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"So..." Simon says after a second, drawing out the word to buy himself time. While he really doesn’t want to hang up, he doesn't actually know what he wants to say. Or, he sort of does but that is insane and too soon and nope, Simon definitely can't say that.
His heart beats hard in his chest. As he is still trying to find the words to keep Wille on the phone with him, a panicked voice in his head starts screaming at him about whether or not his breath is too loud or too shaky and Wille will know what he is feeling right now.
"I–," he tries at the same time as Wille's soft voice breathes into his ear: "yeah?"
One or two endlessly long seconds stretch on between them before nervous chuckles break out of Simon's throat that feels as if a clump the size of an apple is blocking his airway.
Wille's low, answering chuckles tickle his ear and a shiver runs down Simon's back. This is ridiculous. How can he feel so much for Wille already?
They've known each other for around three months. Three months are nothing, right? It feels like nothing but also like everything.
"What are you getting Linda for Christmas?" Wille breaks the tension but at the same time makes Simon tense up, so that is a bit confusing in its paradox.
But this is just way too sweet.
Wille asks what he got his mum? He called her by her name, Linda? Which he had learned when they met this one, memorable Parents Weekend on which Simon had stayed with Wille at Hillerska and the two of them had lost their virginities together.
Simon had felt on top of the world. Invincible. So incredibly happy. Tingly and giddy and warm and desired. So full of love.
"I, um," he tries to answer the question while his thoughts are on the sight of Wille's pale, naked body spread out on the bed. It seems like an impossible task but eventually Simon tears his mental gaze away from those long, lean legs to concentrate.
"I saved up a bit and got her a coupon for this spa she's been meaning to go to for ages."
Wille is quiet for a beat too long and Simon feels weirdly self-conscious, as if he has to justify his present. He strokes a hand over the wrinkles in his sheets absently as he explains.
"She's pretty stressed, you know? Has been having back pain for a while. I thought it would be nice for her to relax a bit, no?"
"No, yeah, I mean of course," Wille stammers. "That's very nice of you. I'm sure she'll love it."
The sincerity in his voice makes Simon's face heat up.
And somehow his thoughts are still on the night he and Wille had sex for the first time.
How nervous he had been to undress in front of the other boy. No, not just any boy. The prince of Sweden. Because apparently Simon just had to make his life more complicated.
But Wille had been nervous too, and so, so sweet.
He had helped Simon out of his hoodie, fingers trying to flatten his curls afterwards with a gaze that was so affectionate that even now Simon can still feel the sensation he'd had in that moment, like being on a rollercoaster the second it starts swooping down.
He had shivered violently with arousal and Wille had looked down at him in concern, asking him if he was feeling cold.
"No," Simon had gasped. "Just excited."
Before he had been able to mourn the loss of his dignity that had surely left his body along with those words, Wille had attacked his lips hungrily and proved Simon wrong.
"What are you thinking about?" Wille, the actual Wille from this timeline, interrupts his nose dive into memory lane.
"I– uh, nothing! It's definitely nothing, I mean–" Simon stutters and a nearly hysteric giggle escapes him before he can stop it.
On the other end of the line Wille pauses, before he speaks again, his voice now curious and teasing.
"Oh. Now I definitely need to know. What are you thinking about?”
Simon holds the phone away and growls into his pillow in frustration. He had the feeling he is pretty suave and cool in general but around Wille he always starts feeling so… so–
“Simmeeee,” Wille chuckles and Simon is almost ashamed at the speed with which he puts the phone back to his ear to hear those sweet chuckles better.
“Is it something embarrassing? Tell meeee, Simmeeeee.”
“You are so annoying!” Simon laughs despite the heat crawling up his neck.
You're not annoying. You're amazing.
“Simmeee–”
“So annoying! Such a dumbass!”
You're not a dumbass. You're my happy place.
Wille starts laughing loudly and Simon's heart skips a beat.
“I hate you,” he says way too softly.
I don't hate you. I lo–
STOP IT!
“I was thinking about our first time.”
It slips out, just like that. The truth. What is wrong with him?!
Wille's laughter stops almost immediately, replaced by a cough and then a gulping sound.
“So no,” Simon almost whispers. “Nothing embarrassing.”
The breathing on the other end of the line is definitely shaky now. Or is that the bad connection?
“You were…” Wille breathes and Simon lets his head roll to the side to bite into his pillow, desperate for a way to get some of this nervous energy sizzling through his whole body out of his system.
