Chapter Text
"So, Cas, are you going to homecoming with anyone?" Dean asked, twiddling with a pencil between his fingers. He and Cas were hanging out at Dean's home, working on a final paper for English class.
"No…Meg is going out with Anna and I didn't feel like being a third wheel." Cas replied with a laugh.
Dean let out a small laugh in agreement. "Yeah, Charlie is going with Dorothy, and Benny with Andrea…I wasn't gonna be a fifth wheel…" Dean sucked in a breath, looking on the floor. "We could…go together…if you want? As friends." Dean quickly added, wincing slightly. Of course Cas wouldn't want to go out with him.
Cas had looked up sharply at Dean, but his expression was soft. "Yeah, that sounds great, Dean."
Dean felt his face warm, his throat drying up. What was he thinking? He already was struggling daily with his feelings for Cas, it was gonna be torture if Cas was all dressed up…and what if they danced? He gonna be all sweaty, and…Dean's eyes widened as he felt the blood in his face move downward.
"I'll be…right back." He stuttered, swiftly getting up off the floor, rushing upstairs to his bathroom.
Cas titled his head, startled at Dean's sudden urgency. "You alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, peachy!" Dean shouted back, hoping his t-shirt was long enough to cover his hard on as he ran up the stairs.
Once he had his bathroom door closed, Dean took a deep breath. Did he just screw himself over? If just the thought of Cas in a tuxedo could get him all bothered with an achy erection, he'd probably come in his pants at the sight of his best friend dressed up!
He took steadying breaths, trying to think of anything other than Cas…
It took almost ten minutes but when Dean was no longer aroused, he exited the bathroom, only to walk straight into his best friend.
Oof!
"Cas!" Dean yelped, feeling his cheeks warm.
"I was just checking…are you alright, Dean?" Cas asked softly, his brows furrowed slightly.
"Yeah—yeah, I'm great!" Dean sucked in a breath, shifting around Cas to head back downstairs. "Now how about that calculus!"
* * *
Dean's heart was racing. He knew this was a bad idea. His hands couldn't work together as he tried and failed for the umpteenth time to tie his tie. He had on a pale blue button up with a darker navy blue suit, and a deep, satin blue, almost black necktie. He was already sweating and Cas was going to be here any minute.
"Need any help, Dean?" Dean's mom, Mary, called, her tone filled with amusement.
"Nah—no I'm fine—" Dean stammered only to let out a groan when his hands fumbled with the knot.
"Come here, boy." Dean's father, John, appeared, holding back his laughter.
Dean sulked over, tilting his head as his father fixed his tie.
"It's alright to be nervous, son." John said softly. "It's your last homecoming, you want it to be special, but there's nothing to stress about. You boys will have loads of fun, just relax." He said, smiling down at Dean.
Dean swallowed. His nerves were getting the better of him; his crush on his best friend was already making life hard, knowing his dad would probably hate him for being gay in the first place was about to send Dean into a panic.
Now was not the time to think about that! He thought, trying to breathe.
The three of them headed to walk down, Mary going on about trying to find the camera to take pictures when John discreetly pulled Dean to the side.
"Be safe, Dean." John said, handing something to Dean into the palm of his hand.
"Thanks, Dad—" Dean said, glancing at what was in his hand. Dean's face flushed red, his eyes wide as he quickly tucked the condom into his pocket. "Um…thanks, Dad…but I'm just going with Cas—"
"Yeah, Dean, I know, but it's always good to be safe."
Dean shot a bewildered look at his dad, but his dad just winked at him, and Dean didn't want to even entertain the idea that his dad might think he was going with Cas…as if Cas was his date.
Would his dad be okay with that?
The doorbell thankfully rang, and Dean quickly ran to the door, blushing at the sight that awaited him.
Cas was on his porch, dressed in a sharp green suit, his bowtie crooked around his neck.
"Hey—hey Cas."
"Hello, Dean."
The two stood there for a moment, until a sound came from the living room, bringing them back to the present.
"Well, come on in, Cas, we got to take some pictures!" John hollered, camera around his neck ready.
Dean let out a sheepish laugh, holding the door wider for Cas to walk in.
They took pictures quickly, Dean growing more and more worried that everyone in the room could tell how he felt about Cas.
