Work Text:
“Here we are!” Portia outstretched her arms to the broad lime-green room. It was decadent in cream colored fixtures and grand carvings in the tall ceiling.
“Uh…in here for the wedding breakfast?” Violet says hesitantly. Pieces of furniture had been covered and stored away in this room, now Penelope’s mother had planned for it to be used for the wedding breakfast.
It had been days away from Penelope’s marriage to Colin. And for the last few days she had been the happiest she could be. Until he had found out her true identity. A secret she had planned on telling him but for some reason could never find the right time. Now he couldn’t even look at her — in fact those dreadful yellow curtains her mother had kept had looked more interesting to him.
Portia looked at Violet curiously. “Do you think it too small?”
Violet blinked bemusedly. “How many people are we inviting?”
Portia smiled. “Well, let me show you how we’ll lay it out.” Mrs. Varley and Violet joined Portia’s side as they walked towards the windows. “Well, I was thinking, this really is my very, very favorite…” Their conversation trailing off in the distance as Penelope anxiously twisted the ring on her finger, glancing over at Colin who refused to look at her with anything more than distain.
“Colin…” Penelope whispered, her stomach swirled with uncertainty at the last attempt to get her husband to at least acknowledge her existence even if he found it difficult, “will you at least look at me?”
He continued to look forward, expression blank and distant. “My mother was curious about our not seeing each other recently, and I did not want to arouse suspicions."
Nerves pooled in her stomach. “Are you going to call off the wedding?”
Colin pursed his lips, still refraining from looking at her, his voice was quiet but firm. “I am a man of honor,” he swallowed, jaw ticking, “and we were… intimate.”
Penelope frowned, as he continued, “Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment.”
She could feel tears bubbling up her throat, but she forced them down as she replied in a shaky voice, “I did not mean to entrap you, Colin. I love you.”
His gaze searched the floor now, and all she wanted him to do was just look at her, hug her, give her a chance to explain. “What will this marriage be?” she asked, fiddling with her ring again.
“That depends…I noticed there was no whistledown this morning. Are you going to stop publishing?”
Penelope pressed her lips together. “I…I do not know…”
Now he was looking at her, he looked unrested, like he hadn’t been sleeping. His expression was still cold.
Then his eyes snapped away from her, and she couldn't breathe again. “Let us get through this wedding, and then we will decide what this marriage will be.”
It was all too much. She had handled things very well. Usually. She had used her writing because she felt like she didn’t have a voice but her writing couldn’t get her out of this one. And right now, being next to the man she loved, a man who seemed like he couldn’t bear to breathe the same air as her really made her feel like she was all alone.
She couldn’t take this.
“Mama,” Penelope called her mother, “I will be right back, I left my fan in my bedroom.”
“You silly girl, we will be heading to the kitchen to talk to the staff about the breakfast menu, meet us there when you’re done, and make haste!” Portia called back, then returned to her conversation.
When she exited the room, Penelope made her way up the stairs to her bedroom.
As she slipped inside her room, and closed the door, she pressed her back against the hard wood, and pressed a palm against her chest in an attempt to calm her raging heartache. Right then, she knew she couldn’t hold it in anymore, tears had slipped down her cheeks, and she couldn’t stop them.
Then she finally gathered the will power to wipe away the remnants of her tears, carefully assuring to not ruin her makeup. She walked over to her bed and picked up her light purple fan she had set there before the Bridgertons arrived. She didn’t think she was going to need it but after their conversation, Penelope knew it would come in handy to hide her tears when standing close to her soon-to-be husband.
Returning to her door, she opened it slowly, and sniffled.
It was who was standing here with his fist lifted as if he were about to knock that shocked her most.
Colin lowered his hand quickly to his side and cleared his throat. “Are you well?”
Penelope thought maybe this was his way of punishing her, giving her the slightest hope that maybe he had forgiven her for everything, but she knew that was unlikely. No, she had to remain strong, she could do this, if he wanted to be cold, she could do it too.