“Yeah,” he says curtly, hoping that Wille will quickly change the topic because once again Simon is drawing a blank. He isn't ready for them to stop talking, wants to keep Wille tied to him with the thin string of his voice, even though they are far apart right now. Even if he is feeling awkward and embarrassed and is sweating buckets over his slip of tongue.
“Wow,” Wille whispers and then clears his throat.
“I mean, that's– cool, it's cool… what exactly were you thinking about?” Wille's voice going from high and flustered to low and intrigued in the span of a few seconds gives Simon whiplash. It also makes blood rush south.
Is Wille asking him to… have phone sex right now? Is that it? He basically asked him for dirty talk, right? Right?!
His own breath is definitely coming out shaky now and Wille must hear it because he gulps again and keeps talking in that low, smooth voice.
“Was it a certain moment? That you were thinking about?”
Simon's breath hitches and he bites his lip when his dick twitches in his sweats. He turns over onto his stomach and lets out a little noise he prays Wille hasn't heard when his slowly hardening dick rubs against the mattress.
“No,” he breathes and now he is very sure it isn't the connection that causes Wille's breath to sound so irregular.
“I was thinking more about… the general feelings. What I was feeling that night.”
Wille audibly groans on his side of the phone and Simon's hips snap down on their own at the hotness of this sound.
“Felt so good. All of it,” Simon moans into his phone before it slips out of his loose grip. He fumbles for it and puts Wille on speaker to free his hands.
Wille's answering hum rings loudly in Simon's small bedroom and he prays he didn't forget to lock the door and also that the walls are thick enough for this.
“Me too. You felt so amazing,” Wille says softly and Simon feels the effect this voice has on him vibrating through his whole body.
A few seconds pass.
“Do you– I mean are you… are you touching yourself?” Wille stammers and Simon's hips grind down faster. “Or do you want to touch yourself?”
“Yeah,” Simon gasps and scrambles to turn and pull down his sweats as he settles back against the headboard.
“I'm so turned on.”
“Fuck, Simon,” Wille groans and Simon hears rustling sounds coming from his phone's speakers. He has never been to the castle and doesn't know what Wille's childhood bedroom looks like, so he imagines Wille in his dorm bed at Hillerska instead, pushing off the sheets and freeing his cock. The image alone makes Simon's dick harder.
“I–I’m, I'm stroking myself now,” Simon says shakily.
“Me too,” Wille moans back and Simon can hear it, can hear Wille working a hand on himself. It sounds slicker, wetter than Simon's jerk off session.
“Are– ah!” Simon gasps as he tightens his fingers around the tip, feeling precum gather under his palm.
“Are you using spit?”
“Lube,” Wille grounds out and it sounds like he's gritting his teeth.
“Lube?” Simon's heart skips a beat and his fist stutters around his erection. “You took it home?”
“Yeah,” Wille answers with a tremble in his voice. “Knew it would be hard to be without you for so long.”
God damn.
Wille can't stand not having sex with Simon for two weeks?!
Simon is sure he's never been this hard before.
“Are you imagining me?” he gasps and speeds up his strokes.
Wille only groans in response. A few seconds stretch on in which Simon listens to Wille's heavy breathing and the slick sounds of his hand. Slowly he raises his own free hand and brings it to his lips. Tentatively he closes his lips around a few fingers.
A moan rips from Simon's lips as another vivid memory flashes before his closed eyes.
Wille over him while he was down on his knees, Wille's cock hanging between them, getting closer. Simon's lips closing around the head.
Memory-Wille's moan morphs into present-Wille's and Simon is back in the moment, steadily leaking precum over his shaking fingers.
“Our first time,” Wille breaks the silence, “what was the best moment for you?”
Simon moans as he swirls his tongue around his digits one last time and pulls them out to give his answer. He doesn't even have to think about it.
“When I was riding you.”
Wille makes a weird noise and the slick sounds of his fist sound faster now.
Simon hastily spreads his legs – impatient in his arousal – and brings his hand down. His palm strokes over his balls, making himself moan before the wet fingers start circling his rim.
“Yeah,” Simon breathes. “Felt you so deep.”
“Simon, fuck!” Wille's voice sounds positively wrecked.
“You can't say stuff like that!”
“You asked!” Simon protests and it turns him on even more that even here and now, far apart and only connected through their voices he can affect Wille so easily.
“I didn't know it would feel like that,” he continues, a weird sense of power rushing through him knowing that his words make Wille so horny. “So full and warm and I felt so connected to you,” Simon moans as he pushes the first spit-slick finger in.
“You're so hot,” Wille fucking whines and Simon has a sudden urge to see him.
“Facetime?”
“Fuck yeah, wait a second.”
