Chapter Text
Three weeks ago
Lucifer sat in a stiff chair next to Chloe’s bed, watching her sleep. She’d drifted off a little while ago, and he’d cajoled the nurses into letting him in, promising he wouldn’t disturb her.
He’d almost lost her. Her life had come so very close to being taken away from her, and even when he’d had the formula, he’d nearly cost her that life anyway by getting swept up in his guilt. He was beyond grateful for every breath she took now, each little unconscious movement she made in her sleep a gift.
His chest still burned a little, but it had nothing on how he felt inside. Physically stopping his heart was barely a footnote in all the pain he’d endured since he’d seen that photograph last night. All the pain he was still feeling.
The terror of thinking Chloe would die was fading now that they knew she’d be okay, leaving a mix of other emotions, most he couldn’t name and didn’t care to try. The only other one he knew was dread—dread for what would happen next, because things would change now. He had to draw a line between them that he’d never be able to cross again.
But for now he just looked at her, pale and wan, the color only just starting to return to her face. Sleeping peacefully. So beautiful it made his chest ache all the more.
It didn’t seem possible that she could have been made for him, that she only existed to hurt him, but it was the truth. Everything he’d thought he’d had was a lie.
And she could never know. It would only hurt her to find out she was a manipulation, and it would mean proving that he was the devil. She didn’t want to believe it, and he couldn’t bear to see her afraid of him now.
How was he supposed to go on like this? It hurt. So much, it hurt. He had half a mind to go steal whatever drugs he could find here so that he could numb the pain while he was still around Chloe, for even a short while.
But that would mean getting up, and he didn’t want to do that. He needed to see her open her eyes, to make sure for himself that she was okay.
And then…
And then.
The realization slowly dawned on him that there was only one thing he could do. He could never tell Chloe the truth, and without it, she’d never understand why they couldn’t be around each other anymore. She’d try to talk him into it, and he couldn’t allow that.
He refused to be a pawn in his parents’ machinations any longer. Staying here would only hurt them both.
So he had to leave.
Where, he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. He’d go home and take some clothes and drive.
It was the right thing to do.
But he looked at Chloe and thought of how he might never see her again even after she’d escaped death today, and that hurt, too.
He could deal with it. He could take on that hurt if it meant doing the right thing. His heart was already torn to shreds. What was a little more pain on top of that?
Chloe shifted, just a little, her eyes moving behind her lids. He straightened, holding his breath, wondering if this was the time she’d awaken.
It was. She turned her head to see him there and smiled when he welcomed her back, and for a single moment, all Lucifer could think was how relieved he was to see that smile. When she touched his hand, he couldn’t stop himself from pushing her away.
Just this one last time, he would allow it.
It didn’t last long. She wanted to talk to him, wanted to be with him the way they never could now.
It was unbearable. He left, holding on to that smile even as it cut him deep.
He’d never see her smile at him like that again.
Present day
Three weeks. Longer.
It’d been just over three weeks ago that Lucifer had walked out of her life as suddenly as he’d walked into it, and she hadn’t had a clue that that was the last time she’d see him. The opposite, actually. She’d been so sure she’d be seeing him more than ever.
Over three weeks of silence, of wondering where he was and if he was okay, of thinking that she’d been the one to screw things up between them.
No more. Guilt had turned to hurt had turned to worry had turned to even worse hurt, and then a wave of anger had washed it all away until there was nothing else left. That was what she told herself, anyway.
Because Chloe hadn’t meant to push him too far, but Lucifer had absolutely meant to ghost her like that. A couple of days of panic she could understand, maybe, but after so long, it became a deliberate choice. And it would just be stupid of her to be hurt over it anymore. Over him. It wasn’t worth being hurt over someone who would do that to her.
But it wasn’t just some random person ghosting her, it was Lucifer. And that made it a hundred times worse.
So she’d shoved all her hurt feelings down deep and leaned into the anger instead. After everything they’d been through together, after she’d almost died and he’d managed to save her life against all odds, he’d just left without a word. She’d needed him and he was nowhere to be found. He’d let her think he was ready for something more between them and didn’t even have the balls to tell her no thanks, changed my mind. She’d called him a hundred times telling him she was worried about him after she’d been the one on death’s door, and he didn’t have the decency to tell her he was all right.
Who did that?
So much for being partners.
Chloe sat at her desk in the precinct, filling out an arrest report for her first case after coming back from leave. Jaw clenched, fingers hitting the keys more sharply than the situation called for. The keyboard hadn’t done anything to her. The case was nothing special, either. The killer had confessed almost immediately, a guilty conscious getting the better of him.
