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Buck loves having a boyfriend. It’s similar enough in a lot of ways to having a girlfriend that he doesn’t feel completely out of his depth. It’s also so absolutely different enough that a lot of his insecurities don’t transfer over into a relationship with a man. It only took Tommy lifting him and backing him up against the wall one time for Buck to completely forget how self conscious he is about his size.
Women love dating big men; men with large muscles and tall enough to tower over them. And Buck loves the feeling that he gets when he easily lifts a girlfriend up and throws her onto the bed. But. Buck is always so acutely aware of just how much of his strength he’s using when he’s with a woman. He keeps his weight off her when they’re fucking, careful not to pull or push too hard in different positions. It’s always been a little exhausting, not being able to fully let go in the moment.
With Tommy, there’s a certain freedom that comes along with his size. Buck isn’t quite as built as Tommy is, but it doesn’t matter. He’s big enough that Tommy can use his strength and not worry about hurting Buck. It sends thrills up his spine every time he’s grabbed from behind and roughly pushed against a wall or when he’s the one being thrown onto the bed. Eventually, it makes him wonder how it would feel if the roles were reversed. If Buck could use his size and strength without worrying about breaking Tommy.
It stays in the back of his mind for a while, never quite insistent enough for him to linger on it too long. But once in a while the image of Tommy laid out under him, muscles and power all at Buck’s mercy pushes its way to the front of his head and Buck has to jack off at the thought. He doesn’t bring it up to Tommy until he starts to think about it when they’re having sex. It doesn’t take him away from the moment, but it does distract him enough that Tommy notices, because of course he does. Of all of his lovers, Tommy is definitely the most in tune with Buck’s body and his mind. It’s one of Buck’s favorite things about him, really. Tommy can read him like a book, so easily that most of the time Buck doesn’t even have the chance to get anxious or freak out because Tommy has already clocked the problem, fixed it, and is reassuring him before Buck even realizes there’s a problem in the first place.
During the post-sex cuddling, Tommy asks where his mind went and very briefly Buck considers lying. Briefly. But when he tilts his head up, looking at Tommy from Buck's place on his chest, Tommy's face is so sincere that Buck wouldn't dream of doing something so heinous as lying to his boyfriend. He gathers his thoughts but still they just flood out of his mouth.
"I was just. Uh. Well sometimes I just wonder, y'know, about how it would feel...reversed? But only if you'd want to, of course. I wouldn't pressure you or anything. I just-" Buck focuses on Tommy's face then and finds so much love and adoration that it promptly shuts him up. It makes Tommy smile and he places a quick kiss to Buck's forehead.
"Baby, if you wanna fuck me, all you have to do is ask."
Which of course led them to long conversations about switching and what they prefer and what Buck would like to try while topping. That was months ago, and now they're so in tune with each other, bodies moving in perfect sync, that Buck's pretty sure there's nothing he doesn't know about Tommy's sexual preferences. They've talked in length about likes and dislikes, hard no's and things they're curious about. It's calming being so sure about your choices and movements. Makes a previously very loud part of his mind quiet down. Which is why now that he's standing here holding a box of lace panties, he's kind of panicking.
He hadn’t meant to snoop. This was truly one time he could say that without a hint of dishonesty. Tommy had asked him to stop by his place on his way to Chimey’s and grab Maddie’s birthday gift since Tommy was at work. He was meeting Buck at Maddie and Chimney’s house right after shift, and had forgotten to grab the gift before he left. He described it as a brown box in his closet. Turns out, Tommy apparently stores everything in brown boxes in his damn closet. Which had led Buck to peeking into three before finding...not Maddie’s gift. God he hoped it wasn’t. Or maybe it was better if it was? Honestly he’s not sure which option would be worse at this point. He drops the box back in its spot and slowly closes the closet door. A million possibilities fly through his head as he tries to imagine why his boyfriend, who is very gay, might he add, has a box of lace panties in his closet. Maybe they’re from exes before he figured out who he is? Maybe he steals them? Oh god what if he commits crimes and they’re his trophies?! Buck’s mind swings wildly out into left field, trying and failing to come up with a good reason for a secret panty box in Tommy’s closet. What it gets instead is his phone beeping in his pocket, scaring the shit out of him.
He reads the text, from Tommy, “Hey I might’ve actually put it on the counter this morning? Idk I was kinda rushing”
On autopilot, Buck walks to the kitchen counter to find a small brown box next to the coffee maker. A little gift tag labeled Maddie sits on top. He grabs it and practically runs to his Jeep, almost forgetting to lock up on his way out.
