Midnight Phenomena

by LyraStarstriker331

Summary:

Yosuke Hanamura was left wanting, but unable to act as the quiet town of Inaba drained him of his energy in its own, deafeningly loud way.

On the way home from a late shift at Junes, he throws a bone to fate, writing a wish on an ema and leaving it at the Tatsuhime Shrine. A simple prayer for something exciting to happen, and soon, before he died of boredom out in this country town where he knew next to nobody, and next to nobody wanted to know him.

It could’ve been anything, he wouldn’t have complained if it was something small like a celebrity passing through or a pop-up food stand he’d recognize from the city…

…so why was it that he woke up in a room not his own in a body that was not his?

Notes:

So, there is a constant with me and what I write: if I get emotionally attached to a pairing, I can and will make a body swap au for it.

Brain said do this one, despite having 9 other Souyo WIPs cooking, so uh yeah

Sorry for being self indulgent on main but this idea has me in a chokehold.

Chapter 1: Caution to the Wind

Sometimes, all you have to do is fake it. That’s all it would take to live a life without ruffling any feathers, drawing attention but not stepping into the spotlight.

Yosuke took a breath, looking at himself in the mirror again as he practiced his customer service smile. His expression kept bounding from that same, plastered on mask of positivity to the face that laid beneath it: tired and wanting for his shift to be over three minutes ago.

He could do it. It’s just another day at Junes, and every day was sooo great over here, so sang the commercials that he couldn’t escape even when he was off the clock.

Every day’s great… but also soul crushingly empty of any kind of thing to grasp onto to give him purpose. Nothing from the city, no sights to see, no arcades or even a gym… there really was nothing here for him. Ugh, boring…

He couldn’t keep in the sigh of exhaustion that slipped out, giving one last tired grin at his reflection before tying his work apron on and heading out to work.

That got Yosuke thinking, in between the humdrum of carrying out the same tasks of stocking shelves and tending to customers' needs if they couldn’t find something. Was Junes really all he had here…?

Was work he didn’t even choose all he had in this life? Just clocking in and out until he was gone?

Really…?

It wasn’t as though he hated the position his family was in. His dad worked hard to get where he was, and he couldn’t blame him for taking up the promotion.

If anything, Yosuke found himself bitter at the where, not the who, what or why.

He was so deep in that train of thought that he didn’t even notice the hours passing by like a light breeze, distracting him enough from checking the clock every now and then.

“Oh, Hana-chan! There you are.”

A glimmering star lit up the darker sky inside Yosuke’s mind and he turned around to see none other than Saki smiling at him. “Glad I found you, I need your help.”

This was the worst time for his heart to start fluttering, but the butterflies in his bloodstream were swarming in a rhythmic kaleidoscope despite his mental protests. “Oh, really? What’s up?” Thank god he didn’t say anything stupid this time… his cheeks didn’t even feel like they were burning as hot as the last time they spoke.

“My parents need some help at the store, so I was hoping you could cover my shift?”

Internally, the butterflies stalled in their flight, but Yosuke still managed to smile eagerly. “Oh, yeah! I’ve got your back, don’t worry!”

He could’ve sworn he saw Saki’s smile deepen a bit at his answer. “That’s good to hear. Sorry it’s so last minute though.”

“I-it’s no problem, really!” He wouldn’t complain about this, not if it meant helping Saki out… The saddening part was that she’d never know how much this meant to him. She’d never know, but he’d do anything for her.

“Thank you, Hana-chan. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah…” the kaleidoscope in his heart started fluttering again, faster this time, and even though he’d be working late, he didn’t mind this time around. He grinned brightly and gave a small wave. “I’ll see you then, Konishi-senpai.”

That smile, that confiding in him for something as simple as taking over a shift, carried him through the extra hours he spent cleaning up the food court amongst other things.

He loved her, he was sure, but she’d never know it.

They were friends, and that meant more to him than anything in the world. They were friends and that was enough for Yosuke…

‘Katsuragi-san and I never got this close even as friends, come to think of it…’

As he closed up shop and went on his bike ride home, a twinge of bitter confusion clawed its way back up into his subconscious. Junes was the only thing he had going for him, but at the same time, it wasn’t. Saki was here. She was here with him, despite just being coworkers, just friends…

Maybe that was what he needed. A friend, and something more. Something exciting, something thrilling to get him through the day to day.

How does one even do that…?

Yosuke stopped pedaling, briefly parking his bike with a surprising amount of skill, considering the last few times he crashed in... unflattering fashions. The torii of the Tatsuhime Shrine hung over him, bathed in the warm orange lighting of dusk, a calm spring breeze wafting through the air.

‘Hey, maybe I could just wish for my boredom to die…! Sounds ridiculous, but it’s worth a shot.’

He paid for an ema, sitting in the shrine garden for a good long while as many other wishes flooded his mind just as he wanted to write “I wish my boredom was cured.”

Wishes weren’t that simple. They were calls, pleas to the universe for something a person wanted but had too many paths to take — too many choices to make, with no idea which one led where.

You can’t find the path to your purpose without every part of the map in front of you, and Yosuke knew what many flavors of trouble traveling down a road he wasn’t familiar with got him into.

“Hmm, no… too vague.” He said to himself, tapping his head with a pen. Still, nothing written. No wish amongst the sea of wants in Yosuke’s mind was strong enough to breach the surface.

What did he really wish for…

He had a friend, he had his family, he even had someone he fell in love with.

So… what was missing was an adventure, the bustle, the many things to do…

The city.

Despite how much he tried to deny it, he missed the city. Taking a breath to compose himself, Yosuke wrote his deepest wish on the ema. He missed home…

“I wish I could be back in the city, just for a day.”

He hung it up with the other wishes, and rode back home in silence, collapsing on his bed and stewing in his own thoughts.

There was a lot to love about Inaba, but the quiet and isolation were the things that left Yosuke feeling a unique sense of numbness.

Not sad, not upset, just… empty.

As he drifted off to sleep, no dreams greeted him. No dreams. It was oddly fitting, poetic even. Inaba left him so understimulated and tired that he couldn't even dream of something to do in the boring day to day.

No matter what happened in Inaba, it would always be somewhat empty to Yosuke… and nothing could ever fill in that void unless he could miraculously go back to the city.

Inaba would never get exciting enough unless Yosuke could just simply go back to what was familiar, what was comfortable.

What was home.

Chapter 2: To Dream is to Indulge

Summary:

Yosuke wakes up not just in a different body, but in an apartment with nobody else around, a note on the kitchen counter, and too much time (and money) on his hands.

Nothing wrong with a little self indulgence if it's just a dream, right?

Notes:

Yosuke my beloved boyfailure aaaaAAAA

He has no idea.

Light streamed in through the window, blanketing him in a sunlight that, strangely, didn't feel as warm as the previous morning. Still, Yosuke couldn't complain, it probably wasn't that late. No worries, he was just catching up on the rest he was missing.

Besides, he'd been so exhausted from covering Saki's late shift, he deserved to sleep in at least a little bit. The rest and help for his friend he was able to do was well worth it, but he couldn't deny that something felt… strange.

He was still in bed, but he also didn't feel like he was touching solid ground. It was as if Yosuke's limbs were asleep, distant and unsettlingly numb as he woke up. Pins and needles was an understatement to explain the sensation— or lack thereof, that his half conscious mind was swallowed by.

When the sensation of simply existing returned to him, when he could finally feel that he was awake again, he practically bolted into an upright position. Something was wrong.

This… wasn't his body, he could tell right away.

"What the hell…"

At the sound his voice—no, someone else's, a hand rose to his throat as Yosuke's vision finally cleared up from the early morning drowsiness. He sounded… quieter, calmer almost, but that wasn't all. The moment all his senses truly went into overdrive, the whiplash was immediate.

Everything felt wrong, everything looked wrong! This room wasn't just not his own, but he didn't even recognize it!

Standing up and rushing over to the nearest mirror he could spot, Yosuke couldn't even think straight due to the panic gripping his mind.

His reflection showed a young man about his age, silver hair combed over almost cover his eyes, which were nearly the same shade of gray.

'I've gotta be dreaming right now… Yeah, yeah, I'm definitely still asleep.' Yosuke thought, his mind frantic now for a totally different reason. 'There's no way this is real!!'

Something like this only happened in movies, and trying to make sense of it would be nearly impossible, so there were two possibilities.

Option A: This wasn't real.

Option B: Magic really does exist and something weird really did happen.

Standing there in complete silence, the more likely option truly began to sink in and Yosuke grinned slightly, deciding that now was the perfect time to explore. What he was doing right now wasn't really happening in reality and he was almost painstakingly aware that he was still asleep, so… it couldn't hurt.

But first, he had to do something with his hair because damn it, he couldn't see much of anything with this cut.

Thankfully, the bathroom in the hall nearby had some hair clips he could use, and something else curious.

A yellow bandanna, one that he could've sworn he had cluttered in one of his dresser drawers. He couldn't quite remember where he'd gotten it, but the sight of it brought an unspoken, unexpected relief. He shoved it in his pocket, just in case what he was about to do ended in catastrophe.

Yosuke rarely, if ever, did anything fancy with his hair. It was hardly necessary. Brush through, then tousle it a bit, done. Except here? He needed to do something with it or else he'd have to wander around this dream not knowing where he was going.

He parted the bowl cut he'd woken up with just barely enough so it wouldn't cover his eyes anymore, then clipped them into place. With the one tousle he did afterwards, he almost looked like his normal self.

Key word being "almost".

'Not bad for a first attempt, I guess…?' Yosuke forced himself to smile at what was now the most scruffy looking attempt at making a bed head look presentable that he'd ever seen — which he'd made on accident.

The second hand embarrassment did not, however, last long enough for that to stick. There was more important things to do, mainly checking out this place.

The sunlight peaking in through the windows was distinctly bleaker, a gloomy air hanging in each room he entered, and he was almost reminded of the foggy days in Inaba.

Parting the curtains in the small apartment living room, he was met with concrete spires stretching into an equally gray sky like claws threatening to break out of the earth itself. The only splash of color in the monochromatic spring morning was the pulsating neon light of distant screens broadcasting news or advertisements that became white noise after a while.

Yosuke felt a strange, dwindling mix of emotions as he slowly closed the curtains again. The city… he wasn't really back, he was still asleep, but something tore at him. Something deep and jarring, something he couldn't define.

Why wasn't he as excited as he thought he'd be…?

The thought was strange… but, maybe it's because he hadn't been out there in a while.

Sighing, Yosuke looked back at the kitchen, his attention drawn like a magnet to a note set on the small, faux marble countertop.

Here's something to start you off. Don't waste it.

Sitting atop the note was roughly 45,000 yen.

His expression lit up as he pocketed the cash, knowing he was in for a great breakfast.

Yosuke took another look at his dream self in the mirror from before, the outfit he'd chosen a mix of dark gray and teal. Strangely, the sight sent a small wave of cold into his being, as if he'd melt into the gray sky outside from how gloomy things were, the ensemble combined with the weather almost made him tired. He didn't understand, was it not as bright and lively as he remembered…?

He shook the thought out of his mind and headed out, intent on having the best breakfast he could possibly find. He knew how important money was, but this wasn't real! Indulgence was the name of the game when nothing was actually happening, and what are dreams but excuses to dive deep into what wasn't possible?

The brightness of Tokyo mornings were always a gamble in spring, and it looked like Yosuke had lost this one. Maybe it was Inaba's weird weather patterns rubbing off on his subconscious. Hadn't the weather report said it would be foggy like this tomorrow, too?

The streets were crowded with the masses, the lack of space somewhat disorienting him when he first got put into the city. Office workers during the morning commute, students in a black and red uniform he didn't recognize… he missed the city, he missed home, but one thing he didn't miss was the crowded streets when you set off for something as simple as breakfast.

He spotted a place that he hadn't yet recognized, the smiley burger mascot smack dab in the restaurant's logo. Yosuke snickered.

"Big Bang Burger, huh… never heard of that one before." he said to himself, wondering if he should go in. "Shame they don't have breakfast…"

"Oh, I never considered that!"

"Gah!" Yosuke flinched and whipped around at the unfamiliar voice, still on high alert as a girl with fluffy auburn hair stood behind him. "Ah, um… huh?"

"Morning, Narukami-senpai! Stopping somewhere for breakfast, I'm guessing?"

Yosuke blinked, then pointed at himself in confusion. This just got really weird…

Keep it cool, Hanamura. It's just a dream, after all.

"Um… yeah.. You wouldn't happen to know any good spots for that, would you?"

"We don't have a breakfast menu, but…" The girl hummed in thought, then nodded. "There's a fruit stand that has some delicious sandwiches for about 1,500 yen. You'll know it when you see it, just look for the sign with a flower made of fruit."

Wasn't cough drops, but Yosuke's eyes practically shimmered at the fruit part. It was close enough! "Awesome, thanks! I owe you one!"

"Huh, I thought you didn't have much of a sweet tooth, Narukami-senpai?" She was staring at him in equal confusion, which he returned— because who on earth was 'Narukami' and why was his subconscious calling him that? "Ah, but I suppose you want to change things up today, though!"

"Huh…? What do you mean?"

She giggled, amused by his response for some reason. "You never do anything like this to your hair, that's all."

"Not my fault I can barely see if I didn't mess with it… I-I guess a little change is good though anyway, don't you think?"

"For sure." She looked away to check something on her phone, then turned back to face him. "Sorry, but I've gotta get going! See you later!"

"Hey, wai—"

Aaaaand she was gone, lost amongst the crowd before he could get her name. Great. Another fumble for Yosuke Hanamura, who's charm was in the negatives even in his dreams…

Regardless, he now had a perfect target for breakfast. He hoped they had something with strawberries, they were the perfect fruit to add to pretty much anything.

True to what that girl said, the fruit flower sign led him to a hole in the wall sandwich place that sold the most delicious looking sweet ones, and to Yosuke's ever growing delight — they had multiple varieties that included strawberry.

So, naturally, he bought one of each and mentally made a tier list of the strawberry sandwich selection as he walked through the city.

Yosuke ended up with five sandwiches. One just strawberry, another strawberry and grape, a third that added blueberries into the mix, the fourth had slices of candied lemon, and the fifth had banana slices arranged in such a way that it looked like a budding flower.

'Heheh, this is going to be great!'

By the third sandwich, it very much wasn't.

He could barely get halfway in before he got to the blueberries, their unexpected tartness causing every bite of sweet after that to taste wrong…

Yosuke glanced back at the sandwiches he had left, face twisting into a grimace at the thought of finishing them.

'Eh… that's fine. Not like I was looking forward to the other ones anyway…' he thought, believing that lying to himself would make the hole burned in his dream self's wallet feel less upsetting.

He decided to take the other sandwiches, if only to save them for later, and continued through the city until he came across something that Inaba would never have: an arcade.

Well, now he knew where he'd be spending all this extra time. It was honestly pretty great that his dream was letting him take it slow and enjoy it. If this is what they meant by lucid dreams, Yosuke would definitely be looking into how to cause it on purpose.

Time flew by as each game grabbed his attention one after the other. One moment he'd be spending token after token on a crane prize machine, the next he was intensely focused on a fighting game. Yosuke hadn't been to an arcade in so long, it was literally the best thing his dreams could offer him!

Now this was perfect!!

By the time he'd had his fill, the sky was painted a dark blue and he'd spent the exact same amount of yen on arcade tokens that he'd spent on sandwiches earlier, and he'd never admit it, but his eyes were starting to hurt, so Yosuke took that as a cue to head back.

Collapsing on the bed he woke up on, Yosuke smiled at the city skyline outside. It was clear, but you still couldn't see many stars, the fluorescent lighting of urban skyscrapers drowning them out in their neons.

Then, something strange happened…

There was that weird feeling again. The small, uneasy ache of something… missing, from the day he'd had. Why…?

Why was this spark he felt not as bright? Why was this yearning for the life he had before so… imbalanced?

What was missing…?

Ah.

That's right…

It wasn't real.

All this was just a wish from his subconscious.

Yosuke fell asleep late into the night, stricken by an overwhelming hollowness that this wasn't real.

This wasn't truly as indulgent of a dream as he'd thought, because when Yosuke woke up, he knew he'd still be in bed, shackled to the town that outcasted him by default.

In the end, he'd only ever dream of being back here.

There's no possible way he could ever return to the city in reality anyway.

This was all fake, after all.

Notes:

I’m sure this will only go well and have no consequences whatsoever, haha. Ha

Ha.

Chapter 3: That’s Not Like You

Summary:

Yosuke heads to school expecting nothing more than the usual, but has a LOT of questions when Chie and Yukiko poke fun at him ditching class… to go fishing?!

Notes:

Things just keep getting worse for him, don’t they?
Says me the author who enjoys making things worse for Yosuke.

The sound of rain was harder to wake up to than Yosuke thought, and the gray sky only made it worse. It was as if nature itself was trying to sing him a lullaby, but it came at the worst possible time. He still had school today, after all.

His mind was hazy, swimming in the storm clouds and muddling his memories to such a degree that, as he truly started to wake up, he couldn't remember just what it was that made him want to go back to sleep…

What was it…? He couldn't remember…

It was strange. Whenever he tried to recall what he dreamed of, he came up blank, but the vague feeling still lingered. Something was missing, he just couldn't get the name.

'It's probably nothing important.'

Yosuke stood up and stretched, feeling oddly refreshed despite the brain fog as he got ready for the day. Despite that, he still couldn't shake that certain something from his mind. The missing thing with no name kept bobbing back up to the surface of his thoughts like water, no matter how many 'nothings' he used to weigh it down until it stopped coming back to breathe and torment him so.

Ugh, how irritating…

A glimmer of something golden flickered across his peripheral vision just as he was about to leave, and all his momentum stilled as Yosuke slowly turned around.

'Oh, I nearly forgot this...!'

He didn't know why exactly he did this, but the yellow bandanna he'd tied around his neck as something of a good luck charm eased some of the nerves of unanswered questions still prickling at him.

The morning bike ride to school ended in what became typical of Yosuke: complete disaster.

It was still raining and he should've taken that alone as a warning to be cautious in his steering, but that was ridiculously hard to do one-handed… God forbid he try not to get soaked in the rain for once.

Disaster struck in the form of a trash can in the path of the shakiest possible cycling he'd done, a loud clang of metal against bike tire, and a shriek of panic as Yosuke fell forward and into it… head first.

Great…

Just when he thought he'd started the day off right.

Twenty minutes later, Yosuke slumped over in his desk and groaned, the pounding sensation clinging onto his mind in the worst way possible.

"You look dead today." came Chie's voice from in front of him, and Yosuke couldn't stop the tired groan from slipping out.

"I don't want to talk about it…"

"Oh, you're back to normal again…?" sounded another voice — Yukiko, accompanied by a light creak as she sat down to join them. "That's a relief. I was starting to think you might've gotten sick or something."

Yosuke lifted his head slightly, then his face tightened into mild irritation at the comment. She had to be messing with him, he was just asleep. He would've known if something was up. "What're you talking about?"

"Seriously?" Chie snickered, as if she were mildly entertained by his growing confusion. "You ditched class the entire day, Yosuke! How do you forget that?"

WHAT?! "Huh?!" That didn't make any sense!! He sat up, back straight and gaze sharp as he looked between the two girls with a slowly mounting terror that something happened — and everyone but him knew what did. "Y-You're joking. There's no way I would ev—"

"I didn't take you for the type to enjoy fishing either…" Yukiko added, somehow making his jaw drop even further than it had been already. "You must've really needed that nap too, huh?"

At this point, he didn't even have words, just turning his attention over to Chie with a dumbfounded expression. She shrugged.

"Yeah, you were out like a light by the Samegawa. We saw you just laying in the grass as we were walking home, and when Yukiko tried waking you up, you just mumbled about the sunlight being nice before drifting off again. Did you stay up late working or something?"

Okay. No more trying to stay calm about this. Something was very wrong.

"Well, I… did have to take over a shift for Saki-senpai, and that ran pretty late." Yosuke nervously admitted, not making eye contact on account of the million and one questions on his mind and not knowing where to even begin finding answers. "Speaking of, have you guys seen her at all today?"

Chie and Yukiko exchanged worried glances, then the latter of the two sighed. "She… wasn't at school yesterday, and I haven't seen her around today either."

"Oh… well, I hope she's alright.. she really seemed like she's overworking herself lately." He chuckled wryly, knowing that feeling all too well that it seeped into his very bones. "Next time I see her… I'm gonna tell her I'll be there to help with anything she might need."

If only someone else could help him by explaining what the hell happened yesterday that he apparently wasn't aware of…!

School was out before he'd even processed the first class, the things his classmates had said still sticking to his mind like splinters. He needed answers, but how could he possibly make sense of any of this if he didn't even know what to ask…

It was a stab in the dark, but maybe his notes from class could tell him something. He sat his main notebook down and flipped to the latest page.

"What the hell?!?"

Yosuke practically fell off his desk chair, heart racing in terror and breath caught in his throat.

"Yosuke? Are you alright?" Came a muffled voice from beyond his door. Crap, if his parents found this, he was screwed! How on earth do you explain this to the people in your life?!

"I-I'm fine, Dad!" He replied, just barely able to keep the fact that he wasn't fine out of his voice.

He slowly walked back over to his desk, looking over the cursed small notes written in an almost creepily perfect hand writing.

'Where is this place?! What is this life?!'

'I wish there was a spot this nice to rest back in Tokyo…'

'I think I quite like fishing. This peaceful existence in Inaba… I'd rather be here instead of the city.'

'I can't leave, I never will be allowed to leave… so I'll treasure this moment for as long as I can.'

That… did not sound like him at all.

A knot of confusion twisted itself into existence in Yosuke's stomach, more questions bubbling up as he looked himself once, turning into a second and third time. Was… was someone possessing him?!

He turned the page, finding the back of it blank. Readjusting his chair, Yosuke sat down and let the pencil guide him, writing out anything he could think of to ask whoever the hell had control over his body…for an entire day. God, the thought made him just as angry as it made him uncomfortable.

First off, who the heck are you?

Second, why are you doing this?

Third, what the hell did you do yesterday and hey, can you NOT?!

He groaned in annoyance, swiveling himself away from the desk as he stared at the black TV screen, the rain thumping hard against his window. What was going on…?

A small, fiery thought continued to burn in the back of Yosuke's mind, now overcrowded with growing wildfires of questions. 'All I want is the truth… is that too much to ask…?'

'Why, not at all… it's only natural to seek it out.'

Suddenly, a flood of pain crashed into his head as if he'd gotten slammed into the ground head first. He knew he was fine, but still… why now of all times to get a migraine?! Damn it, now was not the time, stupid body snatcher!!

"Get out…" Yosuke hissed through clenched teeth, stumbling over his desk chair and collapsing to his knees in front of his TV. "You hear me?! Get out of my head!!"

'You're scared.' The voice in his head spoke, unfazed by his threats. It sounded garbled, distorted… but somehow, still held fragments that sounded eerily exactly like himself. 'You're scared, but you know you can't leave any stone unturned. What else can you do in a town with nothing to offer you and nobody to vouch for you? Walk right past it with no interest in what lies beneath it? I am thou, thou art I… You know you want to. Go on, the door is waiting to be opened…'

"I said… GET OUT!!" He scrambled for anything to grab, anything to hold onto and ground himself again, and it ended up being his TV… which, thanks to Yosuke's typical brand of bad luck, he couldn't regain his footing as the pain intensified for a brief moment and he fell forwards, his head slipping through the screen as if it weren't solid.

That was NOT normal…!

He bolted back, losing his balance again as his head popped back out like it was nothing, falling back first on the ground.

"Oww…"

Yosuke wasn't sure how long it had been, how many minutes had passed him by without even the thought to move. So much had happened — too much, arguably, and the most irritating thing was that he couldn't even get an answer to the simplest question burning in his mind.

'Why…?'

He stood up, the impact from the fall to the ground, the migraine and that strange sensation exiting the TV still buzzing inside his skull. Yosuke walked over to his desk, grabbed his phone, then flipped from contact to contact until he reached Chie.

He needed help to find the truth with this, he needed backup, and well… he didn't see any other option. There was no chance in hell she'd believe him, so he'd have to show her.

"Hey, Chie…? Do you think you could stop by Junes' electronics department with me after school tomorrow? There's something… off, that I want you to see."

Chapter 4: Illusion of Choice, Facade of Home

Summary:

Yu Narukami awakes from a strange but pleasant dream, only to question the loss of 15,000 yen from his parents lendings to him and the existence of three almost criminally sweet sandwiches sitting in his fridge.

This was not normal.

Notes:

Now it’s Yu’s turn to not have a good time.

I am so sorry lol

Yu awoke slowly, his spirit dampening slightly at the lack of sun. Oh, what he'd give, to be woken up by warm rays of light. To be in a place where he could truly connect, truly find people who would know him — all of him, without fear or restraint. People who would stay with him…

A place like… like…

Huh…

That's strange.

The name for just that kind of community carving out a hole of yearning in his chest was just on the tip of Yu's tongue, but at the last second, it slipped away.

The lack of it left a melancholic, almost bitter taste in his mouth and he sat up, watching the clouds blanket the city he was shackled to in the same gray hues it almost always was.

'There's no point in dwelling on it now.'

He needed to get ready for the day, time waited for nobody, not even him.

As he walked out of his room, his eyes drifted to the note his parents had left him. This was supposed to get him through a month, but why did it look like there was less than…

Oh… oh no!

Yu frantically grabbed the money, flipping through the notes. "Three thousand, six, nine, twelve…" his heart dropped, slapping the notes back on top of the paper.

Fifteen.

Fifteen thousand yen… gone, just like that. No sign of a break in, nothing else was stolen.

Yu pulled out his phone, then called his mother, hoping against hope that she'd answer him. Please…

Please answer…

Click.

"Mother…!" Yu exclaimed, too panicked to bother with sounding like he had anything together. "I-I don't know what happened, but the money… a third of it is gone!! I don't know what to d—"

"Yu, please…" Annoyance seeped through the other line, melting off into an unsettlingly cold slush in Yu's blood. "You should know better than to bother me, especially at this hour. We moved because we had to work, but if you can't be trusted to—"

"I-I can, it's just…!"

He heard an exasperated sigh from the phone. "You know how this goes. You don't have enough money? Get yourself a job to earn it all back. Respect in the world is earned through effort, and if you simply can't be bothered earn it, you pay for it."

"I… but you're…" Something small and furious caught fire in Yu's chest, and he gritted his teeth. "You're not listening…!"

"Oh, Yu. Like I said, you should know better. I already listen to enough of people's complaints as a part of consulting… You, on the other hand, could at least be even the tiniest bit respectful and not call me to whine about 45,000 yen not being enough for you!"

"Did you not—" He swallowed, the knot in his throat getting tighter as his fingers began trembling. "Did you not hear me?! A third of it is gone, and I have no idea why!"

"Of course you don't..." His mother's voice is cold, and Yu's breathing got shallower in the ever haunting seconds of quiet between them, a light, unnerving dizziness overtaking his mind. "You just want an excuse to ask for more, when you already have everything you should need to survive. A roof over your head, a comfortable place to sleep, and a world's worth of knowledge at your fingertips to get you through. What more could you possibly want now?!"

Silence followed. Well, silence, and the rapid thundering of his heart and a lightheaded numbness making it hard to feel the ground beneath him as he was scolded. "…Now please, if you're done complaining and making up utter nonsense, let me get back to what's keeping that aforementioned roof over your head for seventeen years, okay?"

She hung up, and all Yu could do was stumble over himself as he slowly collapsed into the couch in the all too cold living room, legs numb from panicking, and try to breathe… try not to cry. Crying would be useless since there was nothing to cry over… he should've just dealt with this on his own…

The morning hadn't been warm to begin with, but in the moments of calm, alone with his thoughts and his mind rattled by the harsh way she spoke… he almost wished he had someone by his side to comfort him.

How selfish… he shouldn't need to be comforted, not when he wasn't in danger.

Tokyo may have everything under the sun a normal boy his age could want… but for Yu Narukami, never before had such a bustling city felt so soul crushingly empty…

There was no warmth here, no place to rest that wasn't bathed in the fluorescent sky of companies pedaling their latest goods that hadn't truly changed since a year before. There was no reason to call Tokyo a home — no heart, and if there was, Yu couldn't feel its pulse.

All he felt… was empty.

All Tokyo did was suffocate him…

And nobody would come to breathe life back into him. Nobody he could call, not without risk that the foundations would be ripped away and left behind again.

It should be so easy...

It should be so easy to just walk out, but where could he possibly go? Home followed wherever the flock leaders jobs led them downstream, and Yu was that last little duckling following after it, but struggling against the current and wanting to leave that line… to follow his own river.

Home was here… but home was lonely. Home was cold. Home was empty.

This… wasn't home, was it? Home felt like sunshine on his skin, felt like grass beneath his fingers, sounded like the hum of a riverbank that sang such a beautiful song that effortlessly lulled him to sleep instead of midnight traffic, and its name was…

Was…

What… was its name again?

Something with an I…?

No… he just had it! Come on, Narukami! Remember! Hang on to something! Anything!

Try as he might, nothing came up.

The day dragged on, and Yu found himself aimless and numb as he went through his day to day. Go to school, barely mingle with his peers at Shujin, go home. It was the same as always, and it never got any easier, never got any more interesting…

When he got home, he found himself rummaging through the fridge find three fruit sandwiches still sitting in their packaging.

Curiously, he took out the one with banana and strawberry, squinting at it in suspicion.

"I don't remember buying any of this…"

Should he try one? Should he not? Sweets were only ever a once in a blue moon thing, and even then his cravings never got strong enough to need one. Needs overruled wants in the Narukami household, and he just had to deal with that list of wants growing ever longer any time something happened.

He couldn't risk it. Yu put the sandwich back and, as if to remind him of the disaster of a morning, the same letter stared him in the face.

His skepticism and unresolved worries began wilting away into a melancholy he couldn't translate as a dark, almost smog-laden rain beat down on the window behind him.

Yu watched the dark TV screen as he sat on the couch, not fully wanting to turn it on as the conversation from earlier stewed in his mind.

Mornings were dreary, days were long, and nights were lonely… but tonight made Yu especially uneasy as he kept readjusting his position. The thing he couldn't name, the mysterious disappearance of the money, not to mention those sandwiches...?

'What is going on…? I just need answers… something, anything, come on,just give me something!! All I need to do is remember…!!'

