Chapter Text
You’re pretty sure your soul left your body. You had no idea how you ended up here, on a white film set, looking at all 8 members of ATEEZ.
I mean you knew how you literally ended up here. The premise had seemed simple enough – go to your cousin Marina’s workplace at some stupid YouTube channel headquarters, watch some ATEEZ videos, talk about how you were a new fan, how you’d discovered them, and how much of a struggle it was trying to pick a bias out of 8 perfectly sculpted insane-face-card talented Korean 20-something-year-olds. For your cousin it was just a normal day at work making stupid content, except today she got to laugh at you waxing poetic about your latest hyperfixation.
It had crossed your mind, huh what if ATEEZ are actually there and it’s one of those prank set ups like ‘haha we heard you talking about us, we’re so happy to meet you and hear how much you love us’. Of course it had, it was every fan’s secret dream. You just weren’t insane enough to destroy your sanity hoping and imagining it might be real, so you pushed the thought aside.
Now, sitting on a stool facing those 8 perfect faces, your mind looped through the moment when Hongjoong had jumped out from behind the false wall and made you scream, followed by the other 7 who piled around you. Seonghwa had pulled you against his chest as your voice started to crack with emotion, a cocktail of shock and embarrassment and happiness overwhelming you, and San and Wooyoung had crowded in behind you as your tears started, the three of them cooing and stroking your hair as you tried to regain control of your emotions. It had been such a huge shock, but now that the initial adrenaline was levelling out it was starting to sink in that they were really here. This was real. And you’d already cried in front of them. And the things you’d said when you didn’t think they were here and listening?? You might throw up later.
You looked over at the crew and locked eyes with Marina. You knew?? you mouthed. She nodded, grinning. You stared daggers, miming a hand across your throat as you mouthed: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU. She blew a kiss and made a hand heart, replying You’re welcome.
The new premise was as follows, the director explained: You are a relatively new ATINY, and you’re struggling to pick a bias – true, you were pretty sure you were going to be OT8 forever – so here are ATEEZ to compete with each other to become your bias! No rules, they just have to try and convince you why it should be them. By the end you can pick a bias and a bias wrecker.
What a totally sane premise...
You honestly zoned out through the filming of ATEEZ introducing themselves. You were sweating already when Jerry, the director, shouted your name. You looked up, plastering a smile on your face that must have looked as manic as you felt.
“You ready?” Jerry gestured for you to come stand on one of the marks in front of the cameras.
“Yeah!” your voice cracked again and you cleared your throat, sliding off the chair and praying your legs wouldn’t give out as you stood on top of the grey taped X.
“Ok, boys who’s first?” Marina asked.
Several rounds of rock, paper, scissors later an order was agreed and Jongho got up.
“Youngest first!” Hongjoong scoffed, crossing his arms and pouting.
“Hi,” Jongho smiled as he stepped onto his mark and met your gaze. Woah, his eyes were even more stunning in real life.
“Hi,” you managed to squeak out.
“How are you?”
“Ok thanks. How are you?”
“I’m very good now that I’m talking to you.” Jongho winked.
“FLIRTING?!” San and Mingi yelled, before being chastised by Yunho. Yeosang giggled, his blush matching your own as he hid behind his hands.
“Ok, so you told us earlier how much you love Jongho’s singing. Anything you wanted to add to that now he’s here?”
“Um...” you twisted your hands. Jongho watched you intently. Shit.
Facing the camera and trying to pull your thoughts together, you cracked your neck to the side. Ok, you could do this – you’d raved about them all enough times on Tumblr for goodness’ sake. What did you like about Jongho?
“I mean, yeah he’s such an incredible singer, his range and power are crazy. But he’s a fantastic dancer too and I think a lot of people sleep on that.”
“Oh! Thank you,” Jongho smiled, meeting your eyes again as you turned back to him.
“And he has really pretty eyes,” you added, a little starstruck. Then it sunk in that you’d just said that out loud.
Jongho’s eyebrows raised and he pointed at himself. “Me?? These eyes?” He pointed at them and crossed them into a squint, making you laugh.
“Alright Jongho, why should you be her bias?” Jerry asked.
“Hmmm,” Jongho rubbed his chin in mock-thoughtfulness, “I mean she said it all, I’m the whole package, right?” He spread his arms with clear confidence as he continued. “Singer, dancer - ” He did a dance move and span around, earning cheers from his members. “And.... ‘pretty eyes’, hmm?” Jongho tilted his head and looked at you for a few seconds. “Yours are prettier.” The boys hollered behind him, but he ignored them, holding your gaze.
Oh hell, he was good.
“What’s your favourite song?”
You told him and he belted out the chorus. Hearing him at close range was mindblowing and you applauded in a lovestruck daze with the rest of the crew when he finished. He bowed, thanking everyone, before he took a step closer.
“Can I hold your hand?” Jongho asked, offering both his hands out to you, tilting his head in question to see if you were alright with touch.
“Yeah of course!” yelled your cousin before you could respond. “Do whatever you want with her!”
Everyone burst out laughing as Jongho quirked an eyebrow suggestively, smirking at you.
“Within reason please!” Jerry added.
“Ok, ok,” Jongho laughed, his nose scrunching.
You nodded, your hands shaking as you slipped them into his. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.
“Oh,” he breathed, squeezing your hands and pulling them to his chest, purposefully bringing you closer to him. “Your hands are so cold! Don’t worry, I’ll warm them for you.”
You collapsed into a fit of giggles, but his grip kept your hands against his sternum. Wow he’s strong.
“You’re so cute,” he grinned, watching you struggle to pull your hands away. The man was diabolical and he absolutely knew what he was doing to you. His gaze turned dark, eyes drifting as you could see the cogs turning in his mind. He looked towards the crew, still holding your hands captive against his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, disarmingly steady under your fingers. “You said I can do whatever I want? Within reason?”
