It’s been a long, long time, since I’ve memorized your face

by lizoikgeluvr

Summary:

Kageyama Tobio had spent his life chasing expectations of his own, others and the world’s. Then, one day, he simply vanished. No one knew where he was, not even his family, not his friends—no one. He had left without a trace, with a goodbye or explanation. He had moved to Italy. He started a new life in Tuscany, where the pace of life was slower, the air was filled with the scent of olives and cypress trees, and no one knew his name. He finally got to live somewhere without having to care about any expectations, he could finally just.. simply live his life. But one day, Oikawa appeared. Kageyama didn’t know that Oikawa had spent most of his time searching for him. Will they start everything again? Will Kageyama let Oikawa into his life again?

Notes:

Sorry for the short chapter, trust me, new chapters will get longer and longer. My battery is 4% now, so, I shouldn’t be that greedy to write HAHAH.

Chapter 1: New Start

Kageyama Tobio had always been a man of precision. He lived by structure, routines, and goals—until the weight of it all became unbearable for him. The expectations, the endless pursuit of greatness, the noise of the world pressing in him from every direction—it chipped away at him, slowly, until one day he realized he had nothing left to give.

So, he left. No traces, no grand announcement, no goodbyes or dramatic farewell. Just a one-way ticket, a deleted phone number, and a quiet departure in the dead of the night.

When he finally landed in Italy, he chose Tuscany. He had always dreamed of living there and when he finally got the chance to choose where he wanted to start his new life, of course he would choose Tuscany. Maybe it was the way the golden fields stretched endlessly under the sun or how the rolling hills seemed to promise solitude. Maybe he just wanted to be somewhere peaceful and live a slow life he had always wanted. 

He found a small house on the outskirts of a town where no one asked questions. The locals were nice. They spoke in warm, unhurried tones. Their lives dictated by the rhythm of nature rather than schedules and obligations. No one cared who he was, what he had done before or why he had arrived alone. 

And no one rushed him to do anything, no one asked or demanded anything from him.

Kageyama felt free, he felt like he was finally breathing the fresh air instead of breathing into people’s judgements and expectations. Now, Kageyama was just a man—not an athlete, not a prodigy, not someone to be watched or judged. He’s just Kageyama, just a man.

And that is okay.

Chapter 2

Notes:

I’m sorry if it seems a bit rushed or messy, but I was really sleepy and I haven’t had enough sleep for the past few days since I was so busy, but I still wanted to write chapter 2 🥲.

Oikawa and Kageyama were never a thing, they were nothing but rivals, enemies, even. Oikawa hated Kageyama—he was jealous, insecure, angry and felt so small when he stood beside Kageyama. To him, Kageyama was everything he could never be and it made him developed a pure hatred for Kageyama which was valid for someone so complicated and complex as him but yes, he admitted that it was really toxic and immature. 

But that one night, that night.

”O-Oikawa-san, slow down..”

”I fucking hate you” as Oikawa thrusting harder into Kageyama, rearranging his organs and destroying his insides. 

Then, Kageyama passed out after four rounds. It was consensual, they both agreed to it. And as for someone who hates Kageyama so much, Oikawa was actually really respectful to him and only did as he requested. 

That was the last time they saw each other, it happened in Argentina when Kageyama accidentally bumped into Oikawa when he was on a vacation with his family. Kageyama didn’t expect to see his former senior at such a foreign place.  He didn’t know that Oikawa had moved to Argentina and had to stay there for two years to apply for a citizenship. Well, that explained why he never saw Oikawa again after Oikawa graduated, Kageyama thinks.

After that night of them being tangled around each other’s limbs, Oikawa felt something shifted inside him. Because the next morning he woke up and not seeing Kageyama beside him, it made his stomach churned. He hated not having Kageyama beside him when Kageyama was never allowed to be there in the first place. Oikawa had spent all his lives resenting Kageyama, he had built a wall between them and never allowed Kageyama to be near, so, why did it feel so empty when Kageyama was never there? 

-

“Iwa-chan, you really came to pick me up!” 

“You were gone for two years, of course I’ll be here to get you.” Iwaizumi was never the type to be sentimental, he’s really not fond of showing his emotions. But they had been best friends since forever and Oikawa didn’t come back for two years for the Argentinian citizenship, of course Iwaizumi had missed him. Iwaizumi was so used to Oikawa annoying him all the time, and not having Oikawa by his side for a long period of time felt weird and unfamiliar, it was a different kind of loneliness that was impossible to describe with words. 

