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Trinity learned three things very well at a too-young age.
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It really is important to stretch before and after strenuous activity or your body will regret it.
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Remember not to eat a big breakfast before doing 30 back handsprings.
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People with power over you can and will abuse it.
These things were drilled into her so hard it nearly killed her. And it did kill Riley.
So she learned her fucking lesson and she learned it well
When she woke up with a stomach ache on Monday, she assumed that she shouldn't have tried to use that milk in her cereal the night before. It was close to its expiration date but she’d been too tired to care.
Well she could handle a little indigestion.
She forced down some saltines and rolled her shoulders
She's dealt with worse. Hell she had done literal back flips with worse.
Whittaker was out of the state in fucking Nebraska. Trinity refused to call him to complain, all he would do is worry and he was already plenty stressed about trying to visit his family for the first time in years. She simply sent him memes from time to time, hopefully providing some distraction If it was as bad as she expected it to be.
So she was on her own with nobody to fret over her and she was fine.
She was just fine.
At work she was still fine. A little queasy but fine.
Mel asked her twice if she was ok and she mumbled something about period cramps.
But it's fine.
The next morning she wakes up and the pain feels sharper.
It pulses when she moves and part of her notes the pain is around her belly button. It could still be indigestion.
She nearly pukes at the thought of eating so she just heads to work. By the time she's arrived the pain has moved. RLQ, she notes absently and the pain comes in waves.
"Hey Trinity," Mel greets her as she too is coming in for the day shift. Trinity just nods, finding it difficult to summon more than that as she heads to the boards.
"You look like crap kid," Dana tells her, from her desk.
"Thank you Dana, I didn't ask."
"You can ask for a day off, you know."
"I'm fine."
And she is fine.
She works in chairs for awhile, it's soothing in a way.
The motions are repetitive.
The pain reaches a peak and she considers going to a different ER when her shift is over. It's not that she thinks the Pitt would treat her poorly but something about handing herself over entirely doesn't sit well.
For a time the pain subsides and she wonders if the Ibuprofen she took an hour ago finally kicked in.
Then the pain is back and twice as bad. She's called in to a bike accident case and she feels a bit like she's floating outside of her body.
Mel is there again and she's asking if Trinity is ok.
Trinity thinks she says something back but she's not sure. Dr. Robby and Dr. Langdon are in the room and she's sweating.
"Dr. Santos, you're shaking." She thinks Mel said it and she looks down to see her normally steady hands quaking, she's holding a needle and forceps and she doesn't remember picking them up.
And looking down throws off her equilibrium entirely.
She manages to look back at Mel as the world flips on its axis. The needle and forceps leave her hands. (She thinks someone must have grabbed them which is nice, she would hate to stab herself.) She feels herself hit the floor and her awareness fades.
"Shit!" Somebody says and suddenly there are hands on her and she can't do this here. She can't.
Once Mel got to watch Knives Out on a rare night when she was allowed to pick something that wasn't Elf.
Becca didn't like it, but there's a scene where the detective in that film says the mystery 'makes no sense. But it compells him.' Mel thought that was a useful way to put something. She doesn't like everything but certain things, and certain people, compell her.
Trinity is a confounding individual. Her responses to people and events are not always predictable but they are interesting. When Mel's been on the receiving end of a harsh comment it rarely feels like it's actually about her.
Once Trinity came in late looking like she hadn't slept and Mel commented that she looked tired and Trinity shot her a look.
"You know you're annoyingly honest sometimes."
Mel wasn't sure how to take that. She'd been called difficult a myriad of different ways and sometimes annoying. But being honest is a good thing to be.
So she smiled and said 'thank you' and after a pause and a blink Trinity smiled back with a crooked edge and said 'you're welcome.'
Since then, occasionally Trinity will say something dry and sardonic and then glance at her and tell her if it was a joke or not. Which Mel finds genuinely useful. Sarcasm is hard to read sometimes.
All of this is to say, when Trinity came in Mel's eyes were drawn to her instantly and she looked pale.
"Are you okay?" She asked, stepping up beside her to to look at the boards.
"Just fine, sunshine," Trinity sighed before stepping away. Mel watched her go for a moment, knowing she couldn't force the issue. So she sighed and headed for the kid with the chipped tooth in room 2.