The two made their way to Dean's car in comfortable silence, the awkwardness of the photo taking easing away.
* * *
The gym was stifling, the thumping music vibrating the walls. Dean and Cas had met up with some of their friends, though everyone had a dancing partner, they felt included during the group dancing, and when it was just couples dancing, Dean and Cas spent their time at the punch table. Dean felt like something was tense between them, but every time he glanced at Cas, Cas would smile, and Dean would feel at ease again.
Time moved quickly, Dean’s not sure how long they’d been at the dance when Cas had disappeared to the restroom, and Dean found himself dancing with Charlie and Dorothy. As the song shifted into a slower, romantic song, Dean felt a pang in his heart. He was alone…but he didn't have to be.
A noise broke Dean out of his spiraling thoughts.
"Hey, where's your date?" Benny had appeared, a knowing smile on his face.
"Uh…oh I don't have one?" Dean said.
"Isn't Cas your…?"
"Why does everyone think we're together?" Dean snapped.
But Benny wasn't deterred. "You guys are cute together."
"Well—we're—we're not together—" Dean stammered, feeling his face warm even more.
"Well you should be. He loves you. You love him. What's stopping you?" He didn't wait for an answer, walking off to find Andrea.
What was stopping him?
For some reason, whether it be the spiked punch, or the thumping music, Dean felt like he was in a dream; his mind foggy but with one goal in mind; he needed to tell Cas. He had nothing to lose. Cas loved him; clearly everyone seemed to think so, and Dean couldn't help but feel like he knew deep down that it was true.
Downing the remaining punch, Dean tossed the cup, standing on his tiptoes as he tried to look for Cas in the crowded gym.
"Hey have you seen Cas?" Dean asked Charlie, hoping his voice didn't waver as much as it had sounded.
"I think I saw him head down the hallway?"
Dean walked over to the hallway, the booming music immediately muffled as he entered the quiet hallway. He turned a corner, finding the bathrooms ahead. But after a quick peak, the bathrooms turning up empty, Dean turned back around to head back to the gym, when he heard a banging noise coming from a supply closet. Curious, and probably really stupid in hindsight, Dean walked over, opening the door to the closet.
Dean's eyes widened at the sight before him, a girl in a shiny black dress was pinning a guy up against the wall, her hands drifting along his body suggestively.
"Oh, shit, sorry—" Dean let out a laugh only for his face to fall as the girl swiftly turning around, her face red in embarrassment.
"Oh, hey Dean!" she giggled, stepping slightly away from the boy against the wall.
"Dean—" Cas yelped, his hands out in front of his, chest as if he was trying to push April off, but Dean couldn't get to that conclusion. All he saw was his best friend, the boy he was in love with, making out with the girl he swore he hated.
"Cas, I—" Dean's eyes welled up against his will, his lip trembling. He could swear he heard his own heart breaking. Biting his lip, he tried sucking in a breath, but it came in shakily, tears already spilling out as he took a step back.
"Dean—" Cas tried to walk towards him, his expression pained. But April held him, her hand on him tight.
"Let's find somewhere more private, Castiel." She whispered into his ear, smirking. "An empty classroom maybe?"
Cas ignored her, his eyes welling up as he looked at Dean. He tried to take a step forward, but Dean took a step back.
Dean felt his stomach twist, and in a flash he tuned on his heels sharply, running towards the exit.
"Dean!" Cas shouted behind but Dean didn't look back, making his way to the impala as quickly as he could. Dean's not sure how he was able to drive out of the parking lot and back home through his blurry vision, his breaths ragged and hitching every time he tried to suck in a breath, but he somehow made it home, his hands shaking as he parked Baby.
* * *
Dean had hoped he was lucky and everyone would have gone to bed, not bothering to wait up for him. He tried to take in some calming breaths before walking inside, but all he could was at least stop the tears…for now at least. He just wanted to curl up in bed, blast Metallica and forget everything.
Unfortunately that didn't come close to happening.
Firs thing Dean saw as he walked in the foyer was his dad, huddled up in his recliner, a book in hand.
"Oh, hey—hey Dad—" Dean stuttered wiping his face, hoping to a god he never believed in that his face wasn't has puffy and red as it felt.
"Hey Dean—Dean! What's wrong, what happened?" John looked up, clearly surprised to see Dean home so early.