With a cautious nod from the crew, he turned his mischievous gaze back on you. Uh oh.
“Great. I’m stealing her."
“Wait wha - ”
You screamed as he yanked your hands past his neck, bending to grip your waist and lifting you over his shoulder with unreasonable ease. Your hands gripped onto his shirt at his lower back, your legs kicking before he grabbed them with one hand. The rest of the members fell into hysterics as Jongho nonchalantly carried you off set, whistling happily, ignoring your pleas to be put down. When he reached the stage door he bent forward, your feet meeting the floor again. Your face was bright pink and you couldn’t stop giggling as he took your hand again and led you back to your marks in front of the camera, mock-apologising to all of the crew as he went. “Sorry, sorry folks, I don’t know what came over me, she’s just so cute I couldn’t resist.”
Still holding your hand, he lifted it up and placed a chaste kiss to your knuckles, winking at you as he did.
You hid your face in your hands as he walked back to his seat, high fiving Mingi as he passed. If this was the start you had no clue how you were going to survive 7 more attempts to win you over.
Yeosang was up next, and he immediately reached for your hand, both of you struggling to maintain eye contact as you both giggled at the awkwardness of the situation.
“We’ve got to get it together!” you whispered.
“Ok, ok,” he pressed his lips together, looking at the ceiling, copying you as you took some deep breaths to steady yourself. “We can do this. Fighting.”
“We can. Ok.” Your eyes met and you smiled through the nerves. “Hi Yeosang.”
“Hi noona.”
You both buckled at the same time, unable to hold it together. Yeosang pulled you towards him as he laughed, unexpectedly hugging you close while apologising for being overly familiar – ironic when you were now pressed to his chest, trying really really hard to not notice just how muscular he was under his fuzzy cardigan. He smelled like leather and almonds. You tried instead to focus on Yeosang running his thumb back and forth between your shoulder blades. It felt so good.
“Can I stay here?” you asked sheepishly, looking up at Yeosang first and then towards the crew. You knew he didn’t like skinship with the members, so you braced yourself to be politely rejected. Yeosang smiled, holding you tighter. Ok then. Maybe he only liked it on his terms?
“Sure,” Jerry shrugged, “Ok so you said earlier that Yeosang is ‘beautiful’ when he performs, and you admire his work ethic.”
“I do!” you smiled up at him as he blushed.
“And you said you love his part in Halazia? Care to show us Yeosang? It might help you win her over,” Jerry prompted.
Yeosang stepped out of your arms to perform the section, a little half-hearted in his shyness, but his voice resonated in the space and it made you shiver hearing it live. He finished and clutched his hands together self-consciously as everyone clapped.
“Yeah I’m sorry but - ” You made a show out of bowing, waving your arms in mock-worship, making him blush deeper and giggle as he begged for you to stop, insisting it wasn’t that good.
Jerry smirked as he read his notepad. “You also said that you love his ‘genderfuckery’ – care to expand on that?”
“Oh hell...” You hid your face in your hands as the members all laughed, knowing the ground would sadly not swallow you up, and trying to gather yourself enough to explain. You jumped slightly as a hand pulled one of yours away from your face, lacing your fingers together. Yeosang’s angelic face gazed at you with something you hoped was more concern than pity.
Oh fuck. Get it together.
You took a deep breath before removing your other hand from your face, determined to look at the camera and not the living statue holding your hand.
“Ok. I just mean... it’s the Maltese versus the Doberman side, right? Like he has this duality that he moves between and around and through of cuteness and darkness, feminine and masculine, and he always seems comfortable in his own skin and doing his own thing, and I think that’s beautiful.”
“Awwww, noona,” Yeosang pouted, awkwardly wrapping one arm around you. “Thank you so much. And to answer the next question – I think there are plenty of better choices in this group for your bias - ” You objected loudly and so did several other members. Yeosang chuckled and shushed you all, leaning back to look at your face. “But I would be honoured if this beautiful Atiny were to choose me.” He addressed the camera again, stoically adding, “I think of Atiny always, every day when I wake up and every night before I sleep. I work hard to always do my best for them, and it warms my heart that Atiny sees and appreciates that. Fighting! ”
His face in profile was something else. Hell, his face at every angle was something else. He really was breath-taking up close; you could understand the royalty comparisons. He turned back to look at you, his eyebrows lifting as he questioned your soft expression.
“You’re so handsome,” you mused out loud, instinctively reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.
Yeosang’s face turned the colour of a tomato and you felt him stiffen in your arms.
“Oh my god that was SMOOTH!!” San shouted, holding up Wooyoung who was collapsing onto him, hysterically squeaking.
Mingi was cackling and clapping. “Good girl!”
Before you could apologise, Yeosang cleared his throat before whispering, “Do you... Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend? Or someone you - ”
“Uh, no, I - I don’t...why?”
Yeosang nodded and, extricating himself from your hold, got down on one knee.
The room erupted.
“ARE YOU PROPOSING SANGIE?!”
“WHAT THE HELL YEO???”
“ARE WE ALLOWED TO DO THAT!?!”
Yeosang cleared his throat and took your hand in his.
“Can I take you out to dinner? Please?”
This was not happening. This was absolutely not happening. You had not just been asked out by Kang Yeosang down on one knee. It was fan service. It was for the content. That’s all. But still, you found yourself nodding, wide-eyed, watching as Yeosang ducked his head to hide what looked like a genuine smile. Without meeting your eyes he kissed your hand, standing and pulling you into one last tight hug before he scurried back to his seat.
“Holy shit...” you muttered.
“Holy shit,” Yeosang echoed.
