Chapter Text
James was looking for Regulus Black. That much was true. He didn’t, however, think he was going to find him in a space he least expected to.
When they - they, meaning Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail and himself - got word that Regulus left from 12 Grimmauld Place (disappeared was the word their source, no one other than Rodolphus Lestrange, used) and hadn’t be seen again in the next week, Padfoot had been dismissive at first. As the days and then weeks passed with no updates from Lestrange, who promised he would call, Padfoot went from cautious to frustrated to angry and now, at last, panicking. He was convinced that his little brother was either abducted, taken from the streets by someone with bad intentions, or left the country altogether, never to be seen again.
By the time Sirius was spiraling, James tried to put an end to it. “You’re underestimating him, Padfoot. He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t have a plan in place. You always said he was smart.”
“James.” Sirius turned to look at him, seemingly living somewhere between ‘my brother has disappeared’ street and ‘my best friend is a complete idiot’ lane. Both were very incorrect. “Regulus has been so spoiled and kept so small by those people that he wouldn’t last a week on his own. He wouldn’t even know how to use a washing machine or how to budget, and that’s assuming he lives in a house somewhere.”
Well, it had been weeks and he hadn’t come crawling back to his parents yet, so Sirius was wrong. “We’ll find him,” James told him. “And you’ll see he’s doing okay. We’ll find him, Sirius.”
Sirius was unconvinced. “If you say so.”
Sirius was, as a matter of fact, underestimating Regulus. James had become convinced of that as soon as it turned out Regulus had left on his own, because it meant he made his escape plans alone and executed them alone as well. He saw his theory confirmed months later, when he stumbled across Regulus on, out of all places, a cam website. He clicked on the live stream faster than he clicked on anything in his life.
What he was doing there was beside the point, and also rather obvious. What was anyone really doing on a cam site? Satisfying their curiosity, maybe, and exploring their sexuality. In James’ case it was more straightforward than that: he logged on looking for someone pretty and stumbled across his best friend’s younger brother looking even more pretty than the men James thought he had been looking for.
Prior to coming across Regulus on the cam website, James had narrowed down a list of obvious factors concerning Regulus’ wellbeing and inevitably concluded that Regulus was still going to be in London. Even though Regulus spoke multiple languages, a fact he learned from Sirius, it seemed counterintuitive to go to another country. He already had so much taken away from him, so he wouldn’t be leaving a place he knew already. London was large, though. Far too large to accidentally walk into a long-lost estranged brother. They might know that Regulus left 12 Grimmauld Place without outside help, but James liked to believe that he had it now, if only because the rent in London was atrocious and even with some sort of funds taken from his family money, it made sense to live with someone else.
Now James had also found him. He had his phone in his hand within an instant, unsure whether he was going to call or message Sirius to let him know, when he was stopped in his tracks by the image of Regulus.
There he was. He was laughing. He seemed to be doing well.
Regulus was sitting cross-legged on a large double bed, his bedsheets a shade of dark blue, and had his head pillow propped up between his back and the headboard. James was going to guess, according to the stance of the camera, that he placed the camera pointed at him on the foot end of the bed. Regulus was shirtless and was wearing small dark red shorts that didn’t leave very much to the imagination, but covered him up regardless. His hair was shorter than James remembered it being, if still curly. He looked older, but of course he did. He looked like he grew into his body, far more lean and muscular than he looked when they were younger.
James had last seen him, really looked at him, back when he’d been sixteen, so Regulus must have been fourteen at the time. There was truly no comparison and the only reason he recognised him so fast was because he saw the family resemblance immediately. James spent so many hours looking at Sirius that the same sharp jaw and the same shade of hair were very hard to miss.
Regulus was looking at his phone and laughed at something he was reading. “Oh, that’s definitely not the first time I got that question,” he said. “You must be new. Welcome, in that case. And to answer your question: No, I am not French, I’m not from France, but I do speak French.”