"Nothing, nothing m'fine, Imma just go to bed—" Dean stammered, trying to turn away, but his dad was quicker, and had Dean cornered against a closet door.
"Dean, you look like you've been crying." John stated, his voice gentle but firm.
"M'fine." Dean tried to reassure his dad, smiling softly, but his lip trembled, and his eyes welled up.
"Dean."
Dean couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears immediately began falling again, his breathing hitching as he told his dad what happened.
"I—I was going…I caught Cas with April—" He sucked in breath, wiping his face as he swallowed. His brows furrowed as he tried to not look so upset in front of his dad, wanting to take this like a man, and not be a baby about it.
His dad's own brows furrowed in confusion. "Who's April?"
"Just some girl…she's obsessed with Cas—and I guess he—"
"Wait," John held up a hand. "Cas cheated on you with April? Imma kill him—"
"What—" Dean's eyes went wide. "No—no, Cas didn't cheat on me…we're not…" His brows furrowed as he eyed his dad, feeling his voice catch in his throat.
"Aren't you two together?" His dad asked, somehow looking even more confused.
"Wh-what—no, no we're not." Dean sputtered, his face flushing red. "I'm not…I'm not gay—" He spat out that last word, flinching at his own tone.
John's face faltered, looking bewildered. "Oh, Dean, I'm sorry—I thought—"
"You…you'd be okay with that?" Dean's voice cracked as he interrupted, his lip trembling as he stared at his dad.
John's face immediately shifted, his eyes soft as he eyed his son. "Of course, Dean. You're my son. I love you no matter who you love." He said slowly.
"You would?" Dean's lip trembled, tears streaming down his face as he sucked in a ragged breath.
"Oh, son." John stood up, pulling Dean into a tight hug, letting his son completely break apart in his arms. Dean's breathing grew more and more ragged, his sobs shaking him as he clutched his father.
The stairs creaked in front of them, John turning around as he held his son to see his wife coming down the steps.
"Dean, honey?" Mary whispered, her eyes blurry with sleep, her expression pained. "What happened?"
Dean couldn't answer, his eyes welling up as he glanced at his mom. His dad shushed him, hugging him tighter as John whispered something unintelligible to Mary.
Before Mary could respond, there was knock at the door startling the trio. Mary glanced through the peephole, her worried expression shifting slightly.
"Dean, honey, Cas is at the door."
Dean shook his head. "I don't want him to see me like this." He muttered, trying to break from his father to run upstairs.
"Oh, honey—" Mary started, only for John interrupt, holding Dean back from running off.
"Why don't you see what he wants? This could just be a misunderstanding."
"How—how could it be—"
"Dean…just…hear him out. Clearly he noticed you were upset, and he ran all this way here…" Mary said.
Dean took in a breath, wiping his eyes before nodding.
His parents hugged him tightly before giving him space, making their way into the kitchen.
Dean took in another breath before opening the door a crack.
"Dean?" Cas's eyes were puffy, his nose red, either from running or crying, Dean wasn't sure.
"What do you want, Cas?"
Cas looked taken aback, sucking in a breath before responding. "I…you left…upset, and I…I just want to say April dragged me in there, I—I barely had time to react before she was on me! I swear, I didn't want—" Cas blurted out, his eyes wild.
Dean wiped his eyes again, taking in a deep breath. "You…you aren't with her?" He dumbly said, his eyes glued to the ground.
Cas shook his head fervently. "No…no, Dean—I'm…well I'm actually gay, first of all—"
"You are?!" Dean exclaimed, taken aback.
Cas nodded. "Yeah…um I'm sorry I never told you…I didn't know how—"
"I'm gay too." Dean blurted out, his cheeks blushing. "I mean…yeah…me too."
Cas looked at him sheepishly, a slight smirk at his lips. "Yeah…I know…I mean—"
"What—what do you mean, 'you know'??" Dean's brows furrowed, opening the door wider now.
Cas looked guilty. "I mean…I didn't know for sure, but…you were pretty obsessed with Indiana Jones, and all things Harrison Ford…"
"Okay—okay." Dean cut him off, feeling embarrassed.
The two stood there for a moment, taking in everything.