“NO BAD WORDS!” Hongjoong barked behind you.
“Sorry Captain!” You clapped your hands over your mouth, turning and bowing to him in apology. He laughed, holding up his hands in apology himself, explaining he was chastising his member and not you.
Wooyoung was next and he skipped over, immediately wrapping you in his long arms and pulling you against him. Christ, these boys were good huggers. You harshly reminded yourself this was all for the content and to not lose yourself in it too much.
“So...” Jerry the shit-stirrer began, “You said Wooyoung is like a black cat who got turned into a human? Care to explain?”
“Jung Wooyoung...” you began to answer, giggling as he squeezed you playfully.
“You better only say nice things about me,” he said, stepping around you so he could continue holding you from behind while you spoke to the camera without him having to let go of you.
“So, Wooyoung is the worst,” you started, screaming when he lightly smacked your waist and bit your shoulder. “Ow! Ok, I'm sorry, I’m sorry!! He’s wonderful. He’s beautiful, I mean just look at this face.”
“Thank you, my mother gave me it," he purred, hooking his chin over your shoulder.
You suppressed a laugh, trying to carry on and keep a straight face. “Yes, he’s the most troublesome sometimes - ” That earned you another half-hearted slap and annoyed cat noise. “But it’s always in good fun and he knows where the boundaries are.”
Jerry nodded, reading from his notes “Yes, you said, quote, ‘The way he is with children and animals – that’s the sign of a genuinely great human being’.”
“Awwww,” Wooyoung’s voice wobbled as he leaned around to look you in the eyes, “Really, honey?”
“Really,” you giggled, blushing at the pet name. Not wanting to miss the opportunity, you summoned a little bravery and held his gaze. “And while you’re here, can I just say I love Sagittarius.” Feeling a little shaky, you grounded yourself by grabbing his hand at your waist, letting him interlace your fingers. “It’s such a different style for ATEEZ and it suits you so well. I was so proud of you when I saw it.”
“Jagiyaaaaaa,” Wooyoung turned you in his arms and lifted you up, spinning you around and making you squeal before placing you back down.
“Ok," Jerry continued, sounding a little bored, “and Wooyoung, why do you think you should be her bias?”
“Because I’m the best, onstage and off.” He shrugged. “That's what you said, right, baby?” He grinned as you laughed. “Ah, you are so cute, I just want to - ” He squeezed your cheeks with clear cuteness aggression. “Quick, look at the camera!” He opened up the hug, one arm still around your waist, so you were both facing the crew. “Ready, copy me!” He led you through a series of aeygo poses, finishing with your arms meeting above your heads in a big heart.
Suddenly you felt lips against your cheek, a quick press before he turned back to face the camera. Turning towards him, you pressed a matching kiss to his cheek. He giggled, turning to kiss your cheek again.
“If you do that again, I might actually kiss you back,” he teased.
“No you won’t,” you jibed back and turned again, enjoying this silly game you two had started and not seriously expecting him to follow through. You should’ve known not to underestimate Jung Wooyoung.
His face turned towards yours at the same time as you turned, his arm around your waist pulled you against his chest, and your brain short-circuited as soft plush lips pressed against yours.
“WOOYOUNG!!!” San and Hongjoong leapt up from their seats, as the rest of the members yelled over each other and the crew shouted too.
“IS THAT ‘WITHIN REASON’?!” Jongho shouted, waving his arms at the crew like he was trying to get a referee’s attention.
Wooyoung broke the kiss to turn and bark at them, “You’re just jealous!” He looked back at you, expression creasing as he struggled to hold in a laugh, forehead bumping against yours. “Are you ok?” he whispered.
You nodded against him, drawing in a very shaky breath that made him hold your waist tighter. How could you possibly explain how you felt when you weren’t even sure yourself? Something you had daydreamed about had actually happened... Your brain just couldn’t compute reality.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped, I - ”
“You didn’t,” you whispered, biting your lip in shock at your own boldness and meeting his eyes.
You were pretty sure you heard him whimper, your only warning before his lips were on yours again, and you were being dipped back into a full-on romcom movie kiss, one foot leaving the floor, tongues meeting as you hummed into each other’s mouths.
“Uh, guys!?” Marina’s voice was lost in the uproar of the members.
Jerry’s voice cut through the noise though. “CUT! Jesus... ok can we reset! Guys can we keep it PG please!? The editors are going to have a nightmare with this. Whose idea was this, Jesus. Can I get makeup in here now please to fix this??”
Marina ran forward as Wooyoung righted you, both of you giggling and holding each other up.
“Dude what the hell?!!” Marina slapped you on the arm before pointing an accusatory finger at Wooyoung. “I’m only not hitting you because you’re a guest, but also – WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO MY COUSIN?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, really I am, please forgive me.” Wooyoung bowed as he apologised. Your cousin grumbled, eyes narrowing as she was called back to the other side of the camera.
The makeup artist ran over with lipstick and wipes in hand to retouch your smudged mouth. Wooyoung tutted and grabbed them, “I made the mess, I’ll fix it, please.” He led you back to your seat and ordered you to hold still as he wiped the smudged lipstick off and carefully reapplied it, tracing the outline of your lips with the brush first before filling in the centre. He tilted his head as he admired his work, pouting before leaning in to quickly peck your lips again.
“WOOYOUNG!!!” San bellowed.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry ok love ya byeeeeeee!” He ran back to his stool, leaving you reeling.
Oh shit, Yeosang. He’d just asked you out and then watched his friend make out with you. You met his eyes, only to find him doing a poor job of hiding a huge grin behind his hand, still clearly giggling.
I’m sorry, you mouthed to him.
He sat up straight, tilting his head in confusion. He shook his head with a smile, and held up a finger heart, kissing it before holding it towards you.
