The Pieces We Are

by P3n9uin

Summary:

Aubrey wakes up in a hospital. It’s been two years since she last visited one.

A chance encounter with someone long-forgotten gives her hope.

Notes:

Here's my attempt at something more long-form. I don't have a plan set in stone, so we're just kinda going.

Chapter 1: A Flag With No Wind

Everything is okay.

 

Just okay.

 

Sunny wakes up in his apartment, taking in the bright sunlight coming in through the blinds. It’s been almost two years since he moved, but he still thinks of it as new. Nothing will ever feel as homely as Faraway did.

 

School ends in just a couple weeks, so he doesn’t really have much to do. He’s been exhausted all year trying to catch up with his studies, and sometimes he just feels like sleeping in all day like he used to.

 

But he can’t let himself fall into that trap again.

 

Besides school, the only real hobbies he has are video games and drawing, both of which are pretty intensive on his hands. His fingers and wrists still ache from staying inside all day yesterday, so neither of those things are an option right now. Maybe he’ll just go for a walk. It’s healthy, or something. 

 

His mom has been around more, but she’s not home right now. As Sunny makes himself breakfast, he feels… nothing, really. It’s just a normal day. This is what he wanted, right? To be normal, like everyone else. He’s moved on from everything. 

 

He pours the cereal into a bowl with no milk. It’s as bland as ever. He stares into space, chewing the dry cereal, trying as hard as he can to think of nothing. Eventually, his only thought is that his throat is dry, so he goes to get some water from the sink.

 

Sunny grabs a plastic bag before he makes his way out the door, taking the elevator to the ground level. As he walks out into the street, he thinks of something someone said to him a while back. She’d wanted him to take care of himself. So, he has. But not for her sake anymore; at least, that’s what he wants to believe.

 

She couldn’t care less what I do with myself now.

 

The only contact he has with Faraway are a few letters here and there with Basil. The letters have only grown more rare as time goes on, as they’ve run out of things to say. Life seems so mundane nowadays. Sunny can’t help but feel like it’s his own fault, as his letters are often much shorter than Basil’s. He doesn’t like thinking this way, but it’s also probably because Basil and Kel are very close now… very, very close. Basil doesn’t really need him for anything anymore. Kel never has.

 

He’s not jealous of them specifically (well, that’s what he tells himself); he just wishes he had someone like that. Someone whom he can tell everything, who won’t judge him for his shortcomings, who will hold him and comfort him, who truly understands him. 

 

Someone like Mari.

 

He doesn’t deserve someone like that.

 

Sunny picks up any trash he sees on the side of the road, storing all of it in the bag he brought. He can’t believe that he was just stuffing the trash in his pockets back in Faraway…

 

Despite living in the big city, his favorite place has always been the park. It’s much more spacious than Faraway Park, and there aren’t really any secret spots, but it’s calming in its own way. Even still, he can’t help but compare everything to its equivalent in his hometown. The pizzeria down the street, for example, is hardly as good as Gino’s. At least the manager has better handwriting.

 

He’s not exactly popular with people his age, but a lot of the adults around town know him because of the work he does. They always tell him how he’s such a good person for doing community service, how kids his age are so selfish and misguided these days. He just shrugs, knowing he owes the universe a debt that can’t be paid.

 

Picking up litter makes it feel like he’s contributing to something. It helps him feel a bit better about himself. And even when he was younger, before… all that… he did care about the environment, and especially about recycling.

 

The old man at the recycling booth waves to him as he approaches. “Hey, Sunny! How are ya?”

 

He shrugs. “I’m fine.”

 

“Somethin’ wrong?”

 

Huh? How was that response any different than normal?

 

“Uh… no?” He sets down the bag of trash.

 

“You sure? You seem a bit down.”

 

“...no, I think I’m always like this…?”

 

The man frowns. “You’re not like all those other kids, son. You’re mature far beyond your age. That expression you wear… it should only be reserved for old people like me.”

 

Sunny sighs. “I don’t know, I just feel… aimless. I don’t feel like doing anything, but I make myself.”

 

Maybe I’ve said too much.

 

“Spoken like a true retiree.” He chortles.

 

“But… you are helpin’. I know it’s hard to see progress for something like this.”

 

“I know. I’m just selfish, I think.”

 

“Nah, son. Far from it. Maybe all you need is for more people to tell ya that.”

 

“...thanks.”

 

“You like volunteering, Sunny? You can stop any time you want, y’know. Plenty more things to do in this life.”

 

“It’s… complicated.” At his core, Sunny does enjoy helping people. It’s a gratifying feeling that he can’t get anywhere else. But the real reason he does it, the one he tells himself, is because he wants to make up for his past mistakes. To prove that he has a place in this world, that he’s worth something. Prove it to whom? Well, it’s not like anything he does really changes his opinion of himself. So maybe to some higher power, or something like that. Or to his mother, who’s always more proud of him than he feels that he deserves.

 

He would love to prove his worth to his sister.

 

But he’s scared to admit that, so he lies to himself that it’s all for some kind of God. It’s more reasonable than expecting his former friends to ever look at him in any positive light.

 

“Mm. Complicated.” The man ponders for a bit. “Makes you think, huh? Why should I care about all these guys?” He chuckles, gesturing to the people around the park. “But we do.”

 

Sunny shifts a little. Do I really?

 

“Yeah, you do. I can tell.”

 

But I pushed away the ones I cared about most.

 

Maybe I do want to help people…

 

But I’ll never let them get that close to me again.

 

All his life, he’s mostly been an observer. He’s always in the background, hoping not to be noticed, waiting to be the one approached rather than doing the approaching. He’s always nervous to hear gossip about himself in the halls at school, where people think he’ll pull out a gun one day, where they’re just waiting for him to crack. He’d prefer they didn’t know he existed, but at least it keeps them away from him. He’s seen people sidestep him on the street, maybe because of his scar, or because of his soulless expression. They think he’s dangerous. They think he’s a problem. They think he’s a murderer.

 

They’re right.

 

“I…I should go now.” He waves awkwardly and begins walking away.

 

“Alright. Just one more thing. I think working with real people would do ya some good. So you can see that you’re appreciated.”

 

“I’ll… consider it. Thanks.”

 

“Maybe tutor some younger kids, volunteer at a hospital. It’s good work.”

 

He’s had enough of hospitals for a lifetime. But… it does sound nice, taking care of someone. They won’t even get that close to him; as soon as they get discharged, they’ll forget he was ever there. 

 

Huh. I don’t know that guy’s name.

 

That man has always been nice to him. Maybe he’s just lonely, or bored of sitting there all day. Sunny’s mind starts to run wild with the possibilities. Maybe, somehow, he could relate to him. He’s also hiding a dark secret. He could be a veteran. Or a doctor. Or a police officer. He killed someone in a war. He had a near death experience, through a car crash, a mugging, something like that. Maybe he suffered some tragic loss in his family, his life feels unfulfilled, he never got to do something, never applied for that job, never asked out that girl, never said goodbye to someone he loved.

 

Sunny’s imagination continues as he walks home. Maybe he was an adventurer, a pilot, a ship captain. A tinker, a tailor, a soldier, a sailor… the possibilities are endless.

 

Maybe… he’s just an old guy.

 

You can really get a lot done in one lifetime... It must be so hard to watch people your age die around you, knowing your time could be next.

 

It’s even harder when you’re young.

 

Sunny flexes his fingers as he walks. The cramps haven’t gone away, but he feels motivated to draw something. It wouldn’t be his first time drawing while in pain. Some part of him feels like it means he’s trying harder.

Sunny finishes a rough sketch of the man. He doesn’t usually draw people, with the exception of his old friends. It seems like he’ll never escape them, no matter how much he wants to.

 

He also draws his late sister quite frequently, in an effort to never forget her face. Sure, he has Basil’s photo album for that… but he’d prefer not to look at it too much. Especially those last ones, taken right before the recital. One night, shortly after he moved in, he’d been tempted to black out the photos again. But somehow, some kind of clarity washed over him, and he stopped himself. Now the album just sits in his closet, waiting to be forgotten for good.

 

Sunny winces in pain as the lead on his pencil breaks. He’s been drawing for hours now, even attempting to switch hands to provide some relief, which is unfortunately a common occurrence. It’s as unhelpful as always, but if he just keeps trying, maybe one day it’ll work… He’s completely skipped lunch, trying over and over to get the face right, and drawing with his non-dominant hand has only slowed down the process.

 

It’s good enough, I guess.

 

He knows that he can’t carry on like this. Something has to change before he loses function of his hands. He feels tired enough to go to bed right now, but that’s not an option in his mind. The Sun has hardly even set. 

 

It’s so unfair. All he wants to do is nothing, but he’s already done that for four years. He made a promise to stay productive, to be the perfect child his parents always wanted. He can’t afford to take a break now.  But at the same time, there’s only so many things to do for the day. He can do as many chores as he wants, but eventually there won’t be any more laundry, won’t be more dishes to do, no more floors to sweep, no more dust to clean off the shelves. 

 

And… Sunny hates doing chores. Why does he do this to himself…?

 

Maybe he’ll look for some stable job in the city, some other volunteer work, anything to keep himself occupied and on a fixed schedule. It should be good for him, right? So why does it feel so wrong?

 

He doesn’t even really care for the money. He knows his mom makes more than enough to take care of them. He’s even settled on a university already, close by in the city, and he’s all but guaranteed to get in. So what’s even the point of… anything? He could laze away if he wanted, drop his grades in school, stop working entirely. He's heard that high school seniors tend to do that. He’s successful, he’s conquered his demons, has everything he could ever want, and he’s on track to have a good life looking forward. But it doesn’t feel like it.

 

Because something’s missing.

 

And he won’t ever let himself find it again.

 

“Sunny?” He hears knocks at his door. “Dinner’s ready in 5.”

 

He walks up to his bedroom door, locking his fingers together, hoping the pain will go away somehow. 

 

Not the pain in his hands, of course.

Chapter 2: The Oasis

Basil wakes up in his grandmother’s old bed. There’s still bloodstains in his room, and even after they’re cleaned, he’s not too eager to go back there again. And now, everyone knows his secret, so he can’t go outside either. This room is his sanctuary, his safe haven. As he gazes at the white egret orchid, he wishes that he’d been honest with his grandma before she passed away. She would’ve known exactly what to do, how to fix everything, would help him get his friends back. But he was too scared, even while she was on her deathbed, and now she’s gone.

 

“Hey, Basil?” Polly strokes his hair. “You… have a visitor.”

 

His heart pounds. No matter who it is, this can’t be good. “I-I don’t want to see them.”

 

“Please, Basil… he wants to see you. And… you need to go outside.”

 

“Mmmmurgh…” He rolls over and closes his eyes. “Just go away…” He really wishes this door had a lock on it. 

 

To his surprise, he hears Polly step out of the room.

 

She’s basically been his mom these past few days since he returned from the hospital. She cares for him, scolds him, gives him chores to do, just as a mom should. He’s not really used to someone… caring for him like this. Sure, his parents called in to the hospital, said they loved him or something, promised they’d be home soon… But they probably hoped he wouldn’t hear the next part, where he overheard them tell Polly that she’d be receiving at least six months more of pay for taking care of him.

 

It’s fine. He doesn’t need them.

 

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and someone starts shaking him. “Hey! Basil! Let’s hang out today!”

 

He opens his eyes to see Kel smiling in front of him, somehow beaming even wider than normal. He shrinks away a little, holding the pillow around his ears.

 

“W-what are you doing…”

 

“Uh… getting you out of here!” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“D-don’t waste your time on me…”

 

“What?” His face loses its smile for a moment, and he struggles to keep it up. “We’re… friends, you know? Nothing’s changed between us…”

 

“YES IT HAS!” He yells, tears welling in his eyes. “H-how can you say that?! You shouldn’t be here…”

 

“Basil…”

 

“Y-you can’t just… act like nothing happened. L-like I’m not just a-a psycho who’s ruined everyone’s lives…”

 

“Hey! Don’t… say that about yourself.” His voice dampens. His eyes aim straight at the ground.

 

Kel takes a deep breath. “Basil… you’re my friend, okay? Nothing can change that. And I… I saw that you weren’t coming out of your house, so…”

 

He rubs the back of his neck. “I… wanted to do something before I regret… doing nothing again.”

 

It took him a full year to help his brother find the will to live again. It took another three just to get Sunny outside for a couple days. Kel should be happy that he managed to do any of that in the first place, but it’s definitely taken a toll on him to think about all those years he wasted trying to distance himself and find new people. This time, he’s determined to get Basil out quickly and forcefully. He can’t let it happen again.

 

“B-but I… I’m not Sunny. I’m not as perfect, not as innocent. I’m not worth your time.”

 

“Just… let me rot.” Basil bundles himself in the blankets of his bed.

 

Kel picks him up with ease from under the covers. “Can’t let you do that.”

 

“Ahh! What are you…”

 

Basil sighs. Well, it doesn’t seem like he has a choice here. Kel slings him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

 

“Okay, okay… can you put me down…?”

 

“Promise you won’t run away?”

 

It’s not like I could outrun him if I tried…

 

“I promise…”

 

...

 

The two sit down on a park bench. “Man, I have so many things to tell you about! After Sunny left his house we went around and…”

 

Basil sighs, watching the animated giant in front of him. The cool summer breeze feels nice on his skin.

 

“…and then, we beat up Mikhael and got both his girls to leave him…”

 

He’s always anticipating for Kel to ask him about everything. About Mari, about stabbing Sunny’s eye out, every reason he’s a terrible person. But it never comes. He knows Kel is just trying to distract him… but it’s working pretty well. He finds himself actually laughing, invested in their ridiculous adventures, the lengths they went to to retrieve his precious photo album.

 

“Then, we passed by Aubrey’s house, and she threw it in the trash. So I… uh… dug through the trash to get it back!”

 

Basil chuckles a little. “I’m… glad you cared that much.”

 

“Of course! I’d dig through a whole landfill for you, you know?” 

 

Basil sees someone enter the park out of the corner of his eye. He instinctually cowers away from her. Kim walks around the entrance to the hangout spot, strangely alone. Her eyes meet his for a moment, and then she hangs her head and walks in.

 

“Basil…” Kel whispers. “Don’t… don’t worry about her, okay?” He grabs his hand.

 

“Y-yeah…”

 

“I’ll beat her up if she gets close! Haha!” Basil can tell he’s just trying to cheer him up, but his expression gives away his uncertainty. He’s always been good at reading people. It helped him out in card games when they were younger. No matter how much Kel tries to cover it up, Basil knows that he isn’t as dense as he seems. He’s supposed to be the comedic relief, someone who makes others smile with his own, and he’s very good at his job. Maybe one day he can convince him to let him go, smile for himself instead of for everyone else.

 

But for now… holding his hand feels pretty nice.

 

---

“Hey, Kel… does Hero know that you’ve been hanging out with me?” The boys sit at Basil’s dining room table, waiting for Polly to prepare some food.

 

“Uh… no. Hero… he left.” Kel scratches his head, looking away.

 

“…left? To where?”

 

“College, probably. I… we wanted him to stay. He just said he needed a break.”

 

Ironic…

 

So, I ruined his family reunion too. What haven’t I done…

 

“D-don’t worry! He’ll come around. He’s mature like that, being an adult and all, heh.”

 

“I guess that was too much to hope for. Thanks, Kel, for… hanging out with me these past couple days.”

 

“Anything for a friend!”

 

A friend…

 

‘It’s not fair,’ he tells himself. He doesn’t deserve friends, doesn’t deserve parents, hardly even deserves to live. He thinks of Sunny, now all alone in the city, with a new disability, and how tough it must be for him. Sunny isn’t the kind of person who makes friends easily, and his seemingly cold expression combined with his new scar makes him even less approachable. 

 

Basil loved him. Really, truly loved him. And he ruined it all. It’s taken a while to realize… but it’s the only explanation.

 

He loved how his eyes would gaze with silent wonder at every new photo taken, every page of every comic, every time Mari would play her piano. He loved how he would listen to his every issue, no matter how mundane or petty the complaint was. He loved every little detail on his face, its subtle changes that only a few people could detect. His soft, small smiles, his reddened ears after light teasing, his eyebrows focusing in deep concentration on a game… 

 

Trying to stay positive, Basil thinks of the small moment they were allowed in the hospital. Sunny had smiled, really smiled, and everything felt okay. Then, he had to leave, and that was that. Sunny had vanquished his demon, that thing behind him, and sacrificed everything to free Basil from his. And it was a steep cost, of course. But they were free. He hasn’t had nightmares ever since. Most of the guilt comes to him when he’s awake. Maybe that’s why Sunny stayed inside for so long. Basil can’t deny that he’d had the exact same idea, but in his case, he felt even more tormented inside than out. He distracted himself with schoolwork, tried confronting Aubrey about his photo album, anything to keep his thoughts from taking a turn for the worse. It didn’t help, of course, but being berated for something he didn’t do rather than something he did (that was much, much worse) was preferable.

 

So much for being positive…

 

Basil sighs, watching Kel scarf down his food in front of him. Somehow, it feels normal, like things can go back to how they were. It helps to be positive, he thinks. To look on the bright side. But it’s hard. So, so hard. Every day, he feels like giving up. But he keeps going, for Kel’s sake, for Polly’s sake, for Sunny’s sake. They do care. They do.

 

“Thanks so much, miss Polly!” Kel takes his empty plate and takes it to the sink to wash.

 

“Of course! Thank you for spending time with Basil. He really appreciates it.” She pinches Basil’s ear. “Right?”

 

“R-right… thank you, Kel…”

 

“That’s just what friends do! Don’t worry about it, Basil. It’s my pleasure!”

 

“Yeah, o-of course. See you later.” Basil picks at his food as Kel walks out the door.

