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Adachi felt sunlight hitting his eyes, so he moved a bit. He pressed his head to the pillow to block the sunlight. He inhaled deeply, and Kurosawa’s smell filled his senses. Adachi smiled involuntarily. Kurosawa always smelled so good. It was never too extreme or too overpowering. He simply smelled clean and intoxicating. Adachi was both very surprised and slightly annoyed when he realized that this situation had nothing to do with the perfume he used. Kurosawa’s smell was just perfect. Just like every single thing about him.
Adachi rolled over to hold his boyfriend. After thinking about him, he wanted to bury his head in Kurosawa’s neck and completely drown in his smell. However, when he reached out, his arm met with empty sheets. Adachi groaned.
His boyfriend was not a morning person, which completely shocked Adachi. However, this didn’t stop him from getting up earlier than Adachi to prepare a breakfast for him when Adachi stayed over. Adachi knew how much Kurosawa liked spending lazy mornings with him in bed too, so he asked him not to do anything. Just lie with him. Kurosawa pouted, saying that he genuinely was unable to sleep too much when he knew Adachi was by his side. It caused Adachi to feel rather confused since he, on the other hand, was sleeping much, much more peacefully when Kurosawa was by his side. Upon hearing this, Kurosawa apologized in a hasty manner and explained how he slept extremely soundly when Adachi was by his side. The only thing was that he did wake up early. And he liked cooking too. So it was natural for him to start preparing their breakfast. Adachi still protested and told him to stay with him in bed, just to lie down and hug him. Kurosawa made a strangled noise when Adachi told him what he wanted. Then hugged him extremely tightly, and Adachi rolled his eyes affectionately as he hugged his dramatic boyfriend.
Adachi wanted to pull Kurosawa to bed without moving himself away from it. He really just wanted to cuddle with his boyfriend in bed. He groaned once more. He really didn’t want to move, but the smell that was coming from the kitchen was kind of tempting.
He still waited a few more minutes before getting up. He listened to the soft sound that came from the kitchen: Kurosawa’s very soft footsteps, the gentle sizzling of something on the stove, and the sound of pans and plates moving. Adachi couldn’t help but smile widely. He was in bed, and his boyfriend was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. His boyfriend. Kurosawa…
Adachi moved in the bed; he needed to see his boyfriend. He needed to hug him tightly and see his soft smile. He tried to get up quickly, and it ended up causing him to wince. For a second, Adachi felt rather confused about why he was hurting, but then the last night slowly came back to him.
He all of a sudden felt his face burning. Of course he was sore. He quickly rubbed his face. Thankfully it wasn’t an overwhelming pain; it was just soreness of muscles that he wasn’t used to being sore. He slipped to the bathroom before going to Kurosawa. No matter how many times Kurosawa told him that he didn’t give a damn about his morning breath and he just wanted to kiss him, Adachi felt so dirty when he didn’t brush his teeth. It was only alright if Kurosawa didn’t brush his teeth too.
He got out of the bathroom; he was still sleepy. He moved to the kitchen. Before going to Kurosawa and snaking his arms around his waist, he stopped at the door. He admired the sight before him.
Kurosawa was moving in the kitchen swiftly; his hair was disheveled, his shirt was not fitting, but Adachi could see the muscles moving through it when he bent down to get something from the lower cabinet, and his apron was tied around his waist, showing how defined his body actually was. The apron was either the one that said “kiss the cook” or the one that said “best chef in town,” and Adachi smiled at how Kurosawa used them every time he did something in the kitchen. Those were Adachi’s gifts for him. The writings on them were both so sappy and stupid that the moment Adachi laid eyes on them, he thought they needed to be Kurosawa’s. Kurosawa was over the moon with the gifts. He kissed Adachi again and again. Adachi was suspecting that he wore “kiss the cook” just to make Adachi kiss him. And his suspicions were confirmed when he did kiss him.
I will never take this apron off!
Adachi smiled at the memory. Oh, he loved that man so much. He was so sappy and dramatic and sweet and perfect. He watched Kurosawa setting the pan in the oven with utmost care, so as not to make noise. Adachi felt his heart swelling with affection.