Eventually Trinity was called in with her, Langdon, and Robby.
A gnarly bike accident with gashes to be sutured and a lot of debris that needed to be removed while Langdon and Robby took care of the concussion.
Trinity came in looking almost grey. Sweat stood out on her forehead and Mel found herself glancing at their attendings who didn't seem to observe her, they were discussing the patient's cranial hematoma.
Mel kept looking between them, waiting for them to notice. Robby asked Mel to remove the debris and Trinity to stitch up the gashes. He didn't really look at either of them, something about the patients condition had his full attention.
Trinity had moved to the needle and forceps but her hands were visibly trembling.
"Dr. Santos, you're shaking," she murmurs and she can feel the exact moment the two older men snap their attention on them. Trinity looks down at her hands and sways.
Mel couldn't say how she managed to get the sharp implements out of her hands and on the tray, but Trinity drops like a stone and Mel isn't able to catch her.
"Shit" she hears Frank swearing behind her but she's on her knees beside Trinity checking her pulse and temperature. Both feel too high.
"Fever and she's tachy," she says automatically as she remembers seeing Trinity pressing a hand to her stomach this morning. So she palpitates the abdomen and the right lower quadrant causes Trinity to let out a gutteral noise.
"I'm sorry," Mel murmurs but Trinity's eyes are open now and fever glazed as she tries to push herself away from Mel.
"Don't touch me," she mumbles, "don't fucking touch me."
Mel never thought she would see Trinity looking like this. Cornered and ready to bite.
"I'm really sorry, but I think something's wrong," Mel says, keeping her hands to herself.
Behind her, she hears Frank say, in a voice that sounds like he's about to ask her to present a case, "Santos…"
"Stay the fuck away from me," it's a snarl but she grabs Mel's wrist as she stares past her. A glance back at the two men hovering uncertainly behind her, shows two extremes. One of shock and one of concern.
Mel's not even sure if the hand on her wrist is there to ask for help or keep her away.
Trinity's grip is too tight, but Mel can feel her trembling. She glances between them, seeing Frank opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Dr Robby just looks disappointed and Mel isn't sure which of them is the cause.
"Frank. Back to the patient. Now."
"Robby I never—"
"Doesn't matter. Patients come first."
Trinity's eyes track Langdon as he moves to do the sutures she couldn't, but she keeps glancing back at Mel, and back to Robby still hovering behind her.
"I can't do this here," Trinity breathes through her teeth. Then she looks at Mel and it feels uncomfortably like pleading, her grip on Mel's wrist is going to leave marks, when she says again, "I can't do this here."
"Dr. Santos, if you let us get you stabilized, I promise we can revisit where you get treated but if we wait much longer I don't think you'll have a choice." Robby speaks softly, even gently as he slowly kneels beside Mel.
Trinity's fever bright eyes still flick between them and the door. Like shes considering making a break for it.
She looks at Mel when she finally dips her chin in assent.
Robby sighs and glances down at the grip Trinity still has on her, a hint of a crooked smile.
"Ok, Dr. King, stay with her. I'll get us a gurney."
He leaves and Frank quietly works behind them. The silence suddenly feeling oppressive.
Trinity seems to notice her hold on Mel and lets go like she's been burned.
"I thought I could finish my shift and get checked out at Presby" she mutters.
"Why?" Mel asks.
Trinity smiles but it's bitter.
"It's not something you have to worry about."
Before she can clarify what that means, Robby's back with Samira, Matteo, and a gurney.
"Time to get up Dr. Santos."
"Pretty sure it's appendicitis," Mel whispers to Robby once Trinity is being wheeled to Central 6.
Robby grits his teeth, he saw the RLQ rebound tenderness and guarding, plus the fever.
What frustrates him is that he didn't notice until she collapsed. What frustrates him is that she seemed almost afraid of him and Frank. It was the pair of them she kept staring at as she insisted on not being treated here.
"She said she thought she could make it through her shift and go to Presby," Mel continues. Maybe she took his silence as a request for more information but it still made him clench his hands into fists knowing that one of his students didn't feel safe in his care, and even worse, he understood why.
