Chapter Text
Charlie without a single doubt in his mind fucking hated Ben Hope.
Like, a lot.
“Mother fucking cunt,” Charlie fumed, pacing around the rather large but still smallish hotel room. “Fucking cockwomble, fucking fuck faced, small wrinkled dick bag of worms.”
He made another pass by Tao, who was sitting on the couch, on his mobile, nodding along. “About to send him a strongly worded DM.”
Charlie snorted, coming to a stop across from him. “That’s going to do nothing, Tao. I’m sure he has you blocked, since he’s now blocked me on my official and finsta accounts. Like a fucking coward.”
“And your secret third fanboy account?”
Charlie scowled. “No.” He took a second to glare at Tao. “I was under the impression only I knew about that.”
“I do too,” Isaac chimed in from his seat at the bar dividing the kitchen area from the living room. “Wot?” he questioned when Charlie looked at him. “Charlie, I’ve known you since you were a teenager. I know everything, probably even more than Tao and Elle do, honestly. I might rival Tori.”
“Fuck off, not helping,” Charlie said, harshly but Isaac just rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling. “Can you believe that scrotum cockroach was like oh, Charlie just talk to me and I’ll make them private again! Like fuck you, everyone’s seen them already and saved them. There is no going back.”
“At least they weren’t nudes,” Isaac added, unhelpfully. Charlie’s face paled and he looked away, but Isaac caught it. “Come on Charlie, everyone knows you use SnapChat for nudes. Are they at least tasteful?”
“I don’t know,” Charlie said, throwing his hands in the air. “I was sending them to my boyfriend, it’s not like I hired Annie Lebowitz to do them for GQ.”
“At least if he posts those, you can sue him or something,” Tao added. “Not that I’m saying he should but it would give us some kind of legal grounds.”
“I don’t want a fucking legal cause, Tao, I want him to be punted into the sun.”
Charlie knew he was being a bit unfair to his best friends, but if he couldn’t bitch at them, then who could he bitch to? Sure, his sister and therapist will hear all about it eventually, but right now, when everything was raw, Isaac and Tao were the two unlucky ones. Elle was only spared because she was working and couldn't go to the live show until later this evening.
“How about you sit down,” Tao said, patting the couch next to him. “Maybe eat something too? Or not. Just don’t want you to-”
Letting out a loud groan, Charlie very dramatically flopped on the couch next to Tao, cutting him off. “I’ll fucking eat in a minute, I’m not giving gerbil dick the satisfaction of causing me any kind of relapse.”
“Good,” Tao said, patting him on the shoulder. “Isaac, can you grab us something?”
Charlie closed his eyes, adjusting so he was laying his head on Tao’s shoulder. He was suddenly reminded of years earlier when a teenaged Charlie used to do the same thing anytime his heart was broken. But this was so much more than heart breaking, this was devastating. He should have known better too, Ben was never really all that nice to him and Charlie was loads more famous than Ben was. Everyone had tried to warn him that Ben was just after fame but Charlie was willing to just… try.
Like an idiot.
Isaac appeared in front of him with two slices of jam covered toast on a plate. “Stop spiraling and eat.”
“I’m allowed to spiral,” Charlie insisted, sitting up better and taking the plate. “I fucked up.”
“You didn’t fuck up,” Tao said, putting his mobile down for the first time since Ben made his Instagram post an hour ago. “You just have terrible judgement when it comes to men. Ben’s the one who did something wrong anyways. You should have broken up with him, but he shouldn’t have shared all of your private photos with the world.”
Charlie took a bite of his toast, his mobile had been taken by Isaac when he arrived, mostly for Charlie’s sanity. He’d only arrived back in London the night before, being put up at the fancy hotel by the studio in preparation for his big media tour for his new movie coming out soon. Thankfully he had a day off and was just getting out of bed when his mobile exploded with messages. Ben had posted several photos of the two of them throughout their six month courtship, many of them private, intimate moments with just the two of them and with Charlie’s personal friends. It wasn’t an accident either, Ben made some statement about how Charlie broke his heart or something.
