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Sometimes, Tim really hated not being able to say no to Alfred.
Falling back into his bed with a heavy sigh, Tim resisted the urge to scream into his pillow with how the holiday had already went. Alfred had insisted that everyone who could be home, make it home for Christmas, or whatever winter holiday they celebrated. It turned every winter into a week-long event full of damn good food and family time.
Normally, Tim would be down for that. He'd be the first to volunteer to deck the halls, sing whatever holiday songs he knew with Dick, and bully Bruce into a Santa hat. Playing Santa since he was fourteen had given him a lot of practise at the whole holiday cheer thing, especially when he was still trying to hide the fact that Santa was real but dead from his family. So yeah, normally Tim was all for it as long as he had Christmas Eve off to mourn his mother and then round up Young Justice for their most dreaded yearly tradition.
Normally.
However, this year was the first major holiday he'd have with Bernard. Thanksgiving had been a mess of family drama, the Dowds having reached out to Bernard to try and rebuild some bridges only to burn down the ashes too. Halloween had been a triple attack from Joker, Scarecrow, and Scarface, so there had been no time to see his boyfriend when it was all Bats and Birds on deck. Christmas and Hannukah were the first holidays that Tim had thought he'd have with his boyfriend, celebrating together, but then he'd gotten the call from Alfred, and no one could say no to Alfred.
He would have brought Bernard with him, but he'd seen how these family events were like when it came to significant others. Dick had terrorised Roy the entire night the one time he'd showed up with Jason, Lian being the only saving grace since Dick was too busy cooing over her to follow up on his threats of castration. Tim was not going to subject his loving, sane, normal boyfriend to his family's insanity (though it was debated how normal his boyfriend was, given all the things he knew).
Turning on his side, Tim slipped his phone from his pocket, a smile forming unbidden as he checked through the new messages Bernard had sent him. No matter what, no matter how far away they were from one another, the blonde always knew whenever Tim was in a mood.
MyManMiloT: Hey babe! Look what I made!
MyManMiloT: -sent a picture of Batman and Robin Gingerbread cookies-
MyManMiloT: You gonna be mad if I eat out Robin?
JimHawkinsHoe: As long as you don’t go for the fucking twelve year old eat your heart out
MyManMiloT:…I'm judging you for even thinking I was talking about the current Robin
JimHawkinsHoe: Which one were you talking about then?
MyManMiloT: The third one, obviously 😏
JimHawkinsHoe: Wow. I'm right fucking here
MyManMiloT: Don't worry baby, I'll eat you out any time you want me to
Resisting the urge to throw his phone across his room, Tim settled for holding it close to his chest as he tried to get his face back under control. It didn't matter that there were no lights on in his room, he could still almost see the heat radiating from his cheeks as his mind went blank. Sure, they'd fooled around a little bit together, hello, teenage boys. But that was new.
Biting his lip, Tim pulled his phone back up, watching as those three dots tormented him as he tried not to read too deeply into Bernard's message. It was probably just a little bit of fun, wordplay off of the cookies he'd made. Nothing for him to get worked up over.
MyManMiloT: Tim? Honey, you alright?
MyManMiloT: Sorry if I made you uncomfortable
And now he felt like an ass, even if he was warmed by the apology, as unnecessary as it was. But instead of typing out reassurances like he originally planned, Tim found curiosity guiding his fingers instead, flushing as he typed.
JimHawkinsHoe: …would you really?
Instantly, he wanted to take it back, delete it from the internet and scrub his phone clean. This wasn't something that he did, or at least, it wasn't something that they'd done together. Still, it was hard to ignore the heat growing in his stomach as he rubbed his feet together, nerves growing as he waited for Bernard's reply.
MyManMiloT: Baby there are so many things I want to do to you. Eating you out would be a fucking privilege and an honour 🫡
JimHawkinsHoe: Don't say things like that!
MyManMiloT: Why? I can hear you stressing from here. What's wrong with helping my beautiful boyfriend to relax??? 😏😏😏
JimHawkinsHoe: because it's not relaxing!!!
MyManMiloT: Damn, I'm not doing a good enough job then!