When Frank left for rehab he did his best to keep being a mentor to her, but she was a difficult student sometimes unlike Whittaker, Javadi, or Dr. King herself. Trinity Santos' flaws came from a cocky, occasionally cavalier self assuredness that reminded him of Frank and did cause him to be sharp with her on more than one occasion.
Sharper than he ought to be.
And of course he vividly remembered the look on her face when Frank laid into her.
Of course Trinity Santos might not feel safe being treated by her teachers.
It hurt something in him to feel keenly in that moment how he had failed her, in a way Dr. Adamson never failed him.
all he could do right now was try and be better and make sure his student has a safe and swift recovery.
Trinity starts to lose track of things quicker than she would like. After they get her on the gurney, she floats.
But there are hands bringing her crashing down to earth. People touching her and she's not a kid anymore, she knows she's not there.
But the instinct is still there.
This would have been so much easier at fucking Presby.
Distantly she can hear a voice, almost too soft, telling them to 'be careful with her,' but the hands aren't listening.
"Don't fucking touch me," she hisses, trying to thrash away from the hands, and that hurts so fucking much she nearly blacks out.
What she doesn't see as the panic rises again, is that Samira had stopped and heard Mel. Looked at her with what should have been surprise but wasn't.
All Trinity knows is that there are voices telling her to calm down and it sounds too much like what he said. She hears raised voices, as she tries to flail away when one voice rings out over the rest.
"Everybody stop!"
It's Samira. Samira who is watching her with some kind of understanding she can't parse. But she speaks to Trinity directly.
"We still need to get you stabilized and check your appendix," she says, addressing Trinity directly.
"Do you remember the complications of a ruptured appendix?"
And this is easy, this is just medical school.
"Sepsis, Peritonitis, Abscess," she breathes it all out, like she's being tested. Just another day in the ER.
"Exactly," Samira says and its gentle.
"So right now we need to set up an IV, and draw some blood, then you're next for a CT scan."
Trinity hates that this makes sense.
She hates that there are tears running down her cheeks, utterly unbidden.
"I don't want people touching me," she grits out, and Samira nods like that makes perfect sense.
"I'm really sorry, we can try to be quick, but somebody has to. Is there one of us who would be easier?"
Trinity sighs, her body feels like it's full of glass and she just wants everything to stop. Mel is hovering just beside Samira, her hands twisting nervously. Mel who radiates softness and didn't say a word when Trinity grabbed her wrist.
She couldn't even say why she did it. She just needed an anchor in that moment and Mel let her.
"Mel," she says, and after a brief hesitation, she points as Samira, "You."
"Thank you," Samira says which is baffling and then she's ordering everyone else out.
"I'm just going to set up your IV," Mel murmurs.
"Ok," Trinity breathes.
Then she remembers and tries to sit back up which is a mistake.
"You guys need to call Whittaker. You have to — Fuck!" She really shouldn't have tried to sit up like that.
"I'll tell Dana," Samira says, gently pressing on her shoulder to get her to lie down.
"Is there anyone else you want us to call?"
Trinity wishes she was anywhere else as she shakes her head once, her mouth twisting.
"No…just Whittaker."
"Anything you want us to say?"
"Tell him he doesn't need to come home early. I'm fine."
Trinity doesn't put up a fight after that. Samira and Mel move at a careful pace, stating what they do before they do it.
Mel doesn't know what to feel in this moment other than relief that Samira listened. The ER moves at a quick pace by default but Mel had guessed Trinity's reservations were more than just those two men.
But she had never imagined Trinity looking so scared.
As they work now she keeps catching Samira's eye trying to say thank you with her gaze rather than saying something out loud that might upset Trinity. Although the morphine, saline, antibiotics, and fever reducers have definitely started to work she still watches them, her eyes half lidded.
When Robby enters for an update Samira asks Trinity's permission before presenting.
It's probably against some rules, he is their attending, but it keeps Trinity calm while they wait for the results of the CT and blood panel.
And the results are exactly as she suspected.
"Trinity it looks like you're appendix has ruptured. Probable peritonitis and sepsis, so you're next for surgery." Samira says.