 

“He’s a great kid, you know? There aren’t a lot of people like that.”

 

“Yeah. I wish he hadn’t… told you everything, though.”

 

She scoffs. “I know you weren’t going to.” She wraps her arms around him.

 

“Why weren’t you mad…?”

 

“You were traumatized! I can’t get mad at you for that. And honestly, Basil… it explains a lot. I think I understand you a little better now. You’re a tough case, and you’ve been through a lot. But I know you’re a good person at heart.”

 

“Y-you could just leave!” He blurts. “A-and not have to think anymore! I-I don’t…”

 

She tightens her grasp on him. “I’m not leaving, okay? Don’t you dare say that again.”

 

“…”

 

Basil just continues eating.

 

“You know, most kids wouldn’t think of doing… that. Your situation was tough, and I can’t really say it was the right move. But that just tells me that you’ve been struggling for a long, long time.”

 

“Th-there’s something wrong with me! I know, I know!” His fork clatters on the table.

 

“Hey!” She stares into his eyes, grabbing his shoulders. “Twelve-year-olds can’t be evil. Especially not when they grow into someone like you. You have something to overcome.”

 

He shudders when she says that word. Something. So vague, yet ominous.

 

“I d-don’t want to be evil… All I want… is to be normal…”

 

“Look around… Look at all the life you’ve maintained. The life you created, worked so hard to keep. You’re far more good than evil, you know?”

 

“...”

 

“Which one’s your favorite?” 

 

“…the sunflower.”

 

“Great! Someone who always faces the Sun, who needs to stay in the light. And I’ll be your caretaker, just like how you’re all of theirs.” She gestures to the plants around the room. “You know, to take care of flowers, you need to understand their needs. So help me out here, okay?”

 

That can’t just be a coincidence.

 

He tried so hard, so long ago, to be that sunflower. To face the Sun in more ways than one. But now he’s wilted, he’s different from all the others, and he’s about to be cut from the stem. 

 

And yet… the Sun still shines on him. Gives him hope, the light he needs to survive. It may never shine as bright as it used to. But it will always be there.

 

---

“Some mail came in this morning.” Polly hands Basil an envelope.

 

“...for me?” He’s nervous already. It’s just mail, why…? It’s probably from his parents, anyways. They send him money often, as if it makes up for their absence of love.

 

“Yes. I’ll let you read it in private.”

 

Basil retreats to his room, which has since been cleaned. He rearranged everything to make it stop reminding him of that night. It almost worked.

 

He sees that it’s from Sunny… he could almost cry. From happiness, from sadness, from fear, he doesn’t really know.

 

Basil,

 

I hope everything is well. Please know that I forgive you for everything. You matter to me.

 

I look forward to your gracious correspondence.

Sunny

 

“...gracious correspondence…?”

 

He almost laughs at the contrast between the simple letter and the extravagant signoff. At the same time, he’s frustrated that there isn’t more. Sunny’s never been one for words, but there are still so many things left unsaid between them. Basil quickly grabs some paper and a pen, grateful that Sunny hasn’t somehow sent a letter without a return address. If he wanted… he could choose to disappear completely. But he chose to reach out, and it proves that he does care.

 

---

“Hey, Kel… why are you friends with me? Do I have any redeeming qualities?” The boys sit on the blanket in their old hangout spot, watching the Sun set over the trees.

 

Kel tilts his head, confused. “What? You’re my friend. That’s all there is to it.”

 

“But… why?”

 

“Because you… are? It’s just like a fact of life.” Kel leans back to lay on the blanket with his arms behind his head, closing his eyes and relaxing.

 

“Okay, then… maybe a better question is, what do you like about me?”

 

“You’re… calm. You tell me when I’m doing too much, heh.” He scratches the back of his head.

 

“You know a lot, and you make things really fun to listen to, like your flowers, and you’re also a great listener yourself!”

 

“And… you care a lot about people. That’s why you wanted the photo album, right? Because you value our memories.”

 

“Especially… hers.” He looks wistfully into the distance at the pinkish sky.

 

“But I…”

 

“Nope. Stop.” Kel puts his finger over Basil’s mouth.

 

He blushes ever so slightly. “O-okay…”

 

Basil takes a couple deep breaths to calm himself. “Thanks, Kel. I… didn’t know you thought that about me.”

 

I’m sorry you’re wrong. But…

 

“I’ll try… to be that person. Someone who cares.”

 

“You’re doing a great job.” Kel slings his arm around his shoulder, forcing Basil to lay down with him.

 

Basil just smiles, feeling the cool evening air on his face. He hasn’t felt like this in a long time.

 

…

 

“Hey, are you gonna get a new flower for your hair? I kinda miss it.”

 

“O-oh, um… it wasn’t a real flower. But maybe I could try making something.”

 

Basil touches the spot the flower pin used to reside in before he got pushed into this very lake. He got teased for it at school once no one could defend him anymore. But for some reason, he kept it, and he has to admit that now, he feels sad that it’s gone. It was one thing that proved he still had some strength, some kind of perseverance. And if Kel likes it, then he can’t exactly say no…

 

---

It’s the end of summer now, and Basil can already feel the crisp autumn air setting in. Everything’s moving so fast now. He’s been going outside on his own, without needing any coercing, and he’s even made a couple new friends. There’s Mincy, the artist girl, who visits every week to draw his flowers, and that pretty boy on the bench, Justin. Unfortunately, he’s already taken… but Basil swears he can see constant sparkles around his face. They’ve made it a tradition to watch Kel and Jay, an older boy from the basketball team, practice together. 

 

There’s also Cris, the blue-haired girl, who is awfully close to Kel. He’s seen them hanging out all summer, and he can’t help but feel a little envy. They’re pretty much perfect for each other… both athletic, loud, assertive, really, really attractive…

 

No, he shouldn’t be thinking of Kel like that. He’s just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less (though he should be less, if he knows what’s good for him). Basil thinks himself selfish to even consider anything beyond that. Isn’t he grateful for what he has already? He’s been given a second chance at life.

 

“Hey, Basil! Is that a sunflower?” Kel points at his head.

 

“Yeah! I made a new pin for myself. Do you like it?” A subtle blush appears on his face as he averts his eyes.

 

“Yeah! Looks great!” Kel flashes his signature smile.

 

“U-um… I also… m-made something for you.”

 

Basil pulls out a cactus pin from his pocket, his hands shaking. “I, uh, want you to have it. M-maybe not in your hair… just like, for your shirt, and stuff…”

 

“Whoa!” Kel’s eyes sparkle with delight. “That’s so cool!” He takes it gently from Basil’s hands and fastens it to his jersey. “This’ll be my good luck charm! Thanks, Basil!”

 

“O-of course!”

 

I think I’m more bad luck than anything…

 

He sits down in his usual spot, watching the basketball court. Justin nudges him.

 

“So…”

 

“W-what?!”

 

“Are you gonna, you know? He’s not gonna do it first…”

 

“I-I’m not… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” His hands continue to tremble ever so slightly. Basil stares straight forward at the game in front of them.

 

“Alright… if you say so…”

 

…

 

“That gift is pretty personal, I assume?”

 

“Yeah… I, um, assign my friends flowers that represent them.”

 

“And he’s… a cactus?”

 

Kel dodges around Jay to score yet another point, pumping his fist in the air. “Wow, you’re playin’ pretty well today, Kel!”

 

Basil watches in excitement, keeping his eyes focused on the game. Though most of it is just practice, Kel hasn’t actually beaten Jay in a game yet all summer.

 

“Mhm. It’s because he’s resilient and steadfast.”

 

“I mean… is it really a flower though?”

 

“Yeah! There are plenty of flowers that grow on cacti! I have some, if you ever want to see.”

 

“Huh. Hey, can I be a rose? I love roses.”

 

“Well… I have… someone… who’s a rose already. But… I think it’s fine. There are so many different roses out there!”

 

“Hmm. That’s interesting to think about. So many roses to smell, so to speak, all in different walks of life…” He closes his eyes in deep thought.

 

“Uh… yeah!”

 

…

 

“You know, Jay got me to play with him a couple times. It’s different, and I wasn’t good at it, but it was fun!”

 

“Maybe we could do a two-versus-two one day, with both of our boyfriends…”

 

“H-he’s not my-“

 

“WOOOOOO!” Kel scores his final point, running around in excitement. He almost forgets to fist bump Jay before he comes over to the bench.

 

“Basil, did you see that?! I won!! All thanks to you!” He flashes the cactus pin, and Basil sees the sunlight glint off of it.

 

“Yeah, Kel, I knew you could- ack…” Kel bear hugs him, carrying him off the bench and into the air.

 

“…you’re all sweaty…” he manages to choke out, feigning annoyance. But he’s really, really happy. Hopefully Kel doesn’t notice his red face.

 

“O-oh, sorry. Got carried away, heh.” He puts Basil down, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “Did you see it, though? That was awesome!”

 

“Yeah! It was!” He looks up at Kel with shining eyes. Basil is suddenly reminded of how short he is. Has he grown even taller…?

 

---

Basil is out in his backyard on a crisp autumn day, tending to his flowers. Kel helps him use the garden shears, since he’s still not comfortable holding them, as well as tie knots, even though he’s not very good at it…

 

“So, what do you do in the winter? Move them all inside?”

 

“Some of them, yeah. But there are some that can live out there, even in the snow.” Basil waters a plant, petting its leaves like a cat.

 

“Wow, really? You guys are so strong…” Kel addresses the entire garden.

 

“Especially you, Basil!” He hits him on the back of the shoulder, nearly making him stumble.

 

“O-oh, I don’t know about that…”

 

…

 

“…Kel, I wanna talk to you about something serious.” Basil puts the watering can down, staring into his eyes.

 

“Go ahead.” Kel’s smile dampens a little.

 

“Do you think… what I did… was wrong?”

 

“…of course it was. But that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

 

“But she wouldn’t forgive me, would she?” Basil looks at his feet.

 

“Of course she would! She forgave me plenty of times for making all those messes…” Kel scratches his head. “Even if she did get really angry at first… you know, Mari was the one who taught me that everyone could always use more hugs!”

 

“Hey, you remember what she’d always say about forgiveness? She said it has a price…”

 

“And then, she’d say, ‘all it costs is your love~!’ Haha, I never forgot that.” Kel relaxes his shoulders, smiling peacefully.

 

Basil sighs. Kel’s singsong voice makes him smile ever so slightly.  “Sorry. I just… I don’t know, I keep thinking about it. A-and I’m scared about… Aubrey…”

 

“…I saw her at school a couple days ago. She didn’t say anything, but her face told me everything.” Basil’s eyes bore into the ground, remembering the pure hatred in her expression.

 

“Well… I could try talking to her, you know? She just needs some time to cool down.”

 

“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea… I don’t want you getting hurt…”

 

“Oh, come on, she won’t hurt me! At least, not too badly… But…”

 

“…I feel kind of bad for… abandoning her again. I really wanted to make sure you were okay, and I didn’t really talk to her at all…”

 

“That’s not your fault. She has other people to talk to. She’ll talk to us when she’s ready. And you don’t need to do… any of this. You deserve to just be happy without us.”

 

“You make me happy, Basil.” Kel pulls him in for a hug. “I’m not giving you up for anything.”

 

“…” Basil holds him tightly while closing his eyes, his face warm against his chest.

 

“…you make me happy too. I…”

 

Oh God, should I really say it?

 

“…I lo… I-I think I…” He hesitates, his heart pounding quicker and quicker.

 

No going back now.

 

“I love you.” Basil lets out his bated breath. There, he said it. His heart has jumped out of his chest now, laid plain for all to see. “A-and I don’t just think that. I know it.”

 

“…love you too.” Kel mumbles, uncharacteristically quiet.

 

The two boys stay there for a while, basking in the warm evening Sun and the warmth of their bodies, two parts mended of a greater whole.

Notes:

imo cactiflower is probably the most likely ship to actually happen post-canon

Chapter 3: Concrete Halls

Aubrey is running through concrete halls, endless corridors. She’s been here several times before. It’s always the same, the pasty white walls of the hospital, the infinite doors stretching in front of her, the echo of his words still ringing in her head. Two years later, and they’re still as clear as day. Every single word that left his mouth that day was unforgettable.

 

Every night, when she goes to bed, she stays awake in fear that she’ll have to hear them again. That she’ll keep running endlessly, always waking up with her feet sore in the morning. Every day she feels exhausted, the running in her dreams taking a toll even on her real body. 

 

This time, though, she knows she’s dreaming. So she stops running and takes control of herself. She turns around to find herself face to face with him. The hospital door is to his side, as if she hadn’t run a single inch. His eye is healed, and he looks healthy. He’s just about as tall as her. Even his posture is straight, which was a rarity even before the incident.

 

Suddenly, the walls are covered in her own reflection, and all she sees is someone to pity. Her face is gaunt and sunken, her eyes bloodshot, her hair unkempt, with black roots showing, and her bones poke out through her skin.

 

He reaches his hand out to her.

 

She takes it.

 

---

Sunlight floods her vision as Aubrey wakes up in a familiar room. It’s the hospital, again, only this time she’s the one in the bed. And this time, it’s reality. She can tell because everything hurts.

 

After a few minutes, her eyes adjust to the bright lights, and a nurse walks into the room.

 

“Hello. Do you know where you are?”

 

“Yes.” Her voice is coarse. It hurts to talk.

 

“What’s your name?” She takes out a clipboard.

 

“Aubrey.”

 

“Last name?”

 

“…don’t have one.” She grumbles.

 

“Hm.” The nurse notes something on her clipboard.

 

“Age?”

 

“18.”

 

“Do you remember how you got here?”

 

“Yes.”

 

I wish I didn’t.

 

I want to forget.

 

“Aubrey, you’re in stable condition. You’ll be staying here for only a couple more days.”

 

“Great.” Her eyes stare forward, hardly even acknowledging the nurse’s presence. 

 

“Your mental state, however, seems to be unstable.”

 

“What?!” She snaps her head to glare at her.

 

“Yes.” The nurse taps something on her clipboard, as if Aubrey can read it. “It appears many of your wounds were self-inflicted.”

 

“…”

 

“Do you have family to contact?”

 

“No.”

 

“Any close friends?”

 

Aubrey takes a bit of insult to that. She said it like she already knew the answer.

 

“…no.”

 

It hurts to think about them.

 

“Alright. Please get some rest. If you need anything, you can call for a nurse using that button over there.” She points to the nightstand. “You aren’t allowed to leave this room by yourself. Do you understand?”

 

Aubrey nods slowly.

 

She’s served some disgusting-looking hospital food, and then she’s left alone again. She isn’t sure if she could leave the room if she tried.

 

Last time she was in a hospital, Aubrey ran. Ran as far as she could, just like in her dream, until she ended up on a balcony. Looking down made her head spin, so she turned back and found the elevator instead. 

 

Maybe she should have taken the quicker way down.

 

---

After a couple hours of nothing, Aubrey hears a faint conversation outside her door.

 

“…studying? Medicine?” It’s an older man’s voice.

 

…

 

“Not a lot of people do this for fun.”

 

…

 

“Well, I think you’re doing a great service.”

 

…

 

She swears that there’s another voice behind the wall. But she can’t make out what they’re saying in response to the other man. She strains her ears a bit more to eavesdrop, anything to stop the boredom.

 

“...your eye, it’s not your first time in a hospital, huh?” The man chuckles.

 

Aubrey’s eyes widen. 

 

…

 

“Oh, that’s nice.”

 

…

 

“Well, we could always…”

 

Footsteps grow quieter and quieter as the two people walk away. Aubrey is left with her own thoughts, of which there are many.

 

Is it really him…?

 

She’s sure plenty of people are missing eyes out there. Still, she holds out some hope that it’s him, the one who matters. Well, maybe hope isn’t the right word. What would happen if she saw Sunny again? It’s not like she hasn’t thought about it… In fact, it’s all she’s been thinking about for the last two years. It was just a mistake, an accident, like he said, but that feels so wrong to say. Can she really forgive someone for that? Not to mention that he was the one who blotted out the photo album, causing all of the harm that she diverted on to Basil. 

 

Basil.

 

Why did he…

 

Nothing makes sense to her. It was a freak accident, and they acted irrationally. That’s the “normal” explanation. But how could people as sweet as Sunny and Basil commit such a terrible crime? Clearly, she doesn’t know them like she thought she did. Those calm, shy faces were hiding something sinister. All that time on the swings, she would tell Sunny everything, yet Sunny would never open up about his own problems, at least not past his surface-level fears. Maybe it’s her own fault for being so selfish, not realizing his sudden change in demeanor leading up to the recital, for never being there for him like he was for her.

 

She desperately wants to not be angry anymore, even if most of her initial fantasies involved her pulverizing the two partners in crime. It hasn’t gotten her anything. Even Kel gave up on her after his first try left him with bandages on his legs. She’s seen him around with Basil, acting like nothing happened, and she can’t help but feel both jealous and guilty, especially since they actively avoid her. She’s mad at Kel especially, but at the same time, she can’t blame him. All Aubrey wants is for things to go back to normal. Unlike Kel, though, she doesn’t have the courage to make that happen.

 

Kel and Basil are happy, Sunny has a new life in the city, Hero is busy at school. They don’t need her anymore. They’re probably better off without her. Actually, she has enough proof that they are. Even the Hooligans don’t really need her. She’s become much more irritable, and she gets the feeling that they don’t really like hanging around her anymore. When was the last time she laughed? Increasingly, Aubrey finds herself feeling like an outcast in her own group; she doesn’t know the latest news, doesn’t get the latest inside jokes; hell, some people at school don’t even know who she is anymore. The worst part is that the Hooligans all have other people to turn to, since she’s the only outcast. She has no one. She’s become a bit of a shut-in herself, rarely leaving the house for anything but essential needs, and as such, all of it is her fault and her fault alone.