A distant flash amidst the darkness, followed by a crackle of thunder rumbled through the apartments very floors, the lights shutting off mere seconds later. Yu found himself frozen in place, his thoughts racing a mile a minute as the TV buzzed to life, a hazy image visible beneath static…

"Are… are those…" His heart dropped like a stone into water, staring at the screen in horror as he got the last word out…

"…Graves?"

What was going on…

'I'm trapped here… I always will be… I'll eventually die, and nobody will ever remember who I was…'

"Agh—!!" Yu was struck by a sudden, searing pain deep in his skull as if something had drilled into it. He fell off the couch in a daze, unable to stand up and gather his bearings. "What's…" he could barely get out what he tried to say before a voice practically screeched in his head.

'I want OUT!! I'm so tired!! I just want to escape it!! All of it!!"

The voice chuckled bitterly, echoing deep into the recesses of his soul, as it spoke again. '…That's how you really feel, isn't it? You are sick of it. You're tired of everything. The city is suffocating you, so why not just run away?'

"That's… not true!" Yu choked out, just now processing that it sounded so terrifyingly close to his own voice, but like there were multiple of him speaking over each other at every moment. "What are you…?!"

'You can't fool me, I know you hate it here. Come on, all it takes is one push. One push and you can finally break the chains shackling you. Open the door, free yourself… I am thou, thou art I… all can be solved if you break yourself free, after all, nobody will ever come save you.'

"Stop… stop it!!"

Another crackle of lightning flashed through the apartment itself, Yu blindly throwing a punch forward… only for his hand to slip through the TV as if it were water, ceasing the deafeningly loud static.

His breath caught in his throat as he recoiled, his arm shooting back towards his chest. His heart was pounding so loud he could hear it echoing in his skull. This… what was this…

Yu shakily rose to his feet, silently walking to his room and glancing at his desk.

He couldn't deny it anymore. Something was happening, he had no idea what, but that something wasn't grounded by the laws of reality. He didn't know how to fix it, but he knew where he could start.

He grabbed a pen, flipped open a long abandoned notebook half filled with notes from a class he'd been pulled out of for at least six months at this point, and wrote down every single thing that came to him.

Every single question for whatever mysterious possibly malevolent entity was set on causing him this much hell.

What are you doing?

Why are you doing this? Why me?

How is this happening…?

What do you want from me?

The final question nestled in as almost pointless to ask, but Yu persisted, scribbling it down into the open notebook before settling in for the night.

What is your name…?

Notes:

I know I said I love torturing Yosuke in this first end note, but if I’m honest I like putting them both through the wringer.

Chapter 5: Adrenaline is Crueler Than Pain

Summary:

A grief stricken Yosuke takes Chie on an accidental dive into a bizarre world where they get ambushed by a bear… amongst other things.

Notes:

This chapter won’t take me long!
*nearly 5k words later*
Oh.

"Konishi Saki of Class 3 has… passed away."

It hadn't even been a day since the news of her death broke, but Yosuke still felt like he couldn't breathe. Gone… she was really gone, and he didn't even get to tell her how he felt, what he wanted to do to help her…

He couldn't do this. He needed someway to distract himself, because he was terrified that if he couldn't, he'd find himself drowning in his own emotions. In a grief for someone he loved, yet will never know if it would be mutual.

Heartache, but somehow worse, layered with twinges of yearning to know. Wanting to know what made her smile, what made her determined, what scared her, what made her upset… just her, how she ticked on a deeper level than just coworkers would know.

Now, all those questions, all those things Yosuke yearned to know about Saki… they had a heart twistingly bitter "Maybe" tacked onto the beginning of it. Maybe living in Inaba made her feel satisfied. Maybe working at Junes was nice. Maybe Saki actually liked him back and…!

Maybe… they could've been more. Yosuke felt pinpricks of anger at whoever did this to her stab into his every nerve, whoever was so beyond sick in the head to think that hurting another human being was ever okay…

It's inexcusable… He had to find out more. He needed to know why. Why her?! Why did she have to die?! Why couldn't it have been…!!

He stopped himself from completing the thought and took a shuddering breath, throat still tight. Focus.

Here he was, standing with Chie in a thankfully vacant electronics department, in front of the largest flatscreen TV he could find.

"So… what, you stuck your head too close and it just went through?" Chie asked, face scrunching up with a reasonable amount of skepticism. "You sure you didn't just hit your head on it and hallucinate everything else? I mean, you did say you heard weird voices."

"Called it." Yosuke exhaled sharply, too bothered by one too many things to try arguing with her, crossing his arms. "You won't believe me without any proof, will you?"

She snickered, badly hidden under the smokescreen of a cough as she turned away from him. "I mean, you do kinda sound like you've lost it, Yosuke—"

He stuck his hand through the TV, then gestured to the staticky ripples the impact was making as Chie slowly turned back toward him.

"…I don't think that you could convince meeee—What the heck?!"

He smirked in triumph before pulling it back out, as if to say 'Told ya'.

"You're kidding me… so all that stuff about going into TVs was actually real?!"

"Is it enough proof for you to help me out?"

"With… what, though?"

He glanced back at the TV, then nodded to himself. "You noticed I was acting weird the other day, right? Well, I think this might have something to do with it."

That only made Chie more confused. "And your point is…?"

She was really gonna make him say it, wasn't she? "So… I think I miiiiight've gotten possessed."

"Y'know, I originally thought you got super overworked but that does make some sense."

"Not the point! I just… uh," he looked straight ahead, then behind himself. Coast was clear. "I think I want to try going in completely. See if whatever's behind it can give me answers. Not just for that weird possession thing, but…"

His voice got quiet as he swallowed the lump in his throat that threatened to tighten it too far and let his grief be truly known all at once. "I'm almost sure we both saw Saki-senpai on that Midnight Channel, and now she's…"

Chie's expression turned sympathetic in the blink of an eye. "Yosuke…"

"T-The point is," he continued, trying not to sound like he was on the verge of losing his grip on his emotions. "I have a hunch that this might be connected to the murders and I'd like some help looking into it. You're about as reliable as reliable can get, so…"

"Sure… but if it ends up being a death trap, you owe me three months of free lunch."

"What."

"Consider it extra compensation. Trial of the Dragon isn't gonna repay itself."

There it was. That was a complete accident, and she still held onto that?! "Asshole."

Chie looked unamused. "You want my help or not?"

"Alright, alright! It's a deal, geez…"

Yosuke was, usually, not good at planning and foresight. If he was, he wouldn't have had to repair his bike a good fifteen times... in the past two months.

But this time, he had to be ready.

They didn't end up going into the TV until they made sure that not only would they not be bothered, but also that they'd have a solid way to defend themselves. Not much he could do with some equipment from the sports department, but it would do.

"So…Are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I can be…"

"We made a deal, right? Let's go."

They had to be ready for anything… but they didn't expect to step through the screen… and immediately be sent careening to the ground.

"Oww… well, that definitely broke something…"

"Urgh… couldn't you have at least warned me before we fell into a giant abyss?!"

"If I'd known that we would, I would've brought a parachute…" Yosuke groaned, rising to his feet after a moment. It looked like a stage, but a strange fog blanketed the environment, and even if he squinted he could barely see in front of him. "Geez, this is…"

"Really weird…?"

"Yeah…" he held up two of the impromptu weapons. Wasn't much damage he could do with a simple set of tennis rackets, but it was at least something. "Where do we even start…"

"No idea…"

Well, with no real idea on where to start, the best thing he could think of was to simply pick a direction and move forward.

"Where are you going? We don't have any idea what leads where!!"

"We don't have a map, right? Next best thing is making one ourselves." Yosuke replied with a shrug. "We'll meet back up at this weird stage thing. I'm going on ahead."

"Wait, Yosuke!! Don't run off without me, you idiot!!!"

By the time he stopped moving, he couldn't hear Chie's footsteps behind him. One look back, and his heart leapt into his throat. The fog was so dense, possibly getting thicker the longer he walked, he couldn't barely see in front of him… which, in line with his luck, meant he couldn't see the way back…

Shit.

Left with nothing but the option to blindly go forwards, Yosuke focused on the path ahead, a path he'd treaded several times before…

The shopping district.

The shopping district, bathed in an odd, suffocatingly thick air that he couldn't quite pin down why it was like this…

It was about when he'd gotten to a weird distortion of Konishi Liquors, when he stopped in his tracks, frozen by a quiet but no less odd noise.

Squeak.

It echoed off into the distance, which somehow made it more terrifying than Yosuke had thought.

Then it got louder.

Yosuke gripped the handles of the rackets, mentally preparing himself to smack the hell out of whatever was making that noise.

It got louder still, and actually closer, but if he really focused on it, he could almost hear… another voice?

"What the he—"

"…raaaaaaAAAAWWWRR!!"

THUNK!!

Before he could complete the sentence, Yosuke was slammed to ground just as he swung the racket, the thing that attacked him falling back from the hit.

"Urgh… What the hell is your problem…"

Amidst the fog, he could make out the shape of something round as it got closer. He stood up, then cautiously walked a little closer, tennis racket raised to strike. It was… a bear?

"What are you doing here?" It asked innocently, as if it didn't just smack into him at top speed.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing. What the heck is this place? Why did you run into me like that?"

"I don't know what this place is, but I know for sure that I live here." The strange bear replied, seeming genuinely confused before scowling at him. "But you… You must be the one who threw people in here!!"

"Excuse me?!" Threw people in…? What could it possibly mean by that?! "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You came back here after the others disappeared, so obviously you must be the one who did it!! Who did you put in this time?!"

"Hold up, wait—hey!!" His attempts to explain himself were met with several furious slaps on the arm. "Ow! Dude, cut it out! Geez, will you calm down for a second and let me explain?!"

It took a literal push to get the bear off him, but he was staring at him intensely. Kinda hard to take him seriously with the adorable almost mascot-esque look, but if it was something to get him to stop attacking him, Yosuke would be all for it.

"Ok, so… let me ask you something first. What, er… who are you…?"

"Teddie is Teddie. I've always been this way." He nodded assuredly, then let out a still suspicious 'hmmm'. "What are you doing here? This place isn't safe for humans."

Dare he explain the actual reason? "There were some… weird things happening recently, and I wanted to investigate it. Why isn't it safe here?"

Teddie shuddered in fear, his eyes focused on the strange warped entrance of the liquor store. "Shadows…! When the fog clears here, they go totally berserk! Humans like you don't stand a chance, so you need to leave!"

"Ok… so, where's the exit?"

"I have it!… buuuut, I won't make it appear unless we have a deal!"

Yosuke groaned in exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're kidding me."

"If you really aren't the one throwing people in here, I want you to help me find out who it is! They're making this world so messed up, and I just want peace here! If you agree, I'll let you out, deal?"

"I—"

A loud, gurgling hiss rumbled through the ground before he could answer and Teddie visibly panicked, looking over at Yosuke as if he could do much to help.

"Shadows…! I knew they'd come attack soon..!"

"We can't stay here, right? Come on!!" He grabbed Teddie by the arm and ran through the warped door to Konishi Liquors, caution and threat of attack overriding any immediate pangs of grief.

The moment he took a few steps in, an almost oppressive chill overwhelmed the air and Yosuke shuddered, then his focus shifted upwards as he heard a voice, no, several, echo around the walls.

"That poor father… to have his own daughter working for the enemy."

"What a troublesome child…"

"I heard their store's sales are going down because of Junes!"

He froze. Saki-senpai…

"Teddie… what is this place?…" Yosuke asked, his posture stiffening as a profoundly deep, painful fear gripped his heart. "Why…"

"It's reality for whoever ends up here… I don't know how to describe it, it just happens."

"So this was…" his breath caught in his throat, and he felt a wave of unease crash into him. "This.. this was Saki-senpai's reality…"

He continued forwards, his every movement cautious and wracked with a achingly unique betrayal, one not laced with malice, but loneliness he'd dare not speak. This… this was what she thought this whole time…?

Amongst the strange things in this place, one thing stood out… the picture they'd taken a while ago with all the part-timers at Junes, including him… but they were all in pieces, some jagged and ripped, some deliberately severed.

"Why… why are these all cut up? She always seemed like she was having fun at work, so…" Yosuke hated to admit it, but the more he saw, the more his deeply buried grief began to come back up to the surface.

"I always wanted to tell Hana-chan…"

"Huh…? Me?"

"…that he was a real pain in the ass."

"Wh… what? That's—"

"I was only nice to him because he's the store managers son, that's all. But he takes it completely the wrong way and gets all enthusiastic. What a dip…"

"That's…" Yosuke couldn't bury it anymore… all his grief, his heartache, the yearning to know her… all of that, for someone who didn't even like him genuinely, not even as a friend…?

No.

No, it couldn't possibly be true…!

"That's a lie… Senpai wasn't like this!"

"How tragic…" a chorus of voices spoke in a mocking tone, and Yosuke's blood turned colder than the environment itself. It was the same cacophony of voices that sounded like him, different emotions and cadences speaking over the others — but, at the same time, in unison. "It's suuuch a shame, boo hoo…"

A chillingly familiar figure made itself known, and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to react, if he should run or if he should fight… as a doppelgänger bearing his face stepped out of the darker corners of the store, its eyes glowing a piercingly sinister shade of gold.

"…nevermind the fact living here bores me to death, hahaha! Everything's such a pain in the ass!"

The grin on his reflection's face was a special kind of unsettling. He felt like he was almost in a horror movie, and this was the scene where the mirror didn't match his movements.

"Who… who are you? I wouldn't think like that!"

His doppelgänger sneered, as if he were joking. "Oh, that's rich!! I'm you, your shadow. You can't lie to me."

This couldn't be real… this couldn't…!!

Taking his terrified silence as a cue to speak again, the other Yosuke shrugged dismissively. "I mean, there's a whole lot of nothing out in this backwater shithole town, so of course you gotta have an excuse for an adventure like this, right? And oh," he sniffled loudly on purpose, mockingly drawing a tear down his cheek. "Oh, it's sooo tragic that Saki-senpai is dead…! If only you had something else to do to distract yourself from how goddamn tiring this town is… hey, maybe you could play the role of hero and investigate a world inside TVs! That's wayyy more interesting!"

He was too terrified to speak. Too scared to respond to everything came flooding back. "Heheh.. investigating her death turned out to be just the trump card you needed, didn't it? Just a reason to snoop around here and have a good time."

This… this thing wasn't him! That wasn't what he thought at all!!

"You're bullshitting…!" He yelled, finally breaking free of the fear induced paralysis holding him back. "What are you even saying?!"

The twisted version of him laughed, almost taking pride in the torment. He wasn't that selfish…! He didn't want to do this just to cure his own boredom!! He wasn't a bad person!!

He wasn't…

"Why so panicked all of a sudden? If I really am just spouting bullshit, you wouldn't be so scared now, would you?! Or maybe… I DO know what you're really thinking! Like I said, I am you."

No…!! No, this was wrong! Yosuke gritted his teeth in defiance, pushed to his limit. "You're not me…!! You're nothing like me!!"

His 'Shadow', whatever it was, stared at him, its grin stretching as it laughed again, louder this time. "You know what? Yeah, I'm not you anymore!! I'm myself now…!!"

A dense, dark fog began swirling around him, and Yosuke staggered backwards as the thing that once wore his face and had the audacity to guess what he was really thinking turned from human, into something monstrous.

The shadow resembled a frog in some parts, but the human torso bursting from the center made it just alien enough that Yosuke almost didn't know what to make of it other than something to be feared.

"I am a shadow… the true self. I'll crush everything that bores me… and I'll start with YOU!!"

Without being given any time to think, Yosuke was smacked away by the frog-half of his Shadow, crashing into a wine display that definitely broke several bones in the process.

His mind was shaken, unable to see clearly from the impact, but able to feel the searing pain pulsing through his every nerve, the sensation itself almost replacing the blood in his veins. Getting hurt was no strange thing to Yosuke, who may as well have a plaque labeled 'bearer of the worst luck imaginable' held over his head at all times… but this was different.

Everything that had happened in the past twenty or so minutes felt so unreal… him? He was… excited when the murders started…? No. No, that wasn't right…

He groaned weakly, his vision clearing slightly, but still extremely out of focus. He heard a voice, somewhat familiar despite the buzzing in his ears.

The sense of touch returned to him just as his shadow careened towards the ground, sending a shockwave of wind throughout the area. Yosuke staggered to his feet, noticing he had been holding onto two things…

A tennis racket and… a small bottle of glowing capsules?

"Eat some of those and we can clobber that thing!"

"Teddie…? What's…"

"No time to explain, we need to fight back against your shadow before you're a goner!!"

If these mystery pills did something worse to him, he'd turn that bear into a rug.

He downed only two, just to be safe, and the ringing in his ears almost instantly stopped, the ache in his limbs subsided, and whatever bones that had shattered into excruciatingly painful breaks from being smacked into a freezer disappeared… like magic.

"…Am I dead?"

"You will be, if you don't stop it from going berserk!!"

"What… are those?" He pointed to the small chest in Teddie's hands, full of bright yellow spheres, as if the essence of electricity had a solid form that could be touched.

"You hit me with that thing, right? Well, hit these at your shadow!!" It didn't take much thought to assume that he meant the tennis racket.

Yosuke stood up, directing his attention to his Shadow. The… true him? How could that be apart of him…?

To his surprise, one shot from the strange orbs was enough to completely throw off the thing's balance, the energy within it exploding out into at least five small lightning strikes at once.

That's when he got an idea.

"Hey, Teddie? Throw four of them! I'm about to do something really stupid, but it just might beat this thing!!"

Yosuke took a brave swing at the four projectiles, his Shadows attempts to swat them back only causing a chain reaction, one explosion after the other causing the beast to collapse from the damage.

The adrenaline coursing through Yosuke's being slowly began to ebb away as the Shadow stood up, and simply stared at him.

"You're not me.. I'm not like that, I…"

But… was he?

A tight, unpleasantly personal knot twisted itself into his throat as he looked back at Teddie, frowning at him in sympathy.

"Shadows come from inside human hearts, and that one came from yours. You have to face yourself or it'll attack again…"

Something sour bit at Yosuke's insides at hearing that, and a word for it immediately came to mind.

Shame. Hurt.

He hated to think about it, but he really was excited about all this… it was just that if his mind wasn't consistently distracted, having a new thing to take up his attention, then he'd have to stew in the dissatisfaction, the homesickness, the isolation.

Inaba hated him and his family from the jump because of circumstances outside of their control, he was far away from his friends in the city who barely even spoke to him anymore…

Truthfully, if Yosuke couldn't distract himself, he knew he'd drown in the fact that he was completely alone, despite surrounding himself with people and making newer friends in Chie and Yukiko.

But… something about that was strange… almost as if someone important should be in his life — but wasn't, and it left a unique sense of wanting he couldn't quite define.

A part of Yosuke wondered… who was missing? Why did it feel so wrong?

"I knew it wasn't lying… but I didn't want to admit it, I was too ashamed… My feelings for Saki-senpai were real, but I really was scared of being alone like you said. What a way to find out I'm such a pain in the ass though, heh…" he met his Shadow's eyes and nodded. "I guess there's really nothing to it. You're me, I'm you… all of this is a part of me."

His once twisted reflection mirrored his smile, taking a form almost like the half humanoid, half frog he'd literally fought to wrangle in, but this time they weren't separated. They were one. A humanoid frog of sorts vanishing into light as a card floated down and landed softly in Yosuke's hand.

He didn't know why or how the name came to him, but he knew just what this was. It felt familiar, almost nostalgic, like an imaginary weight was lifted off his shoulders.

A Persona…

Details passed, the exhaustion from fighting his Shadow awakened into something he learned he could use in this world, to save people, to help people…! It was, in a way, a perfect storm of wonderful disasters.

Still, despite the magic medicine Teddie apparently had on hand, the ache in Yosuke's body was ever present. Something simple painkillers couldn't numb, couldn't take away.

Was it emotional exhaustion? Was it physical? He didn't know, he didn't much care at the moment, all he knew was that something in his mind, his body, his soul — all of what made Yosuke himself was saying the same thing at once.

'I am SO tired…'

"What the hell, Yosuke?!" He heard Chie scream-sob at him as he returned to the stage with Teddie, feeling several furious punches echo against his chest, but too exhausted to stop her. "I thought you DIED, you idiot!! I was looking for you for HOURS!!"

"Look, Chie…" he couldn't even begin to explain the whirlwind of things he'd been through. "I think this place has something to do with the murders, and I can't just…" he took a breath to steady himself, voice serious but his mind lightheaded from more than just the strange fog that seemed to grow thicker... "I won't be able to rest peacefully until I know who killed Saki-senpai and that announcer, and why. I know I can't do this alone. Will you please continue to help me out if I promise I won't run off again?"

In response, she muttered something into her sweater he couldn't catch.

"Hm?"

"…Six."

"What…?"

"Six months of lunch are on you, just for that stunt you pulled scaring me to death, damn it!!"

As much as Yosuke wanted to make a snide remark in response, he really couldn't blame her too much. He literally would've had his ribs broken permanently if it weren't for the bear following him closely. "Yeah, yeah… I'll buy lunch."

"How are you even alive...? This fog was really starting to wear me out…"

"Wait!" squeaked Teddie's voice from behind at the comment. "Here, for when you come back."

"Glasses? What can these… oh!" Yosuke looked around, astonished. "Chie, put these on, the fog clears up instantly!"

"Are you actually losing your mi—ack!!" Chie recoiled back when she saw Teddie standing at Yosuke's side, immediately taking a defensive position. "What is that thing?! You wanna fight?!"

"I have no idea what he is, but I know for sure I'd be dead meat if he hadn't helped me out. He's not our enemy."

"Are you sure…?"

Yosuke nudged Teddie forwards, crossing his arms with a nod. "If you won't believe me, then you've gotta believe him. He lives here, so…"

Almost twenty minutes passed, the explanation thankfully having calmed the nerves, if only for a little bit. So much had happened, so much Yosuke wished he could just turn a blind eye to… but no. He couldn't.

It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be fair. Not to Saki, or that announcer—Yamano, was it? They were gone, and he couldn't go on knowing that there was something he could do to help figure this out, no matter how small.

People died because of a cruel, heartless monster throwing people in here… and it'd be too damn soon if the local police department believed that story when they got out of here. No, this was something they had to do themselves…

And thankfully, they'd at least not be going in totally blind in both the literal and figurative sense thanks to Teddie being on their side.

Speaking of Teddie, the supposed exit he mentioned having was now sitting in the center of the backlot. He stood beside it, and looked between the two of them just as they were about to leave.

"You will come back, right?"

Chie nodded, a new sense of determination ignited in her spirit that Yosuke could feel the burning passion of. "Heck yeah we are! We can't let this go."

"Well, come through here, always. If you go through somewhere else, there's no telling where you'll end up, then you'll be doooooomed!!"

"So, the Junes electronics department is gonna be our starting point…" Yosuke said to himself. As long as there weren't any customers flooding the area, that might actually work well for them! They wouldn't be found out! "Alright, that settles it. We'll come back when someone shows up on the Midnight Channel, and make sure we save them."

"Yeah!"

"See ya later, Teddie. And… thanks."

Safe to say, after a completely insane afternoon, Yosuke immediately went home and collapsed into his desk chair, his eyes scanning over the notes the still yet to be identified body snatcher had written.

A thought crossed his mind as he turned the page, his three spur of the moment questions staring him in the face.

If this whirlwind of a day taught him anything, it was that you couldn't turn a blind eye to things, even if they're upsetting to acknowledge. He needed more answers, and being confrontational like that… it wouldn't be good in the long run, even though he missed an entire day of class thanks to this weirdo.

Taking a breath, Yosuke grabbed a pencil and set his attention to the next page.

What's your endgame?

Are you real?

Another thing trickled into his mind as he cringed remembering the morning he was told about the fishing incident.

Now determined, Yosuke skipped a few lines in his notebook, then wrote something else.

Look, whoever you are, if you're going to be possessing me, we gotta set something straight: You can't just do whatever, you're playing with my life here! You clearly have no idea what you're doing so, here's some tips.

Tip number one: Don't ditch school again. If you can't find Yasogami, it's past the river you apparently like so much.

Tip number two: I've got a job and I cannot afford to lose it. It's at Junes, the department store with the food court on the third floor. This place is extra important to me and my friends now, so commit that to your memory. It'll be a big help.

Yosuke stared at the next blank line, then wrote something else down, hoping with all his heart a malevolent entity wasn't responsible for this body snatching thing. He needed to put his trust in them, if it ever happened again.

Tip number three: Keep an eye on the Midnight Channel. You'll know it when you see it. Just wait for a rainy night, and watch my TV closely with the screen shut off. If you can make anyone out, even if it's just a silhouette, call Chie and meet in Junes' electronics department the next day when you're free. I don't know how to explain it to you besides any people who show up on there are in danger and two have already died because of it… just please, please keep up with it, and don't tell anyone else.

Yosuke thought that that would've been it. That he'd have no more notes to write. But his mind kept drifting off to those same three questions he'd written in a frustrated panic…

He wrote one last thing, this time at the top of the page, before slumping over and almost immediately falling asleep at his desk, too exhausted in all forms to bother going to bed properly.

Sorry if I came off as rude but, before I can trust you… I need to know something.

What's your name?

Notes:

This chapter is a big boi
I am so sorry
I swear we’re getting to the next swap soon, lmao
Shenanigans (and angst) shall ensue

Chapter 6: These Never-ending Rains

Summary:

Stuck alone in his apartment due to severe weather, Yu debates trying to reach out to his friends, but at the last moment pays a visit to a haunting forest ravaged by storms.

Notes:

You thought I was done making Yu suffer? Hah! No! :D

Rain was not considered an oddity to Japan, but to have it be this bad before the typhoon season truly set in…?

The green sky was unsettling, the dark clouds occasionally rippling with flashes of lightning, and if Yu squinted, he could make out a strange, dark haze clouding the skyscrapers in the distance.

Shujin had cancelled all in person classes due to the severity of the storm coming in, and Yu found himself laying on his couch and watching the sky to try and distract himself.

Usually, he'd be tucked away in the corner of the school's library at this time, getting work done there while his mind was still locked into focusing on it. But now, Yu was swallowed in a level of boredom that he couldn't even find words for.

The day before the cancellation took full effect 'until further notice', they'd held a whole assembly for it, and apparently it was an unfortunate collision of weather conditions and some kind of smog that apparently couldn't be identified…

The monochrome surroundings of the apartment became stained green every few minutes, the rain beating down on the outside and soaking the small balcony area he'd usually use to read at home. This was… not the plan.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Yu let himself fall backwards with a tired sigh, going from staring out the window at the dreary weather, to the ceiling as the clock on the kitchen wall ticked repeatedly, slowly.

He dared himself to shut his eyes, knowing that if he did, the dark sky and little noise would make him too tired to get up again. He grabbed his phone, flipping through his small contact list.

'Mother. Father. Haru-chan, Makoto-chan…'

He debated texting either of his friends, but shut it off the last minute, overcome with a mixture of guilt and regret. Yu enjoyed company with Haru and Makoto, but he didn't think he could call them friends… he couldn't afford to, rather, because who knew when he'd get a call and be told to pack his bags again…

Told to leave again…

To tell whoever he met and connected with that he was leaving.

Then the occasional calls checking in with them would stop. Then the texts. Then, Yu would be left adrift again, left alone again…

And oh, how the thought made him both tired and nauseous…

He sighed and stood up, glancing back at his TV as he closed the curtains. The mood was too dark, too cold, and he needed something to occupy the only company he'd had, that of his own lonely thoughts.

So, what if…

Abandoning his phone on the kitchen counter and grabbing a prop katana from his mothers room, Yu packed a small bag with food, his hand hovering over the sandwiches from a few days back.

He hesitantly grabbed the one with the candied lemons and closed the fridge door, then walked over to the TV.

There was no doubt about it, he'd seen graves on air the other night, and apart of him wouldn't be able to stay still in these times of quiet unless he knew the source of it.

Carefully, he reached out his hand towards the screen, recoiling back to his rapidly beating heart at the electric pulse it sent through his skin.

It was real, after all…

Well, it's now or never, and it wasn't like he'd be bothered.

Yu braced himself, then went through the screen, eyes closed to ease his nerves until he touched solid ground.

He thankfully didn't land anywhere dangerous. It actually appeared to be an isolated cottage, the TV he'd just left small and significantly older than the one he had in the apartment.

The floorboards groaned with age upon contact, a howling wind catching Yu's attention immediately before he could look about the space. He coughed into his elbow, the air smelling of dust, petrichor, and something distinctly — disgustingly rotten.

His eyes fell to an abandoned pair of glasses that glinted in what little light there was in the small shack, glancing through the lenses appearing to clear his hazy vision like it was magic.

Yu put them on and looked outside, met with a sight he'd recognized from that night. A small graveyard, held in the sharp metal jaws of a fenced border. The tombstones were sharper, shinier, as if they weren't even made of stone in the first place. Curiously, towards the back of the area, there was something else: a forest. Ominously tall momiji trees stretched into the dark sky like skeletal hands grasping at something, the leaves a bright red, almost glowing like stars and pointing in all directions, surrounding him.

Thunder beat through the ground, causing the house itself to shake, and Yu braced himself as he poked his head outside.

A cobblestone path greeted him, the cottage only a short walk away from the graveyard. Rain poured down on him harshly, perhaps worse than in the real world, but he made his way across, gripping the katana tightly with both hands in case he was attacked by… who knows what.

Getting closer to the graves themselves, Yu's heart and mind stilled in a mix of sorrow and fear. There weren't names of people, but of places, and the headstones resembled buildings rather than sculptures or engravings carved in memorium…

Osaka… 1997 to 2000…

Yokohama… 2000 to 2003…

Kyoto… 2003 to 2006…

Fukuoka… 2006 to 2009…

Sapporo… 2009 to 2011…

The final of the six graves sent ice rushing into Yu's bloodstream, and he felt as though his heart, for just a moment, stopped beating.

Tokyo. 2011 to…

The death date wasn't carved yet.

These were cities. Cities he had moved to. Cities he had moved to for his parents jobs.

Cities that destroyed his attempts to find stability and solid ground, a found family, a group of friends he could call his own amidst being by himself for what felt like his entire life once he was capable of taking steps without childlike stumbling…

Each grave represented a piece of Yu's life, dead and buried with nothing sentimental or warm left behind, with the lack of flowers laid on each plot to show for it.