"Fuck," Trinity mutters, "I didn't want this here," her words muddied by fever and morphine. There are tears running down her cheeks again but she doesn't seem to notice.
Mel opens her mouth, uncertain if she's about to say something very stupid or not.
"Would it help if I went in with you? Just to keep an eye on things while you're under?"
The look Trinity cuts her way feels like a spotlight. Like a sunburn.
But slowly, she nods.
So Mel stands beside her as she signs the forms, as Samira asks all the questions they have to ask.
Are you pregnant? No
Any drug use? No
When did you last eat? I don't know.
And on and on.
At some point Robby checks on them and Mel shuffles her feet awkwardly as she states, she'll be accompanying Trinity during her surgery. She glances back to see Trinity somehow managing to glare at the pair of them.
The look he gives her seems almost inscrutable, until there's that smile again.
"I'm guessing that's what the doctor ordered?" He asks softly.
It takes Mel a moment to get the joke before she nods.
"Good…good." he nods back.
"Good work."
And then he's gone. Behind her she can hear Trinity let out a long breath.
Almost like relief.
The next part comes in waves. She floats on a fevered sea. Drugs making pain a distant thing. Its still there, like a burning that's rising. But the morphine makes it so she doesn't care. Anytime other people step in the room she claws awareness back.
Mel and Samira have been good. Their hands never feeling like the hands she nightmares about.
But when it's clear they need to operate now the panic still flares up. Idiotic tears flowing because she spent so long being a puddle that she ran out of time. Part of her that sounds like a medical textbook isn't even surprised. The point when the pain stopped and redoubled is probably when her appendix ruptured.
Stupid, she thinks.
Then Mel offers to stay with her and she can't explain why it helps. But now she's standing sentinel beside Trinity. As she fades in and out, she keeps checking to see if Mel's still there and she sees that soft looking braid, those nervous hands and it calms something in her a little.
As they wheel her into the OR she listens for her voice. It's almost too quiet but she's asking Garcia questions about the procedure.
And that's good, Trinity thinks as she drifts again.
Mel feels foolish, trailing behind the surgical team. But she sees Trinity looking for her and waves to catch her eyes. Instantly she seems to calm down and Mel tells herself she's there for a reason even if she barely understands it.
She asks Dr. Garcia questions about how a full appendectomy works, what areas need to be irrigated and checked for any abscesses.
Everything seems fine until they're in the OR. They're marking the entry point on her abdomen and talking numbers for anesthesia and she hears Trinity starting to murmur, "no, no, no, no,"
She's starting to struggle and she can hear Garcia call out something terse about keeping her still, and without even thinking, Mel moves to stand beside her.
"Trinity, hey, it's ok."
Trinity's hand flails towards her and she grabs it without thinking.
"I'm right here. I'll watch over you the whole time."
Trinity is watching her, chest heaving, as a technician slides on the oxygen mask. Tears leak down her cheeks but she never looks away from Mel.
"It's my turn now okay? You can take over really soon okay?" She knows she's babbling but she's terrified of what might happen if she starts to really struggle. Which is why she sees the exact moment her eyes close. Feels the moment her hand goes limp in Mel's grasp as and she turns to Dr. Garcia.
"Did you push the anesthetic already?"
"No…fuck,"
The machines start screaming and Mel is forced to step back and let the surgeons do their job and save Trinity's life.
In the staff lounge Frank paces while Robby stands there, arms folded.
"You know the only issues I ever had with Santos were purely professional."
"Yes I know that, and if she were in her right mind she might even know that but whatever guilt trip you're doing right now isn't useful."
"She was scared of me Robby. And you "
"I know that," Robby says with a sigh. He should have seen this coming. He should have done something about this rather than just assumed they could all go back to work after what happened.
"And you know how you fucked up with her on her first day here. But also, if you think that was entirely about you, you're a fucking idiot."
That stops Frank in his tracks.
"You know what a trauma response looks like Frank. Put your own feelings to the side until she's cogent enough to speak her mind. Maybe give her a few days to recover and then mend some fences."
Frank is still staring at him. Color rising in his cheeks one moment and then falling away as he seems to piece it all together.
It's that exact moment that Samira walks in looking harried and heading straight for the coffeemaker.