Biting back a groan, Tim rolled back over onto his back, letting the pillow absorb his sigh as he tried not to read too deeply into what Bernard was doing. He was at home, for crying out loud, surrounded by people who had no idea how privacy worked! No matter how tempting his boyfriend was, there was too much risk. Dick would be fucking horrified that 'his baby bird' was exploring sexually, Jason would laugh in his face, Cass would fucking hunt his boyfriend down to throw him off a building, and Tim fucking refused to corrupt Damian further. That boy deserved some peace in this life. Steph thankfully wasn't staying the night, having already headed back home, and Duke was visiting his parents last Tim checked, so at least he'd have peace from the peanut gallery.
None of them had locks on their doors, partly because of fire safety but primarily so that Bruce could check on them throughout the night to assuage his constant paranoia. But maybe there was a way Tim could make sure that Bruce wouldn't be opening his door?
Fuck, no, he wasn't doing this!
JimHawkinsHoe: the last thing I need is to scar my little brother.
MyManMiloT: I'm not saying you have to do anything. Just that it's an option if you want? You can also just listen to me ramble about all the things I wanna do one day and see if there's anything there you like or really don't.
MyManMiloT: If we do go further, I want to have talked with you before we do. I want to make sure your first time is good for you.
JimHawkinsHoe: you're incredible
And Tim meant that, as his heart warmed to match his cheeks. Sex had always been something in the back of his head that he never felt quite prepared enough for. Sure, it probably hadn't helped that he'd gone on a research binge at eight years old about STDs after watching Robin handing out condoms and dental dams to the girls that worked the street corners. He had wanted to know their importance, and got a lot more than he bargained for. It was vital information to have, but it had hovered in the back of his mind as a dangerous thing, and then, when he'd become Robin, it was DNA that could be used against him.
Steph hadn't exactly helped that apprehension back when they'd been dating; he'd seen the toll her pregnancy took on her, and the mental scars that came from having to give her daughter up because Steph didn't have the means to be a single mum at fifteen. Tim hadn't wanted to risk that with any of the girls he'd dated, or any of the girls who had looked at him and decided they wanted him. Steph herself hadn't understood why he didn't want to have sex with her, pushing until he snapped, resulting in one of their many breakups before they got back together again. She'd apologised, once they'd had a moment to actually talk about the ways they didn't work as a couple, that didn't result in a screaming match.
Then the Daughter of Archeron came along, and the less he thought of her, the better.
So the fact that Bernard wanted to have that conversation, without pushing when Tim said no? That was something he'd never had the chance to experience before.
And it was weirdly making him want to try? Maybe a little bit?
MyManMiloT: It's just decency and consent, babe. I shouldn't be incredible just for listening to what you're telling me.
JimHawkinsHoe: What would you like to do?
JimHawkinsHoe: To me?
JimHawkinsHoe: Fuck, sorry, I'm bad at this!
MyManMiloT: No such thing, baby.
MyManMiloT: Just so you know, if you do like the things that I'm saying, I give you my full consent to use my words to get you off. Just in case, had to say that.
JimHawkinsHoe: That something you want me to do?
MyManMiloT: I would love you to, but it's entirely your choice. I just want to make you feel good, but if this isn't something you want, then say something and I'll start sending you memes instead. Got it?
JimHawkinsHoe: I love you
MyManMiloT: I love you too, babe. You in a comfy place?
Instead of texting back, Tim switched to his camera, taking a quick selfie of himself in bed. He didn't look too tired, but he hadn't been able to stop the dumb grin on his face or hide the blush that was still burning his cheeks. Still, Bernard had seen him look a lot worse, so he didn't think twice about sending it on, chuckling to himself when Bernard instantly spammed their messages with heart eye emojis.
MyManMiloT: 😍😍😍😍😍
MyManMiloT: Fuck, it's unfair how beautiful you are.
MyManMiloT: I'm so sorry if this is too soon, but I cannot wait for a day when I can wake up to that face. I know we haven't really talked about that either, but the amount of happy juice my brain gets seeing you smile could set me up for eternity.
JimHawkinsHoe: You just forgot how to spell serotonin didn't you?
MyManMiloT: Shhhhh you don't need to point out my flaws!