It was her absent partner—ex-partner—who was making her fume once again.
Lucifer wouldn’t have even been needed, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t supposed to be solving cases alone anymore. And it wasn’t like this case was complex enough to hold her attention, so she kept thinking yet again about how much he’d screwed her over.
At what point, exactly, had he decided to leave? After a few days of sitting around Lux realizing a relationship wasn’t what he wanted? As he’d been walking out of the hospital, thinking that she was too demanding and he couldn’t deal with it? Before then, even?
She thought of him sitting by her hospital bed, waiting for her to wake up, already knowing that he wanted out. He’d dodged her request to talk, after all. Chloe had gone through that last conversation a thousand times in her mind, analyzing everything they’d said. After a while she’d realized he’d never actually told her they would talk later—he’d only told her to focus on herself, letting her think he was agreeing without ever saying the words.
Exactly the way he acted when he was trying to get around lying. And that made her think that he’d been deliberating avoiding making a promise to talk.
Her stomach twisted at the thought, that he’d already been done with her at that point. Not for the first time, she felt like such a fool. There she’d been, hopeful and relieved and overwhelmed by a lot of different emotions after finding out she’d survive after all. And there Lucifer had been, on an entirely different page, just waiting for her to wake up so he could…
She didn’t even know. Why bother waiting at all? Some sort of goodbye for himself?
Or maybe he had been going to tell her he didn’t want anything more, and then lost his nerve.
It only made her angrier.
Worse yet, though, was the idea that he’d been planning to leave even before then. That their moment after rescuing those kids had been what scared him off, and that whatever he’d been worked up about when he’d burst into her bedroom that night had something to do with it. That he’d only stayed to deal with her being poisoned first. An inconvenience, another chain dragging him down, something he had to take care of before he could ditch her.
Somehow it hurt so much more to think that was the case, so she tried her best not to think about it. It usually only surfaced in the darkest hours of the night, when she was too tired to keep her mind from drifting there.
Was the thought of being in a relationship with her really that bad? Not wanting one at all, she could understand. He’d never been the type and she knew that. So it only made sense that despite the way they kept dancing around each other, he didn’t want one with her either. She could have handled that.
But apparently those feelings were so repulsive to him that he’d fled rather than move on and go back to being partners like normal. He hadn’t just decided he didn’t want a relationship; he hadn’t just not texted her back. He’d wanted to get so far away from her that he’d cut off all ties, ended their partnership, left even Lux for God knew where. People didn’t put sheets on their furniture if they were only planning to travel for a couple weeks.
They did it when they were going to be away for a long time.
If even just wanting to talk about possible feelings between them was enough for him to jump ship on his entire life in LA, then fine. It was probably a good thing he’d left, even. He’d shown her why it truly was a mistake to want anything to happen. Chloe hadn’t learned her lesson the first time, so he’d made sure it stuck. Maybe she’d even be grateful after a while.
But she sure as hell wasn’t grateful now.
She submitted the arrest report and was about to go beg to help on another case—any case—when her phone rang. Snatching it up, she managed to mostly keep the bite out of her voice as she said, “This is Detective Decker.”
“Detective Decker, this is Detective Jay Wong from the LVMPD. Vegas.”
Why was she getting a call from the Vegas police? None of her cases were tied to anything there. “How can I help you?”
“Lucifer Morningstar was reported missing two days ago. I’m told he’s your partner?”
Her fingers tightened around the phone. Vegas. Lucifer. Missing.
Adrenaline shot through her. She was on her feet before she knew it. Angry with him or not, she didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Maybe there was more to his continued silence than she thought.
He’d obviously gone to Vegas and gotten into some sort of trouble. She had no idea what was going on or why, but she knew it had to be serious, because Lucifer waltzed in and out of trouble the way some people took an evening stroll along the beach. He was entirely capable of handling himself when he needed to be. So to find out he was missing… “Yes,” she said, deciding not to mention their partnership was now in the past. “Who reported it?”
“His wife,” Jay said.
Chloe froze, rooted in place while the world turned upside down. His what?
And then everything started moving normally again as she came back to her senses. Obviously there was some sort of miscommunication going on. “I think I misheard you. It sounded like you said his wife reported it.”
“Yes, that’s correct. His spouse.”
Well, one of them had gotten it wrong, and apparently it wasn’t her. “I’m sorry, you must be mistaken. He’s not married.”
“It’s, ah… a new arrangement. He got married here less than a week ago.”
Chloe just stood there blankly for a moment. No. No way. He couldn’t seriously have ghosted her at the thought of being in a relationship only to go elope with someone in Vegas. “Are you sure? Like, absolutely, one hundred percent positive?”