This was a graveyard of Yu's childhood… and how many years he'd wasted trying to make memories — trying to make friends, knowing that he'd be forgotten in three years time…

"It's such a shame, isn't it?"

Yu flinched at the voice — well, technically voices, so close behind him, prepared to strike at whatever it was.

He stopped, his posture growing rigid when he saw an exact copy of himself walk forwards, its movements stilted like the body's joints were segmented.

Upon a closer look, it appeared that they actually were…

The other Yu's expression was as hollow as hollow could be, dark circles settling underneath softly glowing yellow eyes. He wore a short black cloak, tied around his neck with a ribbon that almost looked to be fastened too tightly. Underneath it was an all black suit he vaguely remembered seeing his father wear just after they moved to Tokyo when he was 14. He claimed it was a suit for an important work meeting at the time, but in the context of this place, it almost felt like something one would wear to a funeral, too.

"What… what are you?" Yu found himself asking, his voice quiet.

"I'm you… your Shadow." It replied, the voices settling into his mind as his own, multiple speaking at once. "Your true self."

He stepped back, eyes widening in disbelief. The other him, the 'Shadow', frowned, as if it was expecting the reaction.

"All I want is to leave." It spoke, then glanced at the unfinished tomb representing his time in Tokyo. "But I can't… I never can."

The wind of the storm enveloping them intensified, another quaking thunder rumbling through the earth.

"The sky doesn't like it if I try…" it continued, walking over to a pathway in the forest. "Come."

Yu cautiously followed behind, gripping the katana tightly in case something attacked…

As they walked, no small talk was shared between them. Fitting, considering he wasn't much for conversation, and if this really was his supposed true self, then he'd be a man of few words too…

He stopped when his Shadow did, and mirrored its gaze up at the dark clouds coating the sky.

"I'm DONE!! I'm leaving—!!" It yelled, then collapsed to the ground, the events too quick to process.

Three things happened in the span of a minute. First, thunder, loud and booming, then a flash of lightning a second later as it struck a nearby tree, bursting into flames and uprooting itself from the damage. The third thing was that his Shadow writhed on the ground, scrabbling at the ribbon constricting its neck.

"L..let me out!!!" It wailed through choking breaths. "I'm so tired…!!!"

Yu rushed over, helping the Shadow up and trying to loosen the ribbon, only for one of its loose ends to whip out formed into a talon and smack him away with such force that the tree he crashed into lost a small branch or two.

He recovered quickly, rushing to the other side and stepping back. Yu held his blade carefully, seeing if somehow he could cut it off from a distance. The sash reacted quicker than he expected, the other end twisting into a mighty horn and throwing the katana a good ways into the path back to the graveyard.

What horrified Yu the most, however, was when his Shadow went limp. When he stopped fighting to try and free himself, only then did the ribbon loosen and go back to its previous position.

"I can't go… I never can…" he lamented, breathing heavily as he walked back to the cemetery. Yu followed close behind, nothing but worry etched into his face. He didn't know what to do… this thing wasn't him, but the way it spoke, the environment it existed in… just what was this place?

"That's how you really feel… isn't it?"

"No, I…" Words died in his throat, but some of them kept clawing back up, sitting unspoken on his tongue.

"All you can do is wait in numb patience for the gravediggers to come and finish this one," Shadow Yu pointed over to the Tokyo headstone, then continued. "Then, the process repeats. Soon, another me will be here, waiting for the next resting place."

"Wait, slow down… another?" Yu's voice held an unreadable tone, but how could he possibly feel when a thing wearing his face gets choked out and waits around in a cementery for graves to be dug… this was his true self?! No. Not in a million years. He wasn't trapped, things just… had to be this way. It was for the sake of keeping a roof over his head, after all. He had no right to complain about it...

"Yes, it's only a matter of time." The Shadow looked up at the rain above them, his expression mostly numb yet some part of it had an almost wistful gleam. "…Before I am buried too."

Yu's heart dropped as he slowly backed away. Was… was this all a trap?!

Was this all some ploy to get him to walk straight into his death?!

He didn't know where this place was, what it was, why it existed… but he wanted no part in any of it. Not anymore.

"I…I am not dying, not today!!" He shouted, making a run for the exit. "You're not me!!"

Suddenly, the wind intensified in speed to such a degree that Yu felt an extra push jolt him forward and into the cottage's patio. It was deafening… but he could almost make out a woman's voice, as it roared along with the gale itself.

"YOU ARE WHOEVER I WANT YOU TO BE…!!"

Heart racing from sheer, unrestrained panic, Yu slammed the door shut and held on tight to the things he'd brought with him as he jumped through the TV, the storm outside continuing its riot when he left his 'Shadow' to brave it all alone.

That decision was evidently the wrong one, because jumping straight through led to his entire body careening forwards and skidding to a halt on the floor, face first.

Ouch…

Well, that was a waste of a day…

Still on edge, Yu stood up, then dragged his drained body to his room, collapsing into the comforter and staring at the ceiling.

How…?

How could that shadow of himself be so accepting of his own death…? How could it just… wait there?

And that voice…

'You are whoever I want you to be…'

He couldn't bear to think about it again, but it sounded close to how his mother did whenever she was angry at him.

Come to think of it, if she did the impossible and actually believed what he said for once, she'd probably be just as furious about what he did today instead of doing something working on tidying up the house for when they'd get back… whenever that was.

No matter what his parents thought, it didn't matter. That… was a bad idea.

Yu shut his eyes and listened to the still pouring rain, letting his all too tired consciousness fade into the background, falling asleep with a single wish seeping into his body.

He wished he could be somewhere else right now.

Anywhere else, but here.

Notes:

uh oh

Chapter 7: Removing Doubt From My Mind

Summary:

Finding a six year old girl shopping by herself hit so much closer to home than Yu thought it would.

Notes:

Aka Yu gets emotionally destroyed, the chapter, part 2 of ???

"Yosuke…? If you sleep in any longer, you might be late for breakfast!!"

"'M not ready…" Yu grumbled out a half asleep reply to whoever was yelling at him. Just five more minutes, please, it's not like he had anywhere to—

Wait a minute.

Yu was, for lack of a better word, very awake now. His back was straight as a pencil as he leaned back too far at the sight of a desk he swore wasn't his, falling backwards out of the chair he'd apparently been sleeping in as consequence.

All he could do was lay there and blink in astonishment.

If he was dreaming right now, then a falling sensation should jolt him awake, much like the sensation of first going to sleep.

But the air in this room was warm and the early morning sky dyed the walls such a breathtakingly beautiful shade of orange that made him stop panicking, stop thinking, for just that moment to soak it all in. It felt too light, too good to be true, too… familiar to be real.

It was when he stood up, convinced partially that he'd continued the story his dreams had written for him a few days prior, then spotted the open notebook resting on the desk.

What's your endgame?

Are you real?

The questions took a minute to sink in, the handwriting distinctly different from his own. Yu knew, at least in some part, that they were directed at him, and all he could do in response was breathe a quiet "Oh…" in a voice not his own. In a body not his own.

This wasn't a dream after all.

This was real.

He looked back at the questions again. Endgame…? What did this guy mean by that? And what was that name he got called? Yosuke…?

Yu turned his attention to the page he'd written in before, his notes still there, similarly untouched, before looking back at the questions. Some of them stood out, particularly the ones that looked scribbled onto the back of where he wrote.

First off, who the heck are you?

Second, why are you doing this?

Third, what the hell did you do yesterday and hey, can you NOT?!

He found himself laughing quietly at the clear as day panic communicated through the phrasing. This Yosuke person must've been on the same mental trail he was, thinking he's some body snatching creature or…

Or…

Uh oh.

Yu stared at the notes, realizing all too late that if he was here, then Yosuke must've been where he was supposed to be!

Oh no!!

Panicking internally, Yu rumaged through Yosuke's closet for something to wear, surprised by the amount of graphic t shirts and almost blinded by the amount of warm colors condensed into one space.

He needed to get back to Tokyo and fast before every last bit of his money was wasted!! Oh, his parents were going to kill him, and if that happened, what would become of him?! He didn't mind being here of all places, but being in his own body while he experienced it would be very nice!!

He checked the date on a nearby calendar, a pit drilling into his stomach. Saturday. Yosuke, whoever he was, had school today. Oh, great. He wouldn't have the time to waste on a train back to Tokyo without ruining this guy's life in turn…

Getting ready for whatever the day had to offer him as fast he could and grabbing the notebook with Yosuke's questions he hadn't gone through, Yu practically sprinted out of the room only to bump straight into a man humming to himself, apparently on his way to the room he just left.

"Woah!" He laughed, steadying Yu from the impact and stopping his frenzied pace dead in its tracks. "When I said you'd be late for breakfast, I didn't mean for you to run out here so you could get some! It's not going anywhere, you don't have to rush!"

Yu blinked, analyzing the man responsible for stalling him. Brown hair leaning more towards an orange shade, gray eyes and dressed in a semi formal suit, but no less of an inviting presence given the relaxed tone he spoke with. If Yu had his bets right, this must be Yosuke's father.

"Oh," he finally said, his expression turning apologetic. "I'm sorry."

Yosuke's father's smile melted into one of sympathy. One of care. "Hey, no problem. I know you've been going through a lot lately with Konishi-san's passing… but if you ever need to talk, I'll be here. We both are, whenever you need us."

Something inside Yu's chest twinged, not from pain, but from an absence. Something he felt should've been there, but wasn't. Something unfamiliar, but that he didn't even know he'd wanted until he felt it.

That's the first time he'd ever been told that, and it wasn't even meant for him…

Somehow, it made the unnamed ache in his heart crack into an abyss all the deeper.

"I… I see." Yu replied, unable to meet his eyes after such an undefinable emotion still found its way into his blood. "Thank you, Father."

"Father?" A snicker, then a light and playful smack to his shoulder. "Why're you being so formal all of a sudden? Come on, breakfast is gonna get cold if we keep talking."

What stunned Yu more than anything that morning, was the lack of silence. Yosuke's parents were nothing if not a beyond supportive pair, and with how much they chatted and laughed together over something as simple as breakfast…?

The warm feeling of family time like this almost made him jealous. He couldn't remember the last time his parents stayed long enough to have breakfast, let alone with him present.

Yu found himself picking at the egg and rice in front of him, trying to hide his melancholy with a neutral expression.

This… wasn't his home. This wasn't his family. This wasn't his life… but oh, how desperately Yu wished that it could be his for just one day… How he wished to wake up and find his parents home, both proud of and concerned for him amidst the heavy storm clouds, wanting to engage with him, asking how his day was…

But no. They wouldn't be there. He couldn't have a moment like this… not with his family… but, he had nobody else, at least that's what his father told him when he naively asked if he'd be staying with anyone while they were gone.

No. He had to be the one take care of himself, as always. Forget relaxing or God forbid taking a sick day… he had to keep an apartment running, all on his own.

Yeah… that's how it always was, how it would be. Yu was alone, despite sitting at a lively table of three, wearing someone else's skin and walking in their shadow.

This family wasn't for him. It never would be. He had no other family, so it was hard to really complain about it since his parents said they were more than enough, but Yu would be lying if he said that the loneliness didn't bother him…

'He's so lucky… I hope he knows how much these people mean to him.'

"Okay, so, I'm sorry to ask this so soon…" A voice shook him out of his thoughts for a moment. "But since we're understaffed again, I'm going to need your help later than usual today at Junes with cleaning up and restocking some departments, okay?"

Yu blinked, then tilted his head. Should he agree? Well, it sounded like Yosuke had a job, and one for his family at that, so it was extra layers of important. It came first. He nodded quickly. "Yeah, I can help."

He reacted positively, smiling in response to Yu's answer, but it did nothing to stop the ever growing ache in his heart that that reaction wasn't meant for him. It wasn't how his father would react…

The morning continued to drag on, Yu following any he saw wear the same uniform that he did. It was an obvious guess that the outfit from his closet with the houndstooth pattern was for his school, and now that he was sure this was reality for someone else, but not him, Yu wouldn't dare mess it up for Yosuke.

It was times like these, when he was in school and trying to pay attention, that Yu forgot that he existed at all. A part of his mind adrift and far away from being present in time. Sometimes, dissociation was the only thing he could do to drag himself through the day, knowing that he'd come home to an empty table, the smell of cold, artificial air freshener, and the ever embittering quiet aside from his own footsteps.

"You seem extra zoned out today," a girl commented as the last class for the day winded down, snapping Yu's attention back into place. The notebook he'd gotten out was still opened to a random page away from all the questions Yosuke had for him, his pencil just barely gripped tightly between his fingers. Merely pretending to look busy and not paying attention to the time. "Did you see anything on the TV last night…? Y'know, that thing?"

Yu stared, confused but unwilling to speak about the graves he'd seen and the near death experience, considering Yosuke (hopefully) didn't see anything like that. Stuck on what he should say or if he should describe something, he instead chose the secret third option: the choice to lie. "Mm… no, nothing."

"Me neither," she groaned, leaning back in her chair. "Looks like Yukiko isn't here today…"

"Hm…?"

"She got ambushed by the local news for an interview recently, so I guess she's extra busy at the inn."

Yu had no idea what she was talking about, but nodded to not appear suspicious.

"Not to be rude or something but… are you alright, Yosuke? You seem… off, today."

Great. He was still found out anyways. Perfect.

"Am I? I'm perfectly fine, you don't need to worry!" He was very much not fine, but if keeping his true feelings hidden was an Olympic sport, Yu was half sure he'd get a gold medal. "I'm actually going to be busy at Junes today… sorry."

The girl tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, somehow perplexed at his apology. "It's fine…? No need to say sorry, y'know. Just keep an eye on the Midnight Channel. It's gonna rain again tonight."

"Oh, uh… okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." He mentally crossed his fingers that Yosuke left some form of help to figure this out, because what on earth was the Midnight Channel?

He rather unfortunately could not crack open that notebook to read and answer, because he had to work. He could've said no, but he practically lived to please, so him saying 'no' was unheard of, even if the wrath he'd face wasn't directed at him.

Yu found his way to Junes after at least fifteen minutes of wandering. The place had just about everything. Produce and general food goods on the first floor with an elevator in the lobby leading to a clothing section on the second, and an open food court on the third.

Work, like with school, became nothing but buzzing in his head after he'd changed into uniform and started wherever he saw some things needed to be restocked. What saved Yu throughout the entire process was his pattern recognition, everything else was just white noise.

At least three to four hours passed before he noticed the majority of customers had left, and as he was wrapping up organizing stock in the dairy section, he heard something… someone humming to themselves as they passed by.

Yu turned around, shocked to find a little girl no older than six in a pink dress and white turtleneck pushing a cart as she looked about the aisles of produce. The shock turned into concern when he peaked around the immediate area.

There was not a single adult in sight. No parents, no older siblings, so… was she here by herself?

"Can I help you with anything?" He found himself asking. He really shouldn't jump to conclusions like this… Maybe there was a guardian around here, maybe she just wandered off, maybe her guardian wanted to grab something else and asked her to go on ahead. It could've been anything.

"Ummm…" she teetered back and forth with her hands behind her back, nervous. "Do you have any ramen cups left?"

Yu nodded and led her to the aisle, an unpleasant knot twisting itself in his stomach at the way she looked at the selection, grabbed at least ten, then smiled at him. "Thank you."

He lightly clenched his fist, unable to keep himself from asking anymore. "Are… any of your guardians on the first floor shopping for clothes or anything?"

She shook her head, and another, uniquely painful thread got plucked out from Yu's heart. "Dad comes home late a lot, but he works reeeally hard!" She outstretched her arms, as if to convey the dedication by size like it was a fish. "So I wanna help him by going shopping!"

So she was alone here… a little girl, out in the world past what looked like 9 at night…

Something in Yu's heart cracked like ice as he watched the child continue looking at what was on the other aisle. The knot in his throat got tighter and tighter until he had to force himself to breathe.

The image of himself, a six year old Yu Narukami with a lifetime's worth of light in his eyes, strolling through a Fukuoka grocery shop by himself, with no list and money in his pockets flashed through his mind, and at that moment, he knew.

He couldn't let it happen. Not to another child. He couldn't let this poor girl feel alone, no matter how invasive or weird this might've been.

This was a child. She didn't — no, shouldn't have to do everything herself.

"How late does your father get home?"

"Umm… I'm sometimes asleep when he gets back from investigating stuff."

At that, Yu's heart dropped, then he took on a somewhat determined expression, a weak smokescreen of resolve that kept him from breaking. "It's very late, and I'm not letting a kid as young as you go back home by yourself. Tell you what," he knelt down to the girl's level. "Once you have everything you need, come to my register. I'll help you check everything out and walk you home, so you're safe and sound when your dad gets back from working."

"…okay." She seemed embarrassed to accept the offer, but there was no way that Yu was going to let her be outside this late on her own. Who knew what kind of people were out there…? It'd be different if she were a little older and could actually fend for herself, but she wasn't even a halfway to being a teenager yet. She was just a child…

A part of Yu, a part he thought he'd long since buried deep, fought with every urge in his heart to keep himself from crying as the girl finished her shopping and pulled out cash to pay.

He was reminded of times he thought he'd left behind, times of shopping all alone, buying meals for three knowing that only one would get eaten that night. Late nights waiting by the front door, hoping with stars in his eyes that it'd open, only to either to be disappointed and fall asleep at the kitchen table from waiting, or to have those lights dim slowly as his parents walked through the door and ignored him, often going straight to bed.

Oh, this was painful… but he kept it all inside, as he always did.

So, Yu walked with her back home, letting her guide him. 'Dojima Residence' was carved on a small plaque next to the entrance.

"Um… thank you for your help." She said, smiling a little. "Do you wanna share some ramen with me before you go?"

Yu nodded, all the more relieved that he could make extra sure this girl was safe. Sharing a quick meal wouldn't hurt.

He walked inside and, as he was covering up the ramen cups to let them cook, he stopped, spotting a picture on the side of the fridge.

The sight of it made all his organs shut down. He stilled, forgetting to breathe, forgetting to blink, forgetting to keep himself steady.

On the side of the Dojima household's fridge, was a picture of the little girl, a man in a gray and red shirt and tie, and…

He exhaled slowly, chest trembling, as he focused on the two other people in the photo…

A woman in a dark teal blazer and fancy gray dress, her straight silver hair combed into a neat looking low tied ponytail. Most of her bangs covered her eyes, but a smile was clear as day on her face. A man parallel to her, in a similarly formal black and blue suit, his black hair slicked back in a similarly proper manner. He too was smiling, as all four of them were posed in front of a birthday cake with a freshly blown out '3' candle on top.

Yu stood there, frozen in place from a mix of emotions that chipped at the carefully arranged house of cards he called his emotional state, then forced himself to relax as he took the ramen cups to the child. "Who, um," he cleared his throat, noticing just how close he was to crying. "W-Who's that on your fridge there?"

"Oh, the picture? That's me, Dad, Aunt Nagako and Uncle Seiji!" At the names, Yu felt his legs go numb, but he quickly hid behind another mask, forcing himself to smile gently. "They had time out of their busy week to come to my birthday party, so we wanted to take a picture of it! It's been a long time since I've seen them, though…"

Yu stared at the now open ramen, steam twisting upwards as his heart screamed in pain, the names and appearances sinking into his mind as nobody else but his own parents…

No.

No, he couldn't cry here. Not in front of her. Not in front of his family…

Nevermind he wasn't even in his own body at the moment, this revelation was just one more name away from completely breaking him…

The door creaked open, and the girl practically jumped up from her spot. "He got done early!! Welcome home, Dad!!"

The man from the photo — no, Yu's uncle, walked in and his attention was immediately drawn to him, a questioning look on his face. "Hanamura? What're you doing in my house?"

"He walked me home so I'd be safe when you got here!"

"And um," Yu stood up, clearing his throat a second time. As soon as Dojima arrived, he'd lost his appetite and covered the ramen back up so no more heat could escape. That's better off shared between those two. Not him. "I handled dinner tonight, too… I'm uh, I'm sorry. I'll…" Yu couldn't stay here a moment longer if he didn't want to cry tonight, his composure getting weaker and weaker by the minute. "I'll be going now. Have a good night."

Before his uncle could tell him some approximation of 'Thank you', Yu brushed past them both and shut the door behind him, finally feeling as though he could breathe… but oh, how he couldn't!

So many emotions flooded him at once. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to call his parents and ask in between sobs just what did their own son do that was so awful that they could make time for his cousin and uncle, but not their own child.

But he couldn't.

That's right. He wasn't truly himself at the moment. He had a different family to get back to…

The family that also wasn't his to belong in.

Was today just custom tailored to destroy him in every way imaginable…?

The moment he arrived back at Yosuke's house, his heart sank even deeper into the abyss.

"You're home late," Mr. Hanamura said, his voice not harsh, but still concerned. "What kept you?"

"A child, she was.. she was shopping by herself and…" Yu tried with all his might not to fall apart. Not here. Not here either. The more he spoke, the faster he tried over explaining so it would hopefully soften the blow of whatever they were going to yell at him. "I-I couldn't let her go home by herself! Not when she was alone and her father worked this late, a-and I'm sorry, I won't do it ag—"

"Hey, hey, slow down, breathe…" Mrs. Hanamura soothed, gently grasping him by the shoulders. "You mean Dojima-san's daughter, right?"

Yu nodded hesitantly, still shaken by the whirlwind of everything he'd found out, everything he'd felt, still bracing to be yelled at…

"I knew he worked long hours, but his kid going out by herself at this hour…?" Mr. Hanamura's voice was even more concerned, before he turned his attention onto Yu again, and he fought himself not to flinch and close his eyes. "Still, you should've let me know, Yosuke… I understand you were worried about her safety but that doesn't mean that you can just go off by yourself without letting us know you're safe too."

He… wasn't going to get yelled at?

How… how were they not mad at him?

"You're…" he hated how weak and pathetic he sounded. "You're not upset…?"

"You were just trying to help someone who needed it, why would we be mad at you for that?"

"You truly have a golden heart, just like your father, Yo-chan. We'd never think that's a bad thing." Then, without warning, they both embraced him.

This was it.

This was the thing that truly made the last card fall.

Head reeling and barely able to breathe, Yu choked out a half-composed half-sobbed "Th-thank you…" before breaking himself free of the hug he knew he didn't deserve, running up to Yosuke's room the fastest he could to try and pull himself back together.

Oh… that's right.

He'd almost completely forgotten about the notes.

Taking a few minutes to breathe, Yu found himself where he started the day: Yosuke's desk, with the notebook open to the questions he'd written down, which he could finally respond to…

Sorry if I came off as rude but, before I can trust you… I need to know something. What's your name?

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he wrote.

Narukami Yu.

He looked down at the next things written. Some tips, it seemed. Tips he'd already managed to fulfill by complete accident, no less…

One of the notes that stood out, though, was one of the ones near the top of the page.

What's your endgame?

His fingers shook slightly as he recalled the events from earlier, then after a good minute of thought, he continued.

I don't do this on purpose, I'll have you know. It just happens every so often when I fall asleep. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'endgame', but I swear I don't intend to do anything malicious. I suppose… I do have family here, a cousin and uncle I never got to meet myself, so I guess that would be it. I want to get closer to my family. The Dojimas.

He looked at the question following it, and felt like this one he could answer a little more jokingly.

Are you real?

Snickering dryly, he wrote on.

Does this answer your question?

He proceeded to use the rest of the space allotted for the answer to sketch a doodle of a fluffy looking cat batting at a fish, with 'Nice to meet mew!' written in the corner.

The last thing Yu took notice of was the third tip in the list. The Midnight Channel.

He heard the rain thrumming against the window and swiveled the desk chair closer. The clock kept ticking in the background, and Yu checked the time. Two minutes.

Static buzzed softly as the time passed, the TV coming to life without his input. The vague silhouette of a girl with long straight hair popped onto the screen, but he couldn't make out a face or really any details.

Yu repositioned himself back at the desk and looked down at Tip number three, then looked back at the TV repeatedly, sketching out the image before it fizzled away.

I saw someone. I don't know who.

He collapsed into bed not a moment later, drained beyond the point of what he thought was his limit.

He had only one thing on his mind as he drifted off. He needed to remember the name.

Tomorrow, he had to call his parents. He needed to know about the Dojimas, and one thing he knew for sure…

If he remembered their names or not, Yu would not be letting this go.

Notes:

If you thought I wouldn’t be including Yu and Nanako sibling bonding in this you’d be dead wrong lmao

Chapter 8: Like the Sky I Saw in a Dream

Summary:

Yosuke, having once again swapped bodies, finds himself dying of boredom and decides to do some more exploring to kill time at the apartment.

He's not sure what to make of what he sees, other than it is NOT good.

Notes:

So fun fact, I originally had a Yu POV for chapter 8, and it was about halfway through writing that one when I got the idea for this chapter. Safe to say the Yu chapter is now chapter 9, and you get some more juicy details about Yu’s problems that expand outside just his parental issues, lmao

'Well, shit.'

Just when he was getting the hang of this whole murder case, Persona, Midnight Channel thing, he wakes up in the same guy's body from before.

Yosuke narrowed his eyes as he looked out at the city before him, tempted to open a window. It was only early April, so why was it raining like they were about to be hit by the biggest storm of the year?

He had to write this down just so he wouldn't forget it, maybe he could find something on TV that'd clue him in.

Yosuke sat at the desk at the far end of the bedroom, flipping it open to a random page… only to stare, wide eyed, at the words before him that told him one single thing.

What do you want from me?

He royally screwed up.

'Oh shit. This was actually real. Oh god, that means the money I spent was real too, damn it!!'

He needed to fix this, and fast, but what could he do? Yosuke was playing with someone else's reputation right now and he had no idea what to do with it that wouldn't cause too much damage.

He sighed and grabbed a pencil, knowing the best he could do now was issue apologies. Probably wouldn't mean much now that 15,000 yen had been splurged on those sandwiches and the arcade, but it was at least something to ease the uncomfortable tension resting in his mind.

Yosuke had to wonder, what was it that connected them? Did he have a similar wish? Was he also bored out of his mind out here?

Well, with weather like this still apparently going on, he couldn't exactly blame the guy. Inaba might've been a drag before he started this whole investigation thing, but at least there was some days where the sun shined to brighten his mood.

Come to think of it, the last time he was here, wasn't the sky that same sickly tint of green too?

Yosuke cringed as he reached to unlock the window in the living room, just cracking it open the tiniest of amounts causing an absolutely disgusting smell to waft into the apartment. He gagged, recoiling from the scent of a suffocatingly thick smog, tar, and what was unmistakably a decomposing body, snapping the window shut almost immediately after opening it.

'What the hell is going on…?!'

This wasn't just an unusual weather pattern. This was completely unnatural. Who knows what would've happened if he kept it open, or hell, actually stood out there! May as well have been actual poison…

Yosuke turned around, beelining for the fridge to grab one of the sandwiches he'd bought and flopping onto the couch. He settled for candied lemon, then switched on the TV if only to have background noise for the day. With air like that, school was probably canceled.

"—and authorities are asking all Tokyo residents to stay home. Do not go outside for any reason, as thirty five people have been hospitalized so far due to this weather anomaly, and no progress has been made in identifying its source."

Yosuke stilled, staring in awe at the broadcast. Thirty five people have gotten sick from this?! What was going on…

He leaned forwards, his attention completely taken by the news.

"Once again, we urge all of our viewers to look out for symptoms of headaches, fatigue, delirium, heavy cough, and mood swings. If you have any of these issues, please don't go to any hospitals as they have been overwhelmed with patients over the past three days. The best thing you can do for yourself and others is to stay in your homes."

Something was definitely wrong.

He nearly tripped over himself trying to get back to the notebook, penning down what he'd seen in the next blank page.

Still, something wasn't sitting right with him. The rain was making people sick, it had been going on for days, and nobody knew what was causing it…

He hated to admit it, but outside of the TV world and in a body that wasn't his own, Yosuke didn't know how to go about this beyond asking around.

He had to go out. He had to find the truth.

Yosuke searched the entire place for something he could use to hide his face, at least partially, so he wouldn't breathe in that foul smelling air. He found a scarf, but he knew it could only do so much.

Dressing in extra layers just to be safe and grabbing an umbrella, Yosuke set out to the streets of Tokyo, and it was like night and day since the last time he was here.

The streets weren't crowded, though he could spot small clusters of city goers pass by every now and then. He sometimes bumped into some people that were crouched on the ground, mumbling half words he couldn't understand. Strange…

'I can get people would be panicking about this, but why hasn't anyone taken them inside…?'

Passing by the police station, Yosuke stiffened as he accidentally bumped into someone outside tying little paper dolls nearby its windows, dolls he'd immediately recognized as teru teru bōzu.

"Sorry," he apologized, taking a few steps back. "Guess I was so stuck in my own head that I didn't look where I was going."

They turned around, revealed to be a somewhat scruffy looking man in a suit, a yellow rain coat his only protection from the rain. He shrugged somewhat nonchalantly before eyeing Yosuke in suspicion.

"Where you're going should be straight home, y'know." There was an odd coldness to the man's voice that made Yosuke mentally give him the side eye. "Haven't you heard? It's getting real dangerous to be out in this weather for too long."

"That's why I came out here, actually. I don't keep up with the news a lot so I just saw this morning. Is it true that that many people got sick from this rain? That's unnatural, isn't it?"

The man shrugged again, a small flash from inside his suit with the motion. He was no doubt an officer from that badge. "No idea. Keeps my day interesting at least."

"Huh…" Yosuke found himself dissatisfied with the answer, but didn't know how much more he could push. "I hope you guys find something soon then, I saw a couple people just muttering nonsense collapsed on the ground… is anyone coming to take care of them?"

"Ah, I'm not-" He visibly cringed in reply, but a ringing from within his pocket interrupted him. "Hold on a sec." He turned around, clearly talking with one of his coworkers. "Adachi speaking… mhm. Another one? That's the fifth incident this week…" his expression twisted into one of annoyance, then he nodded. "I'll be right over."

The officer — Adachi, turned back around to face Yosuke after hanging up, sighing tiredly. "You should go home immediately. Just got a call about another violent incident with someone who was exposed to the rain, so I gotta get back to work. Wouldn't want that to be you next."

Yosuke swallowed, deeply unsettled both by what he found and the vaguely threatening hint that Adachi had dropped.