He panics the entire drive to Maddie’s. A million scenarios run through his head and by the time he pulls into the driveway, he’s gotten himself so worked up that he can barely turn off the car. Buck sits and panics until there’s a knock on his window, which nearly sends him through the roof.
“Hey babe. You didn’t have to wait for me. Sweet that you did though,” Tommy says when he opens the door, casually like Buck’s world isn’t falling to pieces around him. He quirks an eyebrow at Buck's jumpiness and lack of response.
"You good, Ev?"
Is Buck good? No. He's so far removed from good that he's considering this might be what Hell feels like. But it's Maddie's birthday and he and Chim have spent weeks and hundreds of dollars to make it a special one. After everything she's gone through, Buck will not be the one to fuck this up for her. He pulls himself together enough to give Tommy a small smile and exit the vehicle, grabbing the gift on his way out.
"We'll talk later, okay?" He says it as a question, even knowing that Tommy will respect him enough to drop it for now anyway. Tommy nods in response, taking the offered gift, clearly confused and probably worried about Buck's behavior.
Yeah well I'm worried too so you can handle it for a couple of hours.
The party goes great, all things considered. Everyone has a great time and gushes about the food and decorations. Maddie loves all of her gifts, and the cake is almost gone by the time the booze come out. All in all, Buck is thrilled about everything. No one comments on how he and Tommy aren't attached at the hip like usual. He catches a few questioning glances, and sees Hen and Eddie whispering between themselves. But no one asks and Buck damn sure isn't gonna tell.
By the time everyone else has gone home, it's after 9pm and he's exhausted. He shoos Maddie and Chim back into their house, insisting that he and Tommy will do the quick clean up before they leave. Maddie gives him a hug and thanks, and whispers, "Talk to him," in his ear as she waves goodbye to Tommy and goes inside. It's eerie how well his sister knows him sometimes.
It's awkward and forced as they clean up. Gathering the most important things, like cups and plates, that might fly away and pollute the already dirty ocean. They work on opposite ends of the yard, coming together just as they've gathered the worst of the mess.
"That uh. That looks good to me. Not much left for them in the morning." Buck can’t even look at Tommy, too many things still running through his mind.
Tommy hums in response, gathering the bags and taking them around the house to throw them in the bed of his truck. They’d planned on driving them to the dump in the morning, then having a date-day to themselves. Unlikely that’s going to happen.
When everything is loaded, Tommy walks up to where Buck stands by his Jeep door, fidgeting with his keys. Bucks feels fingers gently lifting his chin before he’s face to face with his boyfriend.
“Is it okay if I ask you to still come home with me?”
Buck considers for a moment, before figuring they might as well get the conversation over with before his head explodes.
“Yeah. Yeah I’ll uh. I’ll follow you home.”
He panics the entire drive to Tommy’s, making his way there on autopilot. He pulls in right beside Tommy’s truck, and goes inside before he can talk himself out of it. Tommy sits in the living room, taking up one side of his very large, and very comfy, couch. Buck feels almost silly being nervous to sit at the other end, given all they’ve done on this very piece of furniture.
“So, what happened between you getting Maddie’s gift and you arriving at her place,” Tommy asks, always straight to the point. It used to bother Buck a little, how there was never any beating around the bush when it came to having important conversations with Tommy. He always dove right in head first, and it forced Buck to say what was really on his mind rather than having time to sugarcoat it. He’s used to it now, though, and appreciates it. Being more direct is something Tommy has taught him and so far it hasn’t gotten him in any trouble. So far.
“It was uh. Actually before that. The gift. Well, before finding the gift. When I was looking for it...” Buck trails off, leaving Tommy with a very confused look on his face.
“Okay?”
Taking a deep breath, Buck forces the words out before he loses his nerve. “I was looking for the box in your closet, and you store a lot of things in brown boxes in your closet by the way. And I found one that had. Uh. Panties. Lace panties. Just a whole box of lace panties in your closet Tommy and I’ve been trying to find a good reason all day why you might have them and I-”
Tommy’s voice shuts him up when he interrupts with, “They’re mine.”
Buck’s mouth hangs open on the next word he was going to say, so Tommy continues.
“I like lace. No I’m not cheating on you, no I don't murder women and keep their underwear as trophies.”
Buck’s eyes go wide and he blushes.
“Don’t pretend like that wasn’t something your brain cooked up, Evan.” Tommy says it so lightly, so casually. Like he knows him or something. He does, god he really does. Buck is still confused and at a loss for words, though.
Tommy sighs and moves his neck from side to side, a nervous habit Buck has noticed he has from time to time.