“Yes,” Jay said, sounding resigned more than anything. “I pulled up the paperwork to confirm, since they don’t exactly have a history together.”
Better and better. Resolutely not asking, she said, “Okay, but just to be perfectly clear. We’re talking about the same Lucifer Morningstar, right? The one who was definitely my partner? Runs a nightclub in LA? Enjoys being the most infuriating person on the planet?”
“I, uh, I wouldn’t know about that last one, but yes. I’m sure. I take it you’re surprised to hear?”
“Yeah,” she said, any last delusion that there was a mistake going up in flames. “Yeah, you could say that.”
His wife.
What the fuck?
“And who is this lovely new wife of his?” she asked, clenching her jaw so tightly she was surprised she could get the words out.
“Her name is Candy Fletcher. I was calling to see if you know her or have any information that might help us find him?”
“No,” she said. “No, I don’t know her or anything else. I didn’t even know he went to Vegas. What happened?”
“We don’t know. According to Candy he went off on his own for a bit, and didn’t check in again that night. Or the next day. He’s not returning any calls—”
“Yeah, he’s good at that,” she muttered.
“—and we haven’t been able to find anyone who’s seen him at any of the places they’ve been frequenting.”
Chloe so didn’t want to think about what places they’d been frequenting, or anything else about what they’d been doing together. Any worry she’d had for Lucifer was gone again. Why did she keep putting herself through that?
“Don’t worry,” she told Jay. “You don’t know him, but I do. He likes to pull this disappearing act. And he loves nothing more than to indulge. It’s Vegas—he’s got it all at his fingertips. He’s probably just off on a bender somewhere with a dozen other women lined up for their turn.”
“That would be the best case scenario, but unfortunately I can’t assume anything,” Jay said wryly. “If he contacts you or if you learn anything, please let me know.”
“Sure thing,” she told him. Mentioning that there was no chance Lucifer would contact her anyway would only lead to more questions that she didn’t feel like answering.
She hung up the phone and planted her hands on the desk, taking a moment to close her eyes and process what’d just happened.
Lucifer was truly, truly unbelievable. He did all kinds of stupid, impulsive shit, but this? It would have been bad enough just leaving without a word. Refusing to answer even a single one of her texts was a dick move on top of that. But to go off and get married when they’d been…
Her fingers curled into fists as the hurt started to rise up again. She could feel it in her stomach, the tell-tale burn behind her eyes.
No. She wasn’t going to go through that right now. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it all back down again. This was just the last bit of confirmation she needed that she was better off without him.
She opened her eyes, staring at the floor beyond her desk. Cutting through the anger and hurt was a fresh round of worry, much as she wished it wouldn’t. What if something was wrong? What if he wasn’t just neck deep in some drug-fueled orgy somewhere?
Because Chloe had been right about what she’d said to Jay. She did know Lucifer, and something in her gut told her there was more to this latest disappearance than a lack of regard for anyone else. He sometimes stopped answering her, but never like this. Ignoring others wasn’t like him either.
He loved to be the center of attention, even if he didn’t want any from Chloe now. To be missing… he could still have gotten into trouble after pulling that stunt. Even if he hadn’t and it was just from him not caring about others or being too incapacitated to notice, that was a sign something was wrong right there. Acting out worse than usual, like when he’d been struggling so much a few months ago. A cry for help in the only way he knew how to make it.
She shouldn’t care. He’d made it perfectly clear what she was to him, and that he didn’t care about her enough to make sure she was doing okay.
But she couldn’t help it. They’d been partners, and unlike him, she couldn’t dismiss that so easily. She knew something was wrong now and couldn’t turn her back on it.
Fine. He’d saved her life, so she would return the favor and pull him out of whatever pit he’d sunk into. And then she would walk away on her own terms.
Gritting her teeth, she sat down again and started looking up whatever information she could find on Candy Fletcher.
“Hey, Chlo,” Dan said, coming up to her desk. “I wanted to see if—what are you looking at?”
Chloe tore her eyes away from the computer to glance over at him. Dan was looking at the screen, brows raised. Considering that there was a row of pictures featuring a lot of cleavage on it, that reaction only made sense. “Lucifer’s wife,” she said.
Dan’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?”
“His wife,” she repeated. “Candy.”
It was kind of validating to see someone else be shocked at that news too. “Since when was Lucifer married?”
“Since last week, when he ran off to Vegas and put a ring on the first person to smile at him. I’m assuming.”
“Wow,” Dan said, gaping at the screen. “I just… wow. That is something else.”
