Chapter Text
It was supposed to be an easy week. Revisiting the Hotel to check on that side do things, that’s all. He followed all the steps. Well, he tried.
The only part that didn’t go wrong was reaching the required speed to break through realities.
It was supposed to be simple, and at first, it was. Sir Pentious could not describe the force that sent him off course, and Elohim could not have seen it coming.
He smashed through realities veering into what looked like hell, slamming into a figure and taking it with him before breaking through reality once more and retiring to heaven-at least that’s what he gleamed from the second he was there-hitting someone else and breaking a third time before finally hitting the ground. That stopped his momentum, sending the three of them sprawling. It was pure miracle nobody was harmed. Almost.
The last thing either of them expected, was for Sir pentious to still break through and end up… somewhere.
The first thing he noticed, before his surroundings, was the silence. And the emptiness. The inherent lack of warmth he’d grown so accustomed to. He tried humming the so familiar tune, and when nothing happened he started to panic.
Okay. I’m on my own. That’s fine. Probably.
He shook the panic from his hood and observed his surroundings.
First, the red colourings and environment told him he was in hell.
Second, the people he’d hit-Oh dear he’d taken them through with him! Does that have any adverse affects!? He wrung his arm, the was a dull pain in his wings, he must have bruised them.
It must have, considering they looked like… him.
Neither got up from where they lay.
He rushed to the white clothed angel first, who seemed to be physically fine but was currently having a panic attack.
Then, he turned his attention to the demonic looking one, who seemed to have gathered himself but sat on the floor reaching for his cane, which was taken with him.
They both had his face, but the one who had a cane sported legs instead of a tail. What the fuck?
They were in… a workshop. One that reminded him of his own greatly. The smithing table was manned by a fourth snake, clearly a demon. He was eyeing them suspiciously and armed with a raygun.
They were all silent for a moment, save for the silent weeping of the other angelic snake.
It was the legged figure who broke the tension, “Well. That hurt.”
”I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened I veered off course and-“
”Who are you Three?!” The fourth cut him off, “If you know what’s good for you you’ll leave.” He demanded.
Penn didn’t know what to make of this. Four Sir Pentious, all wildly different. It took a bit of de-escalation and patronizing comments but the fourth of them managed to sit in a circle and get some things straight. Except for the weepy guy. He was delirious.
So all four of them were Sir Pentious, But clearly lived different lives. Apparently the one who put them in this situation was in good with the angels, he’s got wings and everything.
Supposedly by reaching enough of a velocity he can break into another world and that’s how he would normally travel between his heaven and hell.
Theoretically, that could be replicated? Unfortunately, the fellows wings were injured in the accident. Fortunately, there were four of the smartest people across heaven and hell in the same room.
He leaned on his cane and jabbed a finger towards the demonic Sir Pentious, “If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a car. A fast one.”
Understanding him, the snake demon quietly rose and stalked away. Yes, stalked away. The demon was the spitting image of Penn right before first finding the hotel. So, he was probably a loser.
When he returned, it was in a vehicle Penn remembered, designing, building, and eventually losing.
He hobbled over and ran his fingers over the hood, “How I missed you. I call shotgun!”.
He slid into the passenger seat while the angel who got them here helped the crybaby angel over. The crybaby had switched forms trading his tail for legs as well.
He felt panic rise in his throat as he realized he’d have to close the door and seal himself in the metal coffin. He pushed it back and rolled down the window.
it helped a little.
the angel with legs however, was inconsolable. None of them could get him into the back seat with the other angel without much effort, and when they did he curled up into the angels arms, sobbing.
Now they were in yet another uncomfortable silence, a silence Penn knew he needed to break, “We should come up with names. To differentiate ourselves.”
The angel with legs apparently doesn’t know the name “Sir Pentious.” Or have any recollection of visiting the hotel or something, so he must have gotten into heaven from the get go or something. He was similarly claustrophobic to Penn, which rang alarms but he didn’t ask. They ultimately decided to call him Buddy. And by “They” He means himself when trying to console him.
The demon in the drivers seat was easy to name, they called him Sinner because he was the only demon amongst them.
They called the one with busted wings, Wings. Because he used his wings and fucked everything up.
They all just had to ask about the cane and the legs and all of it, so instead of asking he decided they would call him Cane.
Actually, it was Cane who picked all the names. These guys were pretty boring. Buddy was busy having a claustrophobic episode, Wings was freaked out over something else, and Sinner was just like Cane once was: a boring asshole instead of a fun one. Ultimately this mean small talk sucked.
The plan was simple. Drive really fast until they broke through reality and maybe landed in the right place.