 

She really wishes Sunny hadn’t moved. They could have worked it all out together, she could have tried to understand him, he could comfort her like he always did, like a fairytale’s happy ending. It’s been two whole years, and part of her thinks he’s forgotten about her, about all of them, since he hasn’t reached out or visited Faraway ever since. It’s really for the best. But as conflicted as her feelings are, she really just wants to see him again. When she had the chance, she could hardly bear to look at his deathly pale skin, or God forbid those shadowy eyes, with pupils so large she couldn’t tell where his iris began. Maybe if she had just asked him to stay in contact, something so simple, she would have had the power to reach out to him, but now, it’s too late. His soulless stare should have told her something was wrong from the beginning.

 

She thinks about that dream she just had, where their roles were reversed. She’s the one who looks terrible now, who hasn’t been taking care of herself. She desperately hopes that he looks like how he did in her mind, that his eyes (well, eye) have regained their brightness, and that she can’t see his bones anymore. If he looks more human than ghost, maybe she’ll be more willing to treat him like one.

 

Maybe.

 

---

“So, Sunny, what are you studying? Medicine?”

 

“No, I’m just volunteering.”

 

The doctor raises an eyebrow. “Not a lot of people do this for fun.”

 

Sunny shrugs. “I like helping people, I guess.”

 

“Well, I think you’re doing a great service.”

 

They continue walking down the hall.

 

“Judging by your eye, it’s not your first time in a hospital, huh?” He chuckles a little.

 

“Yeah. And, my mom works here.”

 

“Oh, that’s nice.”

 

“She told me they had open spaces, so I decided to volunteer.”

 

“Well, we could always use more hands.”

 

Sunny feels inexplicably drawn to a specific room as they pass. He jumps a little as he sees a shadow pass directly next to him, disappearing into the room.

 

“You good?”

 

“…yeah.”

 

Now that he thinks about it, how did he know which room Basil’s was? There was something in front of it, wasn’t there? But how could he possibly have known? Sure, he used to see things all the time. But even then, it was just hallucinations from his subconscious. So he had to have known somehow. Thankfully, he sees them much less now, literally. Maybe he can come up with an excuse to enter that room.

 

…

 

He enters the elevator with the doctor, completing his tour of the hospital.

 

“Well, I hope to see you soon. You’re a good kid, Sunny.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

The doctor gets off at his floor, and Sunny presses the button for the floor without even thinking. He feels a burning curiosity eat away at his mind.

 

I have to find out what’s in there. But I need an excuse…

 

He remembers that all the rooms can call nurses at the push of a button. Maybe he’ll pretend he needs to talk to someone.

 

His feet carry him to the room on their own, navigating as if he’s been here thousands of times.

 

Sunny slowly opens the door, clearing his throat. “Excuse me, could I…”

 

He sees her.

 

She stares back at him. 

Notes:

since i'm posting these three chapters all together i might as well say that there isn't a schedule for updates or anything. i write very spontaneously and i don't like holding myself to a deadline or anything like that

Chapter 4: The Meeting Place

Notes:

this is unrelated to the fic but the song that the chapter title comes from reminds me a lot of hero/mari

Sunny steps back, ready to leave the room. “I’m sorry.” His breathing quickens. “I-I shouldn’t…”

 

Aubrey stares at him, her mouth agape.

 

How is he… how is this even…

 

“W-wait!” She croaks as he backs up against the door. “Stay… please.” She makes an effort to sit up in her bed.

 

She coughs a couple times, tasting blood.

 

Sunny nods hesitantly. He takes a couple deep breaths. 

 

How did she get here?

 

What does she want from me?

 

How did I know she was here?

 

He tentatively takes a seat at her bedside, still keeping his distance. She looks horrible, like how you would expect someone in her living situation to, her façade of strength and confidence completely dissolved. She is pitiful, her eyes red from crying, her hair oily and discolored, with glass bones and paper skin.

 

He doesn’t really know what to say. How can he talk to her, after all this time? And while she’s in a condition like this?

 

In Aubrey’s eyes, Sunny looks like an angel. His smooth, spotless skin combined with his almost glowing milky white glass eye, completed by his fluffy black hair framing the top of his head like a halo. She imagines wings sprouting from his back. It almost makes her smile.

 

They stare at each other for a while until Sunny looks away, feeling uncomfortable.

 

“What are you… what happened to you?”

 

She freezes up, unable to speak. He can sense the terror she’s feeling.

 

“I-it’s okay… you don’t… have to tell me.”

 

“…”

 

Sunny sighs. He considers asking something like “how are you?” or other small talk, but her appearance speaks for itself.

 

“Sunny…” she strains, “talk. About anything.”

 

It feels a little selfish of her, knowing that he doesn’t like talking in general. He still looks apprehensive, but she’s desperate for human contact.

 

“Please…” she chokes out, her throat threatening to kill her.

 

“I… okay.” He isn’t supposed to leave the hospital for another two hours anyways. Might as well see what happens.

 

“So… when Mari…”

 

“Not that!” She interrupts, pleading with her eyes. Her voice breaks. “Anything but that…”

 

“Right… um…”

 

Noticing the beginnings of a coughing fit, he offers to get her water to buy some time. She nods, but she’s also sad to see him leave. 

 

In the short time that he’s gone, Aubrey’s heart begins racing. It pounds into her ears, every thump drowning out any other noise in the room. She feels chills run down her body, making her shiver profusely. Her eyes dart nervously back and forth, with shadows swimming around the edge of her vision, thinking at any time that she’ll pay at last for her actions, that he’ll come back and lambast her, hit her, give her what she deserves for abandoning him all those years ago. Even worse is the possibility that he doesn’t come back at all, leaving her to panic endlessly about a fate that doesn’t exist. He’d wanted to leave, and she foolishly intimidated him into staying, so now he’s making his escape. He’s slipped out of her grasp, free to run back to his safe haven, and now she’ll never reconcile herself with him, or punish him for his actions; she still doesn’t really know which one she wants. Aubrey hyperventilates, laying her head in her hands…

 

“…Aubrey?” Sunny taps her head, holding a paper cup filled with water. “Are you okay?” His eyes show even more concern for her than before, his hand shaking ever so slightly.

 

She looks up with relief, shakes her head, and snatches the cup from his hand. All her fears melt away, for now. He still cares about her.

 

“…wanna talk about it…?” Sunny sits back down, still observing her.

 

Another head shake. She brings the cup to her lips, draining it completely. She attempts to throw the cup across the room, but her arm is too weak to get any good distance. She looks away in embarrassment, feeling completely useless.

 

Sunny doesn’t even seem to notice until she turns back to him in anticipation.

 

“U-uh… I’m thinking.”

 

The understatement of the century.

 

How does he even begin to assess the situation? He doesn’t want to stare, but he can clearly see her injured hands, bandages extending all the way up her arms, as well as the dried blood soaked through them. She’s thin and dirty, wearing only a hospital gown, and he doesn’t want to think about what other injuries could lie below the covers. She looks utterly lifeless, hardly even able to speak, her breathing is ragged and uneven, and she’s too weak to move. She panicked after he left for just a minute… does she not trust him at all? He wouldn’t blame her. In any case, he’s glad that she can’t throw any punches at him, and that her signature bat is missing. 

 

He had desperately wanted to see her again, more than anyone else (well, anyone living). Sometimes, he’ll see a flash of pink on the streets in a vivid hallucination. He’ll go up to her, apologize for everything, open his heart up to her, and she’ll proceed to beat him down into the earth where he belongs. Every time, it’s the same, but he never learns. These daydreams are far more dangerous than his fantastical nightmares because they really take a toll on his body. More than once, he’s woken up in the grass of the park or on the floor of his home without realizing how he got there. Something told him when he walked in that this time was different. She’s real.

 

One time, he was sitting on a swing in the park, for old times sake, and she had sat down next to him. He recalled his love for her, believing her to be real, only to have his heart ripped out and torn to shreds as she morphed into the monster she’s become.

 

No. She’s not the monster. He is.

 

He scratches his head, breaking free from his spiraling thoughts, and after being reminded by her expectant gaze, starts thinking about any possible conversation topics. Not like she’s in any shape for conversation, though; it’ll just be him talking. The obvious choice is commentating his life in the city, but he doesn’t want to bore her. That wouldn’t be fun for either of them, and Aubrey looks like she’s in desperate need of something entertaining.

 

So… Sunny thinks of a certain story. One he made up long ago, that he poured his mind and body into for years. It wasn’t healthy at the time, but maybe he can repurpose it now for something new. And… even if he doesn’t want to be, he’s still fond of the world he created. It’s stupid, full of childish whimsy and naïveté, and incredibly incoherent. But he created it, and it still occupies a substantial portion of his waking mind, so he takes his role as the storyteller.

 

Aubrey watches him take a deep breath, closing his eyes, and to her shock, sees him smile.

 

“I’ll tell you a story. Like we used to.”

 

Mari would always read the younger children bedtime stories during sleepovers. In those stories, Sunny let his imagination run wild, and at some point, he began to formulate his own. He would make simple drawings of characters, both real and fictional, and tie them together to create his own world. One time, Aubrey saw him drawing and asked him about it, to which he responded with embarrassment. To his surprise, she took a great interest, watching with wonder as he spoke. His soft voice was a rarity in itself, and hearing him speak so animatedly about his passion was something she enjoyed immensely. Even Mari didn’t get such a treatment, despite her knowledge of the drawings. It was something special just between the two of them.

 

Aubrey never told him, but she always preferred his storytelling to Mari’s. It was dynamic and imaginative, almost to the point of being nonsensical, so far removed from the formulaic children’s books Mari would read from. She also had influence over where the story was headed, as Sunny was all too happy to meet her desires. Now that she’s technically an adult, it feels silly to even consider seriously listening to something like this. But at the same time, she’s really curious to see what he says. Will it be something from their childhood? Something completely new? Is he just going to make something up right now?

 

“Once upon a time, there was a boy and his room.”

 

“The room was called White Space, and it was an endless white void. It was simple. It was boring. But it was safe.”

 

“The boy’s name…” he pauses. Does he dare utter that name? 

 

“…his name is Sunny.”

 

She exhales a bit at that. He never used to put himself in his stories.

 

“…I know, I’m so self-centered.”

 

She smiles ever so slightly, waiting for him to keep going.

 

“One day, Sunny grew tired of his room. So he created a door to other worlds to explore.”

 

“…so he can just do that, right? Makes you wonder why he didn’t do it before.”

 

“And… the room he kept closest, always directly behind that door, was the neighbor’s room.”

 

“It housed the closest things to his heart. His friends. Their names were Aubrey, Kel, and Hero.”

 

Her expression changes as she notes the absence of two important people.

 

“They would go on adventures together, sometimes joined by the boy’s sister… Mari. But she remained stationary on her picnic blanket, out of harm’s way.”

 

Aubrey looks sadly at him. He gets the feeling she’s already figured out when and where he came up with this story.

 

“…”

 

“…and there was Basil. He… lived in a shoe. With his plants.”

 

“…what?” She looks at him incredulously.

 

“What? He did!” He looks offended, as if she had just insulted his entire being.

 

“That’s just… not what I expected…” She’s not sure whether to laugh at Basil’s questionable housing or to be angry that he was mentioned at all.

 

Every story needs a villain.

 

“Well… he was separated from all the others. But Sunny… cared about him. Just the same as he did to his other friends.” 

 

“Maybe… even more so.” He sighs, recollecting himself.

 

“Basil kept flowers. In fact, he provided a home for flowers. He had a flower crown in his hair at all times, but his most prized possessions were the ones in his garden.”

 

“They represented his friends, and he never failed to remind them of it. Basil himself was a sunflower, someone who wanted to face the Sun and stay on the bright side.”

 

“Mari was-“

 

“Lily of the valley.” Aubrey murmurs.

 

He looks at her in surprise. She still remembers all of their friends’ respective flowers, then, no doubt about it. 

 

“…someone who could ward off evil and help people see a brighter future.”

 

Aubrey nods sadly.

 

“Hero was represented by rose bushes. He wasn’t any particular rose, but could be represented by all of them because he was universally loved.”

 

“Aubrey…” he pauses, studying her expression. “is represented by the gladiolus. She’s strong and honest, with steadfast morals. She’s persistent, will never give up, and for the people she cares about, she’ll do anything.”

 

She purses her lips, looking away. She doesn’t fit that description anymore.

 

“The gladiolus is also called the sword flower. So like a sword, or a warrior, Aubrey is sharp and agile, always thinking ahead. She makes moves with purpose, and always sticks to her promises.”

 

She holds out a hand to stop him. He could probably go for hours about her.

 

“…Kel was a cactus because of his resilience. He could survive anywhere, no matter how impossible the odds may have seemed.”

 

“…and Sunny was the white tulip. Simple and modest.”

 

“And perfect.” Aubrey croaks. 

 

“W-what?” They stare at each other for a while. His face grows a bit hot. “I…”

 

“…Basil was wrong on that.”

 

Aubrey shakes her head adamantly. Sunny averts his gaze. “No one’s perfect. You know that.”

 

“…especially not me.” Eventually, she just gestures for him to continue the story.

 

“One day, Basil went missing. So Om- I mean, Sunny and his friends went to go find him.”

 

“They wanted to check the ladder to the sky to the east. But Sunny was afraid of heights.”

 

“They wanted to check the dark forest to the west. But Sunny was afraid of spiders.”

 

“They wanted to check the ocean to the north. But Sunny was afraid of drowning.”

 

“… this Sunny guy sucks, huh?”

 

Aubrey shakes her head, even though she was really tempted to agree with him. Even a simple joke like that tells her a lot about his self-esteem.

 

“…thanks, I guess.”

 

“Well, that only left the vast forest, where they had to push and shove past sprout moles and… uh… forest bunnies… if they wanted to get anywhere.” He winces, already knowing what her reaction will be.

 

She looks a little irritated, but he’s just glad she’s showing any emotion at all. He needs to make sure to never tell her that he created a character that would give him rewards for killing bunnies… So far, she seems to be enjoying the story, reacting to every word and closing her eyes to envision the world in her head. He decides to help her by giving more detail on the environment.

 

“In this world, the sky is purple, with flowers and faces drawn on it, and stars. It’s always night. The grass and trees are… pretty normal.”

 

“Mari’s hair was a vibrant purple, like she always wanted it to be, the same color as the sky. Basil’s was a greenish-teal, kind of like the grass. He always wore different colored flowers in his crown.”

 

“They were the land and the sky, the bedrock of the world, the pillars of its creation. Without them, it wouldn’t exist.”

 

“At some point, the world became full, its limits reached, with no room for spaces in-between. So Sunny relived the same adventures, over, and over, and over…”

 

“Sunny and his neighbors were always stuck in their pajamas. It was like being lost at a sleepover, forever. But they didn’t seem to mind.”

 

“There’s a foggy bridge at the left edge of the forest that loops around to the other side of it, because of… uh… magic. That side has colorful pinwheels, the size of trees.”

 

“And there’s a playground, right in the heart of the forest, where some other friends lived, kind of like where we used to play. People like Berly, and Van, and Mikal…”

 

“It had a slide, hopscotch, monkey bars, and… swings.”

 

They share a knowing glance, and in that moment, Sunny promises that he’ll see her again, smiling widely like she used to, with the wind in her hair and her swing at its peak, the Sun shining brightly above her, not a care in the world. If it’s possible, no matter how unlikely, he’ll see to it that she has a happy ending. Even if it doesn’t involve him.

 

In that moment, Aubrey promises that she’ll try her hardest to reconcile herself. His story brings her such nostalgia, and she wants to hear more of it, hear his soothing voice wash her cares away like it used to. Last time she heard his voice, it was grating and wrought with emotion, hoarse from years of no use. But this time, it flows like honey, moving from one word to another with purpose, never missing a single beat. After all this time, he’s still Sunny, even if she’s not really Aubrey anymore. He still has that light in his eyes, staring off to some unknown world that only he can see, and he’s willing to share it with her.

 

Sunny continues about the playground for a while, describing all of its inhabitants, hoping she picks up on their real-world counterparts. He’d like to imagine she does, since she’s always been sharp like that. They used to play pretend with his plushies, giving them their own unique voices and personalities, and he sees some reminiscence in her expression. When he was still dreaming, the playground was where he’d spent the most time, playing forever, since he was usually too scared to go anywhere else. Shortly after his world was conceived, Sunny was safe from the terrors of his own mind, so for a time, he thought he could relax in the park forever.

 

But then, Basil went missing. And it happened again, and again, and again, too many times to count. His world rent itself apart, and the dreaming boy could hardly hold on for any longer. Four years came and went, and so the nightmares, lying forever in wait, made their grand return.

 

Nowadays, he doesn’t dream at all, at least not in his sleep. Nothing good, nothing bad, and he prefers it that way. His creations now take physical form through his artwork, though they’ve matured greatly past his vibrant hallucinations. Sometimes, though, he does indulge in the innocence of his childhood. It’s how he still remembers all these details with such vivid memory. Maybe he could bring her some drawings tomorrow…

 

“…they couldn’t find Basil anywhere. Not in the entire forest.”

 

Sunny studies Aubrey’s face closely, watching her eye twitch just a little bit at Basil’s name. He isn’t sure if she still holds something against both of them, but Basil is right there in Faraway. If she ever forgave him, she would just say so, no questions asked. That’s just the kind of person she is. If she’s willing to talk to Sunny at all, that’s enough hope for him to believe in an eventual reunion. But first, he needs to figure out how she ended up in a hospital bed in the first place.

 

Sunny swallows, not sure where to go next. He’s left out some very important details, and now he’s backed himself into a corner.