“ You promised not to get up from the bed before me,” Adachi mumbled at last. He would have liked to watch Kurosawa a bit more, but he couldn’t stand being away him anymore.
Kurosawa almost flinched upon hearing his voice. Adachi apologized quickly. Kurosawa offered him the warmest of smiles. Adachi almost melted at the sight. He was wearing the “kiss the cook” one.
“ I was in the bed with you for hours, sleepyhead. Do you know what time it is?” Kurosawa asked him with a playful smile. Adachi turned a bit right to look at the clock on the wall. It showed 1 PM. Adachi’s mouth formed an “o” shape. He really overdid it today.
“ I retreat. I had no idea I slept that long. Why didn’t you wake me up!” Adachi looked at Kurosawa, who was looking at him with nothing but adoration.
“ I thought you needed to rest after last night… Adachi, how are you by the way? Are you alright? Are you hurt?” it was so lovely to see blushing Kurosawa. It was a rare sight, and Adachi adored it. And of course he was being considerate as ever. He wanted to reach to him, so he moved away from the door.
“ No, I am fine. Just a bit sore, but I’d think it is normal,” he mumbled; he was blushing too. Kurosawa nodded as he smiled at him. Adachi moved to kiss Kurosawa. Kurosawa happily obliged at his request by removing the obstacle in their way. He put the pan on the stove and pulled Adachi to himself.
Adachi pushed his lips to Kurosawa’s soft ones. Kurosawa tilted his head to the right as he deepened the kiss. Adachi wrapped his arms around Kurosawa’s neck. Kurosawa hummed to Adachi’s mouth. Adachi smiled through the kiss, but he felt something wasn’t there. As if a limb were missing. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of Kurosawa. He couldn’t figure out what it was as he pulled Kurosawa harder to himself. Kurosawa gasped as he grabbed Adachi’s waist to balance himself. However the weird emptiness was still there. So Adachi tried to pull him to himself even more, but it didn't work since they were already impossibly close. Kurosawa clutched Adachi's shirt to keep his balance. It was harsher than his previous attempt to not fall and it was totally Adachi's fault with how hard he was trying to pull him. Adachi stepped back. What was wrong?
“ Is everything alright?” Kurosawa asked, he was panting. Adachi frowned. No, something was wrong, but he couldn’t understand what that was. It was by no means a new feeling for Adachi to feel like he couldn’t get enough of Kurosawa; however, this was different. He would normally feel so much more surrounded by Kurosawa, but he couldn’t feel that right now. It was not something physical; it was more like psychological-
OH!
“ Adachi?” Kurosawa’s voice was worried, but nothing was in Adachi’s mind. There was no stream of “Is Adachi alright? I hope he is fine. How can I help him?”. Adachi put his hands on Kurosawa’s cheek and grabbed his face, then he moved to his shoulders and arms. And he was just met with silence. The only noises were Adachi and Kurosawa’s breathing.
“ Adachi, darling, what is it?” Adachi could see how Kurosawa was holding himself back from reacting in a more panicked way. He could see it, but he couldn’t hear it. Adachi pulled back from him completely.
It wasn’t like they didn’t discuss this before, especially last night. Kurosawa asked him again and again and again. Reassured him thousands of times that they didn’t have to do anything. He didn’t like the idea of being the one who will take the “magic” away from Adachi.
Adachi was so done with this “magic,” if he was being honest. Moreover, Adachi thought it was not correct to say that it was “magic”; he would preferred “curse.” He hated how he couldn’t go to crowded spaces without feeling like drowning, and he despised how he eavesdropped on his colleagues’ secrets. Adachi assured Kurosawa again and again and again that it was what he wanted. He wanted Kurosawa. It was as simple as that.
Adachi was worried when he lost his magic; he would have a hard time understanding Kurosawa, or he wouldn’t be a good partner anymore. But Kurosawa was quick to tell him how nothing mattered to him. With magic, without magic, Adachi was Adachi. And they will find their way. Just like how they learned to live with the magic, they will learn to live without it. They would have to talk much more, but it was nothing big; it was what everyone else did. Kurosawa said that everything will be alright, and Adachi believed him.