"Um," Cas cleared his throat. "Is there a reason…me and April…upset you?" His voice was quiet, his eyes wavering as he looked at Dean and the ground.
Dean swallowed, looking back down at his feet. "I…I just was taken by surprise you know…you always hated her—"
"That's not—" Cas interrupted. "That's not what I'm asking Dean." He turned around on his feet, sucking in a breath. "Dean, I—Can we sit?"
"Oh…um okay—" Dean held the door open, letting Cas inside. Cas went directly to the living room off to the side, Dean following lamely behind, hoping his parents had gone back to bed, only for the light in the kitchen to make him think otherwise.
The two sat side by side, a tense silence filling the room, until Cas one again broke it, clearing his throat.
"Dean, I know you…have trouble talking about your…feelings," He started, licking his lips. "And so do I…at times."
Dean let out a huff. "Yeah, no shit."
Cas turned, facing Dean. "So what I'm about to say Dean, I don't want…I don't want you to panic.
Dean turned, facing him with his brows furrowed. "I wont panic, Cas."
Cas made a face, as if he didn't believe Dean. "I just…want you to know this—I need you to know this…I dont know…sometimes I think you already know…but…"
"Know what, Cas?"
Taking a breath, Cas spoke, his voice firm but quiet.
"I love you, Dean."
Dean felt his heart plummet to his stomach, do a somersault, and then jump back up to his throat. He felt his heartbeat skyrocket, silencing everything around him to a muddled mess. His eyes flickered from Cas's eyes to his lips and back, feeling as if his brain was making him hear things. Cas's mouth was moving, but Dean couldn't understand what he was saying.
"Um—what?" Dean stuttered.
Cas looked away, his jaw clenching. "I….I said…I love you, Dean."
A high pitch ring rang in Dean's ears.
"I—you what?" He stammered.
Cas huffed a breath, growing frustrated. "I love you, Dean."
Dean let out a laugh, running a hand through his hair. "You…you love me?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly.
Cas nodded hesitantly, eyeing Dean with a confused look.
"You love me?" Dean asked again.
"Yes, Dean…"
Dean broke into a smile, and without thinking, he jumped forward, slamming his lips against Cas's, resulting in a startled grunt from Cas.
The kiss lasted barely a second before Dean fell back, grinning wildly. "I love you too, Cas!" He yelped.
Cas's brows jumped up, his mouth agape. "You, you do?"
Dean nodded, caressing Cas's cheek with his hand. "I…I do." He let out a laugh. "That's—that why I was upset…I love you too."
This time, Cas broke into a wide grin, bringing his hands up to cup Dean's face. Dean melted in the hold, his eyes shinning brightly.
"Can we do that again, Dean? Properly?" Cas whispered, his breath hot against Dean's.
Dean bite his lip, nodding. The two met in the middle, their lips brushing up against each other in slow kiss.
Dean's eyes fluttered closed as the kiss deepened, Cas's hands threading through his hair as he brought him closer, chest to chest as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas.
Dean's ears were ringing, his heart beat rising as he held Cas. His eyes remained closed but he started getting a sense of light changing; the warm dimness of the living room shifting into something cooler…more industrial…
The faded smell that lingered in the living room, a comforting smell of apple and sugar was fading even more so, until it completely disappeared, a stale almost metallic smell replacing it.
The comforting warmth shifted into a blast of cold air from an industrial a/c, the soft plush fabric of the couch changing into something thicker…more like leather…
Dean felt his headache from the crying dissipate; his puffy and sore eyes ease away, his nose clear up as he sucked in a deep breath. Blinking open his eyes, he found that he was no longer hugging Cas, but a pillow, one that smelled faintly of the angel.
Dean bolted up right, his heart hammering in his chest. He looked around the room; he was in the bunker, in the 'Dean Cave', lying on the worn out recliner.
"Cas?" Dean called out, his voice rough with sleep. He felt silly, calling out for his best friend after having a dream where they kissed…but he suddenly felt…empty.
The dream was fading fast as Dean wandered the bunker but he had some faint memory of how he felt; how he felt seeing Cas all dressed up, his green suit opposite Dean's blue one...
How impossibly comforting it was to see his parents happy and supportive, something Dean thinks he'll never know for sure if they would've been...but hope all the same.