Not the reaction you expected. Huh. Maybe it was all just for the cameras then.
With said camera rolling again and strict instructions for everyone to behave, you took your mark again as Seonghwa stepped forward.
Yes, behave while one of the most beautiful men in all creation was standing in front of you looking like a literal deity descended from another realm to pass eternal judgment on humanity. Totally possible, in theory, if you were blind. You clenched your hands together, begging your mind to focus on the present moment and not wander off into fantasy.
“Hello, my dear,” he smiled softly, bowing his head before meeting your eyes.
Oh, you were done for.
“Hi Seonghwa, it’s so lovely to meet you.”
“Thank you, it’s lovely to meet you too,” he grinned.
You let the crew read your embarrassing ramblings about Seonghwa’s beauty and the way you loved that he acted as mother in the group, as you tried to organise in your mind what you actually wanted to say.
“You said you love his boba eyes?” Jerry asked, puzzled.
Seonghwa turned to you with his eyes huge, lips pursed, making cute little noises as he towered over you. You’d seen him do it in logbooks, but seeing him be silly in the flesh... “I think that just made my whole day,” you laughed, almost vibrating out of your skin with joy.
Jerry nodded, a smirk on his face as he read his notes. “And something about his tongue...?”
And the ground just fell out from under your feet.
“I’m going to die...” you groaned, putting your head in your hands.
“Nooo,” Seonghwa crooned, reaching over and putting an arm around your shoulders. “Why don’t you just skip to asking her what else she wants to say, hmm?” He raised a sleek brow at the director, a hint of challenge in his tone.
“Fine, sure,” Jerry shrugged, seeing the idol wasn’t taking the bait. “Go on then, anything to add?”
Anything to add after being on cloud 9 and then plummeted into humiliation in front of one of your heroes? Sure, what did you have to lose now.
“Um... Seonghwa... Well, I think it was DPR Ian who made the comment that you portray darkness beautifully?”
Seonghwa’s face broke into a glorious smile, his head ducking to hide behind his hair. You knew how much of a fanboy he was and how much that meeting and compliment had meant to him.
“I would add to that you portray both darkness and light beautifully.” His head snapped back up, his eyes genuinely big now as he waited to hear your explanation. “You can look like an ethereal angel or totally demonic, and both are just... otherworldly. Your performances are just breathtaking, some of the most enthralling I've ever seen. And as well, like I said about Yeosang, I really appreciate how you throw gender out the window. It’s beautiful and inspiring to witness someone play so freely with their expression, and I think it adds to the effect.”
Seonghwa blushed under the torrent of praise, quietly thanking you.
When asked why he should be your bias, he shrugged. “I suppose for all the reasons you said... Ultimately though, I would respect your choice. I work hard onstage with my performances and offstage with my own projects...and, as you said, sometimes mothering these children.”
“HEY!” a chorus of said children objected.
Seonghwa chuckled, a beautiful low sound in his chest. “It's nice to be appreciated for everything I do. Thank you." He looked back at you, chewing on his lip in thought. “I – I hope it’s ok?” he asked, looking up at the crew as he stepped back and reached into his jacket pocket. “I – actually Hongjoong and I split the cost – we bought a gift for you, if that’s allowed?”
Jerry nodded and Marina practically bounced with excitement. Ok so she was in on whatever this was, what a surprise.
Every single thought left your brain when Seonghwa pulled a thin black box out of his inside pocket, opening it to reveal a silver bracelet. 8 fine number 8s, decorated with clear gems in between.
Your jaw dropped.
“Your cousin didn’t know your ring size, so we thought an adjustable bracelet was the best compromise,” Seonghwa explained, lifting the bracelet out and extending it towards you. “Would you accept it?”
“Hey! That’s bribery!” Yunho called out.
“We were allowed to buy gifts?” San pouted, “Why did no one tell me??”
“Hush!” Hongjoong tapped San on the thigh. You looked over at the Captain as Seonghwa fastened the bracelet on your extended wrist, your eyes watering. This was really too much. Freaking sugar daddies Matz trying to win you over, what the actual hell.
“Thank you,” you choked out, hand covering your wobbling mouth. Hongjoong blew you a kiss and winked.
Before you completely lost your sanity, a hand squeezed yours and made you turn back to the man standing in front of you, his eyebrows lifting in the middle with concern.
“Are you ok, my love?”
You could only squeak in response before he pulled you against his chest again, his now familiar floral scent from earlier enveloping you once again. You hid your face inside his jacket as you desperately tried to get your shit together.
“Thank you,” you said into his chest, “So much.”
“You’re most welcome, my dear,” he replied, kissing the top of your head. “Mm,” he pressed his nose back to your head, breathing in, making you freeze. “You smell...sweet?”
The Park Seonghwa now knew what your freshly-washed hair smelled like and from the sound of his voice liked it. That was it, this was how you died. Marina would have to explain to your parents why she was responsible for you having an aneurysm.
Seonghwa left you with one more kiss to your forehead, his scent lingering on your clothes. Holy fuck, give me strength.
Hongjoong stood next, hands in his pockets as he strutted towards you. Before he even hit his mark you reached towards him, hesitating. “Would it be ok if I hug you, please?”
“Of course,” he grinned, opening his arms.
When Kim Hong-hates-skinship-joong opens his arms, you do not wait around.
You almost ran into him, pulling him towards you as you wrapped your arms around him, going up on your toes so you could tuck your chin over his shoulder.
“Oh my god," you laughed, "you're taller than me!" You had known in theory that he was, but it was still a shock to actually physically have your heels slightly leave the floor as you clung to his shoulders.
Hongjoong buckled against you, his squeaky laugh shaking both of you as his members cheered behind him.