James glanced up at the title of the live stream. He’d been so focused on what the person that was streaming looked like that he hadn’t even checked what the live stream’s name was. Etoile - q&a thursday was what he’d called it. The stream was available for everyone that logged into the website and if James had to guess, Regulus was hosting it to draw people in. Looking like that, he would be drawing in anyone that came across him.
James also realised, after another look at his screen, that Regulus was taking questions from his chat next to the window of the live stream. The chat seemed to be talking amongst themselves while also responding to Regulus and asking him their questions as well, ranging from vaguely personal things - did he support a particular sports team? - to explicitly sexual things - what was his favourite sex toy to use during a live stream? - and no topic seemed to be off limits.
As Regulus started speaking in French seemingly to humour whoever asked him about it, James glanced back down at his phone again. What was he going to do? What was he going to tell Sirius? Hi Padfoot, how are you doing this fine day? So I was looking around on some websites and I accidentally stumbled across your half-naked baby brother trying to persuade people to pay him to get naked for them. He seems to be doing okay. Nothing to worry about!
It was, in fact, nothing to worry about, because James had to believe that Regulus was doing this out of his own volition and that he wasn’t being coerced. He seemed comfortable and relaxed and the parts of his space that James got to see was carefully stripped of any features indicating where he was and who he was. Regulus clearly had this under control. He seemed to be doing well for himself too, according to the number of subscribers his channel had.
Well, it wouldn’t hurt to find out some more information first, would it? As Regulus was explaining to another viewer why he picked Etoile as his alias (he was really into astronomy, he said, but found it too cliche to pick a star or constellation to use for his alias, so this had been his compromise), James started to type a message of his own.
Hi Etoile, I was wondering what made you decide that making content for us was something you wanted to do?
Much to his delight, Regulus went back to the chat after his explanation about astronomy and therefore saw James’ message almost immediately. “Prongs is asking why I got into this line of work, so to speak,” he told his viewership at large, gazing back towards the camera. “I’ve taken other jobs that taught me a number of valuable life skills,” he said. “These days I am very good at cleaning and I also make a really good alcoholic drink. But once my cam business started to take off, I started to dedicate most of my hours to it. I’ve joked before that I do this because of the flexible hours and the promise of getting to work from home, but really I chose this because I could have done anything. I had the whole world at my feet and I figured I was going to do something I wanted to do. This has been incredibly liberating and freeing for me. I grew up very restricted and I never got to make my own decisions, so once I broke free from that life it was inevitable that I’d pick something perhaps a bit more - ” He hesitated what word he was going to use for a moment, “Scandalous?”
His choice of words made him laugh. “I don’t find it scandalous myself, mind. I do know that my mother would kill me, which only adds to the appeal for me. I guess it truly is never too late for some rebellion.” He winked at the camera for that. James was pretty sure that multiple people watching him would be swooning right now. “Thanks for the question, Prongs!”
Less than two minutes later, James was being treated to a far too graphic description of what plans Regulus had for a potential future live stream. He talked about that just as easily as he talked about his choice of alias and his reason for picking this line of work, making James conclude he must have been doing this for quite a while. Had he done this from the privacy of his bedroom at 12 Grimmauld Place at first? Had he been saving money to flee the scene by doing this?
James clicked on Etoile’s profile, but quickly realised that if he wanted any information at all, he was going to have to subscribe. As it was, all he was getting was Etoile’s age (two years younger than him, so if he wasn’t sure of Regulus’ identity that checked out), his rates (split in four tiers, no less) and when he made his profile (years ago, but that didn’t mean he started live streaming years ago). That left him to do one thing: subscribe. He needed to find out more. For Sirius.
The first tier subscription gave him access to descriptions of all of the live streams that Etoile uploaded after the live had ended, though he only got to watch a limited amount of them. The descriptions were enough to check the dates on them, though James did admittedly get distracted by some of the thumbnails of Regulus looking absolutely gorgeous. How was he supposed to do his research with Regulus looking like that? It was completely unreasonable. He managed to power through, though, and found the very first video he ever uploaded. It was dated far over a year ago. Sirius was definitely underestimating his brother. He’d been very prepared.
