Chapter Text
Ranma, Fae Queen of Chaos
Ranma looks around the rural village curiously now that she’s finally finished adjusting to the sudden loss of her humanity. Oh, it’s still there, ready to be pulled forward if she wishes. Though the blessing of Jusenkyo has been removed, it did manage to leave the parting gift of forcing her to change from a Queen to a King if she chooses to pull on her humanity.
There’s also the cat hiding away inside her, waiting to come out at any sign of weakness. Well, maybe she can give it a body occasionally rather than leaving it cooped up inside her.
The shouting of angry women causes Ranma to blink a few times as she realises that her blessed father has been consuming the bounty reserved for the winner of a tournament. Ranma’s thoughts screech to a halt once more, and she frowns as she wonders just how…
“Ranma! Get over here and defend me!”
Ranma runs through all the rules that her father tried to impart on her before she was freed by the blessing of Jusenkyo. A viscous smile crosses her face as she opens her mouth to call out a response.
A response that takes a moment to be spoken as she realises that the local people won’t understand her if she shouts normally. A slight tug on the power inside her imbues her voice with comprehension as she shouts, “But father, honour dictates that a martial artist fights their own battles. Isn’t that what you told me?”
“Oh poor me, my son is a worthless girl.”
Ranma rolls her eyes at the panda’s lament as the crowd of women look over at her momentarily. While she’s doing so, a wizened old prune of a woman hops over on her staff before whacking her on the head.
Ranma rubs her head, “OW! What was that for?”
The old crone pauses and whacks her again, “The first one was for calling me a prune, the second one was for calling me a crone.”
Ranma frowns as she says, “But I didn’t call you those things, I thought it, I didn’t call you them though.”
The old ghoul opens her mouth to say something before pausing… Eventually she says, “Are you narrating things in your head young lady?”
Ranma shrugs, “Maybe. May I have your name?”
“Only if you give me yours in return.”
Ranma considers that for a moment, before nodding, “Very well. Ranma Saotome.”
“Koron.” Ranma says.
Koron tastes her new name as Ranma jumps back on her staff in surprise as she warily says, “What did you do!”
Koron shrugs again, “What we agreed to do. I don’t like this name though, I’d like to trade it back.”
Ranma licks her lips “Only if you answer a few questions for me.”
“A number greater than two and less than six.” Even as she says that, Koron wonders why she specified something that everyone knows.
Ranma nods, “Very well. What are you?”
Koron shrugs and smiles in amusement, “I am me. Beyond that I don’t know. Though, the guide called me a pointy eared elf girl.”
Ranma ponders the answer as a cheer goes up from the crowd, “Can you understand the panda?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Not sure yet. Probably something to do with the fact he’s blessed.”
Ranma frowns slightly, presumably because Koron still has her original name. “Why is my name Ranma Saotome?”
Koron’s shoulders and jaw sag in exasperation, “Real…” Koron readjusts her jaw so that she can speak properly, “Really? I asked for your name, you asked for mine in return, I agreed and it happened. Why else would you be called Ranma Saotome.”
A bruised and exhausted young woman with purple hair jogs over towards them. Once she gets within a suitable distance, she stops and says, “Great-Grandmother, we have captured the panda. What should we do with it?”
Koron can’t help but chuckle as Ranma struggles to say something. She can’t keep the laughter out of her voice as she says, “Throw him into the middle of Jusenkyo, I want to see if he’ll pick up more blessings.”
The young woman googles at Koron before saying, “Who do you think you are dictating what we do with our prisoners!?”
Koron shrugs, “I think I’m me. Though I also think me now is different to me a week ago.”
As the young woman takes a threatening step towards Koron, Koron gets into a stance as Ranma says, “Shan Pu, tell Long-Long to take the strongest warriors to throw the panda into the valley from a safe distance.”
Shan Pu looks at Koron dubiously, “Are you sure Great-Grandmother?”
Koron sighs, “Do you really think she’d have said what she did if she wasn’t?”
Shan Pu pulls her bonbori from her back and steps threateningly towards Koron, “Are you looking for a fight outsider?”
Koron shakes her head, “Not really, but I’d love to spar with you at some point.”
“Well you’re asking for one.”
Koron looks at Shan Pu like she’s an idiot, “If I was asking for a fight, I’d say something like, ‘would you like to fight me?’ Then we’d set the rule and consequences…”
Ranma drops off her staff and raps Shan Pu over the head with it, “Do as I said, and tell Elder Si Ning to come and see me.”
Shan Pu gives Koron a dirty look before she runs off. As she does, Ranma asks Koron, “What would you have done if she attacked you?”
Koron shrugs, “Probably dodged, I need the practice.”
“And if she hit you?”
“Hit her back, obviously.”
An old woman that looks like a shelled walnut pogo’s over and demands, “What do you want Ranma?”
Koron says, “I don’t know. May I have your name?”
Ranma has an amused expression as she says, “I want you to answer her question.”
“Why?”
Koron snorts, “Because she wants to know what will happen.”
Koron’s shoulders visibly relax as she feels her name settle back into her. The walnut isn’t so fortunate as she says, “I’m Elder Si Ning to you outsider.”
Ranma tastes the name in her mouth, “It’s a nice name, I think I’ll keep it.”
The walnut stares at Koron in disgust, “You are dangerously close to wearing out your welcome.”
Koron snorts, “I haven’t had this much fun in decades. Ranma, would you like some hot water?”
Ranma cocks her head to one side, “Why, is your water bad? Or are you short on tea?”
The walnut sneers, “I’m going to inform the other elders, we’ll see what you have to say once they know.”
