Honey honey, see me see me(Honey honey, dont perceive me!)

by Arsonisticbird

Summary:

An alternate way of Ragatha, and this time the entire group, finding out about Ribbits past treatment of Jax. This is an alternate version of an already established storyline.

Notes:

Brought to you by the wonderful Kikishomenow! Thank you for the idea!

Chapter 1

“A… rest day adventure?” Caine’s voice quieted with confusion. Jax rolled his eyes. Rest day? Come on! Booooring!

 

“Rest day? Don’t be boring, Jax!”

 

“Seriously?” Jax groaned, earning more than one glare.

 

“Just because you like the chaos of Caine’s normal adventures doesn’t mean we have to, too.” Zooble snapped at him from their place beside Gangle.

 

“The others like my adventures!” Caine defended, suddenly very worried looking. “Right!?” He snapped his head to look at where Ragatha, Kinger, and Pomni were gathered together. Ragatha and Pomni winced in tandem as Kinger stared into nothingness.

 

“Well…” Ragatha started, clearly thinking over her words. “They aren’t bad, necessarily, just not something we prefer. We like things that are calmer, more like hang outs or games than adventures!” Ragatha smiled nervously.

 

“Yeah!” Pomni nodded along, also nervous looking. “Your adventures are definitely fun sometimes, but they become… stale, when you do them every day.” Pomni said carefully.

 

“Pff! You’re just weak, Pomni!” Jax grinned at her. Pomni glared at him, although it wasn’t as heated as it used to be.

 

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Ragatha defended, clearly already in a bad mood from something that had happened earlier.

 

“Jeez, women sure are emotional. Right, Jax?”

 

“Jeez, you women sure are emotional!” Jax grinned. Ragatha looked ready to pull out her hair.

 

“You literally used to think the same way we do!” Ragatha finally snapped completely, stomping her foot and grabbing futilely at strands of yarn hair.

 

“Do you really wanna be like them, Jax?”

 

“Yeah, well, so did Ribbit! But they changed their mind, and you didn’t say a thing! But oh no, Jax is acting differently? It’s definitely his fault!” Jax mocked, pretending to cry pitifully.

 

“Aww, is Bunny gonna cry? Come’re, baby.”

 

“It’s not their fault they abstracted!” Ragatha screamed. “You just— refuse to cope like a normal human being!” She screamed. Jax’ smiled cracked, twitching in barely concealed anger as he completely forgot about their audience.

 

A harsh hand grabbed his ear and yanked. “You’re not f[#^;>]g human. You hear me, Bunny? You are nothing, much less human.”

 

“Because I’m not!” Jax screamed. “God, Rags! It’s almost like I’ve explained it before! It’s almost like I begged you to hear me out! But nooooo, I’M at fault!” He pushed her backwards, and he wasn’t really sure when he had gotten in her face but God was but satisfying to watch her stumble backwards.

 

“You talked to her, huh? Really? You think you can get away from me? That easily? Ha! Pathetic.”

 

“You were!” Ragatha finally screamed, and it itched something in his brain that he didn’t realize needed to be scratched.

 

“It’ll be your fault if I abstract, Jax.”

 

“Oh yes!” He cackled. “It was my fault Caine had to reset my avatar three times in one night because I provoked them into slamming me down over and over! It’s my fault they decided it was fun to put words in my mouth! It’s MY FAULT that they made their own f[@^;’×]g CHOICES!” He shoved Ragatha back again, not noticing the echoing silence or the horror spreading across her face. No, he had to take it a step further.

 

“Do it. Tell them. I f[<÷;$^]g dare you.”

 

“It’s my fault I hear them, constantly, never endingly, always there! It’s my fault I can still feel their hands, shoving me and touching me and hurting me and doing things that I thought weren’t possible here!” He cackled manicly, stumbling a step back from Ragtah as he straightened his back abruptly. “It is so definitely my fault I decided to do as told and shut the f[#&÷]k up after coming to you for help!” He punctuated the scream by grabbing onto his ears and pulling, feeling the pain draw him back to the present.

 

He, very abruptly, became aware of the silence broken only by his own heaved breath.

 

“Nobody wants to hear your sob story.”

 

He turned his head slightly, minimalized pupils catching sight of the others staring at him and Ragatha in horror.

 

“How many times can you f[$;#]k up in one day? Jeez Jax.”

 

Jax’s breath hitched.

 

“Jax—” Ragatha’s voice broke.

 

“Shut the f[#_$]k up.” He hissed, arms trembling in a way he refused to acknowledge as he turned and ran stomped away.

 

Someone called his name. He didn't answer.

 

He’d gotten used to ignoring unwanted voices.