He hadn’t bothered to read it, mostly because he was so angry he could murder someone. Thankfully Tao and Isaac were only a twenty minute train ride away and arrived before Charlie could do anything stupid. His publicist, Micah had spent an hour on the phone with him, which just resulted in the plan of ignoring all of it and hoping Ben would just fuck off (and die, thoughCharlie was adding that bit at the end).
“I still say you should just tell everyone he cheated,” Tao suggested. “It would be the truth.”
“And then everyone would know I was cheated on, it’s not a good look either. Just as long as he doesn’t… say anything else, it’s fine. It’s just pictures, right? Harmless.”
Charlie didn’t believe his own words, hanging his head down on his chest. Yes, they were just pictures but they were his life. Becoming a famous actor as a teen wasn’t the path Charlie thought he’d go down but he loved it. And since then he’d taken great pains to keep his life private, which included only posting on his socials for work related events, not talking about his dating life, or his friends and family. It was a bit anal, but everything he put out into the public was completely controlled by himself and his people, from interviews to photos to any other social media posts. Even the ones from his co-stars and friends, all of it was carefully controlled to the very last detail.
It was the only way Charlie felt remotely comfortable being famous. Sure, a lot of it was probably stemming from his OCD and anxiety disorders, but his therapist wasn’t bothered and it made Charlie feel safe. The only problem was the few moments like this, where he was suddenly completely exposed to the world. Those were the hard ones, that’s where he had to pull together all of us safe coping mechanisms. That’s when he had to make sure he didn’t spiral or just stop eating, or well, doing much worse than both of those things.
Calling Tao an Isaac was the best he could do to stop himself from completely losing it. Tori had been next, but she was hours away in Edinburgh and could only offer her services of murdering Ben and hiding the body when she came back. Charlie had insisted she stay put, this wasn’t a big emergency, he was fine, his public image was going to take a hit probably and now a bunch of strangers got to see him completely unguarded and they might ask him about it but overall he was fine. It was a testament to his progress that Tori didn’t drop everything and believed him.
Micah stopped by shortly after that, providing yet another sympathetic ear with a lot less judgement, thankfully. He wouldn’t say they were friends, but he liked her a lot and she’d never steered him wrong over the last four years of his career. She was more about image and the bottom line, but she took everything in stride and always stuck up for him.
“I’m working on something,” she said kindly, before leaving. “And I’ve already talked to the studio and sent out a press statement. No one’s supposed to bring up Ben tomorrow at all. And if they do, you just pretend nothing is wrong. You don’t even have to admit you’ve dated him.”
“The pictures are pretty conclusive,” Charlie said, remembering a selfie he’d taken himself of kissing Ben’s cheek in the living room of his London flat. He had sent it to Ben the next day, with a heart xx message. It hurt him more, seeing that one, than the rest for some reason.
“So? Doesn’t mean you have to confirm anything. Just act natural and you’ll be fine, the less bothered you are by it, the less they’ll want to know.”
By the time Elle showed up a few hours later, the panic had subsided into a dull rage, only exacerbated when Charlie was allowed his mobile again. Instead of making a post demonizing Ben, he blocked him too and turned off all notifications. He just had to keep hoping this news would go away soon. Ben was just a low level “model” influencer, he wasn’t going to get the big kind of attention he thought he would. The timing wasn’t ideal with the press junket starting tomorrow, but in the world of celebrity, breaking news could change on a dime.
🍂🍂🍂🍂
The next day wasn’t any better, especially since Charlie had to start the stupid press tour. He was stuck sitting in a room for hours, answering questions and looking like he wasn’t a ball of anxiety currently dosed in anger juice. It didn’t help that his co-star, Adam, (who thankfully hadn’t been a love interest), was a complete knob. They didn’t get along while filming, something they covered up pretty well and they could usually handle themselves well in public together, but Charlie wasn't sure if he could pretend any longer today. Especially when the second Adam sat besides him in the dressing room, he was already poking the bear.