“ It’s gone,” Adachi said, his voice coming out so small.
But now Adachi realized how he didn’t think enough about how he won’t be able to hear Kurosawa’s thoughts again. Well… he knew he wouldn’t be able to hear Kurosawa’s thoughts, but he always thought about this from the “this will be bad for our relationship” angle; he never thought about the “I won’t hear my boyfriend’s sweet, lovely, messy stream of consciousness” angle.
And now that he did, he almost couldn’t breathe. He wanted to hear Kurosawa’s thoughts; he wanted to feel whatever he was feeling right now! He never thought about how much he came to love listening to Kurosawa’s grocery lists, the songs that were in his head that day, his practices before an important meeting, and his embarrassing but sweet fantasies about doing mundane things with Adachi. Adachi almost felt as if he was going to drown. All of them were gone like that!
“ What is it, baby? What’s gone?” Kurosawa turned off the stove as he led Adachi to the couch. Adachi hopelessly moved his hand on top of Kurosawa’s. Nope, it was silent. Adachi felt his eyes filling with tears.
“ Talk to me, baby.” Kurosawa was gentle as always. He was trying to keep his emotions in check as always. However, this time Adachi couldn’t feel the actual storm of his emotions by touching him.
“ The magic is gone,” he mumbled weakly. His eyes were fixated on Kurosawa’s hand on his arm. It would normally cause the emotions, words, and visuals to spill into his mind; now there was nothing other than the warmth of Kurosawa’s palm.
“ Ah- I… Adachi… I am- I am so sorry… It is totally normal that you are regretting it… I am- God- I am terribly sorry… It’s all my fault,” the words were so coated in pain that Adachi’s heart tightened. He quickly snapped his head to look at Kurosawa. He looked devastated. It caused Adachi to tear up even more because if the magic was still there, he would have understood it before looking up.
Adachi shoved that thought in the back of his head; he needed to fix the misunderstanding.
“ What are you talking about! Of course I don’t regret it! It was one of the best nights of my life, and I don’t even want the magic,” he said with urgency. He couldn’t live with himself if he caused Kurosawa to think that he regretted being with him. Everything… every minute, every second with Kurosawa was a blessing for Adachi, nothing more or less.
“ But… You are sad about it? I don’t understand. You don’t want the magic then… what do you want?” Kurosawa looked at him very helplessly. Adachi felt a tear slipping from his right eye.
“ I… I want you,” he managed. Adachi wanted Kurosawa’s thoughts. He really was about to sob when he thought about how Kurosawa messed with him at the office by sending him various flirtatious words and visuals, or how when they cuddled Adachi would be wrapped up with peace and love that was radiation from Kurosawa, or how Kurosawa made Adachi laugh in public by reciting the stupidest jokes he heard from Rokkaku just with a touch of their hand. All of it was gone now. Another tear fell down from his cheek.
Kurosawa wiped the tear gently; he was looking at Adachi with so much worry and tenderness that it caused Adachi to sob. Kurosawa immediately wrapped his arms around Adachi.
“ I am yours, darling. You have me, you know that. I am all yours,” he gently rubbed Adachi’s back. Another sob escaped his lips. He wanted to hear his thoughts! Just yesterday he had access to all of Kurosawa. His deepest secrets, his soft daydreams, his silly jokes… And today it was all gone.
Adachi didn’t want that twisted magic back, but he wanted to hear Kurosawa’s thoughts again. Just him.
How on earth had he never thought of this before? How on earth didn’t he try to make the most of it by touching him all the time? How could he never realize how lucky and privileged he was! He grabbed Kurosawa even tighter.
He knew it was an extremely stupid way of thinking, but Kurosawa’s thoughts were something that only Adachi could access. No one other than him had seen or heard Kurosawa’s thoughts. Adachi knew Kurosawa as a whole. There wasn’t a part Adachi didn’t know. And now, there was going to be. And it caused Adachi to feel extremely jealous. He knew it was insane, but he wanted more. He wanted to know more.