“That's definitely being sampled in his next song!!" Yunho laughed.
“Yeah, can I get that audio please?" the Captain asked with a cheeky smile, giving the crew a thumbs up.
You held tight to Hongjoong as he rocked you from foot to foot. “Seriously, thank you. This means so much to me, you don’t even know, and you - ” you hiccupped, tears starting to fall. These guys didn’t even know anything about you and they’d bought you a team bracelet that matched their rings?
“Hey, hey, hey,” Hongjoong squeezed you before leaning back to cup your face, concern painting his features as his thumbs swiped across your cheeks, brushing away your tears. “We love our Atiny, and we wanted you to have something to remember that, always, we are with you and you are with us.” He looked down and lifted your hand, stroking the bracelet on your wrist, smiling. “We’re nothing without our Atiny. You are our hearts.”
You blubbed again, turning to the crew. “Sorry I think I need a minute.”
“Cut...” Jerry sighed, leaning back in his chair.
“I’m sorry,” you apologised to Hongjoong, watery and shaky.
“Nooo don’t be sorry, baby, don’t be sorry,” he cooed, dabbing at your face with his long sleeves until your tears stopped.
The crew took the opportunity for a drink break, and Hongjoong made sure you were settled with Marina before heading over to grab a bottle of water with the members. You gulped your own down, barely listening to Marina as she fixed your hair and chatted away. You were watching the members gather in a scrum, seeming to be in intense discussion, a few of them periodically glancing at you. What the hell were they plotting now?
With the crew still filtering back in with iced coffees in hand, Hongjoong strutted back over to his mark. You stood up too, joining him.
“It’ll be a few minutes,” Marina called over as she collected her order from a colleague, and Hongjoong smiled, thanking her, watching the crew reorganise themselves. Taking advantage of the lack of attention, he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “As an apology for us making you cry more than once today...” He discretely slipped something into your pocket and patted it. “We’re all having drinks in mine and Wooyoung’s room at the Hilton next door after this shoot. You’re welcome to join us, if you want to? Room 527.”
“I... uh... I...” Head empty no thoughts, error 404, don’t ask me the colour of anything. Kim Hongjoong’s hotel keycard burned in your pocket.
The Captain laughed, his eyes twinkling as he bit his tongue between his perfect teeth. He knocked one knuckle under your chin playfully. “Listen, there’s no pressure, I hope that’s clear. But we’d all like to chat more, get to know you off camera. We all really like you, and we don’t get very many chances to meet new people, you know? But we understand if you’d rather not.”
We. All. Like. You?
As the shoot restarted, you’re pretty sure you blacked out as you answered the crew’s questions about Hongjoong. Somehow you managed to speak about how much you admired him as a performer, composer and producer, how he was such an inspiration who showed how hard work can really pay off and to never give up on your creative dreams, how kind-hearted he seemed in all his endeavours. You even somehow managed to crack the in-joke about how talented he was in all positions, earning a cackle from both Wooyoung and Yunho and another wink from the Captain next to you. Putting a pin in that image for later, you somehow kept talking on autopilot.
“Seriously, all jokes aside, he can rap like a beast, scream like a rockstar, sing beautifully – have you heard his cover of The Reason by Hoobastank?? - he composes and writes and dances – like he’s beyond a triple threat, he’s like a quintuple threat or more. What's a six-fold threat??”
“Sextuple," Wooyoung supplied, and you did not miss how suggestively he hit the first syllable.
“Exactly." Your voice went up in pitch as you mentally cursed him for knowing that, watching Hongjoong’s façade come very close to cracking too.
Your speech done, you barely registered Hongjoong’s diplomatically neutral response about how wonderful it is to hear about how much Atiny loves them and how hard he works all for Atiny. Your mind was too busy tumbling through imagined scenarios of after shoot drinks with ATEEZ who liked you enough to invite you to their hotel room so they could keep getting to know you...
You were startled back to reality as Hongjoong placed a tentative hand on your waist and leaned in to place the gentlest little kiss to your cheek. His eyes met yours, with a little nod before he left you. He wandered back over to his seat, hands back in his pockets, hips swaying in that cunty signature walk of his. He peeked back over his shoulder, an almost shy smile on his face, before he shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he sat down.
“What is my life...” you whispered, staring into the void.
San was next. He immediately strode over and wrapped you in a muscular bear hug, holding you close as you breathed in his whiskey-vanilla scent, only letting you go when the crew insisted they had to see your face to film your answer.
“Alrighty...” Jerry began, “You said, verbatim, ‘San is one of the most beautiful human beings I think I’ve ever seen, honestly, like face actually sculpted from marble or something.’ Does he live up to that in the flesh?”
“No!” Wooyoung shouted from his seat, making you laugh and San scold him.
You blew out a breath, shaking your head to will the embarrassment away. “Where do I even start?” Steeling yourself, you looked up at that perfect face - strong cheekbones, full pink lips and kind eyes. “I think he’s more beautiful in person.”
San scoffed. “You’re more beautiful.”
“No, you,” you challenged.
“No, you,” San pouted.
“No, me!” Jongho shouted, making everyone laugh.
San squeezed your waist and it steadied your nerves a little, enough to keep talking. “But more than looks, his talent is undeniable. He was the first one in the group I noticed, before I fell for them all, because of his performance skills. You can see he puts his all into performances, physically, emotionally, vocally, and it’s magical to watch.”
San blushed, instinctively pulling away to hide his emotions, before immediately turning again and yanking you back against him. “I like this one!” he announced to the members, rocking you from side to side, “Can we keep her please?”
“Ok San,” Jerry interrupted, “Why should you be her bias?”
