Chapter Text
“.. Listen, you three. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but—“
These were never good words, especially when they were spoken by Dr. Cuddy.
“I need you to catch up on your clinic hours. While I understand that House keeps you busy.. The hospital needs to run smoothly.” Cuddy said sympathetically, leaning towards the trio while seated at her desk.
Foreman raised an eyebrow. “How many hours?” He asked dryly and without a hint of enthusiasm. Everyone who did clinic duty clocked out looking like they’d prefer to be comatose.
“Hours? Try days. House has been keeping you very busy. Convenient for you, but a pain for the rest of us at the hospital.” Cuddy paused, taking in the annoyed expression on Chase and Foreman’s faces. It took a moment to read Cameron’s expression. She was attempting to appear indifferent to be polite. “A week. Believe me, you’ll all live. Don’t look so down.”
There was a beat of silence… a week of clinic duty? Was that how they said ‘hell on earth’ where Cuddy was raised?
“A week of runny noses, rashes, and hypochondriacs?” The silence was broken by biting sarcasm. Chase ran a hand through his blonde hair. He did not look amused. “I was under the impression we were on a team that diagnoses dying people. Why are we—“
“Shush. You’re doing it.” Cuddy cut him off, her voice stern and authoritative. Her eyes glared through the three doctors’ souls. And at that moment, they all knew.
They were NOT getting out of this.
“If it helps you sleep at night, House won’t be needing you.” This time Cuddy’s voice was softer, more understanding. She didn’t want them to feel like people were wasting away while they made up for their avoided hours of weeding out drug seekers and chatting to paranoid parents.
“Hmm? Why?” Cameron asked, tilting her head slightly confused. Normally the group was forced to satisfy his every whim, almost all day every day. Cameron often genuinely wondered if he knew the difference between slaves and employees. But that was a talk for another time.
The door swung open at that moment. The familiar sound of a certain someone’s cane hitting the floor filled the room. The sound was rhythmic, slow, and awfully.. smug.
“Becaaauseee..” House spoke proudly, like he knew he was more well off than anyone here. “I’m going on a vacation. All inclusive. Dubai. How sick is that?”
… HUUUH?
“Wh- You what? Really?” Dr. Chase very quickly swivelled to face Dr. House, eyes wide. He was.. to say the least, astounded. And really jealous.
“Of course not, idiot!” House feigned an overdramatic sigh. “Are we sure this isn’t just a kangaroo in a lab coat? It would be easy to mistake one for our own wallaby, Chase.”
… A silence fell. A very awkward one at that. That checks out, of course he was kidding.
“I’ve got myself some new toys. 3 patients at a different hospital, all of them dying. Dying undiagnosed, might I add. My genius is needed in a different state.” He smirked, knowing he was leaving the team to lose their minds doing clinic duty. “Bye, losers!”
And with that he was gone.He had only entered just to gloat, and from Foreman’s obvious eye roll, it was easy to tell they all knew that. Typical. House digs a hole, throws them in it and runs off laughing.
Metaphorically.
Actually, he would totally do that. The only part of that that’s out of the picture is the ‘running off’ part. Maybe his disability had saved their asses from him actually throwing them in a hole.
Cuddy cleared her throat aggressively. She could’ve answered Cameron’s query on her own. And was House waiting outside for the right moment to come in and make it known he was going to have the time of his life? Well, it’s not like anyone else would be that ecstatic over dying people. But Gregory House likes a puzzle. Anyone who’s ever spoken to him will know that.
“Even the diagnosticians hospital he’s going to, named ‘Angel Mercy’ if I recall correctly, don’t have a clue what’s going on.” She said, as if explaining it more would stop the dread of clinic hours filling the hearts of Foreman, Chase, and Cameron. “I say you should be very glad he’s needed out of state.”
“Why would we be glad? I don’t want to deal with another person who thinks their rash is a result of alien abduction.” Foreman replied irritably with a rhetorical question. But he had a valid point. He knew damn well that everyone in that room has dealt with horrors. Foreman often found himself thinking of them and shuddering when he was supposed to be falling asleep.
“Because with him gone, our time won’t be as bad, right? He’s not here to screw with us.” Chase concluded, after thinking for a while.
“Yes, exactly.” Dr. Cuddy nodded. At least ONE of them saw a bright side, she thought. “Listen. I know you’d rather do anything else right now, but just get through the week and then you’ll be back to normal schedule. You’ll survive.”
“Barely.” Chase scoffed.
The team clearly weren’t at their happiest right now. Foreman was rubbing his temples, Chase was glaring at Cuddy with a ‘I-hate-my-job’ look in his eyes. Allison Cameron fidgeted with her fingers, racking her brains for a way to make the situation brighter.
“This isn’t all bad, right?” She smiled weakly at her colleagues. “I mean, we’re helping people.”
“Helping people who don’t need our help.” Foreman corrected. “There’s an absurd amount of people who can’t tell the difference between a freckle and a life threatening illness.”
“Lay off it. Maybe we’ll get some people who need medical attention, and we can do our good deed of the day and cure them.” Chase shot back, trying to see Cameron’s point of view to have a reason to oppose Foreman. Never in his life would he wanna side with him.
That’s probably something that needs to be worked on, but anywho..
“We would be doing much more good deeds if we had actual patients..” Foreman started, but was cut off by Cuddy.
“Why are you all still here? I suggest you go and enjoy the..” She checked her watch “Twenty or so minutes you have before the clinic opens up.”
Cameron opened her mouth to say something but ultimately decided to just leave with the other two. They may as well make use of their free time.
“And no hiding in radiology today, believe me, I will check!” Cuddy called after them. She knew they weren’t likely to but after working with House, it’s hard to let your guard down.
At least they had a bit before their very eventful Monday unfolded.