He needed to go back before things got ugly.

People turning violent? This was all too much… but he had to keep a record of it, if not for himself, for whoever he was playing the role of.

Once he stepped foot in the apartment, Yosuke opened the notebook to a blank page far away from everything and wrote down what he knew.

Weather-induced sickness?

Symptoms are headaches, fatigue, mood swings, heavy coughing, and delirium.

Cause: Rain. No leads on what's causing it. It's definitely not natural.

Solution: ???

People become violent if they stay out too long.

As he stared at his findings, Yosuke tapped the pencil against his cheek in irritation, wishing that someone had a solution to it.

Maybe, as small of a thing as it was, if he hung a charm of his own by the window, the sun would shine. If not for him, for the person pretending to be him.

In times like this, when Yosuke was left with no clue, but no culprit or further evidence, distracting himself from how antsy the lack of information he had was his only solution.

Nothing making a little craft couldn't fix, right?

He rumaged through the desk back at the apartment, managing to find a small, dusty box of craft supplies tucked away in one of the larger drawers. Lucky for him, it had cloth and a few stray ribbons left amidst the stack of blank paper.

When he got to drawing the face on it, though, he smiled slightly. Maybe this was a way he could apologize about the money.

He doodled a simple rendition of his face after tying it all together with an already cut piece of orange ribbon, hanging it right at the bedside window as the dangerous storm outside continued its beatings on the earth below.

It was then he noticed that that splash of orange was the single bit of bright, warm color in the entire apartment. Yosuke didn't think about it much, but this place hardly looked lived in. There weren't any photos anywhere, no keepsakes or signs of really any fond memories of the family that shared this space…

Actually…

Thinking back to that note, the one he'd seen when this first started, it almost sounded like the family was hardly ever together as a family at all.

He'd never seen a more lonely space to call home.

The rest of the day was similarly lonely. Nobody knocked or called to join him for lunch or to hang out, nobody came home to join him for dinner, and the silence was deafening.

'This poor guy… is it like this for him every day?'

Yosuke was told once, while he was growing up, that a person's home showed more than their choices of where they lived. It showed a person's life, their memories, what kinds of things the families within enjoyed doing together, what they found pride in or considered important. More than anything, it showed their story.

But he saw nothing here.

Nothing of warmth or compassion, of joy or pride…

All he saw was a home that could be summarized in three words: cold, uninvolved, and distant.

He found himself mentally comparing the space to his own as he scoured the kitchen for something to make for dinner, his heart breaking when he saw bento after bento with portioned meals for two in the fridge. Untouched.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to assume that those meals were meant for the parents he still had yet to meet while in this body, but a nauseatingly large pit forming in Yosuke's stomach told him he probably wouldn't like what they'd have to say.

He sighed, picking one with crab and rice, crossing his fingers that this was allowed. It was, like everything that happened, a distractingly lonely night.

Without any other way to help with either the murders or this person's life, all Yosuke could do was record it, keep track, and hope.

Hope that tomorrow would be better.

Hope that tomorrow, the boy he walked in the shoes of wouldn't be too mad at him for what he did.

Hope that tomorrow, it'd be a sunny day.

Notes:

I’m sure this officer is trustworthy Yosuke, don’t worry about itttt

Chapter 9: Floodgates

Summary:

Yu looks over what Yosuke wrote the day before and makes a proposal to assist with investigating the murders in exchange for help learning more about the Dojima's… because as usual, his own parents gave him nothing to work with.

Notes:

I am so sorry Yu it’s not my fault you’re an emotional stress ball of a blorbo (proceeds to torture him more anyway)

Also, for any curious about the yellow bandanna that keeps coming up… take a look at Yosuke and Yu’s costumes from the dancing game. I did and I said “what if I made that tiny design element for both of them plot relevant”

The first thing Yu felt when he bolted upright in bed was tears.

He was crying.

"Wh.. why am I…"

A vague flicker of a memory fluttered through his mind as he attempted to dry his eyes. A girl and his father, an empty feeling of grief in his heart, and a name… What was it again? D.. do.. doji..

Dojima.

He couldn't stop the gasp that escaped his mouth. He actually held onto it! Dojima!! That's right!! He needed to ask his parents about them!!

Disregarding everything he might've had to do that day, Yu practically jumped out of bed, throwing on whatever mildly presentable clothes he could find and grabbing his notebook. Yu sat at the kitchen table intent on having a good breakfast and reading through what happened before truly getting down to business.

His eyes lingered on the banana and strawberry sandwich that had been left in the fridge, the candied lemon one gone — possibly thanks to Yosuke. Yu looked around himself, suspicious, then swiped it from its spot next to the last sandwich with the fruit flower design. He'd been taking quite a few risks lately, what's one more on the list?

It was, surprisingly, delicious despite the level of sweetness being too high in certain spots. He had pretty good taste when it came to this.

As he ate, Yu flipped open to his questions he'd left. He stifled a snicker, some of the corners of the next page had frantic question marks drawn in the corner.

What's up with your weather? When I watched the news just to kill time, apparently people have been getting so sick from it that several have been hospitalized, almost like it's poisonous. Really freaky…

He actually didn't think about that. It had been raining for a couple days, but poisonous? Yu had never considered such a thing, but not having seen the bright blue of the sunlit sky for days at a time was… concerning.

I'm not entirely sure. School was canceled a few days ago because a storm hit at the same time the air got really polluted, or so I've heard. It doesn't seem to be letting up today either. I will admit it's rather strange… it's not even close to being typhoon season yet.

He looked back at the questions themselves, smiling to find answers as he took another bite of the sandwich.

Hanamura Yosuke. Glad I finally know you're not some creature screwing with my life, haha. Sorry I wasted all that money from before, by the way... I don't know how I can pay you back though.

Wish I knew what was causing this, honestly. I have no idea why we're switching bodies, but if you've got some answers I'd love to hear.

What do I want with you…? Hah, I mean, I did wish I could be back in the city, but this isn't exactly what I meant. Seriously though, if you stop messing around in my body, I'll stop messing with yours. Fair enough?

Yu snickered, answering on the next line.

Yeah, I think that works for me.

Refocusing himself, Yu pulled out his phone and clicked down to his father's contact.

He needed to know who the Dojima's are to the family. No matter what happened.

After a prolonged silence, it stopped ringing. He actually picked up.

"Father…?" Yu began, his tone composed and as serious as he could make it. "I need to know something, just one thing, and then you can go back to work."

An exasperated groan, but Yu didn't falter. "…Make it quick."

His expression turned determined. "Who are the Dojima's?"

For once, immediately after he spoke, there was silence, as if his father were stunned into not interrupting him.

"How do you know that name…?" He sounded… horrified, but there was that little flicker of anger in his tone as well, as if he perceived Yu's question as a threat.

They didn't know that only made his resolve stronger. He pressed on, for it was clear that his father was hiding something from him. "So you know something…!"

"Son, listen and answer me honestly." Seiji's tone turned harsh as he enunciated his words, speaking deliberately slower. "How do you know that name?"

He had no choice but to lie. With no way to explain how, Yu's grip on his phone tightened. "Why does that matter? Just tell me what you know. Who are the Dojima's!?"

"You dial down that tone right now or you and I are going to have problems, young man!"

Yu's hand began shaking. He gritted his teeth. He couldn't give up. "Yeah? Well I already have a problem, because you won't answer me!! I just want ONE THING from you, is that too much to ask?! I'll ask you one more time, Father. Who. Are. The Dojima's?!"

An aggravated, long sigh. "You keep being a nosy little brat like you are and you're gone. Is that clear?"

"Father—"

"Is. That. CLEAR?"

Just like that, all of his determination withered away, but the fire still remained.

"…fine." Yu muttered bitterly, blood boiling.

"Good. You should know better than that. Stay in your place, and if I ever hear you mention those names again, you can go find a better place to sleep in the metro station."

He hung up without so much as a goodbye, and it took all of Yu's self control not to throw his phone straight at the ground. Nothing.

He'd gotten nothing out of them.

He sat there, stewing in his anger, before the smallest hint of a tired smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he turned his attention from the botched call to the notes from Yosuke.

It looks like I'm the leader in solving a murder case. You probably think I'm crazy, but I swear it makes sense with context. Man, this is gonna be stressful, I'm really not the best guy to be first banana.

He laughed quietly at the first banana comment, then in the next blank line, Yu wrote something he hoped would be taken well.

What do you think about us working together? You have that murder case you need to solve, don't you? With us swapping bodies, it's no doubt going to be extra difficult and I'll help however I can, but I would like the same from you.

I tried asking my father about the Dojima's, my family I mentioned in my notes back in Inaba and I couldn't get anything out of him, but they're definitely hiding something and I can't let go of what I saw… so you're the only one I can trust with this right now. So… what do you say? Will you help me?

A ring from his phone distracted him, and Yu swallowed. If it was his mother he'd pick the wrong decision in the long run and hang up, because after that call with his father, he didn't want to get yelled at twice in the span of an hour… he was already doing that to himself enough.

Checking the ID, he answered when he saw it was Makoto. "Niijima-chan? What's wrong?" He clearly wasn't prepared for this…

"Oh, nothing! Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you're holding up." The surprise in her voice was palpable, and she continued. "The rain hasn't stopped for three days now, so we haven't seen each other in a while is all."

"Oh…" It should've been easy to pretend that he was fine, but the dip in tone was not lost on her, as evidenced by the silence floating between them. "I.. I see."

"Is… everything ok? You sound like you’ve been shouting…"

Don't be a burden. Don't be a burden. Oh, for the love of everything, don't be a burden. Makoto didn't deserve to have his stupid problems lumped on top of her, nobody did. It was Yu's issue, and he had to fix his behavior by himself. Can't ask for help if you're the one being a problem child needing fixing… that'd just make him look weak, too dependent on others to prop him up.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," he mentally cursed at himself for his resolve still sounding weak, but she didn't need to know that. "How about you?"

"I was thinking…" she didn't notice his facade slip. Good… "Maybe we can meet up today and study together. I know you have different material because you're a second year, but still! We've gotta stay sharp, right?"

Yu hated the fact that his arms got prickled by tremors of anxiety at the mention of spending time with her. She wasn't wrong about having to stay on top of his studies, but a loud part of Yu's mind didn't even want to think about studying right now and instead, wanted to see his supposed 'Shadow' again.

"I… appreciate the thought, Niijima-chan, but I'm afraid I have something important to do already today."

"Oh," Thankfully, Makoto didn't seem too disappointed, but it was clear she wasn't expecting him to turn her down. "How about next week then?"

Yu's eyes fell to the note left by his parents, the money left over, and shivered. His parents would probably rake him over the coals for inviting someone over, especially if it was a girl he had been on amicable terms with. They'd start hounding her for information immediately after, everything from her life and hobbies to her aspirations to see if they 'fit' the ideal image they had for his life… so he wouldn't actually have a choice. Then again, when did he ever?

They'd either say no and stop them from contacting each other, what little that happened, or they'd agree to their relationship but only if they could perch on Yu's shoulder and watch his every movement like a hawk…

But truthfully, while Yu enjoyed Makoto's company, he wasn't drawn to her as a romantic partner. If he really thought about it though, he wasn't sure who he liked at all.

"Mm… yeah, next week is fine, I think." He answered finally, crumpling the note his parents left behind in his free hand.

"See you then! Have a good rest of your day, okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'll.. I'll try."

Why… why did he keep doing this…

Meeting up together to study shouldn't make him this worried, this upset, this angry… but it did, and Yu couldn't blame Makoto for wanting to reach out. The truth was, well, he'd kept things at arms length because at any moment, a friendship could be destroyed just as quickly as it could be made — all thanks to his parents jobs.

Calling the way he'd coped with this willful isolation was probably not the right word to use, but Yu couldn't afford to lose contact again… he wouldn't break his own heart, not again. The only way to avoid it breaking was to never touch it. Never go more than just cordial small talk.

The way to never lose friends, in Yu's mind, was to never, ever make them again…

It was strange to think about in depth, but unless his parents had some kind of business in Inaba, an unlikely prospect given their extreme level of avoidance regarding Yu's family who lived there all this time — the only friend (if he could really call it that due to the extremely weird circumstances that led to their connection) he had that wouldn't be ripped away from him was Yosuke.

Actually… about that…

Yu walked back into his room, digging through his drawers of clothes until he found it.

That same yellow bandanna he'd wear occasionally on his wrist as a good luck charm or comfort item he'd received the first week he'd moved to Tokyo, though for what purpose or from who, Yu couldn't remember.

His memory of his time in Inaba was fairly hazy, but he knew for sure he'd recognized Yosuke having this exact one as well.

'Hm, maybe we both found the same kind at some point.'

Letting the thought go, Yu tied it around his wrist before standing back up and looking at the TV.

Maybe he could try and see if that graveyard had any answers for him like last time…

No harm in a second try, right?

Yu stepped through the screen a few minutes later, looking out the window of the same shabby cabin to find it pouring rain, but next to no harsh wind.

He peaked his head out of the door just barely enough to see the graveyard, and the black splotch that lingered nearby one of the graves.

His Shadow was still there.

Cautiously, Yu approached, but the reflection didn't acknowledge him, not immediately. The lack of roaring wind made existing in this place at least a little bit more bearable. The terrifying thing was that the grave marked with his time spent in Sapporo looked to have been dug up, the body of his Shadows 'other selves' nowhere to be seen.

"Do you get it yet…?" Shadow Yu asked, his attention directed not towards his other self, but to the sky, almost as if he were asking the question to nothing in particular. "Do you understand why the sky doesn't let me leave?"

This world was far from really making sense, but maybe if he stayed with his Shadow a little longer than before, maybe he'd get extra answers.

"About that, I heard a voice just before I left…" Yu began, shivering a bit at the memory. "It said 'You are whoever I need you to be'…"

"The wind has always been this way…" the Shadow remarked, voice numb, before he dug his fingers into his hair, speaking faster and angrier. "Work harder! Study more! Get good grades! Don't be a nuisance…!! Always, always, ALWAYS!!!"

It ran off down the path from before, and Yu immediately rushed after it. "Hey!! Hey, wait…!!"

The downpour, ceaseless and colder the deeper he went, made wading through the murk all the harder. What was once a stable trek up stone path turned into an ankle deep struggle against flood waters. The more Yu tried to run, tried to catch up to his Shadow, the stronger the rainfall became…

Until, for just a moment it stilled, quieting down to a drizzle, making room for two other voices in a clearing up ahead…

"Mother! Mother, come on, pleaseeee! Please look! It's really pretty!!"

"For the last time… will you please not bother me with your pointless nonsense?"

The rain began feeling so much colder the second the voice reached Yu's ears.

A little boy no older than six, with several different kinds of origami flowers in his arms, each one bright and popping against the monochrome backdrop of a rainstorm. A woman, her eyes obscured by straight and blunt bangs, but her face no less annoyed. She had her back to the child, and her posture was tense, angry.

"Come on, I made a bunch of them at school today!! Please, just give it oneee look!!" The child exclaimed, grabbing onto the woman's coat and pulling at it eagerly.

"Fine," the woman groaned and then whipped around to glare at the young boy, snatching the paper bouquet from his hands with a scowl on her face. "This would be lovely…if it actually mattered."

Yu stood frozen in place, as the woman tore every single flower to pieces, one by one, as the child broke into a loud sob, beating against her legs and trying to pull her arm down so she couldn't destroy any more of it. Attempts that failed… every single time.

"B..but.. my teacher said I did a good job on these…" the child sniveled, but the mother didn't react, coldly turning away from the small pile of technicolor scrap.

"Get a decent score on your next five math tests and then we'll talk about you doing a 'good job'. Now please, let me go to bed... I have work in the morning."

"But I made them… for you…"

Thunder shook the ground, a flash of lightning destroying the image before him.

Yu didn't know if it was the cold or the memory rushing back to him, but all he could do was tremble… then grit his teeth as he spun on his heel, running past the graveyard and into the shabby building in front of it…

"So, now what?! You go from leading me to my death to torturing me with reminders of what a disappointing and annoying child I was?! Is that it?! Thanks, but I don't need the reminder!!"

He fit himself through the TV, once again abandoning his Shadow in the forest, and hopefully leaving that stupid reminder behind in the rain too…

Once again, going into the TV had been a mistake. Old wounds had pried off their stitches and started to bleed again, but Yu didn't let himself feel its pain as he rewound everything until it was how it was supposed to be. How he wasn't in pain, how he wasn't tired, how he could be whatever it is that his parents needed to…

He sighed, weary, and went to bed without so much as even making himself dinner.

Yu didn't need to go to some weird TV world to be told he was a disappointment…

If he wanted to wallow in his feelings of inadequacy and shame, he'd just call his parents.

Because if he couldn't even get the answer to one question from his own father, if simply asking one thing was too much, why would he expect to be seen as anything other than an annoyance…

It was always like this.

It always would be.

Notes:

Everyone else: Accepts their shadow
Yu: Haha. No. *Literally runs away from his own trauma*

Chapter 10: To Nurture a Garden

Summary:

Yosuke talks about some of the concerning things he'd noticed about Yu's life to his mother, and wonders what he can do to help.

Notes:

Ok ok, fiiiine I’ll stop putting the boys through hell

….For now.

The next bunch of days were, simply put, a stressful experience. Yosuke finally got this guy's name, and it looked like Yu had some family here in Inaba to boot. An uncle and a cousin. Still, something was bugging him, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

If he had family here, why wasn't Yu living with them since his parents were supposedly away for days at a time? Also, what did he mean by 'never got to meet them himself'…?

Although, considering the state he found the Narukami apartment fridge in, stocked full of bento that was portioned for two but gone uneaten, Yosuke had a decent guess as to why that was the case…

The decent guess also made him the most upset he'd been in a while. Yu seemed like a genuinely good guy, but the fact his parents were no shows for days?! It was infuriating he couldn't be there in person to help, and even if he could, Yosuke's plate was already stacked to the ceiling with equally important things he had to do…

Besides, he barely knew the guy, despite basically pretending to be him for two days now…

But today was Sunday, and since he didn't know who to look for in the Midnight Channel besides a silhouette, Yosuke was left picking at his lunch and feeling terribly antsy.

"I'm sorry if this is hard to talk about for you Yo-chan, but…" his mother's words dragged him out of his funk for just a moment. Sometimes it scared him how perceptive she could be while also being preoccupied with cleaning the kitchen. "You seem… anxious, today. Is everything going alright?"

He couldn't lie to her. It took a lot of patience to deal with his level of bad luck, and she was nothing if not insanely patient and very capable of reading people's behavior like they were books.

"Let's say, mmh…" he leaned back in his chair, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck as he tried to explain. "Let's say I know someone far away who's lonely and stuck in his house, his parents rarely if ever come home, and I wanna help him feel less alone. How would I do that…?"

"Far away? Yosuke, are you being safe online or should I be worried?"

Crap, he messed up. "I-it's just a hypothetical, Mom! I'm totally fine, don't worry. I just want to know what I can do in case I ever meet someone like that…"

She stopped, humming in thought before turning around, her attention fully on him. "Well, I think it all depends on how you two would be talking with each other in the first place. So, let's start there."

Ah, thank god. He could be honest about this part too. "Hmm, I'm gonna sayyy… letters." That's basically what their notes to each other were, except the way they got mailed was through their weird body swapping thing that Yosuke still couldn't pin down a cause for.

"So, you and this person send each other letters, he confides in you that he's lonely in his house by himself and his parents aren't around, and you want to help him feel less alone…"

"Mhm! Exactly!" He nodded, relieved that this was getting somewhere. "I know that I've got a lot to do over here so if I couldn't visit him, what would I do?"

"Well, keep sending him letters for one. Nothing shows you care about a pen pal like continuing to write them frequently."

Yosuke smiled at the notion, knowing he'd continue to do so anyways. If Yu was going to pass the 'Yosuke for a day' test every now and then, he had to leave tips, but when that wasn't happening, Yu was most likely home by himself, confined to his apartment since apparently the rain was poisoning people.

After the things he'd noticed the second time they'd swapped lives, Yosuke wanted to let him know that he was there for him. Despite not knowing the guy for long, he wanted to help.

"Do you want to hear the story of how your father and I met, Yosuke?"

He laughed a bit at the question, eyeing her with both curiosity and like he'd been told this story over and over already, but always liked hearing it again. "You were working at a flower shop in one of Tokyo's underground malls and Dad was one of your regulars, I've heard it before."

"Yes, yes, I know… but there's more to it." She took a seat across the table, her gaze fixated on the potted centerpiece of daffodils and yellow camellias. "Your father doesn't like talking about it because it embarrasses him every time I bring it up, but he actually had a pollen allergy for a couple years."

"What? But he came to your shop physically almost every week, didn't he? I've seen the place you worked at before we moved, it's practically covered in flowers!"

A light chuckle as she gently grabbed one of the daffodils from the pot by its stem, twirling it between her fingers. "It was only after three months of him coming in, red faced and sniveling like crazy, asking about my favorite kind of bouquets to arrange and things I liked to eat for lunch that I finally realized why he was doing that."

"So I take after Dad with my terrible luck then, huh… small world."

"I wouldn't say bad luck, personally. I'd call it… unbridled tenacity. You may stumble and crash into things, but you also get back up and keep going, even if it's a struggle. Especially so with you, Yo-chan. I could probably go on for hours about how many boxes of bandages we've gone through when you were growing up."

"Wha— hey!" Yosuke rolled his eyes, forcing himself to grin away the cringe and pink tinging his face. "Okay, now you're pushing it!"

"Anyway, when I figured out he liked me, I… somewhat firmly told him to stop making his allergies worse just so he could have an excuse to talk to me every week, and asked if we could just either meet outside of work or send each other letters. Being the easily flustered man he was, he stumbled through apologizing for the inconvenience and agreed to both."

"Huh… I never knew."

"Mhm. That's also one of the things I think you could do for your long distance friend," she continued, putting the flower back in its spot. "Not literally mail them flowers exactly, but just that bit of consideration for their well being can go a long way when it comes to relationships. Then again, I suppose it sounds obvious when you say it that way since that's a given for any people you're close to."

"It does kinda sound that way, yeah…" Yosuke snickered, nodding in agreement. "Help out in small ways so they know they can be comfortable around you, right? That's the gist of it."

"I think so. Those kinds of acts can build up over time, and I'm sure they'll really appreciate it. Relationships are like gardens, Yosuke. They won't flourish if they're not treated with all the respect and care that they need."

Needless to say that night, Yosuke spent a good hour writing in what was definitely no longer a notebook for class, but a journal.

A journal full of questions and little tidbits for his (hopefully) friend out in the city.

Hey… I don't mean to be invasive or anything (well, I mean, how much more invasive can you get when you're literally switching bodies twice a week, but you get what I mean, right?) but… is everything ok at home, Narukami? I noticed that you're alone almost all the time, and I know this weird situation hasn't been going on for long but… I'm here for you.

Just in case something comes up while you're me and you need to save someone, count on this cool guy to help you out!

He squinted at the paper as he doodled a semi-stick figure look alike of Jiraiya.

It's not the best drawing, I know, but the point is it's my Persona. Jiraiya is apart of me, and I'm apart of him. Kinda crazy to think it was my Shadow at one point. Oh yeah, forgot to mention: Shadows are like… your hidden emotions and stuff, at least from what I went through. After I accepted it, it became my Persona. It's a little confusing, but you gotta face yourself if you want to grow.

Yosuke leaned his cheek further into his hand, the only thing keeping him from falling asleep in his chair again, then he looked back at the TV with a yawn.

The tiredness in his eyes was snatched away as he saw a strange image of Yukiko in a princess gown, going on and on about scoring a prince. That was definitely not like her.

It had to be it. The 'other' Yukiko.

Yosuke picked up his phone and called Chie. "Hey, you saw that, right? It was definitely Yukiko-san! Right, I know, she's definitely in danger. We should go back tomorrow and see if Teddie can help us find her. Yeah… I'm not giving up on this, see you tomorrow."

He hung up, and the appearance of Yukiko on the TV got him thinking…

Hey, Narukami…

Did you have a Shadow too?

Notes:

You can’t convince me that the Hanamura’s didn’t have a similarly stupid meet cute to Souyo.

Chapter 11: Destroy the Lock and Abandon the Key

Summary:

Yu lets a few too many things slip during his study session with Makoto.

Notes:

Just some more exploration of Yu and first year Makoto

Yu had, for the past few days, been watching the news like a hawk and at the same time, avoiding his TV like the plague.

The graves were no longer the terrifying part whenever he drowsily watched its dark screen minutes after midnight hit, but the memories that crawled up into his throat and mind like a cluster of spiders.

At least the next week came faster than he thought and Yu was now sitting across from one Makoto Niijima as they studied together. It felt almost surreal to think that they were spending this time together, but that was, of course, before the weather had other ideas. Well, if it blocked out the deafening silence and ever constant rain, Yu couldn't be too mad. He'd wanted company for a long time now.

"Hey, Narukami-senpai, mind if I ask something… personal?" Makoto asked while reading through her notes for her history class.

"Hm? Sure, what is it?"

"The other day, when we were setting this up, you sounded agitated. Did something happen?"

He swallowed, anxiously tapping at his notebook with his pencils eraser. Could he answer her? Should he…? As much as he could try and deny it, try and fake it, it was harder to do in person than it was over the phone. He needed to tell someone about this…

"I just called my father, and he got upset with me is all…"

Her expression turned worried. "How come?"

Yu exhaled sharply and covered half his face, already tired of thinking about the event even days after. "Apparently one answer to a question is just too much to ask for from a man who can't even be bothered to be present in his own son's life, let alone the most important parts of it." He answered, bitterness poisoning his every word.

"They're still busy?" Makoto asked, shocked by the notion. "When did they come home last?"

He sighed, his expression numb but tone disheartened. "I'll be completely honest with you, Niijima-chan… I don't think I remember the exact date, but it had to have been weeks ago..."

"You're kidding…"

He shrugged, watching that same tiring green sky pelt the window with rain, no longer bothering to appear like he wasn't distracted by his own thoughts. "You get used to it. I know I certainly did…"

"I can kind of understand. My sister has been pretty busy lately too, but she at least comes home for dinner… do they not even show up for that?"

Yu shook his head, his attention turning to the clock on the wall ticking away into the later afternoon hours. "I suppose I can't complain too much… Taught me how to fend for myself rather early, I think." What he didn't mention, however, was the many nights he'd waited with naive, stupidly bright childish hope in his eyes for his parents to return from work, only to be disappointed by a phone call giving him permission to eat without them for the sixth day in a row…

'Fend for himself', he says. Hmph… not like he had any choice. It was either eat alone or starve. Loneliness was nothing if not his usual, meals weren't spared.

"I knew your parents worked a lot, but… Senpai, aren't you lonely? I'm free any time you want to have some company."

He didn't answer, not immediately, looking back at his textbook briefly before pressing his knuckles into his cheek. Something about today was leaving him feeling… vulnerable. The chains on his heart were loose and the air wasn't choking him when he'd brought up his father, despite the sting of pain in his throat at recollecting it.

"Like I said, you get used to it." Hard not to when there was no other way to live…

Well, there was another way, another place he could be… but he couldn't be too sure about going out. Maybe his uncle wouldn't mind him staying with him due to this weather, but since he didn't have his number and his parents were even less helpful than usual, he was still stuck.

He sighed, smacking his book shut. Oh, how he missed the warmth of the sun…

"A-Anyways," he said, standing up after hours of study. He wouldn't say it, but he barely felt like he'd processed anything. "I think I've gotten a good refresher, how about you?"

Makoto, too, grabbed her things and stood up. "Yeah, same here, but hey…"

"Hm?"

"Please reach out when things get to be too much, ok? I know it's hard but… I guess the saying misery loves company fits, literally." She smiled sadly, then headed for the door. "Because, even though Sis comes home… I get how you feel, Narukami-senpai. So, if you're lonely, don't be afraid to call. At least then we can be lonely together."

Yu chuckled quietly as he followed her out. "Keep that up and you might just get a spot on the student council when this storm clears out."

She smiled, amused by the thought. "You think so?"

"You're very perceptive, Niijima-chan. If anyone could do it, I personally think you could. Maybe you could even be their president with how easily you can listen to and understand people's problems. I have no leg in this race, but that's probably what a student council would want."

Makoto beamed at his words, although he could spot a hint of startled surprise at the compliment. "Thanks, that means a lot. See you later, then?"

"Yeah… I'll try and keep in touch."

They parted ways soon after, but Yu's conscience felt almost lighter, lighter than it had been in… a long time.

Talking about what was bothering him had left the air warmer, nicer. It felt like he could breathe a little easier when just existing here on his own. If he could count on Makoto to help him ground himself, he should definitely count on others too…

Well, now all that there was to do in the day was look over his journal for Yosuke, and prepare for when the next day where they'd pretend to be each other came.

Yu smiled softly at the thought. Somehow, despite how strange the situation was, he found himself looking forward to it.

Notes:

I swear I’ll get back to the suffering, I just thought a moment to breathe would be nice, lmao

I get it though. I like writing my favorite characters suffer too much too lol

Chapter 12: A World Torn Apart by a Burned Bridge

Summary:

Determined to make connections, Yu (as Yosuke) stays for dinner at the Dojimas. It goes well for all of five minutes.

Notes:

Suffering time again bois, toot toot

Five days passed faster than Yu had thought, and now he found himself once again in Yosuke's body. Every time this happened, his curiosity about the what and why of their whole connection only seemed to grow stronger.

Just what was it that connected them? Why? He knew he didn't have an answer, but it didn't stop the theorizing and general guesses. Unfortunately, many of them lived and died by what could be just simple coincidence.

"Hey."

Yu kept his eyes closed even after the bell rang, the voices of various students overlapping themselves as he continued thinking on it. "So if this was today, then the last week…" he muttered, too quiet to be heard by really anyone.

"Heyyyy, Yosuke?"

There had to be some kind of pattern to it. There had to be. There was no way he'd get close to figuring this out if he couldn't find a connection…

"Hey!! Earth to Hanamura!!!"

"Huh?! Wha—?! Oh." Yu flinched, looking frantically around himself only to find the girl from before — he'd assumed that she was the Chie the journal mentioned last time, standing next to Yosuke's desk with her hands on her hips.

"What's with you today? You've been crazy levels of zoned out..."

"Just.. thinking, I guess."

Chie snickers. "Wow, pretty dangerous work there."