San pouted, ceasing his rocking and leaning back to look at you. “I guess if I was the first one you noticed then it would only make sense that I should be your favourite member, hm, sweetheart?” He cupped your chin in one hand, his beautiful dark eyes fixed on yours. “You have to follow your heart, princess, it never lies. Ok?”
You pressed your lips together and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to hold it together through the overwhelm and not just run away or jump his bones then and there.
“Ok?” he asked again, his grip on your chin tightening as he awaited your response.
Oh, you were going to need to unpack why his stern voice did something to you later on.
“Ok,” you whispered, nodding as much as his grip allowed. He giggled, releasing your chin and pulling you back in, bouncing excitedly in the hug. You got what the members meant when they said his mood changed quickly.
“Well, my angel,” he announced in a grand voice, suddenly holding you away from him at arm’s length, his hands gripping your upper arms. “Please forgive me that no one told me – ” He aimed a glare at Hongjoong and Seonghwa, “ – that we were bringing gifts for our beautiful Atiny. I would have brought you the world. So, in the absence of material goods, I offer what I can.” He let go of you, getting down on one knee and placing his hands over his chest. “My heart.”
There were a few suppressed laughs from the boys behind him.
“CRINGE!” Wooyoung shouted through cupped hands.
“Copy cat,” Yeosang added drily.
“Don’t be jealous,” San snapped, eyes never leaving your face.
“I'm not," Wooyoung fired back, blowing you a kiss.
“But Yeosang, I...” you started.
“You don’t mind, right Sangie?” San looked back at his own bias in the group, who shrugged with a smile. Turning triumphantly back to you, San grinned, “See? So, will you accept my heart?”
It’s fan service it’s fan service it’s fan service. Just play along.
“Only if you’ll accept mine too,” you replied to San, trying to keep your voice steady.
San blinked, buffering, clearly not expecting you to match his energy. Instantly, he was back up on his feet and on you again, cupping your face in his hands and telling you all the ways he was going to love and look after you. He placed a kiss to your forehead and each cheek, giving a sly glance to the crew before leaning in with a cartoonish pout. You pouted too and met him halfway for a goofy kiss, descending into laughter together. Jerry threw his hands up but let it slide with a grumble they could edit things out between reaction shots.
With his turn up, San picked up your hand and placed a lingering kiss to the inside of your wrist above your new bracelet, winking as he reluctantly went back to his seat, leaving you with butterflies racing around your stomach. Wooyoung smacked his shoulder as he sat down and they began to bicker about who had done better, their typical competitive natures rising.
Yunho's turn arrived and he bounded over, towering over you as he grinned, rocking back and forth on his heels waiting for the questions to start after they summarised your earlier statement.
“Alright – what else do you love about Yunho?”
“Yunho is so – ooh!” You squealed as you felt Yunho step up behind you, long arms wrapping over your chest and shoulders, his chin resting on top of your head.
“I’m so what, jagiya?” he whispered, then lifted his head up to ask: “Can I stay here while she answers the question, please?” His voice vibrated against your back. Holy shit he sounded even better in real life.
Jerry agreed and you gulped, trying to gather your thoughts and resist the urge to squeeze your thighs together at the feeling of being so surrounded. You settled your hands over Yunho’s forearms across your chest, needing to hold something to ground yourself; muscular forearms were probably not the most grounding thing to hold, in retrospect.
“Yunho is so...handsome.”
“Yes!” he cheered, wiggling behind you.
“Like I said he’s a really talented dancer and singer – and actor too now! But more than that I think he seems like a really sweet person - like he’s the one a lot of the group seem to go to or rely on? And I think that’s a sign of a good person, that he’s such a dear friend. That’s what I love about Yunho.”
The next question was unexpected as Marina asked, “Ok last minute check in - with only one more to go after this, has anyone stood out to you yet? Got a favourite so far?”
“Me,” Yunho responded for you, nodding his head next to you and nuzzling your cheek as he did. You laughed, rubbing his arms.
“Uh, I don’t know, honestly, they’re all amazing in different ways." Yeosang's blush, Wooyoung's lips, Jongho's confidence, San's stern side, Matz's bribery that had absolutely worked, Yunho's whole aura. “Just, such beautiful and kind – and generous!” You lifted up the bracelet again to show the camera. “Lovely human beings, really, I just – I can’t believe how lucky I am getting to meet and spend time with them. It’s a dream come true, literally.”
“Hang on,” called a crew member at the back, “I’m having some trouble with the signal from Yunho’s mic, give me a sec to see if it’s at this end.”
Filming paused for a moment while they checked the system.
Meanwhile Yunho’s nose was buried in the back of your hair, and you could feel his chest rise against your back as he breathed in and sighed, making goosebumps rise all over you.
“Mm,” he hummed, “Hwa was right. Sweet. Fruity?” His nose travelled down, nuzzling into your neck and inhaling. “You smell better here though. What is that?”
“I – I’m not... I don’t know...”
“That’s just you??” he whispered, inhaling again and doing a poor job of stifling a moan, making you shiver. “Damn baby...” His hips pressed against you on instinct, before pulling back quickly. “Shit, sorry, I’m sorry, forgive me.”
"Yunho..." The warning in Hongjoong's tone was clear. "Give our Atiny some space, hm?"
Yunho took a step backwards, leaving your shoulders cold as his arms dropped to his sides.
Some horny demon must have possessed you because the last thing you wanted was space. You reached back with one hand, using a belt loop on his jeans to pull his hips back against you as you turned your head to look over your shoulder at him. “Please, stay,” you whispered, honestly not knowing what had come over you.
Yunho’s wide eyes closed as he let out a shaky breath, tightening his arms around your waist this time and pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. Oh fuck.
“Ok let’s just film the last question while you figure that out,” Jerry grumbled, checking his watch.
