Chapter Text
A fierce ray of light shown down on Camp half-blood. The goddess of the Hunt frowned. The hunters were visiting the demigod camp, to Thalia's delight. She had tried to hide it, but she had been missing Nico and Percy. Jason's death was still raw in her mind.
Artemis had noticed this, and decided her hunters could use a break. They had lost many hunters in the fight with Orion. Phoebe's presence was sorely missed. Not only was she a great tracker and healer, her personality and dry humour had always kept the mood up. The hunters had loved her like a sister.
She had made her hunters promise not to burn any cabins down. She didn't want any more incidents, and neither did Chiron.
Artemis was still pondering what could've happened as she and the Hunt drew closer to the center pavilion. She let her hunters get settled at the mess hall (those magic food plates were really handy) and went to seek out where the sharp beam of light was directed at. She loved her brother, but sometimes he was impulsive and couldn't control himself. She had always been the cold twin, while he had always been warm and happy, having crazy ideas that Artemis shot down. Lately, though, he had seemed distant and melancholy. She wondered what that was about.
As the Goddess of the Hunt, Artemis could easily make her footfalls unnoticebale and impossibly quiet. She definitely didn't want her little brother (though he claimed to be older) to notice her spying on him.
She narrowed her eyes. Sitting on the beach, staring into the distance, was Percy Jackson. And the beam of light? It was enveloping him. The realization struck her like one of Zeus's bolts. Apollo was in love. Artemis had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. Of course. He had been distant because he was too busy spying on his little crush.
The goddess knew, of course, that this wasn't just a little crush. With her twin brother, no, it was never a crush. He loved deeply and fiercely, with his whole heart. She admired that about him, but she didn't want him to get hurt again. It had happened time and time again with Hyacinthus and Daphne, and Artemis hated when Apollo was in pain. A wave of fierce protectiveness washed over her. She was going to keep on eye on their relationship. She would not let her brother get his heart broken.
There was something off about the way Perseus was sitting there, though. He looked... different. Broken. Nothing like the boy who would not give up for his search for that girl. It was stark, the differences between the scarred boy in front of her and the boy who had willingly took the sky. He held himself like the world itself rested on his shoulders, with a weary sadness deep in his bones. She supposed Tartarus would do that to a man. Nothing like walking through hell to break everlasting spirit.
Perseus didn't seem to notice that fierce ray of sunlight targeted at his lean frame. Artemis let out a quiet sigh. That man really needed to develop some self-esteem. Despite how much he had changed since she last saw him, he was still completely oblivious to other people's attraction to him.
Artemis walked away, feeling apprehensive. She supposed Percy Jackson would be the best man for Apollo. At least he wouldn't willingly break his heart.
~
Percy sat on the shoreline, waves lapping at his feet. He felt better, strangely, after Apollo healing him. He had woken up groggily, sluggish after having a fitful sleep for the first time in weeks. He had thought he was still dreaming when he saw the greek god sitting at his bedside. He had made a joke about the god's bedside manner, and Apollo had blushed, just a little bit. Percy could see his cheeks tinge gold.
It was quite entertaining, he supposed. For some reason, his brain conjured up a memory. Standing behind the Sun chariot with Nico and Thalia."Apollo is hot," Thalia had said. Percy shook off the memory. Why was he thinking of that now? Apollo was attractive, as gods usually were, but he had an aura to him.. Percy shook his head firmly. No. Not going down that rabbit hole.
His ears twitched. Did he hear something? He had been sensitive to noise since Tartarus, always waiting for the next monster to appear. He looked around wildly. Nothing. Must've been his imagination, then. Percy decided maybe he should get some lunch. He hadn't had an appetite in more than a month. He only went because he knew Will Solace would get on his case if he didn't eat.
When he saw who was at the mess hall, he regretted it. he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to curl up and die.
~
"Kelp head! Where were you?" Percy was greeted by a bone-crushing hug from Thalia. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes. A fierce wave of guilt washed over him. He pulled away from her arms and resisted the urge to run from all the prying eyes in the pavilion.
Thalia looked happy to see him. Surprising, considering that her brother died because of Percy's stupid selfish desires. He felt her gaze on him, and he couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm sorry," he blurted out. Thalia looked confused.
"What for?" Thalia didn't know. She didn't know what he had done. She didn't know that Jason Grace had been on the quest Percy was supposed to die on. She wouldn't be standing there, grinning, if she knew.
"I--" Percy stuttered out. The words felt like they were stuck in his throat. It wasn't the rigidness of a hestitant apology, it was a brutal truth that hurt to say, because he knew that she would forgive him, and he hated it. He deserved to die in place of Jason. Why didn't he go? Why did he think he deserved a break for once in his life?
"It was my fault. It- It should've been me." Thalia looked taken aback. Percy could feel everyone's gaze on him. So he turned and ran, to the woods, to wherever his legs would take him.
He ran and ran and ran, until he couldn't see a soul.
What he wanted most was to climb up a tree and fall. He couldn't explain it to anyone, but it sounded soothing in a way he wanted desperately.
He had buried his feelings about Jason's death for as long as he could. He knew if he thought about it too much, it would destroy him. And honestly, Percy's psyche was probably halfway to shattering already. Another name to add to the list. Another person he couldn't save. Another hero in Elysium too early.
Percy wanted to cry, but he forced the tears down. He didn't deserve to feel bad about it. Jason was the one who was dead. How could Percy even begin to grieve when it was his fault?
So he just sat there, staring at nothing, keeping his guilt-ridden sobs back. Maybe a monster would come kill him. Everyone would be better off if he just- Wow. Even Percy was surprised by his own dark thougths. Percy tried to dispel the shadows lurking in his mind, but they haunted him still. Jason Grace. He was a great guy, a great hero. Percy had liked him, and he respected his sense of duty. Jason had reminded Percy of himself, of the pain they couldn't afford to show, of the grief they hid. Jason had saved him when they faced off against Kymopoleia. I’m sorry, Jason.
Percy reminded himself that Thalia was hurting, probably more than him, and he was the one that had run off like a coward. It was her brother. She had just gotten him back, and now he was gone again.
He cried, eventually, when his guilty conciense couldn't stop him anymore. The tears came out fast and silent, just like the Lieutenant of Artemis when she stepped into the woods.
~
Thalia found her cousin in the woods, with tears streaking down his cheeks. Wordlessly, she stepped out from the shadows and embraced Percy. He stiffened. Thalia only hugged tighter and gave him a piercing glare. He relaxed. She could see the beginnings of a small smile on his face.
"sorry," Thalia could only barely make out the soft noise, even with her enhanced hearing.
"It wasn't your fault," Thalia hoped that he hadn't been like this every day. He had seemed off since he and Annabeth broke up, but not like this. Not in tears, not broken, not huddled into a ball on the floor.
Percy tried to nod, but the daughter of Zeus could see the doubt and guilt flickering in his eyes. Thalia didn't press. She had felt the same way, too, when Jason had been taken by Lupa at 2. She had been young, but ever since that day, she had been replaying it in her head, wondering if she could've saved her innocent baby brother.
She tightened her hold around his middle. Percy had obviously lost weight. Come to think of it, he hadn't eaten lunch before running off.
Thalia didn't push. Her not-so-little cousin needed time, she knew, to heal. They held each other in the forest. At some point, they had both started crying. Their grief came out in streams. Around each other, they didn't need to be strong, to be the hero, to be the rock, never wavering. She didn't need to be the caretaker, the Mama Bear for the children who never had real parents.
The trees seemed to comfort her, swaying to the rhythm of her heartbeat. She felt something like hope flicker in her chest.
They were going to be okay. They had to be.