mansplain, manipulate, malewife. wait what was that last one

by amazingem

Summary:

Shen Yuan plays video games a little too loudly. Luo Binghe, trying to sleep, knocks on his door.
This changes the trajectory of his life forever.
- - -

"Shutting the door, Shen Yuan leaned against the back of it, his heart beating oddly fast. He put his headphones back on.

'Hey, I’m back. …Yeah, I woke up my neighbor. Well maybe I wouldn’t be yelling if you’d keep your hands off my crops!'

'Our crops, comrade,' said the tinny voice from his headphones. 'So, this the neighbor you’ve never seen?'

He gave one last look at his door before picking the controller back up. 'Yeah. He seemed nice. He probably hates me now, though.'

...

Luo Binghe’s only thought, as he walked away from Shen Yuan’s door, was: 'I want to be that man’s wife.'

This was an entirely new thought for him."

Notes:

hi hi. i'm breaking the posting seal. this is a WIP, but I have some scenes already written down for later chapters. i'm hoping posting it will give me the motivation i need to continue writing. (comments are writing fuel!)

what sport does Binghe play? no idea. something adequately body-toning, combative, and definitely competitive. do they give scholarships for martial arts?

also where is this college? no idea. i'm american so this is definitely going to be influenced by my own college experience, but SY and LBH are in a magic college void independent of any nation, where anything can happen~

hoping to keep updating this maybe weekly? as chapters are written i'll put them up!

Chapter 1

“Motherfucker!”

Luo Binghe, having been attempting to fall back asleep, reluctantly opened his eyes. His phone showed that it was just after 1am: a normal time for college students to be still awake, he assumed, but his morning shift at the bakery started in threehours, and fuck, he was so tired. 

“No, I gave the wrong gift – Airplane you fuck. That’s my boyfriend!! Get the fuck away!!”

Luo Binghe had not seen his neighbor once since the semester started. His door decorations said his name was Shen Yuan, but they seemed to have opposite schedules. The only time Luo Binghe even knew his neighbor was alive was at night, when Shen Yuan began… doing whatever he did at night that caused so much cursing.

Usually, Luo Binghe tried to ignore it. He wanted to be a good neighbor, he wanted to make friends, he wanted–

“MARNIE, WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU HOME?”

–to get some goddamn sleep.

Grumbling, a headache forming behind his temples, Luo Binghe slid out of bed and shuffled out to the hall. He knocked on Shen Yuan’s door hard enough to rattle the frame.

“Ah! Fuck. Hold on, I think someone’s knocking.”

A clattering noise from behind the door. What sounded like a body hitting the floor. A muffled curse. And finally, the door opened.

 

---

 

Behind Shen Yuan’s door, at ass-o-clock in the morning, was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. Dark curls cascaded down his shoulders, which were bare - the man was wearing black-and-red flannel pajama pants, and nothing else. His abs looked actually sculpted. Like, there was no way real living people looked like that.

The man was just staring down at Shen Yuan. His eyes were a peculiar shade of brown that almost looked more red in the fluorescent hallway lighting, and combined with his long lashes, he reminded Shen Yuan of a deer. But like, in a positive way! A very handsome deer! Not that Shen Yuan thought he was handsome – he was handsome, objectively, but –

Oops, the handsome deer man was speaking (with a very nice voice, deep, a little growl-y but maybe that was the time of night) and Shen Yuan absolutely did not catch any of that.

“Aha, sorry, can you repeat that? I was, uh… lost in thought.”

“There was a lot of yelling,” Handsome Deer Man said, “and I was trying to sleep.”

Oh! “Oh, shit, sorry,” Shen Yuan’s hands began fluttering as he laughed nervously. “I was playing a game - you know Stardew Valley? Maybe you don’t, you look like you probably play sports or go to the gym instead of gaming, which is good, exercise is great–” What the fuck am I saying?!

