Chapter Text
Lucifer stepped through the doors of the club with a scowl, already gearing himself up to have a miserable night. It was too loud, reeked of alcohol and sweat, the lights were flashing obnoxiously, and it was absolutely packed with Sinners. The King of Hell grimaced and ducked his head before shouldering his way to the bar.
He wouldn’t be there at all if it weren’t for Charlie’s insistence that he ‘get out among our people’. Ugh. He understood Charlie’s passion for helping Sinners. He did, really. But that didn’t change that the vast majority of Sinners didn’t want to be helped. There was a reason the newly rebuilt Hazbin Hotel had been open for a couple months now and they’d only gotten three new residents. And Lucifer had some serious doubts as to how seriously those three were taking this whole redemption business.
Which was what had led to Charlie ‘encouraging’ him to go out and mingle with Pride’s general population. Apparently, the way he interacted with their guests left something to be desired, and so seeing what afterlife was like for Sinners was supposed to make him more sympathetic. Right. Because what was more endearing than a bunch of poor, pathetic psychopaths getting drunk, picking fights, and destroying property? But he’d do anything for his daughter, so here he was.
He took a seat at the bar, keeping his head low to avoid drawing attention to himself. All he had to do was make it through the night, and then he could tell Charlie that he’d tried, but the club really wasn’t the best place to inspire sympathy.
A rather blue figure leaned against the bar beside him, snapping his fingers impatiently at the bartender. “Hey, get me an apple bourbon,” he ordered, the faintest hum of static underlying a voice as smooth as the whiskey he was ordering. “And don’t make me wait.”
The minotaur-looking bartender turned around angrily, but he tampered that anger down into a faint scowl when he saw who was talking to him. “Yes, sir,” he muttered, inclining his head politely before he quickly got to work on the drink.
The patron sighed as he sat down on the neighboring stool, and Lucifer glanced over at him curiously. He was tall, as most Sinners were, it seemed, and was smartly dressed in a blue suit and a red and black striped vest. Navy skin peeked out of his sleeves and sharp, cyan claws drummed on the bartop. But the most interesting thing about him was definitely his head - it was a flat-screen TV! A blue face was projected onto the screen, and antennae poked out of a hat that was situated on top of it. Lucifer kept watching as a whiskey was set down on the bar, and then the strange Sinner brought the glass up to his projected mouth, downing most of his drink. Fascinating.
The Sinner presumably swallowed and set the glass back down on the counter, then his bright red eyes flickered to the side. He blinked, and then a smile spread over his screen revealing a row of pointed, cyan teeth. Lucifer vaguely wondered what it would feel like to get bitten by them, or if such a thing was even possible.
“Why, Your Majesty, I certainly didn’t expect to run into you here,” he greeted through an obviously fake smile that reminded Lucifer a bit too much of another Sinner he knew. “What are you drinking?”
“I’m not,” Lucifer answered flatly, turning away in hopes of ending the conversation before it began. Just because the Sinner appeared more interesting than most, didn’t mean that Lucifer was ready to engage in small talk with the guy. He hated small talk, and Sinners rarely made for good conversation.
The Sinner flagged down the bartender again, and for a moment Lucifer thought he had succeeded in avoiding the awkward socializing, but then, “Get me another one, and one for him as well. On me.”
Oh, great. He wanted to suck up to him. Cute, but annoying. Lucifer turned back to the Sinner with a raised eyebrow, unimpressed. “You should save your money. A free drink isn’t going to buy you any royal favors.”
The demon scoffed, spinning his stool to face his king fully and resting an elbow on the bar. “I don’t need to save my money - wait. Do you seriously not know who I am?” he demanded incredulously.
“Should I?” he asked blankly.
“Unless you’ve been living under a fucking rock - yeah! My face is all over this city, and in most other rings, as well. I supply basically all of Hell’s technology and media!”
“Uh-huh,” Lucifer hummed disinterestedly as a couple of drinks were set down in front of them. He picked up his glass and took a sip. Well, the drink was good, at least.
The Sinner let out a frustrated sigh and suddenly flicked his hand in the air dramatically. Blue electricity sparked from his fingertips, and then the television at the corner of the bar changed from some kind of music video to a recording of the very same Sinner sitting behind a desk bearing the text ‘Vox-2-Nite’ across the front.
The TV-headed demon on the screen spoke, gesturing animatedly. “And, of course, who better to share with you VoxTek’s latest innovations than-” The camera swiveled to the side, revealing a guest chair where another iteration of the same demon sat, smiling genially at the camera.
“Me!” he interrupted himself. “VoxTek founder and CEO!”