“Look, I get it if you’re uncomfortable with it or not interested. But I really don’t need to hear about how weird or disturbing you find it. Okay? It’s not something I really wanted to talk about. At least not for a while.”
Again, Buck is confused. Maybe more confused now than he was at the beginning of this and that’s really saying something.
“Distu- Tommy what are you talking about?”
His boyfriend is a saint, honestly. So patient and kind while he waits for Buck’s head to catch up.
“Oh god. They’re yours! Like. Like yours yours? As in you...”
“I wear them, yes.” Tommy’s face is blank and his voice void of any emotion.
Buck shifts on the couch, folding one leg onto it to better look at Tommy. “Like...by yourself? Or at work or?”
“When I’m at home alone. Sometimes to run errands. I like how they look and feel.”
“Do you, uh. Y’know,” Buck stammers, making a suggestive hand movement for a second before deciding now is the time to be a little bit of an adult, “get off with them on? Is that a thing you’re into?”
He can see the trepidation in Tommy’s face. It hurts him a little, knowing that Tommy doesn’t trust him with this.
“Yeah. I do. And honestly Evan I really don’t t-”
Buck rushes to interrupt him. “Remember when I told you that I thought about fucking you and you said all I had to do was ask?”
“Uh. Yeah?” His boyfriend is so cute when he’s confused.
“Tommy, I really wanna fuck you.”
“Excuse me?” He might even consider him hot when confused, too.
Buck shifts closer to him, hand resting on Tommy’s thigh. “I had no idea lace was even an option here. I fucking love it. The feel of it. How delicate and powerful it looks all at once. And it’s so soft, god it feels amazing running my hands over it. My tongue...”
Relief takes over Tommy’s face then, just as a flush starts up his neck. “You don’t think it’s weird? For a guy to be the one wearing them?”
Buck shifts again, this time putting himself firmly in Tommy’s lap. He grinds down slowly, “Does this feel like I think it’s weird, Mr. Kinard?”
Tommy’s eyes fall shut for a moment as the flush makes its way up into his cheeks. Buck sees him shiver, sees the deep breath he takes before opening his eyes again.
“No, baby, it really doesn’t.”
“Fantastic,” he says, touching every piece of exposed skin he can find, “May I please fuck you in your favorite pair now? I am never going to stop thinking about this until we do it.” Jesus, he’s a little breathless already.
Tommy chuckles, running his hands all over Buck’s back and thighs. “Of course, baby. Gonna let me up so I can go put them on for you?”
Seeing Tommy so free again, trusting and confident, it really does something for him. Buck’s hands stop their wandering path at Tommy’s chest, pinching a nipple through his shirt and earning him a hiss in response.
“I think I’d rather you carry me there so I can watch you get dressed for me.”
Tommy’s smile could light up the darkest of caves, the way his eyes scrunch up and his face is so open. It makes something ache in Buck’s chest, and in his pants.
Tommy responds by lifting him off of his lap before standing up and picking up Buck like he weighs nothing. He wraps his legs around Tommy’s waist and hangs on for the ride, sparks of pure lust taking over his body. His boyfriend is so big and powerful and he’s going to be wearing lace and fuck. Fuck. Buck might come before the fun even really begins.
Tommy gently tosses him onto the bed before immediately going to the closet and sifting through the box, eventually coming out with a black lace pair that look so soft Buck has to reach out to touch. He doesn’t get the chance before Tommy is batting his hand away and lifting the underwear over his own head.
“Ah ah. You said you wanted to watch me get dressed. So watch.”
His tone is teasing and fond and so heated that it makes Buck shiver in response. He watches as Tommy slowly unbuttons his henley, taking it off even slower and revealing the muscles and power underneath. He rolls his shoulders once, twice, watching Buck’s reaction. Then he makes quick work of his socks before going back to the torturously slow process of removing his jeans and boxers. He’s clearly showing off for Buck’s sake, making a show out of exposing more skin inch by inch. By the time he’s finally naked, Buck is basically vibrating on the bed, desire and anticipation running through his veins. Finally, finally, he grabs the lace underwear from where they lay on the dresser and puts them on. Buck watches, absolutely transfixed, as Tommy pulls them up his legs, past his thighs, to his hips. The black floral lace does absolutely nothing to hide his cock, hard and bulging in the front of the boxer brief style panties he’s chosen. It’s obscene, the way the color contrasts with his skin, the delicateness of the lace so marred by the leaking cock underneath.
Buck’s eyes eventually break away from the sight to look at Tommy’s face. He’s shy again, face soft and eyes wrinkled in concern. Buck can’t have that. Tommy looks like his new favorite sin right now, he has nothing to be nervous about.