"Good job with Santos," he tells her and she stares at him, looking slightly puzzled.
"I just listened to Mel and followed trauma protocols," she says with a shrug.
"I think it was a little more than the usual trauma protocols," Robby tells her, trying not to sound like he's scolding because he's really not.
"Well normally we aren't treating a traumatized doctor in their own place of work. I extrapolated a little," she says, still nonchalant.
"I'm pretty sure, she was hoping to go to Presby," he muttered. Behind him, Frank huffed but Mohan simply softened a little and said, "that makes sense."
"She should have said something sooner than," Frank said and the look Mohan cut his way was sharper than Robby had ever seen on her.
"You know when you laid into her on that first day she was actually covering for my mistake?"
Robby didn't know that and judging from the look on his face, neither did Frank.
"I didn't ask her to, but I was the one who was wanted to stick with the Ativan and Keppra, while she figured out it was hyponatremia. And for some reason she decided to give me the credit."
Frank just gaped at her, while Robby found himself not actually being that surprised.
"She's not always great interpersonally and she's got some growing to do professionally but she's kinder than people give her credit for. So maybe cut her some slack if she wasn't making the best decisions with a fever of 102."
With that she takes her coffee and leaves.
The surgery was quick and efficient. Her vitals were stabilized and monitored as the offending organ was removed.
Things got dicey as they were cleaning out the remaining drainage and an abscess that had formed. She was septic and shocky when surgery started. They had to shock her once to get her back in rhythm.
Somehow Mel ended up scrubbing up and helping. Just holding one of the suction tubes to give Garcia a clear view of her work.
She vascillated between genuine medical curiosity at the procedure and a distant horror at this being the insides of the girl who held her hand in fear an hour ago.
When they finally closed her up, ordering more IV antibiotics and to keep her here for at least 48 hours, in case she had any post op complications, Mel let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
Garcia looked at her as she took off her gloves and said, "You did good. Tell her not to walk around with a belly full of poison again."
Mel nodded mutely as she got a pair of fresh gloves and followed Trinity to post op.
Consciousness came back slowly. Like swimming up from underwater. She heard the beeping of the monitor and somebody talking softly nearby.
"Yeah I'm sorry Becca, remember my friend Trinity? I told you about her…yeah her, she's really sick and she needs my help so I'll come when I can but…"
There's a pause.
"Yeah she needed a surgery to save her life and so I need to sit with her a bit longer. Maybe when she's up to it she can say hello. I know she appreciates it."
"Thank you Mel's sister," Trinity says, although her mouth is clumsy with the words but she's forcing her eyes open in time to see Mel jump up with a huge smile.
"Did you hear that? She just said thank you! …Yeah she did! I've got to go check on her now but I'll call you soon." She can even sort of hear a tinny reply as Mel stands by her bed.
"How are you feeling? Do you need water? Are you cold? I can get you some blankets? Should I go get Samira?"
Trinity huffs a laugh and then regrets it. She feels like she got hit by a truck.
"What time is it?"
"Oh um…I think it's around 10pm"
It takes a minute for the cogs to turn but their shift started at 7.
"Shouldn't you be at home?"
"I said I would stay until you woke up," she says like it's simple and obvious.
And Trinity remembers the hands and the panic and the tears and clinging onto Mel like a toddler. She swallows hard.
"Fuuuuuuck, that's embarrassing." She says.
"Why?" Mel asks, and Trinity sighs. Of course Mel wouldn't make it easy to just laugh this off.
"I fucking cried and shit."
"You were sick and you were scared. It's understandable."
"God I made a scene in front of half the ER and the surgical team fuck me."
"Trinity, you nearly died. Nobody is going to judge you for being scared."
That stops her.
She remembers that her appendix ruptured, and that there wasn't time to send her somewhere else.
And then she remembers grabbing Mel's hand before being pulled under.
They didn't even ask her to count.
Oh
"Shit," she mutters.
"Yeah," Mel echoes.
The silence that follows is heavy. Trinity shivers and Mel notices instantly.
"I'll get you a blanket,"
And she's out the door before Trinity can tell her to chill out.
The blanket is nice though.
