Chapter Text
Cody was up and out of bed before Perrin gave his first real little lothkitten wail. He quieted almost immediately in Cody’s arms, blinking grumpily up at him.
“Is he hungry?” Obi-Wan mumbled from behind him, voice raspy from sleep.
“I don’t think so,” Cody murmured, smiling fondly back at him. “Go back to sleep, I’ll wake you if I have to.” Obi-Wan gave an acknowledging hum and closed his eyes again, already half dead to the world.
It was a routine Cody knew well; Perrin was an angelic baby who loved being held by his parents, and for the past two weeks he’d been waking up one extra time during the night. Not because he was hungry, but because he was sick of being alone in his bassinet.
Obi-Wan had offered to be the one to hold him, but Cody always said no. Obi-Wan would have to be up in another hour or so to feed him anyway, and Cody was happy to sit with him until then. He did miss nights of uninterrupted sleep, but honestly, he cherished his midnights with Perrin.
He and Obi-Wan had set up a little seating area near the large window of Cody’s bedroom. There was a rocking chair, which Cody preferred for times like these, and an armchair, which Obi-Wan preferred for feeding. There was a little basket of books for bedtime, and some of Perrin’s favorite soft toys.
Cody took his usual seat in the rocking chair, two month old Perrin tucked into the crook of his arm. He offered the first two fingers of his free hand to the infant, who grabbed them tightly and pulled them to squish against his pudgy little cheek like they were a stuffed animal—a habit that melted Cody’s heart every single time.
Cody didn’t think he would ever get tired of looking at Perrin; how could he? He was literally perfect from his little wisps of reddish hair to his scrunched up little toes. He was so content, almost never crying unless he needed something, and he was starting to smile. Really smile, not just a muscle reflex.
Perrin was everything to Cody, and that was a feeling he hadn’t really been prepared for. Of course, he’d felt love before. He was very deeply in love with Obi-Wan and had been before Perrin was born. He had quite a few younger brothers, all of whom he loved with his entire being. But none of that felt the same as seeing Perrin brought into the world and knowing that he and Obi-Wan would be raising the tiny, squalling baby into a full grown person.
Cody was scared, and he was intimidated, but most of all he just loved Perrin so much that none of his other feelings really mattered. And recently on these moonlit nights, where he did nothing but watch that perfect baby boy sleep, Cody did a lot of thinking.
He thought about his own journey into fatherhood—his regrets, his mistakes, his stubborn avoidance. Given the result, Cody would do it all over again if he had to, but he was still struck with pangs of remorse when he thought of the time he and Obi-Wan could have had together had things happened differently.
Obi-Wan always scolded Cody out of those thoughts when he expressed them out loud. “We’re here now,” he would say “and I quite like the way things have ended up.”
Cody couldn’t argue with that. What was a few weeks of misery in the face of the love Cody got to experience on a daily basis? Sure, he’d never been so tired in his life and sure, a newborn didn’t leave him and Obi-Wan a ton of time to explore their relationship, but they had all the time in the world for that. Perrin was never going to be this small again.
He also spent a lot of time thinking about his own upbringing. He remembered the way his father limited contact between Cody and his half brothers, the disinterest he’d shown in Cody and his brothers, and the way Cody had taken raising his younger brothers into his own hands. He remembered how unrelentingly he had been pushed into his studies, yet how unprepared he’d been for any of the practicalities of being a prince. He remembered constantly striving to make his father proud, and he remembered the realization that it was never going to happen.
Looking down at the bundle of innocence in his arms, Cody had no illusions that he would be a perfect father. But dammit, he would be better. Perrin would never have to wonder if he was making Cody proud or whether Cody loved him. He would know it, and Cody would remind him at every chance he got.
Perrin gave a sleepy little grunt before stretching out his entire body, his little fists clenching tight and stretching to the top of his head.
“Wow,” Cody murmured, quietly enough to let Obi-Wan sleep. “That felt good, hm?”
Perrin heaved a sigh almost too big for his tiny body, curling back into Cody’s warmth. His eyes slowly blinked open, though, pensively taking in the moonlit world around him. Cody stroked a finger over his cheek, delighting in the sleepy smile that crept onto his son’s face. He didn’t attempt it again, not wanting Perrin to get too worked up before his feeding. Instead, he offered his finger, which Perrin gladly took and began to mouth on.
“How’s that taste?” Cody asked, smiling as Perrin grunted. “Probably not as good as what you’re used to.”
Perrin didn’t seem to mind, contentedly gumming on Cody’s finger for the next several minutes. Eventually, his little huffs grew more and more frustrated, and Cody knew it was time to wake Obi-Wan up.
“Okay,” he soothed, lifting Perrin to kiss his head. “Let’s get Papa, yeah?” He settled Perrin against his chest, standing to go wake the man blissfully sprawled across the bed. As much as he would have loved to be doing the same, Perrin took priority, and Cody wasn’t even a little mad about it.