Stifling another laugh, Tim tucked his phone against his chest before turning to look at the bottom of his door. There was only a sliver of light coming in from the hallway, Bruce keeping a light on for them all in case the nightmares became too much. Tim couldn't hear any footsteps, but he didn't want to be on edge just in case his family started moving around.
Pulling back his phone, Tim double-checked his chats before sending a text to Bruce, claiming he was taking sleeping pills tonight and would be setting traps by his door and window to keep his brothers out. Just to be sure that Bruce had passed on the message, Tim sent a few select pictures from his collection to anyone who might barge into his room unannounced, the unspoken threat settling between them all with the seriousness of a binding contract.
With his privacy secured, he popped back to his chat with his boyfriend, smiling when he saw the messages that had been collecting whilst Tim was threatening his family.
MyManMiloT: Maybe it's a good thing that we don't share a bed yet. I'd never want to leave it if I had you with me every night.
MyManMiloT: Tiring you out would be my new favourite hobby, second only to learning every little thing that you like.
MyManMiloT: God, I want to know every part of you. Want to trace every line, every curve and scar. I'd do it with my fingers first, just soft touches to see where you're the most sensitive, then I'd press kisses to every spot that will get you moaning. Bet you'd sound so sweet for me.
Almost unconsciously, Tim's free hand began to wander, picturing shining blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair above him as he slowly began to run his fingers over his skin. Reaching under his shirt and just picturing what it might be like. Trying to find those spots that Bernard wanted to explore, and nearly hissing when he found them, shivers erupting through him as he ran a finger over his hipbone. It was hypnotic, back and forth, a clenching in his gut that was foreign to him but still felt so fucking good. And that was just one spot.
Pulling himself from his hips, Tim tried to concentrate on Bernard's words as his hand wandered, focusing only on the feeling and the wanting that filled him whenever his boyfriend shared a little intimate fantasy.
MyManMiloT: I want to let you explore me too, guide you exactly where I want your hands. Want your marks too. Couldn't stop staring at that hickey you gave me. I want them all over me.
It had been an accident; too caught up in the moment, and well, Tim had always had a biting problem whenever he was high on a connection. His friends had gotten used to him biting their hands or shoulders whenever he was excited about something. But it had changed something in his brain chemistry to feel Bernard writhing beneath his teeth, moans splitting the air around them until Tim came back to himself in a dousing sense of sudden fear.
There was no fear now, one hand holding his phone close to his chest as the other trailed over scars and muscles. Pressing his head further into his pillow, Tim tried not to completely lose himself in the building heat simmering in his stomach, resisting the urge to reach down because he wanted to learn where to guide Bernard, too. He could picture it so clearly in his head, fingers gripping down on his skin as he pictured his boyfriend's arms, his abs, and his ass. Just because he was apprehensive around sex didn't mean he didn't have eyes. And Bernard's love of tight jeans had been a view he'd appreciated several times since.
He wanted to bite them, wanted to break the skin until it turned purple, until it was evident to any who saw him that Bernard was taken. It was the closest he could get to placing his beating heart into Bernard's hands, painting his skin with hickeys that proved how utterly infatuated Tim was with this boy.
MyManMiloT: Pretty sure I'd walk around with just those on display. Let everyone know how much of me you own.
MyManMiloT: Wanna spoil you though. Don't know if you'd like to top or bottom, but I'd be so down for either. As long as I get to suck you off at least once.
MyManMiloT: I know I said I'd love to eat you out, and I would! But whenever you wear that Tom Ford suit? I have to physically hold myself back from dropping to my knees right there.
Tim knew exactly the suit Bernard was talking about, and he nearly bit through his lip, holding back the groan from the mental image. It had struck him as odd how tongue-tied Bernard had gotten the one time he'd worn that sleek dark suit around the blonde. But now all he could picture was Bernard on his knees, that dumb, smug smile doing its best to hide the pure need in his blue eyes that would have gotten Tim to give him the whole damn world.
Not that Bernard had ever wanted the world, when he'd told him multiple times that Tim was his world.
How would that feel? Bernard's mouth, usually so quick with a retort, put to work around his cock. Would he go quick? Or take things slow? Savouring every moment as his fingers gripped Tim's thighs.