 

Chapter 2

Summary:

Jax has ran off. Luckily, there's one circus member stubborn enough to follow him.

Notes:

Sorry this took so long y'all, the original doc corrupted, but somehow I could still make a copy and everything I had already written was saved. I hope you enjoy, and if you see any mistakes, let me know! I wrote most of this while sleep deprived and I can only catch so many mistakes myself 💙

Jax was up high.

 

He liked it up here.

 

No one could find him. No one could bother him.

 

Best of all, he got a taste of that oh-so-thrilling life-or-death fear. Sitting with his hands clutching the edge, thighs balancing precariously on the edge, his entire body alight with primal feelings of anxiety and terror…

 

It was almost therapeutic, in a way.

 

He used to feel this daily. Outside of his control. Always done by or for someone else.

 

But now he could do it for him. Under his control.

 

Maybe that’s why he never got the nerve to jump from these places. He couldn’t control the fall.

 

A scraping sound interrupted his thoughts, punctuated by the tell-tale sound of Zooble cursing as they hauled themselves over the edge of the platform. It was in the rafters of one of the offshoots of the ridiculously large circus tent.

 

“Dear God, how the f[%#:]k do you get up here so easily?” They griped. Jax’s smile tightened.

 

“My parts aren’t removable.” His voice was too stale, too dead. Zoobel just huffed and sat beside him, close enough to feel their presence but far enough neither of them could reach the other.

 

An impressive feat, considering how long his arms were.

 

They sat there, in silence, watching the circus in its idle form. Almost disturbingly still and quiet, the bright, colorful space holding a cool and dull atmosphere.

 

Did Zooble understand just how accurate that feeling of a dead town was? Or did they live in a city too busy to die, or a suburb too cozy to echo?

 

“I know how it feels, y’know.” They said quietly. Jax’s ear twitched toward them.

 

He stared forward, words catching in his throat as he tried to rein them in.

 

“D—” the words forced their way out, “Does it ever… go away? Is it possible to get yourself back from that?” He whispered, eyes staring down at the silent, almost abandoned floors below them.

 

“I…” they paused. “It never got that far with me. Almost did, but… yknow. It got better for me. I’m sure it will for you too.” He didn't want to say it, but something cracked a little inside Jax at that.

 

The silence elongated. They sat in it for what felt like ages, the seconds crawling by like an overly patient slug. Jax’s mouth trembled, back hunching over as he stared forward distantly.

 

“...we discovered it together.” He whispered, something akin to rage in his voice. “We realized that Caine didn’t know which nerve sensors to delete. It wasn’t even something we actually did before— just another discovery.” He giggled a bit.

 

“We discovered a lot, you know. Before they started to abstract. They were good then. We found out all the little cheats and codes accessible to us—even how to make keys.” His voice trailed into something more disgusted at the end of his sentence.

 

“I taught them everything.” He hissed, that familiar, burning sensation of resentment bubbling up in his chest. An involuntary giggle tore its way from his throat. “The secret corridors, the changing rooms, the work-in-progress gift shop that Caine never finished, the little places none of you look, the best spots to hide pranks—” he doubled over suddenly, laughter pouring from his sharpened teeth.

 

It ripped through his chest, reverberated through his tense muscles, echoed in his rage-filled brain.

 

“I—” a cackle broke through his words, “I gave them everything!” He suddenly screamed, and the laughter wasn't laughter anymore.

 

Jax shoved away from the edge, tears curling down his cheeks as he panted.

 

“I did the same with my best friend.” Zooble said calmly, looking back at him with calm eyes. “I gave up everything for him. Helped him when times were tough, ghosted my own mother, who raised me all alone, for him.” A small giggle slipped from Jax as he stared at Zooble’s stationary hands.

 

“You’re not the only person to get manipulated and guilt tripped. But that doesn't mean it hurts you any less.” They extended a hand to him.

 

“I don’t want pity.” Jack spat, mouth twitching upwards as manic laughter bubbled below the surface.

 

“It’s not.” They said calmly. “Pity implies that I think you’re an innocent little baby who needs to be coddled from the world. I know you aren’t.” Jax giggled. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be deserving of sympathy, despite what you’ve done. I don’t have to forgive you. You don’t have to forgive me. But we can try to understand each other.” They stretched their hand just a bit farther.

 

Jax stared at the appendage.

 

“...how would I even do that?” He whispered.

 

“You would try.” They said calmly.

 

Jax grabbed their hand and, for once, didn’t yank it clean off.

 

It felt weird.

 

It felt good.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

Summary:

They talk. And talk. And talk. And cry--- wait what?

Notes:

EEEE meant to post this tomorrow, just for a bit of a gap between updates, but. THE VOICES---

 

“I’m going after him.” Zooble said after a few moments of silence, already heading off in the direction the rabbit had run off.