Marina called your name, your head snapping back to her.
“Sorry, what?”
She repeated the question. “Do you think any of these final two – Yunho or Mingi - could end up on the top for you? Or has your attention already been caught?”
“Uh...”
“On top??” Wooyoung cackled before being smacked by Seonghwa, who was clearly trying not to laugh too.
Marina blushed, apologising and stumbling to reword the question, but you heard none of it because Yunho lowered his head down, his breath tickling your ear as he whispered, “Well baby, who do you want on top? Mingi or me?”
You sputtered, and Yunho laughed as he held you tightly to stop you completely folding in half, biting back a groan as your hips unintentionally pressed into his crotch. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he laughed, getting puzzled looks from the crew. You straightened yourselves back up, trying to behave.
“Um, I – I honestly don’t know yet, it’s so hard to choose any one of them,” you answered, praying your face wasn’t as bright red as it felt. “Sorry I can’t give a better answer yet, today’s been a lot to take in.”
Yes, having 8 inhumanly hot men flirt with and kiss you and all act interested in you was a total mindfuck. Now you understood the Beatles Mania, why girls screamed and fainted in front of their idols. The effect they had on you was intoxicating, almost hypnotising.
It was time to film Yunho’s answer. The sound tech sighed. “Guys we might have to come and change Yunho’s mic, I can’t figure this out.”
Yunho grumbled at the idea of having to let go of you again. He released one arm from you, and then reached into his back pocket, an audible click sounding.
“Oh, hang on, I got the signal back!”
“Sorry, I must have knocked the mic pack off accidentally,” Yunho apologised.
Accidentally my ass.
“Did you turn that off so you could say whatever you wanted??” you hissed.
He smirked and shushed you, diligently paying attention to Marina and answering her question with what you could only describe as a politician’s answer, neutral and unreadable, a sharp contrast to the way he had moaned into your neck and pressed himself up against you.
The crew thanked him and instructed him back to his seat. He placed a final kiss to your cheek, humming. “I hope you take up Hongjoong's offer to hang out with us after. I'll save a seat for you." He tapped his thigh, “Right here, yeah?"
You shuddered, having to fight the instinct to run after him and tackle him to the floor before he got back to his seat.
“Alright Mingi, last up!” Jerry instructed.
Marina locked eyes with you, her eyebrows meeting. You ok? she mouthed, giving a thumbs up. You nodded, pressing your hands to your burning cheeks to try and cool them down.
Mingi stepped forward, hitting his mark and winking at you.
“Hey, my girl.”
Damn it keep it in your pants woman.
“You said you needed a cold shower after Mingi’s section in Lemon Drop?” Jerry asked, characteristically pulling zero punches.
Unprompted Mingi saved you by launching into his section, the members adding in the fan chant behind him, hyping him up. At the “brr dat dat” you buckled when he purred, crouching down as you shook your head. You needed a cold shower, asap, a therapy session to discuss your discovery that you were an unhinged wanton lunatic, and probably a lobotomy following that because you were never going to recover from this.
How you managed to then outwardly wax poetic about Mingi’s rap skills and stage presence, while managing to not say out loud your inward imaginings of all of these men putting you through a mattress was a miracle to say the least. And you were supposed to pick a favourite at the end of this?? No, you were decidedly doomed to be OT8 after this.
“I think when I heard Untitled, that was when I really fell for Mingi. It so beautifully captured those daily struggles for so many of us, and I really appreciated him sharing that vulnerability with us.” Phew, you’d finally got all your words out, in a coherent order, sounding like a semi-sane person.
Mingi squirmed under the praise, his usual cool exterior melting a little. “Wow,” he mused, “Thank you.” He watched you, biting his lip, making your knees almost buckle as he stepped closer. “You wanna be my girl, huh?”
The glasses, his beautiful smile, the way his bass-heavy voice reverberated through your own chest given how close he was. His smile turned nervous and he blushed, one hand rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
You admit it, you moved first…but Mingi escalated it by picking you up and allowing you to climb him like a damn tree.
By the time Seonghwa had shrieked, Hongjoong had called time out, Wooyoung had screamed this was worse than what he did, and San had begun barking in encouragement, your legs were already wrapped around Mingi’s waist, your hands in his hair while his hands held your ass, tongues tangled and bodies shifting against each other like there weren’t 3 cameras and 15 people watching you.
“CUT!!!” yelled Jerry, throwing down his notepad in exasperation.
Twenty minutes later, having both been berated by the managers and the crew – excluding Marina who couldn’t even look at you – you and Mingi stole glances at each other from three chairs away in a backstage room as the team tried to fix your smudged makeup and remove your lipstick from Mingi's face so you could finish this damned video shoot.
“Hi angel.” Seonghwa delicately placed himself down on the table next to you, blocking your view of Mingi eye-fucking you. He tilted his head, running a finger across your cheek, still sporting a mortified blush. The makeup artist tapped his hand with the brush. “Sorry, sorry,” he held his hands up. “Actually, would you mind giving us a moment please? Thank you so much.” She sighed and excused herself, mumbling about not being paid enough for this.
Seonghwa’s hand slipped into yours, squeezing gently. “I hope you're ok?"
You let out a wet laugh, half unshed tears, “I’ll be lucky if my cousin speaks to me again after that display. What if she loses her job? What was I thinking?” You rubbed your forehead, half stress, half seeking a release of the tension building there.
“Don’t blame yourself, please, angel. It was a two-way street. They did say ‘anything goes’, which some members took a little too much as a challenge... But the Captain is talking to them now, apologising for our children’s behaviour.”
He turned with a glare to Mingi, who scarpered back towards the set, not wanting to incur Mother’s wrath. Seonghwa chuckled, making you laugh a little as you wiped your face.