She forgot about post-op chills. Mel brings her a cup of water as well which is good, she was thirsty.
That's the moment Samira pokes her head in.
"I'm glad to see you're doing better," she says and Trinity groans.
"Can we just never talk about this again?" She asks.
And Samira takes a step back, brows raised.
"Unfortunately not. You're staying with us for the next 48 hours."
"Ugh" Trinity groans. Privately she's not surprised. She feels like shit and she's pretty sure she must have gone into septic shock or nearly gotten there.
"Also Dennis is on his way, he'll be here tomorrow."
"I specifically told him not to do that."
"And you nearly died—"
"—Can people stop saying that?"
Samira just keeps talking over her.
"—And there's no way Robby would release you to go back to an empty apartment."
The thought of Dennis nervous and hovering makes her even more exhausted.
"I'll just say one last thing and then get out of your hair," Samira continues, utterly unperturbed, as she checks Trinity's chart.
"I just wanted to say, thank you. It means a lot that you trusted me like that."
Trinity covers her face with her hands which are still trembling. Fucking post-op jitters.
"You're welcome and whatever. Please forget it though."
Samira smiles, looking almost mischievous.
"I really won't. But I promise I won't give you a hard time about it until you're well enough to talk shit right back."
That actually makes Trinity drop her hands and stare.
"Fuck, alright then." She feels herself starting to actually smile for the first time in days.
Mel is watching the entire exchange with wide eyes. It's kind of cute and that's a whole thing Trinity is definitely not prepared to deal with.
"Also Robby's outside, probably waiting to give you a speech, but he's waiting for me to give him the okay."
"Fuck me," Trinity grumbles, "is everyone going to be weird now?"
"A little," Samira shrugs. "But I do think you should rest. Want me to tell him to fuck off?"
Trinity has never heard Samira swear this much and she's wondering if the girl is doing it on purpose to cheer her up.
She feels like such a fucking child.
"Please tell him to be normal tomorrow. I'm not having anymore…fucking…episodes."
Samira shakes her head ruefully.
"I'll tell him. And you take it easy, I hear that was a pretty intense surgery you had."
For some reason she looks at Mel who is twisting her hands in her lap. She waves an unsteady hand at Samira as she goes but Mel, for some reason seems almost anxious. Now, even more so as Trinity studies her. Her braid had gotten a little loose like she's been pulling at it. And she looks as exhausted as Trinity feels.
"Whatever you need to say, you should say it. It's late, I'm tired, and you're sister is waiting for you."
That gets the girls attention.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Just spit it out. You clearly need to."
Mel blushes a little but sits up straighter.
"I'm sorry for whatever happened to you that made you feel so scared," she says in a rush, it definitely feels like she was rehearsing this in her head for awhile.
"If you ever want to talk about it, I would be happy to listen—but also don't feel obligated I just—"
"I get it sunshine, really. I don't want to talk about it. With anybody, probably ever. It was a long time ago, and I'm fine now as long as no other organs start perforating on me at work, we're all good." She says it just as fast, laying it on maybe a little thick because she doesn't trust herself on morphine to be able to talk about this shit and be normal.
She barely feels normal when she doesn't feel like an elephant sat on her.
Mel just nods, taking it in stride, maybe she prepared for this response to. It wouldn't surprise her. She probably had a lot of time to think about this shit while Trinity slept.
"And I know Samira said it, but it means a lot that you trusted me. I wish I could have done more to make it easier for you."
"You did enough Mel, please don't—"
"No I should have said something sooner. I saw you weren't well. And I saw that you were scared and it took Samira for anybody to listen and you nearly died and I was scared because you asked me to watch over you and—" her voice breaks and Trinity can only flail her hand out knowing Mel will take it, and God help her, Mel does.
Her palm is soft and warm, and Trinity grips it tight.
"Mel, please don't do that. I made my own decisions and paid for them. And Samira was there to help, when I was off my head, but I heard you, it's not your fault other people didn't listen."
Mel just stares at her, wet brown eyes meeting her tired grey ones.
"Ok." Mel finally says and Trinity shakes their joined hands a little.
"Ok. Now go get your fucking sister. Tell her how cool you were today."