Oikawa talked a lot, well, he has always been talkative anyway. But Iwaizumi never gets tired of listening to him talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He just let Oikawa continued his stories of how hard it was living alone in a foreign country, of how he had went through so much hard times learning a whole different language, then, a story of how his life got so much better later on… then, he talked about how he had a one night stand with his mortal enemy, Kageyama Tobio. Iwaizumi almost choked himself after hearing that, because what kind of nonsense was Oikawa talking about?! 

“Anyways, how is Tobio-chan doing now?” Oikawa’s expression was hard to read when he asked that question, Iwaizumi didn’t know if Oikawa was really curious of how Kageyama was doing or if Oikawa just wanted to talk about Kageyama. But that question was hard to answer too, because.. even Iwaizumi didn’t know. No one knows where Kageyama had gone or what had happened to him. He had disappeared eight months ago and no one had ever seen him since then. Everyone assumed that he had left to somewhere where no one can find him, that assumption was made when people starting to notice that Kageyama’s family wasn’t so freaked out when he disappeared. So, that was enough for everyone to know that Kageyama wasn’t in some type of danger like being kidnapped or something like that, or something worse.

Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his neck not knowing how to answer the question, but the look on Oikawa’s face made Iwaizumi realise that he had no choice but to tell the truth because Oikawa would find out about it anyway, it’s better for him to know now. “He’s gone. He had left with no trace, so, no one actually knew where he was and where he is right now. We asked his family members, but they told us that Kageyama really did leave without any trace and they had no clue where did he go.”

”Please tell me you’re joking. Because if you do, it’s really not funny, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa felt like he wanted to throw up and begged for answers. But nothing, nothing came out. His throat hurts and his heart pounding loudly—too loud that Iwaizumi could almost hear it. 

“I’m really not.”

If it takes Oikawa to cross the oceans, to fly thousand miles, to ask strangers for questions, or simply burn the world, just to take Kageyama back, he won’t hesitate on doing it and he would do it.

Chapter 3

1 year. It’s been 1 year.

It has been one whole year since everyone last seen Kageyama. A year straight without Kageyama and that period of time was enough for people to start forgetting how Kageyama’s face looked like, how his voice sounded like, the way he talked, the way laughed and just Kageyama himself. Though, they didn’t actually forget him nor stopping from finding him and searching for him. They are just starting to forget him as a person or human being—physically. But still, Kageyama always stays in their memories like how he used to toss and set for them, how they admired him, how they all had played with him or againts him, how they had seen Kageyama not just a player but also a friend. Especially Hinata, Hinata had never stopped praying and wishing for his best friend to come back alive and well, because none of them had no idea where he had gone to, was he okay or not, he was nowhere to be found and after a year, even his family didn’t even know whether he’s still alive or if there’s anything bad happened to him. They were fine at first when Kageyama first disappeared because they thought Kageyama might need time to calm himself and surround himself with a peaceful environment for once. But when he didn’t come back at all for the one whole year, everyone had different assumptions and only some of them are positive but most of them are bad. Because a person couldn’t just disappear one day and decided to never coming back, well, yes it is possible but at least they will let their family or some people know about it. Not just disappear and gone like that unless they were getting kidnapped or killed. 

Oikawa had it worse. The only memories he had with Kageyama were during middle school where he had resented Kageyama most of the time. All the memories during middle school made Oikawa frustrated to the edge because of how bad of a teammate he was to Kageyama when all that kid ever wanted was for him to teach him on how to be better in volleyball. He himself was aware that Kageyama was admiring him every time they played or when Oikawa did anything on the court, but Oikawa chose to let his jealousy and his immaturity took over him instead. And the last memories they had together was during their one night stand in Argentina where no apologies were being said and only moans of pleasures were heard. Oikawa owed so much to Kageyama. He had searched for him everywhere but there was still no sign of Kageyama. It’s like Kageyama had erased himself completely.

But one morning when Oikawa just woke up, he checked his phone first just like he always did, it’s part of his daily routine now. He was scrolling through his Instagram feed where mostly the posts were about volleyball, people traveling and having the time of their lives in another country, food porn, music and other stuffs. Then, he stumbled across a post showing a picture of a woman and her husband in a beautiful cafe, and the man in the background looking a little too familiar—his silky black hair, his sharp jawline, his blue eyes. He was sitting at the table behind the couple in the picture, he was alone and his gaze fixed on the book he was reading. It was Kageyama. Then, Oikawa immediately moved his eyes to see the location in the post at the top of the picture and just below the username where it showed the cafe’s location and then the place.