Yu glanced down at the journal still resting in his bag, wondering when he could take a good look at it. "Was there anything on the Midnight Channel lately?"

She shook her head. "We saved Yukiko already and she's been recovering the past few days, so I hope not… doesn't look like it'll be raining again for a while either."

"Hmm… if there's nothing left to do but wait, would you like to hang out sometime?" He'd only ever heard about her from Yosuke's notes. That day with Makoto last week lit some kind of fire in him. He needed to reach out. Make connections.

Her expression flipped from teasing to annoyed suspicion, tensing up like she was about to strike him for even asking that. "If this is about going on a date or something, I swear to God, Yosuke—"

Yu dialed back, putting a hand up to try and de-escalate the situation. "Oh, no no! I-I'm serious. I want to hang out with you."

Chie's posture relaxed, if only slightly, but the skepticism remained. "Who are you and what did you do with the real Yosuke…?"

"I'm… right here?" It felt awkward to refer to himself that way, but really, how could he even explain the fact that Yosuke was who knows how many kilometers away from him out in the city and he— Yu, was in his place, basically possessing him?!

"You're clearly joking! Come on, spit it out already. What do you really want from me?"

"I already said…?"

"Wait, hold on," Chie blinked, looking as if he'd said something wrong. "It almost sounds like you're actually being serious for once."

Yu nodded, standing up. "I am."

She didn't respond, jaw dropping from shock. He tilted his head, then shrugged casually.

"Pick someplace and we can do whatever. I'm not picky."

"Well, you do still owe me for scaring me to death back when we started investigating this thing… let's grab some steak bowls at Aiya's. I'll consider it part of the pay."

He smiled and he grabbed his bag. "Sure, see you there."

Yu dug out Yosuke's wallet just as the class was clearing out for the day, and was almost immediately struck by an arrow of shame. Here he goes, doing the same thing Yosuke did the first time they switched…

'Really hope this Aiya's place has good prices… sorry, Yosuke.'

Half an hour passed, and Yu found himself sitting at a table across from Chie as they were served two decently sized steak bowls.

He winced as he paid for the meal, noting how little yen was left behind. This definitely would send Yosuke back a few weeks of pay… oops.

Chie's grin as the bowls were brought out, though, kind of made up for it in Yu's eyes. "Ohh yes, this is the good stuff!!"

Yu didn't reply, taking solace in the silence as he ate, an explosion of flavors stirred into the sauce. Something about it tasted… nicer, than the bowls he'd gotten from Ore no Beko whenever he was too tired to cook that night. It tasted better than that, actually.

The same, cursed but lovely four letter word found its way skittering back into Yu's mind, and he couldn't help himself.

Home. This tasted like home.

"This is... really good," he said just as he was finishing up. "You've got some great taste."

Chie rolled her eyes, but her casual smile remained. "And you seem like you're a totally different person today, but I guess if we're just saying the obvious…"

"Heh," if only she could see how true the statement was. "Like that'd ever happen."

"Y'know… you might be a pain in the neck sometimes, but you're a fun pain in the neck to have around at least. I didn't think I'd get wrapped up in all this investigation stuff until you were dead set on it, and as terrifying as this stuff is… I'm kinda having a blast!"

"Really," Yu stood up as they got done with their meal, heading for the door. "How so?"

"Are you kidding me?" Chie laughed, her grin brightening as they left. "I get to be a hero! I get to save people and kick Shadows to bits! I can be just like the cool heroes I watched all the time as a kid! It honestly doesn't feel real yet!"

"Hm, well I'm glad for you." a twinge of jealousy flickered through Yu's chest, but he smiled anyway. That sounded like a great time, despite the risk… He wondered, were it not for his parents shackling him to their own careers importance instead of letting him live his childhood, would he have gotten to be one too? Could he have been a hero like her…? Like Yosuke…?

Ha… like that'd ever happen.

"We've got a lot left to handle though, don't we?"

"Yeah, we don't even know who's gonna be next or why they're doing what their doing!"

"Are there… any similarities between the first two victims?"

"Hmm," Chie spun around as she thought aloud, walking backwards. "Well, first it was Ms. Yamano, then Saki after she found the body, and now Yukiko if we hadn't helped her in time…"

"All women, then…"

"Hey, that's actually a good point! The killer's victims have all been female so far!" She stopped in front of a house with a plaque labeled 'Satonaka', beaming excitedly. "You really aren't as stupid as you act, Yosuke! This is a big lead!"

"Mm." Yu wasn't sure if that was entirely a compliment, but nodded anyway. "Now all we have to do is wait for Yukiko-san to recover and keep our eyes on the Midnight Channel, yeah?"

"Mhm! We might be onto something here, and I've got you to thank for it!" She turned to go inside. "And thanks for the steak bowl, too! Consider your debt…partially paid off!"

They parted ways, and, now that he was alone, decided to kill more time by going back to that same spot as before.

The river.

He laid down in the grass, sighing in relief as the late afternoon sun shone its rays. How he missed this... if only he could be here, really be here. If only he could stay here, even…

A rustling within the bushes grabbed his attention, and Yu sat up. The source of the noise turned out to be a fox, pawing at the shallow waters for fish.

Then it suddenly looked straight at him, its eyes glimmering with an emotion he couldn't find a word for, before nodding and bounding away.

What a strange creature…

Time was still lazily drifting by as he soaked up the sunshine, and he decided it was about time he cracked open Yosuke's journal to take a look.

Hey… I don't mean to be invasive or anything (well, I mean, how much more invasive can you get when you're literally switching bodies twice a week, but you get what I mean, right?) but… is everything ok at home, Narukami? I noticed that you're alone almost all the time, and I know this weird situation hasn't been going on for long but… I'm here for you.

Yu swallowed, his hands suddenly trembling. That's right… he'd almost forgotten about the fact that he wasn't really himself right now…

He'd almost forgotten that Chie probably couldn't be his friend as much as he wanted it to be, just from one afternoon…

He wanted Inaba to be his home, but it was hard to truly know it when you weren't yourself…

Oh…

Now that's a depressing thought…

Even now, he couldn't be himself.

Even now, he was hiding how he really felt. Who he really was.

Even now, this was just another mask…

No.

No, this wouldn't be it for him. He needed to stop getting swallowed by this abyss of loneliness and take action.

There was still time before Junes closes…

Maybe his cousin wouldn't mind him stopping for dinner again…!

On his way there, however, he spotted a familiar child.

"Oh, it's you from before! Hi!"

"Hey." Yu said, joining her side and trying to appear like he was just casually passing by. "Heading home?"

"Mhm. I grabbed some rice and beef to make gyudon for dinner!"

"Mind if I join you?" Crap, he forgot to think of an excuse…! "A-As an apology for running out so suddenly the last time, I mean!"

The girl hummed in thought for a moment, then nodded with a smile so bright Yu knew it'd rooted itself into his memory. "I think Dad's gonna be home tonight too, so we can both thank you for the ramen!"

"You sure you won't need any assistance? I'm actually a pretty good cook."

"Hmm… ok, you can help. We can make it together!"

Home really was the word of the day for Yu, wasn't it…

Making dinner himself had always been something he just… did.

Yu rarely, if ever, had been served dinner by someone else, nor had dinner with family, but when he heard the door open as he was cooking the eggs, it was like he was swept away into a dream again.

"Oh, Hanamura," His uncle's voice was far less questioning than last time. "You're here again?"

Yu smiled somewhat awkwardly as he finished up cooking the eggs. "Sorry, sorry. I just thought I'd lend a hand."

Dojima's expression changed, now appearing relaxed as he chuckled. "Guess I never got to tell you properly, but thank you again. Nanako here has been talking my ear off about how nice you were last week."

'Nanako… that's a nice name.'

"It's ready, Dad!"

"Do you want to stay for dinner, Hanamura? Wouldn't want you to miss out on enjoying something you went through the effort to help make."

No. No, stop it, tears. Stop it, stop it, stop it! There will be no crying tonight, happy tears or not! Nope!

"Yeah… I'd like that."

About halfway through, Dojima's phone rang and Nanako's smile dropped as he stood up, and answered.

"Nagako? What is it?"

Yu fought himself not to flinch at the sound of his mother's name, and continued listening.

"You're traveling for work again, huh? Well, if you're gonna be away for a while, why don't I—" he stiffened, then his tone took a sharp turn to frustration. "What do you mean he won't be staying with us?! I would've taken him in immediately, no questions asked!"

Chopsticks clattered against bowl as Yu's blood all but reached an absolute zero, forcing himself to breathe out the constriction in his ribcage.

He knew just who it was they were talking about. And that person was currently struggling to breathe, struggling to move, a ghost witnessing a conversation he never knew existed — a conversation he was never meant to see, until that moment…

"You—You're going overseas and you're just—leaving him there?!?" Dojima's voice was now burning with fury, despite sounding further and further away. "Nagako, do you have any idea what you're doing to the poor kid?!… I don't think letting him stay in an apartment by himself is 'raising him to have actual self respect'!"

Nanako frowned as she picked at the gyudon. "I think that's why Aunt Nagako doesn't come visit…"

"Oh…?" Yu choked out, just barely able to save himself.

"Nagako, just- can you at least TRY to be reasonable?!? The boy needs some stability and care, especially during as rough of a time he's having at that age — and if you can't be there as his own mother, I've said I will take him in any time, so what's the problem?!… Oh." The fire in Dojima's voice cooled down, but hardened into something so angry that it couldn't even be heat. It was the kind of anger that sparked true fear. Anger that was stilled. Controlled.

Livid.

"Oh. So that's how it is, huh? Hmph. Glad to know my town and my family is just undignified trash to you! Don't even think about calling this number again. Goodbye, Nagako. Have a nice business trip."

His voice ended the call bitter, and he sighed in annoyance as he sat back down. "Sorry about that… hm? Are you okay, Hanamura? You don't look well…"

"Oh, um…" Yu stood up as soon as it got quiet, tremors shaking through his veins and his body as fragile as glass. One more second here and he's sure he'd break… He swallowed, his voice sounding weak. "I-I'm okay, ah, um.. I'm sorry I heard that. Thank you for the meal, and h-have a…" he took a breath, chest quaking. Keep it together. Keep it together. "Have a good rest of your night…"

"Wait," Dojima reached out to him just as Yu got to the door. "I should be the one apologizing to you. I'm so sorry you had to hear all that, but it's alright now. You're welcome to come by anytime."

"…Really?"

He nodded, then looked back at Nanako, who was practically glowing with excitement at the idea. "You're a good kid, you know. Just the kind of company my daughter needs. I'll try to be home as much as I can, but if I'm not, I'm sure Nanako will call your dad and ask if you can come over."

Keep it together. Keep it together. Please, please, keep it together…!

He simply nodded, turning his back so he could leave, because otherwise Yu thought he'd faint from how lightheaded and hard to breathe it was getting…

Once he was outside, Yu spun on his heel and ran.

His family wanted him here… his family wanted him here and he didn't even know…

He couldn't even see them if he wasn't using Yosuke for it…

Pathetic… how cowardly…

His mother had occasionally tore into him about it being his fault she got cut off, and now he knew why…

Storming up into Yosuke's room after just barely exchanging greetings with his own parents, Yu slid downward and collapsed into a ball on the floor, still trembling with too many emotions at once hitting him one after the other…

He wanted to cry, but somehow, his body was too exhausted to even do that…

Can you grieve someone you never truly met before…?

Can you really deserve to feel relieved by being included in something as intimate as family when it wasn't the real you that was invited in…?

Oh, how Yu's heart ached to be here as himself… but no.

No. That wasn't allowed.

Completely and utterly drained of his energy, Yu stood up and sat the journal on Yosuke's desk, hunching over slightly to answer about his home before closing it and dragging himself to bed.

Please… don't worry about me. It's my stupid problem anyway and I have to deal with it. It's just how things have to be.

Yu drifted off to sleep, bitter at his life and envious of the boy who had everything he wanted. A family who cared, friends who'd be there for him, a place to call home… just out of his reach. Just able to be reached if he wasn't really in his own body…

Maybe he was wrong after all…

These tender, soft feelings of family with the Dojima's and trying to be friends with Chie or anyone else in Inaba weren't real after all…

Because Yu knew the moment he woke up, he'd still be there in his apartment, the same way things always were.

All alone.

Notes:

I will stan supportive parent Dojima till the day I die.

Unfortunately I see Yu’s parents as terrible so… yikes.

Chapter 13: I Can’t Face Them

Summary:

Yosuke decides to go into the TV at Yu’s apartment.

Notes:

I love making P4 ost references in song titles

If there was one thing that freaked Yosuke out more than anything when the swap happened, it was the creepy ass rain that kept falling despite going on for, what, almost a month now?

Just how did Yu not get cabin fever?!

He'd started leaving the TV on, news chattering away in the background but never paying attention, unless the topic of that weather induced illness came up.

He shivered as he walked over to the countertop, intent on redirecting his focus to something else, so it was time for the usual.

Flipping open Yu's journal, Yosuke sat in the kitchen, looking through what he wrote and trying to see if he did anything since last time.

"Huh," he thought aloud, a particularly long note from Yu catching his attention. "Working together…?"

The bit about his parents though was what really got his blood boiling. They didn't tell Yu anything, but they were hiding something. Something beyond important, Yosuke had to guess, especially if it warranted basically abandoning him to fend for himself and dodging any kind of questions about it… he couldn't blame Yu for not letting this go.

He looked back at the note.

So… what do you say? Will you help me?

He waited a beat before writing something down.

Yeah, I'll help you out. I can understand kids hiding stuff from their parents, but the other way around… why would they hide something about their own family…? And from you, their own son…? Sounds sketchy, if you ask me…

Whatever you need me to do, write it down on the next page. I'll do the same when I get back so we both know where we're going.

I'll be counting on you, partner.

Yosuke closed the journal and found himself staring at the TV again, face twisting into a mortified cringe as a statistic popped onto the screen, and the headline below?

'Current hospitalizations from cases of mysterious 'Vantablack Syndrome' disease: 230 and rising. Authorities still clueless about its origin.'

Yosuke felt a chill course through his body. Just the name of that illness was unnerving…

Actually, come to think of it… he'd only been here three times so far, but it just now occurred to him that there was something he hadn't tried.

Yosuke switched the TV off, walked over to the screen, and reached out his hand. Sure enough, it slid right through.

He drew it back, wondering for a moment if he should even do this…

Curiosity overpowered his caution, calling back to what Teddie had said about entering from the same spot, and he went through.

The building he'd emerged in was old and worn down, and the rain outside was ceaseless…

Considering it could be foggy in the TV, he'd figured other weather could occur too, but something stuck out..

"If it's raining here…" he watched as a flash of light pierced through the dark clouds, followed by an explosion of orange in the distance and booming THUD pulsed through the ground, shaking the shelter so much that Yosuke nearly lost his balance.

A tree of that distant forest, felled by lightning and wind. He looked back at the TV he'd came through, blinking in confusion. If he squinted, he could see the faint swirls of dust that danced with every movement in the room.

"Shouldn't it be sunny over there…?"

Yosuke pushed a mental thumbtack into his corkboard of questions and things to note to Yu, then continued on his way.

His blood turned cold when he opened the door, met with a foggy graveyard that, on closer inspection, all had cities carved on them…

Were these…?

"It doesn't matter."

Yosuke gasped quietly. That voice…!

"Yu…?"

"It doesn't matter what I do, who I meet, where I am… I'll always be alone." Yu's voice echoed faintly in the breeze, as if the wind itself was carrying its reach. "It's not like I have a choice, anyway. I just need to do as I'm told…"

Yosuke wanted to protest, but he moved before he could think, passing the gravestones and into the path beyond it, listening closely for any other voices… or Shadows.

As he reached a barren clearing, he heard another few voices speak, their tones and ages varied.

"What a weird kid…"

"He's so closed off…"

"Think he's actually some kind of robot?"

"Don't look at him for too long, that glare could probably burn holes in your head!"

Yosuke exhaled sharply, the gears of what those voices were snapping into place almost immediately.

It was just like her.

Saki…

"Don't bother to wait for us, Yu. We're not coming home."

"But you guys said you would…"

"Yes, but we need to keep that home running, don't we? Don't bother waiting, eat without us then go to bed."

"You always say that, but I haven't gotten to see you for almost two months."

Yosuke's heart, if for but a second, stopped beating. He didn't know how he knew it, he didn't know why, but there was no mistaking it.

That voice was of a young, possibly preteen age Yu… and his parents, who called him not to check up, not to tell him they loved him and hoped he was safe by himself, but for him to not wait for them…

Before he could try and yell at them to stop, Yu's voice — the voice of the body Yosuke was borrowing, reverberated through the breeze a second time.

"I'll leave them all behind… it doesn't matter how much I've done or who I've gotten close to… I'll always leave them behind in the end…" it sounded strained, like it was going to cry. "What's the point in making friends at all if I'm just going to abandon them all in the dust and they'll forget my insignificant existence anyway…!?"

He'd never spoken to Yu in person, but just the anguish in his voice alone told the story of a heartbreakingly lonely, neglected child…

"This time… I won't care." it continued, the sorrow tinged red with anger, as if pushed to the breaking point. "This time, I'm cutting myself off! Life without connections to people is miserable, and if that's what my parents want for me, so be it!! I can't get hurt if I never let anyone in! N-Never again!!"

Now it made sense…

The graves, the rainy weather...

He was never allowed to truly sit and enjoy himself, to stay in the moment and feel.

Yu's life was constantly moving, constant noise, constant chatter, a new rotation of peers he'd slowly frozen the walls of his heart toward…

And his parents didn't care.

Yu was not allowed to be himself, to feel, to be free… to live…

And, somehow, that last part made Yosuke's next breath all the shakier.

A few tears escaped his eyes without him noticing… how? Just how long had Yu felt this lonely and miserable to the point he'd accepted his pain and decided not to voice how hurt he was?

How hurt he still is…

This world was the world inside Yu's heart, and it broke Yosuke's to know that it was this cold and empty…

He turned around, knowing he'd seen too much. He needed to go back before this was even more of an invasion of privacy than the literal body possession he was doing.

He heard one last thing as he got to the squalor of a building, but it didn't break him. If anything, it was a match.

"I know its killing me on the inside… That it's suffocating here, but I can't leave Mother or Father, even though I wish I could've left this hell three years ago…"

"…I can't face them."

And those last four words lit the brightest, hottest fire in Yosuke's bloodstream.

It hurts to face yourself, he knew that much, but facing people who should care, who should love you, but don't — it was another beast entirely. Yosuke had no leg in this race, he couldn't force the Narukami's to change and it wasn't his right to confront them on Yu's behalf.

No. Yu needed the catharsis of telling these neglectful pieces of garbage what's what, and if he needed help, Yosuke knew for damn sure he'd back him up.

He left the TV with a new goal in mind, immediately rushing to the journal and opening to the page he'd wrote on before.

Hey, I'm gonna be straightforward with you: your parents? Complete monsters. You deserve better than this, and I want to help you break free from them. I'm not taking no for an answer on this, no way am I letting you suffer alone anymore, partner!

I'm seriously not joking when I say that you deserve better… I hope you can see that.

Looking back at the TV, Yosuke remembered the broadcast from earlier.

Oh yeah, um, also, the rain over here is REALLY starting to freak me out! The hell is going on!? I have no idea but it's very creepy…!! Shouldn't it be sunny over here if it's raining in the TV? Isn't that weird, partner? The TV is like the opposite of our world. If it's foggy out in Inaba, it's clear in there, you get what I mean.

He wasn't sure why he'd used that title three times now, but since they were working together, it at least fit nicely. Plus, it felt right. They were more than (hopefully) friends. They were partners.

'Partners…' he thought absently, leaning back in the chair as he finished writing.

Huh…

Yosuke could get used to that.

Notes:

Hey, that plot looks like it’s thickening, how crazy is that?
(Obligatory Teddie thickens too joke)

Chapter 14: Dark Storm

Summary:

Taking a risk, Yu decides to investigate the poisonous rain by himself. What he didn't expect was for it to nearly be a death sentence.

Notes:

Me, casually sipping on my angst juice: needs more zombie outbreak vibes.

Jokes aside I toyed with the idea that I would have to up the rating for this chapter specifically but it doesn’t get suuuuper disturbing yet so uh I’m gonna keep it at T for now.

You deserve better than this.

Those words. Those five words hung in Yu's mind the morning he'd gotten up and he wasn't ready for that twinge of achingly familiar pain followed by an unfamiliar but not unwelcome relief.

How was Yosuke this nice to him…? He barely even knew him, but yet he was suggesting the impossible…

Him? Standing up to his parents…? That couldn't happen. Not if he wanted to still have a roof over his head.

Still, Yosuke's compassion made this usually rainy morning just a little bit warmer, and he smiled softly at it. Yu ran his fingers over the word 'partner', wondering why that name almost made him nostalgic…

It… shouldn't be, right? They'd only met almost a month ago, nevermind they've only ever interacted with each other through letters.

So why did it feel like they were closer than that?

'I'm probably just imagining things…'

Yu shook the thought out of his mind and walked to the kitchen, another thought planting itself into his garden of things to do for the day. The fridge had gotten bare, and maybe it was the evenings with Dojima and Nanako, but… he wanted to start cooking again. Cook the kind of meal that takes hours of time but is no less a labor of love.

He'd been so drained of his energy that he couldn't find it in himself to do that, even though he knew the smell of something warm cooking on the stove would shake away all the more… upsetting thoughts that fluttered through his mind.

He looked down at the note that started this entire entangled mess of feelings stirring in his chest, and balled his fists.

Here's something to start you off. Don't waste it.

Yu reached for the money that was left, then hesitated just as his palm covered the words. Waste. That was a rather strange way to phrase it, now that he was thinking on it. Waste not, want not, but what Yu wanted was for them to be home and actually enjoy his company three months ago.

So, by that logic, the real waste was Yu's time thinking that anything would change. Fine then.

Bitterly, he grabbed the cash and pocketed it, eyes narrowing at the half hearted warning. Maybe it was Yosuke's journaling he'd done, but he felt like today… wasn't going to be a day where everything panned out the same.

No. They couldn't see how he spent this.

'No, no. Shopping. I need to go shopping.'

Yu pulled on a coat and grabbed an umbrella, then headed out the door.

The streets were quiet, little specks of civilians every now and then crossing his peripheral vision, but for the most part it was eerily quiet. He squinted, stopping in his tracks a few times as he made his way to the same central street he'd shopped at before.

'Damn…it's getting really foggy out, isnt it..' he sighed, mentally smacking himself for not checking the weather before he decided to go out today. He knew of the constant rain, but this fog was… new. The rain hadn't stopped, merely getting softer in intensity, but it still unnerved him.

Regardless, Yu reached the store and spent a good thirty minutes looking through the produce aisle. He'd tried to avoid the instant meal section, his main vice when it came to nights where he couldn't find the energy to make anything with more effort than necessary.

He left with a good few bags of veggies and pre-ground meats, amongst other bits and pieces that he could probably use to make curry if he looked for the right spices… only, the moment he stepped out of the door, something felt wrong.

The air was thick, weighed down by an invisible but clearly sensible pressure. The fog got thicker and thicker, and Yu swore he saw a flock of birds scattering amidst the hazy sky.

The streets were barren, there was barely anything blaring through the screens, broadcasting to the city…

Yu swallowed, trying not to breathe in too much of the air… this really was strange, and a thorn in his side teared its way back up to his subconscious…

Why?

That question was the fuse that got his mind's alarm bells going off, but he ventured down a detour route anyway.

Things were fine… almost, but he couldn't deny that the more he was out here, the more he heard that voice.

His shadow, whispering indistinct nothings in his ears from several angles.

Then, suddenly, Yu all but froze where he stood, mind racing but unable to react. It was like the frigid melt of a glacier replaced every drop of his blood and like his organs were almost…

Melting.

He was shaking — violently, his head buzzing with too many thoughts, too many voices, too much everything — as his heart continued thundering loudly in skull.

Yu flinched, nearly jumping from contact with something slimy grabbing onto his leg, a dark shape beginning to tower over his back.

A hand.

A murky, dark, sludge like appendage grabbed onto his leg… and pulled aggressively.

He fell into a crumpled heap almost immediately and let out a strained scream, his voice hoarse as if he'd been shouting all this time, the sickeningly cruel voice of his other self getting louder and louder and louder…

"It's pointless to continue this stupid game…"

"You can't win…"

"You are going to die alone… and isn't that better? You won't be remembered… people weren't attached to you anyway… You. Are. Nothing. You. Are. Worthless."

Those two words kept stabbing into his brain repeatedly over and over, the strange dark blob grabbing at more and more of him. He strained himself to look behind him, and as if he'd couldn't grow more terrified, he wasn't met with a face.

He was met with a blank, unfeeling blue mask, its painted expression permanently despondent. It continued to drag him into the murk that made up its body, and the closer its mask got, his shadows voice only multiplied in frequency.

Yu let out another hopeless scream for help, his focus bleary and ears ringing as the voices began to overlap…

Why… why was he getting so tired all of a sudden?

Why was his body starting to relax..?!

He groaned weakly, choking out a noise he couldn't find a word for as the sludge monstrosity began pulling at him, vision so unfocused he could barely see in front of him.

All the while, his Shadow endlessly echoed those same words in his barely afloat mind, defeating his attempts to scream any further…

"Worthless worthless worthless worthless—"

"Nothing nothing nothing nothing—"

Time seemed to freeze, then speed back up to normal rhythm all at once as the sound of a gunshot just barely brushed past his ear…

Panic crashed into Yu's system like a tidal wave and he wheezed out a loud plea for help, moving unsteadily on his legs as whatever that… that thing was, screeched in pain and covered its mask-face, a bullet hole cracking it between the two beady eyes.

"Hey!!" A man's voice called out to him, though Yu's mind was still so deep in the darkness that he couldn't make out anything else… if anything, it was growing fainter and fainter by the second. "Stay with me, kid! Stay with me…!"

Yu tried to speak, but all the things he wanted to say were drowned out by the buzzing in his ears and immense pressure still weighing on his skull. It came out as another weak croak of pain, before his legs gave out…

The man's urgent voice from before felt closer, but still buried beneath the fog… "Hey, it's Adachi! I've got another potential victim of the Vantablack disease! Send paramedics immediately!"

'V..vanta…black?'

…then his vision, too, succumbed to the dark.

~•~

It was the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor that brought Yu's consciousness bubbling back up into wakefulness…

"Urgh… what.." Yu tried sitting up, only to be eased back down by a frazzled looking officer in a suit, who upon spotting he was awake, crossed his arms.

"I told you last week don't get involved in this…" he sighed in exasperation, then looked straight at him, a cold glint in his eye. "And just what do you do after that?"

Involved? What was he— oh, wait a second.

'God damn it, Yosuke…'

The man pulled out a badge from his suit jacket. "Tohru Adachi. Detective for the Tokyo Police."

Yu stared, still uneasy. "What happened…"

"How're you holding up?" He stepped a little closer and spoke significantly quieter. "Do you still feel in control?"

"Control?! What—"

"Shh! Keep your voice down, not many people know about my theory and I don't want to cause any panic."

Theory? What was going on?!

"You know about Vantablack Syndrome, don't you? I've heard that any time you're out in the rain, you start hearing voices after a while. Next thing you know, a black ooze just starts bleeding from your head. Then… you turn into one of them."

Yu swallowed. "Them…?"

"The monster that attacked you." Adachi clarified, looking at him with a faint concern. "Back to what I said before; How are you feeling?"

He took a look around the room, his memory clearing up. "Fine, I think… just a bit lightheaded."

At this, Adachi looked surprised. "You're serious? You don't hear any voices? Any at all?"

He shook his head. "When that weird thing was grabbing me, I heard several… but I don't hear any now."

"Hah… haha! This is…amazing!"

Yu raised an eyebrow, immediately confused by the reaction. Adachi lightly gripped his shoulders before speaking in hushed tones again.

"So there are exceptions to my theory…!"

"What… are you talking about?"

"Nobody who's been out in the rain has been able to stop the disease from completely taking them over." He nodded in the direction of Yu's umbrella and the bag of groceries. "At least, not until you did."

"And me being the exception means… what, exactly?"

"First thing's first: don't tell anyone else about this. Not your parents, not your friends, nobody. Got that?" When he nodded in response, Adachi grinned. "Good. Now remember that bit about you not getting involved? Forget what I said. I'm gonna be needing your help from here on out."

Yu's face turned skeptical. "With what…?"

"Do you not realize how big of a breakthrough you just made?! If you can survive being in contact with those things without losing your mind, we might have a fighting chance at getting rid of them!"

"What do you need me to do?"

"Look for any monsters like the one that nearly got you, then call me." He handed him a small piece of paper with his phone number on it. "If worst comes to worst… aim for the mask."

"Wait, what about the police? Shouldn't you need back up?"

Adachi's posture, for a split second, stiffened. "They're… busy with other cases. Just leave this stuff to me and you."

Yu stared back down at the number, then looked over to Adachi as he got to the door. So much happened and he still couldn't fully process it, even though he was completely conscious. "Aim for the mask…"

"They're not human anymore..." He heard Adachi say to himself. "It's really a shame that things turned out this way, huh?"

Before he could ask more questions, the detective left the room, and the doctor who entered a few minutes later seemed just as shocked as Adachi to see Yu awake.

Details passed, and it was only into the latest hours of the night that he was thankfully discharged, but he wasn't tuned in on it. Something about not affording to waste any rooms on patients that were mostly fine, like he was.

If people were somehow turning into those monsters, it was no wonder why they rushed him out…

Everything else that evening was a blur, but Yu had known for sure he'd taken a train back to the general area where the apartment was… his memories were muddled, but at least he hadn't forgotten anything.

The moment he got home, Yu collapsed into his bed, then tiredly stared out his window.

The sight of the small, cheerful looking teru teru bōzu hanging next to the latch brought a bit of his strength back, at least. He smiled slightly at it, knowing exactly who it was that was responsible for it being there.

Today was… a lot, but Yu knew one thing.

If he ever ran into one of those things again, it'd be too damn soon.

Notes:

I’m sure everything is okay guys, trust :)

Chapter 15: Smokescreens of Avoidance

Summary:

Yosuke clashes with the team regarding rescuing Kanji, and it only gets worse when prodded for the reason why.

Notes:

Ohh boy, it’s the Kanji arc guys.

"Ehh… I don't think it's time yet, guys."