“ I- I will miss you,” Adachi didn’t want to leave Kurosawa in silence for so long, but his mind was too scrambled to tell him what he was feeling properly. Besides he already missed it. It was wrong to use future tense. “I miss you,” he said but once again it ended up sounding confusing. Kurosawa placed a few kisses on Adachi’s hair.
“ I am right here,” he whispered gently. No, Adachi wanted to scream at him, not the way I want you to be here. He wanted to get his hands on everything about Kurosawa. This feeling was so possessive and primitive, but he couldn’t help himself.
“ It’s… I miss your thoughts,” he realized it made more sense this time. Kurosawa’s hands stopped for a second.
“ That’s it?” his voice came out so surprised. Adachi wanted to continue crying, but it was not fair to Kurosawa. He could go back to crying after he explained why he was losing his mind. Adachi pushed himself a bit away from him, not enough to stop the contact, just enough so he could look at Kurosawa. He nodded then.
Kurosawa gently grabbed Adachi’s face with one hand. He was looking at him with so much love. Yesterday, Adachi could feel it! He could literally feel the adoration. Today, he was seeing it in Kurosawa’s eyes.
“ Darling, can you explain to me why you are sad? In a bit more detail? I am a bit lost.” Adachi, amidst all the heaviness in his chest, felt a deep love for Kurosawa. He marvelled at the man. How could someone be so patient, gentle, and dear?!
“ I…” Adachi took a deep breath; he had to explain himself thoroughly in order to prevent Kurosawa from blaming himself in any way. “ I hated the so-called magic… It was such torture. The crowds became even worse; I kept hearing people’s secrets, and I had to listen to very disturbing things from people all the time. It is… terrible. I was only- well… we talked about this yesterday… The only part I was worried about was if I stopped hearing your thoughts, maybe I would be a worse boyfriend… But I didn’t think about just… listening to you. I didn’t think about how much I love to be by your side and listen to your stream of consciousness. The jumbled words about what you are planning to do after, soft daydreams about where we can go for the holiday, sappy poems you wrote on public transportation, the way your mind goes from one thing to another with lightning speed… Kurosawa- They are gone now! And… And I know it was extremely terrible for you. To have someone hearing all of your thoughts all the time but- I… I want it back. I never realized how deeply I love them. They… they came as a package deal with you… I never thought that I would have to be parted from them… And I know it is so very selfish- but… I want them back,” he tried really hard to collect his thoughts. After his last sentence another sob broke free from him.
Kurosawa wiped Adachi’s tears away. Adachi knew no matter what he would say, Kurosawa was still going to feel bad, but he thought he did a decent job. And that’s why Adachi felt surprised when he saw tears in Kurosawa’s eyes as well. He felt like someone was choking him. Oh, you made him cry, he yelled at himself mentally, you made Kurosawa cry!
“ Please don’t cry!” Adachi quickly moved his hands to Kurosawa’s eyes to wipe the tears away. Kurosawa held Adachi’s hands and brought them to his lips. There was a small smile on his lips as his eyes still shone with tears.
There were moments where Adachi thought he couldn’t get more beautiful than this, because it really looked like there was no way. But then Kurosawa managed to prove Adachi wrong. He was pretty sure there was going to be a time when Adachi once again would think this exact same thing, but still. Adachi looked at Kurosawa, who was pressing gentle kisses to Adachi’s hands, a tear left his left eye, but he had a small smile on his lips. Adachi couldn’t help but think He can’t get more beautiful than this; there is no way.
“ Don’t cry,” Adachi found his voice once again. He pulled his hand away from Kurosawa to wipe his tear. After he wiped it, Kurosawa kept Adachi’s place where it was. He kissed Adachi’s palm. Kurosawa looked at him with a soft smile.
“ That’s it? Is that why you were sad?” Kurosawa’s voice was just as soft as his kisses he left on Adachi’s hands. Adachi nodded. Kurosawa gave him a wet chuckle.