“Did you really have to go breaking Hope’s heart right before our movie comes out?” Adam asked, sipping on his fancy, expensive coffee. Hair and makeup swarmed him, as they had already done with Charlie. His favorite hair stylist, Joanne, was currently making his curls look perfectly tousled. The woman with Adam was tending to his stubble.
“Yeah well,” Charlie said, trying to focus on his hands, not anyone else. Tao and Isaac once again took his mobile from him, when they caught him doom scrolling in the morning. It was not his fault he was desperate to know what people were thinking. He already saw several TikTok videos showcasing the photos, most of them were about the timeline of their relationship. Someone had sussed out when they met, at some party Charlie was at. They weren't photographed together, but it was clear they were both there. It was pretty alarming how accurate the timeline ended up being, despite neither of them actually posting anything that suggested they were dating.
The only thing on Charlie’s account, which he deleted, was a photo of him, Ben and a few other influencers taken two months into dating. They weren’t even standing next to each other and at the time, no one had speculated a thing. Ben’s sexuality wasn’t out in the open, which is why Charlie was so surprised when he was willing to come out just to humiliate him.
“Just don’t talk too much about it,” Adam said, as if Charlie planned on spending the entire day wallowing about having broken up with that turd biscuit.
“Wasn’t planning on it, interviewers were already told not to ask.”
“Doesn’t mean they won’t.”
“I know,” Charlie huffed, thankful when Joanne announced he was finished. She gave him a very sympathetic half hug before he left. He was passed around a bit after like some kind of hot potato, going over things with Micah and then a rep from the studio who reminded Charlie of all the important talking points that had already been drilled into him. This was not his first press junket, nor his first big movie. He wasn’t even the big lead either, that was Adam’s character, Charlie played the best friend who remained loyal and single and also gay, the whole movie.
If he was being honest, it felt a bit fake. The company wanted to have a queer character to show how “progressive” they were but Charlie really was just a set piece queer. The story itself wasn’t terrible, it was a mix between fantasy and sci-fi, Adam and Charlie’s characters were D&D nerds who got transported into the realm they created as kids. It was formulaic from there, they had to rescue a princess and fight orcs and blah blah blah. Charlie got to film some cool CGI driven fight scenes and he didn’t die. He wouldn’t have signed on if they were going with the ‘bury your gays’ trope.
By the time he was mic'd up and sitting on his less than comfortable seat, Adam strolled in, looking dolled up to the nines. While they were both wearing designer clothing, Charlie was more casual, a tee shirt and jeans, Adam looked like he was ready to take their interviewer on a date. Charlie ignored him, as Adam bitched about something stupid about the shoes he wanted to wear but the studio rejected. Their first interviewer came over, shaking hands and immediately launching into their questions.
Charlie turned off the normal part of himself, launching easily into the Charlie Spring the public adored and called “cute”, “funny” and sometimes even “sexy” depending on what he was doing. He hit every mark, made every joke as he should and told the best stories from filming. A few of them were fibs, making it seem like Adam spent time with the rest of the cast and not holed up in his trailer. The rest of the cast in question were all good people, no one Charlie planned on remaining friends with but the public didn't need to know that. So yes, he loved working with Olivia and Drew, they were so fun!
Despite being considered the better actor, Adam wasn’t nearly as convincing. Something that made Charlie ridiculously proud, almost so much so he nearly forgot about how shitty yesterday had been. It only took three interviews before someone brought up Ben, a young man from some indie online magazine, who looked like he took great pleasure in asking the “forbidden” question.
“So Charlie, how are you feeling post Ben break up?”
Adam snorted and it took all of Charlie’s acting skills not to both roll his eyes or step on Adam’s studio approved shoes. “I’d rather not talk about that, we’re here to talk about Kingdom Far Away.”