 

“So they… had to choose a new path. And Sunny… faced his fears.” He breathes in, closing his eyes. “They climbed the ladder to the east, which stretched so high it reached a planet in outer space.”

 

“It’s strange, how he was able to overcome that fear of heights. But he had something important to do, and that pushed him to get over it.”

 

“At the foot of the ladder, he… learned how to calm down. That it wasn’t as scary as he thought. He took advice from his sister, and with his friends’ encouragement, he pushed through.”

 

Aubrey’s eyelids droop a little. Sunny realizes he’s been here for more than an hour. “Hey, are you tired? You should get some rest.”

 

“And, um… I have to go soon.”

 

Her eyes snap open, filled with fear. She grabs his hand with frightening speed. “Don’t… don’t leave me…” she whispers.

 

“Aubrey… I’ll come back tomorrow. I promise.” He squeezes her hand, though her iron grip is surprisingly strong.

 

“…”

 

“Do you need anything? I could try bringing something for you…”

 

“…food.” She murmurs. “Good food.”

 

He nods. “I… wanna talk with you. About everything. A-and I hope you don’t blame yourself… It's all me. I did this to you.” His breath shakes.

 

“W-when you’re ready… we should talk, okay?”

 

She stares into his eyes with melancholy, nodding solemnly. She grasps his hand with the last of her strength, threatening to never let go.

 

“I’m so sorry, Aubrey… if you don’t want me to come back… I understand.”

 

“Promise me you will.” She whispers, tears forming in her eyes.

 

“…I promise.”

 

Aubrey lets him go, and it hurts her to see him walk out her door. He’s her last hope, her only hope, but she knows that he can send her world crashing down in an instant. It hurts her almost as much as it did six years ago, when she walked out of his house for what she thought was the last time, where she left a part of herself that she never truly got back. It hurts just as much as when he’d walked into that hospital room two years ago, where she thought she’d recovered the pieces, only to feel herself shatter again at his words. Now he’s back, and he’s slowly putting her back together again. But she doesn’t think she’s strong enough to avoid crumbling into dust, by his hands or her own, becoming truly irreparable, no matter how hard he tries to fix her.

 

The dread settles into her weary bones. He’s gone now, and even if he comes back tomorrow, she’ll have to wait through an agonizing night, where her own mind could rip her apart. Her hope is fleeting, and his time with her far too short. The ache in her body makes its presence known again, now unable to be ignored.

 

Yesterday, she almost left it all behind for good. Nothing can ever hurt like that.

 

But watching him leave, not knowing if he’ll ever return…

 

It’s close.

Chapter 5: Forgetting Something?

Notes:

There is gore in this chapter.

Six teenagers sit at a table in a pizza place. Any bystander would call them hooligans, though a couple of them might object to that name nowadays.

 

They laugh and talk boisterously, with no regard for their surroundings. But they tip nicely, so it doesn’t really matter to the restaurant owner. 

 

Sometimes, very rarely nowadays, there’s a seventh person with them. A girl with bright pink hair. But anyone who’s paying attention would think she’s been replaced by now. Another girl has taken her spot, a girl much more receptive to the approaches of the one and only The Maverick.

 

Unbelievable. 

 

Kim sighs as Mikhael tells his signature story once again to the doting girl at his shoulder, the same story that he tells every day. She’d made a bet with Vance that they wouldn’t last more than a day together, yet more than a year later and he still holds it over her head. She’s supposed to be cunning, always winning the bets, but Vance wins once and suddenly she’s the stupid one…

 

Sure, Bebe is good company when Mikhael isn’t around. But Kim still misses how it used to be. Aubrey seems to be hiding from her, from all of them. Any attempts to help her out end in empty threats or blank stares, depending on the day. Last time she just sat there, completely unresponsive. The only way Kim could get a reaction was by straight up asking if something was wrong with her. Terrible phrasing, of course, but she’d prefer her to be angry than feel nothing at all. It’s so creepy.

 

Kind of like that strange boy who moved out a couple years ago. Kim is tempted to blame him for it all. It has something to do with him, and his sister who died all those years ago. But Aubrey won’t say anything about it, much to Kim’s frustration, so it’s impossible to talk it over with her at all. She can vaguely remember a time when Sunny and Aubrey were close friends, always seen together in the same spot. Maybe Aubrey was just chasing a childhood crush, only to realize that he wasn’t who he used to be. But that doesn’t really sound like her. Apparently, he lost his eye fighting the flower boy, which is even more confusing. Rumors spread, of course, but Aubrey has never confirmed anything, always tight-lipped. Kim can’t wrap her head around the idea that Basil, timid and fearful, could have an all-out fight against someone who had willingly ran errands for both of her parents.

 

It doesn’t help that Basil is still afraid of them. He hides behind Kel whenever they get close, and dating someone popular like him makes Basil more popular at school by default. She’s tried to apologize to him, and Kel told her that he knows they’re sorry, but she still feels a bit guilty about it.

 

Oh, there’s Kel now. Maybe that psycho is here to buy another sandwich from the pizza place.

 

Is he walking over here…?

 

“Hey, um, everyone…” He awkwardly waves to the table, stopping the conversation in its tracks.

 

Six pairs of eyes stare expectantly at him.

 

“Uh, today’s Aubrey’s birthday. Do you know where she is?”

 

Charlie shakes her head. Kim and Vance look at each other with guilt, eyes wide.

 

“…fuck.” Kim puts her head in her hands. How could she forget something like that?

 

“God, how did you remember that and we didn’t? We’re such awful friends.”

 

“Actually… I forgot too. I, uh, forgot my own birthday once, so don’t feel bad about it. It was Basil who reminded me. Of her birthday, not mine.” Kel rubs his neck. “We’re just… worried. That’s all.”

 

What? Him?

 

Kim stands up. “We should all go see her. It’s… been a while.” The other hooligans nod in agreement.

 

“What do you mean? You guys don’t hang out anymore?”

 

“…she never wants to. I thought she was back with you guys again. She doesn’t really leave the house very often, at least from what I can tell.”

 

“I… haven’t talked to her. Not since she… uh, told me to stay away...” …and almost broke my legs. Kel is reminded of his other friends, all locking themselves away from the world. A wave of guilt washes over him.

 

But she’d said to keep his distance, right? Would it be wrong of him to break that trust?

 

No, of course not. She’s not thinking right. Basil wanted to keep him away too. Kel will help her escape, like he’s done three times before, no matter what it takes.

 

She has no one.

 

The realization courses through the room, creating a deafening silence in its wake. 

 

“I-it’s okay! She still lives with her mom!” Kel tries his best to crack a smile.

 

Well, not the most comforting thing, at least to anyone who’s seen Aubrey’s mom. But Kel hopes, perhaps naïvely, that it takes some guilt off their shoulders. It seems like he’s convinced Mikhael and Angel, at least.

 

“Let’s go see her. Come on.” Vance joins Kim and Kel, gesturing for the rest of the group to get up.

 

“Um, Basil’s outside too. I’ll talk to him.” Kel runs out the door at lightning speed.

 

Mikhael stands up. “Though he is my rival, he speaks with truth. We will prove that we are the better friends!”

 

Kim rolls her eyes as the others stand up. “Yeah, whatever.”

 

---

“Hey, Basil. Let’s go to her house.”

 

“So she wasn’t in there?”

 

“No. Her group is coming with us, too.”

 

“W-what?” Basil grabs Kel’s hand for support, his eyes filling with fear. “Are you sure…?”

 

“Yeah, come on! They’re her friends, just like we are!”

 

“…are we her friends?”

 

Kel struggles to think of a response, but he gets saved by the hooligans bursting through the door.

 

“Lead the way, nemesis!” Mikhael’s wig waves in the wind. Bebe stares at him in awe.

 

Kel sighs. “Yeah.” The group starts heading to Aubrey’s house.

 

On the way, Kim weaves her way next to Basil.

 

“Hey. Flower boy.”

 

“Gah! Um, h-hi…”

 

“We’re all sorry for… everything. You know that, right?”

 

“Y-yeah! Yeah…” He laughs nervously.

 

“…you don’t really seem like it.”

 

“…”

 

“If there’s, um, anything I can do for you…” Kim scratches her head. “Look, I just feel, like, really bad, okay? That you could’ve died. And it was almost our fault.”

 

“W-what?!” How does she know about that?

 

“Yeah, in… the lake? You know? Aubrey told me. Do you… remember that?” She gives him an odd look.

 

“Oh…” Somehow, Basil looks relieved. “Yeah.”

 

Best not to tell him what else Aubrey has said about him…

 

Basil had definitely wanted to die. His grandma’s death was to be the final nail in his coffin. Even before that, Sunny’s lifeless stare had all but sealed the deal, making him believe that they were to take their secret to the grave. He thought Sunny wanted it as badly as he did. But apparently, he was wrong. And he couldn’t be more thankful for that.

 

“So… you can stop running from us, you know? I've been trying to tell you this like, all year.”

 

“Oh… sorry. Um, yeah. I’ll try.”

 

She holds out her hand for a fist bump. Basil shakily returns it.

 

“By the way,” she whispers, “if you need us to steal stuff for you… just ask. We’re reformed, but we’re not like, that reformed, you know…”

 

“I’ll… keep it in mind…”

 

Basil rejoins Kel at the front of the group. It looks like listening to the esteemed The Maverick for just a couple more minutes might make Kel pop a blood vessel. He lets out a sigh of relief as Basil grabs his hand.

 

“So… what was that?”

 

“She, um, apologized. And stuff.”

 

“See? I told you.” Kel ruffles Basil’s hair.

 

“H-hey! Stop doing that!” He readjusts his flower pin.

 

“Ah, we arrive at the castle of the glorious pink empress!” Mikhael bows down at Aubrey’s train wreck of a house.

 

“It looks… even worse somehow,” Kel comments.

 

“How insulting…”

 

Aubrey’s attic window seems to be broken. Basil thinks he sees some red tinges in the glass. Is that the Sun playing tricks on him?

 

“Hey! Aubrey!” Kim knocks on the door. Angel throws a small rock up at the window.

 

No response.

 

“Um… no offense, but I don’t think she wants to see you two.” Kim points at the two boyfriends as Kel begins to walk up.

 

“Well… last time we just kinda opened her door and walked in. Could we… do that?”

 

“I guess so…” She puts her hand on the doorknob.

 

Basil’s heart rate increases. His breathing becomes more rapid. He can’t help but feel like something’s wrong.

 

“I-I don’t think we should-“

 

Kim swings open the door. She screams.

 

Aubrey’s mother lies lifeless on the floor, her head turned at an impossible angle, her limbs gangly and colored with deathly gray. Blood splatters the back of the couch and continues to leak from her body, pooling underneath her, staining the floorboards with a deep red. She looks like she’s been scavenged for parts, her entrails spilling out onto the ground from the large tears in her flesh. Some nails can be seen nearby on the floor, presumably having come unstuck from the murder weapon.

 

Her face is contorted in an eternal scream. Her soulless eyes stare at her home intruders with a primordial rage. The flies gather around their new queen, the stench of her rotten body overpowering that of her rotten housing.

 

Kim turns around, covering her face with her hands. Mikhael faints on the spot, his face blanched with terror. Bebe catches him and distances herself before throwing up. Charlie uses her body to shield Angel from the gruesome sight, and upon seeing his master’s reaction, he acquiesces to her demands. 

 

Kel tries his hardest not to vomit. “C-call… an ambulance. Someone.”

 

Vance is snapped out of his shell-shocked stupor, instantly dialing 911. “I got it.”

 

Kel looks around to find that someone is missing. “Basil…? Hey! What are you…”

 

He turns around, trying to ignore the corpse on the ground, only to see Basil running straight into the house.

 

“Wha- Get back here!” Kel attempts to speed after him, but the gruesome sight and the sickening stench stop him in his tracks. His hands snap up to his mouth, only delaying the inevitable.

 

---

Basil rushes up the ladder to Aubrey’s attic. He shouldn’t have looked. He just shouldn’t have looked.

 

What is he doing?

 

His body moves on its own, the adrenaline coursing through him, with no time to think of the horror scene downstairs. As he ascends the final rung, he sees her.

 

“Aubrey… Aubrey…” He checks for a pulse. It’s faint.

 

Blood runs up her arms, pooling out from her wrists. Her eyes are shut and her hair’s usual vibrant color is faded and dirty. He can see the stained window more clearly now, with holes that were almost certainly punched through. Glass shards litter the ground, a larger piece completely stained in red. Her bat lies nearby, soaked in blood, with its nails bent at awkward angles. Basil hasn’t seen this much blood in his life. Mari’s corpse was nothing compared to this.

 

He quickly tears at her ragged clothing to make a tourniquet, wrapping her wrists tightly. It rips easily, a result of being very well-worn, but it holds, stopping the flow of blood. The filthy fabric isn’t ideal, but it’ll have to do for now. Basil stares down at his blood-stained hands. Stained with her blood. He falls to his knees, frozen in place. He did this to her. It’s all his fault again.

 

“Basil! Basil…” Kel clambers up the ladder, the sunlight shining through and glinting off his cactus pin. He takes in the scene before him.

 

“Th-they’ll be here soon. They can help her.” He shakes him, trying his hardest to stay calm. “W-we need to get her down from here. Help me. Please…”

 

Basil stares back, his face now stained with the same blood from his hands. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. All he can do is stare back at her body.

 

“Kim! Vance! Someone, come up here! Please!” Kel yells as loudly as possible, his voice breaking. He hears the shuffling of footsteps downstairs. “A-Aubrey, she’s hurt, she’s…” 

 

He studies her face for any signs of life. Her chest moves up ever so slightly, the shallowest of breaths. Sirens begin blaring faintly outside.

 

“...stop the bleeding…” Kel mumbles, searching for something. He sees that her wrists have already been tied. “Good job, Basil…”

 

Kim’s face pops up from the trapdoor. She instantly closes her eyes, turning her head away. “No… no…”

 

“She’s alive. But I-I need help. We need to get her down the ladder.”

 

For just a moment, Kel looks at the broken window. No, that’s a terrible idea.

 

Kim nods, wordlessly taking Aubrey’s legs. She feels impossibly light. Is that the adrenaline, or does she really weigh that little?

 

Kel takes her shoulders, being careful not to make her bleed any further. It seems like Basil’s makeshift bandages will work. It’s agonizingly slow, but the pair make their way down, rung by rung. Kim almost forgets about the dead body on the ground floor, nearly dropping Aubrey as they pass by it again.

 

Finally, they lay her down on the grass outside. The hooligans gather around her.

 

“She’s alive,” Kel breathes. 

 

The group lets out a collective sigh of relief.

 

“Will she get in trouble, you think? For…” Vance gestures at Aubrey’s mother.

 

“We won’t say a thing. They just had a fight, right? Or maybe it was like a suicide? Do you think we should…” Kim glances at the body again.

 

“No.” Kel also stares at the body, wincing at what he’s just been reminded of. “Wait… Basil’s still in there. I-I’ll go get him.”

 

---

Basil lies still on the floor. Even though she’s gone, the blood splattered all around him locks him in place. He closes his eyes, trying to block it all out, but all he sees is red. 

 

He opens his eyes again, and Mari is on the ground in front of him, laying in the darkness. The Sun is gone. He sees her lifeless body, with wood piercing through her and the remnants of a violin below her. There’s still blood. So much blood.

 

He whispers nothing to himself. Soundless mumbles, incomprehensible, as he rocks back and forth on the ground. He holds out his red hands again. Black blood drips down onto them from the ceiling. Her corpse reanimates itself. Her face turns the darkest black, her clothes the palest white. Her face morphs into a permanent scream as wind howls into his mind, biting his skin with its frost.

 

Basil closes his eyes, but she appears there too, the wind fading to an eerie silence. She fills his vision, her body swinging in the wind, a jump rope tied around her neck. Tied by his hands. It’s impossible to look away.

 

Suddenly, she morphs into someone else. Her hair turns a deep red, with flashes of pink, crackling like lightning. An eye opens, piercing blue, cutting him with its gaze. He feels something sharp in his chest.

 

Something puts its hands around him, and only then can he finally let out a scream.

 

“Basil! Basil, come on…” Kel shakes him awake. Basil’s vision fills with sunlight, blood still staining the floorboards, but with no body in sight.

 

“Kel…” He wraps his arms around him as tight as possible, crying into his chest.

 

“It’s okay now. She’s okay.”

 

“…”

 

His hands stain the back of Kel’s shirt. Kel wants to say something, anything to lighten the mood, but he thinks he’ll just make it worse. He just tightens the embrace, holding his beloved like it’s the last time they’ll ever meet.

 

“I saw her,” Basil mumbles. “And the rope.”

 

“…”

 

“It’s my fault.”

 

“It’s not!” Tears stream down both their faces. 

 

“I know! But I can’t help it…”

 

“If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine, okay? I should have tried harder to reach her. I shouldn’t have let some scratches stop me.”

 

“No, that’s not true…”

 

“She’s just like Sunny. And Hero. And you. Why did I make an exception for her…?”

 

“Kel, stop…”

 

“…” The sirens get closer and closer until they finally stop. Some tires are heard screeching outside.

 

“Basil… let’s just go, okay? And I think I’m gonna call Hero later. To tell him what happened.”

 

Basil nods, his face still pressed against Kel’s chest.

 

“He’ll know what to do,” Kel mutters. “He always does.”

 

The boys step down the ladder, ignoring the gore laid before them. They can hear paramedics questioning Kim and Vance outside.

 

“…a fight. She was being abused! Look at the house!” Kim’s voice is tinged with anger.

 

She turns around as the walk through the door, flinching at Basil’s bloodstained face. “Basil… you saved her.”

 

“What?”

 

“The things. Around her wrists.” She runs up and hugs him. “Thank you.”

