Chapter Text
“And I… am… Iron Man.”
Those were supposed to be the last words of Tony Stark. His final, snappy comeback that would ever be uttered into existence. Five little words that were going to be the greatest middle finger insult to one giant, oversized purple alien named Thanos.
Except when he closed his eyes, he found himself wanting them to reopen.
Things did not become clear immediately; dying - or not dying but being in an incredibly traumatic event - tended to do that to a person and make their brains slower to process things. At first, there was simply nothing more than white light, so intense that any chance of opening said eyes was thwarted. He squeezed them shut again against the throbbing pain they were causing him.
After a moment to adjust to that, Tony tried again. This time, his eyes didn’t sting so much, and he was finally able to see. He found he was in the middle of a grassy field, and while it was rather warm, he was leaning comfortably in the shade of a tree. The sun was the culprit behind the blinding white light - it was glaring at him like some cop’s interrogation light, and the comparison irked him. He groaned, his body ever so slowly coming back to life as his brain remembered how to Human.
The left glove of his armor was gone. His face mask completely uncovered - no duh, he thought, for how else would the sun be trying to murder his corneas? - and a slight breeze made him aware of the pain on his face. The entire right side of his body and suit were… well, burnt toast felt like an apt description. His body was screaming at him; every fiber, muscle, joint, and tendon ached and throbbed.
It took several seconds for Tony to actually question his condition. The force of the blast from that snap and the resulting radiation should have been enough to kill him. His throat should have been damaged, and there was absolutely no way he should be awake to have this realization. Taking a closer look at his suit, he realized that the damage done was bad, but not astronomically so. Not bad enough that he couldn’t fix it. Yes, he was bleeding and sorer than the time he fell thousands of feet below a wormhole, but… not dead.
Yes, that was the key. Not dead.
Why was he not dead?
And why was that damned sun so bright anyway? It wasn’t that bad when the fight started.
“FRIDAY? Are you there?”
Yes, Boss.
A huge sigh of relief washed over him. At least his AI could help.
“What the hell is going on?”
There was a beat. I’m afraid I don’t understand. Can you be more specific?
He held back a growl. “Where am I? Where’s the rest of the team? Why am I alive?!”
His heart would surely crap out on him one of these days. The constant stress and high blood pressure were going to kill him. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t. He did just die, or so he thought, and here he was.
You are currently in the middle of Riverside Park, FRIDAY answered. None of the other Avengers are within the current perimeters of my scanner. As to why you are alive, that I cannot answer, except that you were brought into the world as an egg that was fertilized–
“Alright, alright, shut up, God!” Tony interrupted. “Please do not give me the birds and the bees talk ever again.” No time to ponder how his AI even knew what that was; he certainly hadn’t programmed that into her code. “Riverside Park, you said?” That he could handle. And yes, now that FRIDAY had said that, he could easily see the blue waters of the Hudson to his right. To the left, he caught sight of the freeway and New York’s ever-impressive skyline of buildings. Hadn’t he been at the compound upstate?
“You said none of the others are even close by?” he repeated, hoping for a fraction of a second that he’d somehow misheard her.
Correct. Their biometrics are not in range.
Now that was alarming. FRIDAY’s sensors were the most advanced that existed. “You’re sure it’s not a glitch? Some kind of error? The suit is damaged; something may have popped loose during the fight.”
There was another pause as FRIDAY began to perform a diagnostic check. The entire scan was finished eight seconds later.
I can confirm that the suit is 68.5% damaged, and that my systems are running precisely as they should.
Well, there went that idea of a loose wire.
Tony rubbed his eyes with his armor-less left hand, mindful of the few burns that were dotted across his face. So he was in the middle of nowhere, injured and with a damaged suit, and no one around to help.
“What is this, Tennessee all over again?” he mused aloud. “Is the Mandarin about to make some public announcement of his triumphant return? If he is, I suppose I should be grateful it isn’t wintertime and snowing.”
The AI thankfully chose not to respond.
He was alone except, of course, for the very random, ordinary citizens whom he caught glimpsing at him from a distance. He couldn’t fault them for the not-so-subtle whispers and glances towards him. It was a bit surprising, however, that no one tried to run up to him for a picture or autograph.
That sort of thing was becoming all the more common as the Avengers grew in popularity and were gaining the people’s favor.
“Riverside is… what, two or three miles away from my tower?”
Yes, Stark Tower is approximately 2.56 miles from your current location.
At last, the AI was giving him something useful. “Should be a fair walk. No sweat.” If he could actually stand up, which he hadn’t tried yet. He tensed his muscles as he braced himself to move. A sharp pain in his leg caught him off guard, causing Tony to fall back against the tree.
“Or, you know, maybe I’ll just sit here a little while longer.”