“I do not understand why you would care,” she looked at him, his eyes not quite meeting hers. “It’s clear you cannot even stand to look at me.”
That got him to look at her, their eyes met instantly, and she could see the swirls of uneasiness in his gaze.
“I think it’s appropriate to care,” he sighed, “you just left, knowing you, I do not think it was only because of your fan…”
Avoiding his observation, she slipped past him, “weren’t you the one who said we’d decide what this marriage was going to be? It is clear you don’t actually want to marry me. It’s written all over your face.”
“Pen, I—”
She whirled around to look at him. “You can not call me that anymore,” she retorted with a broken voice. “If you don’t love me then just say it. Because I love you, Colin. I love you so much, and hurts when you look at me like you’d rather be somewhere else…it kills me that you won’t even—”
“I do love you.” He says firmly, eyes lowering to the floor, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “In fact, it’s taking everything in me right now to not take you right here on this floor.”
Penelope blinked in shock, a crease formed between her brows. “What?”
He walked over to her until he was towering over her, leather and pine wafted over her and made her dizzy.
“Your very face haunts me in my dreams. You think it would be easier of me to just let you go?” He brought his face closer, eyes now piercing through her like psyche's arrow. “Do you know that I think about you even when I know of all the things you have written over the years? That I can’t eat, because I keep thinking about your safety, about how I'm going to protect you. That I can’t sleep most nights because I keep thinking about what the Queen is going to do if she were to ever find out…”
“I will figure it out and—”
“Will you? Because I can not lose you.” He shook his head. “I will not survive without you, Penelope. You are my home. You are my purpose. You are my life. Do you understand now? I will do everything in my power to protect you because that is what one does when they are in love.”
She must have been crying again, Colin had lifted his hand to swipe a tear away with his thumb. “Yes, I am a man of honor, but I also do not want to be with anyone else, because it has always been just us. Regardless of everything, you are all that I want, nothing will ever make me stop loving you.”
They looked at each other for a moment, the ache in her chest hadn’t subsided just yet. She burned for his touch, to feel his lips on hers.
There was a beat of silence between them, Penelope tucked her lip between her teeth, then she turned away from him. “We should get back before they—”
He pulled her back to him, kissing her hard. Her legs felt like they were already about to give out. She melted into the kiss, pushing her fingers into his brown waves, tugging him closer, but not close enough.
He pulled her back into her bedroom, and pinned her against the cold wood of the door after he had shut it. “Your dress…” he whispers against her lips. “You always look so beautiful…”
“Colin…Please…”
“How often did you think about me after our first time?” He whispers into her ear, “did you think about me in your bed?”
“Yes…I…I would put my hand between my thighs…”
“Did you imagine it was me?” He purred against her chin, sliding his hands down her sides. “Stretching your sweet cunt open…”
She moaned softly at his words. “Colin…”
“Turn around,” he ordered, “lift your skirts…”
Penelope turned and slowly raised her skirt, Colin had placed his hands on her hips, then grounded his center against her bum. “Do you feel what you do to me?” He asks gravelly. “Fuck…I want you.”
“Yes…take me…” she whimpered, placing her palms against the wood, then arching her back slightly.
Penelope heard the sound of Colin unbuckling his breeches, he hadn’t bothered removing his coat.
He reached around her hip, and slid his fingertips along her seam, his thumb grazing over her throbbing clit. “Oh…Colin…yes…please…” her knees buckled slightly at the contact.
“You’re soaking for me…” he hissed, circling her clit, causing her to buck her hips into his palm.
“Tell me what you want, Pen…” He growled, pinching her clit, “do you want me to fuck your tight cunt? Hm?”
“Yes…” she wiggled her hips, grinding against his fingers. “More…I want you…”
“As you wish…” He removed his fingers, then a few seconds later, she felt the head of his cock prod against her entrance before he pushed in slowly with a groan.