When he went back to the live stream, Regulus had changed positions. He was now laying on his stomach, feet seemingly almost touching the head board and his upper body on the lower half of the bed. He was looking right in the camera, leaning his chin against the palm of his hands and his elbows leaning against the mattress. He looked like he was wearing no clothes from this angle, though considering it was a q+a James doubted that he’d taken the shorts off in the time James spent snooping around his profile.
He opted to try his luck again. Hi again Etoile, I heard you talk about your love for astronomy earlier. Do you have a favourite star or constellation?
“We’re almost through our time today, but since we’re having so much fun I might stick around a bit longer,” Regulus announced to the camera before glancing back down at his phone screen. “Ah, we have another astrophile in our midst!” It might just be James, but he seemed to brighten at the question James asked considerably. “To answer your question, as partial as I am to Leo, I’ve recently started to consider Canis Major as a very stunning constellation as well. I used to be able to see the most bright star in the constellation, usually in February, but London isn’t the best for stargazing, I’m afraid.” He smiled wistfully at that. “Well, I might have to pick a bright night and go stargazing somewhere in the countryside sometime.”
Somewhat predictably, Regulus’ chat was filled with remarks either commenting that they wanted to hear more about astronomy because he looked so pretty talking about it or that if he had been their teacher they would not have been able to concentrate on anything he said about astronomy. James barely refrained from rolling his eyes at that. He understood finding Regulus pretty, but the man clearly had a lot of worthwhile things to say that people needed to be able to listen to.
Regulus, clearly reading along as well, said: “If you’re into me schooling you on some topics, I tend to do readings of sensual books biweekly. I call it ‘book club Tuesday,’ for those unfamiliar.” James laughed out loud at the sheer cheek of it, then proceeded to go back to Etoile’s main page to see if he had a schedule of some sort.
He did have a schedule of some sort. He averaged three to four sessions every week. From their titles, usually cheeky and sometimes puns, James gathered that there were one to two sessions per week where Regulus performed sensual acts, while in the other one to two per week he took the time to connect with his viewership in some way, including the q&a session he was doing now and the book club he referenced for next week. By the looks of it he had a very steady following who would log in to catch up with him regardless of what he was doing.
Back in the other window he saw Regulus sit up straight again, this time right in front of the camera, and smirk at the camera. “This is all the time we have for today, I’m afraid,” he said. “I even went over the allocated time, especially for some of you. Remember: my next session will be on Sunday around 4PM for those of you in GMT.” He glanced at the chat screen, apparently picking up something funny because he added: “I know the time difference with the United States is frustrating, but we’ve been over this: I look my best in natural light and you all know it, but I will do a late video once a month as well. I promise.”
The chat was saying goodbye to Regulus and each other both and James was promptly reminded that he needed to get in touch with Sirius as soon as possible. He had enough information now, didn’t he? Regulus seemed okay. He was taking care of himself. He was still here in London.
Before he could do any such thing he caught a notification on the website from the corner of his eye. The livestream had since ended and the chat had closed too, but James had a direct message. Probably someone annoyed that he managed to grab their favourite cam boy’s attention, James thought, and resigned himself to some sort of an argument over chat leading him to having to block someone. As he opened the chat, though, he was very pleasantly surprised.
Etoile, 18:07
Out of all the questions I prepared myself for today, I didn’t think anything in depth about astronomy was going to be asked. Are you interested in astronomy yourself, Prongs?
Prongs, 18:09
Hello, Etoile. Do you always jump into your new subscribers’ DMs or am I just lucky? And to answer your question; I know a little about astronomy, but I like hearing you talk about it. You make me want to look into it more.
Etoile, 18:10
Ha, no, I don’t usually jump into my new subscribers’ DMs. Only the ones that subscribe during a q+a (happens more often than you think, actually) and ask me about astronomy out of all things. New people usually want me to tell them my schedule, my kinks, my refractory period and my favourite toys.
