Chapter Text
Neither Pomni nor Jax spoke to each other as they entered the entrance of the theatre. The tension in the air between them was thick as they walked side by side, keeping a distance from each other. Pomni had bumped into Ragatha and left, leaving Jax alone. Jax stopped his tracks and watched them walk away, forcing away the heavy guilt that sat in his chest.
It was for the best. He told himself, forcing a smile back to his face as he entered the theatre. His left hand trembled slightly. You’re being ridiculous.
It was no surprise to him when Pomni and Ragatha left an empty seat open for him in the theatre.
Still trying to care? He scoffed as he thought, rolling his eyes. The scoff felt unreal though. What a stupid woman.
Jax looked around to find an empty seat far away from Pomni and Ragatha and the rest of the cast. His all so egoistic and happy look faltered the moment he sat down. A frown spread across his face as he leaned into his left hand. Drowning in his thoughts, he barely registered Caine starting the favourite character award ceremony.
“You’re not the funny one!” Pomni had yelled angrily at him just now. God, it was entertaining to see her shout at him. It was even funnier when she attacked him. His frown deepened further, betraying his oh, all so happy thoughts. I’m glad I pushed her away. SHE should be the one that’s glad. His thoughts then trailed to the people who had abstracted in the circus. Kaufmo… Ribbi-
He felt his heart stop at the thought of the green frog. Unwanted memories flooded through his digital brain, overloading his aching heart if he had one.
“Whoopsies Jax!” They chuckled, and Jax could imagine Ribbit nudging him. “Remember what happened to me? If Pomni abstracts tomorrow EVERYONE’S going to blame you! It’s going to be all your fault again…” Jax flinched as if someone had hit him. He subconsciously started to bounce a paw on the ground. Jax would never admit it, but he regretted every single sentence of what he said to Pomni in the argument. As he reflected on his actions, his paw bounced up and down faster as tears threatened to flow from his eyes.
That’s it. Jax couldn’t take it anymore.
He stood up and ran to the toilet. Turning on the tap at the sink, he tried to let the sound of running water lull him to calmness. God, he really hated being so weak. He hated that he cared about what happened. To him, he’s not supposed to care about anything. His breathing raced faster and faster until he started to hyperventilate, causing his lungs to burn and the surroundings to blur. His head spun as everything felt too loud for him. He let out a whimper, slumping against the sink.
“Ragatha, I’m… Going to the toilet.” Pomni informed Ragatha and did not wait for her response before she pelted through the theatre to get to the toilet. Unfortunately for Jax, the moment he stood up and ran to the toilet, Pomni had turned her head to check on him.
Pomni knew that he didn’t mean any of the words that he said just now. It was just a desperate attempt to push her away.
Pomni was a persistent woman after all.
The moment that she stepped into the toilet, Jax was curled up into a fetus position, back pressed against the wall and hiding his face in his knees. His breath was fast and he was trembling. Pomni, without thought, hurried to his side and gave him a firm hug from the side. To her surprise, Jax uncurled his body and leaned into her shoulder, letting a muffled cry escape his chest as he clawed at Pomni’s back harder.
“There there…” Pomni murmured, ruffling the fur in his back softly as he nuzzled into her neck, trembling in their embrace. It was when Pomni spoke that Jax stiffened. Immediately, he pushed her away and glared at her.
“What the F$#! are you doing?” Jax practically snarled at Pomni. Her pupils seemed to shrink under his angry gaze. “What part of stop looking out for me do you NOT understand? Did you forget about what happened just now?”
He paused, then added with an eyeroll. “Are you here to fix me?”
“How could I forget?” Her voice was laced with pain, but it was firm. “You can show your human emotions like just now, there’s really no weakness or wrong in doing so… Trust me Jax, you’d feel better.”
“Why do you even care!” Jax raised his voice at her, holding back the urge to jump at her and punch her repeatedly. “How do you know what’s good for me or not?”
“I care for you because I can! I know that there’s human emotions behind that smile you always put up around the others. I know there is!”
There was an uncomfortable pause. It held on longer until Jax responded.
“You should really stop caring about some insensitive jerk like me.” He muttered, hating the way his voice quivered, tearing his gaze away from her.
When Pomni didn't respond, Jax stood up and stormed out of the toilet. Wow, what an amazing day. First, I pushed away someone that actually gave a damn about me again and now she sees me looking pathetic and weak… Pure rage seethed under his fur then guilt at what he had just done. It’s for the best. He reassured himself, although that for once, he didn’t believe himself.
He fucked up.
Massively.
Again.