not sure how i got there (all roads they lead me here)

by celestialmoth

Summary:

Tommy takes a sharp breath and pushes away his reeling thoughts. He’s in Techno’s cabin, and he’s in the past.

It makes too much sense and no sense at all.

At least Tommy is really, truly sure he’s not dead now because his heart is thundering in his chest.

or, tommy dies in prison and is given a second chance.

prompt: time travel!

Notes:

• For Oscared.

The world is one huge joke and Tommy is the punchline.

That’s the only explanation he can think of as he stares into the roaring flames of the fireplace. He’s curled up in an armchair, and he’s safe and warm and comfortable. If that’s not a joke in itself.

The blanket he’s tucked under is so soft he thinks for a second that maybe he is actually dead and this is just whatever’s on the other side.

Because that’s the other thing. Tommy should be dead.

That’s how the server works, three lives and then you’re done. And if you’re unlucky enough, your ghost will go around and haunt the people you once knew as a pale mockery of the version that used to be alive.

But, he isn’t a ghost, he doesn’t think. He glances down at his hands to check and they have none of the pale translucence he remembers on Ghostbur. 

But Tommy should be dead. Dream killed him in prison, he’s sure of it. Tommy had felt his life slip away from him and it was just like those first two times, falling back into the veil of darkness. And no matter how many times he had wished for it all to be a horrible nightmare, he’d spent too long trapped in that cell, pacing and panicking and calling out to Sam, to actually believe it now.

And, even if somehow that whole thing was a dream, there is no reason why he should be here.

Why, why, why, of all places, what is he doing here?

Tommy doesn’t need to look through the window and see the arctic winds sweeping snow across the yard to know exactly where he is. Tommy would know this place with his eyes closed, just from the muffled sound of the dogs barking outside, from the texture of the armchair’s fabric under his fingertips, from the smell of potatoes and parchment paper.

He is in Techno’s cabin.

He stares into the fire and suddenly the warmth is too much. Tommy lurches up from the armchair, the blanket tangling around his legs when he moves too fast. He kicks it away desperately, almost tripping over himself, but manages to stumble away free and regain his balance.

He darts to the middle of the room and then pauses. Because he knows where he is, but he doesn’t have the slightest idea where to go.

And of course, because the world is a joke and apparently hates Tommy personally, it’s at this moment that the front door swings open and Techno steps inside.

Tommy freezes like a deer in headlights. 

It’s really not fair because this time Tommy actually hasn’t done anything wrong, but he doubts that Techno will believe his explanation. Hell, he doesn't even know what his explanation is.

But either way it probably doesn’t matter because Techno is very much a stab first, ask questions later kind of guy and Tommy is very much not on his good side at the minute.

Instead of stabbing him though, Techno sighs. “Tommy,” he says.

Tommy, like he isn’t the least bit surprised to catch him standing in his living room. Tommy, like the last time they talked to each other wasn’t during Doomsday, shouting and angry and hurt. Tommy , like he’d spared him anything more than a cold glare since then.

Tommy, like any of this is normal.

Something is horribly, horribly wrong and Tommy is going to fall head-first into it unless he figures out what and fast.

“Techno, look I didn’t– I’m sorry I didn’t mean– I don’t even know how I got here, really, I’m gonna go I won’t be in your way I promise, I’m sorry—”

Techno sighs again and closes the door behind him, effectively cutting off both Tommy’s spew of apologies and his way of escape.

“Tommy, we talked about this. We’re… associates. You’re not going anywhere. You’re welcome here, we’re allies.” 

He hangs up his axe on its mount on the door and Tommy can’t help but notice how it gleams wickedly in the firelight. None of this makes sense, they’re not associates, much less allies. Techno hates him and wouldn’t hesitate to kill him if the opportunity arises.

Except here Tommy is, ‘opportunity’ practically stamped on his forehead and Techno is just standing there, decidedly not killing him. Not even threatening to kill him. None of this is right.

“B-But what about Tubbo? And the Community House? And Doomsday?”

Techno frowns. Ah, well that makes more sense at least. Tommy’s heart stutters. It’s doing a weird squeezing thing in his chest and he breathes slowly and quietly through his mouth to steady it.

Stupid, can’t keep your mouth shut, should’ve just counted yourself lucky instead of pushing.

But Techno’s voice is level when he speaks. “Well, Tubbo, I know he’s your friend Tommy, but he’s also President. And power corrupts. And that other stuff, the uh, doomsday? I’m… sure it’ll turn out alright.”

It’s Tommy’s turn to frown. Tubbo president? Doomsday turn out alright?