“I’m going to choose to believe you’re talking about Lucifer and not the boobs.”
He shook his head, looking away again. “Of course I am. Well, I mean, they’re also—” He caught himself and quickly said, “Never mind. How did you find out? Is he back?”
“Nope,” she said. “The opposite. I got a call twenty minutes ago. Candy reported him missing and the police still haven’t found him.”
“Wow,” Dan said again, running a hand over his cheek. “He really knows how to make a mess of things, doesn’t he?”
“Yep.” She scrolled up to the most recent photos on Candy’s social media, where she’d posted all about her fabulous new hubby. Pictures of a huge diamond ring, some showing her wearing a tiny veil and a tight red mini dress, and a dozen shots of her and Lucifer together. Seeing them had made it feel real for the first time, the truth to everything Jay had told her sinking in at last.
He looked happy. Put-together the way he usually was, suit immaculate, hair done up with only a slight disarray from being touched by Candy. She knew, because one of the photos was of her doing just that. It made it harder to think that the reason Lucifer was missing was because he was just constantly high or drunk, that he was a mess and that she’d find him at a strip club somewhere.
Seeing it only made her feel worse.
This wasn’t some drunken decision he’d made on a whim that he regretted the next day. He was happy about it. Enjoying life, celebrating getting married, choosing to be with someone he barely knew over her. Like Chloe was already a distant part of his past, hardly ever crossing his mind.
Every new picture she’d seen of them was like a punch to the gut.
“As far as I can tell, Candy is exactly the type of person you’d expect Lucifer to be hanging out with,” she said. “Her family owns a bar, and she works there as a singer. Probably does other things too. No record, no major trouble her family’s gotten into—from what I could find without digging into them too much, anyway—and as you can see, her socials are as airy as could be.”
That wasn’t entirely true—going further back, there were hints of realness in her posts, where it seemed like Candy actually had more than a handful of brain cells. But Chloe wasn’t feeling generous enough to give her any credit.
“If Lucifer is in some sort of trouble, I don’t think she’s involved,” Chloe went on.
Dan said, “Mhmm. I’m sure you spent all this time analyzing the photos because you think she was.”
Chloe ignored that. Twisting to more properly face him, she said, “Look, Dan…”
He sighed, reading her expression too easily. “You want to go after him, don’t you.”
“Yeah. I do. I don’t know what’s going on, but I think he’s in some sort of trouble. And as much as this pisses me off, I can’t just wait around for him to turn up dead in a ditch somewhere.”
He nodded. “I know.”
She’d expected a lot more argument from him. “That’s it? Not going to tell me I should leave that asshole to deal with it himself?”
His lips turned up in a small smile. “I can definitely call him an asshole if you want, but no, I’m not going to tell you not to go. It would only make you mad at me, too, and besides… I actually don’t want to see him dead, either.”
“Since when do you care?” she asked, trying to figure out what to do with that. She’d expected Dan of all people to be annoyed with Lucifer too, but she also didn’t want to hear him say he didn’t care if Lucifer was dead or alive.
“Since he helped me save your life. Look, this is…” Dan gestured to the screen, seemingly at a loss for words. “He’s a real piece of work, don’t get me wrong. But he’s earned a certain amount of goodwill, too. Limited time offer.”
“Yeah,” she said quietly, looking away. “That’s pretty much where I’m at right now.”
“I’ll take Trixie while you go find him,” he said. “You just wrapped up your case, right?”
“Thanks,” she said. “And yes. Here’s hoping the lieutenant doesn’t mind me taking more time off after I just got back from leave.”
“Good luck,” Dan said. Their latest lieutenant didn’t like him, not after the trouble he’d caused over Malcolm. He wasn’t that thrilled with Chloe either, as far as she could tell. But he didn’t make her life difficult. Mostly he just kept his distance, and that arrangement was fine with her.
She looked at the photos of Lucifer one more time before exiting out of it. Dan walked off, and she headed for the lieutenant’s office, wondering just what she’d find when she got to Vegas.
No matter what happened, one thing was clear: this trip would not be pleasant, and when she came back, she’d still be on her own.
Six days ago
Lucifer wandered into some place called Fletcher’s, having been recommended here by someone at the resort he was staying at. He’d never been there before, so he figured he might as well, on the off chance that he’d actually find something interesting for once.
He’d chosen Sin City for its distractions; surely, he’d thought, there was enough here to keep him occupied, between the drinks and pills and plethora of entertainment found nowhere else. There’d be no shortage of people happy to join him for a time and then follow him back to his suite. Or even to whatever dim corner they could find instead. He’d thought he’d embrace all of it, that he wouldn’t be picky. It didn’t matter who it was with, as long as he didn’t have to think about anything besides the bodies pressed against his own.