All at once, the other important questions began to flood his brain. Was Thanos really gone? Was anyone else hurt? Did anybody other than himself almost-not-really-die?
Memories of the battle flashed across his mind’s eye. Banner’s snap, the attack on the compound. The subsequent fight with every single ally, friend, acquaintance, and frienemy he’d ever known. Even some that he hadn’t yet gotten the chance to know well enough to categorize. And of course, Pepper… Morgan.
He had to call Pepper.
With a quick command to FRIDAY, he eagerly waited to hear her voice on the other end. He waited and waited for her to pick up. Instead, the only thing he heard was that the number cannot be connected as dialed. The confusion that had slowly been building in his veins turned quickly to fear. There was no reason Pepper should not have picked up the phone. Actually, there was no reason the phone could not be dialed at all.
Trying not to let the fear get to him, Tony instead dialed happy. But to his dismay, the same thing happened.
Just what the heck was going on?!
——-
Peter inhaled deeply, taking in the fresh air that he could get from his current altitude. The top of the Empire State Building gave him one of the best views of the city. It was also one of the only places where his senses were not being bombarded with sounds from backfiring cars, shouts of people yelling for taxis, street vendors trying to make a sale, or the smells that assaulted his nostrils from overfilled dumpsters.
It was, quite simply, one heck of a view.
He loved this city. Maybe he was biased because it was the only place he’d ever known, and nostalgia had a huge part in that. Even so. He was old enough and wise enough to know that other cities in the world were just as large, larger, and just all-around better. But none of those other cities had him.
They didn’t have Spider-Man.
His morning had been more on the slower, lazy side for once. The only reports he’d heard over his police scanner - the one currently in his suit mask - were minor fender-benders, a welfare check, and a noise complaint. No carjackings or armed robberies for once. On one hand, Peter was glad for the reprieve. Such moments were hard to come by, and so he learned to appreciate them. The problem became that every lull was preceded by some epic event of destruction or chaos, and knowing this made these duller moments hard to enjoy.
Even his own spidey senses had no way of knowing just what kind of trouble lay ahead.
“Dispatch to any units in the vicinity of Riverside Park, please respond."
The signal caught Peter’s attention, and he waited to hear more.
“Copy, unit 232.”
“Multiple calls of a 10-10 P in the park. Need an officer for 10-6. Location is on the Northern end.”
Peter frowned, watching his HUD as his programming began to translate the codes in real time. He’d had to memorize the most common ones when he’d first gotten his powers, and the number of mishaps he’d made in the beginning hadn’t exactly endeared him to any officers. He didn’t rely on that software as much anymore - hearing the codes on a daily basis for years helped - but it was nice for the more obscure incidents that didn’t happen as often.
“Unit 232 en route,” came the officer’s voice again. “Traffic is heavy, and I’m 12 minutes out. ETA unknown. Anything else to add?”
“Negative. Will tell you if that changes.”
“10-4.”
Peter knew 10-10 meant possible crime, even before his HUD told him as much. And the P meant a suspicious person. Dispatch wanted an officer nearby to investigate the claims. By the sound of it, the officer wouldn’t be able to reach the park for some time.
Well, good thing web-swinging wasn’t affected by traffic. This was exactly the kind of thing he loved to do: just be helpful. It didn’t always have to be on a world-class scale. Sometimes the biggest help was in doing the little things.
He stood from his perched position and stretched his arms over his head before diving headfirst off the edge. The rush of the air always made it hard to catch a breath, even with the mask, but the adrenaline rush never got hold.
While swinging, he decided to check in with Yuri and let her know of his plans. A few seconds later, her voice came through loud and clear.
“Hey, Spidey,” she said evenly - her usual greeting. “You’re not calling to tell me of some gigantic emergency right now, are you?”
“Good afternoon to you, too,” Peter smirked. “And no, why do you ask?”
“It’s just rare for you to call me while I’m not at work. You know, some of us do appreciate our paid time off and dislike being interrupted.”
Peter paused on a rooftop to facepalm. “Oh, right, I completely forgot! Sorry, Yuri, I’ll let you go.”
To his surprise, she gave a short laugh. “I'm going back tomorrow. You’re not exactly interrupting much anymore. Now what’s up?”
Peter returned to the air. “I was actually letting you know that I was going to check out the suspicious suspect call that came in a few minutes ago. Riverside Park.”
She hummed. “Yeah, I heard it over the scanner.”
“I thought you weren’t working til tomorrow?” he shot back with humor. He knew Yuri was always listening to her personal scanner even when off duty. “And you say I’m the one working too hard.”
“Shut up,” she replied, and Peter could feel her eyes rolling through the phone. “Still, the park is filled with innocents. I’m glad to hear you’ll be getting eyes on the situation.”