“ Kiyoshi, this is… such a solvable problem. I’ll just tell you everything I am thinking from now on. I promise I’ll talk so much that you’ll have to beg me to stop!” his last sentence was so enthusiastic that Adachi, felt his lips curling upwards involuntarily. It wasn’t going to be the same with reading his thoughts; it was not possible. But when Kurosawa seemed so sure of himself…
“ Yeah?” Adachi said. His smile widened more as Kurosawa nodded at him with excitement. He couldn’t stop sharing Kurosawa’s happiness.
“ Okay, start now,” Adachi moved to put his head to Kurosawa’s shoulder.
“ Oh… Alright. Like right now?” Kurosawa asked, his voice unsure. Adachi smiled earnestly, on to his shoulder. Kurosawa was so adorable. Oh, he loved him so much.
“ Yeah, right now,” Adachi answered him as he pressed a chaste kiss on his collarbone through his shirt.
“ Well… I am very glad that I made you smile just now. But… what I am about to say will be terribly selfish. Do you still want to hear it?” he waited for Adachi to answer.
“ Of course! I want to hear everything!” especially things when people don’t say them out loud, Adachi added in his mind. Because that was the important part. That was what set him apart from everyone else.
“ Alright… I- You made me very happy. I do not mean you crying; that was so, so, so painful to look at. It genuinely felt as if someone punched the air out of my lungs, but… I am and was always so anxious about what I can’t control. My behaviour, my words, over them I have a power. I can control them. However, the thoughts… They are such messy things. No matter how hard I tried, I could not control them. You… well, you probably already knew that…” Kurosawa stopped, as if waiting for an answer from Adachi.
“ Yes, Yuichi, I knew that,” Adachi did see how hard Kurosawa was trying to control his thoughts when he first learned about Adachi’s power. However, just like Kurosawa said, it was impossible.
“ I- Okay… I said everything- I love when you call me by my first name. Every single time I feel like I am dreaming. It suits your voice so well. I swear I didn’t think about my name before you, but now whenever you say it, I think about how nice a name it is- of course it cannot compete with Kiyoshi. And god- I love your name. It is just… As if it is crafted perfectly just for you! Your family did such a good job naming you… Oh- what was I saying? Hm! Because I cannot control my thoughts… whenever I think about your ability, I feel a bit self-conscious. I was always worried one day you would hear or see something and you would decide that you… you had enough with me or something like that- and I knew deep down it was irrational. You wouldn’t break up with me over a thought, but still… And I have to confess lately I was much less stressed about the topic, but it wasn’t like it never crossed my mind, so… now hearing you say that you miss my thoughts… is- I don’t know how to put that into words. It’s like… you saw my most unfiltered version, and you still stayed by my side… And now you are telling me you will miss hearing unhinged things… God- I am not sure what I did in my previous life, but I must have been a saint to get to have you in this one. I love you! I adore you! And… You know, sometimes the love I feel for you gets so intense that I feel like my chest is going to burst! Do you feel that? Or does it just happen to me? And you look adorable right now. I love it when you are in my arms. It makes me feel so very happy—hmph!
Adachi kissed Kurosawa with everything he had. He… he was just… perfect. God! Adachi totally understood what he meant about feeling as if his chest was going to burst. He felt that way almost every time they kissed or touched each other. Sometimes it was enough for Adachi to feel like he was going to combust by simply looking at Kurosawa. He totally understood the man.
“ I love you,” Kurosawa said between the kisses. Adachi smiled at his words, but Kurosawa kept mumbling the words again and again to him. Then he added how beautiful Adachi looked, or how lovely he was, and how sweet the kisses were. Adachi tried to do the same thing as well.
And then it hit him. When they kissed, Adachi always would hear in his head “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, God—you are perfect, I love you, you taste amazing, I love you”. Kurosawa was trying to recreate their previous kisses.
Adachi felt like he was going to die, seriously die from the sheer love and adoration he felt towards Kurosawa. How could his heart stand this much emotion?? Adachi pulled Kurosawa towards himself even harder. No amount of closeness was enough for Adachi right now. His lips left Kurosawa’s as he started peppering Kurosawa’s face with small kisses. He kissed the man’s jawline, nose bridge, cheeks, and all of his freckles. Adachi kissed him on the mouth once more.