 

“O-oh… well, of course…”

 

She turns around, a little embarrassed. “So, I was just making sure, as a witness, that she won’t get in trouble for anything.”

 

“We’ll have to see, ma’am.” 

 

As they argue, something possesses Basil to start running. Before he even realizes it, he’s talking to the ambulance driver. “Excuse me!” He pants, “Is she in grave danger?”

 

“No, she’s alright.”

 

“Is she in… good enough health to be taken to a different hospital…? We, um, she, had some… bad experiences… with the closest one.”

 

God, why am I doing this? What the hell is wrong with me?

 

“Well, I don’t see why not…”

 

“Thankyousomuchsirbye!” He speeds back to Kel’s side. 

 

“Hey, what was that?”

 

“I don’t know. But we won’t be going to that hospital anymore.” He smiles, for some reason.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I-I don’t know! Something just… told me to do it. I-I just had a bad feeling, or a good feeling, or something, or… I don’t know!”

 

“Hey, it’s okay! I’m sure Aubrey would appreciate it.”

 

“But what if she…”

 

Kel cuts him off. “They said it was fine, right? It’s fine.”

 

“Sure. Yeah…”

 

After a bit more discussion, the ambulance finally heads off to places unknown. Basil expects to feel some dread at what he’s just done, but if anything, he just feels calmer now that it’s over. Is that a piano playing somewhere…?

 

“Hey, Basil. Let’s go home, okay? I’ll stay over with you tonight. You, uh… don’t look great.”

 

“What? Is there something on my face?”

 

---

Basil and Kel lie in bed together, the curtains closed with sunlight barely peeking in. It’s hardly past noon, but to the two boys, it might as well have been a lifetime since the Sun rose today.

 

“‘m so tired…” Basil mumbles. He buries his face in Kel’s chest.

 

“Yeah…” Kel yawns. “Let’s just rest a bit. And think about it later.”

 

“Well… that feels a little bad…”

 

“You’ve done enough thinking, alright? Just… let it go for a bit. Spend some time with me.” Kel kisses him on the forehead.

 

“Okay…” Basil takes in the warmth of the body beside him. He’s never felt more loved. But on the other hand, he can’t help but worry about Aubrey, thinking that she deserves this love more than him. The kind of love only a handful of people were willing to give her. The kind of love that he ripped away from her.

 

Now, they’re all separated, and out of all of them, Basil probably deserves happiness the least. He feels guilty indulging in love that can’t be shared by all of them. When considering Hero, he feels it even more so, knowing he took that away from someone. Despite everything, Hero had sent him a heartfelt letter one day, affirming his forgiveness and his support of Basil and Kel’s relationship. He calls in every now and then to check on them, but he still hasn’t visited in person. 

 

All of a sudden, Kel tightens his grip. “Basil…” he whispers, “am I a bad person?”

 

“What…?” Basil’s thoughts come to a screeching halt. “Of course not. You’re… the best of us, probably…”

 

“It really doesn’t feel like that.”

 

“Well… why? You saved my life. All of our lives. Y-you’re…”

 

“I’m just… I feel useless, you know? Why can’t I help her… Why doesn’t she want me to help her?”

 

“...yeah. I do know. What that feels like.” Basil shifts upwards, trying to look through the dark at his eyes, leveling their heads together.

 

“A-and… you know, Kel? You know who helped me see that I was wrong?”

 

“...”

 

“Yeah.” Basil’s fingers trace along his shoulders. “You know, Kel, you’re someone who… always knows what to say in any situation, who puts others over himself at all times.”

 

“You stay calm under pressure, you don’t let your thoughts overwhelm yourself…” His hands move down his body, providing some kind of relief to his anxious bones.

 

“You’re really strong, in both body and character. I could never… um, y-you’re one of a kind. A flower blooming in a desert.”

 

“I love you, you know? And it’s not like you didn’t save her. If you hadn’t been there…”

 

“Yeah.” Kel breathes in the scent of Basil’s flowery room. “You’re right. You’re right.”

 

“…I don’t know about all that other stuff. But I guess I helped a little.”

 

Basil scoffs. “Oh, come on.”

 

Kel laughs, returning his embrace. “That’s what you sound like sometimes, you know? B-but… hearing that you… think of me like that, it really does help. So thanks.”

 

Basil says nothing, just melting into his lover’s arms.

Notes:

this chapter is an important one. i don't usually edit things after posting but if you have suggestions i will definitely consider them :)

Chapter 6: Still Here

“Oh, hi, Aubrey! Come sit down!”

 

“Is that really you?”

 

“Oh, who knows? Am I a ghost now~? Or just your imagination? Haha…”

 

“…I’m glad you met him. I almost thought it wouldn’t happen.”

 

“Are you… watching me? Watching us?”

 

“Always.”

 

---

For the first time in a long time, Aubrey wakes up with a smile on her face. It’s soft, and so subtle it might not be there at all. But she’s smiling, and she knows it, so does it really matter?

 

She can’t remember what she dreamed about. But it must have been nice.

 

Her innermost thoughts tell her that Sunny won’t be coming back for her today. But she knows that’s not true. He promised.

 

For once, Aubrey’s drifts away from the past and into the future. Maybe she can land a job somewhere, make a living on the streets. She wonders if she can sell the house for anything. It must be worth something, right? It doesn’t sound so bad (though it could definitely be better). She could catch up on all those things she missed, the new Spaceboy comics, the new game consoles, maybe get one of those pocket computers Mikhael told her about. 

 

Somehow, even though nothing’s changed, Sunny’s visit has helped her become more optimistic. Maybe she could visit him every once in a while in the city, or maybe…

 

No, that’s too much to ask. She should be grateful for what she has already.

 

Why was she so afraid of him in the first place? It’s not like he…

 

Oh, right.

 

She’ll have to talk that over with him. But not today. And eventually, he’ll get curious about what she did. And then, when he finds out…

 

Everyone will know. Word spreads quickly in a small town like Faraway. Everyone probably knows already. Who brought her here in the first place? And more importantly, why? But Sunny will understand it better than them. He’s the only one who can. They’re two lost souls, twisted and broken, but at least they have each other.

 

Then again, maybe he doesn’t need her. He’s found some new people already, or rather, they probably found him. That’s not fair. Somehow, he always attracted people, even though she knows that he hated it. Aubrey has never been a people person herself. How is she supposed to find anyone? It was pure luck that they all took pity on her that day she lost her shoe. And now, she has the audacity to even consider the idea that he would take her in. She’s worried about her reputation only now? It’s already run through the ground, with her latest crime just adding to an already-long list. She’s just another one of those desperate people, like one of those strange adults who loved toying around with Sunny, the ones who would cause him to grab his own hair, whom he’d hide from and refuse to look in the eye. Her promises are just as empty, her words just as false.

 

Aubrey perks up to hear someone open her door. When she sees who it is, she freezes.

 

“Hey… Aubrey.” Kel stands there, refusing to look her in the eyes.

 

Neither of them say anything for a while. He takes in her condition, not really able to tell if she looks any better from when he last saw her.

 

“...is Basil there too?”

 

“It’s not important…”

 

“...”

 

“Aubrey… I’m really sorry. That we left you alone.”

 

“I wanted to be alone!” she snaps. “You shouldn’t even be here,” she mutters.

 

“No.”

 

She blinks a couple times. “...no?”

 

“No. I care about you. I’m sorry that I didn’t show it.” He stares into her eyes, his gaze intensifying.

 

“...”

 

“I-I don’t want to force myself into your life. But I just… think you need it. You need someone. No one can live like that.”

 

“...no…” I don’t deserve anyone.

 

“It doesn’t have to be me. It can be Kim, or the other Hooligans, whatever. But please… you shouldn’t… do this to yourself.”

 

“...”

 

“We’re still friends, you know that?”

 

“...”

 

He sighs. “Aubrey, I think you brought out the best in me. Even after all our fights. That was just proof of our friendship, right? I think I heard…” He pauses, unsure if he should dredge up the past again.

 

“...Mari. She said that about us. No matter how bad the arguments got, that we’d always be friends.”

 

“She was wrong.” Aubrey says, gritting her teeth, attempting to hold back her sobs. “I almost killed you. That’s not just an argument.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say… never mind. I forgive you for that, you know? I should be sorry that I didn’t try harder.”

 

“...leave me alone.”

 

Kel sits down in the chair Sunny had occupied yesterday. “Visiting hours don’t end for a while.”

 

“...shut the fuck up.”

 

Kel imagines himself as a therapist in the moment. Is he really qualified to talk to her about this? He tries to imagine herself in her position, to imagine what her concerns might be. There are… a lot of them, to put it lightly.

 

Aubrey stares forward, trying to ignore him, but she watches out of the side of her vision. He seems to be in deep thought. She can’t remember if she’s ever seen him like that…

 

“Are you worried about… your mom? And what people will think?”

 

Her breath stops. She sideeyes him, her eyes narrowing.

 

“Eh, I don’t care. I think she had it coming.”

 

Aubrey can’t stop her jaw from dropping.

 

Kel laughs a little. “Um, I mean, you didn’t have to… make it so… bloody. But you had to put up with that for so long…”

 

“But I killed her,” she whispers, “on purpose.”

 

“I-I’m not… um, justifying murder, you know… but like… I don’t blame you.”

 

Kel wishes he had known what she was going through. He wishes he could have helped her earlier, housed her anywhere but there. But he was always the stupid kid, wasn’t he? He couldn’t be trusted with such information. He’s sure now that Sunny and Mari had known. But they would never have told him anything. He probably would have made fun of her for it. He understands now, after maturing, that not every household is as welcoming as his. 

 

The dam breaks free. Aubrey sobs into her hands. “God… what the hell is wrong with you…” The fringes of a smile form on her face. “I don’t deserve this.”

 

“You do,” he says, putting a hand on her back, “You’re… really strong, you know? For putting up with all of that. And you didn’t leave Mari behind, like the rest of us did.”

 

He pulls his hand back as Aubrey collapses into her pillow. “...I’m so fucking tired. Of fighting, of crying, of… hospitals…” She throws her hands in the air. “It’s like… I felt like I didn’t need to live anymore. No family, no friends, no one would care.” She thinks back to that nurse from yesterday, who was essentially asking her if she had any reasons to live.

 

“I pushed everyone away. I don’t get why you and Sunny came back for me.”

 

“Hey, don’t… wait… what? Sunny?” Kel stares at her, a mix of shock and hope in his expression.

 

“Oh… yeah. He visited yesterday.” She sighs, missing the soft tone of his voice.

 

“How did he…? Never mind.”

 

“Is… Sunny gonna visit today?” Aubrey looks at him, pleading with her eyes.

 

“I… don’t know. I don’t even know how he knew you were here, ‘cause we didn’t even tell him that yet…”

 

“Oh…”

 

“I’m sure he will!  He cares about you. About us. He’s not the kind of person to forget.”

 

“I thought you… sent him in first. Like a test, or something.” Like you’re doing now, with Basil. Basil is definitely here. She’s sure of it. And does she really want to see him? She doesn’t know.

 

It’s not just because of what he did back then. It’s also because of what she did to him. That guilt eats away at her every day, the knowledge that she was the bully, that she was the tormentor of her oldest friend. She’s tried to justify it, to say that he deserved it for what he did, but that’s just not possible. Her actions are perhaps even more unforgivable.

 

“Woulda been a good idea, since you have a soft spot for him…”

 

“What?!” She crosses her arms, looking away.

 

“Sorry! Sorry…” He puts his hands up. “I just thought, you know, since you wouldn’t attack him in the church and stuff. But maybe you just hated me.” And how she would act around him when we were younger. But maybe I shouldn’t bring that up…

 

“Well I…” she mumbles, “I don’t hate him. Or you.”

 

“...I know. You could never.”

 

“I think I could.”

 

“But not forever, right?” He smiles. 

 

“...no.”

 

“And… Basil?”

 

“...”

 

“Well… he saved you, you know.”

 

Well, maybe he shouldn’t have.

 

“He, um, he’s the one who remembered your birthday. Happy late birthday, by the way. And I don’t want this to mean like you have to be friends and stuff again… but he cares about you. And he’ll still care about you, even if you don’t.”

 

He really remembered that? Aubrey knows everyone’s birthdays by heart. After everything happened, though, those dates were always the worst ones. Days she couldn’t leave her bed, where she’d cry reminiscing about the times they used to have. Sometimes, she wished that she’d forgotten them. 

 

“Mm.” Aubrey sighs, looking at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I just can’t believe it still. I wanna forgive him. I think I do. But I think that if I see him…”

 

“...so, he shouldn’t visit right now.”

 

“No. I don’t trust myself.”

 

“I think… you should work on that.”

 

“Oh, thanks,” she says sarcastically. “But… I’ll try.”

 

---

Sunny walks into the hospital lobby, a small bag in his hands. The receptionist recognizes him instantly, probably because of his eye.

 

“Oh, Sunny! Welcome back!”

 

“Hi, um, I’m actually here to visit someone today.”

 

“...Sunny?” He hears a quiet voice behind him.

 

Sunny turns around to see a blonde boy with a sunflower pin in his hair, with wide eyes and an awestruck smile.

 

“...hi, Bas- agh!” Basil pulls him into a hug. 

 

He pulls away. “What are you doing here? You couldn’t know about…” He eyes the bag.

 

“...Aubrey’s here. I know. I visited yesterday.”

 

“...hey, why is she at this hospital and not… the other one…?”

 

“I, uh…” Basil scratches his head. “I told the paramedics we had some, um, experiences… there. To go somewhere else.”

 

“Um, sorry, I’ll be back in a second,” Sunny addresses the receptionist.

 

“It’s no problem.” She smiles warmly at the two boys.

 

They sit down in the waiting area.

 

Sunny looks expectantly at Basil.

 

“Oh, um, you’re probably wondering what happened to her…”

 

“She wouldn’t tell me yesterday.”

 

“Well…” Basil flashes back to her house, only a couple days ago. “It wasn’t pretty.”

 

“...and?”

 

“Sorry. Um, it’s just a lot…” Basil looks away. “She just- she killed her mom, okay? And then tried to kill herself.” He takes a deep breath as Sunny processes the information.

 

“And you were… there?”

 

“We found her. It was on her birthday, the 23rd.”

 

“I know her birthday.”

 

“I figured… but um, we were going to talk to her, check on her and stuff. And then, she didn’t respond, so we opened her door, and there was…”

 

Basil sighs. “A body. Her mom. It was so… bloody, and disgusting, and…” He shivers.

 

“Worse than…”

 

“So much worse.”

 

“...”

 

“And then, she was in the attic, with blood on her wrists, so I tied stuff around them… then, I don’t really remember what happened. But the ambulances came, and I told them to go to a different hospital, and everything was fine.”

 

Basil grabs Sunny’s hand for support. “Sunny… I’m really scared of what she’ll think of me. I know you haven’t been around, but me and Kel don’t talk to her. I think it’s my fault. I-I… Kel wanted to talk. And I told him no. I thought she didn’t want anything to do with us anymore… that she would be fine without us…”

 

“Basil, calm down.” Sunny squeezes his hand. “If she talked to me… she’ll be fine with you.”

 

“N-no, but it’s not the same. What I did wasn’t an accident. And she’s… different with you.”

 

“...what is that supposed to mean…”

 

Basil nudges him. “You know. Those… feelings. They don’t go away. That easily.”

 

Basil has to admit, Sunny looks great. He’s in much better shape, and if he wasn’t already taken, he might have tried rekindling that old crush.

 

“...I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Sunny tries his best to remain cliff-faced.

 

“Whatever. But I’m just saying, it’s not the same. That’s why… Kel is up there right now. To see if I should visit or not. Kim was supposed to come too, but she’s busy today.”

 

“You should.” Sunny squeezes his hand again. “She’s… really lonely. And desperate. I told her stupid bedtime stories yesterday.”

 

“Oh, like you used to?”

 

“What? You… knew about that…?” He looks away, a little embarrassed.

 

“Well, yeah… Aubrey always talked about them. She… talked about you. A lot.”

 

“Oh…” He’s not sure what to make of that.

 

“...how are you, Basil?”

 

He laughs a little. “Kinda late in the conversation to ask. But… I’m good, I think. Kel and Polly really help me. I… really like living. I know that sounds weird. But… you understand, right?”

 

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Yeah.”

 

To enjoy living. Well, he does enjoy living, right? If he didn’t, then he could just…

 

“How are you then, Sunny?”

 

“I’m… fine.” He shrugs.

 

“Are you sure?” Basil eyes him, looking over his expression.

 

“I… yeah.”

 

“...really sure?”

 

“...”

 

“Sunny, do you… have friends in the city? You never answered that in your letters when I asked you.”

 

“I do. I think.”

 

“Sunny…”

 

“Look, it’s… I just…” He sighs. “People know me. I know them. That’s… all you need, right?”

 

“No. You should… make some friends. Please. People love you… you know that, right? And I don’t just mean us, I mean strangers too.”

 

“...they shouldn’t.”

 

Basil sighs. “Sunny, do you like, go to therapy? Or anything?”

 

“It wouldn’t help me,” he mumbles. “I talk to mom sometimes.”

 

“Well… talk to more people. Like me!” He smiles.

 

“I…” Sunny shifts. “I kind of thought you didn’t need me. Anymore.”

 

“What?”

 

“...”

 

“Even if we don’t ‘need’ you… I, we, wanna spend time with you. To hear from you. I’m not gonna just… stop caring.”

 

“And, Sunny, please call. I know you have my number, and Kel’s. I send them in every letter. I’ll always answer for you.”

 

Sunny sighs. “I’ll try. I’m sorry. For… being like this.”

 

“Don’t be. We love you, Sunny.”

 

“I know. I just… it’s hard.”

