Chapter Text
~ Kissracha ~
Minho: BANHG CHRISTOPHER CHAHN
Innie: Hyung, it is too early for shouting
Jisung: Oh no
Jisung: Capitals
Jisung: What did Channie-hyung do?
Seungmin: His English name has been used
Seungmin: So either murder, or he called Lino-hyung’s cat ugly
Minho: There would be no warning for death if you called my cats ugly
Minho: Only darkness
Hyunjin: So…murder?
Minho: @Chan WHERE IS MY KITTEN?
Seungmin: Probably still asleep on the studio couch
Minho: He better not be, with his bad back, or Chan will not live to see the new comeback
Changbin: He is here at our dorm, hyung
Hyunjin: I haven’t seen him
Changbin: You were asleep when they got back from the studio
Jisung: Why isn’t hyung answering? He should be awake by now
Changbin: I wouldn’t be answering either, if I had my arms full of Yongbok
Jisung: I want cuddles
Jisung: I am coming over
Seungmin: You realise you live there and don’t need to announce going home, right? You spend too much time here, you still live there
Jisung: Firstly, RUDE
Jisung: Secondly, Jinnie insists on being notified before any cuddles are attempted
Innie: Interesting 🤔I saw Felix-hyung cuddle up to him at practice yesterday without any notice given to us
Hyunjin: Lix is the exception
Jisung: gasp Discrimination!!
Changbin: I am pretty sure Lix gets an exception from most of us, you included, Innie
Changbin: In fact, you especially, Innie
Innie: I don’t deny that
Jisung: As Lix’s twin, we are basically the same person, and all exceptions should also apply to me
Hyunjin: No
Innie: No
Seungmin: No
Changbin: No
Minho: No.
Jisung: WOW. Even my soulmate turns against me
Chan: Would you all be quiet
Chan: Lix is still sleeping and he looks so cute.
Hyunjin: Send pictures
Jisung: Send nudes
Chan: Han Jisung!
Jisung: What? It was just a joke
Minho: No, it wasn’t
Jisung: Okay it wasn’t
Jisung: But you can’t all tell me that naked Aussies aren’t tempting
Innie: …
Changbin: …
Seungmin: …
Minho: …
Hyunjin: I am Aussie
Jisung: And I’d happily see you naked, too, pabo
Chan: Even you, Seungmin?
Seungmin: I’m reserved
Seungmin: not celibate
Chan: Okay, since I live with a pack of perverts
Minho: Correction—you lead a pack of perverts
Minho: don’t think I haven’t noticed how you look at Yongbokkie
Chan: …
Chan: ANYWAY
Chan: What I was about to say was, we need to have a family meeting today about what we all want to happen moving forward with Lixie
Chan: And there will be NO horny talk!
Jisung: Hyuuuuunnnggg
Jisung: How do you expect me not to get horny looking at Lix’s pretty face
Innie: And that waist
Hyunjin: And those tiny hands
Innie: THE TINY HANDS
Chan: We are not going to scare Lixie with your horny thoughts, it’s too soon
Chan: We need to woo him
Seungmin: Okay, grandpa
Chan: Yah! Kim Seungmin
Minho: We will be there at 11am. My kitten better have been fed when I see him
Changbin: I will order take out for everyone
Chan: Good idea, Bin. See everyone at 11
Minho: That is NOT what I meant
Minho: Then again, I guess that’s better than subjecting him to whatever slop you heathens might attempt to cook for him
Minho: Very well
~ Feel Lix ~
Jisung added Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin.
Jisung changed his name to Hannie
Jisung changed Hyunjin’s name to Jinnie
Jisung changed Jeongin’s name to Innie
Jisung changed Seungmin’s name to Menace
Jinnie: What is this?
Innie: What is with the name?
Menace: Why am I here?
Hannie: Welcome to horny corner 😌
Innie: I hate it here already
Hannie: Yang Jeongin
Hannie: Look
Hannie: You and I both know you are just as thirsty for a certain tiny freckled blond
Hannie: I am just giving us a safe space away from the hyungs to discuss our mutual admiration.
Menace: You created a chat to discuss defiling Lix. How utterly classy of you, Sung
Hannie: I didn’t include him
Hannie: So really, if you think about it, I AM being respectful
Innie: Respectful, possibly. But clearly with no sense of self-preservation, since you included Jinnie-hyung
Jinnie: What’s that supposed to mean?
Menace: That you look like you are plotting murder every time someone so much as breathes Lix’s way
Hannie: I included Jinnie because it’s better he is here from the start than find out about this chat later
Hannie: I am already risking my life if Minho-hyung finds out
Innie: Fair
Menace: Fair
Jinnie: I am not that bad!
Hannie: My arms still have goosebumps from when you glared at me while I was innocently cuddling my twin backstage last week
Hannie: Agree to disagree on that one, Jinnie
Jinnie: …moving on
Jinnie: What exactly are you planning to discuss here that makes you scared of Minho-hyung finding it?
Hannie: how much kissing Lix has given me a need to have him pinned under me again
Innie: Same
Jinnie: AGAIN?
Menace: I don’t know where you are, Sung, but you better pray Jinnie doesn’t find you
Hannie: Innie literally just said “Same”, why am I his only victim?
Innie: Because I could take him 😏
Hannie: Hot
Hannie: But also unfair
Jinnie: OKAY NOW HOLD UP BABY BREAD
~ I’m(mature) -
Chan: Why did the group chat get so quiet all of a sudden
Chan: Not that I’m complaining
Chan: but it’s weird
Chan: Like when toddlers are too quiet because they’re getting into trouble
Minho: The 00 line and Innie are discussing defiling my kitten in a separate chat
Chan: WHAT?
Changbin: How do you even know that?
Minho: Jisung is in bed next to me and thinks I can’t see his screen
Chan: And you are not stopping him?
Minho: No
Changbin: I was sure you’d be the first to stop any talk of sex with Yongbok. You surprise me everyday, hyung
Minho: Good
Chan: Why are we not stopping this?
Minho: Because I’d rather they discuss it with each other than with other people
Minho: And I know Sung’s passcode, so it’s easy enough to monitor
Chan: Devious
Changbin: Sometimes you surprise me
Changbin: And sometimes you scare me, hyung
Minho: Good
Minho: I try
Chan: So wait, we really aren’t gonna do anything about this?
Minho: Hyung
Minho: We just talked about this
Minho: We wait until the moment they least expect it, or they start to cause actual trouble
Minho: Whichever is funnier
Changbin: You really are a helicopter dad, aren’t you, Channie-hyung?
Chan: That is
Chan: …not relevant to this conversation
Minho: Sure it isn’t, hyung