“Yeah, but it’s gotta suck, yeah? You’re a very private person and Ben seemed to be willing to share-”
“I’d rather not talk about this,” Charlie cut him off. “Be respectful, mate.”
“I’m just doing due diligence, the internet will want to know.”
Charlie smiled, trying to look as unaffected as possible, relaxing his stance. It was something he worked on with this therapist, not letting the outside world know how close to the edge he was. “I don’t see how it’s anyone’s business, to be honest.”
“I think Ben made it everyone's business,” the interviewer said clearly excited he was touching a hot button topic. God, Charlie hated people who did this, who liked making public figures uncomfortable and exposed. He shot a look over to Micah and the studio dude, who were talking quietly to each other.
“Then why don’t you ask Ben about it, because I’m not interested in discussing anything.”
Charlie was quite proud of his answer, smirking. The interviewer smirked right back. “Sure,” he said, and then launched into a round of questions about queer representation in the media and other questions that seemed right on the edge of being disrespectful or probing. Charlie let Adam answer a few of them, watching him stumble upon the response about Charlie’s character’s queerness and how Adam’s straight character handled it.
(Answer he doesn’t but Adam was instructed to make some cock and bull story about how his character has spent their adolescence looking out for Charlie, and blah, blah, white knight, blah blah.)
They took a break after that guy, which Charlie was thankful for. They weren’t supposed to have one for another hour but it was clear Micah and the studio rep knew Charlie would need a minute. He fucked off out of the room, finding solace in the hallway, wishing he had his mobile. Tao and Isaac were upstairs in his room, Charlie knew he could send Micah for it, or someone else but he was trying to resist.
He knew he wouldn’t go back to Ben, he wasn’t fucking stupid, but he really felt like sending Ben one last fuck you message. Or maybe posting the cheating receipts Charlie had. Ben wasn’t even good at hiding his fuck buddy, a girl whose name Charlie didn’t even know. Ben had, of all things, sent him a sext meant for her, made clear when Ben talked about Charlie's “bouncy tits” and “pretty pussy” that he fucked the night before, when Charlie a) had none of those and b) was not with Ben the night before. He tried, in vain, to pretend he was fucking role playing but Charlie was anything but an idiot.
If he could somehow post the screenshots anonymously he would but it would be pretty clear that Charlie was the one who leaked them. And on some level, Charlie didn’t want to embarrass the girl because he was considerate of other people’s feelings. He did wonder what she thought of the picture spam Ben posted, or maybe he was feeding her some cock and bull story.
Either way, it wasn’t really Charlie’s problem and he needed to divorce himself from Ben Hope quickly.
“Charlie?” Micah asked, sticking her head into the hallway from the room they’d been using. “Ready, babes?”
“No,” Charlie huffed, kicking off the wall and going back in. “But when has that ever stopped me?”
“It’ll be fine,” Micah offered, as Joanne stopped him before he sat back down, redoing some of his curls and running a comb through the back of his hair. He had been running his hand nervously through it a bit, so he knew he’d messed it up. “We told the remaining press anyone who asks will be removed. No one wants to risk their jobs just for some silly gossip.”
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The rest of the press junket passed without another stupid Ben question.
There were still stupid questions, but those were easily handled and didn’t leave Charlie feeling unpleasant. It was dinner time when he left, heading back up to his room, delighted to see Elle, Tao and Isaac milling around.
“Let’s go out,” Charlie announced.
“Why?” Elle questioned. “I thought you hated being papped.”
“Yes, but right now, I hate Ben more and my hair looks really fucking good. I’d rather put on my best jeans and most cropped top and go out to a club tonight with my besties.”
Tao looked a bit concerned. “Have you been day drinking?”
“No,” Charlie said, sticking out his tongue. “I’ve been forced to spend time with Adam and be fake all fucking day. I just want to go out, drink, maybe dance and just show that dick cheese that nothing he does means a thing to me.”
“Is this Micah approved?” Isaac asked.