It’s a slow kind of realization, one he feels in his gut before his brain understands it, the knot in his stomach opening up into a deep pit. Things are clicking in his mind and with every piece that slots into place, Tommy sinks a little further in his dawning horror.

Tubbo president—but this isn’t possible—Techno not at all surprised to see him in his house—it can’t be real—the dogs barking outside—I was just in prison—when’s the last time he and Techno were allies—

Tommy takes a sharp breath and pushes away his reeling thoughts. He’s in Techno’s cabin, and he’s in the past.

It makes too much sense and no sense at all.

At least Tommy is really, truly sure he’s not dead now because his heart is thundering in his chest.

“I– I need to—”

He runs. Tommy scrambles for the stairs and Techno lets him, stepping aside silently. He races up to the bathroom and slams the door shut, pressing his forehead to it and breathing in deeply, his hands curled around the handle. His knees feel weak but he refuses to slide to the floor. 

He takes another breath and then, when he’s mostly sure he won’t collapse as soon as he lets go, straightens and takes a wobbly step towards the mirror.

He looks… well, mostly the same as he always looks so, like shit. Dark half-moons under his eyes, carved cheeks and chapped lips. But there are some things that, if he’s right, will be different.

He raises a shaky hand to his shirt and tugs down the collar. The bite mark from one of Techno’s hounds on Doomsday is nowhere to be found. Tommy stares at the bare skin for probably longer than it makes sense to.

In his defense, he’s trying not to start hyperventilating. 

He pulls his shirt—not his shirt, this is one of Techno’s—back over his shoulder and stares blankly into the mirror. 

He’s in the past.

Before the prison, before the final disc war, before Doomsday…

If he thinks about it, this is the moment before everything went catastrophically and irreparably wrong. Right now, things are still alright. 

Which is funny because if you’d asked Tommy at this time he would have said that this was his lowest point ever, and that things couldn’t get much worse. How wrong he would be.

L’Manberg is still standing. Tommy still has his third life. Techno is still an… ally. At this time Tommy would even have called him a brother.

And Dream… is still free.

Struck by a sudden thought, Tommy whirls around and barrels out of the bathroom. He almost collides with Techno who is just coming up the stairs, but ignores the man’s surprised grunt and bee-lines for his room.

Techno’s room has an enderchest tucked at his bedside and Tommy all but crashes to the ground to kneel in front of it. He throws the chest open, it hisses and whispers around him as he does, and finds two empty slots where he’d  once again grown used to seeing his discs.

Tommy grips the lip of the chest tightly, knuckles going white.

“Tommy?” comes Techno’s voice from behind him, “Any reason why you’re barging into my room like a wild racoon?”

Oh, that was a thing wasn’t it, during Tommy’s stay here. It wasn’t an explicit rule (in fact Techno had given him permission on multiple accounts), but Tommy in all his time with Techno he had never stepped foot in his room, at most hovering just behind the doorframe.

“I– I didn’t–”

“It’s fine, Tommy,” Techno says with a huff. “You alright?”

Tommy’s shoulders sag and he reaches into the chest, his hand closing around empty air. “We need to get my discs back, Techno.”

There’s a hesitant pause, and then he answers, “Yes, Tommy, it’s on the wall remember? But first we need to get my weapons back and—”

“No, we need to get them back!” Tommy jumps to his feet and spins around to face Techno. “Everything– the whole server is better after, it’ll all be fixed, and– and Dream—”

Tommy falters at the name. 

Dream is free. He’s out there and he’s looking for Tommy, hunting Tommy as he speaks.

“Techno…” Tommy chokes out, a desperate plea, and the rest of the words die on his tongue.

Techno frowns and moves closer, slowly and deliberately, one step at a time. “It’s alright,” he soothes.

Tommy isn’t so sure.

“We’ll figure it out. We can work on getting your discs back after I have my weapons. And you don’t have to worry about Dream, he won’t try anything while you’re my ally.”

It would be reassuring. It would’ve been before, except now Tommy remembers Techno and Dream standing side by side in the Community House, a savage glint in Techno’s eye that was undoubtedly reflected behind Dream’s mask.

Techno, got any withers?

Oh, I’m liking where this is going.

Tommy’s legs are shaking and he doesn’t know anymore.

Techno closes the distance. He settles his hands on his shoulders and it’s supposed to be grounding, used to be comforting, but it burns. Tommy flinches away violently, he needs to get away.