“Yeah, I’m nearly there,” he said as he shot a web out onto a tree limb, swinging himself into the branches. Now that he was in the area, he needed to figure out where to go next.
A quick glance around gave him his answer.
A middle-aged man was limping along the pathway below, half of his face covered in some kind of scarring or burns. A streak of blood trailed down from the man’s right eye to his chin. But all of that was nothing compared to the weird red and gold metal armor plating he seemed to be wearing. It was clearly damaged by… well, Peter had no idea what.
He didn’t even realize he’d gasped aloud until Yuri’s voice cut through his jumbled thoughts. “What is it? What’s happened? Is the guy really that bad?”
“Suspicious doesn’t begin to describe this, Yuri,” Peter began, his spider-sense buzzing just looking at the guy. “I didn’t miss the memo of some new supervillain, did I? Or even a new good guy? Because I feel like that’s what I’m looking at right now.”
“Tell me everything,” she demanded in her captain's voice. “Are there casualties? What kind of damage are we looking at?”
“That’s the weird part,” he admitted, and did his best to relay what he was seeing. Or rather, not seeing. “It’s just one guy. He isn’t attacking anyone. No one’s running for cover, screaming, nothing.” He paused a moment, using his HUD to zoom in closer. “He’s limping, and he’s got this metal armor that looks like it’s been through a jet engine. It’s like he was fighting something, but there haven't been any reports of the sort.”
“Scanner’s been boring today,” Yuri agreed. “What’s your suggestion?”
He shrugged, despite knowing she couldn’t see it. “I’m going to do the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man thing and talk to him.”
“Good luck.”
After all these years, Peter knew Yuri wasn’t as standoffish as she appeared, so he took the otherwise abrupt ending without a second thought.
Peter jumped down from the tree with ease and casually approached the man from behind. The buzz of his spider-sense only increased as he got closer, but still, there wasn’t that feeling of imminent danger. Just that something was wrong. He cleared his throat. “I hope you don’t mind me saying,” Peter started, “but I think you’ve gotten your calendars mixed up; costume parties are usually reserved for the fall when there's turkeys and pumpkin spice everywhere.”
The man jumped and turned around, clearly startled by Peter’s voice. Peter expected to be met with hostility and a weapon. A criminal who was prepared to do whatever it took to stay out of prison. But surprisingly, that didn’t happen. Instead, Peter could see the exact moment the strange man realized Spider-Man was standing in front of him. There was an exhale, a sudden rush of relief that appeared on his face.
“At last, a familiar face,” the guy spoke with a relaxed air. “And what’s with the giant white spider? Did you make that yourself?” He shook his head, as if he realized that he had been rambling. “Sorry, back on topic: Where is everybody?”
Stunned and confused, Peter was forced to re-evaluate his initial plans. Instead of trying to apprehend a hostile, he was now tasked with helping some lunatic get medical attention. How fun. He wasn’t a mental health expert by any means, but he knew enough to know that keeping the person calm was crucial.
“Uh… I did, yes. The spider. It was a suggestion from a friend. But more importantly, are you okay? Because if we’re being honest here, you look like you could use a hospital.”
The man waved him off. “I’m fine, we’ll get to that later. Where is everybody?”
Baby steps, Peter reminded himself. Try to get on the same page. “Um.. are you supposed to be meeting some friends or something?”
The question was supposed to get him talking, and, hopefully give Peter something to work with. The guy just tilted his head, looking annoyed.
“C’mom, kid, now’s not the time to be coy. I just fought a giant purple alien to bring half the population back, including you.”
There was a long pause. “Okaayy… I think you may have hit your head. Badly. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll call EMS to—“
“Peter, this is insane, I’ll just go to my tower and have Dr. Cho look me over, and then—“
“Woah woah woah, stop! Stop a second.” Peter held out both of his hands and, incredulous, he asked, “Did you just call me Peter?” That changed things.
“Yes, I did. I know, it’s not as common as “kid” but that is your name, Peter Parker. Unless that’s changed in the last five years, which I seriously doubt.”
Peter was glad that this mask covered his face, because he was sure his slack jaw was quite the sight. “How do you know that? Do we know each other…?” Peter frantically went through every major event of the last five years, looking for some clue as to who this guy was. He didn’t look familiar at all. Had he come to F.E.A.S.T in the past? The guy didn’t look homeless… and how did he know Peter was Spider-Man?!
While wracking his brain, Peter could see the man’s face begin to change. It was slight, but still noticeable. “Wait.” He held his hand up and pointed. “You’re not Peter Parker.”
“Uh, yes, I am?” Peter admitted, as much as he wanted to deny it. “I think I’d know myself, sir.”
“Cut the crap, Underoos. This isn’t funny anymore.”