“It can be, I’m sure she’ll be happy for me. We’ll just go to The Dragonfly, it’s a decent club, it’s within walking distance and I’ve been papped there before with you guys. And if I feel like shit, we just come right back here, promise.”
His best friends, whom he loved above else, exchanged looks in what Charlie knew was a very judgemental and silent conversation. He allowed them to have their little thing, as he stood, hand on his hips, waiting. Eventually Elle smiled. “Alright, fine. Do you want me to do your makeup?”
“Fuck yessss,” Charlie cheered.
An hour later, he was dolled up again, hair looking great, eyeliner and a little bit of lip gloss adorning his face. He picked out one of his normal artfully cropped tops that only looked like it was from the bargain bin. In reality it cost him a cool 350 pounds, almost as much as his 400 pound black skinny jeans. His Converse were the cheapest thing he wore, honestly. Elle, Tao and Isaac didn’t have designer clothing, but they still looked good too. They made a very fun and sexy queer little group of friends, unbothered by dirt turds like Ben Hope.
Micah hadn’t been completely sold on the idea, but let him go anyway, even without one of his bodyguards. Charlie usually declined one, he wasn’t famous enough that he felt it was strictly needed. He could fend for himself, and with a group, he was even more protected. They left the hotel, Charlie holding Elle’s hand as they made their way through the lobby. The hotel was a hot bed for celebrities, which meant paps, especially since most people knew there was press for the movie going on. They left the hotel to a round of clicks and camera flashes. Charlie put on his best smile, giving a friendly wave before ducking down and walking with his friends.
He considered himself lucky that his best friend didn’t mind being photographed; Elle was a pretty popular Instagram artist herself, while Tao and Isaac were anonymous enough. Sure, people knew their names, Charlie was granted permission to talk about them if needed. His careful control of his public image did include their faces sometimes. Some of the pictures Ben had posted had the group too, from a few movie nights Ben had been a part of. The memory made him frown, annoyed he brought someone so fucking terrible to something he considered sacred and precious.
“Cheer up,” Elle said, noticing how sad he’d gotten. “You look so fucking good, Charlie Warlie.”
He held his head a bit higher as they walked down the street towards the club. Some paps followed them, keeping the normal distance, as well as a few fans too. Charlie wasn’t going to stop unless someone came up to him, but flanked by Elle with Tao ahead and Isaac behind him, he was pretty protected. When they arrived at the club, they were seated right away, a booth in the back, away from the general population.
Charlie ordered them a round of shots, as well as a few individual drinks. Tao snuck in two orders of hot chips too, since they had only snacked lightly before coming out. No getting drunk on an empty stomach, especially not when drunk Charlie liked to take his shirt off and sober Charlie always regretted the inevitable numerous pictures that came after. It wasn’t that he didn’t like seeing his body in these—though he spent years actively hating it and being very mean to it, he was a bit better now. However, being in front of the camera all the time had made him picture adverse, he tried to avoid seeing his own shows, movies and photos, though it was nearly impossible.
“Feeling good yet?” Isaac asked across the way, the book he’d been reading sitting open on the table.
“Yes,” Charlie lied, because despite this being his idea, his love for it was slowly waning already. Clubs were loud and full of people and Charlie’s social battery hadn’t been charged enough. But he really did want to be papped caring so little about what happened, it seemed like the only thing he had left in his control. So he took his shots with his friends, smiled and laughed in all the right places, a show that was a little more sincere than the press junket.
He let Elle pull him to the dance floor, moving his body with the crowd, pretending to ignore the people taking obvious photos of him. After an hour and a half, he sat in the booth, exhausted, scrolling through the mobile that had been returned to him. He took a few selfies at the start of the night. He ended up posting one with Elle in it, typing some message about being with friends after a long day or something. He had to go to Micah for approval, since he had been drinking, but she sent the thumbs up right away.
“Think that’ll piss Ben off?” Charlie asked, showing Tao the Instagram post.
“Do you want to?” Tao questioned.
“Eh,” Charlie shrugged. “I want to cut off his dick and feed it to a sheep, but making him jealous or annoyed that I don’t give a shit is better.”