Tuscany, Italy.

“Please wait for me, Tobio.”

Chapter 4

Days passed in quiet simplicity. Kageyama woke with the sunrise, the soft golden light filtering through his windows. He tended to a small garden in his backyard, hands in the soil, feeling something grow beneath his fingertips—something that he planted himself with love and care. He learned to appreciate the nature surrounding him, the bitter taste of strong Italian coffee, the peace he felt grounding him every day. 

He took walks through the countryside, past vineyards and olive groves, with no destination in mind. He just walked and felt the breeze dancing around him, touching his skin. The only sound was the rustling of the wind and the distant hum of cicadas. He had started reading—a hobby he picked up after he left. Books lined the walls of his small home, their pages filled with love stories, histories, philosophies, poems, and stories of lives far removed from his own. At night, he would listen to jazz on an old record player that he thrifted at a vintage shop in town. He had become an old soul, the soul that yearned for nothing but peace. He wasn’t happy, not yet. But he wasn’t exhausted anymore either. That was okay, for now. 

-

Kageyama’s favorite spot to spend his evening was at a cafe not too far from his house that served the best coffee he had ever tasted in town. The vibe was cozy and less crowded than other cafes that were mostly known as tourist spots. This one really suited to his liking, he was even recognized as a regular there—the baristas already knew what his order would be every time he came by. Today was just the same like every other day, just him reading his newly bought romance novel in his favorite cafe while sipping his usual espresso. 

That was when a familiar voice shattered the fragile peace he had built.

”Tobio?”

His breath caught in his throat as he turned around to look at the owner of that voice. 

There, standing at the cafe entrance, eyes wide with disbelief, was Oikawa Tooru.

He didn’t think. The moment he heard Oikawa’s voice—his name spoken like a question, like a plea—his body reacted on instinct and it was telling him to run. So, he turned sharply, knocking over his espresso cup in the proveee, and bolted. The cafe owner called after him in surprise, but he barely heard it over the rapid pounding of his heartbeat. He wove through the narrow streets of the town, past familiar shops and quiet alleways, ignoring the confused stares from the locals. 

But Oikawa had always been fast. He’s truly an athlete, he was born for it. Footsteps pounded againts the cobblestone behind him, gaining ground with every second.

”Tobio, stop! Please!” He was begging, as he was out breath, still begging for Kageyama to stop. 

But Kageyama didn’t. He couldn’t.

Before he could take another step, a strong hand grabbed his wrist, yanking him back and made him stumbled, nearly losing his balance, and in that instant, Oikawa swung him around and pinned him againts the warm stone wall. Kageyama’s breath came fast, his pulse wild, but Oikawa wasn’t any calmer. His chest heaved as he stared at Kageyama with wide, desperate eyes, afraid of letting Kageyama out of his sight. Even Kageyama could tell, Oikawa was really desperate, there must be a storm inside of him, Kageyama thinks. 

“I-it’s really you,” Oikawa breathed.

Kageyama turned his head away, refusing to meet his gaze which made Oikawa felt more rejected. “Let me go.”

”Not a fucking chance, Tobio.” Oikawa’s grip tightened. “I just got you back, there’s no way I’m letting you go. You don’t have any idea of how long I’ve been looking for you.”

Kageyama’s jaw clenched. Of course, he had expected that people would look for him after he disappeared, he knew that he was surrounded by people that loved and cared for him, so, of course they would try to find him. But he never imagined Oikawa would be one of them. Because, why would he? 

“How did you find me?” He asked, his voice quiet. He was still in Oikawa’s iron grip, but he felt like there was no way he could run now. 

Oikawa scoffed, though there was no humor in it. “It wasn’t easy. You had erased yourself completely and you left with no trace. Do you know how insane that drove everyone? Your family, your friends.” 

Kageyama stayed silent, he only looked away. It’s like he was ashamed of himself.

Oikawa sighed sharply. “I looked everywhere, Tobio. Japan, Argentina, even in Spain. Then one day, I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I came across a photo of some tourist in that cafe earlier, and when I took a clear look, I saw someone who looked like you in the background. I saved the address and location, then I booked a flight. I didn’t know if it was really you, it was all up to luck. I almost didn’t believe it. But I had to try. I prayed, wished, begged—everything, in hope that it was really you.” 