When he moves off the bed, it’s with intent and purpose. He needs Tommy to understand how perfect he looks, how edible and sweet. He wants to erase every single doubt in his mind and replace them with confidence and desire.
The first touch of his hands to Tommy’s skin makes him jump. Minutely, but enough that Buck makes a mental note to ask about it later. His hands wander over toned muscle and soft skin, sticking above the waist until Tommy relaxes into his touch, his own hands making their way to Buck’s still clothed body.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful, Tommy Kinard,” Buck whispers into the silence between them. It’s reverent, filled with so much love and promise. And he means it all. Tommy has spent so long making him feel like someone worth loving, now it’s his turn to do the same.
“You think so?” The way Tommy says it, a quiet question with so much weight behind it, tugs at Buck’s heartstrings. His hands move to his boyfriend’s face, gently cupping it and making sure he’s looking him in the eyes as he says, “I promise.”
Their lips meet then, gentle at first. Buck wants Tommy to understand just how much he means those words. It doesn’t take long before lust wins out though, and the kiss turns filthy. Buck’s hands wander all over Tommy’s body again, this time making their way to the lace so beautifully covering his hips. It’s just as soft as he knew it would be. God he’s already addicted. His fingers roam the waistband, feeling the pattern of the flowers under his touch as his lips make their way to Tommy’s neck, kissing and biting. And Tommy, for all of his power and dominance, stays beautifully still, allowing Buck to do as he pleases. He works on eliciting as many moans and gasps as he can, until it’s all not enough anymore. He needs Tommy under him, looking up at him as he moans in pleasure.
Buck uses his strength to quickly spin them around and push Tommy down onto the bed. He bounces once, then catches himself and moves to the center, laying back and showing off how good he looks. Buck can still read the nerves on his face, in the way his muscles twitch and his eyes struggle to make eye contact. But he works on putting on a show for Buck anyway, folding his hands behind his head in the way that stretches his muscles and makes him look absolutely massive.
God, Buck is gonna ruin him.
He has a dozen ideas for what to do next but getting his mouth on Tommy’s lace covered cock easily wins out in the end. He strips off his shirt before taking hold of one of Tommy’s legs and pulling, Tommy getting the hint and making room between his legs for Buck. He runs his hands reverently over Tommy’s thighs, watching his face carefully. Usually the things they do together are old news to Tommy, so it’s a delight to get to see him experience something so new and thrilling.
Buck keeps looking at his face as he lowers his head and licks a long line up the lace barely covering Tommy’s cock. He can easily feel the heated skin underneath, as peaks of the pale skin show through the fabric. Tommy’s eyes shut tight and his cock jumps under Buck’s tongue, and he already knows he wants to do this again and again. Tommy’s mouth falls open on the next pass of his tongue, and by the time the front of the lace is completely soaked through, they’re both panting. Buck’s hips grind down into the bed on their own accord, dragging his own dick through the precum soaking his underwear and jeans.
“Open your eyes, baby, don’t you wanna see me?” Buck means for it to be teasing and light, but it comes out breathless and desperate instead. It doesn’t matter, because Tommy opens his eyes anyway and his hips immediately jerk up into Buck’s mouth.
“Fuck sorry I just. Fuck,” is all Tommy gets out before he’s grabbing Buck’s hair in one hand and pulling him up for a heated kiss. His other hand makes easy work of Buck’s jeans, working them and his underwear past Buck’s ass. It takes a small amount of fumbling and a few laughs before Buck is finally naked with Tommy’s tongue down his throat. One of Tommy’s big hands grabs his ass and yanks him forward, closing the distance between them, and Buck’s dick feels the delicious softness of Tommy’s lace underwear. He can’t help but whine and jerk his hips forward, grinding his own dick into Tommy’s clothed one.
The friction and softness work together to make the perfect slide for Buck’s cock, and he gets caught up in chasing the high. Tommy’s mouth stops sucking a bruise into his collarbone so he can pull back and watch. Buck knows he has to look debauched, completely pulled apart at the seams, but he doesn’t care.
“Gonna come for me baby? Go ahead, come for Daddy.” Fuck, the way those words sound on Tommy’s lips. It’s like a command coming down from above. Buck is helpless to follow his order, painting Tommy’s pretty black lace white with his release. His cock gets sensitive quickly, and his hips stop stuttering when the last drop falls from the tip. But Tommy doesn’t let him pull away. Instead he uses both hands to draw him even closer, rutting up against Buck’s sensitive dick and smearing his come all over both of them.
