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Kalim really hadn’t meant to snoop. Honest!
He’d only been poking around the school’s study database to look for last year’s alchemy notes—and, well, technically, he did have his own…but those were more doodles than anything resembling actual information. Which was bad, because with a test he’d completely forgotten about looming right at the end of the week, he needed something to study from, fast. As such, a few desperate clicks later, his search somehow led him to a strange little blog with an electric blue background and endless walls of text.
At first, he thought it was just some random diary, but then he read this certain anecdote, and it made his eyes widen—
sunshine npc respawned 2day 🙄 man’s got infi stam cheats lol. just speedran into my rm no knock% like he OWNS the server?? starts buff spamming like we’re in a raid tgt 💀 aggro bar? stolen. me? didn’t even accept this damn side quest smh. nerf when??
(Sunshine…NPC? Infinite stamina? Bursting into rooms like he owns the place? That was—!)
“That sounds like me!” Kalim whispered, clapping his hands together as the realization hit. Was a kindred soul also in Sage Island somewhere?! Quickly, he scrolled down, half-expecting to find any semblance of a hint regarding the identity of this mysterious “sunshine npc,” but instead he found…
dude’s got no dmg output but his aoe heal’s busted. keeps casting smile+ every 5s like he’s farming affection points. why does the npc care if the boss dies?? i just wanna be left alone….
…more posts like that. And yeah, nope. This was becoming more and more cryptic. He couldn’t understand what the original poster was trying to say at all.
But thankfully, Kalim knew someone who was good at this sort of gaming lingo! Maybe he’d pay him a visit later after exams? For now, however—he exited the strange blog, gathered his things, and bounced toward the library doors, ready to head over to Riddle and Azul’s dorms.
“I should ask Riddle and Azul if they can help me study!”
The exact moment exams wrapped up, Kalim practically floated out of the hall, relief buzzing through his chest. He’d promised himself that once the tests were over, he’d finally ask that person about that strange blog he’d stumbled onto while “studying,” and he was determined to do exactly that! And so, he passed through the Hall of Mirrors, watching the glass ripple and shimmer around him. One blink later, and the fleeting sunlight soon gave way to the chill glow of Ignihyde.
It was a sight to behold, truly. Mist curled around the floor like breath, and pale light flickered from the walls, tracing through skeletal pipes and cables. The air hummed quietly—steady, mechanical, almost alive… The sight made Kalim slow for a moment, eyes wide as he took it all in and marveled at how perfectly the place reflected its dorm leader. Such a pretty shade of blue~! is what he thought.
Just as he was thinking that, he caught sight of a few Ignihyde students nearby, hunched over their tablets and muttering in code-speak he couldn’t begin to follow. Perking up, he broke into a jog toward them, waving cheerfully.
“Excuse me…! Could you tell me where Idia’s room is?!”
A flurry of whispers broke out at once.
“Wait—isn’t that the Scarabia dorm leader?”
“Oh no, he’s looking for Idia.”
“Quick, just take him there before he tries to be…friendly!”
“I mean, he kinda already is…?”
Even if the Ignihyde students had a…let’s say…unique sense of hospitality, they still led Kalim to Idia’s room, shuffling ahead of him in stiff silence before pointing at the door like it was about to blow up. From how nervous yet notably less irritated they were, Kalim figured they had to be first years, which only made them even cuter! He would definitely invite every single one of them to his next banquet.
And with that, still smiling, Kalim knocked on the door. “Idia! Hello!” he called, the gold trinkets on his clothes chiming lightly as he shifted in place. “It’s me! Kalim!”
That alone triggered a muffled crash inside, followed by the sound of rapid clicking—like someone trying to shut down ten programs at once. Kalim frowned in concern. Was something going on?
“Er… You doing good there, bud?” he asked, willing himself to knock once more. Before he could do so, though, a chair scraped, something toppled… And there came a long, tired groan, followed by a strained, “...Kalim-shi… why are you here…?” from a voice that was undeniably Idia. He was finally answering!
Kalim leaned closer, voice bright as ever. Time to let it all out!
“I just wanted to ask you something! You’re the best person I could think of for it!”
“That’s… a really ominous thing to say,” came Idia’s voice, suspicious and weary through the door. It made the Scarabian student laugh in amusement. “What’s so funny.”
“S’nothing…! But, oh! Can you open the door first? It feels weird talking to a wall.”
“? Hell no.”
A sharp click followed, akin to multiple locks engaging at once. A few beats passed them by before Kalim blinked, then laughed as he’d done before, completely undeterred.
“Alright then!” he said brightly, settling into a squat with his back against Idia’s door, still smiling like this was perfectly normal. “I was studying for exams the other night—”
“You? Studying? Okay, now I’m really scared.”
“Hey! I do study sometimes!” Kalim replied with a playful pout, though his grin didn’t fade for a second. He crossed his arms and harrumphed fakely. “Anyway, while I was looking for alchemy notes, I found this strange blog! The writer talks in all these game terms I don’t really get, but they kept mentioning someone called ‘sunshine NPC,’ and I thought maybe you could help me figure out who that is!”
A long pause followed. Then came a dull thud against the wall, sharp enough to make Kalim flinch. It sounded suspiciously like someone’s forehead surrendering to gravity.
“…This has gotta be some kind of joke,” Idia finally muttered, voice caught somewhere between disbelief and dread.
“Hm? Why are you reacting like that?” Kalim asked, gasping as realization hit him. “Wait, do you actually know something about this?”
“N-no!” Idia’s reply came out too fast, too high-pitched. “I mean, maybe! I mean, no! Just, ugh, I already regret being part of this conversation. Please leave before it’s too late.”