He couldn't resist any longer, following the path of his burning blood as he slipped his hand beneath his boxers, not at all surprised to feel his cock beginning to harden at the images dancing behind his eyes. Letting his mind take over, Tim ran his finger along the underside of his shaft, picturing his boyfriend's devilish tongue playing with him until he was shaking.
MyManMiloT: I bet you'd feel so good in my throat, filling me up so well. Fuck, sometimes I just want to crawl under your desk and sit there warming your cock until you finally snap and pay attention to me. I wonder how long you could hold out, how much you could focus on work when you could be fucking my face instead.
A whimper fell past his bitten lips as Tim squeezed his cock, picturing it all too clearly. His awareness had always been shit whenever he was sucked into something, but he'd never be able to concentrate if he had Bernard between his feet, throat massaging his cock until Tim gripped his hair and what? Fucked his face? Did he want that?
His cock twitched in his grasp, swelling just a bit more before Tim dropped his phone, reaching over to the bedside table to grab a bottle of lube that he'd bought in a surge of curiosity. Curiosity that hadn't been sated until now, squirting it into his palm and getting back into it, head twisting into his pillow to muffle his cry as the cold gel hit heated skin with an addicting glide.
Yeah, it was safe to say he wanted to at least try that, if Bernard was willing. Would Tim be willing to do the same?
Part of him wanted to try, but the larger part of him knew how difficult he found it to have things near his neck. He didn't want to think about the many attempts on his life when he was trying to pleasure his boyfriend. But maybe, one day, when the scars weren't so fresh, he could give it a go?
He already trusted Bernard with so much of his heart; Tim wanted to trust him with his body too.
MyManMiloT: God, I want to make you feel so good. Want to know how you taste. Though I know I'd look damn fucking good with your cum on my face.
Fuck, he couldn't just say things like that! Seriously, Tim knew Bernard was much more confident about sex than he was, but it did something to his brain to have such a vivid picture painted, and for once, to want it. For once, Tim was alight with curiosity instead of cowering away from intimacy, his hand slipping down to massage his balls and trying not to cum immediately at the mental image Bernard was conjuring up.
He'd never gotten hard this fast, never felt desire burn him with its intensity, but here he was, spread out in bed and nearly drowning in lust.
Panting softly, Tim tried to stifle any noises that were desperate to get out, and he wondered briefly how different this would feel when he didn't have to hold back his moans in case someone heard. Would he actually be loud in bed? It wasn't something he'd considered before, but something told him Bernard would love it if he were. His boyfriend was always so happy whenever Tim told him what was on his mind, using his damn voice for once to talk about everything going on in his life. Would he whisper filthy praise into his ear whilst Tim writhed beneath his lips, moans falling freely like they couldn't right now?
Or would Tim be the one whispering praise and love against Bernard's skin as his boyfriend took everything he could give him?
Fuck, he wanted both those worlds so badly.
MyManMiloT: I'm sure with your stamina, you could get it back up for me, too. Once I suck you off, I'd take the time to eat you out, get you hard from my tongue in your ass. You know I like a little pain, but do you? Would you grip my hair and keep me there if I bite your ass cheek? Give you a hickey that only you'd know about?
MyManMiloT: I know you like to be in control, baby, and I'd let you control every part of me. Whatever you wanted, I'd do, no matter what it is. But for your first time, I only want to show you how much I love you.
His phone was nearly slipping off his chest as Tim's hand sped up, leaving his balls alone as he began to jerk his shaft, letting the glide of his lube-slick palm break his mind as he imagined it was Bernard instead. Sure, he was curious about everything else, but right now, all he wanted was Bernard's soft palm against his flushed cock, flicking the head as pre-cum began to bead at his tip. He had wanted to taste Tim, right?
In his mind's eye, Tim imagined Bernard sucking his pre right off his thumb, smirking down at him whilst the blonde took his time savouring the taste. Then, he went back to stroking Tim's cock, squeezing down with just the right amount of pressure until he was leaking more, greedy for the taste of him.