 

“But—” Ragatha startled, moving to cut them off.

 

“I understand it more than I’d like to admit.” Their voice cut through Ragatha’s attempt to go after Jax herself.

 

She froze, then nodded.

 

“Okay.” Was all she could make herself say.

 

They sat in that same harsh, cutting, and utterly baffled silence for a few more moments before Pomni broke it.

 

“Caine.” She said, voice dangerously calm. “Why did you never check why you had to reset Jax’s avatar three times in one night.” Ragatha looked over at them, watching Pomni stare ahead blankly while Caine panicked behind her.

 

“He told me not to worry about it!” Caine exploded, guilt coloring his voice. “He— he always messed up his avatar back then! He would get stuck in places and I’d have to check on him and he told me to not worry about it and to just—reset him!” Caine fumbled over his words, clutching his staff like it might undo the reality just shoved upon him.

 

Pomni took in a breath, then let it go slowly.

 

“...okay.” she took another breath. “Okay. I can understand that. Please check on any of us next time we have to reset our avatar, Jax included in that.” She finally looked at Caine, and even if she was clearly upset, she didn’t push it at him.

 

“Alright.” He agreed easily, and suddenly he popped away. Pomni frowned at the air where he just was.

 

“Caine never handles stress well.” Gangle whispered, frowning despite her comedy mask.

 

Slowly, Ragatha took a seat on the nearby couch. Guilt, anger, hatred, resentment, they all churned in her gut as she thought about all the little things that suddenly made sense.

 

Jax got snappier before Ribbit abstracted. Distanced himself, argued more easily. Especially after he and Ribbit got into that fight in the middle of the tent. The one where Jax shoved Ribbit to the ground when they got to close.

 

“Oh my god…” Ragatha whispered, tears in her eyes.

 

She had thought it was for no reason. Had scolded him when he came to her later that night, called him selfish, rude, entitled, cried as she laid out just how lucky he was to have someone like Ribbit, to be able to keep Ribbit, like they weren’t abstracting as they spoke.

 

No one saw Ribbit the next day.

 

And the day after that, they were gone.

 

Jax slid into their place, took their spot, became the prankster, the wild card, the borderline jerk. Left behind the kind, happy, and bubbly rabbit that giggled whenever Ragatha yelled his name good-naturedly after a great prank, who glared at Ribbit when they brought out the rubber centipedes.

 

And then he got worse.

 

And worse.

 

And suddenly that kind little bunny was dead and gone, for good.

 

But maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Ragatha had just seen the new version of that rabbit and thought “no, this isn’t right, he shouldn't be like this!” and left him to rot away in agony, in silence.

 

“I really did fail him.” Her voice cracked, tears dripping down the corners of her eyes, rolling gently down her cheeks.

 

“You couldn’t have known.” Kinger’s soft voice cut through her spiralling thoughts. She looked up at him, his eyes gentle and fatherly.

 

“Kinger’s right.” Pomni said, moving to kneel in front of her, hands resting gently on Ragatha’s skirt-covered knees.

 

“I could have!” She cried. “I saw the signs, h[$<]l, I mesmerized them! I helped people in bad situations when I was younger, before I went into real estate, I—” she buried her face in her hands. “I know this!” She sobbed.

 

A soft ribbon curled over her shoulder. Ragatha peaked through her hands to see Gangel sitting beside her.

 

“No one caught it with me.” Gangle whispered, and Ragatha felt any remaining warmth drain from her body.

 

“Gangle—” she whispered, but the drama mask cut her off.

 

“It wasn’t their fault. I never reached out. But that wasn’t my fault either.” She stared down at what was vaguely recognizable as her lap. “He made me feel powerless, useless. But he was so charismatic, no one could ever fathom him hurting someone. He was a volunteer firefighter, worked at his mom’s bakery, and gave me a place to live when my parents kicked me out.” Gangle sat her comedy mask to the side letting the tears well up in her eyes.

 

“You can never know for sure until you see it or they tell you. And I always tried to talk to people but—” she laughed, bitter but trying to hope. “Well, you know how I am. I can't speak up for myself. I’m the perfect victim for someone like that." Ragatha sniffled.

 

“You’re so much more than that, Gangle.” She whispered. Gangle blinked at her, almost surprised by the words. “Can—can I give you a hug?” Ragatha asked, quiet and hesitant.

 

Ribbons wrapped around her back.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Ragatha gasped, tears pouting down her cheeks. “I’m so, so sorry!” She sobbed, feeling gloved hands join the hug, wrapped gently around her.

 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of Hey baby, come and see me(hey baby, don't you leave me)