How he felt when he told Cas…and when they kissed for the first time…
It was so surreal…and yet mundane. Domestic.
Dean took in a shaky breath, feeling emotionally drained.
He walked around the bunker, finding it empty and silent. When he got to the kitchen, he glanced at his watch, and noticed it was just after 1 pm…as if that meant anything. He thought back to the last thing he remembered…he and Cas were having a movie night…and Sam and Eileen had joined…Dean must've fallen asleep, and they left him for whatever reason…so nothing to stress about, right?
And yet, Dean started to feel antsy. He needed to tell Cas. Tell him how he felt. He couldn't have parents who were alive and accepting. He couldn't have a homecoming, high school a long, distant memory.
But he could have Cas. Cas had told Dean he loved him…
Sucking in a breath, Dean pulled out his phone, thinking what to text Cas when there was a loud bang, the front door of the bunker opening up, voices drifting in.
Swallowing down his nerves, Dean walked over from the kitchen, peering up to see Eileen and Sam walking down the stairs, arms full of groceries, Cas just behind in the same predicament.
"Hey, look who's awake—" Eileen teased at Dean.
Dean waved his hands up in surrender. "You guys even try to wake me? I could've tagged along?"
Sam scoffed as he brushed past Dean. "Dude, we each tried to, you were out of it."
Cas was getting closer to Dean, his arms shaking slightly as he carried three bags.
"Here, Cas, let me help—"
"No it's alright—"
"No, I can—" Dean stammered, collecting the middle bag. Cas let out a sigh as the weight lessened, smiling at Dean shyly.
"Thank you, Dean."
"Yeah, of course….Cas." Dean whispered, not moving.
Cas tilted his head, looking at Dean confused. "Are you going to…let me through?" He asked, shifting on his feet as he was on the last step with Dean blocking his path.
"Cas…I—" Dean stuttered over his words, feeling frozen, his throat dry. "Iloveyoutoo." He blurted out, fast.
Cas blinked at him, startling back slightly, his mouth agape. "Um…what?"
"I…" Dean licked his lips. "I…" He breathed out his nose, setting down the bag at his feet, grabbing the bags out of Cas's hands and placing them haphazardly down. "I…" He tried again. "I…love you too, Cas."
Cas looked at him, bewildered. "You…too?"
Dean nodded. "I'm sorry I never said it back…with you coming back human…and everything with Chuck, and Jack…it just was a lot…but it's not now…we can…you and I…we can havethis…if…if you still want—"
Dean let out a gasp as Cas jumped into his arm, wrapping around his neck tightly as he crashed their lips together. He instinctivly wrapped his arms around Cas's back, holding him from falling off the step as Cas deepened the kiss. Dean let out a sigh, and then a giggle as he tried to breathe. Cas broke apart just an inch, still being held by Dean as his eyes flickered open. He was met with Dean's eyes shinning wet and brightly at him, his lips red. He smiled back, feeling his own eyes well up.
Taking a shaky breath, Cas slipped out of Dean's arms, keeping his arms around Dean. "Um…" He licked his lips, clearing his throat. "What…what brought this on?"
Dean bite his lip, his cheeks blushing. "Um…I had a dream…a rather mundane one but…"
Cas's head titled, intrigued. "A dream?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah…you, me…we were going to homecoming." Dean let out a laugh at the idea.
Cas's brows furrowed. "Homecoming?"
"Yeah…like a dance? Um, high schools host them…"
"Oh…like in Carrie?"
Dean gaped out him, before letting out a laugh, suddenly remembering that was the movie they had watched last night. "Yeah…but without the pigs blood and dead teens."
"I take it that wasn't in your dream, then?"
Dean laughed, shaking his head. "No, it wasn't."
"So…we were going to 'homecoming'?"
"Yeah…and well, I was going to tell you…that I love you, but you…you were with April—"
"April?!" Cas's brows furrowed, frowning. "The reaper?"
"Well, yeah, Cas, its pretty well known dreams are nonsensible and random—"
"Right, of course, continue."
"Yeah, and well…I cried…kinda an embarrassingly amount, not gonna lie…and my parents were there, and they…they were supportive which was nice, for once, and then you appeared and we…we talked…" Dean took in a breath, finding Cas's eyes.
"And then what?" Cas whispered.