“And obviously he’s highlighting it wasn’t your fault.” He silenced your objections before you could fully voice them. “So – we’re offering up more of our time both in compensation and with an idea to create even better content for the channel, and for us.”
“Ok...? What kind of content? Because I feel like the only progression from that shoot is OnlyFans content.”
Seonghwa choked on a laugh, swatting you on the shoulder, “Absolutely not. No, Joongie had an idea – instead of this cold white room and all of us together, making us more competitive and tempted to, uh, push boundaries, he’s suggesting we make a series where each of us get the chance to take you on a date. That way we can compete for your bias spot without getting riled up by each other. And the channel gets 8 videos instead of one, and we get more press. And...” He fiddled with a makeup brush in his free hand, his eyes glancing between it and yours. “...we get the chance to actually take you out, individually, which – approval from the managers or not – I think we would all like to do anyway.”
Nope, your soul had definitely left your body this time. A cocktail of thrilling excitement and abject anxiety raced through your veins. Seonghwa’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you grounded and you clung onto it. “When?”
“We’re in the area for the next two weeks. If they’ve agreed to it, they’ll be sorting out the schedules now.”
“Oh...” you breathed, struggling to remember your schedule for the next fortnight. “I don’t suppose they’ll give me any say in it, will they, after that shitshow? I’ll just have to turn up whenever they say.”
“To some extent, perhaps, but Joong will make sure it works for you too, otherwise he won’t agree to it,” he replied, reaching for the lipstick on the table. “I had some input into the order of things too, to keep the peace.”
“Hmm?” You glanced up at him, trying to keep still as he traced the brush along the curve of your bottom lip.
Seonghwa sighed, “Yeosang wanted to go first because he asked you first, but then Mingi and Yunho were both so...affected, they started arguing their case too. Mingi was trying to persuade us to let him take you out tonight, but Hongjoong wouldn’t budge on group drinks so we can all talk to you more.” He picked up the blush and began applying it. “So, I mediated the discussion and made them agree on an order.”
“No rock, paper, scissors this time? Or descending age order like always?”
“Hmm, not quite.” He smirked as he picked up an eyeliner pencil, “Now hold still.”
He finished his focused application and leaned out of the way of the mirror to let you see. Perfectly crimson lips, in a far steadier rosebud shape than you had ever managed, subtle blush across your nose and cheeks, and speckled freckles that almost looked natural.
“Woah... you’re hired!” You beamed, admiring his work, giggling as he preened. “So... where will you be in the order?”
“After the Captain. Someone’s got to piece you back together after a date with him.”
You gulped, grabbing his hand again. “Are... are all of you actually... interested in...” Hell, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. “Or is it all just for the content? I mean Mingi and Yunho... I could feel how...affected they both were, like you said... but, but I wouldn’t want to cause upset or a fight over me or... Oh and poor Yeosang asked me out first! Jesus, I thought it was all just fan service! But if it's not... oh he must think I’m such a fickle bitch the way I pounced on Mingi – fuck, this is insane!”
“Woah, hey, love, no, it’s ok!”
Seonghwa slipped off the table and wrapped you in his arms, your head level with his chest. You slipped your arms around his waist, pushing the side of your face into his shirt as you tried to steady your breathing. One of his hands stroked your hair as he guided you to match his breaths, slow and deep. When it finally levelled out, he reached for your jaw, gently stroking until you peeked up at him, resting your chin at the base of his sternum. You felt him shudder under your arms, his dark eyes blown and fixed on yours.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful like that,” he whispered. He took another shaky breath in, before crouching down so now he was looking up at you. One hand still stroked your hair, and he placed the other on your arm. “Listen, you do not have to do anything you don’t want to, understand? It doesn’t matter that we’re idols, honestly when do we ever even act like it? We’re just 8 men, that's all. You don’t have to come for drinks tonight, you don’t have to go on these dates if you don’t want - ”
“I want to!”
He chuckled at how quickly you interrupted him, reaching for your hand and placing a kiss to the inside of your wrist, just like San had earlier. “Ok, ok. But I want to explain something that might help set your mind at ease, at least in terms of any ideas of us fighting. The boys, we... our relationship is... How to explain...” He sighed, running a hand through his hair, looking around to check the room was empty before lowering his voice anyway. “We share everything, even each other. No one owns anyone but we all belong to each other in some way or another. Obviously, we have to be professional for the cameras, but when it’s just us it’s all very... fluid and open, I guess. We share, we ebb and flow. And we’ve extended that to other people before, if everyone has been in agreement. But if that’s not your thing, we will absolutely respect that, and we would respect whoever you chose to share yourself with, be that all of us, a few of us, or none of us. Does that help?”
Your brain had short-circuited after fluid and open, your chronically-online brain screeching ATEEZ polycule confirmed what the fuck, but you felt yourself nod, meeting his eyes again. “I think I might be up for that...”
“Oh yeah?” he quirked an eyebrow again, making you bite your lip. His eyes fell to your mouth and you were sure you felt more than heard him make a noise. Standing up suddenly, he whipped his head around like a meerkat. Everyone else seemed to have gone back to the set and no one had come looking for you yet. A Cheshire cat grin spread across his face as he pulled you up to standing, flush against him. “May I?”
You nodded, eyes closing as he leaned in and his lips pressed to yours. He hummed into the kiss, lips velvet-soft as they moved against yours for far too few seconds before he pulled away, leaving you blinking, chest heaving. It was reassuring to see he looked equally as hungry as you.
“Ok,” he steeled himself, checking your face and his own in the mirror before putting a professional mask back on and smiling. “Shall we go see what’s been decided then?”
You nodded, gripping his hand as he gently guided you back towards the main set.