “I figured it would be best for him to be in the back seat. He was being a little clingy,” he said.
Pete also nodded, thinking about how bad a clingy Patrick was for him when he was trying to drive. He went to get into the car but was stopped by Andy's hand on his shoulder.
“He also didn't know who I was and kept calling me The Sunglasses Man, so you might wanna watch that,” Andy said.
Pete gave an amused laugh. “Fun times for me then, huh?”
“I told you guys not to drink,” Andy said with a shrug before heading back to the party.
Pete rolled his eyes as he got in and began to drive them home. Thankfully, the rocking motion of the car seemed to ease Patrick into an almost sleep-like trance. He couldn't help but thank whoever was listening for his boyfriend's mellowed state.
By the time they pulled into their driveway, Patrick was completely asleep, slumped sideways in the backseat with drool pooling underneath his head.
Pete smiled at the image, resisting the urge to take a picture that he knew Patrick would kill him for. 'Oh well, might as well,' Pete thought before taking his phone out and taking a picture anyways.
The flash from the phone must have somehow woke Patrick up, because suddenly he was snorting awake and upright.
Before Patrick could get too pissy about being woken up, Pete jumped out of the car and began to pull Patrick out. From past experience he knew it was best to get him to bed as soon as possible, or else you would risk having a very Pissy Patrick on your hands.
Patrick was surprisingly cooperative throughout their whole journey, even getting the door unlocked and making it up the stairs.
In fact, he only really had an issue when Pete went to undress him for bed.
“Whoa,” Patrick said, shoving his hands away.
Pete laughed a little at Patrick's disgruntled face as he pushed Pete's hands away. He was too cute at this point for Pete to be too annoyed with him.
“Come on, Trick,” Pete said, managing to pry his jacket off and to unbuckle Patrick's belt.
“Hey!” Patrick said as seriously as he could after all his laughing. He waved a finger in Pete's direction and jabbed at him. “Don't call me that. Only my boyfriend can. He's also the only one who can undress me so you can stop that right there.”
Pete blinked at him in confusion. “What?” he asked.
His boyfriend pushed away from him, sliding across the bed to put as much distance between them as he could. His clumsy hands tried to buckle his jeans again, although that one wasn't going as well.
“You heard me,” he said.
Pete stood there, just blinking again at Patrick. “Who am I?” he asked him.
Patrick squinted at Pete for a moment before shrugging. “A creep?” he answered.
A disbelieving laugh escaped Pete's mouth before he could actually control it. He really didn't recognize him?
A certain part of him couldn't help but be almost proud of the fact that Patrick had turned him down in his state, even if it did bother him that he didn't recognize his own boyfriend.
“Don't laugh at me,” Patrick warned. “I'm serious.”
Pete snickered even harder. “Oh, I believe you,” he said. He held his hands up and backed away from the bed, giving Patrick his space.
Patrick's eyes drooped closed and he tilted to the side. “Stay away from me. Go find Pete,” he said, before falling over asleep on the bed.
Pete stared at his boyfriend, who was currently snoring up a storm, and let out another, quieter laugh.
It looks like he had something cuter to tell Patrick about than the dance he'd done with Joe or the picture he had taken in the car.
Although, he would really need to talk about Patrick's lack of self preservation when it came to getting into cars with “strange” men.