Koron shakes her head as the other… tribe member bounces off, “The water was so that you could return to your birth form. Though, I can offer tea too.”
Ranma pulls on her humanity and grimaces as the world becomes more confusing as she becomes a he and human. “I don’t need hot water to do that.”
Cologne says something in her native language, before repeating herself in Japanese, “I take it you can no longer understand me.”
Ranma shakes his head in disorientation, “Gah, this is horrible. Uh, whatcha say… oh, yeah, seems like it.”
Cologne smirks as Shampoo trots over and almost falls into the dirt as she sees Ranma’s birth form, “So I see. I have to insist that while you’re staying with us, you answer any challenges you received in this form. Just to make it fair on our younger members you understand.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
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A few weeks later, a grumbling Ranma follows a panda through the streets of Nerima in Japan, after he managed to trick her into agreeing that upholding family honour is the honourable thing to do, and therefore as an honourable person he needs to meet the Tendo family in Japan.
Of course, the corollary to that is that implies that her father also has honour. As if he doesn’t, then the agreement between families doesn’t have anything to back it up. It’s already provided her with amusement, the latest bout of which is just how many times her father has been splashed with water. Or the fact that it turns out that he’s one of the rare pandas that can’t eat grains without having… problems. Which is why she has a large bundle of bamboo strapped to her backpack.
As to why she’s currently wearing her humanity, and thus appears male, it’s quite simple. She can’t understand her father like this, so his suggestions have no weight.
As the dutiful son she’s currently pretending to be, Ranma opens the front gate of the Tendo estate to allow her panda pops to walk through. At the glare the panda gives her, Ranma smiles sweetly, “I’m just being a dutiful son helping my poor disabled father. After all, isn’t that the honourable thing to do?”
“Growlf.”
She has already closed the gate and started walking up to the front door by the time the panda her pops has got his sign up. Not seeing a bell or knocker, Ranma uses the back of her knuckles to knock on the front door while she reads the sign saying ‘To defeat owner in savage combat, use rear door’.
Curiously, the same sign was at the side of the gate.
When the door opens, Ranma can’t help asking the moustached middle-aged man, “Do people often miss the first sign when they request savage combat?”
“Huh?”
Ranma points at the duplicate sign on the side of the house, “Do people often miss the first sign when they request savage combat?”
“Oh, uh, who are you?”
As her pops tries to push past her, Ranma does a back kick through his sign, and launches the panda back down the path. “You can call me Ranma Saotome. Pops said we were expected. Sorry about him, he’s not dealing with the blessing very well, and he occasionally forgets about propriety.”
A young woman’s voice calls, “Who is it dad?”
The moustachioed man glances back, “Uh, it’s Ranma Saotome and a panda?”
Ranma smiles as a roofing tile slips off the roof and knocks the panda pops out as he’s about to attack her from behind. “The panda is actually my honourable father. Who I’m sure wasn’t going to do something so dishonourable as to attack someone from behind.”
The poor moustachioed man seems most confused, so Ranma helpfully says, “Maybe it would be better if we came inside and got him some nearly boiling water.”
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After being led around a corridor to a living room with a low table, the moustachioed man gestures to three young women kneeling beside the table, “These are my daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane.”
As the last word slips out of his mouth, Ranma relaxes and allows her humanity to recede as she has now been introduced. She can’t help the slight smirk on her face as she puts the panda on the floor, and reveals herself to the three women.
Nabiki clears her throat before saying, “Ah, father, I thought Ranma was supposed to be a boy, not a whatever she is.”
The moustachioed man looks back before fainting away on top of the panda.
Ranma shrugs and waves at the young women, “Hi, you can call me Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this.”
After a short moment, she adds, “Just to be clear, that was a sympathy type of sorry, not an apology type of sorry.”
Kasumi, a primly dressed woman in her early 20’s, stands up as she says, “I will get a blanket for father.”
Akane looks Ranma up and down, “Are you a martial artist?”
Ranma shrugs, “I have some skill in martial arts. What about you?”
“I am, would you like to spar?”
Ranma cocks her head to one side as she considers the request. After a moment she says, “I would, but I won’t until we have gone over the rules we’ll be playing by.”
Akane pouts, “It’s a spar, surely that’s all you need to know.”
Ranma tries to pin Akane with her gaze, alas her eyes are firmly attached to her head so it’s not possible. “Rules like, are weapons allowed, are we pulling our blows, will we be taking turns attacking and defending. Is there a win condition, or will it be timed. You know, silly little rules that stop broken bones and bodies. After all, the default rules are tit for tat.”
Nabiki’s eyes narrow as Akane marches over to Ranma and says, “Nothing that won’t heal overnight. Come on.”
Ranma rolls her eyes as she allows herself to be dragged to the dojo.
Nabiki looks up as Kasumi walks in carrying a blanket and pillow. As Kasumi’s covering their father up with the blanket, Ranma walks back in carrying Akane in a princess carry.
While Nabiki snickers, Kasumi covers her mouth with one hand and says, “Oh my. Is she ok?”
Ranma carefully puts Akane on the floor beside the table, “She’ll have a headache for a few hours, and have trouble breathing for a while. But she’ll heal by the time the sun rises.”
Nabiki says, “And how long did the fight last?”
Ranma shrugs, “Two hits once I went on the attack.”
Kasumi simply says, “I’ll put on some tea.”
Ranma looks at Kasumi as she stands up and walks towards the door. Just before she gets there Ranma says, “I’m sure that my father would appreciate some nearly boiling water when he wakes up. Would you like some help?”
Kasumi looks back with a puzzled expression, “Thank you for the offer, but you are a guest.”
The panda makes a growf sound as it reaches up to rub its head.