Peter frowned and blinked once. “Did you just call me Underwear?”
There was a brief, awkward pause.
“Take off the mask.”
“What?”
“Right now. Take it off. No one else is around. Show me your face.”
There was desperation in the stranger’s eyes when he asked. Its intensity was the one thing that kept Peter from outright denying the request. The guy was confused and just trying to make sense of things. It wasn’t something he could help. Fleetingly, Peter was aware of how often situations like this ended badly with the police. Officers had very little training when it came to mental illness. If Spider-Man hadn’t come, there was a very good chance the man would have been killed.
Looking at it that way, it wasn’t a big deal to lift up his mask and show his face. So he did. It wasn’t like he had anything left to lose; the man knew his name.
The man looked at Peter, then swore under his breath. “You really aren’t him.”
“I am Peter Parker. I’d show you my ID, but carrying that around kind of defeats the whole secret identity thing, don’t you think?”
“Why are you dressed like Spider-Man?”
“Because I am– did you not see me swinging around here just a moment ago? Look,” and Peter shot some webbing at the closest tree - the same one that he’d been hanging out in just moments ago - harmlessly showcasing his abilities. “See? Spider-Man.”
The news began to sink in, and the man began to shake his head and pace back and forth. “This… this isn’t right. You’re not… I must have screwed up and… but I couldn’t have. You were there! I saw you, I mean, I saw him. I saw my Peter. You’re not my Peter Parker.”
“Sir, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. What do you mean I’m not your Peter?”
But instead of answering, Mr. Crazy just asked another question. “FRIDAY, search the web. What’s today’s date?”
“Who is Fri-”
It is currently July 11, 2023
“This makes no sense! This– did I…?”
Boss, the voice– Friday– interrupted, I may have an explanation. Considering the power of the stones and the unique abilities of each, I believe you have landed in a parallel universe.
The man looked as if he were about to have an aneurysm; he was so tense. “Oh…”
“The multiverse is real?” Peter found himself asking, but still not quite believing it. The man couldn’t answer, falling forward to his knees. Peter was quick to follow him.
“Sir, what’s your name?”
Dazed, he still managed to respond, “Tony.”
“Okay. Breathe slower for me, Tony. Can you do that?”
Tony nodded, and Peter began to talk him down. It only took a moment for Tony to get a grip on himself again. Peter assumed that the embarrassment of having a panic attack in public - and in front of a stranger, no less - was enough to snap him out of it.
“What the hell,” Tony shrugged, seemingly talking to himself. “I’ve been to space, fought multiple aliens, met a talking raccoon. Why should this surprise me?”
“Just so we’re clear,” Peter started, “you’re not some new supervillian, right? Because if you are, I’m going to have to inform the police captain, and she’s already kind of prickly on a good day.”
The half-confused, half-annoyed look Peter received was enough of an answer.
Up ahead, Peter could see two officers heading towards him and Tony. They would definitely lock the man up for insanity. “Look,” Peter explained, “obviously, you know me somehow. I’m not sure I’m following, to be honest, but if the police come and hear you, they’ll think you’re insane. More than likely, they’ll take you away and stick you in a psych ward. I don’t want that for you. I’m your best chance at that not happening. So, can I at least take you somewhere where we can talk and go from there? You have lots of questions, and so do I, but there are two officers heading this way, and I’d like to keep this as simple as possible, okay? What do you say?”
Tony didn’t respond verbally, but he did make a facial expression of defeat and agreement.
Figuring that that was as much as he was going to get, Peter nodded and, making sure his mask was still in place, jogged towards the two officers.
“Hey, no worries, boys, I got this one in hand. Just a little misunderstanding."
The pair glanced at one another. “You’re sure?” One of them asked.
“Yeah, of course. The guy’s homeless, but also totally harmless. I’m going to take him over to the F.E.A.S.T shelter nearby. No weapons, no evidence of any foul play.”
The pair seemed reluctant to leave, but the mention of no weapons appeared to calm them down. “And you’ll make sure he gets there and causes no problems?”
“C’mon, have I ever let you guys down like that? Actually, don’t answer that. But seriously, I can handle this guy. Go take it easy, grab a donut! You deserve it!” Peter even went as far as to pat one of the officers on the arm before backing away. “See you around!”
He turned and swung his arm around Tony, gently leading him away. “Just keep walking,” he whispered.
Tony did not look pleased to be led this way, but he didn’t put up any resistance. Peter waited until he could hear the officer reporting an all clear over the radio before relaxing and removing his arm. “Alright, now we’re in the clear.”
“Thank God, because if you were going to keep your arm around me like that, I was going to have to file a sexual harassment lawsuit.”
Peter snorted. “Don’t take the friendly in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man that far.”