Handsome Deer Man cut him off, for which Shen Yuan was immensely grateful. “It’s alright. I work mornings, though, so I’d appreciate if you could yell a little quieter.”

“Absolutely. Only very quiet yelling from now on.” Shen Yuan’s voice was approaching a not-very-quiet yell, and he tried to reign in his nerves to avoid blowing out Handsome Deer Man’s ears. “Sorry again. Are you one of the rooms next door then?”

“Yes, I’m to your left. Luo Binghe.”

“Oh, hi! Yes! I’ve been wondering who you were. I mean, I see the name on your door every day but haven’t seen you at all, so it’s nice to put a face to the name! I’m Shen Yuan. But you probably saw my door, haha.”

“I did,” Luo Binghe said with a small (absolutely devastating, put that thing away!) grin. “But likewise. I need to go back to sleep, but maybe one day you can show me your game?”

“Oh sure! Any time! You know where to find me, haha. I’m really sorry again for keeping you awake!!”

“It’s no problem. Nice to meet you, Shen Yuan.” With that, Luo Binghe gave that little grin again and a wave, and retreated to his own bedroom.

Shutting the door, Shen Yuan leaned against the back of it, his heart beating oddly fast. Probably just from the shock of a social interaction when he wasn’t expecting it. He tried to take a couple deep breaths, then picked up his chair from where he’d tripped over it in his haste to get up and put his headphones back on.

“Hey, I’m back. …Yeah, I woke up my neighbor. Well maybe I wouldn’t be yelling if you’d keep your hands off my crops!”

“Our crops, comrade,” said the tinny voice from his headphones. “So, this the neighbor you’ve never seen?”

He gave one last look at his door before picking the controller back up. “Yeah. He seemed nice. He probably hates me now, though.”

 

---

 

Luo Binghe’s only thought, as he walked away from Shen Yuan’s door, was: “I want to be that man’s wife.”

This was an entirely new thought for him. If you asked any woman on campus, Luo Binghe was a player. A heartbreaker. He was always down to clown, so to speak, but he was in it for a good time, not a long time. Rarely had he been seen with the same girl for longer than a week, and never longer than a month.

Now in his second year of university, Luo Binghe didn’t mind his reputation. If anything, it made his life easier; people knew him, knew of him, and it was clear what they expected from him. To other guys, he was someone to envy: his good looks, his full ride scholarship as an athlete, his perfect grades that seemed effortless. To women, he was the ideal boyfriend: hot, attentive, excellent in bed. To teachers, he was the perfect student, a pleasure to have in class. No interaction was a surprise to Luo Binghe; he could read people as easily as any book, and he always knew how to present himself as exactly as he wanted to be seen.

Somehow, the cute little nerd next door had scrambled his brain. He noticed how Shen Yuan looked at him, and yet during their entire conversation, he could only think of how badly he wanted Shen Yuan to never look away. He could see behind the smaller man how messy his room had been; Luo Binghe wanted to clean it. He wanted to tidy up the clothes from the floor so Shen Yuan wouldn’t trip over them, wanted to make him a nice meal to put some meat on those bones and go on walks outside so Shen Yuan wouldn’t be quite so pale. Yes, he wanted to fuck Shen Yuan, but he also wanted to kiss him gently and wrap him in a blanket and snuggle up together to watch a movie.

These weren’t urges Luo Binghe had really had before. Sure, he’d cared for others before – when his mother was undergoing chemo, he’d happily helped take care of her, but he didn’t feel the urge to do so like he did now. That was a need; this was a want .

Well. Luo Binghe was nothing if not adaptable. He’d figure out how to make Shen Yuan see him as wife material, mold himself into the perfect man to fit at Shen Yuan’s side. How hard could it be?

 

 

Chapter 2

Shen Yuan kept his promise: he “quiet yelled” while he was playing video games, and did not further interrupt Luo Binghe’s sleep for the rest of the week. If Luo Binghe pushed his bed against the wall to better hear Shen Yuan’s muffled voice, well, that was his own business. 