 

“Yeah. I get that.”

 

“I almost forgot to ask… how did you know Aubrey was here?”

 

“Magic.” Sunny shrugs.

 

“...really?”

 

“Yes, really. No. I don’t know. I was here to volunteer, and then I just… found her.”

 

“Well, sounds pretty magic to me. Honestly, I didn’t mean to get her sent here instead of Faraway’s hospital. It’s like… something possessed me.” He sighs. “Maybe we’re just going crazy.”

 

“Haha, yeah…” Sunny thinks about those hallucinations he’s had. Should he tell someone about those…?

 

“Sunny, when it’s all over, you have to visit Faraway. Promise me.”

 

Promise me.

 

Promise me we’ll always be together.

 

“I…”

 

“Ha. Remember what happened last time I promised you something?”

 

“Sunny…” Basil looks him in the eyes.

 

“You… kept that promise. Even if it took a while. You’re still here.”

 

“Hm.” Sunny’s eyes flicker across the room, looking for anything else to focus on. He suddenly remembers the bag to his right.

 

“Oh, I almost forgot. We need to visit Aubrey before, um…” He lifts the bag up.

 

“You can go without me.”

 

“What? No.” Sunny stands up, taking Basil with him. He’s surprisingly strong.

 

“P-please, Sunny, it’s not a good idea…”

 

“Don’t you care?” he snaps, with more venom than he was intending.

 

Basil reels back a little, fear in his eyes. “I-I do… I do…”

 

“Sorry,” Sunny breathes, “sorry. I just… I’m sorry. You don’t have to see her.” He drops Basil’s hand, averting his eyes.

 

“No, I… you’re right. I should prove to her. That I care.”

 

“But if you’re not ready… you can wait.”

 

“N-no! I’ve waited too long already. I have to do it.”

 

“...okay.”

“Hang on!” Basil drags him back, grabbing his wrist. “Promise. I’m not letting you get away with that.”

 

“...”

 

“I promise.”

 

---

“Aubrey, what’re you gonna do after this? If you need a place to stay…”

 

“I’m not taking handouts.” She glares at him. “I’ll manage.”

 

“That’s… not a good idea,” Kel says, bluntly.

 

“I’m alone now. I still have a house, at least.” She grimaces.

 

“I just don’t understand. Why don’t you… want help? Did you hit your head too?”

 

“I-I’m not stupid, Kel! And I’m perfectly fine. I’m capable.” As if her body wants to taunt her, she starts coughing.

 

He just stares at her as she realizes the irony of it all.

 

“I-I don’t need… your help…”

 

“...yeah. You don’t… need it, I guess. But it would make your life easier.”

 

“I don’t need an easy life.”

 

Kel stands up suddenly, the chair squeaking behind him. “So what, you’re gonna just throw it away then?! Because you’re so fucking stubborn?!”

 

“What?!” She stares at him in awe.

 

“How are you paying these medical bills? How are you gonna graduate school? Or get a job?” he challenges, fire in his eyes. He stands right next to her, his face up close to hers.

 

“I-”

 

“You’re gonna waste your life away! And I’m not letting you do that again.”

 

“...”

 

“I can’t… I can’t let you. Not again.”

 

“...”

 

Kel sits down, taking a breath. Tears form at the edges of his eyes.

 

“You don’t understand,” she mutters. “I want your help. I just don’t deserve it.”

 

“You do deserve it…”

 

“What have I ever done for you, Kel? Or Sunny? Or Basil?”

 

“You’re my friend. Our friend. That’s all it takes.”

She scoffs. “Then I’m a shit friend. And you should cut me off.”

 

“...”

 

“I murdered my fucking mom, Kel! Don’t you think that’s insane?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you’re- ugh! Then you’re stupid! You know I wouldn’t do the same for you.”

 

“Well, I don’t have your mom,” he mutters. “And I think you would. You already forgave Sunny, didn’t you?”

 

“...”

 

“...didn’t you?”

 

“We didn’t talk about it.”

 

“But you’re… on good terms?”

 

“I guess…”

 

Kel takes a moment to think. “...what if you… lived with him? In the city? Like a fresh start?”

 

“I don’t wanna burden him.” She can’t hide her sadness at that thought.

 

“But you… would want to, right? And I’m sure Sunny does too…”

 

“Yeah,” she sighs, “it would be nice. But so would living with you, or Kim, or...” she trails off.

 

“...Basil.”

 

“...”

 

“He has an empty room, you know.”

 

Aubrey puts her face in her hands. “Thanks for reminding me.”

 

“...what? You can’t possibly blame yourself for that.”

 

“N-no, but I… I just didn’t know. His grandma, she was always so nice to me. And I haven’t visited her grave,” she sobs, hands trailing down her face. “He suffered so much already. And I made it so much worse.”

 

She glares at Kel, her eyes red. “Don’t you care? You’re his boyfriend! You should hate me!”

 

“I already told you. I don’t- I can’t hate you. Because you’re my friend.”

 

“...”

 

“Friends fight. All the time. We know that.”

 

“...”

 

“And… even if this is different, it’s still the same idea. That’s simple, I know. You told me that last time. But don’t you think, Aubrey, that it would be nice if everything were simple?”

 

“I think that… seeing it, in a simple way, doesn’t take away from the complexity. You shouldn’t be comparing us, what we “owe” each other, the things we’ve done. It doesn’t matter if what you did is worse than what Basil did.”

 

“Basil told me once that I focus too little on myself. That I care too much about people around me, and that it’s bad for me. I think… you could use that advice too. To be selfish, every once in a while. Especially if it makes you happy.”

 

“Mari would… hate to see us like this. All that guilt. I feel it too, y’know.”

 

“...”

 

“Kel, you… got really good at this, huh… you’re so… mature.” Aubrey can’t help but smile ever so slightly, considering his words. 

 

He scratches his head, grinning sheepishly. “Well, I try, you know? Do you think I could be a philosopher?”

 

“Fuck no.”

 

“But, just think about it! The great thinker, Kel-ocrates! I think I’d do a great job.” His beaming grin is infectious.

 

Aubrey scoffs. “Is that what you do now? I could count on one hand the amount of thoughts you’ve had.”

 

“Maybe, but quality over quantity, you know what they say!”

 

She can’t help but laugh a little. For once, it feels… normal. 

 

---

Sunny and Basil walk across the hallway, approaching Aubrey’s room. Hearing Kel’s loud voice echo out of the room reassures Basil, calming his shivering hands.

 

“By the way, she’s in no shape to hurt you. So don’t worry about that.”

 

“Th-thanks… that’s great…”

 

“She probably would have killed me yesterday.”

 

“W-what? I thought you said it went well…”

 

“Um… yeah. It did, I guess. But I wasn’t expecting it to.”

 

“That’s really encouraging, Sunny.”

 

“I know. But you’ll be fine.”

 

Sunny creaks open the door as Kel and Aubrey fade into an eerie silence.

 

Aubrey looks at him expectantly, but he notices her expression change instantly as she sees the blonde boy behind him.

 

“...hi, Sunny.” She looks away.

 

“Sunny!!” Kel runs up to him, pulling him into a bear hug. Noticing Basil staring awkwardly at the ground, he pulls him in too, with a small gasp of surprise from the flower boy.

 

“Hi, Kel…”

 

“Sunny, you’ve gotta tell me everything! I’ll force you to, since you hate writing good letters.” He squeezes Sunny a bit tighter, letting him know that he doesn’t have a choice in this.

 

“L-later… later… I promise.”

 

He does feel a bit bad about being so secretive. But every time he wanted to truly write how he felt in the moment, he was suddenly unable to. His brain faded to static, and every word he wrote was too verbose; too offensive; too awkward; too imperfect. It was like he was cursed. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him, yet at the same time, he also thought they couldn’t care less about him. So his letters remained simple and mundane, keeping up an image of being okay, as useless as small talk with a stranger.

 

Sunny wanted to write so badly to the people whom he once loved, to tell them what he really thought, to apologize for everything a thousand times over. Several drafts of letters to Aubrey sit unfinished in his desk drawers, and an untold amount of them ended up in the recycling bin. But it was never good enough; no, he was never good enough. If he wasn’t good enough for himself, then how could he possibly expect to be good enough for anyone else?

 

But now, it’s different. They’re here, face to face, and it seems like they’ve all been dying to hear from him. It feels nice to be wanted.

 

He deduces that Kel must have some sort of magical ability. He swears that he heard Aubrey laughing before him and Basil walked in, and against his own will, he’s smiling at the giant’s deep embrace. Sunny makes a promise to smile more.

 

And still, he can’t help but feel guilty that there’s someone out there who will never see his smile again.

 

Well, that thought kills it instantly.

 

Aubrey clears her throat. “Could… me and Sunny be alone for a second…?”

 

“Of course! Come on, Basil…” By the looks the two boys give each other, the mood of their conversation will be far from the positivity of their reunion. Basil stares a bit at Aubrey before leaving, dropping his gaze in shame.

 

Sunny stares awkwardly at Aubrey as they leave the room, Kel briefly putting a supportive hand on his shoulder.

 

“Come on, Sunny, I know you can talk. Just ‘cause I couldn’t yesterday doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”

 

“S-sorry…” he stammers. He sits down, taking something out from his bag. “I um, brought you this.” It’s a simple cup of strawberry ice cream.

 

“I-I’m sorry… I wanted to bring you more. But mom said you couldn’t eat too much. And it’s a little melted,” he mumbles. Basil’s fault.

 

“It’s fine, Sunny. I’m just glad you came back at all.” She stares at the ice cream, her mouth already watering. It’s been so long since she had something sweet.

 

“Of course I did!” he says, a bit defensively. “I wouldn’t abandon you.”

 

She sighs. But I would.

 

“S-Sunny, I… uh…” She holds up her bandaged hands. “Can you…” Her cheeks gain a pink tint.

 

“...feed you…?”

 

She nods, refusing to look him in the eyes. “Don’t tell anyone.”

 

“Why would I tell anyone?”

 

“N-never mind…” Clearly, he doesn’t recognize how embarrassing this is for her.

 

“Say ‘ah…’”

 

“Shut up…” Okay, maybe he does know. She’ll get him back someday.

 

Someday, right? Because they’ll be friends again. Because they can just move on from it, a simple argument, like Kel said. She wishes it were that easy.

 

She feels hypocritical. Here’s one of the perpetrators, feeding her ice cream in bed, while she refused to even acknowledge the other one waiting outside. They had an equal part in the crime, did they not? Basil lives less than a block away from her. She sees him all the time, yet she avoids him. How come she can suppress it so easily with Sunny?

 

Some stupid old feelings, maybe. But more likely, it’s because seeing Basil so often has trained her only to think of her misgivings. He reminds her of everything she’s done wrong.

 

“Aubrey,” Sunny murmurs suddenly, “Basil told me. What you did.”

 

She stops moving her mouth, the ice cream melting slowly on her tongue. Her heart pounds into her ears.

 

“You don’t have to talk about it. I understand.”

 

“...you don’t.”

 

“I… you’re right. But I… understand why, I guess. Or something like that.” He searches for some better words, something to tell her how he feels, but he comes up short.

 

Of course he could never understand. Only Aubrey really could. Maybe what he wants to say is that he’ll be there for her, that no matter her reasoning, he’ll stand by her. At the very least, he gets why she doesn’t want to talk about it. He knows exactly what that’s like.

 

“Just don’t… bring it up.”

 

“Mhm.” He feeds her a couple more spoonfuls of ice cream in silence. The room itself seems to cool down.

 

“You know I… sorry. Never mind.” He mentally facepalms. What did she just say?

 

I brought down the mood. Maybe Kel could make her smile again.

 

“...out of ice cream,” he mutters. He wishes he had more. He would plan an entire feast for her if that’s what she wanted.

 

“That’s fine. How’ve you been, Sunny…?” Aubrey mumbles, “Is it… nice? In the city?”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“...”

 

“Um… it’s boring.”

 

“Sounds great.” She sighs. “I’d love to be bored. Sick of all this… stuff happening.”

 

“...it’s not that great.”

 

She studies his face. “What about your new friends?”

 

“...”

 

“...Sunny?”

 

“It’s fine. But I just… I miss it. All of it. In Faraway.” He walks away to throw the empty cup of ice cream away.

 

“Huh. I just wanna leave. Don’t you… feel like that too? That you need a clean slate?”

 

“My slate’s not clean. Things… come out.” He looks ruefully at the ground.

 

What does he mean by that…?

 

“Sunny, um…” This is probably the only chance I’ll get to bring this up…

 

“I… so I wanna leave.”

 

He nods.

 

“Well, it would, um, help. If you could… help,” she says, a bit lamely.

 

“You mean like…”

 

“I don’t wanna live with you. But just… I don’t know, show me around. How to survive out there.”

 

He scoffs. “You think I know how to survive ‘out there’? You’d know better than me.”

 

“Please, Sunny. I don’t… wanna be alone. And I can’t stay in Faraway.”

 

“...”

 

“I know, it’s stupid. I’ve been pushing everyone away so I can be alone. B-but I… I can’t take it. Anymore.”

 

‘Aubrey, I’d… do anything for you. You can live with me as long as you need.”

 

“N-no! I shouldn’t. I’ll just burden you. And your mom. All I want is to see you every once in a while.”

 

“I… really want you to,” he mumbles. “If that changes your opinion.”

 

“Why?!” Tears well up in her eyes. “You shouldn’t. I don’t know why I even asked. Don’t pity me.” Her throat hurts, her voice straining. 

 

Sunny calmly grabs her hand, holding it tightly. “It’s not pity. It’s because I l-... I care about you. And I like spending time with you. Talking to you. And having… a friend. It would be nice.”

 

“You should have better friends than me,” she says bitterly.

 

He wipes a tear off her face.

 

“...”

 

“You guys are way too nice,” she murmurs. “You know, Kel told me to be selfish before you came in here. Just straight up. How? I don’t know how you could care so much about me when I hardly care about myself.”

 

“There is… something I want from you.”

 

“...”

 

“Talk to Basil. Please.”

 

“...”

 

“I know you two… um. Well…” He rubs the back of his neck.

 

“...aren’t on the greatest terms.”

 

“I’ll try. But…” she huffs. “Not today. Please.”

 

Sunny nods, squeezing her hand. “I’ll tell them to leave.”

 

“Stay!” she blurts. “Stay…” Both her hands clasp around his as she pleads. She’s suddenly conscious of how bony they are.

 

“I will, I will… I still have a couple more hours. And you know that we’ll all be back tomorrow, right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

He leaves the room, and Aubrey can hear a distant conversation outside. She misses him, of course, but it’s not as bad as yesterday. She takes a couple deep breaths, trying not to think about everything she’s done to end up here.

 

Her mind shifts to Sunny, who may as well be the only positive part of her life right now. His presence itself is calming to her, though to some it might be unnerving. His silence always speaks volumes. His simple actions, like softly holding her hand, mean far more to her than any words could. It shows how he’s always thinking, always caring. He remembered her favorite ice cream flavor. He recognized how she wanted, no, needed to distract herself from everything. 

 

It was surprising to her how readily he started speaking, but she supposes that it’s because it was something he was passionate about. She won’t force him to talk today, though. Just being there is enough, especially if she does the talking like she’s planning to.

 

I have to tell you something.

 

Just the thought of her being the one to say those words fills her with dread. They’re so simple, yet they mean so much. She plans it out in her head, every gruesome detail of her story. Sure, Sunny knows the basics already. That makes it a little easier to get over the initial shock. But what will he think of her after all of that? She really couldn’t control herself? She’s a liability, and he’s just another victim waiting for her when she snaps. She’s the real psychopath here. His kitchen knife was nothing compared to the carnage caused by her own murder weapon.

 

She could try to make some excuse that they’re both murderers in a way. But his was an accident, a simple mistake, just a result of bad luck, and he was only 12 years old. On the other hand, Aubrey committed her crime fully on purpose, as a legal adult, and even had the gall to defile the corpse after she was done. Even after that initial hit, she still felt the need to cut her open, to show her rotting insides to the world, use her own mother as a punching bag for her pathetic anger issues.

 

If Sunny won’t see how much of a monster she is, then she’ll make him see. Then, he can make his decision for real.

 

“...Aubrey?” Sunny puts his hand on her shoulder. “You want me to continue where I left off?”

 

“No. I have a… different story. To tell you.”

Chapter 7: A Secret to Tell

Notes:

There is also gore in this chapter. I think you know why.

It’s Aubrey’s 18th birthday today.

 

Hooray.

 

She wakes up with the Sun as it shines through her window, burying her face in her pillow to blot it out. She wishes she could fall asleep again and take her chances in her dreams. Maybe one day she’ll win the lottery and actually have a good one.

 

But until then, it’s just a coinflip between nothing and… that.

 

That sequence of events that still haunts her as it has for six years now. Six years without her.

 

Sometimes, she’s in the backyard again. Sometimes, Basil’s house. Sometimes, the pier at the hangout spot. But most of the time, it’s the hospital.

 

She can’t believe that she’s an adult now. Older than Mari. Ironic, since she was the most mature person Aubrey had ever known.

 

She wishes she could be a kid again. To be carefree and innocent, when her greatest concerns were reading the new issue of Spaceboy before she could get spoiled or doing better than Kel in their latest math test.

 

Aubrey sighs into her pillow, feeling the warmth of her breath spread on her face. Her stomach growls, begging for her to get out of bed today.

 

She has no plans to, though. She knows that people will probably be at her door today, and she’ll have to tell them off before they shatter her window with some rocks. 

 

They’re too good to her. She makes no effort to participate in conversation anymore, hoping that someone will just yell at her and kick her out of the group. Aren’t they supposed to be the heartless delinquents? She still shoplifts, at least, but it’s not because she wants to. It’s pretty much forced at this point if she wants to keep living.