Etoile, 18:11
I do have a love for astronomy, though, but I didn’t want to keep going on and on about it during a live stream. That is not what people pay me for.
Prongs, 18:11
I wouldn’t have minded you going on and on about astronomy, though. I rather thought what you said about it was very interesting.
Prongs, 18:12
I have to ask - do people actually ask about your refractory period?
Etoile, 18:13
Oh, yea. It’s very important for them to have an idea of how many times I could potentially come during a live stream. It never occurs to them that my self-imposed limit is two times, because I don’t think I’d be of much use to anyone (including myself) if I push myself through a third time.
Prongs, 18:14
You’re a better person than me for putting up with questions like that.
Etoile, 18:14
Ha, thanks. It pays the bills, as they say. It was nice to have you in the chat during the live stream today, Prongs.
Prongs, 18:15
It was nice to catch you, Etoile. Hopefully see you for the next one. x
With a resigned sigh, James went back to Etoile’s main page and looked through the tier options. He guessed that he was going to have his best shot to catch Etoile, or Regulus, again if he became a tier four subscriber, so that was what he did. The second email confirming his subscription came through almost immediately afterwards, but he was going to have to look at it later.
Instead, he messaged Sirius.
Prongs, 18:23
Hey, I have some news I need to talk to you about in person. Should we grab a drink later?
Padfoot, 18:27
Sounds serious. The Leaky Cauldron at nine? Should I invite Wormtail and Moony too?
Prongs: 18:29
No, just you and me. Nine sounds good. See you there!
The first words that Sirius said when he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and slid into the booth in front of James were: “Just you and me? Are we on a date? Or were you in desperate need of some quality time with me? Because all you had to do was say so. No need for a dramatic message.”
James fought the urge to empty the remainder of the contents of his glass of beer over his best friend’s head. He’d been sitting here for the past ten minutes agonising about how he was going to break the news to Sirius and Sirius was coming in here as if he hadn’t gotten the memo of how serious this was at all. He probably hadn’t. He must not have read the undertone of James’ message at all.
“Can you please stop having your head up your ass for five minutes and sit down and listen to me?” James asked, instead finishing his beer.
He’d been here for quite a while already. Sirius was right on time, but James had arrived early on purpose. If he hadn’t left early he probably would have kept looking over Etoile’s profile like a madman and that would probably have served to turn him on (Regulus was very pretty and that was the point of the profile!) and to help his descent into madness, because there would be nothing on his profile to indicate anything he was looking for. That was the aim, after all. It was catered to make people interested in looking at him, but it didn’t serve as a guide to find him.
Once in the pub on his own James started thinking about it and figured maybe Regulus was a really good liar and nothing he told his chat was actually true. The part about finding the job liberating sounded too real to be a lie, though, and the words about astrology and constellations (Canis Major, no less!) were so specific that they had to be true. He wouldn’t have researched it just to have something to say about stars. But surely he didn’t live in London, although that might have been the safest location he could have mentioned, especially with his posh accent.
The accent wore off with Sirius, James realised, looking at his best friend. That was proven when Sirius said: “I’m here, keep your pants on. What’s wrong?”
So maybe he did spend a bit too much time on Etoile’s profile to stop that inevitable descent into madness, because when Sirius told him to keep his pants on, James abruptly lost it and started laughing.
Sirius, to his credit, was confused by his response but laughed along. “Why is that so funny?” Well, Sirius, because your brother did too.
“Oh, it’s a long story,” James said with a throwaway gesture of his hand, calming down. “I’m just going to cut to the chase, Padfoot: I found Regulus. By accident.”
Sirius stared at him as if he wasn’t capable of processing those three words - I found Regulus - at once. Had James not promised him that he would do that? Maybe Sirius had found it all too unrealistic that James would in fact find him (understandable) or maybe Sirius thought that James just said that to calm him down (understandable too).
Subsequently, Sirius stood up and made a beeline for the bar. James frowned and leaned out of the booth to be able to look at his best friend. To his credit, he immediately ordered two bottles of beer and when the bartender slid them over the bar, he immediately headed back to the booth too.