“ I adore you, and I didn’t ‘stay with you even after I heard your unhinged thoughts’; I fell in love with you because of them. I love you…god- I love you so much.” Adachi felt so many emotions he was scared that his body was going to collapse.
“ I love you more,” Kurosawa said gently, as he was softly moving his hands on Adachi’s waist. He grabbed Adachi’s hands and kissed them sweetly. Adachi scoffed at him.
“ All I’m hearing is lies,” he mumbled as he leaned in to kiss him once again. Kurosawa pulled back from him, with a raised eyebrow.
“ Oh yeah? I am seven years ahead of you, darling. Don’t forget who you are dancing with.” Kurosawa gave him a rather smug smile. Adachi kissed him again, partly to erase the grin from his face and partly because if he didn’t kiss him, he was going to explode.
“ Quantity doesn’t mean quality,” Adachi mumbled. Kurosawa gasped as he pulled back.
“ What does that mean?!” Kurosawa looked at him with puppy eyes. His words were playful. Adachi felt his heart tightening.
“ What are you thinking right now?” he asked, as he subconsciously moved his hands to Kurosawa’s shoulders.
“ I love you so much. And I love you the most—duh! And I want to kiss you so much, but at the same time I am kind of worried that I ruined our breakfast. I don’t remember ever turning off the stove while the ingredients were still cooking… I hope it wouldn’t spoil the taste or anything. Though I really don’t want to prepare something else. I really just want to eat our breakfast and then spend the rest of the day with you. I also need to put some water in the kettle. I was going to do that before you distracted me,” he absentmindedly looked back at the kitchen. Adachi took advantage of his exposed neck and left a few kisses.
The first moment Adachi’s lips touched Kurosawa’s neck, he yelped. It was so funny, but Kurosawa was rather ticklish. Adachi apologized as he moved to the part of his neck where it wasn’t ticklish.
“ Um… Do you want to… hear my thoughts still?” Kurosawa asked, his voice hoarse. Adachi felt something else stir in himself.
“ Yes,” he breathed. He would love nothing more. And yet he managed to control himself. “ Right after our breakfast, I would love to hear all of your R-rated commentary,” which caused Kurosawa to snort.
“ With pleasure!” Kurosawa said, beaming at Adachi. He looked as if he was expecting something. Adachi raised a brow at him. Kurosawa looked disappointed for a second.
“ You didn’t see what I did! ‘With pleasure,’ I said! You know- like we are going to do R-rated things, and I will let you know how much pleasure-
“ Okay! Got it! You make terrible puns,” Adachi said as he felt himself blush. Kurosawa rolled his eyes at him.
“ I do not! That was such a nice joke! You just couldn’t appreciate it. Think it through! It actually was funny,” and then he waited for Adachi to think. He actually was waiting for Adachi to react to his terrible joke. And not the joke itself but Kurosawa’s behavior caused Adachi to double over with laughter.
“ See! Told you it was funny!” Kurosawa beamed at him. Adachi laughed harder.
“ You- you are so stupid,” Adachi said between laughter. Kurosawa approved him with a nod.
“ And you love me,” he said matter-of-factly.
“ So, so much,” Adachi said, with total honesty. Kurosawa smiled at him once again. This time it was gentle.
“ Any better, love?” he asked very softly. Adachi moved his hands to Kurosawa’s hair. He played with soft brown hair. He loved him so much it kind of hurt.
“ Much better, but keep talking, alright?” he for a second felt like a petulant child. However, Kurosawa smiled at him reassuringly.
“ Of course,” he said earnestly.
And then he did. He talked to Adachi the whole time he prepared the breakfast. Even when they were eating their food, he offered Adachi his commentary on it. Adachi still felt a bit lost; however, it was just a feeling. The love and adoration he had for Kurosawa was his anchor. It was going to be different. And Adachi was going to miss hearing Kurosawa’s voice in his head. But he was going to get used to this too.
Kurosawa’s narration of his thoughts was very similar to what Adachi was hearing when he touched him; however, there were some differences. And Adachi loved them. Adachi loved Kurosawa. And Kurosawa loved Adachi. They were going to learn to navigate this without magic.
They were going to be alright.