 

Which… well…

 

Sometimes, Aubrey asks herself why she’s still here. What’s left on Earth for her? Assuming she makes it to some afterlife, Mari will be there, which is more enticing than anything. But if the church has any truth to it, she’s not ending up in the same place as her. There are always whispers. Every time she attends a sermon, without fail. Something about her deteriorating health, her equally deteriorating house, how it’s just penance for the crimes she’s committed.

 

She hates those churchpeople, but she still holds out a belief in God. He has infinite forgiveness. Even someone like her could earn a spot in Heaven eventually, if scripture is to be believed. But it’s a bit hard to think that when His earthly followers don’t seem to share the same forgiveness.

 

She groans as her body cries out for her to take care of it. At times, when it gets to be the worst, she considers not going downstairs even to use the bathroom. But despite it all, she can’t bring herself to stoop that low. She has to have some standards.

 

So Aubrey begrudgingly gets out of bed, instinctively grabbing her bat as she has for the past two years. It doesn’t leave her side anymore. It’s a hand-me-down from Mari, after all. Without the photos, this is all she has left of her. Part of her wishes she’d kept at least one photo for herself.

 

After finishing her business in the bathroom, she takes a long look at herself in the mirror. Her clothes hang looser on her bones, and she has perpetual bags under her eyes despite all that time trying to sleep. Her hair could use a touch-up, though it’s been fading slower since she stopped showering. She blinks a couple times at her reflection to make sure she’s really there.

 

She’d thought it was getting better. She was going to school and everything, doing well in her classes, focusing on the work to distract herself from her spiraling thoughts. Kim took her to some fancy salon for her hair. That was the last time she remembers having fun.

 

And then, for seemingly no reason at all, her inner thoughts won. One day, she took a dull knife to her own skin. It barely even scarred. She started crying herself to sleep, waiting hours and hours for it to take her every night. Her schoolwork dropped behind. She stopped going outside, stopped eating when she could afford to (which was often). The worst part was that nothing even happened. Nothing changed. She takes better care of Bun-Bun than she does herself. So that’s something, at least.

 

It’s getting harder and harder to imagine that things could ever get better from here.

 

She wants to leave. She knows exactly how she would do it. Bun-Bun could be free from his cage. But something’s preventing her, and she can’t figure out what it is or why.

 

The bathroom door creaks as Aubrey leaves, and if she knew what such a trivial action could lead to, she’d never make a sound again.

 

“Aubrey.” A chill goes down her spine. She’s never heard a more disgusting voice in her life. One destroyed by decades of smoking and misuse, a voice so grating it could grind rocks into dust. 

 

“Don’t ignore me.”

 

Aubrey closes her eyes for a moment before turning around, walking into her mother’s throne room.

 

“...what is it?”

 

Her mom laughs. It’s sickening.

 

“You’re 18.” She’s surprised she knows what day it is.

 

“Yeah. And?”

 

Her expression sours. “You’re not useful anymore.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“You just take up space. No contributions, not without any child support money.”

 

“That’s not true!” The world seems to close in around her. Her breath shakes; her heart pounds into her skull.

 

“Didn’t have my medication yesterday. Now I’ve got a headache,” she grumbles, holding her head. “You’d do this to your own mother?”

 

“...medication,” Aubrey scoffs. “Is that what you’re calling it now?”

 

“I’ll just get to the point. You’re kicked out. Leave within an hour.”

 

“N-no… you can’t… do this to me…”

 

“Useless brat,” she spits. “If you don’t leave, I’ll call the cops and tell them I’ve got a squatter.”

 

“...I’m your daughter,” she whimpers. She collapses to her knees, her bat clattering to the ground. Her lungs feel like they could burst at any second. She inhales sharply, tears rolling down her face.

 

Aubrey’s ‘mother’ laughs. “Then I disown you. Shoulda done that a long time ago.”

 

Aubrey’s vision is clouded by tears, her mom’s face obscured at the edge of her vision. She sees her stand up from the couch and lean down toward her.

 

“Look at me.”

 

She slaps her across the face as soon as Aubrey looks up, sending her crashing into the ground.

 

“You’re worthless. And one day, you’ll waste your life away like I am.”

 

Aubrey pants with ragged breaths, her eyes shut as she cowers on the ground.

 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to out there. Maybe one day you’ll have ten times the useless daughters I have.”

 

She mumbles something that even she can’t understand.

 

“What’s that? Speak up!” Aubrey feels a sharp pain in her ribs, curling up even further into herself.

 

“...stop…” she whispers, “please…”

 

“If you don’t leave,” her tormentor shouts, “then I’ll do it myself!”

 

Aubrey cries out in pain as something hits her head, finally opening her eyes. Light dances around her vision from the cracked windows of her house. She coughs up blood. Her world spins, a ringing in her ears.

 

She’s going to die here.

 

She endures blow after blow, shivering on the ground, her body screaming in pain for what feels like forever.

 

Seemingly on its own, her hand reaches out for her only hope. She grasps at a handle she didn’t know was there. She stands up slowly, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

 

“Oh, so you’ve changed your mind? Stronger than I thought.” Her mother smirks, showing off her rotten teeth.

 

Aubrey leans on her bat, holding her head. Her eyes open wider than they’ve ever been, finally staring the devil in her dark brown eyes.

 

The same eyes in her own skull.

 

The same eyes she tried to change.

 

You’re weak.

You’re worthless.

You’ll never amount to anything.

You’re just a criminal.

You’ll spend your life rotting away.

 

She’s a sinner.

There’s no afterlife waiting for her.

She’s a bully.

She looks pathetic.

Did her gang abandon her?

 

You can’t give up here.

 

Her vision clears.

 

But only for a moment. Because after her second of clarity, all she sees is red.

 

Hit her hard for me.

 

She readies her weapon for its first and only true use.

 

Don’t hold back.

 

Aubrey hits a home run.

 

The crack is sickening as her mother falls to the ground, launched a full six feet away. But she isn’t done yet.

 

Her expression turns manic, a terrifying smile forming on her face. 

 

One more swing. Another. Another. Aubrey carves out tunnels into her victim, dragging the nails through her like a knife through butter. Several nails dislodge and scatter onto the ground. Blood splatters everywhere, some of it reaching her face. Aubrey takes off her bloodstained jacket, plunging her hand into the body and emptying out its intestines, tearing through flesh like a birthday present. She smashes them beneath her feet, leaving the body on the ground like a gutted animal. Her bat smashes straight through the ribs, intending to reach for her empty heart.

 

She breathes heavily, readying for another swing before taking in the grisly sight in front of her. Her body hurts. She coughs up more blood, realizing what she’s done.

 

“...mom.” If she hadn’t left the face intact, it’s hard to believe that this used to be a human at all. She collapses on the floor, her clothes red, her eyes still wide open. She puts the jacket back on, soaked in blood, in an attempt to warm herself, but the cold she feels comes from within. When she turns back, she wants to vomit, but there’s nothing to throw up. She dry heaves, holding her bat for support as she shuffles towards the ladder. Towards safety. Everything will be okay.

 

Her quaking hands reach for rung after rung, closing her eyes to cut out the memory from her head. She continues gripping the bat, expertly climbing with it in her grip like she has been for years now. She gasps for air as her feet nearly betray her, barely saving herself. She needs to get up here. There’s nothing else going through her mind.

 

Aubrey lies still in her bed, blood drying on her hands. She screams at the top of her lungs, letting it all out until her breath runs out, her voice raw. She continues heaving, trying to eject something that isn’t there. She rips out her contacts, stinging her eyes, and shatters them on the ground under her feet. She walks over to the window and ooks out at the society that rejected her. There’s only one way to go from here.

 

She punches at the glass, but it refuses to break. With every blow, she gets angrier and angrier, until it finally succumbs to her onslaught. She rams her head into the window, shattering it and spilling shards everywhere. Her head spins with exhaustion. She jams her hand into the holes, cutting open her wrists, seething in pain. She grabs at a large piece on the ground, cutting open her fingers, slicing her forearms and crying in pain. It’ll all be over soon.

 

She barely has any energy left to stumble back to her bed, collapsing next to it.. In her last moment of consciousness, she grabs for her bat. For Mari’s bat. Or is it tainted now by her misdeeds? Dark spots overwhelm her as she reaches again and again, failing every time. 

 

Everything fades to black.

 

---

“There,” she whispers. “That’s everything.”

 

Sunny hands her another tissue, gently holding her hand as he has been for the past hour.

 

“How did you do that…?” she mutters. “You explained everything so quickly. Said you were sorry. Knew what you did was wrong.”

 

“I had… four years. To think about it,” he murmurs. 

 

“I hope you know… that I don’t wanna explain that more than once. They’ve seen the aftermath already.”

 

He nods. “I don’t think any less of you.”

 

“…”

 

“You were… suffering. So you did something about it.”

 

“I’m really sorry,” he whispers, “this is all my fault.”

 

“What?!” Aubrey sits up, legitimately angry. “You think I can just tell you all of that for it to be your fault?!”

 

“W-well I…”

 

“I don’t wanna hear it, Sunny.”

 

“But…”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“…”

 

“…sorry. But it’s not your fault. You didn’t open up your mom like a fucking birthday present.”

 

He tries to suppress a giggle, looking to the ground.

 

“W-what? This is serious!” She tries to sound angry, but she can’t stop the smile on her face, maybe a little too proud of herself for coming up with that one.

 

“Sorry,” he sighs. “But… it was a good present, wasn’t it?”

 

“If you mean that I’ll get charged with first degree murder, I don’t know.”

 

“I think you’ll be fine. I meant more that… you’re free.”

 

“Free. Really.” She gestures to the hospital bed.

 

“But… after. The city’s huge. It’s an oyster.”

 

“Sunny…” she relaxes her shoulders a bit. “You don’t have to do that.” Also, that’s not how the saying goes at all.

 

“I want to.”

 

“…”

 

“How many days? Until you leave?”

 

“Just a couple,” she sighs. “They said I’m in… good health. Somehow.”

 

He nods approvingly, lost in thought.

 

“Did you really… expect that? You can’t be that optimistic…”

 

“You’re just strong,” he murmurs.

 

She blushes a little, looking away. “What’s your place like, anyways?”

 

“Um…” I really need to sell this to her…

 

“...it’s nice.”

 

“...is that it?”

 

“Well, um… it’s got a… kitchen. And two bedrooms. And a bathroom. It’s on the fourth floor.”

 

“Fourth floor? What’s the view like?”

 

She swears that she can see sparkles form in his eye. “There’s this park. It’s really grassy, with stone paths going everywhere. There’s a tiny pond in the middle of it. Sometimes there’s people feeding ducks there.”

 

“And around the whole park, there’s tons of tall buildings. They go all the way up into the sky, so high you can’t see the top. It’s like… an oasis,” he muses. “There’s so many different trees. In fall, they’re all different colors, but a lot of them stay green.”

 

“And then there’s a ton of shops on the bottom. The leftmost one… is just a McDonald’s,” he mutters. “But the other ones, there’s this music store, and a movie rental place, and the arcade! I…” he suddenly stops talking.

 

“...sorry.”

 

“For what?” She smiles softly at him. “I… really like hearing you talk.”

 

“Well I… I don’t know. Isn’t this boring?”

 

“No! I wanna hear about it! Especially if I’m gonna… live there…” she trails off. “Y-you’re really… doing this, huh. For me.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I still don’t… really get it. But if it’s what you want, then your loss.”

 

“My… gain,” he says, searching for better words. “Um… you know, ‘cause it’s the opposite of loss.”

 

“I got that.”

 

A new thought pops into Sunny’s head. “Aubrey… you need to pay for this, right?” He gestures to the bed.

 

“Don’t! I’ll be fine.”

 

“Wha- I didn’t even-”

 

“You’re doing enough. I’ll work it off myself.”

 

“...”

 

“Hospital bills are really expensive,” he sighs, thinking back to when he’d had to get his eye removed. “You don’t even have insurance.”

 

“Maybe I… do?” What even is insurance…

 

He gives her a confused look. “Um, you’ll be in a lot of debt. For the rest of your life, probably.”

 

“It can’t be that bad,” she scoffs.

 

“I’m sure that… Basil and Kel wanna help somehow.”

 

“Don’t even dare suggest that to them. I’m fine.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“...”

 

“You’re totally gonna fucking tell them.”

 

“N-no! I… well…”

 

“And they won’t say no,” she sighs.

 

The pair sit there for a while, just relaxing in each other’s presence. They don’t exchange many words, just simple hand squeezes.

 

Sunny feels her fingers interlocked with his own, her right hand with his left, rubbing gently against the bandages as he thinks through it all. 

 

…

 

“Sunny?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Could you… walk me to the bathroom? I can’t leave without having… someone else. And I don’t trust the nurses.”

 

He nods, standing up from his chair. He holds her firmly as she attempts to get up.

 

“Don’t help me.”

 

“...”

 

“...whatever.” He helps pull her to her feet, her legs shaking as she readjusts to walking again.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“No.”

 

He stares at her.

 

“...not that much.”

 

“...”

 

“You’re so annoying! It hurts. Okay. But I can take it!”

 

He slings his arm around her shoulder, supporting her as she walks.

 

“‘t’s not that bad…” She mutters as she begrudgingly leans on him, shuffling her feet slowly across the floor.

 

…

 

Sunny waits outside the bathroom, pondering the next steps. They’ll probably have to visit Faraway to get whatever she has left at her house. He hopes Bun-Bun is still alive. From the way Aubrey talked about it, the bunny was probably still in good health. He also needs to tell his mom about everything… he can’t just bring her home with no explanation.

 

He dreads talking to her. She isn’t terrible, but she’s very… distant. Their conversations hardly get beyond the surface, and he knows that she doesn’t really understand him. She thinks that everything can be solved with hugs and kisses, which to be fair, Sunny does enjoy. But there’s a lot left unsaid between them, and it’ll probably stay that way forever.

 

She knew what he did before anyone even examined the body, though a mother’s intuition. And then came the fights. So many fights. So much yelling. Sunny often found himself dragged into the crossfire, subjected to endless vitriol by his own father. It was a relief when he left. But it also hurt. It hurt that he was never good enough for him and never will be.

 

At some point, he thinks that his mother gave up on him too. She became more forgetful, stopped bringing food to his room, left him to rot while she pursued her own dreams of working in medicine. He doesn’t blame her for it. He was holding her back. But the irony did sting when he realized that she would rather take care of strangers than her own son.

 

It probably won’t be hard to convince her to let Aubrey stay. The main problem will be what comes after. Will she attend school? Go to college with him? He’s only one year behind, and taking an extra year could be good for her. He knows that she was never a bad student, but he doubts that she’ll be able to graduate this year. He’s so young that most people don’t even bat an eye, despite being the oldest one in his grade. No one has ever asked him if he was held back. Most of them are just curious about his eye.

 

“Sunny?” He snaps back to find a hand waving in front of his face.

 

“What’re you thinking about?” Aubrey smiles as he blinks a couple times to reorient himself.

 

“Just… stuff.” He takes her hand.

 

“I can walk by myself.”

 

“...okay.”

 

She makes it a couple steps before stumbling.

“No,” she says, holding out a hand to stop him. “I’m fine.”

 

“...”

 

“D-don’t look at me like that! You said I was strong!”

 

“You’re not. Right now! I mean!” he says, panicked. “Um… sometimes, strong people… fall down.”

 

“...”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“No, you’re just… trying to help. I’m sorry.” She walks over to him, leaning on him once more.

 

When they get back to her room, Sunny stops her next to her bed. He wraps his arms around her, like a certain someone always did for him. Aubrey tenses up at first in surprise, but relaxes as she accepts his hug, returning it to him. She lowers her head into his shoulder, listening to his heart beat, his calm breathing. She doesn’t want to let go.

 

She closes her eyes, her hands firmly gripping his back, holding him tightly so she doesn’t lose him again. Sunny feels something wet on his shoulder, and he holds her tighter as a result. 

 

Eventually, he pulls away from their embrace, looking her in the eyes, saying more to her than is possible in words.

 

“...thanks, Sunny.”

 

“Thought you… needed it.”

 

Aubrey nods.

Notes:

record-breaking chapter release time

hope it isn't too rushed, i just really wanted to write these scenes

Chapter 8: Loose Ends

The phone’s ringing.

 

A man picks it up, yawning as he runs his fingers through his messy brown hair.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Hero! Um… some stuff happened. That you should know about.”

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Uh…”

 

He hears some whispers on the other side. Probably Basil.

 

“…you can’t just lead with that!”

 

“Why not?”

 

Hero sighs. “Kel, just tell me. Are you in trouble with mom again?” He rubs his eyes, sitting up in bed.

 

“No!” He says, maybe a little too defensively. “It’s, um. It’s Aubrey.”

 

“Aubrey…” Wasn’t her birthday a couple days ago…?

 

“She, um. Don’t freak out. But her mom’s dead. And she’s in the hospital.”

 

“What?!” He’s fully awake now. Good thing his roommate isn’t here.

 

“I just said not to freak out! But… yeah. Thought you should know.”

 

“...”

 

“Okay, well, by-”

 

“Kel! You can’t just say that! What happened?!” Hero stands up, pacing around his dorm room.

 

“Ow! Basil, you do it then, if you don’t trust me.”

 

“U-um… hi, Hero.” A timid voice takes over the phone.

 

“Hi, Basil.” He sighs.

 

“So um… it was her birthday. And we wanted to go see her. But when we walked into her house…” Hero can sense him shuddering though the phone.

 

“There was a… body. Her mom. A-and… Aubrey was upstairs. With her wrists cut. But we saved her! S-she’s… alright. Yeah.”

 

“Basil, you’re terrible at this! Where’s all the details?!”