"Oh, for the love of— Yosuke!!" There was a slam of fist to table. "Come on!!"

Yep. There it was. Chie's reaction that he was not in fact ready to go into a bathhouse that most likely would destroy his dignity for all eternity.

He leaned back, looking away with a grimace. "I just- need some more time!"

Yukiko looked between the two of them, somewhat unimpressed. "You said that the past six days, Yosuke-kun. Are you sure you're not just stalling?"

"Wh—stalling?! I-I'm not stalling! What kind of leader do you take me for?!" Yosuke crossed his arms defensively and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, have a little faith in me, geez..."

Chie shot him a look then stood up, a smug grin on her face. "Okay, leader, if you're not stalling, then what's the hold up? Why don't we just go in right now and save Kanji-kun? You can't say you need more time!"

"I—uh…" he swallowed, his attention falling to the ground immediately. He hated being the leader when it came to stuff like this. Hated, hated, hated it!! Usually it'd be easy, but noooo, just gotta get scarred for life so he could save another victim from the killer! Totally fine with that.

He wasn't, actually.

'Ugh this sucks! Okay, Hanamura. Think. Can't use more time, so… aha!'

He pulled out some of the stray materials he'd gotten from the last time. "Just, uh— give me a couple minutes to get these to the metalworker back in the shopping district and grab some more medicine, I'll be back!"

"But you just—"

He couldn't hear her, for he'd already put his headphones back on and walked away with a huff. If he could hear Chie though, this strategy meeting probably wouldn't get anywhere, and the last thing he wanted to do (besides go into the cursed bathhouse) was throw hands with her in the middle of a Junes food court.

As he waited outside for Daidara to finish up his work, Yosuke hummed a song with no name as he watched the clouds drift lazily above the shopping district, as if they had all the time in world.

The sight of such a serenely blue sky, so simple yet so beautiful, reminded him of Yu and a part of his soul grieved for his partner knowing he probably hadn't seen such good weather in a long time…

'I think I get why he enjoyed laying in the grass that first day now…'

Why couldn't he be here? Hell, what would've happened if he became the leader of this whole thing? He'd probably do a better job than this…

Yosuke grumbled to himself, fidgeting with his hands in his pockets. He knew the excuse was weak, but damn… he didn't want to see that again. Yu would probably be way more rational about these kinds of things… From what little of his writings told him, the guy was apologetic to a fault but had the patience of a saint and a kind heart Yosuke knew right away he wanted to protect.

God, that metalworker must've really needed to open a door… it was probably just the hot air from that furnace in the back of the store that was making Yosuke's face feel like it had been sunburned… sheesh..

He paid for the new weapons and left the shopping district, hoping he could come up with another excuse before he got back to the table he'd designated as their 'headquarters'.

"Ok good, you're back, now let's go!"

Shit, Chie catches onto his bluff fast…! Think!! "Uhh…"

"Yosuke-kun," Yukiko interrupted, looking at him quizzically even though he hadn't thought about anything remotely useable for a second excuse. "Why are you so nervous about this?"

Yosuke stiffened at the question, setting the bag of new weapons down but making sure to keep it closed. "Ah, hm, I wonder why…!" He hissed sarcastically, before shrugging with a plastered, obviously fake smile on his face. "It's only the most uncomfortable thing to witness maybe ever!"

"Wh—you mean the bathhouse?!" She looked at him like he was being ridiculous.

"Yes!! You all saw what was on TV that night, so how can you not be uncomfortable about it?!"

Chie and Yukiko exchanged glances, going from exasperated to almost unfazed. "Really…?"

"Wh— do you guys not get it?!" He gestured wildly at nothing in particular. They didn't get it! They really didn't get that this was something they'd have to do in order to save Kanji! "My innocence is on the line here!!"

This time it was Yukiko who slammed her hands on the table to stand up. "Yeah well, so is Kanji's life!! Would it kill you to be at least a little sensible?!"

Chie, meanwhile, looked at him with the most aghast expression. "Yosuke, you can't be serious…"

He gritted his teeth, then sighed in frustration. "…Fine. We'll do it…" He waited a moment, then turned away. "…Tomorrow for sure."

"Wh—you—You've said that the past six days!!"

Well. Here goes his last ditch attempt to save his dignity… God, these decisions were hell to make…

"I'm calling this meeting off," Yosuke huffed, then began walking away. "We'll meet back up here after school tomorrow."

"Yosuke!!"

Whatever they were yelling at him was lost to the warm winds of early summer.

Damn it, damn it, damn it!!

Once he got far enough away from the storefront, Yosuke's pace picked up into a sprint, running past the shopping district, past the shrine, then he somehow found himself back at the floodplain again.

He walked down to the base of the stairs to let himself breathe, the hum of the shallow waters sending his mind elsewhere.

'Why…Why can't they see it…?'

Hmph.. he knew they had to do this, they had to save him, but it was exactly that reason why he couldn't handle being the leader…

He knew a part of him was being selfish, but the same thought trickled back into his mind as he continued to stew…

What if he wasn't the leader?

What if Yu was here and was the one handling all this coordination business instead…? He'd be able to handle it so much better… so much more rationally…

He much preferred whatever world had him here instead… at least then, Yosuke wouldn't feel like he had his back up against the wall…

Maybe, if only things had turned out just a tiny bit differently, he could actually have his partner by his side.

Yosuke sighed, then fell backwards into the grass, his mind stuck in a loop of those two cursed words.

If only.

Notes:

Hmm hmm, so it begins.

Chapter 16: Unneeded Permissions

Summary:

Yu keeps declining calls from his parents, and takes a leap of faith: Inviting Haru over for lunch.

Notes:

A break from the angst! Crazy, I know

Okay, so, Yu was definitely going to either change his ringtone the moment he was actually conscious and willing to get out of bed or completely silence calls all together, because this was getting ridiculous.

He groaned in a fatigued annoyance, pressing the end call button the moment he saw 'Mother' pop up with more force than he'd warranted it before.

Lately, he'd been woken up morning after morning of his parents calling him, and he had no idea why. Well, not like they'd given him a reason to care or pick up for that matter. It was probably just a call to chastise him again, so he decided, after the third missed call, to not answer on purpose.

They hardly cared before, why would they care now?

He sat up and groggily rubbed his eyes as his phone rang again, 'Father' coming up this time. Scowling, he pressed his thumb into the end call button again and threw it haphazardly toward his pillow as he got up.

The paper with Adachi's number was still sitting on his desk, abandoned and slightly crumpled.

As much as he wanted to believe the things that detective said about working together, something he could only describe as an undefined emotion continuously stirring in Yu's gut, told him it was better to not fully commit to it, so he never saved it as a contact and made a promise to himself not to.

God, if his parents heard about this, he may as well have signed his death warrant…

Still, the day dragged on and he found himself digging through the fridge for something to make for breakfast…

'I suppose I could try my hand at the sandwiches Yosuke got… he seems like he has a sweet tooth…'

It was, thankfully, as simple of a recipe as one could get. White bread, whipped cream and fruit. The fruit of choice was up to his discretion, and while Yu didn't have as much of an appetite for fruit, peaches called to him today for no reason he could parse through.

Maybe it was the still occurring rainy weather, but the sweet and warm was like a sirens song he couldn't seem to resist. It was a warm tea kind of morning, and it almost made him nostalgic…

Continuing the theme of heart first schedule later decisions, Yu made an extra sandwich, boxing it and setting it next to where the other fruit sandwiches used to be. Maybe just maybe when the next swap occurred he'd notice. Since they were on amicable terms, the one thing Yu could think of to show his appreciation was cook for him.

'It's a shame I won't get to see Yosuke's reaction…'

As he sipped his morning tea, a casual, warm thought came to mind, and he smiled.

Okumura-chan would like something like this, wouldn't she?

It had been awhile since they'd talked, especially with school being canceled for what was coming up on a month, so meeting for a chat would be rather nice…

He didn't need his parents permission to enjoy himself, even in this weather. Perhaps it was Yosuke's words of encouragement last time that he kept reading over and over again, but… Yu found himself almost welcoming the morning, its comfy silence a brief respite from the usual spiral of loneliness.

Though, he couldn't deny this would be better if Yosuke could, well… actually be with him and share a warm drink, chat about nothing and everything, and just be together… really get to know each other.

Hearing his voice would feel so much nicer if it wasn't Yu speaking through it, but if he could respond to it…

Oof… he must've made the tea too hot, because now his face felt like it was radiating more heat than the actual apartments heating system…

He used the flushed state of his cheeks as an excuse to set the cup down, heading back to his room to grab his phone and call Haru.

"Hello? Okumura-chan?"

"Oh, hello Narukami-senpai! How are you enjoying the weather?"

Yu flattened his lips, his face turning into a cringe as he watched dark clouds roll overhead, occasionally broken by flashes of lightning. "I've been… better, I suppose, but that's kind of why I called."

"Oh?"

"Would you like to join me for lunch?"

There was a moment of silence, but Haru replied, no less cheerful than when she picked up. "Sure! That'd be lovely!"

Good… perfect, so he'd have company. "Does tomorrow work for you?"

"Mhm! I'm free since Father's handling some things with Okumura Foods. He said I could do as I wished for tomorrow as long as I didn't forget to study."

At the mention of Okumura-san, Yu's grip on his phone tightened, reminded of his own father. "Hey, do you think…" Just as quickly as the question bloomed to life, it wilted away as he cut himself off. "Mm..nevermind…"

"Is something the matter? You seem troubled."

"Ah, it's… it's nothing, don't worry about it." He paused, before taking a breath and walking over to his kitchen. "Would you like me to make anything in particular?"

"Hmm… anything's fine with me, but how about some curry?"

"What a coincidence," he laughed. "I went shopping for ingredients the other day."

"Oh! So it works out perfectly then."

"Mhm. I'll see you tomorrow past noon."

"Yep! See you then, Narukami-senpai!"

He hung up a moment later, wincing at his phone ringing not a second afterwards. His mother.

Sighing, Yu declined the call, abandoning his phone on the counter to return to his breakfast, and maybe look back at his journal, leave a note for Yosuke just in case…

Hey, just in case this reaches you tomorrow, I made you breakfast. It's in the fridge where your sandwiches were. Really hope you like peaches.

Also, I'm going to have company tomorrow. Expected to make curry. (Sorry, haha)

Closing the journal, Yu embraced the quiet, using the time alone to think. Think about where he truly stood in life…

He could, hopefully, leave this all behind once he graduated. That is, if he lived here long enough to do so… Commute had gotten worse with the storms, and Yu wasn't particularly pleased about having to stay in crammed train cars.

One day, hanging up on his parents wouldn't spark the feeling of bitterness and fear at the back of his throat.

One day, just maybe, he could be where his true family was.

Maybe, one day, he could go home.

Notes:

I’m sure this will totally go well for both of them :)

Chapter 17: Silent Treatment

Summary:

Due to Yosuke's lackluster attempts at stalling, Yu must brave the TV world of Inaba…

Wait, why are Yukiko and Chie looking at him funny?

Notes:

Uh ohhhhh eheheheh

The moment Yu opened his eyes, he couldn't stop the "Damn it…!" that came out of his mouth. They'd switched again, and at the worst possible time.

Great… please know how to make curry Yosuke, or else the decision was a completely accidental disaster!!

He sat up, the phone at his bedside going off. A text from Chie.

Yo, we are going in today, right?

You said tomorrow.

Yu blinked at the messages, but replied anyway.

Huh?

Immediately, Chie replied.

What do you mean 'huh'?! Into the TV to save Kanji, you idiot!!

He swallowed. Oh no…

Oh, right. Sorry.

Yu mentally crossed his fingers, hoping whoever this Kanji person was alright and that it would be a get in get out situation.

Thankfully he didn't have school to deal with… sheesh. Even more so, there was a small bag with the label 'Midnight Channel Stuff' in his closet, so at the very least he wouldn't be going in completely blind… just, about 80% blind.

And into a world where people who show up on a powered off TV quite possibly will die.

Y'know. No pressure.

'Okay, so… it was the electronics department…'

He made his way there after a quick goodbye to Yosuke's parents, who expressed mild surprise that he was up particularly early, and was met with Chie, and a girl with long black hair who he'd assumed was the Yukiko she mentioned last time.

"Wow, I can't believe you actually kept your word." Chie remarked, sounding halfway between sarcastic and joking. He didn't react, but was no less confused by the tone. "C'mon, let's go."

Yu did not know what he expected, but a talking bear mascot and having to go into a bathhouse was not on that list.

As they walked through it, the steam felt almost suffocating and even weirder still, like there was an invisible hand tightly gripping Yu's throat, but not completely choking him. The longer it went on though, the more it felt like he had been cursed with the absolute worst case of dry throat to ever exist.

He heard Chie scoff from behind him. "Wow, someone's talkative today."

The bear-mascot thing — Teddie, was it?, eyed him with confusion that Yu couldn't help but match. "No, he's not. I've never seen him this quiet before!"

"That's called sarcasm, Teddie…" Yukiko replied, her gaze also shifting towards Yu and making him all but stop in his tracks. "Though, it is weird to see him this silent. What's up, Yosuke-kun?"

"I feel like I swallowed an entire box of thumbtacks…" Yu wanted to say, but even though his mind made an effort to speak, not a sound came out.

This was not how the human body was supposed to work.

He tried to speak again, only to feel as though he got body slammed to the ground, the same invisible hand gripping his throat even harder than it did a second ago.

This was REALLY not how the human body was supposed to work!!!

'W-what the hell?!'

Obviously panicking now, Yu looked over to his supposed teammates for help as he wordlessly gestured at his neck. He had no idea what he was in for, but this was not a good introduction to what the Midnight Channel was…!!

"Geez, what's got you so worked u— oh."

"What? What is it?" were the words he wanted to say, but couldn't. He'd never been much for words to begin with, let alone speaking about his feelings, but this was… different.

Something about being completely robbed of his voice even if it wasn't truly his, was terrifying, especially so when the two girls looked between themselves, him, and Teddie with worry.

Glowing green chains had somehow snaked themselves around Yu's neck, almost as if those were burning into his throat. The source of his sudden silence…

At the sight, Chie's face paled. "H-hey, Teddie? If this is like last time, are we gonna have to fight Kanji's hidden thoughts without Jiraiya?"

Teddie shrugged, or, well, did the approximation of one, then stepped closer. "It's beary weird that you can't summon him… The Shadows haven't been acting up on this floor, so you couldn't have gotten silenced that way. Hrrrmmm…suspicious."

He did not like the way this bear was looking at him, burning holes into his skull.

Regardless of the weird looks though, he shuffled through the bag of equipment, looking for something to help him…

"Oh!" Yukiko exclaimed, spotting something after two minutes of fruitless rummaging. She picked up a can of soda labeled Amrita on the side. "Here, maybe this'll help."

He smiled in relief, opening the can and gulping down a bit of it. The taste was a mixture of sour and sweet that went down as some weird middle ground between when a soda had lost half its carbonation and melted ice water… huh.

He blinked slowly, trying not to wince at the undefinable emotion that coursed through him as he truly processed what it tasted like. Still, the irritation in his throat that literally left Yu speechless never left.

No change. Great.

Yu looked between the two, hoping his mental apologies would reach them, yet paradoxically taking immense relief that they thankfully weren't psychics. Because if they did know there was a 'Not-Yosuke' borrowing his body, that'd be a whole other problem entirely.

"Ok, so we all agree we're dead?"

"W-We're not dead, we just… need to think of a backup plan since our leader," Yukiko gave Yu a look, then continued. "…is less helpful than usual."

Chie elbowed Yu in the ribs, snickering. "Oh, so basically no change."

Was he supposed to react to that? Yosuke did mention that he's not exactly one for being the leader of things, so…

Opting to dig through the bag of equipment again in hopes that he'd find anything to make this less awkward, Yu stopped when he came across a decently sized pile of bright green crystals that seemed to circle each other in groups of four. Clumped together in a pile, yet strangely never getting entangled.

"Hey, that's right! We've got all those Pinwheels saved up!" Chie looked between Yu and the gems. "I know you usually hold onto those, but I think we miiiight need to use 'em this time."

The team was in agreement, at least for now, but Yu had never felt more awkward and out of place. He had so many questions, so many things to ask, but several things kept him quiet. He'd just have to do as he usually did and follow the others.

When they finally found Kanji, however, it was something familiar, yet also not at all.

The same glowing eyes, the same distorted voice of a Shadow.

A thought crossed Yu's mind as Kanji's Shadow continued to verbally tear into him. Shadows like his, and like the one he'd witnessed, resembled humans… but Teddie had mentioned Shadows not acting up.

He'd seen some dark blotches of sludge drag themselves across the floor, but only now had the thought occurred to him.

Shadows.

People in Tokyo were getting sick, and turning into Shadows somehow.

Yu swallowed, thinking back to Adachi's words. Don't tell anyone about this…

He shouldn't burden Chie or Yukiko with any of this, but considering Yosuke's in his body at the moment, a knot of anxiety twisted itself in his stomach wondering if he'd known about this too… if Adachi had called him.

Yu was starting to think that his gut feeling from yesterday had been right, because the more he thought of Adachi the more he felt like more than a few pieces of this puzzle were either missing or didn't fit right.

He pushed the thought onto the back burner of his mind and focused on the task at hand: getting Kanji's Shadow to calm the hell down.

The next chunk of time was a blur, but Yu definitely remembered his body being struck with lighting multiple times, getting knocked down, being mysteriously healed before he continued to attack with the so-called pinwheels.

It was then he saw it happening in real time. A Shadow, a fragment of your true inner self, vanished into light and returned to you as a Persona…

He couldn't quite get what Shadow Kanji said out of his head though…

Being scared of being rejected like that… were he not only able to speak in this world and were he his real self, Yu would have empathized with that…

Though, instead of pushing people away by acting overly tough, Yu kept them distant on purpose because he knew rejection was entirely unavoidable. If anything it was like every constant in his life.

The sun would rise, his parents would eventually move to who knows where next, and he'd have to reject everything and start with a clean slate even though he never was allowed to truly savor the relationships before.

Rinse. Repeat.

Once they got him to safety back outside the TV though, Chie joined his side as Yukiko got Kanji home.

"Seriously, what was up with you today, huh?"

"I'm sorry?" It came out as a genuine question, but Yu began wondering if it was almost instinctual for him to apologize when asked about this kind of thing.

"Y'know, your whole silent treatment thing, Yosuke." Chie clarified with a shrug. "You couldn't summon Jiraiya like, at all. That only happens if a Shadow silences you first."

What could he possibly say to that? "Uhh…" Yu mentally smacked himself. Nothing, apparently. He could say nothing to that.

She looked somewhat amused by his panic, showing that same joking grin as the last time. "Heh, maybe Jiraiya was just trying to make you feel bad for stalling." She twisted her voice to make a mock impression of Yosuke. "I am thou, thou art I, and thou art a dumbass!!"

Stalling? Why was Yosuke stalling rescuing someone?

With no idea how to respond again, he laughed awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Ha… funny."

"Okay, seriously though," Chie began as they both left Junes and welcomed the warm air of the coming summer. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh for crying out loud, Yosuke!! This is like the third week in a row where you've been acting really weird and just—" she gestured erratically at him as if to enunciate her point. "—Not like the normal you, so what is up?"

Knowing he couldn't come up with a good answer, he just.. said the first thing that came to his mind.

"He made it look so easy…" he paused for a moment as they continued walking. "A-Accepting it, I mean."

"Oh…" her tone communicated that she knew what he meant. "Yeah, it was pretty hard when I had to accept mine…"

"What does it even mean…? The true self…"

"I dunno… it's all the emotions you keep bottled up inside and never really tell anyone?"

"Hm." Yu fell silent, not wanting to voice what passed through his mind at that moment. "So… a hidden part of you that you can't accept…"

She shrugged. "Doing some self reflection, eh?"

"Something like that, yeah…" What he couldn't say was how once he got back home he was going to go head first into his TV and try the same thing Kanji did to see if that'd work… "I…don't know what I was thinking."

"It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Um," he smiled awkwardly, trying to hide the wince at the comment. He could still feel the static buzzing through his limbs. "I got electrocuted and nearly passed out like… five times."

"Yeah well, we all made it out in the end anyway and Kanji's gonna recover now, so your stalling wasn't worth it after all! Really glad you finally get it." Chie patted him on the back and stopped at an intersection that led to her home. "Can't lie, I am pretty exhausted though…"

"Same. See you tomorrow then?"

"Um, duh?" She playfully nudged him in the arm. "Of course I'll see you tomorrow. That's what friends do, you weirdo."

Friends.

Huh… the words weren't meant for him, but something about that night almost made it feel like they were.

He made his way home, too drained from fighting Kanji's Shadow to really bother doing much else. On his way back, however, Yu spotted a brown haired woman in a white kimono lingering around the torii he'd passed by several times now.

She simply nodded at him as if in silent agreement with something he wasn't aware of, then turned back to visit the shrine.

Yosuke's parents, as usual were supportive as ever, even if they were increasingly worried about him staying up this late.

He didn't register what excuse he'd used, too tired to really focus on it because all he wanted to do was go upstairs and sleep, damn it...

And sleep, he thankfully did. One goal was on his mind as he drifted off. One goal he was sure to make good on.

He had to face his Shadow again.

Notes:

Oh boy, I wonder how Yosuke’s doing, hmm hmm ;)

Chapter 18: Looking Too Long, Pushed Too Far

Summary:

Yosuke is thrust into an impromptu lunch with Haru, and takes longer than he should getting ready for it.

Surely that means absolutely nothing.

Notes:

Ohhh my idiot sunshine boy how I love you—

Yosuke had no clue what was causing the swapping to happen, but he was now convinced that whoever, or more likely whatever, did this was messing with him.

Curry?! He had no idea how to make curry, and the last time he was in the Hanamura kitchen fully in charge of dinner, he was the king of fumbling with multitasking aspects of recipes and ended up burning half of it.

Too many things to keep track of. Stirring too much or too little, exact temperatures, don't let things burn, use the right amount of seasoning...!! It required a level of concentration that Yosuke… hadn't exactly been known for having.

Damn it… he was gonna have to find a way out of this, or fumble his way through trying to get it done.

Mm… no. No, there was no finding a way out of it. It was for his partner, for Yu. He had to measure up, he was too special to him to just flake out like that!!

Yu's phone buzzed just as Yosuke was digging out the ingredients from the fridge. He scrambled to answer it, nearly dropping an onion as the contact 'Haru' popped up.

"H-hello?" He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself.

"Hello, Narukami-senpai! Are we still meeting up today?"

"Uh—" he cut himself off, cursing through clenched teeth as he fumbled with trying to get the veggies to stay put on the counter. Yosuke couldn't be too sure, but that sounded like the same girl he met the first time they swapped lives. "Yeah! O-of course!"

"Perfect!" She sounded delighted at his answer, and something in the back of his mind clicked into place. He had to wonder…

Was she… Yu's girlfriend?

"I'm, uh, making the curry now. When are you headed over?"

"Hmm, I was thinking in about an hour. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good to me!" She couldn't see his face, but he hoped the wink in his voice was clear. It would be next level weird if 'Yu' was acting distant around his girlfriend, so he had to play the part! "I'll be waiting."

Haru hung up shortly after, and thankfully left Yosuke to completely panic over trying to make curry again.

Ok, well, it's not like he was going in completely blind, at least. There had been a decently sized cook book with a few pages that had folded corners, and thankfully in spite of his rotten luck, there was a curry recipe amongst it.

Unsurprisingly, he'd found himself constantly looking over the recipe, double turned triple checking each step and the measurements.

Cooking was really not his forte, was it?

A while later, Yosuke stared at the results of his endeavor, which was… less than ideal.

It looked edible, smelled… decent, but it definitely didn't look like photo in the cookbook… Overcooking was one hell of an Achilles heel. Then again, it was chicken curry, so he hoped it wouldn't be too noticeable…

Aaaaand of course now was the time he realized he did not look ready for what he assumed was a date.

Yosuke beelined for Yu's room, scanning his small closet for anything he could wear that screamed 'fancy'. He, unsurprisingly, had quite a bit of outfits that fit the bill, and as he cycled through various iterations of teal, blue, gray and gold focused styles, Yosuke found himself staring at the mirror for longer than he probably should have.

'No wonder he's got a girlfriend, he looks good in almost anything...'

He shooed away the thought, ignoring the light pink that fell over his face for a moment. Focus.

It didn't escape Yosuke's notice, that most of the outfits were some degree of business casual to complete formal wear. The Narukami's must've hated fun, because Yosuke couldn't spot a single item that told him something about Yu's hobbies or interests…

Until…

"Ow—!!" He made the mistake of not looking when he straightened his posture after looking at the selection of tucked away coats, a medium sized plastic box knocked from its precarious position on the shelf above and landing in his arms, causing an unexpected back first tumble to the floor.

He coughed from the burst of dust that cascaded off the lid from the impact, almost pushing himself up into a sitting position if only to get the box off him. Yosuke froze when he saw what was inside, slightly blurred through the plastic and layers upon layers of dust.

It was as if the entire rainbow had been trapped in a single container, decorative paper of all kinds of shades, patterns and even a few shiny piles that had an almost reflective, metallic look to them. Next to the piles of paper swatches, there was a small stack of what looked like three guidebooks which, if Yosuke squinted, he could read the spines of through the blurry plastic case.

Origami — 1,000 Designs from Beginner to Master

A Prism of Paper Cranes: How to Make Your Wish Come True, One Fold at a Time

Beginners Guide to Origami Flowers

Before he could somehow talk himself out of it, Yosuke carefully opened the box, another eruption of dust causing him to recoil.

The books looked like they hadn't been touched in years, and the stack of origami paper nearly spilled over when he set the lid aside, showing just how much material was left here to rot away unused.

He sighed and closed the box, but didn't shuffle it back out of sight. An idea struck him, but he didn't have time to act on it. There was a knock at the door to the apartment, and he knew who it was.

"Hey," he said, opening the door and stepping aside for Haru to enter. "Glad you could make it."

Haru smiled, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. "Well, I'm glad you could have me."

As he served out two bowls of curry between them, Yosuke chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry in advance, but I miiiight've messed up."

She, of course, was confused by his apology. "Oh? Why's that?"

Great. He totally walked into that one and in typical Yosuke fashion, screwed up. Trying to pretend he wasn't completely panicked out of his mind, he quickly replied, because how many times had Yu cooked for his girlfriend?! How many times had they seen each other? "Uhh.. well, I guess I was just distracted, since, y'know, it's you that was coming over and all."

"Me?" She acted like she didn't know what he meant, then took a bite. There was a brief twitch of her expression as if the taste wasn't what she expected. "How… interesting. What's so special about me?"

Huh? Did she not…? "Well, I mean, we are dating, aren't we?"

Haru almost flinched at the question before blinking rapidly at him, her expression unreadable, but at the very least not insulted.

Ohh, that look told him in neon lights he was very wrong, and Yosuke's eyes fell to the curry that no longer smelled as appealing. "Shit, sorry, f-forget I said anything!"

"We aren't, you're right, but…" he heard a light, quiet snicker, and it only made the blaring sirens sounding 'YOU'RE AN IDIOT!' echo in his brain even louder. "I'm just curious, why do you ask?"

"I… honestly have no idea. Guess I misjudged that we were closer?" As if his responses couldn't get any worse, that tumbled out of his mouth without much thought, and all Yosuke could do was hope Yu wouldn't be mad at him for screwing this up. "Uhh… A-anyways! Is the curry good? I didn't ruin it, did I? I was kinda convinced I did but, I-I mean, what do you think?"

"It's… alright, but, Narukami-senpai?"

"Yeah…?"

"You seem… different, today." A brief pause, then a nod. "In a good way, I mean."

"Wait, really?" If only she could see how true that was. It almost made him laugh.

"Mhm! You're opening up a lot more… even if you stumble through it."

"Wha—hey! I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No, not at all. Hey, even though we're not dating, I hope you'll allow yourself to be… this version of you when around me and others, Narukami-senpai. I can only hope we'll be better friends, and I want to see if you really feel the same."

Yosuke forced himself to chuckle as he picked at the curry. "Heh… I'll make it happen then. How about in another week or two? I promise what I make won't suck, and hey… maybe we could make origami together or something?"

Haru laughed as she stood up, then smiled gratefully at him. "I'll see if I'm available and keep in touch! Thank you for today, though. It was nice."

"Awesome. See you then?"

Haru nodded, then went on her way.

Now left by himself, Yosuke looked at the TV, then decided that maybe, just maybe, another peak wouldn't hurt.

This time, instead of being met with heavy rain and an almost oppressive wind, he was met with a drizzle, a breeze… and a somewhat dense fog.

"Okay… take two.. man, this would be a hell of a lot easier to stomach if I had my—"

"Personaaaa?"

The following noise Yosuke made wasn't exactly a scream, but wasn't close enough to a yelp either.

There Jiraiya floated, his arms crossed and looking deeply amused. "Hah! Gotcha."

He cringed at how his Persona sounded exactly like his Shadow before something clicked into place. "How are you here?"

The frog tapped the side of his head, as if pointing to his brain. Could Personas even have actual brains? "Come onnn, you know the deal, don't ya? I am thou, thou art I and all that? I go wherever you go, soooo…" he did a small twirl and struck a pose, his scarf flowing behind him. "Here I am!"

"Wait, if you're here, then…" Yosuke's expression cracked into one of horror as he traced out a shape in the air, putting the pieces together. "If you're with me, right now, in Yu's body…"

Jiraiya made a croaking noise that almost sounded like he was holding back laughing. "Yes…?"

"And if you're using my voice to speak to me…"

Another long, strained laugh-croak.

"Does that mean that Yu went to save Kanji as me, and that he can't summon you to fight?!"

"Hey, I said I follow you, not your partner! So I snatched your voice before I left, no big deal!!"

"Ohhh, shit, you gotta be kidding me… he's probably fighting for his life right now…"

"He'll be fiiiine."

"I had a lot of items saved up, so maybe he will be, but…geez," he slugged Jiraiya on the shoulder. "Damn you, stupid frog…"

"Negative self talk isn't exactly healthy, y'know."

"Whatever! At least now I know for sure you've got my back over here. What do you say we do some more investigating around?"

His other self nodded, then vanished into light.

The graveyard was mostly the same, but the forest beyond it, something was different.