His hand fell in sync with the image of his boyfriend, and the heat was building in his stomach, scorching him until his mind was ashes except for the memory of Bernard's eyes. They were the only thing grounding him to relating, and stopping his soul from soaring right out of his bones. And privately, in the corner of Tim's brain that was clinging to a higher power of brain function, was in quiet awe because if everything already felt this good when they weren't in the same house, how much better would it feel when Tim was actually pressed skin to skin with the love of his life?
How could it get better than this?
MyManMiloT: Would you let me make love to you, baby? Pull apart your seams until all you can think about is my eternal devotion to you. I'd take my time, lover, savour you exactly how you deserve to be. Gonna turn our bed into a temple just for me to worship you in, and I'll never want to leave.
MyManMiloT: Keep me right there, skin pressed to skin as my fingers rest in the dips between your ribs and my lips breathe life from yours. Keep me, Tim, and I'll never leave your body wanting ever again. God, I'm gonna take such good care of you, love.
Bernard had always known the right things to say to set Tim's nerves alight. Only now, there was no annoyance or badly hidden excitement. No, it was pure hedonistic exhilaration that coursed through him, his orgasm nearly taking him by surprise as his phone calttered to the floor. He couldn't concentrate, words swimming past his eyes as his cock pulsed against his palm, spilling sticky cum between his fingers and the fabric of his boxers that he hadn't even managed to take off before his boyfriend decided to blow out his brain.
His brain, his breath, hell, his back from arching out of blankets as the force of his orgasm slammed into him all at once; Bernard was good at wreaking them all. But as Tim panted into the night air, licking blood from lips he'd bitten through in an effort not to scream, he could give as good as he got.
With a giddy laugh, Tim scooped his phone up from the floor, ignoring the latest message as Bernard continued describing all the lovely things he wanted to do to Tim. Pulling up his camera, he pulled his cum sticky fingers up to his mouth, capturing only his blissful smile in the shot as he tentatively licked the cum from his fingertips.
Sending it off to Bernard with a barely audible snicker, Tim let himself collapse into bed, brain quiet for the first time that he could remember as he considered the salty taste now lingering on his tongue. It wasn't bad, but he was curious to see how different he tasted from Bernard.
Curiosity that could wait until his boyfriend's brain was back online, as their chat was taken over by melting emojis, Bernard clearly hadn't expected that little picture.
MyManMiloT: 🥵🥵🥵🫠🫠🫠
MyManMiloT: I'm fucking saving this picture. Fuck!
MyManMiloT: God, baby, you look so fucking good. You got a water bottle nearby?
MyManMiloT: You're going to be the death of me, and I won't even complain. Fucking choke me out with those thighs of yours whilst I suck your cock.
MyManMiloT: That's how I want to go. Take notes!
JimHawkinsHoe: you're ridiculous.
MyManMiloT: And you're hotter than the sun. What about it???
Chuckling to himself, Tim began to kick off his boxers, not wanting to leave the warm cocoon of his blankets but also not wanting to sit in his own spunk for any length of time. He hastily wiped off his hand until it was as clean as he could get without going to the bathroom, taking another picture for Bernard of the singular water bottle in a sea of energy drink cans on his nightstand.
His brain was still trying to reboot; words wouldn't flow, but Tim had always conveyed meaning through his photos. Though he'd need to go over their chat's security in the morning, just to make sure that none of his family ever saw that image.
MyManMiloT: Good boy, drink the water, not the liquid death. How are you feeling?
JimHawkinsHoe: sleepy. good. looking forward to being together soon again.
MyManMiloT: Just a few more days. I'll let you get to sleep, though. Lord knows you don't get enough, and I've got my own little situation here to take care of after seeing that picture.
JimHawkinsHoe: Send your own?
MyManMiloT: You know I will, babe. Don't want you feeling left out over there 😘
Smiling to himself, Tim shut his phone down, tossing it to the nightstand before spreading out in his bed, letting the feeling of relaxation seep through every muscle until he was looser than an overcooked noodle. He'd get a lovely present to wake up to in the morning, and ideas buzzing in his brain for potential avenues to explore.
Yeah, he might still not be ready for in-person sex.
But maybe next time, he could give Bernard a call and have his voice to guide his hands instead. Now, that's what Tim called a damn good plan.