Artwork by Si
“So, Vox,” the demon behind the desk spoke, “What can you tell us about what VoxTek has to offer the fine citizens of Hell?”
“Well, Vox, frankly there’s so much I couldn't possibly address it all in this time slot!”
The host laughed, leaning forward to brace himself on the table in front of him. “And who owns all of Hell’s networks and sets those time slots?”
“I do!” The guest agreed with a laugh. “So, I guess I can allow another hour for today’s show, but only because I care so much about our viewers and getting them the information they need in a timely manner.”
“You are generous, as always. And handsome, if I do say so myself!” he added with a wink.
“You’re too kind! But let’s get to the meat of it.” The demon (Vox?) directed his gaze back to the camera as it focused solely on him. “Today I will be sharing with you your first look at our latest models of the V-Phone, V-Pad, V-Watch, V-Book, and Voyeur Scope, some of our new offerings on our nearly 200 TV channels, and more!”
“Okay, I get it,” Lucifer sighed, turning away from the TV to where the Sinner sat in person. “You’re a big deal, your company made my phone and a whole bunch of other useless stuff. I really don’t care.”
In the background, the sound of the talk show switched back to music that matched what all the other TVs in the place were playing, while in front of him, (Oh, hang on, what was his name again? Uh…) Fox frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. “I really don’t get how you could just not recognize me,” he complained petulantly.
“Well, I don’t watch TV, and I don’t get out much, so…” He shrugged before taking another sip of his drink.
“Wow,” Fox muttered, shaking his head. “Guess it’s true what people say - you really are a crap king.”
“Excuse me?” Lucifer snapped, fixing him with a glare. Who did this Sinner think he was? Did he think that being some hot-shot CEO meant he had the right to criticize him? He had no idea what it was like ruling Hell! The struggles, the setbacks, the toll it took…. No one understood, and least of all some Sinner.
“You have absolutely no awareness of what’s going on in your kingdom,” Fox insisted matter-of-factly, sounding almost bored as he gestured with one hand. “And it’s not just the little things, either. What kind of king doesn’t know what’s happening on his own doorstep?” he scoffed before taking a sip of his drink. “I bet you wouldn’t care if all of Hell burned down tomorrow.”
He could feel a flush creeping up his neck as he set his shoulders defensively. “Yes, I would!”
“Really?” He arched an eyebrow skeptically. “Because you’re sure not doing anything to make sure it doesn’t.”
Lucifer slammed his glass down on the bar angrily. “You don’t know what I’m doing for Hell!”
“No,” Fox agreed casually, wiping off a drop of liquid that had splashed onto his sleeve. “But I know what you’re not doing. You’re not paying attention. And in that regard, being a king is no different from being a CEO - if you don’t pay attention, you have no control over what happens. You’re just lucky there are demons like me to step up to keep things in order and provide the good people with their necessities,” he added with a return of his sharp smile.
“‘Good people’?” he repeated dryly.
The demon laughed, and to Lucifer’s surprise, it sounded almost genuine. “Alright, evil assholes, but you catch more flies with honey and all that,” he acknowledged with a grin, his expression softening into something more thoughtful as he looked at Lucifer out of the corner of his eye. “You know, if you weren’t such a dick to your people - and, you know, actually made an effort - they would probably respect you more.”
“I’m not a dick,” Lucifer grumbled, glowering down at his drink. Sinners showing respect, that was a good one. He was pretty sure that was actually impossible. “I only treat people how they treat me.”
Fox snorted as he took another drink of his whiskey. “Your Majesty, I bought you a drink and you got snappy with me.” There was no accusation in his tone this time, just a thin layer of amusement.
“Well, you were clearly trying to get something from me!” He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, refusing to admit that a small (tiny, minuscule, really) part of him admired the no-nonsense way that Fox was calling him out. It wasn’t often that someone was so bold with him, and even less often that their brazenness came across in a way that Lucifer could kind of, almost respect. (And the fact that Fox had laughed at his ‘good people’ comment in a way that was almost companionable had absolutely nothing to do with that judgment, thank you very much.)
“So?” Fox pressed, raising an eyebrow as though Lucifer hadn’t raised any kind of relevant point. “People try to get stuff from me every day. Doesn’t stop me from playing nice until they get out of my face. After all, I wouldn’t want to lose any fans. The more people that like you, the more sway you hold. So, given that no one likes you, you hold…” He paused for dramatic effect as he leaned in with a shit-eating grin. “No sway here in Hell. It doesn’t matter how powerful you are, if no one gives a shit. Which brings us back to, you clearly aren’t doing much for Hell because what can you do when you can’t even command the respect of your people?”