Mel sits there a moment, almost like she's considering, then she leans forward to whisper,
"I helped Garcia with suction while they irrigated the area and cleaned out an abscess,"
And Trinity laughs again and regrets it again.
"Hell yeah dude. Now fuck off and let me sleep."
"Okay…um…is it ok if I hug you before I go?"
Trinity is trying to be normal, she really doesn't want to cry in front of this girl anymore, but she can't say no to those eyes.
"Yeah…okay..."
Its a little awkward because she can't really sit up very well, but Mel just reaches down and clasps her around the shoulders like she's some precious thing, and fuck Trinity needs therapy.
But it's nice, Mel is warm and smells like apples.
"See you tomorrow," Mel whispers and Trinity just nods, not trusting herself enough to speak. Mel steps back and Trinity tries to just roll over like shes about to go to sleep but that doesn't work very well and so she's just lying on her back with her eyes closed, willing the moisture to stay in her eyes.
She hears the girls steps hesitate beside her bed.
"Good night Trinity," she says and then she's gone.
The next day Robby does read her for filth about not speaking up when she was ill.
And yet she can't help feeling that he holds back.
At the end of the shpiel he stands by the door and, very awkwardly, offers the following.
"If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm happy to listen. Or Kiara is always available to you as well."
She wrinkles her nose and to her immense surprise, he laughs.
"I had a feeling. Just remember if it's easier with people you don't know, or easier with women doctors we can put some notes down on your chart."
She tries very hard not to flinch at that.
"Am I that obvious?"
"Only a little," he says with that crooked smile, "I'm also very old and I've seen a lot of shit. So that was not my first rodeo."
She tries to smile at that but it feels wrong on her face. She doesn't want to think how many other traumatized women had to be manhandled to get the care they needed.
She's pretty sure he didn't mean that, but she's pretty fucked in the head and that's where she goes.
"Also at some point, Langdon is going to want to come and apologize to you for your first day."
She wishes she could melt into the floor.
"Does he have to? I don't plan on having any other medical emergencies at work."
"I'm afraid he has to." Robby says
And the following day Frank does come and apologize and it's so awkward neither of them can look at each other.
But he does seem sincere.
And hes never yelled at her like that since he got back.
So the panicked animal part of her notes that. She still doesn't like him, but she decides from now on maybe they can work together without it being super weird.
Dennis arrives later that day and he looks like he hadn't slept in a week. Clearly he spent the entire trip home panicking, even after he was told that she got out of surgery ok on a 12 hour layover in Denver.
("Why Denver?" She had asked. "It's always Denver" he told her, in a manner that seemed long suffering)
He swore up and down that she wasn't to lift a finger for the next week.
Not that she could if she tried. She was weak as a kitten and needed help to get up and use the bathroom.
Samira popped in to see her anytime she was taking a break.
Dana said she was visiting Trinity instead of taking her smoke breaks.
Princess and Pearlah told her all the latest gossip in Tagalog.
Mel sat with her any chance she got. Sometimes Trinity woke from a nap and Mel was sitting there taking notes on her phone about another case.
It was nice in a way she hadn't expected.
When she was released Mel was there along with Dennis to help her into a wheelchair and then into Trinity's car which Dennis was now driving.
Apparently the pair had worked something out with Robby so one of them was with her when the other was working. That means Becca came over a few times with Mel since she still had her sister to take care of.
And when Trinity told her not to bother and to just focus on her sister, Mel had straightened her shoulders and glared at her and told her to shut up.
So Trinity got to watch Elf a lot.
Or, really she saw bits of it. She was still sleeping a lot. But sometimes Becca would braid her hair and that was nice too.
After the first week, everyone collectively relaxed a little bit. But Mel still came over a lot. Once Dr. Robby came over, claiming he still made house calls sometimes.
It was nice.
Mostly it was overwhelming and she's pretty sure Mel told Dennis about her freakout because even he seems to be more careful with her. It would be maddening if it wasn't sort of adorable. Even in her current state she could never really be scared of Dennis. He just looked like a sad mouse.
She would have to figure out what the fuck to do about Mel, or more accurately about her brain short circuiting around Mel.
But that was a problem for another day.
Right now she was just focusing on healing and that was enough