Still, with nothing interrupting his sleep now, Luo Binghe had a new problem: he had no real reason to talk to Shen Yuan at night. Oh, talking to him during the day would’ve been fine, of course… if Shen Yuan was ever home. After three days of trying to catch Shen Yuan returning to the dorms and never quite seeing him, it became clear that their schedules were just too opposite; trying to arrange a “natural” run-in was not going to work.

Thus, Luo Binghe accepted his first casualty in the war to become Shen Yuan’s wife: his sleep schedule. At eleven at night, four days after having met him, Luo Binghe simply knocked on Shen Yuan’s door. In his hands, he held a platter of leftover baked goods: half offering to his future husband, half convenient excuse.

“Luo Binghe!” Shen Yuan looked excited to see him, though his face quickly turned repentant. “Did I wake you up again? I’m so sorry, I’ll be quieter.”

“No need to apologize, you didn’t wake me.” Luo Binghe held out the plate. “I work at a bakery, and we had a lot left over that was just going to be thrown out. I thought maybe you’d want some?” Really, it wasn’t even a lie. Binghe had gone back to the bakery after his shift and his afternoon classes, let himself in with the spare key, and whipped up a few extra things. They wouldn’t have been sellable anyway – half of them weren’t even on the menu.

Shen Yuan’s eyes were wide as he eyed a particularly large cookie sitting precariously at the top of the pile. “That’s so nice, Binghe! Should I just grab one?”

Binghe! He called me Binghe! Luo Binghe worked to keep his face neutral. “Honestly, if you want the whole plate, go for it. I’ve eaten myself sick of baked goods.” Also not a lie; he had to make sure everything was up to his standards before it could be served to his future husband.

Shen Yuan took the cookie with one hand and the rest of the plate with the other. Luo Binghe was glad he was no longer holding it, because he was absolutely not prepared for the noise that came out of Shen Yuan’s mouth when he took a bite. That noise was going to haunt his dreams.

“Binghe! This is fantastic , holy shit!!” The cookie disappeared in seconds. Shen Yuan looked at his empty hand with dismay. Luo Binghe considered dropping out of school and shackling himself to Shen Yuan’s bed. “What’s the name of the bakery?”

Shen Yuan, visit the bakery? Where there were multiple bakers, and he might not get Luo Binghe’s cookies?? Like hell that was going to happen. “Actually, I made these earlier; if you really like them, I’ll bring more.”

“What?? No, you don’t have to do that!”

“It’s no problem, really. I bake in the kitchenette all the time.” That one was a lie, but he didn’t think Shen Yuan was around during the day enough to call him out on it. Luo Binghe hated the kitchenette. It was a dreadful place, eternally a little greasy no matter how much it was cleaned (which was not often), with moldy leftovers loose in the fridge and housing the world’s strangest collection of utensils. The first and only time he tried to bake in there, he’d seen that the singular cake pan had a hole burnt through the center, and had walked directly back out.

But Luo Binghe would brave the dorm kitchens for Shen Yuan. The things he did for love.

“That… I mean, if you’re already baking… But I wouldn’t want to mooch off you!!” As he spoke, Shen Yuan ate little pieces off a croissant mindlessly, not even noticing he was still eating.

“Well…” Luo Binghe pretended to think. “I was curious about that game you were playing. I’ve never played a video game. Maybe you could teach me?”

“You’ve NEVER played a video game? That’s– NEVER?? We HAVE to fix that.” And with that, Shen Yuan finally stopped eating and pulled Luo Binghe into his room by the sleeve. “Never played a video game! We’ll have to start you with the classics, like Pokemon. No, wait, maybe something competitive? I wonder who’d you main in Smash…”

As Shen Yuan rambled, Luo Binghe couldn’t help but smile widely. This had worked so much better than he ever could’ve planned.

Notes:

The people have spoken... I think Binghe plays rugby. This will become relevant. Probably.