Dream’s fists coming down on all sides, he slams one into his temple and Tommy sees stars, he tries to scramble away but trips and then he is on the ground and Dream is there and the obsidian is closing in on him and Tommy thinks he’s bleeding, thinks he’s dying, there’s something ringing in his ears but there aren’t supposed to be any more explosions now that the prison is in lockdown, his heart hammers painfully in his chest, he can’t breathe.

Techno steps away, not far but it helps and he doesn’t feel quite so trapped.

Tommy needs Dream to be locked away. He needs to put him back in prison and then never go near there again. He won’t make the same mistake twice. He has been given another chance and he isn’t going to fuck it up this time. 

Just the thought of the man makes his heart squeeze with fear and Tommy really doesn’t want to find out how he’ll react when actually faced with him.

But for that he needs to defeat him and so Tommy needs his discs back. 

That’s how they managed once, they can do it again.

“Techno, please.”

Techno… he’s not sure if Techno will help, but maybe if Tommy can convince him. Maybe if he can explain that L’Manberg isn’t hurting anyone, that Tubbo is his friend and is good, that the true evil is the puppeteer behind it all…

“Okay. Okay, Tommy,” Techno says.

Then he is gone. 

Tommy doesn’t go after him. He doesn’t know what he’d say when he catches up. Instead he just focuses on not falling to the ground and on keeping his breaths steady. 

He has time to think, too. 

Techno wants to destroy L’Manberg. That’s what he’s focusing on right now. He won’t be stopped, and he clearly showed that he was going to go through with its annihilation with or without Tommy. Tommy’s heart aches at the thought.

He wants so badly to just be able to live in L’Manberg, to exist within the walls without the threat of war and the stress of political struggles looming over him. He loves his nation for what it is, a little corner of land where he used to spend time with the people he loves most.

But… Tubbo was happier after it was gone.

He never said it quite so outwardly but it was clear to see. In his mansion in Snowchester, Tubbo looked younger and more happy than he had since independence. 

Tommy hadn’t been happy after Doomsday, but he wasn’t happy before either. He isn’t happy now. He thinks maybe he wants to change that.

Techno comes back, and at his heels is a dog. The hound wags her tail happily and she bounds over to Tommy, jumping up to paw at his knees.

Tommy kneels, scratching her head, and her tail bats the air even harder.

She doesn’t bark and Tommy wonders if Techno chose this one on purpose because of that.

He pets the dog for a moment, feeling the tightness in his chest loosen amazingly. His racing thoughts slow to just him and the soft fur under his hands.

“Techno…” Tommy tries when he feels significantly calmer. The dog licks his face and he pushes her away gently, smiling as she demands his attention. “Techno, do you have to destroy L’Manberg?”

Tommy can’t be sure, keeping his eyes trained on the dog, but he thinks Techno stiffens.

“Well… yes.”

Tactful as ever. At least he’s not a liar.

Tommy closes his eyes, digging his fingers into warm fur and feeling the heartbeat underneath. 

“Don’t you think there are other ways?”

“No,” Techno answers without missing a beat. While he speaks firmly and definitely, there is none of the prickly defensive tone Tommy is used to hearing when he talks about L’Manberg. Although maybe that’s because Tommy has never actually talked to Techno about L’Manberg, their conversations devolving into shouting matches (mostly on his end) as soon as the subject was brought up. “As long as that country is habitable, people will continue to live there and keep it alive. It’s like a parasite, you have to completely purge it at the source or it will keep coming back.”

“I think there are other ways,” Tommy says simply.

Techno is silent, and when Tommy looks up he finds a small puzzled frown creasing his face.

“Are you alright, Tommy?”

Tommy almost laughs, but he’s not sure how it would come out so instead he rolls his eyes, “Prime, yes I’m fine Techno. I’m just… I think we need to, I don’t know, do things.”

“Ah yes, ‘do things’, precise as ever,” Techno remarks dryly.

“Just, like, talk. To Tubbo. Without threatening him first. And get my discs. And… not team up with Dream.”

“Dream? Why would we team up with him? That guy’s kind of a loser, you know.”

Tommy snorts, “He is.”

Techno stares at him and Tommy doesn’t hold it, turning back to the dog who has flopped down on the ground and is demanding belly scratches.

“Okay, I won’t,” Techno finally says after a long pause.

Tommy breathes a silent sigh of relief. This doesn’t mean that Techno actually won’t, not really. But it feels like more progress than they had made in all the months Tommy was here the first time. 

It feels like maybe things will go a little better this time around. 

Notes:

tommy being panicked and confused and techno not batting and eye/see anything weird abt his behavior bc post-exile tommy was also just Like that

i love them <3

thanks for reading!