The fog began clouding over the leaves, and as if it couldn't get any creepier, looked as if they were shaped like hands slowly moving closer to each other.

Yosuke walked down into the grove, his guard up and attention sharp for any Shadows…

He heard a fluttering from above him, and a few specks of color scattered from the branches. Things far too bright to be 'normal' birds…

Paper cranes…?

Hm…

He continued on, until a noise in the distance stopped him. It almost sounded like a woman's angry screaming, nearly buried under the cry of a vulture…

Yosuke tensed up. He could feel the threatening presence getting closer.

"GET OUT…!!!" It screeched, and he jumped back as an indistinct shape flew straight for his face.

Not getting mauled today, no thank you!! "Persona!!"

Just as usual, Jiraiya appeared, whipping up a strong gust of wind to knock the Shadow away, and it glared at him. Something about that look felt so chillingly like Yu, but wasn't at the same time.

Regardless, he didn't back down, taking a defensive stance next to his Persona. The Shadow hissed in resentment at his resolve and skulked away into the fog.

"Ha, probably knew they didn't stand a chance against me!" Jiraiya chirped in triumph. "Wanna try and follow it?"

"I don't think I can… the damn fog's so thick over here, even the glasses are having trouble cutting through it… Plus, I'd prefer to not die since I've got no backup."

A displeased croak, then a reluctant nod. "Yeah, yeah… I guess you're right."

"Also, I…want to go home now. Hearing you speaking to me with my own voice is really weird."

"You gotta admit this entire switching lives thing is weird, though."

"Wait," that was news to him. "You mean you don't know what caused it?"

Jiraiya floated around him causally before shrugging. "If you're clueless, then so am I."

"Stands to reason, I guess… wish I had a single clue about it."

That thought lingered with him until Yosuke exited the TV, dusk just now painting the sky in darker hues.

He stopped, his eyes falling to the note left by Yu's parents.

That's when he got… another idea.

Yosuke rummaged through Yu's desk drawers and found a pencil, walked back over to the counter and finally, erased the note, replacing it with something else.

His headphone brand, and a small list of tracks he'd been listening to lately.

You deserve to have some fun too, so here ya go, partner! Let me know if you like any of my recs.

So, all in all, today was… fine, save for the botched curry and unearthing of a hobby Yu had tried hiding…

It made Yosuke all the more determined to help, because even though he couldn't hear him say it in person, he meant every word.

Yu deserved to have fun and live his life as much as anyone else should be. He just wished his partner could see what he saw too...

Notes:

Uh oh mysterious vulture shadowwwww, oooo spookyyy

Chapter 19: The Vulture and The Beetle

Summary:

Yu takes what he saw in Inaba and tries to visit his Shadow again, not expecting to be followed.

Notes:

Yu trauma time again y’all, woot woot!!

When Yu awoke that next morning, he felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart by a freshly sharpened knife.

He'd found it?

Yosuke had found the box he'd tried so hard to leave in the ruins of his past, moving its ghost around with him any time his parents careers called for it, and out of what? Believing in vain someday they'd actually like to see what he'd made?

Hmph… no… the only things created by Yu that they wanted to see were good marks…

But still… He'd found the box, and he didn't even think to move it out of sight once he was done here…

Yu gently removed the lid like it was a precious chest of bountiful treasure, blowing off some residual dust from the Origami Flowers book.

A wave of nostalgia poisoned by a bitter acidic feeling in his throat washed over him as he opened it to the first page, the spine cracking loudly from its age and lack of use.

He laughed, strained and melancholic as he read words once so familiar, now nothing but a small, insignificant piece of his childhood he tried to leave behind…

Folding patterns he once knew by heart now left no creases in his own blood, but something in him stirred as he looked over the step by step process of making a simple tulip.

Yu sat the book down on his bed, still opened, and left his room.

No more. He had to accept his Shadow.

The world beyond his TV screen was the same, yet one thing stood out as something he hadn't spotted before on this side.

Ceaseless, bitter cold wind and unending rain, but the fog… now that was new.

He spotted his Shadow, standing over the still undug grave of Tokyo, his back to the other and his pose rigid. Most noticeable of all, his cloak and the ribbon that once choked him now hung somewhat looser.

Cautiously, he approached. "Hey… I accept that you're me."

But nothing happened.

Shadow Yu tilted his head back, his eyes narrowing. "What?" He sounded almost insulted. "Do you? Do you really?"

Yu stood firm, but couldn't meet the glare that pierced through him. "Yes… I mean it."

An indignant huff. "No. No you don't."

"What do you mean I don't…?! I said you're me!!"

He fully turned around, horrified by the sight of his other self's crossed arms having been entangled by a softly glowing yellow thread that spilled off the ribbon that once choked him. A spiders web of gold that moved with every body action, an invisible being puppeteering nothing but a hollow marionette…

"I'm nothing if not a prop for them, that's all I'll ever be." Something about the way the voice sounded sent a chill down Yu's spine, like there was more than just a cacophony of his own speaking. "I'm just not good enough. I'll never be good enough, and that's how it has to be. If I just obey orders, then everything will be alright."

It began walking away, unfazed and unresponsive to the rain that slowly began to beat down from the sky again.

Without thinking, Yu broke into a run as his other self disappeared into the foggy forest… "Hey!! Hey, where are you going?! What are you talking about?!"

The ground beneath him was damp, but a definite crunch from the momiji leaves fallen in swathes lingered with every blind step he took. Further into this death trap disguised as a forest…

Hollow bursts of wind kept pushing Yu forwards, losing sight of his Shadow every few moments as the fog continued to encroach. As if the world itself was taking a shallow breath each time things dipped into uncertainty…

"Mother? Um… I got good results on my last few tests…"

The echo of a memory chilled Yu's bloodstream, and he stopped in another clearing as he heard the unmistakably clear voice of himself, almost three years younger, pleading to his mother.

The fog receded, if only to show him a visage of it… to torment him further…

With a trembling frame, his eyes cast away from her back, and a nervous expression… he recognized this memory, clear as day…

"So… since the new year is coming up, and we recently moved here… can we go sightseeing and get used to the city? I-I promise I'm not slacki—"

"Yu, you're 14 now, so when will you ever learn that the answer is NO!!!" His mother angrily yelled, then turned away. She'd been dressed entirely in black, as did his father, who narrowed his eyes.

"I don't want to hear any excuses from you! Were you not listening to us on the way here?! We have somewhere very urgent we need to go, so please just do as your told and make yourself actually useful to your family!!"

The younger Yu, one whose demeanor was once so eager to push, so ready to try and fight to create memories… thatversion of him died at the blowback of Seiji's anger, and his fourteen year old self's expression turned defeated, but still held within a storm of bitterness.

"Where could you guys possibly be going that's more important than spending one day with me…"

Yu felt the sting of regret pulse through his veins with the next drop of his heartbeat. That had been his biggest mistake he'd ever made in his life at that point.

Seiji's face could only be described as livid, but his tone remained controlled, the fury spilled out subtly. "And this is exactly why we never tell you. You'll always whine and complain about it, no matter the reason!! Listen for once when I say it's none of your business!! It's just one day, Yu. We're too busy, and you need to stop being an entitled little brat."

"Of course you are, when don't you take long to make time for me…?" Younger Yu muttered bitterly, crossing his arms.

It was then Nagako's turn to speak, turning away from the crook of Seiji's neck that she'd buried her head into. Her eyes were red, as if she'd been crying, and with that little remark, her face turned red with the same, suppressed anger too.

She gripped his shoulders so tightly that current Yu traced over the spot she'd been holding onto, the memory so vividly preserved in this strange place he could feel the ghost of the painful sensation…

"Yu… the only thing that matters to me… is if you're good at what's asked of you. Right now… I have never seen a performance more disappointing than this. Please, please just do as you're told, and do it good. What I require you do is never ask about this again." She took a breath, then looked up at her husband, who was still coldly staring down at him. "Do you understand?"

Younger Yu's face wilted away into the same numb expression current him saw whenever he looked in the mirror…

"…Yes, Mother…"

Nagako nodded, then stood up, wiping her eyes before turning for the door to their apartment. Seiji, however, stayed behind.

"If you want to see the city so badly, you can just go by yourself if you're so damn upset about it." He somewhat aggressively shoved a small stack of yen into his hand. "Don't waste our money like you waste our time. Happy New Year." The last three words were said with so much spite Yu could taste it, and as the apartment door slammed shut, the illusion disappeared…

In its place… a vulture with unmistakably silver feathers, part of its beak stretching into a pale yellow mask like crest that resembled a crown. It's 'eyes' on the crest were closed, and a symbol of three on the center. It's wings were sleek, talons sharp, but oh god, the noise…

The moment the Shadow opened its beak, it let out the most intense, viscerally aggressive screech that made Yu practically pin his hands over his ears to try and soften the blow. The Shadow didn't like that, furiously beating at his arms with its wings and knocking him to the forest floor as it continued making that ghastly shrieking…

Amidst the chaos, he noticed something.

The vulture Shadow held tightly gripped in its talons a mess of golden threads stretching off into the fog.

The most debilitating sinking feeling tore its way into Yu's stomach, and he elbowed the bird hard in the chest, scrambling to his feet to leave. He tried to run, only to be stopped dead in his tracks by another one.

A thud beat through the soil as an impossibly large almost iridescent black beetle landed in front of Yu's exit, its five pronged purple crown-like horn, marked with the symbol of four, pointed straight at his chest as if daring him to try and flee. Everything about this Shadow similarly screamed 'I can and will kill you'…

It also had, wrapped around its shorter horn, many threads of light in the same shade of purple…

"It's me they want…!!" His own Shadow joined the fray, the two others attention drawn like a moth to a flame. "Go!! Get out of here!!"

"But you're—"

"Just GO!!!"

He didn't need to be told twice and ran off, back to the other side, his breath ragged...

His parents…?

That side had some kind of mental construct of his parents?!

Yu had to take a minute to breathe again, walking over to the kitchen counter. Okay, Narukami… Breathe. It's alright… it wasn't really them… They're still gone…

His eyes fell to the note from all that time ago… only this time, instead of contempt, curiosity spread across his face.

A small list of songs he didn't recognize and a headphone brand, with a note from Yosuke…

You deserve to have some fun too.

Yu hummed in amusement, remembering there was a department store in the city that had just about as robust of an electronics department as Junes did, maybe even bigger.

He could go to Akihabara for it, but it would be nice not to waste potential travel fees where he didn't have to…

Yu made a mental note to write his thoughts after he'd tried out the headphones and the track list. His thoughts, for a moment, flickered back to the box of craft supplies that he'd woken up to, and he smiled softly.

Maybe Yosuke was right to dig this out.

He grabbed an umbrella and headed out, making sure to pocket both Yosuke's list… and, regretting the decision already, Adachi's number.

"Just in case," he told himself. "Just in case I come across them."

The first shock was the fact that the stores were hauntingly empty, yet not closed. He saw employees here and there restocking shelves and helping the couple customers that also came in alongside him, but… he couldn't deny that a strange feeling was following behind.

The lights in the department store's own electronics department flickered, and Yu's heart dropped as he heard something else.

Singing. Almost.

Yu tensed up and reached into his coat pocket when he heard it. A tiny, garbled voice singing half words in a similarly shaky, echoing tone that Shadows of people almost spoke with, except he couldn't even understand what it was saying if he didn't strain himself to listen over his own allegro of a heartbeat…

Standing in front of Yu, a good few meters away, was a Shadow resembling an old, abandoned stuffed rabbit with a patchy, deep red dress, almost as if it were a doll sewn back together and come to life. It's face was blank, save for the off white mask with a cross shaped hole in the middle and the number eight marked in Roman numerals…

Contrary to the two for the price of one nightmare encounter he'd found himself in before, this Shadow was small, just barely taller than a child no older than ten at most, largely in part due to its long bunny ears that almost resembled a ponytail.

It stared at him, unmoving, and continued to sing to itself. Still, despite the adrenaline running its course through Yu's veins, he couldn't make heads or tails of what exactly it was trying to sing along to.

He kept his stance guarded but tried not to appear like a threat to the creature, then pulled out his phone and shakily entered the number.

"Um… Adachi-san, I found one."

Notes:

Oh hey, look at that, a cliffhanger
I’m sure everything’s totally fine, plz trust :)

Chapter 20: We’re Not So Different

Summary:

Yosuke can't sleep well on the school trip due to his classmates cooking skills, but when Kanji bursts into his tent, there was another reason for his insomnia entirely.

Notes:

Oh boy, here we goooo, school trip chapter!

"End meeee…" Yosuke loudly groaned to the sky, knowing he was alone in the tent and (probably) wouldn't be heard. Chie and Yukiko had decided it would be a good idea for them to cook curry on the school trip, and while Yosuke's last bout of curry cooking in Tokyo wasn't perfect, it didn't make him want to throw up his entire digestive tract like this did…

Ugh… and if he tried getting something for nausea now, King Moron would probably rake him over the coals for still being up at nearly 1am…

It didn't help that he was so disgusted by the aforementioned abomination of a dish known as Mystery Food X that he was still so hungry…

This had to be the worst night of his entire life…

"Geez senpai, you look like you're gonna pass out…"

Well great, someone heard him… all the more reason to rot in this tent the next day…

When he registered who that voice belonged to though, Yosuke sat up, startled by the boy sitting parallel to him. "Kanji? What're you doing here?"

He shrugged. "First-year tent was too quiet, like someone died in there. Teacher threatened to hold me back if I didn't show up though."

Oh, that explains a lot. "Huh, I wonder why…"

Kanji's face twisted, somewhat offput by the remark before looking at him, curious. "It's just you in this tent?"

Yosuke nodded hesitantly, then his eyes fell to the floor. The last time they spoke, it was with the rest of the team not long after Yu rescued him… "Yep… just me." He swallowed. This was already so awkward and he couldn't deny a certain something bothering him… "The other guys called in sick, apparently... starting to think I probably could've spared myself the nausea and done the same."

Kanji chuckled, he could definitely relate to that. "So, I can hang here?"

"Uh," he cleared his throat, trying to compose himself while also not looking him in the eye. "Yeah, yeah sure… Just… move over a bit, would ya?"

The previous amusement in his expression turned into suspicion mixed with irritation. "Why can't you?"

Yosuke flinched, then gestured wildly to his left as if to mime out his distress at the notion. "If I do, I'll roll down the slope right outside this tent! No thank you!"

Kanji's expression didn't change as he dug out a small box from his pocket and opened it, the label unreadable in the low, but only light source. "Damn, calm down! I was just asking..."

"Right…"

The gradual silence that fell over the two was crushing.

Yosuke fidgeted in place as he laid down in the tent, the hunger, nausea and ever intensifying pain of awkwardness eating him alive. He was a fool to think Kanji hadn't noticed it.

"So…What's your deal, senpai?"

Another flinch, as if Yosuke were shot by an arrow made from his words. "Deal? Ha, uh, what deal? Who's got a deal? I know I sure don't…!"

Kanji wasn't convinced. "You've been actin' like you can't settle without watching your back."

He sighed, sitting up abruptly and cursing at himself for still not being able to meet his teammate's eyes. "Am I… going to be safe with you here?"

Confusion, coupled with annoyance, crossed the other's face. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

Shit, he really messed up! "N-Nothing, I mean… are you… y'know, like that?"

Kanji stilled, but kept his glare locked on him. "…So what?"

"Huh…?" That was not the response he was expecting.

"So what if I am?"

"I just thought, uh…" of course now was the time he forgot how words worked. Great. A plus talking skills, Hanamura. Gold star.

"If you're thinking what I think you are, then you're dead wrong." He interrupted, before crossing his arms and popping something into his mouth. A cracker…? "Just 'cause I have a preference doesn't mean I'll fall for just any guy that's in my space."

So he got this extra wrong then… perfect. "Oh… I guess, um, I didn't know. Sorry."

"'S fine," Kanji still seemed annoyed, but held out the box. Yosuke had been somewhat correct earlier. It was animal crackers. "Here. Lemme know if you find the penguin. Been searching for it lately and haven't had any luck."

Yosuke hesitated before taking the box, fishing out a cracker shaped like a cat. "Penguin?"

"Secret animal cracker. Each box has a rare flavor, penguin's the rarest."

"Huh…" he took a few more crackers before returning the box with no sign of the rare bird. A frog, a dragon, and a swan.

"…why're you so into my business, senpai?"

He perked up, but the look Kanji held was not confrontational, instead quizzical and part of Yosuke's mind relaxed, if only by a smidge.

"I… don't know…" he admitted, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. A moment passed before he spoke again, no less uneasy than a minute ago. "You're serious…? About… your type?"

Kanji sighed in exasperation, then bit into a cracker shaped like a rabbit. "This is what I'm talkin' about. You keep asking when I already said it."

"J-just making sure…" Yosuke couldn't look at him, not after that slip up. And just when things were getting better, too… great. They were teammates now, it shouldn't be this difficult to simply try to talk about what was bouncing around in his head.

"Don't take this the wrong way senpai, but…" Kanji took out another cracker, an owl this time. No penguin yet. "You sound like you're trying too hard to convince yourself that we're not… kinda the same."

Yosuke's body went rigid and he nearly choked as he popped the vanilla flavored cookie frog into his mouth. "What?"

He shrugged in response. "You said you liked a girl before this whole thing started, but the way you're actin'… its just making me think."

The smile that cracked into Yosuke's expression felt forced and he knew it. Were he an archer, Kanji would've just struck a bullseye. "Wh-what're you talking about? I-I don't swing that way! You know that!"

"Who says it had to be one way or the other?"

"Wait, so," he swallowed, the question smacking him in the knees like a sledgehammer. "You're saying it's possible to like both…?"

Kanji looked away. "I'm not some expert on this stuff, man."

Now that he thought of it, the only other person he'd looked at with so much admiration in his eyes was—

Oh.

Oh no.

Yosuke took a breath, head spinning from the realization… or maybe the nausea.

Yeah… yeah, it's just nausea. It had to be.

He dug through the box for another cookie, if only to try and distract himself.

He was met with a chocolate penguin. Two, actually, that had been melted together with a strawberry pink icing. A small, light smile tugged at Yosuke's lips when he saw it was done on purpose, not some error, and it looked like the little guys were hugging. One hell of a way to get people hunting for this stuff with a cute design like that.

"Hey, Kanji? I found it."

"No way… we actually pulled it?"

Yosuke held it out, grinning slightly. "Crazy luck, huh?"

"Hell yeah…" he took the cracker from him before snapping it in half cleanly down the middle, leaving equal parts chocolate and strawberry coating. Smiling casually for maybe the first time that night, Kanji put back one of the halves into Yosuke's hand. "So… we're cool?"

He looked between his teammate, the cracker, then back. They looked the same. Kinda like they were, even if thinking about it still felt profoundly awkward and weird to confirm to himself…

"Yeah… yeah, we're cool."

Needless to say, Yosuke was able to sleep even the slightest bit easier, even if something… new, was left buzzing in the back of his mind.

An ever present, annoyingly warm feeling, one that tore open a gash in his heart as Yosuke made a half awake realization.

This feeling was something he couldn't even tell Yu about, through scattered notes or not…because how can you possibly tell the person you've been swapping lives with that he was the cause of it?

Notes:

He has become (slightly) aware.

Chapter 21: The Angel

Summary:

Yu encounters a Shadow aimlessly wandering a department store.

Notes:

Everything is fine :)

It was…easy to dismiss the little things when they had no name.

Little blips of things that existed in the dark. Chirps, hisses, the flap of wings or scrapings of claws.

If humanity couldn't name something, they couldn't understand it, and if they couldn't understand it, they would fear or dismiss it.

Names were skeleton keys, opening any door of possibility or connection once you had one.

But Yu Narukami did not have a name, did not have a key, for the creature that stood stumbling in place in front of him.

"You found one?!" The urgency in Adachi's voice on the other side of his phone cut through the haze of brain fog, and before he could confirm, the detective continued. "What's it doing?!"

"It's just… staring at me." Yu squinted and leaned forward, trying to piece together if the Shadow had any eyes beneath its mask. The bunny-like creature tilted its head, appearing almost unprovoked. "I-I think…?"

"Alright, I'm going to need you to listen to the steps I give you carefully. Is there anything around that you can use as a weapon?"

Yu nearly sputtered at the question. "A-are you saying I should fight it?!"

"Do you want to get out of there alive or not?!"

He swallowed, the pressure of Adachi's words silencing any protest he might've had. "Um… no, there aren't any weapons…" he cleared his throat, hopefully disguising the muttered 'if I don't want to get sued for property damage' under his breath.

An annoyed sigh crackled out from the other line. "…Alright, guess you're gonna have to try and hit it up close. Remember what I told you?"

Yu found himself staring at the creature, his hands shaking as he held the phone and tuning out whatever Adachi said.

He could see it.

Eyes, brown beneath the off white mask, blinking at him. It held a small paw over its face, then took a wobbly step forward, as if curious about him.

Yu wasn't sure if he should be terrified or try to approach when he noticed how human they seemed to be, glimmering in the fluorescent buzzing of the electronics department like a child seeing shooting stars for the first time.

"Hey! Can you hear me?!"

"Huh? Uh, y-yeah, um… remind me again, what am I supposed to do?"

"Oh for the love of—Break the mask!! If you break the mask, you break the Shadow!!"

Yu froze, the instructions flying clear over his head as the Shadow kept taking shaky step after shaky step towards him.

"…Adachi-san, how do you—"

"This isn't the time for questions, just kill the damn thing already!!"

He hung up before Yu could protest, leaving just him and the Shadow…

He pocketed his phone, then tore his eyes away from it as he pulled back his trembling fist, clenching them shut as he let his energy guide it forward.

"I'm sorry…" he murmured.

But he didn't.

His fist stopped mere centimeters away from the mask, and the second mistake he made was cracking open his eyes…

The Shadow was covering its face. Trembling.

It was afraid.

For a moment, Yu's throat tightened. It almost looked like he did when he was a child being scolded…

He lowered his arm, then exhaled, kneeling to meet the Shadow's eyes. They looked shiny and full of confused, but still scared relief, and Yu had to wonder... could Shadows — the kinds resembling creatures more than a doppelgänger, cry just as humans did?

"It's okay…" Yu said, attempting to keep his voice quiet and as soothing as he could manage. "I'm sorry if I scared you. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

Its eyes got a little brighter, and that same curiosity began to trickle back into its body language.

"Why're you here?" It was, in some way, a stupid question to ask, but Yu had only seen two examples of 'beast' Shadows, and those two were the exact opposite to the level of docile this one was.

The PA system crackled to life, playing the store's jingle and cutting through the quiet of the moment. The Shadow's behavior at the sounds, however, became animated instantly. It bobbed its almost oversized rabbit head back and forth, looking like it was dancing in place.

Yu laughed, a bit amused, before walking over and pointing to a flatscreen TV. "You sneaky thing, did you get out of one of these somehow?"

The bunny-Shadow stopped dancing, then shook its head, a somewhat staticky, yet gurgling orchestra of voices making a noise. If Yu strained to listen, he could make out a single word.

"Ho…me..."

'Home'…?

"You… want to go home?"

It nodded almost frantically, and Yu looked back his reflection in the black TV screen. "If this isn't your home, then…"

If some Shadows didn't live in the TV, and this one didn't get out of one…

Oh…

Yu's heart seized in pain at the realization. This poor person's parents must be heartbroken… he hoped so, at least.

He took a breath, then smiled sadly at the bunny. "Can you show me where your home is? Or the direction, at least?"

It nodded again, and began stumbling out of the department store.

The bunny ended up leading him to a broken down, almost abandoned looking train station separated from the rest of the Tokyo metro system, the map so baked in sunlight over the years he couldn't read any of the destinations.

This was a one way trip, and the Shadow had wandered quite far, it seemed.

It felt like something out of a fantasy story, almost. A creature on a long journey all by their lonesome. Yu grinned, looking at his companion of sorts. "Just what have you gotten up to, you mischievous little rabbit?"

It made some form of a discordant chirping noise, as if it was laughing, then it did something he didn't expect.

The bunny hid behind his leg and held onto it for dear life. One look back told him why.

"Ugh… finally, there you a—Get back!!" Adachi stood across from them, revolver drawn and pointed straight at the Shadow's mask between its eyes, his finger hovering above the trigger. "Actually listen to me this time, okay? I'm gonna need you to back away from the monster, slowly."

"Monster? It just wants to go home…" He looked down at the bunny, then back, determined. "Back at the hospital after I got attacked… You said these were originally people, didn't you? What if we try to find a cure for the disease? We could save them!!"

Adachi's expression twitched as if the words had struck a nerve, his hand still not moving from its position, and Yu could've sworn he saw a smirk flickering at the corner of his mouth before it turned serious. "There is no cure! Just— get out of the way so I can put that thing down! They're not human anymore, they're nothing but monsters!"

Yu stilled, realizing Adachi wouldn't back down. He glanced at the rabbit, still clinging onto his leg, then tugged it free. "…Fine."

The Shadow started making chirps of distress as Yu stepped aside, frowning at Adachi pulling the trigger, the bullet heading straight for the mask…

…only for it to hit the train stations map behind it, Yu tackling the creature to the ground and scrambling away as Adachi yelled for it.

"Go over there, then follow the tracks back wherever your home is, okay?" He whispered urgently as he rose to a kneel and ushered the Shadow down to an area near the station lined with bushes. Perfect, a spot for them to hide.

"Hey," he gently squeezed the bunny's shoulder, a gesture of support he hoped would come across. "I hope you find your home."

It smiled with its eyes, then got out another two words, this time clear, but still multilayered with hundreds of different voices. The clearest of them all, however, was a child's.

"Thank… you.."

It vanished from sight, and Yu turned around, sighing in relief… before Adachi caught him. Great.

"What were you thinking?! Where did it go?!"

"It…" Lie. Lie. Lie. "It somehow got away after I pinned it. Looked like it was going to run after it couldn't hide anymore, so I thought if I could keep it still you wouldn't have any issues."

Adachi lowered his guard, still glaring at him. "Those things are bloodthirsty, you know. That was basically a life or death move on your part, and I don't think I want to have another… incident like that while on duty…"

Yu's heart stopped beating for barely a second, a new fear choking him. "Wha… what do you mean 'incident'…?"

The detective visibly stiffened and he turned around, wincing from disgust. "Someone I… used to work with, died while trying to fight one off. You can't play around with these brutes, you just can't! I'm being completely honest with you, right here and now," He turned his head, glancing at Yu with a somewhat pained look in his eye. "What you did just now was a decision only a dumbass would make."

Silence hung in between them, the most defeating kind as Yu followed him back out of the station.

"Where do you live? I'm not letting someone as rash as you walk home alone when there's more violence cases every night."

Yu hesitated, then reluctantly told him the general area of the apartment building.

"Stay alert getting home, ok? I can be civil and let you off with a warning this time, but second chances aren't forever."

"Yeah… sorry, Adachi-san."

"Kids like you have your whole life ahead of ya. Wouldn't want it to be cut short. Especially not in this weather."

"Is it projected to get worse? The rain, I mean."

Adachi's face twitched again, turning into a grimace. "Mm, no, but it's gonna get pretty foggy out soon. Again, I'd advise you to be careful from here on out. You never know what's hiding in it. Well… see you around, Narukami."

With that, Adachi left, and Yu found himself alone in his apartment, having not bought a single thing on the list…

Looks like that would be a task for future Yu to handle, because present day Yu was nothing if not terribly rattled by the experience…

He sighed and flopped on his bed, exhausted, as something Adachi said still kept lingering in his mind.

If the Shadows were really just humans turned into nothing but bloodthirsty monsters… why did that one feel different?

Why did it feel innocent?

Why did it feel like that Shadow could understand every word he spoke to it?

Why… did it feel truly human?

Notes:

The Shadow is singing to itself…

Chapter 22: Cut the Act

Summary:

Rise's dungeon in the TV makes Yosuke more than uncomfortable, and the team once again jabbing at him for it was NOT helping.

Notes:

Did you guys ever notice that during Rise’s dungeon, Yosuke seemed the most panicked about her being in danger of all the victims so far? And not for any selfish reasons just because he likes her?

Well I diddddd

Ok, so maybe liking both guys and girls was easier to stomach the more he told himself about it, but this was the last straw.

'Whoever controls the universe, I'd like a word!!'

Risette — the Risette, was the killer's next target, and the reality she made was… a lot, to take in. Especially with only that morning to process what her Shadow said.

Standing in front of the club entrance, Yosuke held his head high. "Okay team, we've got an idol to save and no time to waste, so let's get going!!"

Yukiko, however, looked at him with not exactly annoyance, but it wasn't exactly exasperation either. "Wow, we're actually saving her now?"

He turned around, both gobsmacked and confused. Did they not get the gravity of what was at stake here?! "Um, obviously yes?! You all saw what Rise said on TV last night, didn't you?!"

"Why's that so surprising…?" Kanji asked as he put on his glasses. "Don'tcha always save people immediately?"

"Welllll," Chie began, and Yosuke elbowed her in the side, hard. "Ow! What's your deal?!"

"I-it's not important right now, we gotta go!!"

"Oh! Oh! Do you want to do some scoring with Rise? Is that why?"

Yosuke shot Teddie a look, gritting his teeth to try and not completely lose it this early on a Sunday. "You're not helping, stupid bear…"

Chie, of them all, seemed surprised. "I thought you'd want to wait till the last minute, considering…"

Oh… oh so that's how they all saw him then, was it?! Just some desperate, insecure pervert?! Their leader was nothing more than a bumbling, pathetic loser who only cared if he could get something out of it?! That thinks of girls as nothing but playthings for his own desires?!

Hmph… he'd show them who the pathetic one was, and it sure as hell wasn't him! If that's how they feel, he could do this all on his own!!

"Well, fine! If you guys don't want to help me out, I-I'll just do it myself!" Yosuke spun on his heel and sprinted blindly into the area.

"Yosuke-senpai, wait!!"

But Kanji's words didn't reach him. He had already vanished into the dungeon.

Only one thought was storming in Yosuke's mind like a relentless wind. Save Rise. Save Rise. Save Rise.

Breathless, Yosuke ran past Shadow after Shadow, not caring if they stirred or dragged their bodies after him to try and attack. He didn't have time for them right now, he didn't have time for any of them!! He needed to save Rise, and if he could do it on his own, maybe then he would prove he wasn't useless.