 

“Shut up, Kel! He doesn’t need to know all that!”

 

“So, was it natural? Or…” She was probably on her way out anyways…

 

“Um. No. Aubrey killed her.”

 

“And you said I would be too blunt…”

 

Somehow, he’s not that surprised. “Well, alright. Don’t think her mom was a great person anyways.”

 

“Basil, gimme that!”

 

“Hey!” Some scuffling is heard in the background.

 

“Alright, Hero, I’m back. Don’t worry about us, okay? Even Sunny visited her! I think we’ll be fine.”

 

“Wait, what?” You told Sunny before me?!

 

“Oh, yeah! It was like magic! We got to the hospital and he was just there!”

 

Hero stares at his bookshelf, where an old cookbook still sits. A gift from some old friends gone unused, collecting dust.

 

“Maybe I should… visit soon,” he mumbles, thinking out loud. 

 

“...”

 

“We really… miss you. Mom and Dad especially. But… don’t come if you’re not ready to yet.”

 

“I think… Kel, I’ve been ready for a while. Even if I’m a little uneasy.”

 

“…”

 

“Are you giving Aubrey a new place to live?”

 

“We’re planning to. But… I think she’s already got a better place. In the city.”

 

“With whom? Distant relative?”

 

“Sunny. Obviously.”

 

“…”

 

“Come on, couldn’t you see that coming?”

 

Hero pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“Yeah! It’s perfect!”

 

“…you want to put Aubrey in the same house as Sunny…? After she just killed her own mom for hurting her?”

 

“Sunny won’t hurt her!”

 

“I don’t mean… physically. But don’t you think she’ll be… mad? At him? And it’s about what he’s already done. He wouldn’t hurt anyone… on purpose.” He cringes a little after adding the “on purpose.”

 

“…oh. Well… they had some time alone together and I think it went well.”

 

“He told her bedtime stories!”

 

“…what?”

 

“And Aubrey’s not that reckless!”

 

“I’m not saying that. But she’s not in the right frame of mind. I think it’s a bad idea to bring up the past with her.”

 

“…”

 

“Kel?”

 

“Um, might be too late for that.”

 

“Kel…”

 

“I’ll talk to you later, bro! Bye!”

 

“What did you- ugh…” He dials the number again. Straight to voicemail. 

 

Hero checks his calendar. Of course, this had to happen right before his finals. There’s no availability anywhere, but once this is over, he’ll finally get a break in the summer. 

 

He really wishes he could visit Aubrey in the hospital, but it sounds like everyone is doing alright without him. It feels… strange. It’s his fault, after all; he chose to distance himself. But wasn’t it a good decision to do that? Who knows what would have happened had he stayed in Faraway? It’s better to move on for his own sake, but what about the people he left behind? 

 

What would Mari want?

 

She would want him to move on. To be happy. That’s what he’s told himself, and he’d like to think he’s done well. But she would also want him to take care of everyone, to be the hero that he was destined to be. And he definitely hasn’t lived up to that expectation. He’s all but abandoned their old friends, doing the bare minimum to keep in contact.

 

A wave of guilt washes over him. He’s had two years to visit, to say anything, but he could never bring himself to because of his own fears. It’s selfish. If he had been there, he could have reconciled Aubrey with the group. It’s no secret that they’ve been distant. 

 

He never did find out what exactly Mari loved so much about him. But if he has to guess, he’d like to think that it was because he cared about people. That he could be their hero not through anything superhuman, but because he could understand them and act accordingly. She liked the fact that he was, well, just human. She loved everything he did for her, both big and small, whether romantic or not. 

 

Plenty of girls have hit on him since he started college, but none of them were ever the same as her. Something about how she could see him, his true self, beyond the surface… she was something special. He can charm as many people as he wants, but there’s only one person who could ever charm him back. One day, maybe he’ll find someone else out there.

 

He knows it’s not healthy to hold on like this. And if he goes back to Faraway, if he sees her brother in the flesh, it might be too much to bear. He shouldn’t do this for her. She’s gone now. He’s doing this for them. For the ones he left behind. The living, not the dead.

 

But sometimes, he’d like to believe she’s not really gone.

 

---

Aubrey yawns, stretching her arms. She rubs her eyes, taking in the brightness of a new day. She can’t remember how or when she fell asleep, but she knows Sunny was there. Something about space pirates…

 

She’s surprised to see a new visitor in the chair beside her. “Kim?”

 

“Finally woke up, huh?” She flashes her a sad smile. “I’m really sorry, Aubrey. We’re… terrible.”

 

“What? No, you… what do you mean?”

 

“You were spiraling. And we didn’t help you. Didn’t try hard enough.”

 

“...don’t think you could’ve helped,” she mutters. “You tried. That’s what’s important.”

 

“...” She looks past her at something.

 

“Kim, I’m… sorry. For not opening up to you. It’s…” She sighs. “It’s a lot. I’m still… not really sure what’s real myself.”

 

“Don’t feel like you need to. It’s alright. Just, please… don’t do anything like that again.”

 

Aubrey finally follows Kim’s gaze, landing on a simple flowerpot. She recognizes the flower and its meaning instantly.

 

“‘My thoughts will follow you into your dreams’...”

 

“Where’d you…?”

 

“Basil. It’s from both of us.”

 

“...”

 

“Look, I know you’ve got… history. He won’t tell me either,” she grumbles. “But he said something about… you forgiving him. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

 

“No.”

 

“...”

 

I don’t deserve that. He does.

 

They fade into an awkward silence. Aubrey stares some more at the egret orchid.

 

“Do you remember… Mari? Sunny’s sister? From… six years ago… now…”

 

“Who…” she swallows. “...hanged herself.”

 

“Of course. That’s all anyone would talk about for a while. As kids, we weren’t supposed to know… but word got out anyways.” Kim sighs, remembering her parents explaining to her and Vance what suicide was. It was the first serious talks she’d ever had.

 

“I was… we were really close. A-after that, I fell apart. I think you… saved me, kind of. You and the other hooligans. And now, after everything, I’m just… ugh. Still a mess.”

 

“...”

 

“I guess, I’m just trying to say that you can… let me go. Just forget all of this, ‘cause I’m too far gone for you to help. My ‘old group.’ We’re… not who you think we are.” Aubrey closes her eyes, breathing slowly.

 

“I killed her. My own mom.” She expects tears to flow down her face, but she’s already cried enough.

 

She feels a warmth around her. “I know. I was there.”

 

You too, huh…? Was everyone there?

 

“Aubrey… you mean a lot to me, okay?” Kim lays her head on Aubrey’s shoulder, her hands uniting behind her back. “You’re still my best friend. You know that, right?”

 

“...”

 

“And if you ask me,” she whispers, “that bitch deserved it.”

 

She laughs a little. “Kel said… the same thing yesterday.” Her shoulders shudder up and down from both her tears and her laughter. She steadies herself a bit, her expression turning more somber.

 

“Don’t you think it matters, though? My mom, she… cared. At some point. She didn’t deserve… wait, did you see the body?”

 

“Yeah, you fuckin’ obliterated her. If it was that bad, then…” Kim pulls away from her, shrugging. “I made sure, by the way, that you won’t get in trouble. Trust me.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“If you don’t mind… what did she do to you?”

 

She takes a couple deep breaths. “I… it started after their divorce. She would… get drunk. All the time. That’s why I never drank, even if it was ‘cool’ or whatever.” Because I didn’t want to turn into her.

 

“And she’d… say things to me. Hit me sometimes. I had to feed myself, clothe myself… she made me buy things for her.”

 

“That day, when I killed her, she told me I was a waste of space. But it was for real this time. Said she’d call the cops if I didn’t leave right then and there. So I… well.”

 

Kim’s lip curls in disgust. “Sounds like… torture. Can’t believe you put up for so long.”

 

Aubrey sighs. “I… had this hope. That everything would get better. I think it did, at some point. It was after I met them. Mari, Sunny, you know.”

 

“Mari was like a mother to me, or a sister. A caretaker. S-she taught me… how to do things. To live by myself. But also, she taught me how to laugh. To have fun.”

 

“I pretty much stopped talking to my mom, started going out more, since I had other people to cling to. So when she…” she chokes out a sob, “I went back. To the only person I knew.”

 

“B-because… family. Th-they’re supposed… to help you!” She yells, taking ragged breaths, holding Kim’s hand for support. “I saw these perfect families. Two pairs of siblings. Everything I ever wanted. And I thought that it could work for me, too.”

 

“And I told myself it was the alcohol. But… she was sober when I killed her.” She looks up with tear-stricken eyes. “Do you think, Kim, that she was ever my mom at all?”

 

Kim feels like vomiting. “No. That sounds like a monster.”

 

Aubrey wipes her eyes. “I just don’t… get it. How could she… do that? I can still remember when she got me Bun-Bun. Had to convince my dad. S-she cared about me! So… what changed?”

 

“…”

 

“Some things don’t need to be explained, Aubrey. Your mom wasn’t who she used to be.”

 

Aubrey shuts her eyes again. “I wish I could… let go of her. Because she is a monster. But she was my mom, and that doesn’t count for nothing.”

 

“...”

 

“Thanks for visiting, Kim. And for the flower. It means a lot to me.” Her eyes land once more on the ethereal white petals.

 

“Of course. You’ll always have a place to stay in Faraway, you know that, right?”

 

“...yeah. How’d you… know I was leaving?”

 

“Heard some stuff. Kel, Basil… they’re alright. I see why you were friends with them.”

 

“Hm.”

 

Kel. I didn’t even decide that until last night. But he knew already, didn’t he?

 

“I wanna… tell you. The full story. But I think I’d need permission.”

 

“...permission?”

 

She sighs. “I don’t… mean to make it dramatic or whatever. But you wouldn’t see us in the same way.”

 

Kim’s brow furrows in concern. “After what you did? I still think you’re the same. How bad could it be?”

 

“Well, okay, maybe if you were a normal person you wouldn’t think that of me,” Aubrey scoffs. “I guess… it’s kinda like I thought you as an outsider. But you aren’t, not really.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“Where is everyone, anyways? Thought you’d all visit as a group. You keep just coming in one by one.”

 

“School.” Kim shrugs. “I skipped. More important.”

 

“Do people… know? What I did?”

 

“Don’t think so. There was a big crime scene thing. But it’s all just rumors. No one else saw the body.”

 

“Mm. That’s good.”

 

“‘sides, you haven’t shown up to school in a while. You’re kinda like a myth now. Pink demon and whatnot. I kinda… miss it.”

 

“Ha. Has it really been that long?”

 

“Well, no one important has forgotten you.”

 

“I know. Thanks.”

 

“We’re not bad people, are we?”

 

“Some of us are worse than others.” Aubrey flashes a wry smile.

 

Kim chuckles a little. “I kinda miss it. Runnin’ around, stealing shit with you, getting in fights. Was fun. Guess we mellowed out though, huh?”

 

“I hope so.” She looks to the side. “You’re kind of talking like I’m dying or something…”

 

She looks down at Aubrey’s body in the hospital bed, still covered in bandages. “You don’t really… look that great. I was really worried, you know?”

 

“I’ll be fine,” she says, crossing her arms. “I’m the strongest, right?”

 

Kim scoffs. “Bet I could snap you like a twig right now. Just be careful, alright?”

 

“Yeah.” Her gaze softens.

 

“I know you’ve got… someone. To take care of you out there.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“You and… him. I still remember.”

 

“...”

 

“Not sure what you see in him. But I trust you.”

 

“W-what do you… mean…” A faint blush appears on her cheeks.

 

“I dunno, he’s just kinda weird.”

 

“Hm.” Aubrey looks… relieved?

 

“Hey, wait a second… are you…?” She looks at her incredulously.

 

“No! H-he’s a… friend. Just a friend.” Maybe not even a friend.

 

“Really?” She smirks.

 

“...”

 

“I just…” Aubrey sighs. “No. It’s stupid. I used to like him like that. But things… changed. Between us. I don’t know what I was expecting. And I haven’t even seen him in two years.”

 

“Well, that’ll be fun, hm? Maybe distract yourself from… all this.”

 

“He doesn’t deserve… a wreck like me.”

 

“…”

 

“It’s just like… a stupid fantasy. Maybe it’d be better if she hadn’t…”

 

“…Aubs, are you sure you wanna be around him? Doesn’t sound like… you have fond memories. Didn’t he stab you?”

 

“That part doesn’t matter.”

 

Kim blinks a couple times in surprise. “Really?”

 

“Yes, really. He’s do- never mind.” 

 

“…what has he done…?”

 

“I-it’s… you don’t need to know.”

 

“Okay…” Kim purses her lips. 

 

“And I… wanna be around him still. Because those memories are so bad. So that we can make new ones together.”

 

So he can prove to me that he’s still Sunny.

 

She can’t just let those years go to waste. All that time spent together, everything that happened before it all came crashing down. If Mari wasn’t around, it was always him. Sometimes she’d even go to him first. It doesn't matter how young they were, how naïve they were, how trivial their conversations could be. There was something there.

 

She can’t believe how easily she discounted their relationship when he decided to show up again. That she had the audacity to call him the psychopath when she’d been neglecting him for years. Did she ever really care about him in the first place? So innocent and fragile; without Mari, he needed help, and no one was there for him. 

 

“And what if he’s… not who you think he is?”

 

“...”

 

“Aubrey?”

 

“I won’t believe that.”

 

“You’re… playing a dangerous game, you know that, right?”

 

“...I know.” She tries to steady her breathing.

 

“I trust you, but… I still just think there’s something off.”

 

“Oh, there is.” Aubrey smiles ruefully. “He’s probably as fucked up as me.”

 

“...not helping your case here.”

 

“He’s dealt with it better than I have.”

 

“Uh-huh…”

 

“No, actually though. I think he’s been doing good. He stayed with me for… I don’t know, four hours yesterday?” She instinctively clasps her hands, almost expecting to feel someone else’s in their grasp.

 

“Just be careful.”

 

“You said that already. And I will.”

 

“...never thought you’d fall this hard for someone…”

 

“That’s not-! What?!”

 

“Okay, obviously it’s more complicated than that. But like… come on. Have some fun!”

 

“I’ve got bigger concerns,” she huffs.

 

“Maybe getting a more… normal life will help you. Make sure you keep in contact, okay? I wanna hear all about it.”

 

“You will…”

 

“You need my number?”

 

“Mhm…”

 

Aubrey knows Kim’s phone number by heart already, but it’s not like she would ever tell her that. It’s not the first time she’s been away from Faraway. There were always plans, always a hope of getting away. But she could never make it truly happen. Part of her preparations were memorizing numbers and addresses, just in case she found herself in a dire situation. She doesn’t have a mobile phone herself, though at times she was tempted to steal one. Unfortunately, it seems like they have passwords.

 

“Alright, let’s talk about something else. Hm, you wanna hear about Kel and Mikhael’s ‘race’?” She puts it in air quotes. “God, it’s honestly nice to have him around just to see those two interact.”

 

Aubrey exhales, a smile already forming on her face.

 

---

Sunny hears some laughter echoing out of the hospital room. He clutches the flowerpot in his hands tightly, thinking about all the flowers given to him in his own hospital room. Basil took them in, of course. It seemed like the right thing to do.

 

He slowly creaks open the door.

 

“...you fuckin’ nerd, I didn’t think you liked Spaceboy that much…”

 

“S-shut up! I’m not…” Both girls turn as he walks into the room. His gaze flickers between the flower already beside the bed and the white petals of the one in his hands.

 

“Oh…” His lips hang open ever so slightly, thinking of what to say.

 

“Beat ya to it!” Kim smiles wryly. “Or I guess, Basil did.”

 

“Mm.” He sets the pot down. “Sorry.”

 

“Sorry…?” Aubrey smiles warmly at him. “Thank you. For everything, Sunny.”

 

“Need some alone time?” Kim winks. “See you tomorrow, Aubs.” She gives her a quick hug before walking over to her replacement.

 

“You.” She stands on her tip-toes, still a couple inches shorter than him, staring directly into his eyes.

 

“Y-yeah?” He tenses up. She’s intimidating despite her short stature.

 

“Take care of her.”

 

He nods. “Of course.”

 

“You’d better.” She taps him on the chest, making him flinch, before turning around and leaving the room.

 

He relaxes his shoulders, taking her seat and taking Aubrey’s hand, as he’s grown used to these past couple days.

 

“How’s your day?” She looks to be in a much happier mood.

 

“Was alright.”

 

“That’s good…”

 

“...”

 

“God, I can’t wait to get out of here. I haven’t… felt like this. In so long.”

 

He squeezes her hand.

 

“It’s… crazy, isn’t it? Just a couple days ago was probably my lowest point. But now, I don’t know. Feels… free, like you said.”

 

“Can only go up from your lowest.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Have any… plans?”

 

“Get some new contacts. I ripped ‘em out like a fucking idiot. Hate everything being all blurry.”

 

“Then, just kinda get back in shape. Dye my hair. Have some actual food. I think I’ve eaten trash that’s better than this hospital stuff.”

 

“N-not that… I eat trash. It’s just, sometimes, the Othermart throws out expired stuff, and I take it, and… you know?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I-I don’t eat trash! Stop with that stupid face…” Her face glows a faint red.

 

“Sorry…” He tries his best to hide his grin, looking away.

 

“Hmph. Anyways, you probably know an eye doctor, since…” She stares at his glass eye.

 

“Mhm.” He slowly brings his free hand up to the scar, tracing its edges. Sometimes, it’s still hard to believe it’s gone.

 

“Did it… hurt?” she whispers.

 

He nods. But he’s handled worse. What came before that night, what came after. He’d lose his other eye to never live through that again.

 

“Could’ve been worse.”

 

“Could always be worse,” she murmurs.

 

“Mm.”