“I don’t think beer is going to cut it if you’re looking to get drunk, Padfoot,” James said.
“No, obviously not,” Sirius agreed. “I might be going there at a later point depending on what you’re going to tell me. But I do think we both need something of a drink to get through this conversation, because this is a monumental occasion.”
It was a monumental occasion indeed, though the choice of words made James wince. There really was no way of knowing how Sirius was going to respond to the news James was about to tell him, but Sirius also had no way of bracing himself. It might be a matter of pulling the plaster off.
“So where did you find him?” Sirius asked, sipping from his beer like it was his lifeline. He was nervous, James realised. That was why he wanted a beer. He might even have gotten it just to have something in his hands.
Not wanting to make him wait even more, James simply started to talk. “There is a cam website that I log into every now and then,” he started. “I was just browsing when I found Etoile, a rather popular camboy. I recognised him at first glance. It was Regulus. No doubt about it.”
To prove it to Sirius though, he fished his phone from his pocket and showed him a safe for work screenshot that he’d made. It was a screenshot from the most recent video where Regulus was hosting his ‘book club Tuesday’. James couldn’t say for sure that he was clothed for the entire video, but he definitely was in the thumbnail. Sirius took the phone from his hands and immediately zoomed in to the picture, definitely looking to confirm it.
“That does look like him,” Sirius said cautiously. “Did you see him during a live stream? Did he sound like Regulus?”
“I did, and he does,” James nodded. “He looks good, Sirius. He says he’s in London and he seems to be doing well.”
Sirius nodded. “Yes, good,” he said, the word possibly sounding as nonsensical to him as they did to James. He took another long sip from his beer. “I’m at a loss, Prongs. I never thought we would ever get this far - no offense.”
“None taken,” James said with a shrug. It was a big city and an even bigger country, after all, and James had found him completely by chance. “Look. We know where we can find him now. We know he’s doing okay. Maybe you should take some time to figure out what you want your next step to be, because by the looks of it he’s not going anywhere.”
Realistically, Sirius had been worried about Regulus’ safety and health first and foremost. The two brothers had a difficult relationship, to say the least, but Sirius had his priorities straight when they heard that Regulus disappeared. He never wanted any harm to happen to his younger brother. Now Sirius had to find out if he was ready for a potential reconciliation at some point, since they had the means to talk to Regulus now. It was something that Sirius might want to rush (if James knew him at all he was already planning the meeting in his head) but that he should take his time over. Then there was the Regulus aspect of the reconciliation: maybe Regulus was looking for Sirius too, but maybe Regulus was deliberately keeping his distance. They had no way to know.
When Sirius said nothing, clearly lost in thought, James offered: “What if I try to find out more? I asked some questions in his chat to verify if it was him and he messaged me at the end of his stream. I’m sure I can get him to talk to me again.”
Sirius brightened at the suggestion. “Will you keep an eye on him for me?” he asked. “That’s a good idea, James.” Then, with a strict look, he added: “Just don’t start liking the view too much, Prongs. This is my baby brother we’re talking about.”
Well, Sirius’ baby brother was well into his twenties and was advertising his admittedly gorgeous body on the cam website, so what was James to do? Just hearing Regulus (no, Etoile) talk managed to draw him in and he was beautiful too. No wonder he had so many subscribers and so many people in his chat for a q&a on a Thursday midday. Anyone sane would enjoy the view and James did not consider himself insane. Maybe just crazy enough to entertain this.
“I will keep an eye on him for you,” James said. “I’ll make sure that no one in his chat seems to take advantage of him. He has a schedule posted on his page, so I’ll set reminders in my agenda and stick to it religiously, alright?”
Sirius nodded. “Alright,” he confirmed, clearly relieved. “Let me know if anything changes. I’m so glad you found out that he seems okay.”
He was going to be the most honourable person alive, of course, by keeping an eye on his best friend’s younger brother so diligently. He wasn’t going to miss a single live stream. He’d give Sirius updates every week if he had to.