“Wait, wait, listen to this part!” Kalim said, scrolling excitedly through the post. “‘Sunshine NPC respawned today. Man’s got infinite stamina cheats. Just speedran into my room no knock% like he owns the server.’” He paused to scratch his cheek. “Er, am I pronouncing this correctly…?”
The Scarabian did not receive an answer to that question of his. From the other side of the door instead came a sharp inhale, superseded by the quiet, rising sound of sheer panic. Kalim could almost hear Idia vibrating. But why?
“???? Idia?”
“K-Kalim-shi, delete that. Delete that right now. No, delete everything. Burn your tablet if you have to. That’s not safe reading material!”
“Safe? What do you mean?” Kalim blinked. “It’s just a blog.”
“That’s not just a blog!” Idia yelped. “That’s classified gamer scripture. People have lost years trying to decode that!”
Kalim gasped, scandalized. “Seriously?”
“No! I mean yes. I mean, it’s complicated!” the Ignihyde dorm leader’s voice cracked, teetering on hysteria. “Why would you even look for that?”
“I wasn’t looking,” Kalim said defensively. “I just found it while studying—”
“HOW?!”
“—But the writer sounds so funny, you know! And I was wondering what kind of person they were talking about; the one with the ‘infinite stamina cheats’ and the ‘smile+ spell.’ Hehe.” Kalim smiled, bumping the back of his head against the door. “They sound really nice.”
There was a beat of silence. Then a small, strangled noise of suffering from behind the door. “…Yeah. Nice. That’s one word for it,” Idia said. Surprisingly, those words didn’t seem insulting at all. Which was odd. Kalim figured that Idia didn’t get along well with people like this Sunshine NPC—people like him.
Kalim pursed his lips. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t say that out loud. So, instead, he scrolled further down the glowing screen, humming thoughtfully. “…Oh!” he exclaimed whilst beaming. “Here’s another one!”
“Kalim-shi, please.”
“‘Sunshine NPC showed up again. Said I looked tired. Like—of course I’m tired, bro, I’ve been grinding existential dread side quests since day one.’” Kalim laughed. “That’s so silly! But also…kinda sad?”
“Oh great seven delete delete delete—”
“Ooh, this one’s longer!” Kalim continued scrolling. “‘NPC keeps leaving items in my inventory. Potions, snacks, random buffs… like I’m running a dating sim I didn’t install. Can you uninstall people?? Asking for a friend.’” He then furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh, didn’t I gift you these sorts of stuff a month ago, too?”
“…I… I… what kind of sick algorithm brought you to that site?!” Idia’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence. A certain shuffling was within hearing range at this point, and Kalim figured that Idia was now making his way towards the door. “That’s, that’s private! Uh—I mean fictional! It’s just satire! Irony posting!”
“It is? Huh! But the writer keeps talking about how the NPC makes him happy!” Kalim said brightly, oblivious. “Look—‘he smiled again today. Like he didn’t know he was glowing. I almost forgot to panic.’”
Inside the room came a noise like a dying hard drive. Kalim decided to ignore it.
“See, that’s what’s confusing!” he continued. “It sounds like he’s annoyed at first, but then it’s kinda…warm? Like he likes the NPC, but he doesn’t wanna say it.”
Idia’s voice pitched higher, pure panic now. “Kalim-shi, please stop reading lore drops aloud! That’s not even beta content! That’s, that’s like, emotional malware! You’ll catch feelings by proximity…!”
“Huh? Feelings? Oh, you mean…! I get it now!” he prattled on, turning towards the door and bumping his forehead against it. He smiled; and perhaps it was divine mercy how Idia wasn’t there to witness that in person. “The sunshine NPC must be someone the writer really, really likes.”
A long, heavy silence stretched out, making Kalim tilt his head in curiosity. Then came a strained, fragile whisper from the other side, so faint it almost felt like it wasn’t there at all. “You have no idea…”
Kalim’s grin softened, curiosity deepening. His heart pricked a bit after hearing that. “…S-so what kind of person do you think the poster’s talking about?” he chuckled. “’Cuz, erm, the more I read, the more I realized the sunshine NPC kinda reminds me of me.”
“……..Shit.”
“And the person who wrote it all kinda sounds like you. So…I thought if those two are close, friends or, y’know, something more, then maybe I should spend more time with you too!” Kalim then leaned against the door once more, cheeks feeling a little hot. “W-whaddaya think?”
A sudden bang rattled the door, followed by a muffled groan.
The Scarabia dorm leader tilted his head, a slow smile spreading across his face as his composure settled back in. He quipped, “Wow, you really do take your blogs seriously. I like that!”
“…Kalim-shi, I’m not joking!” came a frantic squeak from behind the door. “Step one foot inside and I swear I’ll unplug the entire building! And you—you already know, don’t you?!”
Kalim blinked. “…Know what? Also, I can’t step inside if you’ve locked yourself in! Nahaha.”
“A-argh!!! You’ve figured it all out! The posts, the NPC, everything—you’ve put it together!”
“Hm? Put together whaaat?”
“Kalim-shi!”
A long, heavy silence followed, broken only by the faint scrape of a chair and the soft hum of servos somewhere in the room. Kalim’s grin softened as he leaned against the door, humming in amusement. He didn’t push further, didn’t press for answers. Instead, he let the quiet stretch, letting the other person catch their breath—or figure out what to do next.
He could feel the pause, the hesitation, the tiniest tremor of panic, and he chuckled softly to himself. Whatever happened after this…well, that was entirely up to them.