"We…we told one another that…that we loved each other….and then we kissed…"
Cas hummed, grinning smugly. "So… like what we did just now?"
Dean let out a small laugh. "Yeah…"
Cas was fully smiling now, standing up on his tiptoes. "Well, I think we should kiss again."
Dean smirked, erasing the space between them without another word. The kiss immediately deepened, Cas licking his way into Dean's mouth with a flick of his tongue, humming into his mouth.
When Dean broke them apart to catch his breath, his lungs burning, both men were flustered.
"Bed." They said at the same time. Cas practically dragged Dean, hands clasped together as they walked swiftly towards Dean's bed.
In a fury of limbs, clothes were shucked off in tangles, noses bumping together as they kissed, nearly tripping over their feet and discarded shoes as they fell into bed. Cas crawled on top of Dean, his hands roaming the hunter's body as he kissed him hard, rocking his hips against Dean's.
Dean's hands fell to Cas's backside, trying to pull down his boxers at the same time trying to wiggle out of his own.
Somehow they got fully naked without injury, Cas coming back down to kiss Dean's lips, hooking his hand around Dean's thigh to lift his leg up. Dean bucked his hips, wrapping his legs around Cas's back, bringing their cocks together. Both men let out satiated gasps, their breath hot against each other's faces. Dean caressed Cas's cheek, thumbing his lip as Cas began to rock them together, his spit slicked hand wrapped around them. Dean held on tightly, rocking in tandem as Cas led the way, his lips finding their way to Dean's throat.
Cas continued to roll his hips as he drifted a hand further down, circling a finger around Dean's hole. Dean let out a breathy gasp, arching back as he tried to spread his legs wider. Cas slowly interested a finger, working his way in as Dean got used to it. Soon Dean was muttering under him, pleading for more.
Cas smirked, his lips along Dean's throat. He inserted a second, scissoring his fingers inside a Dean before hooking them up, brushing up against Dean's prostate.
Dean let out a shaky gasp as he felt his orgasm teeter the edge. "Fuck—Cas—I'm close—"
Cas hummed against him, picking up the pace. He shifted slightly, focusing on bringing Dean to the edge, his mouth sucking a mark along Dean's clavicle.
Dean had turned into an incoherent mess, his moans turning higher and higher as he felt pleasure pool between his legs.
"Imma cum—Cas!" Dean let out a breathy moan as his back arched, his nails digging into Cas's back; his cock spilled between them as Cas thrusted his fingers inside Dean.
Cas kissed Dean's parted lips as he rode his orgasm, moving along Dean's face as Dean slowly came back, his eyes blinking open in a satiated daze.
"Fuck—" Dean let out a raspy breath, grinning up at Cas.
"Good?" Cas whispered, his eyes shinning.
"Fucking perfect." Dean whispered, pulling Cas down in a kiss, only to flip them over.
Cas let out startled huff as Dean pushed his legs open, kissing his way down Cas's chest until he was face to face with his cock.
Cas watched with a transfixed gaze as Dean licked along the tip, his eyes on Cas as he swallowed around his cock. Cas sucked in a breath, his hands immediately threading through Dean's hair, holding him in place as he bobbed in his head, dragging his tongue up the shaft before licking around the head before sucking the tip. Dean sucked and licked, taking in as much as he could, moaning against him. Cas's breathing was turned ragged, his hips bucking slightly as he felt his cock pulse.
"Dean—I—" He let out a gasp as Dean swallowed more of his cock, sucking hard as Cas came. Spilling down his throat, Cas's head fell back against the pillow as he rode his orgasm, Dean swallowing as he did so.
As his orgasm began to ebb and slow, Cas smiled lazily as Dean made his way back up, kissing softly along his body until they were face to face again.
Cas cupped Dean's cheek, brushing away a drop of sweat as he leaned up to capture his lips in a gentle kiss.
Dean hummed, grinning into the kiss. The two laid in each other's arms, their bodies growing sticky by the minute, but with no energy to move. Cas hummed as he tasted himself on Dean's tongue, threading his hands through his hair when aloud knock jolted them back to reality.
"Look, I'm really happy for you guys, but next time, put the frozen food away first!" Sam shouted behind the door, causing Dean and Cas to fall into a puddle of giggles.
~