And there went any pseudo-favorable feelings Lucifer had been having towards the demon. “No one can command respect down here,” he insisted hotly.
A smirk twisted across his screen. “Oh, so just because you can’t do it, it must mean no one can, is that right?”
“Well…” He pursed his lips as he trailed off, his eyes darting to the side. He was the Devil, the king of this realm and the most powerful being the 7 layers had ever seen. So… yeah… if people didn’t respect him, then who would they respect? Sure, Sinners could scare other demons into selling their souls and following them, but that was a far cry from inspiring real respect.
Fox chuckled as he set down his drink and got to his feet, straightening out his lapels. “Watch and learn.”
Lucifer’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned, really not sure where he was going with this. But he was just curious enough to turn around, watching the television demon approach a young, fly-like Sinner, who was leaning up against a nearby wall with their drink.
“Hello!” he greeted genially, holding out his hand. “Have I seen you here before?”
The fly’s eyes impressively grew even wider, and they hastily straightened up and shook the offered hand. “Yeah, I come here a lot!”
“I thought so!” Fox replied, and Lucifer snorted, certain he would have said that whichever way the other demon had answered. He had to admit, it was a decent tactic. “And I’m kicking myself right now, but I don’t think I ever got your name.”
“Oh, that’s okay!” they assured excitedly. “I’m Housy, and I of course know who you are! What can I do for you, Mr. Vox?”
Wait… was that his name? That was different from what Lucifer had been calling him in his head, wasn’t it?
“Well, I know this is out of left field, so absolutely no pressure here,” name-ending-in-ox assured warmly. “But I’m conducting some random consumer surveys, and I was wondering if you could tell me what, in your opinion, is the best thing about VoxTek?”
“I’d love to!” they answered immediately. “I mean, I love the products - they’re always top of the line! And the shows are the best! But… I guess the best thing would have to be you, because it all comes from your mind, right? And you always know what the next new thing is gonna be! I… really look up to you, sir,” they added nervously, and the furrow of Lucifer’s brow deepened. They looked up to a Sinner? Didn’t they know there were better role models, even in Hell?
“You flatter me,” the television demon chirped with a dazzling smile and a very slight uptick in the static in his voice, almost as though he’d gotten too excited to control it. “And actually, there is one more thing you can do for me.”
“Anything!”
“We’re looking for test subjects for a new top-secret product we’re working on at VoxTek,” he explained as he pulled a card out of his pocket and offered it out. “I think you’d be perfect. This is my assistant’s number - you can call him to sign up.”
Artwork by HasBeenHellWolf
Alarm bells went off in Lucifer’s head, and he quickly jumped to his feet and raced over to them, grabbing the fly-demon’s wrist just as they accepted the card from… Box (Was that too on the nose?). “Stop. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
The Sinner’s face contorted as they immediately jerked their arm away, and Lucifer let them because he didn’t want to hurt them by holding on. “I’ll do what I fucking want. Wait, you’re…” Their eyes grew wide again, though this time with more panic than admiration, and they crossed their arms over their chest, shoulders jutting up defensively. “Just cause you’re a king, doesn’t mean you’re the boss of me,” they snapped.
Okay, see, that was the attitude Lucifer was used to from Sinners. But still, he couldn’t just let them sign up for whatever kind of inhumane testing Box had in store for them. “He’s asking to experiment on you,” he insisted. “In what universe is that a good idea? He doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”
“And you do?” the fly threw back at him, voice wavering and jumping in pitch. “I’ve been following him for years, and I didn’t even know Hell had a king until you randomly showed up during last extermination. So, you can take your advice and-and shove it up your ass.” Lucifer blinked in surprise as the Sinner quickly shuffled away from him, inclining his head towards Box as he went. “Thank you for the opportunity, sir. I’ll call first thing tomorrow!”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Box enthused with a grin, leering at Lucifer from the corner of his eyes. “I’ll let you get back to enjoying your night.” He turned back to the bar, patting Lucifer’s shoulder with false sympathy as he went.
Lucifer looked after him for a second before turning almost desperately back to the fly Sinner, but they had already disappeared into the crowd. He gave a defeated sigh and slowly made his way back to the bar.
“Two more,” Box was telling the bartender as Lucifer reclaimed his seat.
“Why did they just listen to you?” he hissed almost more to himself, staring morosely down at the bar. “You’re a Sinner - you’re clearly up to no good! And I rule over all of this and no one ever listens to me.”
“Because I’ve been building my media empire and endearing myself to the public for over sixty years,” he touted. “Meanwhile, you were handed a kingdom and thought it wouldn’t crumble to dust if you did nothing and left it to rot. I contribute to Hell. You don’t.”