Except he’d gotten here and found that actually, it did matter. He’d approached plenty of people that first night, and even more had approached him, but every single time he’d ended up walking away in short order.
He looked at them and saw Chloe instead. They smiled at him, and all he could picture was the way she’d done just that the last time he’d seen her. His fingers found bare skin, and all he could feel was her quiet, steady warmth as she reached for him. He hadn’t even made it to a single kiss; even his body seemed to know their lips would feel wrong on his.
There was only one person he wanted to be with, and yet she was the one person he never could be with.
So he’d given it up, preferring to be alone instead. Or as alone as he could be while constantly surrounded by people. If sex wasn’t going to happen, then he’d just let everything else Vegas had to offer sweep him away.
It hadn’t worked.
He couldn’t get properly drunk, and everything felt so empty. Hollow. Meaningless. No one cared for him here; he was just another wallet to the businesses and another body to everyone else. And maybe once, he wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but now… he’d gotten a taste for what it was like to be seen and cared for and wanted, and it was like it’d ruined everything else.
Every part of him wanted so badly to go home, where he could have that again.
It was just another cruel facet of this game. The home he wanted desperately to return to didn’t actually exist and never had. It was nothing but a pretty, painted facade he’d fallen for. He’d never actually had someone who could and would truly care for him the way he’d thought Chloe did.
But his stupid, foolish heart still couldn’t tell the difference.
So now here he was, craving his own designer poison, when he knew perfectly well that it only existed to hurt him. He couldn’t go back, but he had no idea what he was supposed to do instead, either.
All he could do was keep moving from one place to the next, doing his best not to think about anything at all. It was a fake sort of numbness, but it was better than nothing.
He sat at the bar and snatched up the drink he hadn’t even needed to ask for, watching the stage as a singer worked through a set.
“Who is she?” the bartender asked. “Not the one singing, the reason you’re drinking.”
Lucifer sighed to himself. No matter what he did, he could never get away from it.
He answered. Watched the gorgeous singer move towards him, gave his usual lines like he actually cared, hoping that maybe this time he would.
Only to realize that she’d robbed him.
Well. At least she’d managed to give him something to occupy his mind tonight, even if it definitely wouldn’t be with sex.
He got up to find out just what the night had in store.
The following evening had Lucifer doing something he never, ever thought he would, as a ruse or otherwise.
Getting married.
“Are you sure about this?” Candy asked, not for the first time. They were at the Marriage License Bureau, waiting for the officiant to come in. She was wearing a red mini dress and had bought a cheap little veil off a street vendor on their way over, so they could take pictures and sell the bit. The more practice they had, the better. But for the moment she’d dropped the act. “I mean really, one hundred percent sure?”
No. No, he wasn’t. It’d seemed like a perfectly good idea last night—what better way was there to get what he wanted? This one little ceremony would let him disarm his mother and sever any obligation Chloe felt she had toward him. They’d both be one step closer to being free of all the manipulation his parents were so fond of.
But now that he was here, it suddenly seemed so hard to actually cut that thread. When he said the words I do, that would be it. He’d go through with the plan, and any hopes he’d once had for them would be well and truly dead.
They’re already dead, he told himself. It was never real and never will be.
It didn’t help. He still couldn’t feel the truth of the words. He still longed, so much, for what he couldn’t have.
“Are you sure?” he asked Candy, trying to force his mind away from Chloe. “Having second thoughts about marrying the devil? It’s not too late to say no.”
She shook her head, a small smile on her face. “Out of all the people I’d call the devil in this city, you don’t even make the list. You helped me out, so I’ll help you out. But you’re the one getting the worse end of the deal, so if you want me to do something else instead…”
“Such romantic sentiments for your soon-to-be spouse,” he said. “No. This is the way it has to be.”
The person designated as their witness was giving them an odd look as the officiant stepped into the room. “Ready?” she asked.
Lucifer had found her a few minutes before and handed off enough money to get the short version. “Yes,” he said.
“We’re gathered here today to witness the vows of marriage between Lucifer Morningstar and Candy Fletcher. Do you, Candy, take Lucifer to be your husband?”
Candy glanced up at him, brows raised. After a second she said, “I do.”
“And do you, Lucifer, take Candy to be your wife?”
He held Candy’s gaze, and for a single heartbeat, he had the bizarre wish that Chloe would take her place.
But she wasn’t here. Candy was.
Just say it.
He’d never get what he truly wanted. And it was time he accepted that.
“I do.”