Tao frowned. “You know I hate to be so negative.”
“You don’t, but go on.”
Tao rolled his eyes. “You said it before, he has other photos of you, aren’t you a bit worried about what he’ll do in response?”
Charlie was, of course, but he was tipsy now and that responsible, level-headed Charlie was taking a brief nap. “You said it before, he posts those, I go after him. There’s not much else he has, you know? I can’t let this venereal disease of a human make me feel bad about myself. He needs to know he isn’t bothering me.”
“But he is,” Tao not so helpfully pointed out. Charlie took a sip of his drink.
“Correct, but he doesn't need to know that.”
Tao gave him a very sympathetic look and Charlie turned away, going back on his mobile.
Despite knowing he shouldn’t, he did bring up the page for a celebrity gossip site he knew very well he shouldn’t frequent as much as he did. He was very pleased to see the top story was not about him and Ben, instead a different headline, somewhat unexpected. “Rugby Soft Boi Nick Nelson Comes Out as Bisexual!”
“Oh shit,” Charlie said, sitting up and nudging Tao next to him. “Nick Nelson’s bi.”
Tao made a grunting sound. “Are you sure?”
“Well,” Charlie said, bringing up the liked Instagram post, which was indeed Nick’s. The photo was of a much younger looking Nick, wearing a bi pride shirt.The caption was simply, “I’m bi actually”. The post was only hours old but there were thousands of comments. He scrolled through a few of them, they mostly seemed positive but there was a fair share of negative ones, or of those assuming it was some kind of joke.
He showed the screen to Tao and then Isaac and Elle across from him, giving them a chance to look at the photo.
“Still looks like the straightest bloke,” Tao said, shoving hot chips into his mouth, with a disapproving glare.
“Tao, come off it, don’t be like that,” Elle said before Charlie could reprimand him. Charlie took back his mobile, going back to the article. “That’s good news for your massive crush, Charlie.”
“Doesn’t mean he’d like me,” Charlie answered quickly, reading what had happened. Like a majority of people, queer, straight or other, he had a massive crush on Nick Nelson the second the rugby player shot to fame for being fucking adorable and perfect. He was the internet’s boyfriend and seemed to do absolutely no wrong. Charlie knew fuck all about rugby, everything he knew was just from being a little bit obsessed with Nick. Whom he’d never met before, let alone even been in the same room as him.
The rugby lad and gay nerd circles didn’t overlap very often.
But now they had a possible venn diagram of queerness for them to intersect.
It seemed as if someone, not Nick or anyone in his circle, had posted a picture of a young Nick and his uni boyfriend. It didn’t seem malicious, but it spread quickly and no one wanted to believe Nick was gay, so it looked as if Nick took matters into his own hand and posted only hours later.
Charlie was happy that he was able to come out, though sad it wasn’t on his own terms, since Charlie knew how that shit felt. But also secretly glad it pushed his own news story down to second place. His headline was far less scandalous: “Charlie Spring and Ben Hope Break Up But WereThey Even Dating?” The article talked about how the “notoriously private” Charlie Spring seemingly cut ties with his boyfriend Ben Hope, who posted several photos of the two of them. Speculation seemed to think it was a weird reverse soft launch, despite the clear message of break up. They did, however, post the photos and Charlie had to stop looking at them.
“Does it make me a terrible person that I’m glad someone else is having a worse week than I am?” Charlie asked.
“Nah,” Isaac answered. “Maybe you should message Nick and commiserate together.”
“Oh, yeah!” Elle said happily, eyeing Charlie’s face down mobile. He grabbed it, stuffing it in his pocket to prevent her from having it. “Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
“Nope,” Charlie said, holding his hands up. “No thanks. I am not interested in opening yet another can of worms. Nick and I can co-exist in the gossip sphere for a bit together before some reality TV star gets knocked up, divorced or both.”
Little did Charlie know, 24 hours later, that would all change.