Lucifer winced, not liking how true the television demon’s words rang. In just sixty years, Box seemed to have built a following and had created apparently numerous products and services for the people of Hell. Sixty years may seem like a lot to someone who had lived a human life, but to someone who had been around since before the dawn of time, it was nothing. There was no denying that everything Box had built was impressive.
Meanwhile, Lucifer had been in Hell since its creation. And he had contributed to it. A lot. In the beginning. But after years of seeing what so many humans did with his gift of free will, and then how much worse they got once they landed in Hell… he had stopped seeing the point. Maybe Box had been right before. Maybe Lucifer had stopped caring if Hell went up in flames because it just wasn’t worth the effort of keeping it running.
But he didn’t want to think like that. He wanted to care, dammit! Charlie had shown him that things could be different. He just had to make the effort. Pay attention.
Lucifer waited until the bartender had dropped off their drinks, then he looked over at Box through narrowed eyes. “What are you going to do to that Sinner?” he demanded in a low, dangerous voice.
The television demon shrugged, unperturbed by Lucifer’s tone. “Personally? Nothing. They’ll be working directly with Development.”
“Undergoing experiments,” he accused.
Box rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I’m planning on torturing them. We just sometimes develop products that might have some adverse effects - nausea, seizures, vertigo, that kind of crap. We recruit testers all the time, and some even volunteer regularly, they’re so excited to aid in developing VoxTek’s products. Like I said, I want people to like me. I have a reputation to uphold.”
Oh. Okay, well that didn’t sound… too terrible, Lucifer reasoned, the fight draining out of him as he sipped at his drink. Which was surprising, to say the least. He’d never thought about Sinners as wanting to paint themselves as anything but deranged psychopaths. But while the psychopath part he wasn’t ruling out just yet, Box definitely didn’t seem deranged. Actually, he seemed… pretty reasonable. Intelligent, capable; a narcissist, sure, and yeah, he’d been a bit of an asshole, but there’d been a lot of truth to what he’d said. Even if it hurt Lucifer to admit it. So, maybe he should give him a chance. It was what Charlie would do, right?
“Okay, Box,” Lucifer sighed as he turned to face him more fully. “What is it you want from me?” He wasn’t committing to doing anything for this Sinner, but he was at least willing to humor him. It didn’t hurt to ask, after all.
Box raised his eyebrows as he turned to look at him, his mouth compressed into a thin line. “First of all, you can get my name right. It’s Vox.” Oops. “And frankly, I just thought you’d be a good connection to have. But clearly, I miscalculated.”
“Um, I would be a super useful connection,” he immediately refuted indignantly.
“Really?” he challenged skeptically.
“Yeah! You know, I can-” He quickly cut himself off, his eyebrows shooting up when he realized what Vox (Ha! Got it!) was trying to do here. “Oh. Alright, that was clever,” he admitted, only a bit reluctantly. He’d been so smooth, Lucifer almost hadn’t caught the subtle manipulation, trying to get him to give up something for free in order to ‘prove his worth’, but he found he couldn’t even be upset about it. It wasn’t often that someone came so close to getting one over on him, and it was kind of refreshing to banter with someone who could actually keep him on his toes, for a change. Fuck, he’d almost go so far as to say it was thrilling. But that was a dangerous line of thought, so he wouldn’t be saying that.
Vox’s eyes went wide, clearly not used to being caught in his manipulations, but then a grin spread over his face, looking more genuine than anything Lucifer had seen from him yet. It was nice. “Thanks! Guess you’ve been around the block a few too many times to be fooled by that, huh?”
“Just a few,” he agreed with the barest hint of a smile, himself. What other real emotions were hiding behind that screen, he wondered.
“Ah, well,” he lamented, waving a hand dismissively. “I honestly didn’t have anything in mind. But I’m an opportunist, so I wasn’t gonna let the chance to network with the King of Hell pass me by.”
Lucifer’s expression faded into something more bitter. “Why bother? I thought I held no sway here?”
Vox gave a low chuckle. “Well, maybe we can help each other, then. I get the power of the Devil himself behind me, and you get my help improving your standing in Hell.”
Ah, there it was. “You can’t honestly think I’d accept any kind of deal with you?” he scoffed.
“No,” he answered easily with a careless shrug. “But like I said, I’m an opportunist. And it rarely hurts to ask.”
Lucifer blinked in surprise. He’d expected that Vox would try to press him more to talk him into the deal, or would get angry that he’d turned him down. The understanding was something Lucifer rarely got, even from the other Sins. And it almost made him reconsider. Almost.
Instead, he offered Vox a full, genuine smile. “No, it doesn’t.”