Maybe…

Maybe, if Yu were here, he'd have more confidence in this position…

Maybe, if his partner were here, he wouldn't be doing this in the first place! Maybe they did go into this together…

The spiraling twister of thoughts of what-ifs and Yu was quite literally smacked out of him when Yosuke turned a corner to what he knew was the stairs, a Shadow somehow uppercutting him without any arms.

The blob took the form of a scale, its teal and blue dishes hanging parallel off its sides. Contrary to most Shadows he'd encountered, it didn't move.

Yosuke groaned as he regathered his bearings, standing up and putting on his headphones. "Okay, ouch, didn't expect that, but whatever. Then I can get back to what actually matters."

A familiar card bearing the mark of the Magician floated down to his hand. "Let's go, Jiraiya!"

His Persona appeared at his side, whipping up a huge gust of wind, only for it to clash with a crystalline wall of light… and for the attack to be sent careening back towards him.

'Oh, you've got to be KIDDING ME—'

Before he could move again, the gear like wheel on the scales… face? rotated and a massive bolt of lightning knocked him to the ground, rendering Yosuke dizzy…

No matter… he could still fight by himself…

Tightly gripping his kunai, Yosuke staggered to his feet, then lunged forward… only for his attack to phase right through it…

He couldn't use Garula… he couldn't attack it physically…

'Oh, come ON!!'

Another bolt of lightning violently pulsed through his being, and Yosuke could hear Jiraiya screaming out croaks of pain at the hit from within his mind.

He was trapped.

Yosuke was trapped in a fight with a Shadow that he couldn't do anything against…

He laughed bitterly as his head spun, still feeling the buzz of electricity nailing him to the ground.

"Guess I really am pathetic after all…"

Barely holding onto his senses, he couldn't process how many times it had happened. Shock. Fall. Shock. Fall. Shock.

This was it.

He was going to die here.

He was going to die here, and nobody was going to save him. Not the rest of his team, not Yu… Why would they, he did this to himself…

A darker part of Yosuke's mind began whispering the cursed thoughts that he somehow deserved this…

But then… something happened.

Through the ringing in his ears, he heard the crackling of fire and felt the very essence of life itself flood his nerves.

A blur of pink crossed his vision before he attempted to stand.

"Yukiko-san…? Wh…what're you—"

"I'm not letting you die is what I'm doing! Seriously, you scared us half to death when we heard you from down there!" She shouted as the Shadow vanished into nothing after another attack.

"What…? But I thought…"

"Are you insane?!" Kanji smacked the back of his head, sending a thump through his skull as he was still coming to.

The pounding only worsened when Chie did the same. "You can be so reckless sometimes, y'know? What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Hmph…" Yosuke crossed his arms, his gaze bitterly casted downwards. "You really wanna know what was going through my head!? It's probably an easy guess for you, but the answer is nothing!" He rolled his eyes and waved away at nothing in particular, then chuckled wryly. "I wasn't thinking. As usual."

Chie's expression only got more annoyed. "'As usual'?"

"You guys must think I'm an idiot, huh… I'm supposed to be the leader, but no matter what I do you'll always think little of me." He took a few steps forward, facing the stairway and sighed, tired. "…I'm not doing this for any reason but to save Rise-chan, and if that's sooo difficult to believe for you, I can go by myself."

An arm grabbed his shoulder just before he could proceed, and he whipped around to see Chie, Yukiko, Teddie and Kanji, each looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

Chie was the one to speak first. "Yosuke… you were serious?"

"Am I ser—of course I am!" Yosuke's eyes bolted towards the sky as he paced, gesturing wildly to make his point. "I'm in this just like the rest of you are! I'm not doing this to use her!! Not because I like her!…I…" he shook his head, then took a breath to calm his nerves. "I can't let anyone suffer the way Saki-senpai did… I've been doing some thinking and…"

He shot a uneasy glance to Kanji, whose expression went from confused to a silent realization at what he meant, then nodded. Yosuke continued. "No more waiting. I may not know her, but I know nobody deserves this… I'm sorry I acted as brashly as I did, but I'm not fooling around when it comes to saving Rise, so… are you still in?"

His friends all joined his side, their looks at him now feeling almost renewed, however as they headed up, Chie and Yukiko lingered behind him.

"Hey, Yosuke-kun…?"

"Yeah?"

He glanced back at the two, Yukiko speaking first. "I'm sorry… about what I said."

"Me too. You occasionally make jokes about that kinda thing whenever we're on the phone and… I dunno. You never seemed like the type to be serious?" Chie shrugged her shoulders, not sure if the point got across.

"Heh, guess I've gotta make a different impression on you guys from now on." Yosuke replied with a grin, eliciting the same from his friends in response. He really hoped someday he could get this leadership thing right because hiccups like this needed to be avoided if the team was to stay intact. "We can do this, together. Right?"

"Yeah. Together."

He tried putting on his best serious face… but ended up breaking two seconds later when Chie made a comment. Something about "trying too hard to be unshakable", but it didn't register as the team began riding the same waters.

They were riding identical wavelengths now, and hopefully with time, he could find himself comfortable as the leader of this team. Maybe with time, he could get used to being in charge, put his feelings aside.

Maybe, with time, Yosuke could prove that he was more than just the bravado he put on.

Notes:

Being the leader does things to a man. For Yosuke, it makes his insecurities worse.

Chapter 23: Too Much, Too Soon

Summary:

When the next swap occurs, Yosuke tries to make something from the origami craft box he found. Unfortunately, as he often does while working, his mind wanders to something else entirely…

Notes:

Waiterrrrr more yearninggg pleaseeeee!
Also not me low-key getting into origami because of writing this

Yosuke thought, after so many swaps with Yu, he'd be enjoying the city again and really satiate the need for adventure he had back when it started. But the longer this went on, the more he grew to realize… the opposite was true.

And honestly…? He wasn't bothered.

He couldn't entirely blame the rain for it either. No. With each snapshot of time he spent back here, the more Yosuke felt the rose tinted glasses begin to crack, leaving behind an environment and living space that only made him want to mask himself, hide what he truly wanted.

The city just… didn't spark his excitement anymore, because whenever he thought about his time here, he thought of his friends... and, well… Yosuke was starting to think that maybe his standing with Saki-senpai was just a repeat cycle of a history he'd only recently begun to think about again.

That maybe Katsuragi-san and the others weren't that interested in him after all… he couldn't even remember the last time they hung out before the move.

Huh…

Maybe that saying about being blinded by nostalgia held some truth after all.

Regardless of the nostalgia tinged poisonous by recent realizations, what really got Yosuke's attention today was the box.

That box.

The box that sat, unmoving from the spot he'd left it, but the lid removed and dust cleaned up.

He smiled, then grabbed a handful of the origami paper and the 1,000 designs guidebook, and set it down on Yu's desk.

Okay, it was go time.

He was not exactly familiar with origami, or really being particularly crafty in general, so it would be nice to at least try it.

What other way could he possibly kill time, after all?

As he looked through some of the papers he'd grabbed, a note from Yu torn out of the journal passed his peripheral vision, and what Yosuke saw made his eyes light up with joy.

Thank you for the recommendations, aibou! I really appreciate it, so… Can I be honest about something? Until you left that list of songs for me, I never really noticed how quiet my parent's apartment was…

Huh… now that he thought of it, the rain had been Yu's only soundtrack for—God, hasn't it been almost three months already? With such a dark sky, the sun not letting its light flow through even the clouds for a moment of reprieve, Yosuke felt drained just thinking about it. This place needed some warmth, some life, some noise…

He shook the thought out of his mind, and read on.

Maybe it's just the weather, but since I got these, I can't stand the quiet anymore… it's almost like I'm too aware of how silent it is.

Yosuke just now noticed the pair of golden headphones sitting on Yu's desk, right next to a three ring binder, the journal, a hole puncher, and a pair of scissors.

I've started organizing our notes to each other, and I think I was actually able to work faster because I had something to listen to… so really, thank you, Yosuke.

His smile only deepened, as did the pink hue on his face, and he replied.

No problem, partner! Glad you're enjoying them so far. The headphones you got look awesome too! I see you didn't move that box of origami stuff from last time, so y'know what? I'm gonna try and make something.

He sat the page on top of the binder, put on the headphones, and got to work.

Yu was right. The songs he'd listened to both on repeat and in rotation till the point he'd get sick of some or stuck on others drowned out the noise of the murky, almost oily looking rain as it beat against the window, the dark green sky nothing but a hum that only periodically took him out of it.

He picked up a swatch of paper colored a vivid shade of orange, then looked at the book for a basic design. There were some, like the crane and a few flowers, that he'd recognized by iconography alone, despite never once trying it himself.

Yosuke absentmindedly held it against his arm as he tried looking for a second piece to use, and the flush that he thought had left him magnified in its intensity.

He wasn't savvy with fabric or outfits in the slightest like Kanji was, but something in the back of his mind told him Yu would look very good in orange…

He was referencing the page he'd stopped on before he could think about what he was doing. It was only now occurring to him that Yu, not just any guy, but Yu specifically, was the one he'd been looking at with so much admiration…

Though, that got him thinking. Calling the way in which they met strange was… an understatement, but a new form of longing took root in Yosuke's heart as he truly began to take in what it meant.

A longing to just… be with him. Stay with him. At the very least then, they could weather the storm together and he wouldn't be suffocated by this ever constant loneliness…

But… no. That want couldn't be satiated no matter how starved he was to hear Yu speak to him, for Yu to be near him…

It was such a uniquely beautiful heartache in his chest just as it was bittersweet in his throat, because while Yosuke was literally borrowing his body… the hurt he felt burning his insides couldn't be healed, and simply sharing lives every now and then wouldn't and didn't feel like the balm he needed.

The voice he spoke with and the hands Yosuke had been moving with such painstaking precision and folding attempt after folding attempt weren't his own, but God what he'd give to be beside them right now… but no. That couldn't happen.

…Well, it wasn't a 'never going to happen' kind of deal, but just a 'not now'… hopefully… probably…

But 'now' wasn't soon.

He couldn't leave Inaba because he was busy with the murder case, and Yu couldn't leave Tokyo because of the poisonous rain and this 'Vantablack Syndrome' thing causing travel to be completely unsafe all together…

Now was not soon, and Yosuke hated that it was the case.

Why was he even thinking this far when he didn't even tell Yu what he was thinking…? How he truly felt?

Just written words, just a note left to his partner wouldn't be enough. To say them was to mean them, and what he'd thought back on the day he'd made curry… he truly meant all of it.

Yu was a catch in nearly every aspect, and any time Yosuke felt stuck on something, whether in school or fighting Shadows, he always found himself thinking "What would my partner do?"…

He was smart, he was kind, he was everything…

Yu was golden.

He didn't need to look in the mirror to know he was blushing, but the warmth flickering in his chest didn't feel as bad as the last time he just let it simmer there…

Okay, no. Enough of that. He needed to focus on the project. The project. Folding steps. Yeah. Fold the thing. Fold the paper and don't think about how badly you want to actually be in Yu's personal space without actually being him.

Yosuke ended up with a somewhat lopsided paper crane, one wing smaller than the other, a larger body than the picture… Yeesh… wasn't pretty, but it was something.

At the very least, Yu wouldn't judge him for it… he was probably rusty at this hobby too, considering…

Well, best not think about that, or else that feeling nagging at Yosuke's heart would get even worse.

He decided to continue looking through the paper and the design books, taking up most of his time that day just pouring over a hobby Yu's parents had the gall to think wasn't important.

That one crane turned into two, then five. Then ten. Each one getting less (noticeably) uneven.

It was small, it was messy, but it was something he made. Something special.

It was selfish of him to think, but maybe, if Yosuke made 990 more cranes, he could wish to be here too or for Yu to come to Inaba and be with his real family. Make friends with his friends.

Maybe if Yosuke made those thousand cranes, he could selfishly wish that, when — if ever, he told Yu how he really felt about him, the only response he'd receive… was 'I like you too'.

But for now? He'd just have to be content with it and feel this yearning in silence, away from him, away from his partner.

On second thought, maybe it was best they couldn't be together right now.

Because with the way Yosuke's heart was racing and his typical brand of luck, he was sure these feelings wouldn't be able to stay locked up, and that it would only end in one way. The only way it'd end would be breaking his heart.

At least with this, he was breaking his own. At least then, he'd be the only one responsible for destroying himself.

He could either pine in silence or be rejected entirely with his luck, and while both were bitter tasting, the first one was more tolerable.

Yeah. He could deal with this fire by himself, and just hope someday Yu would feel its warmth too.

But not now. Not soon.

Someday, this wouldn't feel like too much.

Notes:

If Souyo aren’t pining for each other so hard it hurts to be apart you're doing it wrong k thx bye (lol)

Chapter 24: A Simple Seed of Hope

Summary:

Yu helps Nanako with her homework, and learns more about the Dojima's over making paper cranes.

Notes:

More found familyyyy

There was something special about being invited over to visit family unexpectedly. Not that Yu's cousin would ever know that, at least not right now.

He'd gotten a call from Hanamura-san while on the way home asking if he could help Nanako with her homework instead of work that day, something about needing someone to mark a book report she was writing and Yu agreed, only stopping by Junes to grab craft supplies and check out a job board in town.

Luck appeared to be on his side that day, because the offering he'd grabbed lined up perfectly with his afternoon.

"Hi, Yosuke-nii!"

"Hey, Nanako-chan. You said you needed help with some homework?"

The little girl nodded energetically and stepped inside. "Mhm! Come in!"

Yu couldn't stop himself from smiling as he obliged. "Hope you don't mind but I brought something else to do after we're done."

"Really? What'd you bring?" Nanako's eyes sparkled as she sat down, a packet of juice and cup of tea already ready for the next few hours.

Yu sat down across from her and plopped the bag of goods next to his spot, fishing out a small stack of rainbow origami paper. "Do you know how to do origami, Nanako-chan?"

"Ummm…" she stopped writing her report, lost in thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. My teacher had us make flowers for Mother's Day."

She wouldn't see it, but for a split second Yu's smile turned mournful. He swallowed his reaction with a sip of tea, determined to not let this ever deepening precise grief consume him. "Oh? I… I bet she loved them."

At his response, he was surprised to see Nanako looking down sadly. "I dunno… I don't have a mom. She died in an accident."

What…?

He shifted his gaze downward apologetically. "Oh… I-I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay…I'm not lonely." the way Nanako shrugged off such a heartbreaking thing, the way she'd so casually said it in the first place… it broke Yu's heart he wasn't there to help…he was her cousin after all, and family shouldn't be this distant. "I gave the flowers to Dad instead, and he liked them. See?"

She pointed over to the fridge, the clear image of folded paper flowers magnetized to the door. It shared a spot with a photo of a younger Nanako, Dojima, and a woman's face Yu couldn't make out due to the glare of the summer sun. He didn't have to see it to know it must've been his aunt…

His aunt he… never met…

"You must miss her a lot… your mom, I mean." Yu commented as he worked on folding a cranes wings.

"Yeah… I miss her, but it's okay. I have my Dad, and umm…" She waited a beat, then looked straight at Yu with curiosity. "Hey, Yosuke-nii? Can friends also be family?"

Huh… the question was met with surprisingly not an immediate answer. Not to Yu. He'd never really thought about it much, but… maybe.

Maybe friends could be family too.

"I think so. Why do you ask?"

"You're here too," she slid her report over, along with a brightly colored pen. "You wanted to help with my homework, and you helped us make dinner… doesn't that make us friends?"

Yu let a light snicker escape him as he finished up a crane. Still uneven. Urgh…

"Yeah… I'll just have to come here more often, then. Whenever you need help, I'll be there." Come to think of it, Yu considered Yosuke a friend too, he'd said the same thing… but…

He couldn't deliberate on it now, not in front of her, but something loud and warm inside his chest was screaming at him that 'friend' was not the right word to use.

Shifting his focus, Yu looked down at the report. "So, you need me to mark this, right?"

"Mhm!"

He looked down, skimming over what she'd written as he spun the pen in between his fingers. This was about as in depth of a review of a book as it could possibly get. At least by the standards of a grade schooler.

Yu forced himself to smile at it. These assignments were always tough for him growing up, what with his 'guardians' being busy 90 percent of the time. He'd fail them, then get berated over failing despite reading the book cover to cover multiple times. Some people just didn't mark them because apparently the 10 percent of remaining time they had open, they didn't want him to bug them.

In his own way, Yu was almost jealous of her. Nanako was so excitable, so eager… so… happy to just be in the moment and experience new things.

How stupid… he was almost an adult now, at least, in the next year anyway. He should just get over it.

He doodled a small cat as a mark, much to the delight of Nanako, who then spent the afternoon making cranes with him. Some of hers were just as unevenly folded as his were, but Yu didn't hold it against her.

The last time he'd made origami this consistently was when he was about her age and that was for… well…

"The weather's been really nice lately… have you done anything fun for summer, Nanako-chan?"

Nanako's gaze shot up to the sky as she thought, then walked over to a small pail full of gardening supplies. "I wanted to grow some veggies, but we don't have a spot for it…"

"You have a little area out front don't you? Who says that can't be your garden?"

She looked at him, surprised. "You can do that?"

"We won't know till we take a look, right? C'mon."

The space outside the Dojima residence was small, Nanako was right, but with the cinderblocks and soil in the area, it was enough. Nanako, of course, was overjoyed at the idea, and as Yu went to buy some seeds, he was met with… skepticism.

"The Prince of Junes? Growing his own vegetables? How… unexpected." One lady had commented with more than noticeable judgement.

The staring though, that was the more noticeable part as he made his way back. When he did, they got to work.

It turned out that preparing soil for gardening actually took longer than he thought, so long in fact that Dojima got home as they were planting some of the last seeds he got.

"Well, looks like someone got up to some work while I was gone!"

Yu's first instinct, despite the cheerful and surprised tone his uncle had, was to apologize. When he saw Nanako pop up with an energetic wave, though, his posture relaxed and his apology fizzled away. This… wasnt something he should apologize for.

"Are you going to join us for dinner?"

They were looking at him expectedly, but for once, it wasn't his own overwhelming emotions that made him deny it. Truth be told, this work was surprisingly exhausting, and Yu wanted to both rest and see if he could read back some of Yosuke's notes to him… alongside that same nagging feeling.

Friends could be family… but calling Yosuke that felt wrong but also right? How on earth did that make sense?! What even was he to him?

"Ah, sorry, again… I'm pretty busy, with uh, homework… yeah. Homework." Nanako looked down sadly, but then he knelt down and lightly patted her shoulder. "Next time, okay? I won't be busy."

"Okay! I'll see you later, Yosuke-nii! Bye bye!"

"Bye! Keep me posted on the garden!!"

Going home was the perfect breathing room he needed, the perfect river of silence to exist in as it lapped at the shores of his thoughts. Family could be… many things, including friends, but if it simply had the definition of 'people in your life who are important to you', that broad of a statement couldn't even come close to summarizing how he felt about Yosuke in particular.

The dusk colored sky was a special kind of beautiful when all he'd ever seen these past three months was nothing but storm clouds, and the setting sun reminded him that this too would have to end someday.

Yu was no closer to deciphering what exactly was causing them to switch bodies like this, but as he palmed the yellow bandanna in his pocket, a thought, selfish and yearning, crawled its way into his mind as he got home and walked up to Yosuke's room.

He didn't want this to stop.

There was something about Yosuke, about Inaba, that was perfect and indescribable at the same time. The days were long and the Samegawa's hums of serenity never stopped, but at the same time it felt painted on with such precision that it almost felt fake. But it wasn't. Inaba was real, Inaba was homey in it's simplicity, and Yosuke…

Yosuke was, in his own way, beautiful…

Maybe that's why he got his headphones in gold after all…

It reminded him of the sun, how brightly it used to shine. And, well…

Yu smiled at 'his' reflection.

He couldn't lie… but he'd kill to see this kind of sunlight in person sometime too.

If only he could be here as himself… if only he could've gone here… stayed here… why?

Why did his mother do this…? What reason could she possibly have had for shielding her own son from his family?! His aunt was gone. His aunt was dead and Yu had never even heard of what caused it or even seen her face in… God, he couldn't even remember how many years…

Why… why?!

Well… he already knew the answer to that, and it made Yu want to throw up.

Taking a breath, Yu steadied himself at Yosuke's desk and flipped through his notes, smiling slightly again.

Rise's alright! We saved her a little bit ago and she's recovering now, but Ted kinda… maybe sorta blew himself up in the process?

Yu couldn't fight the laugh that tore its way out of him as he replied.

Blew up? Hah, what, did he lose all his stuffing or something?

He glanced back up at the notes Yosuke left.

Have you heard of Risette, partner? She's like this super famous and cute idol and I'm such a big fan!

Risette… he vaguely recalled seeing a poster of her on the way to Shujin, but he never looked at it too closely. He read on.

That does kinda throw a wrench into what we thought the killer's pattern was though. The victims weren't all women, but all of them appeared on TV at some point… isn't it like, extra weird that the killer's not targeting more people? Like, two a week? Why the gaps?

A thought exploded into Yu's mind as he combed over the details.

Hmm… of the kidnapped victims, haven't all of them been from your school? Shouldn't that be a possibility as well, and Yamano being the first victim was just an outlier?

He skipped a few lines, then sighed. He had to tell him about today… didn't want Yosuke to get blindsided by being asked to pick vegetables.

I went to spend time with Nanako today and… I guess my aunt Dojima passed ages ago… and I had no idea. It's the first time I'd ever heard her name, come to think of it.

Yu swallowed, uneasy at how depressing of an update that sounded.

We started a garden though, so if you ever get any calls from my Uncle or Nanako asking about helping harvest veggies, then that's why. I also might've started doing volunteer work. The one on the job board with the origami cranes. It's very flexible so you don't have to worry about losing any money or time to it… sorry, aibou.

He took a breath and looked back in the mirror again, thinking even more about the events of the day. Family wasn't right… friend felt like sugarcoating…

He'd only ever read his writing, but Yosuke was the kind of person he wanted to be in all parts of his life. He was the type to inspire him when everything seemed too dark, too distressing. If he were honest, Yu wasn't sure if he wanted to be him, or if… If he wanted him.

It almost broke his heart to think about, but if it weren't for Yosuke and this… situation they were stuck in, he probably wouldn't have much reason to get up in the morning… what with the weather getting worse.

If he were actually here, as himself, Yu wanted to grab Yosuke's hand and never let go. He wanted to go sightseeing and truly take in the beauty that was Inaba with his own eyes as Yosuke walked him through it all… he wanted to be with his family and truly feel like he was apart of it, not just some prop to brag about at social events…

If he couldn't bring up the Dojimas to his parents, he was stuck…

Or… was he?

A wicked smirk grew on his face as he got ready to sleep for the night.

They said that he'd be disowned and kicked out if he ever mentioned the Dojimas again…

They didn't say anything about investigating them by himself, now did they?

Heh, genius. Once he got back, he'd look into his family by himself.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

Notes:

:) he’s gonna be fiiiiiiiine

Chapter 25: The Horned Owl

Summary:

Adachi calls Yu in a frenzied panic requesting backup as a particularly aggressive Shadow tries breaking into the police station.

Notes:

uh oh

"Five in the morning…"

Yu slammed his head into his pillow again, groaning his frustration into the fabric as he blindly reached for his phone. It had been ringing for a solid three minutes before he finally resigned his mind to not being able to sleep in.

Groggy and not caring who the ID belonged to, he picked up, muttering out an extremely tired "Hello…?"

"Narukami! Oh, thank god you picked up because I need help!!"

"Adachi-san…?" Yu groaned, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "You need my help…?"

"Yes, I—!" There was a loud, unsettling thump from the other line as if a door had been slammed into, followed by a near ear splitting avian screech that almost sounded like an older man shouting. "I need backup! There's a Shadow hunting me down!!"

"Did you shoot its mask?!"

"I can't—!!" Another thud. "It's being too damn difficult!! Won't—stay still…gah!!"

The call was dropped.

Yu didn't waste any time. Though sleep still clung to his eyes, he threw on a suitable outfit to protect from the rain soaking his skin, grabbed his umbrella, and ran off to the station.

The fog had gotten ridiculously thick that morning and he'd be lucky if he could see clearly in front of him. The lights from inside the buildings helped — what little were open this early, and the mix of smells engulfed the area the closer he got, that of burnt out cigarettes, gun smoke and a faint hint of sake…

Another loud, bird-like screech cut through the air and Yu stiffened, cursing at himself for not having a weapon on standby as a dark shape began forming from a distance. The fog got darker, denser, and took the form of an owl, its horns billowing plumes of smoke alongside its wings, which ending in a single ash gray claw with red thorn-like whips tied to them.

Its mask was situated on its face, just above the beak, dark blue in color with diamond shaped eyes and 'mouth' making it look permanently surprised. Again, like with the last peculiar Shadow, there was a numeral etched into it. This time, it was five.

The Shadow roared in anger, batting its whips at the door almost as if it was trying to break the door down.

Yu's blood ran cold and his body moved before he could even remember to think straight, straining himself to hear any words the monster was saying over its animalistic wailing as he positioned his body in between the Shadow and the door, his arms outstretched as if that'd do anything to block it.

He didn't know if he should've been more terrified that it sounded like it was furiously screeching Adachi's name… or the fact that the moment Yu stepped in front of it, the monster stopped its rampage entirely to stare at him even though it didn't have any eyes…

'What the hell am I thinking…?!'

He wasn't.

"Narukami!! G-Get the hell away from that thing!! I-I know I said I needed back up, but from a distance!!"

He didn't.

The owl did not move for a solid minute, as if studying him. Then it did something neither Yu or Adachi expected.

The sharp edge on the whip-like appendages appeared to retract, turning them into more sashes rather than weapons. It then maneuvered its clawed wings to wrap them around his torso, squeezed Yu somewhat firmly but not to the point it hurt, then released him.

Was… was that supposed to have been a hug?

It opened its beak and spoke to him. He once again tried to make out the words amidst the same noises that sounded eerily like TV static.

"S…or..ry…" it paused. "N…ot…e..no…ugh.."

It was… apologizing? Why was it apologizing to him?!

The owl looked down at Yu, and even though the Shadow didn't have eyes, he could feel the expression would've been sad.

"Li…ke…her…"

Like her…? Her who?! What was going on?!

The only sound Yu could hear through the thunder of his own heartbeat was the clicking of the Shadow's beak, almost as if it was hissing at Adachi through the window before it flew away.

And of course, that was the moment Yu's legs felt like jelly and he wanted to pass out.

"We have GOT to talk about your complete lack of preservation instincts, Narukami…!" Adachi wheezed out in exhaustion as he pried open the door to the police station, pulling him inside and sittimg him in a small, somewhat disheveled looking office near the back of the building. "What the hell were you thinking, damn it!! I thought I warned you those things were bloodthirsty!"

Yu had been moved, pulled away from his rooted spot on the concrete from when he'd stared that thing down, but mentally it was as if time itself had stopped. All clocks had broken as his mind continued spinning the Shadow's words over and over and over…

"Sorry"… "not enough"…and, the most haunting of them all: "like her"…

Really, it was those last two that got him so entangled within his own thoughts to the point of becoming willfully deafened to Adachi's lecturing.

Who? Who was this 'her'…?

"Hey!!" He felt someone shaking his shoulders, and he shook his head, pulled out of the loop. "Are you listening to me?"

"Oh, uh… yeah, sorry. Just… got stuck on something the Shadow said to me."

Adachi's face scrunched up in suspicion of his claims. "They can't speak anymore, Narukami. From the little information about their bodies we've got to work with, these things have no vocal cords..."

"No, y-you don't get it! I swear, I heard a voice! It was speaking to me!" Yu's hands entangled themselves into his hair as the spiral resumed its course, the descent downwards back into a goofy loop solely focusing on proving that he wasn't losing it! "It was apologizing to me!… but for what? Why…?"

The detective across from him folded his arms, both unconvinced amd unamused, before shrugging and looking disappointed. "You're clearly not well, Narukami. You don't know what you're saying, and… maybe I misjudged your capability to handle this after all."

Oh no… he messed up…

Panicked, Yu frantically shook his head and shrunk back into himself. If he lost his only connection to the mysterious disease, then Yu would never find out the truth! He'd never find out what was causing it, who was the first victim and why that Shadow stopped attacking him! "I-I'm not! I can still help! I'll prove it!"

Adachi pressed his cheek into his knuckles and narrowed his eyes, still skeptical. "Mmm, I don't know… you haven't done as you’re told so far."

"I-I swear, I'll make sure I kill it next time! I'll even call you, and make sure you watch!"

His posture relaxed at the response, and Adachi grinned as he held out his hand. "…Fine then. I'll be expecting a lot from you, so don't burden me like you have been."

Time seemed to slow again, seconds drudging through murk and minutes dragged down by molasses alike as Yu hesitated to return the gesture.

There it was again.

The same, nagging feeling that something was wrong, like a bug irritatingly buzzing near his ears but flying away too fast to be swatted down.

He shook the thought out of his mind before it could develop into something worse. No… maybe it's nothing.

Maybe Adachi-san was the same, actually. He was a detective in the middle of all this mess, and he seemed just about as clueless about these things as Yu was…

They clearly wouldn't get any further into figuring this situation out without the others help, so…

He sighed, and took Adachi's hand.

"Deal."

Adachi's smile widened, and perhaps it was just the early dawn light, but it almost looked like there was a glimmer of amusement crossing his gaze.

"Now go home and get some rest. I'll call you any time I get another report on them."

"Yeah," Yu replied, somewhat dazed. "Yeah… thank you, Adachi-san."

He really did need to rest, it seemed, because the longer he walked through the fog covered city streets, the more nauseated he felt. As if the air itself was hard to breathe without feeling like he needed to throw up.

Collapsing back into his bed the moment he got home, Yu felt a weeks worth of exhaustion crash into him at mach speed, yet still couldn't fall asleep due to what he was sure of…

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, and he didn't have anyone else to turn to for answers…

Anyone… except Adachi.

He hated to believe it, but it was starting to look like if he ever tried investigating either his family or the disease on his own, all he'd do was run in circles.

At least now, with Adachi's help, Yu could hopefully be steered in the right direction and find the answers he needed.

He wouldn't let the truth fade into the fog, just like how the skyline had been swallowed whole.

He would never let that happen.

Notes:

The Shadow looks remorseful…

Notes:

Have I mentioned how much I love Yosuke and want to put him in an emotional blender yet.