The call disconnects and Simon mourns the loss of Wille's noises for all of a second before Wille's contact photo lights up his phone again. Quickly Simon answers, holding the phone angled in a way that shows as much of his face and body as possible.
“Fuck, baby,” Wille moans at the sight and Simon feels very much the same.
Wille is sitting on a double bed, legs spread with his boxers pushed down to his ankles and his dick glistening wet from lube behind his big hand.
“So beautiful.”
Simon feels his neck heat up at the praise.
“You too,” Simon gasps and squeezes his eyes shut for a second as he pushes into himself. His dick is begging for attention but holding his phone up only leaves him with one free hand and he has priorities.
“Did I do it okay? The first time?” Wille's words make Simon's eyes snap open again to see Wille's intent gaze on his hole and the memory of Wille's lubed up fingers disappearing inside of him makes him moan out loud in arousal.
“Yes! Were so good,” his voice hitches with the movement of his finger. “G-gentle.”
Wille had fingered him so carefully and slowly. Had made Simon lose his mind from how good it felt to be steadily stretched open.
Neither of them had known what they were doing. But everything had turned out just right. When Wille eventually pushed in, both hands gripping Simon's thighs and spreading him wide, Simon had never felt happier.
It had been tight and wet and hot and so, so good. They had kissed clumsily, moaned into each other's mouths with every snap of Wille's hips. And eventually, with his hands tangled in Wille's hair and a shocked gasp, Simon had cum.
“I'm getting close,” Wille warns and Simon watches his toes curl and his legs start to shake as his hand speeds up on his dick.
“Me t-too,” Simon groans, pushing a second finger in alongside the first. He pistons them in and out desperately, stretching himself roughly in search of his prostate.
“S-so close.”
“Can we, aaahhh,” Wille moans as his hips twitch, “Together? Cum together?”
Simon clenches around his fingers with a gasp. Found the spot.
“Yes!” he grounds out as he feels his legs tremble and his abs contract in anticipation.
Almost there.
“Almost–” Wille gasps, his dark eyes boring into Simon's so intently as the both of them hurtle towards the edge.
“There!” Simon answers on a drawn-out moan, his loudest so far. His dick shoots thin strings of cum up his stomach. Wille's hand stills on his dick and with a violent shudder he falls over the edge too.
For a while they stare at each other, both panting heavily, while they try to come down from this high.
Simon's head feels hazy and seeing Wille like this, cum stains on his t-shirt, hair a mess and cheeks flushed, does something to him.
“I love you.”
It slips out, just like that. The truth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?
Fuck, he has to say something. Brush over it!
“I-I mean, have a nice Christmas–”
“I love you too.”
Time seems to stand still for a moment. Here Simon is lying in bed, sweaty and sated and emotional and also panicking slightly and suddenly all his worries evaporate. With only four words.
“Really?” Simon breathes out, the hand holding his phone up shaking slightly.
“So much.”
And just like that Simon feels on top of the world again. Invincible. Surprised giggles break out of him and Wille's lips slowly spread into a grin.
“I love you,” Simon repeats between giggles and faintly wonders for the umpteenth time what the fuck is wrong with him.
Wille chuckles too, a softness in his eyes that makes Simon want to kiss him so badly.
“I'm so happy,” Wille falls back against his sheets, a few more chuckles escaping him while Simon's own giggles subside and he looks so fucking happy right now. The happiest he has ever looked. And Simon wants him to look like this for the rest of his life.
“Wish you were here,” Simon whispers as he rolls onto his side and brings the phone closer to his face.
“Me too,” Wille whispers back and why are they suddenly whispering and why does it feel so good? So intimate?
“Want to kiss you.”
“Me too,” Wille whispers again.
“Facetime tomorrow too?”
“And every day for the rest of the break,” Simon breathes and he realises that these two weeks will feel much longer than usual. He's never wished for Christmas to go by as quickly as possible but lately he is experiencing a lot of firsts and this is another one of them.
“I love you,” Wille says softly and Simon can't get enough of looking at his face while he keeps saying these words.
“I love you,” he answers.
“I love you,” Wille grins and again Simon starts giggling.
“I love you.”
“I love you,” Wille's eyes crinkle with happiness.
They repeat the words over and over between them and laugh like little boys. Simon has never felt so full and warm and light at the same time.
Eventually their eyes start drooping and their voices turn sluggish.
“Good night Simon. I love you.”
Wille's face is smushed against his pillow and he looks two seconds away from falling asleep. Simon still doesn't want to hang up. He will stay on the phone until he falls asleep.
“Have a nice Christmas,” Simon smiles with his eyes closed.
And just a moment later, he is fast asleep.