Kageyama swallowed, his throat dry. He hadn’t realized how much effort Oikawa had put into searching him. But he was also confused why would Oikawa do that? What was the reason behind it? Because all he knew that their only good memory was during their one night stand in Argentina. Other than that, there was none. Oikawa had resented him for almost his whole life. 

“Why?” The question slipped out before he could stop it.

Oikawa’s fingers twitched on his wrist. “Because you disappeared,” he said, frustration thick in his voice. “Because when I went to Japan with a thought of seeing you again and you weren’t there. Because I—“ He cut himself off, exhaling harshly, and with a shaky voice, he finally said something that he had been wanting to say. “Because I needed to know if you were okay.”

Kageyama finally looked at him then. Really looked.

Oikawa wasn’t just frustrated. He looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, his normally perfect fluffy brown hair was messier than usual, and his expeession was a mix of anger, relief, and something Kageyama couldn’t quite name.

”…I really didn’t want anyone to find me,” Kageyama admitted.

”I know,” Oikawa said bitterly. “But you don’t get to just vanish and expect no one to care.”

Kageyama bit his lip, looking away again, avoiding Oikawa’s eyes. 

For a moment, there was only the sound of the wind rustling through the streets, the distant chatter of townspeople, and their uneven breaths. 

Oikawa loosened his grip slightly, but he didn’t let go. Not yet. “Come back with me.” His voice came out almost pleading.

Kageyama flinched. “No.”

Oikawa’s fingers dug into his skin again, he wanted to scream out of frustration. “Why the hell not?!”

”Because I don’t belong there anymore! You don’t understand what I feel, you’re not me!” The words were raw, slipping out in anger before he could stop them. 

Oikawa’s expressions faltered. “…What are you talking about?”

”I was tired, Oikawa-san.” Kageyama’s voice was quiter now, but there was a weight to it. 

And Oikawa noticed that Kageyama still use the honorific even in this heated moment between them, it proved enough that Kageyama still respects him even after everything. Even right now.

“Tired of everything. The expectations. The pressure. The feeling that no matter how much I gave, it would never be enough. I just don’t feel like I could do it anymore.” Kageyama exhaled, looking down to his feet. He looked so small for the first time—so vulnerable.

Oikawa’s grip finally loosened completely, his hand falling away.

They just stood across each other, silence stretched between them.

”I don’t know, Tobio. But you could at least tell someone about it. At least when you left, no one had assumed that bad things had happened to you. It worried everyone, even me. Especially me.” Oikawa finally said, voice barely above a whisper.

Kageyama hesitated, guilt settling heavy in his chest. He had always thought no one would understand. That leaving quietly was the only way for him to breathe again, to start everything over again. But standing here now, seeing the raw emotion on Oikawa’s face, he wondered if he had made a mistake instead.

Oikawa rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling shakily. “I’m not leaving you here.” 

Kageyama stiffened. “Oikawa-san—“

”I won’t ask you to come back to volleyball, or to Japan. But I didn’t come all this way here just to walk away now.” Oikawa’s voice was firm, but there was something gentler beneath it. “Let me stay. Just for a while.” His eyes softened.

Kageyama stared at him, torn.

Letting Oikawa stay meant letting someone back in, which he had avoided it for a year. But Oikawa was right, he didn’t come all the way here for nothing. The least Kageyama could do was to appreciate his effort for coming here, searching for him. It probably wasn’t easy for him.

And maybe… Kageyama could use a company after a long time. 

“…Fine, you can stay.” He said at last, his voice barely audible. Oikawa let out a slow breath, his shoulders finally relaxing. “Good, because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.” 

Kageyama just rolled his eyes to that and sighed heavily. He then started moving his feet, walking away. 

“Where are you going?” Oikawa asked with a panic tone in his voice, he was NOT losing Kageyama again. 

“Home. Either you start walking or I’ll leave you behind.” 

And just by that, Oikawa jogged a little to walk beside him, matching his steps and pace as they quietly walked to Kageyama’s place. Each of them had their own home in somewhere foreign—somewhere they had began their new life at. One in Buenos Aires, one in Tuscany. If only they realized that sooner or later, home would be where the other is at.