Buck whines with it, sensitive and exhausted, but he’s never been one to deny Tommy anything. He hangs on for the ride, until his face must betray him. Because suddenly their positions are flipped and Buck is laying flat on his back, Tommy hovering above him like an angel Buck wasn’t sure he believed in.
“You know better than to make yourself uncomfortable for me, Evan,” Tommy breathes out, voice tight and raspy. It’s Buck’s favorite voice, the one Tommy uses when he’s this close to losing control completely. When he’s reprimanding Buck for something that he finds hot nonetheless. Half of the time Buck does the stuff on purpose, just to watch Tommy struggle with the need to correct him while trying not to come from the sight alone.
“But I want to make you feel good, Daddy. Didn’t get to fuck you like I promised.” Buck says it with a pout on his face. Something that he knows drives Tommy wild. He bats his eyes and tries to keep the devious smile from his lips.
It doesn’t work, naturally, because Tommy knows him all too well. Instead it gets him a soft hand around his throat, no pressure, just the delicious threat of what could be. Buck knows that Tommy is close, can see the aborted little thrusts his hips give involuntarily while he tries to figure out what to do with Buck. It’s a heady feeling, leaves him high some days, just knowing that he has all of this power over Tommy. Even when Tommy is calling the shots, Buck can still make him do what he wants.
Like now. It’s so easy to wrap his legs around Tommy’s waist and yank him closer, pressing their hips together. It also lets his hands wander over Tommy’s chest and abdomen, scratching and pinching as he goes. Tommy’s cock slots itself so perfectly in the space between Buck’s groin and thigh, pushing obscenely behind the ruined lace panties. He has to be sensitive, close to letting go after all of the build up.
Tommy’s lips quirk into a smile above him, and the hand around his throat twitches minutely. “You think you can make Daddy come like this baby boy? Think your thigh is good enough for Daddy? Huh? That’s what you want isn’t it? For me to come, rutting against you like I can’t help myself.”
God, Tommy’s mouth. On a good day it’s the hottest thing Buck has ever heard, and on a bad day it makes him hard hours or even days after he’s spewed some of the dirtiest things known to man. Or at least to Buck.
And he’s right, it’s absolutely what Buck wants, as it turns out. He loves watching Tommy lose control. Loves seeing him give in to his basest instincts and go wild. It’s even better now, knowing that Tommy has never gotten this with anyone else. Tommy has been many of Buck’s first and it’s wildly hot to get to be one of his.
“Yes, god yes, please.” It’s a plea and a prayer all at once. Buck can’t think of anything he wants more right now than to watch Tommy come apart above him. Not even getting to fuck him would top the sight of Tommy, this massive manly man, grinding his hips down into Buck’s, trying to come in his pretty black panties. The contrast leaves Buck breathless, helpless to watch as Tommy rolls his hips, like he’s fucking into the tight heat of Buck’s ass. A glance up to his face shows that Tommy is barely holding himself together. His eyes are squeezed tight and his mouth hangs open on a silent moan. Not for the first time, Buck wishes he had a camera to capture the moment. He’ll bring that up next, he thinks.
Seconds tick by with just their ragged breaths and the sound of lace dragging against skin before Tommy throws his head back, hand still around Buck’s throat, and comes. A moan rips from his chest, guttural and animalistic, and it has Buck’s cock twitching. Tommy’s hand makes its way up to his chin and holds tight, and then he’s leaning down and kissing him. It’s passionate and sloppy, but Buck knows what Tommy isn’t saying. He can feel the relief in his boyfriend’s body, the tension completely gone and replaced with satiety and love. Buck’s own hands come up to wrap around Tommy, pulling him close.
Buck’s enjoying the afterglow and cuddles when he feels little shakes from Tommy, and then wetness against his neck where Tommy has tucked his head. It takes him a second to realize that Tommy is crying. Buck’s heart immediately breaks, and he runs through a hundred scenarios in his head before finally settling on one course of action.
“I love you, Tommy. Thank you for sharing that with me,” he says, while pulling Tommy impossibly closer. Tommy shifts, removes most of his weight from directly on top of Buck and lifts his head to look at Buck’s face. He must like whatever he sees there, because then he’s smiling while tears roll down his cheeks, and he’s so goddamn pretty that Buck makes a mental note to look into crying as a kink later.
“I love you, Evan.”
He’s so sweet and sincere and Buck silently curses every man that has made him insecure about himself, even just this one thing.
“Y’know, those panties are definitely ruined. We’re gonna have to go shopping.”
The sound of Tommy’s laugh and the look on his face could light up the darkest of rooms. So open. So free. So all for Buck.
Oh he’s gonna spend so much money on lace.