His hands gripped her hips, she fluttered around him, adjusting to his size. This was their second time, and she hadn’t felt the pain like the first time. “Do you hurt?” He asks breathily.
She shook her head. “Please…”
When he began to move, her knees nearly gave out. His thrusts were deep and rough. His cock hit that spot inside that made her toes curl, and she nearly cried out. He pulled her up against his chest, her back to his front, angled her chin enough until he was able to put his mouth over hers. The kiss was punishingly sweet, their mouths moved together while he swallowed all of her soft sounds.
His pace hadn’t faltered, instead it had quickened, he pounded into her with fervor. Lowering his hand from her chin, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer while he fucked up into her and the other hand squeezed her breast through her bodice.
One of her hands lifted to tangle in his hair from behind while the other pressed against the door, keeping her balanced. Their first time had been delicate, like he was taking his getting to know her body, claiming her and now he was reminding her of who she belonged to.
Their intense breathing mingled, the sound of their skin connecting filled the space of her bedroom. She had done a lot of her writing here. Wrote about the change in him this season, still, she never would’ve thought that Colin Bridgerton would be pressing her against her door, and making love to her like he’d been starved for ages.
Then his arm lowered from her waist and his hand went under her skirt, between her thighs. His fingers slid along her seam, thumb circling her clit with her slick. She’d bucked her pussy into his palm, the sensations had been too much.
“Ahh, Colin…I can’t…” she whimpered, clenching around his shaft.
“You fucking can…” he growled, rolling his hips faster, “gods, your cunt is so perfect, Pen…”
“Only for you…it’s…for you…” she moaned breathlessly.
“Fuck…” he squeezed her breast, then tucked his face into her neck from behind, nipping the skin.
“Say you’re mine…” he ordered, his voice low and gravelly.
When she caught her breath, she said, “I’m…yours, Colin…I’ve always been…”
“Gods, you…you’re squeezing me…are you ready to come?”
“Yes…I…Colin—” Penelope rolled her hips into his palm, her head leaning back against his chest as she jolted and came on his cock.
Colin was coming seconds later, painting her quivering walls with his seed. He released his hand from under her gown, she then placed both hands against the door.
His breathing had slowed as she also came down from her high. Everything had felt warm and fuzzy, and she never wanted to leave.
He slowly pulled out from her and lowered her skirts.
Just then there was a knock on the door. It startled the both of them.
“Yes?” Penelope called, looking back at Colin who was tucking himself back into his trousers.
“Your mother is asking for you, have you found your fan?” Mrs. Varley asked from the other side of the door.
“Yes, I’ve found it. I’ll be out soon!” Penelope says.
“Good and have you seen Mr.Bridgerton? He excused himself earlier and hasn’t been back.”
“No, I have not, have you tried the garden?” Penelope asks, looking towards the door.
“I’ll be looking there next.” Varley states. “Hurry up and go to your mother.”
“I will…”
Penelope heard footsteps receding from the door, and when it was quiet again, she turned to Colin who had his hand over his mouth, his shoulders lightly shaking.
“Are you laughing?” She asks, walking over to him, lightly smacking his chest.
“The garden?” He questions, a smile softly finding his lips.
“Well…you were technically in the garden…my garden…and I…”
Colin throws his head back, bellowing out a laugh.
“Shut it, they’re going to know you’re in here.” She shushes him with a soft smile.
“Let them…the sooner I get to marry you, the sooner I get to stay in that garden.”
Penelope shoved him playfully, and rolled her eyes, “you’re relentless...”
“Relentlessly in love with you, yes.” He pulled her in, and kissed her softly before whispering, “forgive me for how I’ve been acting…”
Penelope tucked her lip between her teeth. “You’re forgiven…”
Colin smiled broadly, kissing her again. “Let's clean up and head back…”
Her hands slid down his chest and she nodded, “alright…”